The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos (Pushkin Industries)

People who live in some places are happier than others. But if you move to a happy country, happy city or happy district, will it make you feel better? And what can do if you can't uproot from your current home, can you make sad spaces happier?  

Dan Buettner introduces us to his "Blue Zones", and explains why these places score so highly in wellbeing surveys. Helen Russell tells her story of moving to one of the happiest nations on earth...in bleak midwinter. And Texan Jason Roberts admits he had to break the city laws to make his neighborhood in Dallas a bit nicer. 

For further reading: 

Helen Russell - The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World's Happiest Country.

Dan Buettner - The Blue Zones of Happiness: Lessons From the World's Happiest People.

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To mark the podcast's fifth birthday, Dr Laurie is revisiting some of her favorite episodes. And this show - Working Your Way to Happiness - has a special place in her heart.  

Marty kills rats... but if you asked him what his job is he'd say it was "solving problems" and "helping people". How we view our work can contribute greatly to our daily levels of happiness - far more than money or status.

Dr Laurie examines how we all came to ignore the importance of job satisfaction and hears from Professor Amy Wrzesniewski about "job crafting" - the reframing skill that happy people like Marty use to see their careers as more than just a way to make money.

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The Covid pandemic has robbed us of many rituals and ceremonies we took for granted - from simple handshakes to elaborate graduation ceremonies. Their loss is important - rituals contribute to our happiness in so many ways. Something the ancient Chinese teacher Confucius contemplated deeply.

Harvard professor Peter Bol (who teaches ChinaX at edx.org) explains why Confucius thought that ritual behaviours can bring us and our communities peace and joy - but why we need to create traditions and rules and customs that serve others, not just ourselves.

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Question everything... that's a key insight from the great Greek philosopher Socrates. We may think we know ourselves and what makes us happy... but that's not always true. 

Yale professor Tamar Gendler says that by harnessing our "inner Socrates" we can ask ourselves why we think or feel certain things. We might then find that deeply-held convictions that money or status or accolades are a reliable route to happiness aren't correct, and can then start to pursue the things that might really make us happier.  

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Earth Day is coming on April 22, but the whole month is seen as an opportunity to think about environmental issues and what we as individuals can do to help out. 

It seemed like a good time to rerun an episode we made with Harvard professor Dan Gilbert about why we humans are great at tackling immediate threats, but find it harder to motivate ourselves to address problems that seem a longer way off. It's why we often don't save for our retirements, and why we're finding it difficult to take action on climate change. 

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Sarah Hurwitz worked 24/7 at Harvard, and barely took time off as she built a career in DC writing speeches for first Hillary Clinton and then Michelle Obama. Sarah would even take her cell phone into the shower.

But as she explored the teachings of Judaism, she began to appreciate the vital importance of the commandment to observe a day of rest, and found that sometimes doing less made her happier.

Sarah is author of Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There).

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It's hard to stay hopeful sometimes. Things can look pretty bleak and divided, especially around election time. But if you're losing hope in your fellow humans, stop and listen to the science. Other people are kinder, friendlier and more co-operative than you might think.   

Using insights from his new book Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, Stanford's Jamil Zaki joins Dr Laurie Santos for a special season to show why we shouldn't be so cynical about our fellow citizens and why being more open and trusting can help us live happier and healthier lives. 

The series begins Sept 9.

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A chance to hear a recent episode of A Slight Change of Plans in which Maya Shankar asks psychologist Adam Grant about his new book "Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things". They talk about how to filter out unhelpful feedback, the benefits of imperfectionism, and why we need to give soft skills more respect. 

Listen to more episodes of A Slight Change of Plans  wherever you get your podcasts. 

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The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy. But all too often, the darker, colder days of winter, and even the stress of preparing for the holidays themselves, can lead people to feel something else: rushed, stressed, lonely, or even hopeless. How can you make sure this year is bright?

Dr Laurie joins Dave DeSteno on his show How God Works: The Science Behind Spirituality to unpack the psychological secrets of celebrations from Christmas, to Hanukkah, to Yule, and more. They’ll also discuss how we can put that wisdom into practice, whatever our beliefs, to make this season a happier and healthier one for all.

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Rebecca Kaduru was driving home... then woke up in an ambulance. She'd been in involved in an accident and her face was smashed. Living in Uganda, she struggled to receive appropriate care for her injuries - making her healing process dishearteningly slow and painful. 

It was then that Rebecca stumbled across an episode of The Happiness Lab about JR Martinez - an army veteran badly burned in Iraq. His story brought her comfort and the confidence to keep on her path to recovery. We hear about Rebecca's ordeal and introduce her to JR. 

NEXT TIME: To give you a chance to hear the episode that inspired Rebecca, we'll republish it on The Happiness Lab feed.  

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The Happiness Lab debuted back in fall 2019. To celebrate our fifth birthday, we're revisiting Dr Laurie's favorite shows. We kick off with one from way back. 

Technology allows us to bank, shop and dine without talking to another human, but what toll is this taking on our happiness? So in this episode, the inventor of the ATM and the Talking Heads singer David Byrne joined Dr Laurie to explore the ways in which talking to strangers can bring us all genuine joy.  

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Grief is a simple enough word, but the emotional journey it describes is chaotic, messy and unique to each person. Psychotherapist and bereavement expert Julia Samuel (www.grief-works.app) joins Dr Laurie Santos for the second time to describe strategies which we can all use to help us navigate grief more effectively.

Julia says there is no right or wrong way to mourn a loss - there is no "normal" way to grieve - but there are very simple things we can do each day to listen to our feelings of grief and process them so that we can carry on with our changed lives.

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Author and vlogger John Green looks around the world and sees a lot of things that suck. But rather than giving in to despair, he's trying to develop a sense of hope. He says the most "punk rock" thing to do is tackle our problems head-on. 

John embraces the motto: "Human beings can be good news!" In a live discussion with Dr Laurie, he explains that if we work together we can decrease the suck in the world and increase the awesome. 

This live event marked the publication of John's new book Everything is Tuberculosis - which argues that TB is a global disease that we can conquer right now if we put in a little bit of combined effort.

Happiness Lab listeners have already raised tens of thousands of dollar to fight TB by donating to our appeal at GiveDirectly.org/tb.

Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows. 

Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin
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It's Giving Tuesday - a time when many people donate to charity (using websites like this: givingmultiplier.org/happiness). Giving money to help people makes them feel good, but it can also make you feel great too. Last year, Happiness Lab listeners gave over $100,000 to raise a whole village in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Dr Laurie hears the stories of how we all helped transform lives in Kibobo.  

With the aid of happiness expert, Nick Epley, we explain why helping Kibobo felt so uplifting and how we can make the act of giving a daily happiness habit.   

If you want to donate money to help people in places like Kibobo - or give to any other charity you care to support - go to givingmultiplier.org/happiness.

This episode of The Happiness Lab on the joy of giving is brought to you by the 2024 Subaru Share the Love Event. From now until January 2nd, when you get a new Subaru, Subaru and its retailers will donate a minimum of $300 to charity.

To learn more, go to Subaru.com/share.

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Technology is amazing! We can make video calls, find facts in an instant and watch movies on our phones. We take all this for granted, but have we let our screens and devices take over too much of our lives? 

To mark Digital Wellness Day on May 3, we hear from Amy Blankson (author and "chief evangelist" at the Digital Wellness Institute) about her ten tips to tame our devices at home and in the workplace. 

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You can make yourself happier today. Your life circumstances and personality aren't nearly as important as you think in deciding how happy you can be. Dr Laurie Santos explains how understanding the latest science will point you in the right direction and make you more satisfied with your life. Are you ready to feel better?

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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How can winning the lottery ruin your life - while contracting an incurable disease feel like 'a gift'? Dr Laurie Santos hears about dreams come true and nightmares realised; and talks with Dr Dan Gilbert about why human happiness isn't defined by these major events in the way we all assume.

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm 

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Ice skater Michelle Kwan was all set to win Olympic Gold... but in a major sporting upset she came second. Sharing her story with Dr Laurie Santos, Michelle lets us in on a key secret to achieving happiness when you're tempted to feel like a loser.  

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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Technology allows us to bank, shop and dine without talking to another human, but what toll is this taking on our happiness? The inventor of the ATM and the Talking Heads singer David Byrne join Dr Laurie Santos to explore the ways in which talking to strangers can bring us all genuine joy.  

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit https://www.happinesslab.fm/ 

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Sharing a good experience with another human deepens our enjoyment of the moment... but only if we abide by certain rules. Dr Laurie Santos shows us how we often get 'sharing' wrong and explains how we can all derive more happiness from ice cream, sunsets and a night in front of the TV.

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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Once a thought is in our heads, we can't suppress it and trying to only causes us misery. Dr Laurie Santos explains why our brains work in this way and hears from real people who have confronted and overcome disruptive thoughts and bad memories and found happiness in the process. 

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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We often think positive thinking is the best way to achieve our ambitions - but the science shows it holds us all back. Dr Laurie Santos hears how champion swimmer Michael Phelps imagined the worst to help make his Olympic dreams come true. It's a mental habit that you can learn too.

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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We all make thousands of choices each day - and think it means we're in charge of our lives. But making even trivial decisions - about salad dressings, for example - can sap our energy and cause anxiety. Dr Laurie Santos examines why our society wrongly prioritises choice over happiness, and meets a woman who junked her wardrobe in a bid to improve her life.

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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The world's greatest expert on canned TV laugh tracks helps Dr Laurie Santos demonstrate how the emotions of those around us can make us feel happier or more sad. If happiness is so contagious... can we do more to bring joy to ourselves and our loved ones?

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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From school grades to fitness trackers, we're all being ranked and rated on a daily basis. This is having a huge impact on our happiness and preventing us from living our lives to the fullest. Can giving up on grades radically improve our wellbeing?

For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm

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There are so many happiness lessons to remember - but it helps if we can boil them down into memorable little sayings. Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin has done exactly that in her latest book - Secrets of Adulthood.

Dr Laurie picked twelve of her favorite aphorisms from the book and invited Gretchen along to explore sayings such as “Happiness doesn't always make us feel happy” and “Accept yourself and expect more from yourself”. 

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Many of the most painful or troubling emotions we experience are reactions to events that have actually happened - but one powerful and sometimes paralyzing feeling can be provoked by things as yet to occur. Say hello to anxiety.

Psychotherapist and meditation teacher Andrea Wachter spent much of her life being stalked by the physical and mental manifestations of anxiety - the brain fog and the pit of the stomach dread of something bad looming on the horizon. She's amassed a wealth of strategies to overcome the thoughts and sensations that make up anxiety and she explains them to Dr Laurie Santos.

You can try her meditations and courses on insighttimer.com/andreawachter, and for her books and blogs can be found at www.andreawachter.com

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To improve your life you might decide to prioritize your own personal happiness, or find meaning in helping the people around you. Few of us consider pushing ourselves well beyond our comfort zones. It might take a lot of effort and risks pain or disappointment.   

University of Chicago professor Shige Oishi thinks to live fully we all need to push ourselves to find "psychological richness". He tells Dr Laurie that we should look for daily opportunities to explore, get lost, mess around and have random encounters that challenge our routines and expectations.   

Read more about Shige's work in Life in Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life.

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The Happiness Lab’s Dr. Laurie Santos brings together other Pushkin hosts to mark the International Day of Happiness. Revisionist History’s Malcolm Gladwell talks about the benefits of the misery of running in a Canadian winter. Dr. Maya Shankar from A Slight Change of Plans talks about quieting her mental chatter. And Cautionary Tales host Tim Harford surprises everyone with the happiness lessons to be learned from a colonoscopy.

Hear more of The Happiness Lab HERE.

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You don't need to be 8 feet tall like Big Bird to have big, big feelings. We all experience emotions of excitement, frustration and sadness that feel overwhelming. 

But when Big Bird's fun plans are ruined by rain clouds - Dr Laurie teaches him that there are ways to manage and be prepared for big disappointments and realise that the sun will return soon enough.  

(Sesame Workshop is a non-profit organization with a mission to help kids grow smarter, stronger, and kinder. The work they do is funded by donations big and small - so if you want to become a part of their important work to improve children’s emotional well-being, then visit: sesameworkshop.org/support-us/)

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We're often looking into the future... hunting for the "next big thing". That could be an exciting new job or a new relationship. We can get so fixated with these events and the happiness we hope they'll deliver, that we forget to look for joy right now. 

Actor and author Tony Hale (Veep, The Mysterious Benedict Society, Arrested Development) was always chasing new accomplishments, until he realised he was missing the chance to be happy living in the moment. He used his experience to write one of Dr Laurie Santos's favourite children's books Archibald's Next Big Thing. 

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A lot of the festive events and traditions we look forward to each year will be very different in 2020. Gatherings might be smaller than we'd like... or cancelled altogether. Family tensions might be heightened too. But Dr Laurie Santos has gathered a group of top happiness experts to share their tips, tricks and science-backed strategies to make this holiday season as good as it can be.... and maybe even great.

Joining Laurie for this festive Zoom party are Jamil Zaki from Stanford University, Liz Dunn from the University of British Columbia and Nick Epley from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

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Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun? 

She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.  

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The US is sliding down the world happiness rankings - but it's the unhappiness of young people that's really dragging down the average. What has happened to make Gen Z so sad? And what can be done to turn the situation around?

Jan-Emmanuel De Neve (director of Oxford University’s Wellbeing Research Centre) has been analyzing the figures for the World Happiness Report. He offers advice to young people and parents, and looks at what happy young Lithuanians can teach the rest of the world.

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It's the season of giving: colorful paper and shiny bows, sure, and charitable giving, too. In this special episode, Jacob Goldstein, the host of What's Your Problem, gets smart about donating.

Did you know that spending money on others makes you happier than spending money on yourself? Or that altruistic nerds have discovered four of the most impactful charities in the world (per dollar spent)? Have you ever wondered how poker players think about giving?

Dr. Laurie Santos from The Happiness Lab, Elie Hassenfeld of GiveWell, and Nate Silver and Maria Konnikova from Risky Business talk about how to maximize your giving – and why you’ll be happy you did.

Link to donate: https://givingmultiplier.org/happinesslab

Listen to The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Listen to Risky Business

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Making shows about her own happiness challenges was both fun and instructive for Dr Laurie, but it also took guts to be so vulnerable and open. She later spoke to her close friend at Yale Dr Tamar Gendler about the experience. This private chat threw up lots of interesting insights, so when the duo were asked to speak at the 2024 International Festival of Arts and Ideas... they decided to share parts of that private conversation with the public.  

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Exchanging holiday gifts is supposed to be joyful... but for many of us it is a source of stress, anxiety and hurt feelings. To transform the way you think about the act of giving and receiving presents, Dr Laurie Santos has gathered together the top experts in the field of happiness to share their tips, tricks and science-backed strategies. They even tackle the thorny issue of giving money in lieu of a present - with some surprising conclusions.

Joining Laurie for a festive Zoom party are Jamil Zaki from Stanford University, Liz Dunn from the University of British Columbia and Nick Epley from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

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If you've done something wrong, feelings of guilt can prompt us to apologise, make amends and change our ways. But many of us also feel guilty with little cause. We may think we're bad parents, lazy or incompetent workers, or unreliable partners - all without much evidence that we've done anything wrong.

Life coach Valorie Burton (author of Let Go Of The Guilt: Stop Beating Yourself Up And Take Back Your Joy) felt guilty for combining her career with raising a family - until she started examining the values and assumptions that underpinned these draining feelings. She shares the strategies she developed to separate 'true' guilt from 'false' guilt with Dr Laurie Santos.

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The biggest names in wellness podcasting - "The Titans of Happiness" - come together to talk about the greatest mental health challenges facing us in 2024 and the very simple things we can all do to be happier. 

Joining Dr Laurie Santos for this World Mental Health Day special are: 

Dr Joy Harden Bradford, the clinical psychologist and host of the podcast Therapy for Black Girls.

Gretchen Ruben, the best-selling author, host of Happier with Gretchen Rubin and all-round happiness guru at GretchenRubin.com.

Dan Harris, the former TV news anchor who now fronts 10% Happier with Dan Harris and the online community at Dan Harris.com. 

And since this is an extra special episode, Dr Laurie invited one extra special guest, Sesame Street’s Elmo. 

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To celebrate five years of The Happiness Lab, Dr Laurie has picked out the five episodes she loves the most. And this is a special one - Nerd Out! The Happiness of Being a Fan. 

Really love a TV show; a boyband; a sci fi movie; or a celebrity? We're often too embarrassed to admit adoring some things for fear that we'll be seen as frivolous or childish - but we may be missing out on the happiness benefits that geeking out can bring.   

Dr Laurie explores the joy of fandom with Benedict Cumberbatch obsessive Tabitha Carvan, YA author Jennifer Lynn Barnes and Star Trek actor (and geek-vangelist) Wil Wheaton. 

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Diets and "healthy" eating fads are a January fixture - but few of us stick to these harsh regimes. And when the dieting ends, we often go back to the "bad" foods we craved during our fasting.

Psychotherapist Andrea Wachter says this dieting "roller coaster" makes our minds obsess over food and causes our bodies no end of harm. Andrea stepped off the roller coaster by taking a kinder and calmer approach to the foods she consumed. She tells Dr Laurie Santos the key rule - feed yourself like you'd feed someone you love.

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Following 9/11, Simran Jeet Singh's Sikh family in Texas was subjected to extreme racist abuse. And yet, Simran's father chose to look on the bright side and offer thanks instead for the acts of kindness friends and neighbors showed them. How was such optimism possible?

Simran - author of The Light We Give: How Sikh Wisdom Can Transform Your Life - explains how practicing positive habits and living by our values as often as we can will really help when a crisis arises.  

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Miroslav Volf teaches at Yale Divinity School - and is celebrated for his work on reconciliation and forgiveness. But book learning alone does not explain this focus.

Miroslav’s brother was killed in a childhood accident, and the Volf family’s journey through misery and hatred finally ended in a powerful act of forgiveness inspired by Christian teachings. He tells Dr Laurie Santos how seeking to "unglue" the deed from the doer is a gift we can give others and ourselves.

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Oprah Winfrey and Arthur Brooks want you to be happier - so the TV megastar and the Harvard academic teamed up to write a book setting out the steps you can take to be a little happier each day. 

Over the summer, Dr Laurie Santos read Build the Life You Want, the Art and Science of Getting Happier and loved it. So she recorded a conversation with Arthur touching on how his son found meaning in the marine corps; why you should remove the all mirrors from your home; and whether happiness experts can ever be happy themselves.  

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Recovering from a car crash that smashed her face, listener Rebecca Kaduru stumbled across an episode of The Happiness Lab in which we interviewed wounded Iraq veteran JR Martinez. His story brought Rebecca great solace in her own painful journey to recovery.

Following our recent show talking to Rebecca, we wanted to give you a chance to hear the episode which so touched her - The Unhappy Millionaire - in which we examine the "psychological immune system" that help humans overcome even the toughest experiences.  

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Jessica Pan hated social gatherings - she cried when her friends threw her a surprise birthday party, and was even too scared to give a speech at her own wedding. Jessica was a hardcore introvert - and it was making her sad.  

Extroverts find it easier to experience the joy that comes with social interactions - but that doesn't mean introverts are doomed to lives that lack such fun. Jessica read some research that suggested introverts can learn to enjoy being more outgoing - so decided to turn her social life around. 

You can read more of Jessica's story in her book: Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come:  One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes. She is posting updates from her year of extroverting at her Substack, "It'll Be Fun, They Said"  (https://jesspan.substack.com/).

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We always face problems and setbacks - but the coronavirus has dramatically upended many of our lives in a few short weeks. Allowing sadness, anger or fear to dominate us does little to help. We should instead learn from the Greek Stoics - philosophers who embraced challenges with humor, grace and perspective.

Bill Irvine (author of The Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher's Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient) explains some simple ways that you can train yourself to reduce negative emotions and put on your "game face" when you find obstacles in your path.

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In normal times our minds can be filled with unhelpful thoughts, but during this crisis you might be finding it even harder to calm your anxious internal monologue. Meditation could be helpful.

Dan Harris (host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast) had a panic attack while reading the news live on ABC - and found that meditating brought him a calm he'd never previously known. He tells Dr Laurie Santos how we can all use simple meditations to help us and our families during the pandemic.

The show includes a guided meditation from Dr Santos.

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College student Liam Elkind studied happiness in the class taught by Dr Laurie Santos. When the Covid 19 crisis hit, he knew exactly what to do to fight the negative emotions this pandemic arouses in us all - he helped set up a volunteer group called Invisible Hands to support vulnerable neighbors.

Compassion expert David DeSteno explains why helping others can improve our own wellbeing while protecting us from emotional burnout. And with a guided meditation Dr Santos shows that compassion is thing we can nurture and develop.

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The health of our romantic relationships is in peril thanks to the many stresses and strains of the pandemic lockdown. Couples might be facing huge emotional and financial challenges at the same time as being tightly confined to their homes. But psychologist Eli Finkel (author The All-or-Nothing Marriage) says there are ways to weather the crisis without destroying your partnership - and there might even be opportunities to hit the reset button and address problems that in normal times you just let slide.

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Many people seek Laurie's advice on how to be happier despite this awful pandemic. Prof Katy Milkman invited Laurie to appear on the Choiceology podcast to talk about the things she is doing personally to optimise her happiness amid the fear and stress. We thought we'd share Katy's interview with you so you can hear Laurie on the other side of the microphone for a change.

(Choiceology is an original podcast from Charles Schwab. Dr Laurie Santos and The Happiness Lab are not affiliated with Schwab and the views expressed may not necessarily reflect those of The Charles Schwab Corporation or its affiliates.)

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The pandemic has us all glued to our smartphones, tablets, laptops and TVs - they give us important information, vital social contact and much needed distraction. But Catherine Price (founder of Screen/Life Balance and author of How To Break Up With Your Phone) shares her tips on how to make sure our new screen habits improve our lockdown lives rather than exacerbate our problems and anxieties.

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The heaviest burden of Covid-19 has fallen on the shoulders of medical staff, first responders and others who care for the sick and vulnerable. These people are saving lives, while putting their own health and mental wellbeing at risk.

Several doctors and nurses have written asking for advice on the small ways they can make their daily lives a little easier to bear. So we asked cardiologist and wellbeing expert Dr Michael Rocha to explain the ways he's preparing for shifts on a Covid ward.

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We often think adding more things to our lives will make us happier - more trips, more activities, more possessions. Sadly our minds find it hard to comprehend that having less and doing less is usually a better option. 

Dr Laurie Santos teams up with economist Tim Harford (host of Cautionary Tales) to examine why we find subtraction so very hard, and share tips for finding happiness by cutting down on our commitments. 

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We’re sharing a bonus episode from another Pushkin podcast, Revisionist History. Revisionist History is Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast about things misunderstood and overlooked. This season, Malcolm’s obsessed with experiments – natural experiments, scientific experiments, thought experiments. In this episode, Revisionist History examines the testimony of 18 men who took part in an astonishing experiment at the University of Minnesota during the Second World War. Revisionist History takes you through the tapes, and asks why people are still arguing over the Minnesota experiment 75 years later.

You can hear more from Revisionist History at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/rhs7?sid=thl

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In the absence of better advice, we learn a lot about love and dating from rom com movies - but is the depiction of relationships in these films leading us in the wrong direction? Let's find out. 

Eli Finkel of Northwestern University and Paul Eastwick from UC Davis are both accomplished relationship experts - but for fun they’ve launched a podcast called Love Factually exploring what the makers of rom coms get right and wrong about how humans really find love. 

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YOU can boost your happiness and transform the lives of people in one African village with a cash gift by going to givedirectly.org/happiness

Giving money to others makes you happier than spending the same cash on yourself. That's been proved by science. But new research also shows that giving people in need cold hard cash is an amazing way to help them improve their lives. We explore why trusting people to help themselves is a cheaper and more effective way to solve poverty - and hear about Kibobo in Rwanda, where any money you donate will have a huge impact.   

Read more about Kibobo at givedirectly.org/happiness  

Former British politician Rory Stewart used to manage billions of dollars in aid money - and like other international donors thought poor people needed to be told what to do with charitable gifts. He was shocked how effective no-strings-attached cash turned out to be, and now promotes "giving directly". He was also surprised how good giving away even small amounts of money made him feel.  

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Who do we volunteer to run a gruelling half-marathon? Who do we expect to give up sugar, or quit drinking? Who do we demand clears out the garage in the middle of summer?

Ourselves. Mean, right?

Turns out we make demands on our future selves that our present selves would think are unrealistic or unreasonable. And the reason we do it is because our minds are really bad at anticipating the wants and needs we'll have in a week, a month, or a year from now. And that harms our happiness. 

Talking before a live audience in Somerville, MA, Dr Laurie Santos and Harvard professor Jason Mitchell explore how we can be kinder to both our present and future selves.   

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It's Happiness Lab's fifth birthday - so as part of the celebration we're playing some of Dr Laurie's favorite episodes. The final selection attracted a lot of downloads when it went out. but also made some people mad. The Introvert's Guide to Extroversion.

Jessica Pan hated social gatherings - she cried when her friends threw her a surprise birthday party, and was even too scared to give a speech at her own wedding. Jessica was a hardcore introvert - and it was making her sad.  

Extroverts find it easier to experience the joy that comes with social interactions - but that doesn't mean introverts are doomed to lives that lack such fun. Jessica read some research that suggested introverts can learn to enjoy being more outgoing - so decided to turn her social life around. 

You can read more of Jessica's story in her book: Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come:  One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes. She is posting updates from her year of extroverting at her Substack, "It'll Be Fun, They Said"  (https://jesspan.substack.com/).

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In Virgil's epic poem, The Aeneid, few Trojans survive the destruction of their city at the hands of their Greek enemies. A prince, Aeneas, leads a band of those fleeing Troy - but the journey is fraught with deadly storms and hungry monsters.  

But Aeneas takes a positive view of the struggles he and the other Trojans face, telling them to be proud of their resilience and courage. With the help of MIT classics professor Stephanie Frampton, Dr Laurie Santos explores how The Aeneid can be read as a tale of post-traumatic growth and how we can sometimes emerge happier and stronger from tragic events.  

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Nobel Peace Prize winners feel burnout too. Malala Yousafzai - who survived an assassination attempted by the Taliban - works tirelessly so that more women and girls can access education. But she often feels guilty at taking time off, but knows she must to avoid burnout. 

She shares her tips with Dr Laurie Santos on how to achieve work/life balance; how to deal with disappointment; and how to build bridges with people we disagree with. 

(Recorded live at Yale's Silliman College.)  

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No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better.

The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. 

Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. 

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Some people ask searching questions and then really listen to the replies. These so-called supercommunicators make great romantic partners, so can anyone learn to be more like them?  

Journalist Charles Duhigg (author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection) was unhappy with how he and his wife were talking, so he studied his mistakes and adopted the habits of supercommunicators. He explains to Dr Laurie Santos how we can all make small changes that will improve our dating and romantic lives. 

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It's never too early or too late to learn how to be happier. Whether you're aged 3, 23 or 103, we've teamed up with our furry friends from Sesame Street to bring you fun and fact-based tips to improve the wellbeing of you and the people around you.   

We begin with Abby Cadabby - a fairy who isn't having such a great day. Her usual spells can't rid her of her "grumpies", so Dr Laurie teaches her the magical effect that being grateful for who and what is around you can have on your mood.   

(Sesame Workshop is a non-profit organization with a mission to help kids grow smarter, stronger, and kinder. The work they do is funded by donations big and small - so if you want to become a part of their important work to improve children’s emotional well-being, then visit: sesameworkshop.org/support-us/)

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Moving more is great for your happiness - but many of us decide to exercise because we're unhappy with our bodies and long to change them. What should be fun and life-enhancing often becomes saturated with self-loathing.

Jessamyn Stanley identified as a "fat and awkward weirdo", who shied away from exercise until she realised that it was her own body-shaming that was holding her back. She tells Dr Laurie Santos how she decoupled her love of yoga from the corrosive idea of transforming her body - and in the process became an inspirational teacher and author for those who think exercise isn't for them.

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Best-selling author John Green wants to see less suck in the world and more awesome - and you can help achieve that right now! John's turned his attention to tuberculosis (TB) - a disease that is fixable and yet still kills millions of people. But you can stop that. 

TB is a disease of poverty - so if you can spare a buck, then you can save lives by donating to GiveDirectly.org/tb

Giving to help others is proven to make us feel happier and more hopeful in tough times, so Dr Laurie will match every dollar up to the first $10,000, and John will match donations up to $10,000 after that. 

It's a bad time for people everywhere - but even a dollar donated at GiveDirectly.org/tb will reduce the suck and increase the awesome. 

John's new book Everything is Tuberculosis is out now.

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It's the International Day of Happiness! It's a chance to talk about happiness and what we can all do to be happier. March 20th also sees the release of the World Happiness Report. A big finding of 2025's report is that more of us are dining alone - and that's bad news. 

The report's editor Jan-Emmanuel De Neve talks us through the stark figures showing that shared meals are in decline - while Dr Anne Fishel of The Family Dinner Project gives us her tips on how to dine better with friends, families and colleagues. 

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More than a third of us admit to having had a spiritual experience. We might have been profoundly moved by a sunset or a painting; or felt that we've connected with our god or with the entire world around us. Such events can be transformative - bringing positive change to our lives and increasing our happiness - but some experiences aren't so great. 

In front of a live audience in Washington DC, David Yaden of Johns Hopkins University tells Dr Laurie Santos about his work examining what effect spiritual experiences have on us and how things like meditation and psychedelic drugs can bring about these powerful transformational episodes.  

David Yaden is the author of: The Varieties of Spiritual Experience: 21st Century Research and Perspectives.

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We react to sadness in a variety of unhelpful ways. We try to suppress it. We experience guilt over it and apologise to the people around us for feeling it. We assume it means we've failed. We even fear it.

But sadness will touch us all - and to be happier and more resilient we need to accept the emotion and work with it to make our lives better. Journalist Helen Russell (author of How to be Sad: Everything I've Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad Better.) joins Dr Laurie Santos to explain why our view of sadness needs to be rehabilitated.

You can purchase her book, How To Be Sad at - https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-to-be-sad-helen-russell?variant=33051661762594 - and follow her @MsHelenRussell on social media platforms. 

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Happiness can be found in unusual places. Dr Laurie Santos returns with a new season that takes us to the fun frontiers of fandom with Star Trek's Wesley Crusher; to the world's happiest country in the depths of winter; and inside the ranch that inspired The Grateful Dead's Mickey Hart to exclaim "YOLO!".  

And you'll hear what it's like to chug the hottest hot sauce on the planet to get a rush of pleasure. 

The Happiness Lab Returns September 6 - wherever you get your podcasts. 

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Dr Laurie was invited by her pal Gretchen Rubin to appear on a special edition of the More Happier podcast to examine friendship. 

The two old friends were joined in their discussion by a new friend, Reshma Saujani (founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First and host of the podcast My So-Called Midlife). 

The trio talked about how our friendships change over time, how to handle conflict, and how to make new friends in adulthood. 

Listen to Gretchen's show Happier with Gretchen Rubin and More Happier - and Reshma's My So-Called Midlife - wherever you get your podcast

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We're distrustful, unequal and isolated. That's according to the figures showing a decline in happy community feeling since the 1960s. But can we do anything to regain the healthier communal lives enjoyed by many of our parents, grandparents or great-grandparents?

We talk to a hopeful trio - an economist, a political scientist and a US senator - about how we can reduce social isolation, temper political division and prioritize the kind of mixing and meeting that makes neighbors into friends.   

Further reading:  

Robert Putnam Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community and The Upswing: How America Came Together a Century Ago and How We Can Do It Again. 

Lord Richard Layard Can We Be Happier? Evidence and Ethics and Wellbeing: Science and Policy (co-authored by Jan-Emmanuel De Neve).

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Psychologist and writer Adam Grant used every second of his day to the fullest... until he was struck by feelings of emptiness and stagnation. His sleep patterns changed, his productivity dipped, he found himself breaking his own rules by aimlessly watching Netflix. Adam decided this listless middle ground between depression and flourishing was "languishing" and he needed to escape it fast.

The author of the #1 NYT bestselling book Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know (www.adamgrant.net/thinkagain), and host of TED's Work Life podcast (https://tedtalks.social/WLAdam) says we ignore this "meh" feeling at our peril and explains how he fought back against languishing...with a game of Mario Kart.

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Enjoy this episode of another show you might like: the Build the Life You Want Super Soul Podcast. Oprah and Arthur Brooks offer listeners a better understanding of the science behind happiness and why Arthur says, “Happiness is not a destination, happiness is a direction.” Together, they take questions from people across the country who have read Build the Life You Want and are curious how to apply topics from the book to their own lives. They discuss the “The Four Pillars of Happiness: Faith, Family, Friends and Work that Serves” as well as the power of metacognition which Oprah calls “one of the biggest contributions to people getting happier.” Arthur Brooks explains how using “emotional caffeine” can lead to greater happiness and how having “a better storage of emotions” can block anxiety and depression.

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Jia Jiang dreamed of being the next Bill Gates... but an entrepreneur needs the courage and confidence to ask for help. Jia was terrified of rejection - so couldn't fulfil his ambitions. That is, until he decided to beat his fear by seeking out rejection after rejection for a full 100 days. 

Many of us share Jia's nervousness about appearing vulnerable and needy, but the science suggests that we and the people around us would be happier if we asked them for help more often.   

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We often do things now that will make our lives more difficult or stressful in the future. We spend money, when we should save. We eat junk food, when we should exercise. We agree to commitments, when we should protect our free time. We act so thoughtlessly that it's almost like we hate our future selves. 

Dr Laurie asks UCLA's Hal Hershfield to help her find the happiness balance between listening to what she wants now, and the preferences she might have in the future. And she steps into an AI time machine to get some happiness advice for herself decades from today. 

Try talking to the "you of tomorrow" using the MIT Media Lab's Future You chatbot at https://futureyou.media.mit.edu/

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It's not always easy being a podcast host. Dr Laurie is stressed, making mistakes and blaming herself. When things go wrong, we're often our own harshest critics. So how can we tame this type of unkind self-talk?

Luckily for Dr Laurie, Super Grover comes to the rescue - with tips on how she can talk to herself in kind and compassionate ways that will help her manage her feelings, perform better, and feel happier.

(Sesame Workshop is a non-profit organization with a mission to help kids grow smarter, stronger, and kinder. The work they do is funded by donations big and small - so if you want to become a part of their important work to improve children’s emotional well-being, then visit: sesameworkshop.org/support-us/)

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It can speak to us in the middle of a work project, the middle of a date, or the middle of the night. The critical voice in our head telling us we're just not good enough and we're headed for failure. Listener Patricia Branigan wrote in to ask what we can do the quiet down this chatter.  

To explain what damage negative self-talk does to us and explore some simple strategies to challenge our inner critic, Dr Laurie Santos is joined by "chatter" expert Ethan Kross (professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan).

You can read more in Ethan's book 'Chatter: The Voice in our Head (And How to Harness it)'.

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We need to pay attention to our negative feelings - since they are telling us important things which we should address if we are to be happier in 2022. But often we just can't tell different emotions apart or have the proper words to describe what we are feeling.

Social worker and author Brené Brown joins Dr Laurie Santos to explain how we can more fully explore distinct feelings such as envy and jealousy - so we can tell them apart and work out how to change our lives so we feel them less frequently and less painfully.

Brené Brown's new book is Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience.

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He gave us biology, physics and drama... but Greek philosopher Aristotle also thought deeply about how humans can flourish and live happy lives of virtue.

Yale professor Tamar Gendler tells Dr Laurie Santos about Aristotle's wellbeing insights and how he recommended taking daily "baby steps" towards becoming the sort of happy, moderate person we aspire to be. A kind of ancient "fake it, 'til you make it" ethos.

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Plato likened us all to charioteers trying to control two wayward horses. The steeds represent the competing wants and desires that constantly pull us off course and away from a happier life.

Yale professor Tamar Gendler joins Dr Laurie Santos to examine how the ancient Greek philosopher didn't only diagnose the internal tensions we all face, but also offered a cure. The horses can be made to pull in the direction you command... but each must be coaxed in the right way.

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Epictetus was born into slavery and beaten until he was lame... but he became one of Ancient Rome's greatest thinkers by accepting every setback as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Philosophy professor Bill Irvine joins Dr Laurie Santos to delve into Stoicism - an ancient school of thought which urges us to reframe how we view the problems we all face and defuse the negative emotions of anger and envy that can be so harmful to our happiness.

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The Buddha was born to a royal family... and it shocked him when he found out that no amount of money or power could keep suffering and loss at bay forever. The quest to accept that life brings us pain was key to the development of Buddhism as a major religion.

Dr Laurie Santos is joined by Liz Angowski and Robert Wright (author of 'Why Buddhism is True') to explore The Buddha's teachings about unhappiness and how mindfulness meditation can help us come to terms with the negative feelings we all experience from time to time.

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We all need to keep a clear head at times of crisis - but that's not always easy. So when strong emotions of fear and anxiety start to cloud your judgement, turn to an effective and reassuring voice of reason... you. Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory gives us concrete strategies on how to coach yourself so you can approach upsetting problems in a calmer and more reasoned way.

If you have a question you want answered on a future coronavirus bonus episode then tweet @lauriesantos or @pushkinpods using #happinesslabpod

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When Marty Seligman started his long scientific career, psychologists concentrated on studying "misery and suffering" and what made people sad. But Marty wanted to discover what made happy people, well, happy. His research laid the foundations of "positive psychology" and the happiness science you hear week after week in this podcast. 

Dr Laurie Santos talks to Professor Seligman about his decades of research; the power of optimism; and how he became less of a "grouch" to improve his own personal happiness.  

Marty's latest book, TOMORROWMIND: Thriving At Work – Now and in an Uncertain Future, is OUT NOW. 

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Are you seeing what you look at? Or tuning in to the noises all around you? We take our senses for granted - particularly when it comes to the sights and sounds of our everyday lives. Exploring your senses can be a great way to experience more fun and happiness right now.  

Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin was warned that her eyesight was in peril - which spurred her to rethink her relationship with her senses. In the first of two interviews, Gretchen joins Dr Laurie Santos to discuss her journey of discovery and her new book - Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World.

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Humans are great at reacting to mortal danger... but only sometimes. Unfortunately, some risks to our safety and wellbeing don't set off alarm bells in our brains. Climate change falls into that category. Why is that?

Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert explains how some dangers trigger us, and some don't. In discussion with Dr Laurie Santos, he also outlines ways in which we can be made to care more about threats to the planet and maybe react to them in more positive, happiness-inducing ways.   

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Negative emotions like fear or anger are part of being human. These feelings tell us something - perhaps prompting us to take action or bring about change. However, they're powerful and disruptive - and if they hang around too long or are too intense, they can take a huge toll on our happiness and wellbeing. We need to shift them... but how?

Psychologist Ethan Kross knows.

He's the author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You and founder of the Emotion and Self Control Lab at the University of Michigan - and shares his top science-backed tips to rein in feelings like sorrow, disappointment or rage. 

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Uncomfortable emotions such as anger, guilt or loneliness are like the guiding beam of a lighthouse - they warn you of dangers ahead and help you navigate a meaningful life more effectively.

Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David tells Dr Laurie Santos why many of us choose to ignore negative feelings or suppress them - when we should be engaging with them in a way that helps us understand what is going wrong in our lives and what we need to do to fix things and find greater happiness.

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What would you ask a wellbeing expert? Dr Laurie Santos is back with a special season of The Happiness Lab fielding listener questions about work, relationships and getting back out into the world after Covid. She'll be joined by fellow scientists and listeners explaining the stories behind their queries. 

 Begins July 11. 

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What do you do when you enter "survival mode"? How can you become better at forging social connections? Can you be happy in a sad world? Happiness experts Dr Laurie Santos and Gretchen Rubin came together at Toronto's Hot Docs Festival to answer these and other questions from a live audience. 

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America's top athletes need coaches. And those coaches themselves need guidance. It's a hard and stressful job - and one where coaches can easily become burned out and unhappy. And stressed coaches can't help their athletes win medals. 

Christine Bolger and Emilie Lazenby of the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee teach happiness lessons - many they heard on this podcast - to America's elite coaches. They share their story with Dr Laurie and tell us what regular folk can learn from top coaches. 

Check out more Olympics related content from Pushkin Industries and iHeartPodcasts here.

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Cheers was a sitcom hit in the 80s thanks to a theme tune promising that the fictional bar was a place "where everybody knows you name". Venues like pubs - away from our homes and workplaces - are vital for building our social networks and making our lives richer, easier and more fun.  

But these so-called "Third Places" are in danger. Neighborhood hangouts are closing and membership of clubs, associations and unions is falling. Harvard political scientist Robert Putnam has been watching this worrying decline across a lifetime and warns that we need to act before it's too late.  

Robert is author of Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community and The Upswing: How America Came Together a Century Ago and How We Can Do It Again. He also inspired the 2023 film Join or Die. 

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Dr Maya Shankar studies how our minds work and how we change. She joins Dr Laurie Santos to discuss how her own life plans were derailed at 15 and the journey that finally brought her to start a new podcast, A Slight Change of Plans.

The show brings you intimate conversations about how people navigate changes of all kinds and use that change to ultimately grow. Maya uncovers little-known personal stories and reflections from familiar names, like Hillary Clinton, Tiffany Haddish and Kacey Musgraves.

In this preview you'll hear part of an interview with Darryl Davis, a Black jazz musician who convinced hundreds of KKK members to leave the Klan.

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Money can buy you happiness - but not in the way we think. Giving money away - especially to help others - has been shown make us happier than spending on ourselves. 

Social psychologist Lara Aknin explains the best ways to spend on loved ones, friends and even total strangers to get the biggest happiness bang for your buck. 

And Harvard's s Josh Greene reveals how much money Happiness Lab listeners gave to charity via Giving Multiplier last year - and how many lives you saved. 

To give to a charity of your choice and to some of the most effective charities around (and have your donation matched at a special rate) visit: https://givingmultiplier.org/invite/HAPPINESSLAB

The Happiness Lab will return in January 2023. See you then.

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Do you go on endless dates hoping to find the perfect partner only to be endlessly disappointed? Or have you stopped meeting people because you've decided that you're undateable? Maybe you need to start dating like a scientist. 

Behavioural scientist Logan Ury has studied the common mistakes we make when looking for love - and thinks science can shows us a better way.  

Logan is the director of relationship science at the dating app Hinge. She’s also the dating coach for the new Netflix showThe Later Daters and author of How to Not Die Alone.

Check out Logan's website at loganury.com

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We're bringing you an episode of Fixable, where Laurie joined Frances Frei and Anne Morriss to discuss whether you can make yourself happier at work. They talk about the concept of time famine, why you need a best friend at work, and where your employer is responsible for your wellbeing. Their conversation will show you how to turn your workplace into your happy place.

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When did you last check in on a friend? Maybe the last time you did, their reply was terse or non-existent. Perhaps months or years have passed and you feel awkward about reestablishing contact? Or you might worry they're busy and you're just bothering them?

Andy Salkind tells Dr Laurie Santos that you should forget your worries - and just TEXT THEM!

After all, a simple message from a friend saved his life. 

WARNING: This episode deals with depression and suicidality. If you’re based in the US, you can call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Similar services are available in pretty much every other country. So, if you need help, please, please reach out.  

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Fairy tales and Hollywood rom coms have taught us to expect perfection from a soul mate, but sex and relationships therapist Todd Baratz says we need to be more comfortable with the idea that a "good enough" partner will do. 

Todd once bought into this perfection myth - wanting a boyfriend to meet all his needs without even being told. These expectations helped end the relationship. Now Todd (author of How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind) says we need to accept that our loved ones will be just as flawed and human as we are. 

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Some people think they need to be ruthless and selfish to thrive and survive in life. The theories of Charles Darwin are often wrongly interpreted to support this view that being competitive is the key to happiness and success. It isn’t. 

Dr Laurie Santos and Dr Jamil Zaki find that there are plenty of examples in the animal kingdom and human world where cooperation, kindness and compassion prove to be the winning strategy.

Jamil's book Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness is out now.

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