The Life After Podcast (The Life After Podcast, Brady Hardin)

Trigger warning: Episode touches on domestic abuse (and begins with a John Piper audio clip).

Ashley Adams is a strong woman. She has overcome a lot including growing up with Brady, navigating youth group with undiagnosed depression and anxiety, the loss of her mother, domestic abuse, divorce, and more. She joins hosts Brady Hardin and Chuck Parson to tell her brave story of how she had enough and fought back hard for her own happiness and fulfillment.

This episode mentions domestic abuse without going into detail. If you are being abused by your partner, know there is nothing you have done or are doing to cause the abuse. It is solely the choice of the abuser. It may seem impossible to leave, change your circumstances, or reach out and ask for help you need, but it is possible. However, you know your abuser best, so think carefully through your situation and circumstances and do what is the best for you.

If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.

For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or  1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

http://ncadv.org/learn-more/get-help

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

While most of the episodes focus on deconstruction, this episode tackles reconstruction. James Croft, Ed.D., the outreach director of The Ethical Society of Saint Louis, joins Brady and Chuck to answer the extremely important question of what to do after leaving the faith. Many people struggle with establishing a new set of morals and ethics after leaving dogmatic religion, but James shows how it can be done with logic and practical empathy.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

TW: This episode contains stories of sexual, physical, and spiritual abuse (not in great detail).

The episode that kept growing! What started as a mini-project to release while Chuck worked on a more complex episode kept putting itself in our view as the news of sexual predators poured out. Much of the world has a problem knowing, defining, and respecting consent. Women, who were once made to feel powerless, have proven their predators wrong by coming forward while others, for a wide spectrum of reasons, remain silent. We speak with one of our favorite guests, Jamie Lee Finch, about consent, desire for power that leads to abuse, and sexual ethics.

Listener Kyla Bauer ends the episode with a powerful story of how her family did what was “right” in the eyes of the Bible, but it led them right back into the cycle of abuse.

To learn more about Jamie’s work, follow her on Twitter, @jamieleefinch or visit her website: jamieleefinch.com.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

*Chrissy has since transitioned since this episode and the description has been updated to reflect it.

Chrissy Stroop, PhD created the #EmptyThePews Movement to ask Evangelicals to examine the fruits of their religion and walk away from its grip. Chrissy joins Brady and Chuck on this episode of The Life After, focusing on the community of ex-evangelicals, bound together through the internet.

Chrissy discusses the history of how abortion became the foundation of religious right-wing politics, how her degree in Russian history has made her a unique expert in these unpredictable political times, and Chrissy shares her heart-breaking story of spiritual abuse. You can find Chrissy’s blog, Not Your Mission Field, at cstroop.com. She is a common guest and contributor to our friends, the #Exvangelical community.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

 

 

What makes counseling good or bad? What ethical laws are in place to protect people from harmful counselors? Are pastors and “church counselors” held to the same standard? How can you know if you’ve been treated fairly by a pastor, church counselor, or therapist?

Ari Holtz, PhD is a licensed psychologist. He joined The *Life After Boyz in the studio to discuss how church counseling often works and derails. Brady and Chuck shared stories of church counseling and spiritual abuse, allowing Ari to give his valuable input. They ended with a game of “Evangelical View Point vs. Ari’s Professional Opinion” that showed the contrast of the two worldviews and methods.

 

Mental Health Resources:

Find a Therapist: www.psychologytoday.com. Search by insurance, sliding scale, clinical issues, gender, location, etc.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264). They recommend free or low-cost treatment options.

The Secular Therapy Project: Seculartherapy.org. Want to make sure you’re getting a therapist who isn’t going to push a religious worldview even unconsciously? Check them out here.

211: www.211.org. They provide more mental health resources.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You are never alone.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Indoctrination is one very essential topic that permeates everything we talk about on this show, but so far we haven’t really addressed it directly. It is so pervasive within religious systems that its almost impossible to talk about anything on this show without it looming in the background.

That makes it difficult to really define and nail down. OED defines it as “The process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically.” What you end up with is a long line of dominoes, each domino is one of the things you have to believe to in order for your religious system to remain whole. Indoctrination is the insistence that you don’t poke, prod, remove, or even too closely observe the any of the dominoes because what happens if you knock one over? The whole system is exposed.

Host Brady and Chuck sat down their friends, Tim Warzel and Jamie Lee Finch, to discuss the ever-present ghost called indoctrination.

To learn more about Jamie’s work, follow her on Twitter, @jamieleefinch or visit her website: jamieleefinch.com.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Listen to the first episode of The Life After Podcast. Brady Hardin describes his exit from a toxic, religious environment. He interviews Chuck Parson, a friend he had while a practicing Christian. Chuck, like Brady, had left his faith. Together, they discuss Religious Trauma Syndrome, Christian Mysticism, sexuality, things they miss from their “lives before,” and much more.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Hosts, Brady Hardin and Chuck Parson, interview Marnie K., a former member of the same church Brady was kicked out of. Marnie retells her experience of discovering homeschool as an option for her daughter that needed a one-on-one approach to education. Eventually, she was influenced by the church and was given toxic instruction regarding her marriage. She tells her story of coping with mistreatment, divorce, and resiliently fighting for herself and her children.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Zach B. joins the show to talk about his two close encounters with death. The first was of a friend. The second was his own. Zach discusses his appreciation for his Christian mother’s willingness to sacrifice in order to save his life. 

Coming face-to-face with his mortality without his previously-held Evangelical beliefs was not at all what he expected.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Brady Hardin and Chuck Parson take the show on the road to Nashville, TN to interview Jamie Lee Finch on the subjects of sexuality, the dangers of Purity Culture, and the downfalls of Patriarchy. Jamie describes how much of her journey after leaving religion involves understanding her body. She gives life-changing advice on how to become a whole person and heal from trauma.

Bonus: Listen to Jamie reading her own original poems throughout the episode.

To learn more about Jamie’s work, follow her on Twitter, @jamieleefinch or visit her website: jamieleefinch.com

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Instead of a regular guest, Chuck interviews Brady, host and founder of The Life After, about his childhood and exit from religion. Brady opens up about his difficult childhood, growing up gay in church, and the spiritual abuse that eventually led to his faith’s demise (but the birth of this podcast).

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Caleb Doyle joins Brady and Chuck. Brady was Caleb’s church camp counselor as a kid. The three discuss their shift in politics after leaving the church, and Caleb describes life without a father. Caleb proves that not all exits have to be traumatic to be meaningful.

Also, Chuck oozes his love for end-of-time movies. Again.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Prisca was brought up in white, Christian suburbia. At times, her skin contrasted with the world around her. Chuck and Brady talk to Prisca about her experiences in church and how those events made the way for her exit from evangelical Christianity. The three ask this question: Why does it seem that those who claim to have Holy Spirit orchestrating their lives are historically and generally speaking often the last to accept civil rights?

Also, Brady and Prisca retell how they became friends over the message board for Brady’s former cable, Christian sitcom.

TW: A racial slur is used within the context of a true story.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Kristen retells her story of moving across the nation to join a religious community that eroded away her freedoms. After bouncing back from rock bottom, Kristen tells of how she got her life back.

Also, Brady and Kristen reflect on their horrible date from over a decade ago, on which he tried (and failed) to hold her hand in a Wal-mart parking lot.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Curtis G. joins Brady and Chuck to discuss this family’s efforts of “fixing” him by sending him to conversion therapy. He reads from his notes, followed by how he recovered, accepting who he is.

This episode was recorded on the one day that major Christian leader, Eugene Peterson was thought to have come out as pro-gay marriage. The episode ends with Brady’s reflection on the aftermath of that announcement and almost immediate retraction.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

NSFW Warning: The episode ends with two, wonderfully NSFW stories from Renée’s deconstruction story archives about her exploration of sexuality.

Our hilarious, mutual friend, Renée, joins us in the studio to reflect on the indoctrination she experienced growing up as a precocious, thoughtful child. We talk about the fears we had as Christian children and how we grew as we left Church culture in the areas of sexuality, social justice, and more. We discuss the regrets we have by making decisions that were heavily influenced by a faith we no longer hold on to and how the ripples of those decisions still affect us. This episode describes the mindf*ck so many people encounter as they work on ridding themselves of indoctrination.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Chuck and Brady interview a new friend they met purely because of the show, Joey Hill. Joey shares his story of overcoming a gauntlet of obstacles after leaving harmful religion. Determined to keep going, Joey found a unique way to shape his future… but it didn’t go as planned. Brady and Joey discuss how hard it is to bounce back from leaving religion, especially for those who built their futures around plans of being in the ministry. But over time, Joey found his footing and kept going and going and...

After their interview with Joey, Chuck and Brady take time to reflect on what the first season of the podcast has meant to them, sandwiched by audio messages left by the wonderful listeners.

TW: This episode mentions a suicide attempt, birth trauma

She started off Southern Baptist. Then she was Charismatic. And now, she’s with the Breakfast Church, a weekly group at her house of other people deconstructing their faith (their only doctrine is to eat breakfast, joke about their old lives, and drink mimosas).

On this episode, Chuck and Brady talk to their new friend, Jessie W. She was the “bad girl” at her Christian college before she met her future ex-husband and started to attend a Charismatic church together. After a few weird experiences, she wanted to learn more about the power of the Holy Spirit and trained to use the gift of prophecy. As the years went on, Jessie’s life is filled with tragedy after tragedy. After two very complicated pregnancies and a suicide attempt of a close family member, she asked: “why me?”

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Have you recovered what oppressive religion took from you?

When Kendal came out as a lesbian, her life never could be the same again. She was once heavily involved in her church’s youth group, but she was banned from being alone with teenagers because of prejudice against her sexuality. This rejection and feelings of purposelessness drove her to alcoholism, a common path for LGBT+ people who have to face the shame their faith communities place on them.

Kendal joins Chuck and Brady in the studio to discuss how shame is often used by religion to gain and keep followers and how AA changed saved her life. Through the program and hard work, she recovered what oppressive religion took from her.

 

Addition Resource: DrugRehab.com: They provide information, resources, and treatment for people battling addiction and related conditions.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

On this episode of The Life After, we are talking with our friend, Verdell Wright. Verdell is a theology nerd in the purest sense. Boasting theology degrees from Rutgers, Howard and Wesley Theological Seminary. Verdell is also black, and gay. Put all those things together, along with a very intelligent and well conceived deconstruction and you get a powerful thinker, writer, and advocate. Verdell very recently published a piece for for the Black Youth Project about how he went from being a sought after minister to leaving the Christian faith. Or, pushing beyond the Christian faith as he likes to put it. In our interview with Verdell, we cover everything from the problem of theodicy, to coming out, to what it’s like to be the token Black guy in a quote ‘progressive’ white church.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

Singer, Activist Jamar Rogers joins Brady to deconstruct his radiant LIFE AFTER repressing his queerness, receiving a positive HIV diagnosis, appearing on American Idol & The Voice, and learning to silence his inner critic so he could return back to himself.

Jamar shares passionate wisdom on how representing real-life experiences does more for the greater good than advertising for "God."

 

Get Jamar's single Flow wherever you purchase music | Follow Jamar: 📷@jamarrogersofficial 🐦@JSuidward 👍@JamarRogersTheVoice

 

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In this episode, Brady and guest Erin discuss fatphobia, eating disorder recovery, and embodiment.

 

If you'd like to donate to Brady's GoFundMe for expenses related to his family's legal battle and more, please visit https://gofund.me/13befd41 or email him at bradyhardin@gmail.com for direct donations or with interview connections. All help is appreciated!

 

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The Life After Podcast Hosts, Chuck Parson (R) and Brady Hardin (L), take a pause on their backlog of upcoming episodes to have a special, no-guest episode to address Coronavirus.

 

In this episode, they discuss:

-how to keep End-Time anxiety at bay during current events -recommendations for staying busy -grieving -meaning-making -Chuck says "fuzzy red balls" and Brady doesn't laugh -Plus A LOT more!

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

 CW: This episode includes mentions of race-based physical abuse, racial slurs, sexual abuse, and mention of childhood violence.

Carrie Maya, calling from Australia, opens up to Chuck and Brady about her life after leaving a high-demand Charismatic community, spiritual abuse, and life-long conditioning to submit to authority.   A very tumultuous childhood and extreme Fundamentalism positioned Carried to be victimized by self-seeking authoritative voices. First, it was family. Then her pastor. And finally, an intimate partner. Carrie retells how she changed the narrative and discovered help in finding spirituality outside of Christianity.   To learn more about Carrie and her book, visit her insta @Hexvangelical.   Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg  

Rev. Dr. Sheri Pallas (activist, ally) joins the show to discuss "God" (and why she uses quotes), how an injustice done by a church toward her family pushed her to care deeply about religion, and her perspective on Deconstruction Culture as someone who left fundamentalism years ago ("deconstruction legacy," I'm calling it 😉).

Find Sheri's website at sheripallas.com and her YouTube channel at youtube.com/FiresideCreators.

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

Welcome to The Life After Podcast Season 3!

Chuck Parson joins the show one last time as co-host to catch up, announce his departure, and tease his next steps.

Stay tuned this season of The Life After Podcast for more important conversations with courageous people about deconstructing Christian beliefs!

 

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Links for connecting with The Life After Community (secret Facebook Group), rating, reviewing, and/or subscribing on iTunes can be found here: linktr.ee/thelifeafter

CW: Spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse toward someone who is differently-abled and mention of suicide attempt

Dustin VanDyke (featured on HBO's We're Here Season Two finale) is differently-abled and trans. Dustin was restricted from being themselves while in an abusive home, but now they are free to be who they are while inspiring others who lack representation.

 

Follow Dustin's YouTube and Facebook.

 

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Vi La Bianca (Skeptic Generation co-host) joins Brady to deconstruct reason's relationship with mental health, rapture anxiety, being neurodiverse, and how to set boundaries with people AND beliefs.

With Special Intermission Interview Guest, Sherman the Dog from Adventures in Odyssey.

 

Find Vi's work with Skeptic Generation at SkepticGeneration.com | Follow Vi on Twitter on @AuthorConfusion

 

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Ronna Russell joins Chuck and Brady to discuss her life after strict Pentecostalism and oppressive Purity Culture. Her saucy memoir, The Uncomfortable Confessions Of a Preacher's Kid, tells her story of not fitting into Christian culture's idea of what a woman should be and how she found her true self instead.

The episode begins with advice on how to safely set-up a sexual encounter through an app and other advice for those dipping their toes into the sexual waters. Episode ends with practice guidelines for writing about your experience when it includes harmful actions from family members.

Connect with Ronna and buy her book at https://ronnarussell.com.

CW: Some mentions of sexual abuse

 

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Denver-based counselor and coach, Suandria Hall, joins Chuck and Brady to unpack her Life After.

Suandaria's father was a preacher. So much of her life was entrenched in church culture, filled with rules and expectations. After learning beyond what the Bible could offer, she became interested in why people do what they do. She landed on counseling with an emphasis on religious trauma. Though her religious trauma experience didn't begin until leaving the community, she became a mental health provider for those leaving the faith. She helps people set boundaries, have healthier relationships with forgiveness, and become empowered to be who they are without indoctrinated expectations.

In this episode, they also discuss:

• what it means to be "trauma-informed"
• growing up in a black church community
• forgiveness culture
• why it's okay not to forgive and forget
• community building after church

To get in touch with Suandaria, visit her website, mychoicemypower.com.

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

Spiritual and leadership coach Taj M. Smith joins Brady to deconstruct Queer Theology, transitioning, and how his love for sci-fi shapes his outlook of the future. They also discuss the Star Trek Next Generation episode, Darmok.

 

With Special Intermission Interview Guest, "Angel" from Netflix's Midnight Mass

 

Find Taj's work here at tajmsmith.com

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

CW: Anorexia  Chuck and Brady are joined by Laura M, who opens up about her childhood struggling in silence with a Fundamentalism-fueled eating disorder.   Laura, like many women raised in Christianity, was taught to be silent and smaller. When tragedy struck her family, she developed anorexia out of a need to be seen and to have a feeling of control in a time of uncertainty. The eating disorder became increasingly dangerous, leaving her with the ultimatum: Get well or risk death within 28 days.   Listen to Laura's inspiring story of how she gained her life after toxic religion and anorexia with the help of professional therapy. The episode begins with Chuck and Brady's practical mental health advice.   To learn more about eating disorders or to find support, resources, and treatment options for yourself or a loved one, visit, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org.

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Connect with the Life After Podcast & Community here: linktr.ee/thelifeafter

 

Victoria Lynn Myers (model) joins Chuck and Brady to unpack her life after!

She grew up in a very strict, Independent Baptist home with many, many rules, but Victoria noticed she didn't value the beliefs over her experience like those around her. When her church community showed obsessions with modesty, she knew there were still horrible sexual abuse occurring.

Her world turned up-side down when Victoria had an empowering sexual experience with someone of the same gender, an act her community strictly forbade as shameful and wrong. That wasn't Victoria's experience, and she wasn't set on reading from their script. Instead, she left the shelter of her family and church community to experience the world that she was conditioned to fear. When she faced difficulties on her own, including sexual abuse, she had to lean on herself and pulled through victoriously.

Listen to Victoria's brave story of overcoming oppression and showing her true self to the world.

Visit Victoria's website here: victorialynnmyers.com

 

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Julianne King (Poet and old friend of Brady) deconstructs her LIFE AFTER spiritual abuse with intensely manipulative church leaders. A major event occurred while in the youth group and another afterward. Also, Julianne shares her theory about how the musical Cats represents Evangelicalism.

 

Find Julianne's book of poetry, Bible Belt Revolution, on Amazon

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

With one more new episode left in 2021, here's a classic episode with Jamie Lee Finch and my former co-host Chuck Parson. Before the new episode, if you're able, check out the Season Two finale of We're Here on HBO. My next guest is Dustin VanDyke and was featured in that episode. You won't want to miss this!

 

Unbuckling The Bible Belt: Brady Hardin and Chuck Parson takes the show on the road to Nashville, TN to interview Jamie Lee Finch on the subjects of sexuality, the dangers of Purity Culture, and the downfalls of Patriarchy. Jamie describes how much of her journey after leaving religion involves understanding her body. She gives life-changing advice on how to become a whole person and heal from trauma.

Bonus: Listen to Jamie reading her own original poems throughout the episode.

To learn more about Jamie’s work, follow her on Twitter, @jamieleefinch or visit her website: jamieleefinch.com

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Counselor ("counsellor" for the Canucks) Janice Selbie joins Chuck and Brady for a insightful, practical conversation on grieving God.

Janice came from a ultra-Fundamentalism background that became hyper-charged after marrying her now ex-husband. While working at a bookstore, she befriended a group of Mennonite (Anabaptist) women and began wearing head coverings like they did out of a obedience to the Bible.

Around the time of her divorce, Janice encountered traumas that shook her from her cognitive dissonance, and she left the faith. Next, she pursued a counselor degree, met Dr. Marlene Winell, and now specializes in freeing people from the mental grips of Fundamentalism.

 

In this episode, Janice shares practical ways to recover from religion healthily, the importance of rituals to symbolize the end of one's Fundamentalism, and how cognitive behavioral therapy can be very useful.

Janice is organizing the first-of-its-kind Conference on Religious Trauma in Vancouver from April 24-26, 2020.

Visit CORT2020.com to learn more! Learn about Janice's online workshop, Divorcing Religion at divorcingreligion.com.

 

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Content Warning: This episode includes mentions of sexually predatory behavior and the retelling of a racial, anti-fatness comment

 

Emily Dukes joins The Life After to tell how her love for Christian fiction put her on the path to be groomed (use of privileged relationships to normalize exploiting a young person's body) by novelist Ted Dekker, what she's discovered about herself, and how she's pushing back.

 

This episode begins with Brady retelling his experience of being groped by a trusted church friend during the beginning of his deconstruction.

 

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

Elle Reneé of St. Louis Chapter of Black Nonbelievers joins Chuck and Brady in the studio.

  Elle's step father was a pastor for multiple churches of varying denominations and current pastor of a nondenominational church, and some of their church services would go all day long. All of this made church a very foundational part of Elle's childhood. Along with the good side of closely-knit church communities also brought the bad, including lot of unwanted touch.   Elle got married during the same week she graduated high school and turned 18. After two failed marriages, she learned to stand up for herself. As she started to pull away from the faith, many church people would report back to her family. She set boundaries to protect herself and hasn't looked back since.   Chuck and Elle share experiences of being People of Color, and in the finale segment, Brady and Elle discuss parenting after religion.   Elle is the Chief Organizer of the St. Louis Chapter of Black Nonbelievers, a friendly, informative secular community connecting People of Color (and allies). Learn more on their website, blacknonbelievers.com.

 

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Katie and Joe Bauer, married and newly-deconstructing, join Chuck and Brady to discuss campus ministries, speaking in tongues, questioning the faith, critically examining if they were brainwashed, not wanting to lose their faith, doubling down on doubt with service, the complex feelings of realizing Fundamentalism isn't real, and how deconstruction has touched their marriage.

 

Here is a link to the Reddit Post mentioned in the show: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueAtheism/comments/2v36v9/in_response_to_the_pastor_looking_for_honest/

 

Find Katie and Joe's podcast, Born Again Again, where they discuss their deconversion as it's happening here: linktr.ee/bornagainagain

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Guest Nikki Mayeux joins Chuck and Brady to dish on reality house dramas🔥, childhood religious OCD and anxiety😟, intrusive thoughts😵, contact evangelism🏈, inner voice♾️, faith deconstructing while married👫, and intentional communities 🗑️ (Crust Punks for Jesus?)!   Episode begins with a timely message to women from Chuck.   Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Renowned cult deprogrammer and expert Rick Alan Ross Ross joins Chuck, Brady and special guest host Corey Pigg (Season 1, Episode 20, host of Failed Missionary) to discuss the everything related to harmful cult communities. From how to define a cult and how they work, to assessing what is and isn’t a cult, to discussions about the effects of cults on politics and popular culture. Ross is a dynamic thinker, a clear communicator, and a true expert in his field.

Rick Alan Ross is the author of Cults Inside Out, the founder and executive director of the Cult Education Institute (culteducation.com), has acted as an expert cult consultant for everything from best-selling video game Far Cry 5, to Television and Movies. Rick has intervened in over 500 deprogramming cases aimed at getting people out of dangerous cults.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Sheri invited me to be on her YouTube Channel, FireSide Creators, alongside Catherine Wilcox, who has an M.A. in English Rhetoric and has researched the role of storytelling as a healing and community-building practice for individuals recovering from religious abuse and trauma.

Here's the audio from that conversation as a special bonus before next Thursday's episode!

Find Sheri's website at sheripallas.com and her YouTube channel at youtube.com/FiresideCreators.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Alice Grecyzn (actress and upcoming author) re-joins Chuck and Brady to update her life since the recording of the last episode months and months ago.

 

Follow her important work helping deconstructors at www.daretodoubt.org.

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Alice Grecyzn (actress and upcoming author) joins Chuck and Brady to discuss her life after homeschooling as a PK, the Toronto Blessing (a charismatic movement in the 90's), and an almost-wedding pressured upon her by prophecy.

 

Follow her important work helping deconstructors at www.daretodoubt.org.

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

TW: This episode includes mentions of sexual abuse, extreme spiritual abuse, and a suicide attempt.

Angie Jay, spiritual abuse survivor and political activist, joins Chuck and Brady to share her horrifying Evangelical experience when she served as a missions intern at the age of 18. Far from home and family, the missions organization leadership forced her to describe -- in mixed company and with great detail -- the long history of sexual abuse she had experienced, which started when she was only 2, in order to "heal." When the leaders felt Angie wasn't responding to their abusive counsel in the way they wanted, the main male leader took the situation to a horrifying new level. Her told her the sexual abuse left a demon in her that he needed to remove. And, without her consent, that's what he attempted to do.

The complex nightmare continues when she returned home and much of her home church leadership believed her abusers over her or showed her no empathy.

Listen to see how Angie discovered a better life after on this episode of The Life After Podcast, hosted by Chuck Parson and Brady Hardin.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

For this very special Thanksgiving episode, my ex-wife Jessi McCracken joins the show to deconstruct her high-pressure charismatic upbringing, the saga of our marriage and divorce, how Purity Culture sets unhealthy relationship expectations, coming out as queer, the life-altering power of therapy, co-parenting while deconstructing, and how chosen families become so important as we evolve into who we truly are.

 

Our 9-year-old son, Helo, stops by to say hello during the introduction and is my guest spotlighted in this episode's Special Intermission Interview!

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Dave Warnock shares with Chuck and Brady about facing his mortality after leaving Christianity and being diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease. He's creating new meaningful relationships and learning to savor the moments of life as an Atheist.   They also discuss the pretzels they twisted themselves in to justify Biblical language, whether Dave's illness would make him want to go back, Christians who gaslight by saying people who left weren't really Christians, and finding new community that will last until the end.   Episode begins with Chuck addressing a common issue people leaving dogma face, the lingering fear of hell. Stepping away from religion doesn't alway get rid of the conditioned anxiety and fear of eternal punishment, but Chuck lays out a compelling case for dismissing that concern by using the Bible. You won't want to miss it.   Dave is touring from secular group to humanist church to speak on his life motto of "Carpe Fucking Diem." The juxtaposition of his inspirational outlook and somber situation is allowing many to see how people without belief in God can face mortality with unflinching optimism, sensibility, and humor --- surrounded by people who love them (and don't have an agenda).   Keep up with Dave here: daveoutloud.com | Support Dave here: patreon.com/dyingoutloud   Episode Content Warning: lots of language, death, Bible verses   Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

After a break lasting over a year and a half, Michelle joins Brady to discuss deconstructing neurodiversity and eating disorder recovery.

 

If you'd like to donate to Brady's GoFundMe for expenses related to his family's legal battle and more, please visit https://gofund.me/13befd41 or email him at bradyhardin@gmail.com for direct donations or with connections to other podcasts.

 

Bookended with music by Nightlightr (CDBaby, iTunes, and Spotify) | Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Cass Midgley, former pastor and a host of Everyone's Agnostic Podcast, joins Chuck and Brady to discuss his faith deconstruction, how he found his co-host, blind spots developed from being brought up in Patriarchy, turning from Presbyterian to Baptist, the slippery slopes of allowing yourself to examine doubts, and rebuilding of community. "Mark Driscoll is the Dane Cook of the Evangelicalism." CW: Brady sings the AWANA theme. And lots of F-bombs.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Blake Chastain of #Exvangelical Podcast joins Chuck and Brady to discuss his life after.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Corey Pigg joins Brady and Chuck to discuss his experiences as a full-time missionary with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) that made way for his exit from toxic religion.

Corey has started his own podcast, which focuses on the dark underbelly of modern missions. He is joined by ex-missionaries to discuss what it means to be “called, not qualified” in an industry full of manipulation, crushed dreams, and abuses of power. Learn about what he is doing at failedmissionary.com.

 

The Life After Podcast and Community | Live Real-Life We Hold Space for Those Leaving Their Faith in a Secret Facebook Group and Slack Channel. thelifeafter.org

Last season, Chuck and Brady spoke with Curtis, who lived through gay conversion therapy. This season, a former leader of Love in Action (gay conversion therapy) and author, Tim Rymel, tells his experience.

TW: This episode can be triggering for those who had to disassociate from their sexuality to survive in Evangelical envirnoments and others.

Tim promoted the notorious gay conversion therapy organization he helped organize and led. But over the years, he realized that the organization wasn't honest. His inquisitive mind compelled him to keep asking questions and not making excuses when there was no good answer to be found. In addition to leaving Love in Action, Tim eventually left the faith he always knew.

But that is where he found himself.

 

The episode includes several gripping coming out stories.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Dr. Marlene Winell (human development consultant, educator, and writer) joins Chuck and Brady to discuss her life-changing book, "Leaving the Fold," and her ground-breaking research on Religious Trauma Syndrome.

They discuss how and why people are often trapped in Christian Fundamentalism and most importantly, how to break free and recover.

Visit Marlene's website to learn more about Religious Trauma Syndrome, to purchase your copy of "Leaving the Fold," and to sign up for one of her up-coming weekend retreats for people recovering from oppressive religion: https://journeyfree.org

 

Happy Deconstructing!

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Doug Demick joins Chuck and Brady to discuss his past with Wycliffe Bible Translators, not wanting to preach the Gospel as a Christian, rapture anxiety, marriage while deconstructing, his brush with missions, being more free to love people post-fundamentalism, and how seeking the Holy Spirit and FreeCell Solitaire led to his exit from Fundamentalism.   Episode begins with Brady explaining why Heaven and Hell would be an absolute administrative nightmare.   Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg  

Some people don't fit into the boxes. Katelyn Boyles (she/them/he) joins Chuck and Brady to tell their story of self-discovery after living in a home plagued by rigid Fundamentalism. Now married and practicing ethical polyamory, Katelyn encapsulates the importance of living with authenticity.

 

Connect with the Life After Podcast & Community here: linktr.ee/thelifeafter

Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward, joins the show to discuss how deconstructing parents can pass values to their children without relying on fear and indoctrination.

Find out more about Cindy's work, including her book and podcast, on her website, cindywangbrandt.com.

 

Connect with the Life After Podcast & Community here: linktr.ee/thelifeafter

 

Special Show Note: 

We apologize to our friend, Chrissy Stroop, for using the incorrect pronouns in the last episode. Since we had recorded the episode in May, Chrissy has begun transitioning and prefers she/her pronouns. At the time of the recording, they/them were preferred.

We fully support and affirm Chrissy. Read more about her inspiring journey here:

http://ow.ly/ar3350vj4ug

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Andrew Jasko (lifeafterdogma.org) joins Chuck and Brady. He tells his story growing up passionate about Christian Fundamentalism and leaving it all behind. They discuss the Charismatic Movement, damage of sexual repression, the mind-blowing origins of Yahweh and El, how humans respond to suffering, and how the Bible seems to have been pieced together as a response to societal trauma.

Andrew ends by talking about the healing he is finding in psychedelics, meditation, and Eastern Spirituality.

Andrew's Story: Andrew's father was an Assembly of God pastor. Before he was born, Andrew was prophesied to be a spiritual warrior. As he grew up, he planned to win 1,000,000,000 souls to Jesus. His whole life pointed toward a future as a pastor or missionary. He got a Theology degree from Wheaton College and worked on another at Princeton. He had plans to go to India and start saving the world. But things weren't adding up.

A faith that promised joy was exhausting him. His doubts got louder, but most of all, he clearly saw how the faith, despite its use of language about peace, produced never-ending anxiety.

Andrew reluctantly studied and gave air to his doubts. Though losing one's faith feels like dying, he kept going. Driven to improve his mental health, he sought to understand how the faith kept him for so long and how he can heal.

Understanding how humans respond to trauma changed his life. He saw similar patterns in the Bible's history. Psychedelics and Eastern Spirituality gave him a new sense of purpose and understanding his life after dogma. He writes about spiritual healing on his blog and coaches others to heal from spiritual trauma.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Derek Webb was the lead vocalist for Caemond's Call, a folk/rock band that was wildly popular within Evangelicalism in the early 2000's, before recording solo albums. Known for pushing against the status quo of Christian culture, Derek created a large fanbase of Christians who left like they were on the fringes of their culture. But he had an affair that brought huge life changes. Washington Post, Relevant Magazine, and Huffington Post all wrote articles about his divorce. Also during this time, he examined his beliefs to see if they still held up.

His beliefs didn't survive, but his love for looking at the world and describe it through music remained. He released an album that focused on what he calls his two divorces, one from his ex-wife and the other from God. Many fans, old and new, look at his music as a soundtrack for their faith deconstruction because they see their own pain in Derek's vulnerability found in his music. Others find themselves disappointed that he left the Christianity he was so vocal in supporting years ago. On his podcast, The Airing of Grief, his fans (past and/or present) share their opinions on him, his music, and his unbeliefs.

Derek doesn't just put emphasis on faith deconstruction. He also encourages his fans and listeners to focus on rebuilding more-enriched lives after leaving oppressive religion by finding freedom where there once was guilt and shame.

Chuck and Brady chatted with Derek about investigating long-held belief systems, and he explained how morality means more to him after leaving the faith than it did beforehand. He frankly addresses his affair the eventually ended his marriage and described how the weight of his actions didn't fully affect him until after exiting Christianity.

Lastly, he tackled some major questions Exvangelicals reflect on. What is the source of post-faith morality? How do we explain the seemingly supernatural experiences we felt while in the faith? With God out of the picture, how do we lean on our intuition after years of trying to silence it?

The answer to the last one may surprise you.

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

 

Grammy-nominated songwriter, author, and advocate Jennifer Knapp joins the show to discuss coming out, liberal Christianity, and her music career.

Jennifer Knapp runs Inside Out Faith, a non-profit focused on confronting non-affirming churches to encourage more inclusive faith communities. Her memoir, “Facing the Music: My Story,” is available on Amazon, and she is promoting her newest album “Love Comes Around,” which can be found on Spotify, Apple Music, and wherever you stream music. For more information, you can visit her website: Jenniferknapp.org.

The Life After Podcast and Community | We hold space for people leaving Christian Fundamentalism.

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg

Nightlightr (Leighton Pustejovsky, rap artist)​ cuts loose with Chuck and Brady about leaving Christian Fundamentalism after decades of repressing his homosexuality. The three discuss how they had reframed their sexualities to fit within the faith and how discussions on the "unchanging" characteristics of God didn't fit their experiences.   Leighton masterfully wrote (and produced) a rap album that nails deconstruction and living honestly as gay.   Find Unloose by Nightlightr now on CDBaby, iTunes and Spotify.   CW: Description of sexual assault (non-violent)       Connect with the Life After Podcast & Community here: linktr.ee/thelifeafter

Fan-favorite Jamie Lee Finch returns to the show! She joins Chuck and Brady to discuss her new book on Religious Trauma Syndrome from Christian Evangelicalism, "You are Your Own."  They discuss her experience writing, the unresolved trauma held by our bodies, instilled fear of hell, needs they had as Evangelical children, generational responses to Fundamentalism, cycles that keep people locked in the faith, wanting to die for a cause (thanks, Jesus Freaks!), healing through storytelling, and how trauma responses manifested recently in the post-evangelical online community. 

Visit Jamie's website to buy "You Are Your Own" as an ebook or audiobook: https://jamieleefinch.com

 

Find links for The Life After Community (our secret Facebook group), subscribing, rating, and/or reviewing on iTunes here: linkin.bio/thelifeafterorg