The Baggage Reclaim Sessions (Natalie Lue)
Explore every episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
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| 10 Dec 2021 | Ep. 246: Can We Know If a New Partner is Emotionally Available? | 00:28:40 | |
Natalie delves into what's going on when we try to find out whether someone we've just met (or have only just started a relationship with) is emotionally available. | |||
| 02 Apr 2021 | Ep. 219: You Are Allowed To Rest | 00:37:44 | |
Natalie delves into our messy relationship with rest, including acting as if we owe everyone our 'free time' to others and our fear of appearing 'lazy'. | |||
| 17 Jan 2020 | Ep. 167: Beep Me 911 - Why didn't you text back? | 01:05:18 | |
Texting anxiety has become increasingly prevalent over the years. Between read receipts, being able to see if they're online or when they were last online, seeing someone type and then pause, and seeing their likes on social media while you await a reply, it's pretty easy to destroy our inner peace. But what about when you're experiencing this while dating? Natalie explains why we drive ourselves crazy over strangers and why we have to use the recognition of our anxiety to change our relationship with texts and dating. | |||
| 15 May 2020 | Ep. 183: Normal People and Casual Relationships | 00:44:10 | |
When Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of replies about this portrayal of a casual (sometimes secret) relationship mixed with a complicated friendship. Natalie talks about some of the sources of hurt and misunderstanding in casual relationships and what we can learn from our participation.
Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 24 Jul 2020 | Ep. 193: The Landmarks of Boundaried Communication | 00:50:35 | |
Am I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have? Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communication--compassion, congruency, clarity, ownership and grace--to help us see the wood for the trees and build our confidence with communicating who we are through healthier boundaries. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 13 May 2022 | Ep. 261: Punching Below Our Weight? | 00:24:04 | |
Prompted by messages from people claiming that they seem to only feel confident dating or being in relationships with those who are 'below' their level, Natalie explores what this actually means (and what it doesn't!!) and why we do it in the first place.
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| 25 Jun 2021 | Ep. 230: Why you're still thinking about that certain someone or thing | 00:35:33 | |
It's easy to assume that the reason you're still thinking about someone (or something) because it means you're still crazy about them, mad with them, or that you're still invested in the situation. Actually, there's another reason why, and Natalie breaks this down in this week's episode. | |||
| 29 Apr 2022 | Ep. 259: The Trouble With Overgiving and Overcompensating | 00:30:27 | |
Natalie talks about how when we give too much--yes, there is such a thing!--we're really not 'giving' at all. | |||
| 24 Sep 2021 | Ep. 236: Let's Stop Minimising Those Big Little Things | 00:34:26 | |
Natalie explains why downplaying the truth or significance of something—minimising—whether it’s who we are and what we need or other people’s asks, expectations or behaviour, leads to big problems.
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| 29 Jul 2022 | (REPLAY) Ep. 219: You Are Allowed To Rest | 00:39:41 | |
In this replay episode, Natalie examines our relationship with rest because so many of us have internal debates about taking time off, whether for a break, pleasure, or to allow ourselves to recover from illness and burnout.
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| 23 Apr 2021 | Ep. 222: They're Just Not That into You? | 00:34:57 | |
Natalie talks about why the infamous piece of advice, 'He's just not that into you' from the 2004 book of the same name, can easily be misinterpreted as 'You're not enough' or 'They behaved as they did because they didn't feel enough'. | |||
| 12 Feb 2021 | Ep. 212: People Can Be More Than One Thing | 00:25:00 | |
Natalie explains why it's time to recognise that people can be more than one thing and stop denying, rationalising, minimising, excusing, assuming and generalising ourselves into feeling stuck because we can't reconcile who we think someone is with other things that don't fit that image. | |||
| 22 Jan 2021 | Ep. 209: The Compatibility Factor | 00:32:44 | |
In the first episode of 2021, Natalie breaks down compatibility, our ability co-exist harmoniously with someone or something.
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| 10 Apr 2020 | Ep. 178: About Allowing You To Feel Angry | 00:33:21 | |
So many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. Natalie talks about why allowing ourselves to feel angry is critical to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing, and why acknowledging our 'silent rage' helps us to be more aware of our people-pleasing. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership | |||
| 31 Jul 2020 | Ep. 194: Let's Talk About Self-Sabotage | 00:59:21 | |
Natalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage. **Please note! The podcast will go on hiatus until 11th September. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 11 Dec 2020 | Ep. 208: Scope Creep Makes Your Boundaries Beep | 00:56:09 | |
What does a project shifting dramatically, increased work responsibilities or hours beyond what was originally agreed, an overbearing and critical partner who always 'knows best', and someone in a casual relationship thinking and behaving as if they're in an actual relationship have in common? They're all examples of scope creep.
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| 12 Nov 2021 | Ep. 243: That's Not My Baggage! I Know What's Mine 😁 | 00:20:41 | |
Natalie shares how she learned to stop taking responsibility for other people's baggage and how this inspired the show's central question: What's the baggage behind it?
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| 22 Apr 2022 | Ep. 258: It's Not Our Job to Meet Our Parents' Expectations | 00:47:10 | |
Natalie talks about the comments parents make that suggest that we're not meeting their expectations and that they're disappointed with our life choices. | |||
| 16 Dec 2022 | Ep. 276: New Year, New No, and Recognising the Dark Side of People Pleasing | 00:49:46 | |
In the final episode of 2022, Natalie shares a deleted chapter from her forthcoming book, The Joy of Saying No. She breaks down how, to escape the chains of the roles we play and trying to keep up with our and other people's often unrealistic expectations and projections, we might act out behind the scenes, go rogue on the version of ourselves that people have come to expect from us, lash out, or experience the toll of the chronic stress of our people-pleasing habit. Pre-order The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want in audiobook, hardback, and ebook formats. https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/joy-of-saying-no-book/ Not sure what "pre-order" means and why it matters? Check out my handy video. | |||
| 21 Mar 2025 | Ep. 290: People-Pleasing Styles: What Your Pattern Reveals About Your Past and Present | 00:32:51 | |
| 04 Jun 2021 | Ep. 227: The Reset Button | 00:37:07 | |
Natalie talks about when somebody attempts to erase the past by acting as if it didn't happen and trying to pick up where they [decided they] left off. | |||
| 10 Jul 2020 | Ep. 191: About Defining The Relationship | 01:00:46 | |
Defining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anxiety that comes with it. Natalie talks about why defining the relationship conversations don't have to be so awkward and scary. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 01 Nov 2024 | Ep. 281: "Is There Something About Me?" | 01:00:24 | |
Natalie's joined by her brother Richard again for a follow-up episode to discuss how their upbringing created a habit of wondering if there's something about them that makes them 'not good enough' or causes people to mistreat them or bad things happen - and how they're making strides in healing that narrative and taking care of themselves. 'Reclaimed' membership | Work with me | Baggage Reclaim | Shop | Sign up for my newsletter Leave a voice note | Support the podcast and leave a tip
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| 18 Feb 2022 | Ep. 251: Scammers Be Scamming | 00:34:13 | |
The Tinder Swindler, Sweet Bobby, Love Fraud, and more. After watching and listening to a host of scam-related shows, Natalie shares what she's observed about the pattern of scammers, including what can make us more receptive to being drawn in. | |||
| 23 Sep 2022 | Ep. 270: Knowing When To Fold On Unhealthy & Unfulfilling Relationships | 00:36:25 | |
In the first episode following Natalie's summer break, she talks about knowing when it's time to fold on a relationship that isn't truly right for us. | |||
| 04 Apr 2025 | Ep. 291: Trusting Myself Through an Unexpected Health Journey | 00:32:21 | |
| 14 Feb 2020 | Ep. 171: Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop | 00:55:55 | |
Meeting someone new sometimes causes us to become preoccupied with answering the question 'Are you trustworthy?' When things are going well in an area of our life, this sometimes also causes us to wonder 'When are things going to go wrong?' Natalie talks about the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership | |||
| 10 Sep 2021 | Ep. 234: *Sometimes* We're Controlling in Our Relationships | 00:31:49 | |
Sometimes our habit of trying to control the uncontrollable creeps into our relationships. Natalie delves into this tricky subject, sharing some surprising examples as well as advice for how to become more aware of the habit.
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| 07 May 2021 | Ep. 224: Our Experience of Someone May Differ Due to Context | 00:31:35 | |
It can be super frustrating when you have a negative experience of someone, and everyone else thinks the sun shines out of them. Natalie talks about why our experience of a person can differ due to context. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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| 03 Feb 2023 | Ep. 278: The One Where We Say Goodbye | 00:39:38 | |
In the final episode of the podcast, Natalie is joined by her husband Em where they chat, answer listener questions, and say goodbye to this show which has been such a huge part of her life. The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want is out now. Purchase it from your favourite bookseller. 'Reclaimed' membership | Work with me | Baggage Reclaim | Shop | Sign up for my newsletter Leave a voice note | Support the podcast and leave a tip
Shownotes
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| 25 Feb 2022 | Ep. 252: Respecting Someone Else's Fear (even when you don't 'get' it) | 00:25:54 | |
Natalie talks about why it can be problematic when we question or belittle another person's fear of something and why focusing on how 'good' we think we are or the 'good things' we think we've done stops us from respecting why the person is afraid. | |||
| 21 May 2021 | Ep. 226: Yeah, But Am I Needy? | 00:37:32 | |
So many of us fear that we are 'needy' and so settle for less than what we need, desire and deserve. We also may have been called it by someone else, and it's left a mark. Natalie dives into the truth about 'neediness'. | |||
| 08 Oct 2021 | Ep. 238: Be Careful Who You Tell Your Problems To | 00:38:33 | |
Being able to get things off our chest is crucial to our wellbeing and part of our intimate relationships, but sometimes we chat out our business to the wrong people! Natalie shares some of the reasons people respond unfairly or unkindly when we share our problems with them.
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| 22 Oct 2021 | Ep. 240: Oh-Oh for Intensity and Fast Trust | 00:21:47 | |
We've texted or hung out with someone several times, why do we think know them already? Natalie shares why intensity causes us to mistakenly extend trust. | |||
| 13 Mar 2020 | Ep. 174: Let's Not Be Cool With Taking Advantage Or Being Taken Advantage Of | 00:34:04 | |
Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party is benefitting from it. Natalie talks about why even though we can do something, like keep messing with someone who is way more into us than we are, it doesn't mean that we should. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership | |||
| 11 Feb 2022 | Ep. 250: Changes, That's Just The Way It Is | 00:18:29 | |
It's the 250th episode! Natalie shares what she's learned about change and evolving--intentionally and through the 'imposition' of necessity. | |||
| 25 Mar 2022 | Ep. 256: Even Grief Brings Out the Pleaser in Us! | 00:32:08 | |
It's been five years since Natalie's father died, and she's got some things to share about grief and anger, including why we don't have to perform our feelings for people or withhold our grief to pussyfoot around others. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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| 03 Jun 2022 | Ep. 264: Let's Talk About the Real Reasons Behind Affairs | 00:37:02 | |
After receiving a lot of requests for her to talk about the topic, Natalie delves into why affairs happen and the importance of challenging some of the misconceptions about affairs that tend to assume that a person only cheats because their partner and relationship aren't 'good enough'. | |||
| 20 May 2022 | Ep. 262: 'I'm not ready/able for a relationship right now...' | 00:35:27 | |
In this week's episode, Natalie talks about why it's important to accept and respect it when somebody says that they can't be in a relationship with us. No matter how we feel or them behaving in what we perceive to be relationship-y ways, if actions and words don't match, we've got a problem. | |||
| 02 Oct 2020 | Ep. 198: Perfectionism and The Idealised Version of Ourselves | 00:50:25 | |
We all have an idealised version of ourselves, an image that reflects perfection or that's certainly 'better' than reality. Natalie talks about how being disconnected from and not appreciating our actual real self in the pursuit of the idealised version can lead to problems and pain. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 03 Apr 2020 | Ep. 177: Discomfort and the Time-Off Thermostat | 00:40:54 | |
What's your tolerance for discomfort, boredom or time out from your typical routine? Natalie talks about our discomfort with having time and space, especially when it means that we might feel and think more than our typical way of life allows for. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership | |||
| 01 May 2020 | Ep. 181: Unsatisfactory Endings and Closing The Story Loop | 00:34:35 | |
Humans don't like unsatisfactory endings, hence why we feel as if we're left hanging by the sudden cancellation of a TV series or a dodgy ending. Natalie talks about how our desire to close loops can cause us to do things like seek validation, wait for a call we didn't want or to feel as if the 'bad guy' won. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 17 Dec 2021 | Ep. 247: The One Where Nat Went To Therapy | 00:24:41 | |
In the final episode of 2021, Natalie shares a little on surprising herself by going to therapy this year and how 2021 pushed her to new, deeper places. | |||
| 22 May 2020 | Ep. 184: 'Why Am I Feeling OK?' and Other Worries | 00:56:39 | |
Natalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and Why aren't I doing more? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 10 Jun 2022 | Ep. 265: The Trouble With the Not-That-Innocent Good Girl/Guy | 00:42:57 | |
Natalie explains why our need to be perceived as 'good' and even beyond reproach creates problems for some of the people around us. Book your tickets for the live show of the podcast on Saturday, 18th June. | |||
| 18 Apr 2025 | Ep. 292: Overextended and Overwhelmed: The Real Reason You Procrastinate | 01:15:12 | |
| 18 Sep 2020 | Ep. 196: Taking Things Too Personally | 01:02:00 | |
Sometimes we take things so personally that it derails us. We feel stuck in shame, rejection, rumination and resentment, and we might behave in ways that don't reflect who we are in the main. Natalie talks about why this happens and how to break the habit. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 21 Feb 2020 | Ep. 172: It's Okay To Not Know What You Want | 00:36:28 | |
Natalie talks about why not knowing what you want doesn't have to mean something terrible and why it's going to be tricky to listen to what you want if you're not listening to and meeting your needs. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership | |||
| 24 Jan 2025 | Ep. 287: Estrangement Lessons - Why I Had to Break up With My Mother | 00:49:49 | |
Natalie opens up about her decision to break up with her mother, exploring how she arrived at this choice and why sometimes stepping away from relationships - even with parents - is necessary for healing and being able to live your life with love, care, trust and respect. Episode show notes: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/287 Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim 'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/
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| 15 Nov 2024 | Ep. 282: Gray Area Drinking and Our Relationship with Alcohol | 01:21:19 | |
Natalie chats with wellness coach (and former Baggage Reclaim student) Jolene Park about gray area drinking and understanding our relationship with alcohol. How we consume and discuss alcohol has shifted dramatically over the last decade or so and more of us are reflecting on our relationship with alcohol but also sometimes unaware of how much the past - our emotional baggage - influences how and why we drink. Learn about what gray area drinking is, why our relationship with alcohol, including how it affects us, doesn't fit neatly into the two buckets of 'those who can handle alcohol' and 'those who can't', and discover some first steps for reflecting on your own relationship with alcohol. For more links and resources related to this episode, check out the shownotes.
'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/ Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast
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| 27 Mar 2020 | Ep. 176: Voicing Issues To Be Better Than Before | 00:47:04 | |
Natalie revisits the topic of improving communication in our intimate relationships. When we recognise that we're experiencing an issue or that we need to express difficult emotions or thoughts, we sometimes decide to keep it to ourselves so that we don't hurt the other party's feelings or ourselves. But the moment we do this, we're blocking intimacy. It creates more problems than if we'd spoken up in the first place. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership | |||
| 09 Oct 2020 | Ep. 199: Yes Isn't A 'Clean' Word If It's Not Authentic | 00:41:40 | |
Natalie talks about why no isn't a dirty word and how it leads to saying yes to more of the people, things and opportunities that reflect who you really are. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 11 Mar 2022 | Ep. 254: Are You Inadvertently Avoiding a Successful Outcome? | 00:20:25 | |
Natalie talks about how when keep going back on ourselves about something that causes us pain and discomfort, a part of us is afraid of what being successful at getting out of that relationship or situation would mean. | |||
| 01 Oct 2021 | Ep. 237: 'Mutual' is a Mentality | 00:22:28 | |
Natalie dives into the importance of approaching our interactions and relationships with a 'mutual mentality' so that we don't devalue, exploit and short-change ourselves.
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| 05 Nov 2021 | Ep. 242: But Will You Actually Get Into Trouble? | 00:18:47 | |
Natalie explains why learning to be unconditionally obedient skewed our perception of negative consequences and why it's time to update our thinking so that we stop scaring ourselves out of taking care of us. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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| 28 Jan 2022 | Ep. 248: Keeping It Real About Self-Esteem | 00:31:53 | |
In the first episode of 2022, Natalie shares her ideas about what self-esteem is and why we don't need to overcomplicate things when we decide to 'improve' our relationship with ourselves. | |||
| 05 Jun 2020 | Ep. 186: Following Through On Intentions & Words With Action | 00:44:18 | |
Natalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased awareness and conversations about racism. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 07 Mar 2025 | Ep. 289: Dating Your Imagination: The Fantasy Trap in the Early Stages of Dating | 00:28:49 | |
Episode show notes: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/289 Save 30% on Relationship Fundamentals classes: Readying for Love | Overcoming Dating Anxiety | The Compatibility Factor | Could This Be It? | Know Where You Stand | Co-Piloting Your Relationship Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast 'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/ | |||
| 05 Mar 2021 | Ep. 215: Fear of Criticism Doesn't Have To Run Your Life | 00:37:44 | |
Natalie talks about why we need to change our relationship with criticism so that we stop investing so much of ourselves into trying to control the uncontrollable and being self-critical.
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| 01 Apr 2022 | Ep. 257: Losing Ourselves Leads to Losing Our Temper | 00:36:37 | |
Natalie talks about why we surprise ourselves and others by losing our temper and behaving uncharacteristically and how we can navigate ourselves away from being tipped over the edge. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop | |||
| 23 Oct 2020 | Ep. 201: Who were you 'getting to know' over those texts? | 00:47:23 | |
While it isn't a new issue, disappointment about online interactions not blossoming into something bigger and better in real life seems to have been heightened by the pandemic, thanks to it limiting our social interactions. Natalie talks about the importance of managing our imagination and expectations so that we don't end up falling for a hologram or setting ourselves up for a fall. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 11 Jun 2021 | Ep. 228: 'But why am I experiencing problems?' | 00:31:29 | |
As humans, we don't like having problems, especially when we feel it's unwarranted and that we've done all the right things. But what if this is part of the problem in the first place? Natalie shares insights on how we can learn (and move on from) problems with more love, care, trust and respect. | |||
| 03 Jul 2020 | Ep. 190: Did I scare them off? Was it my Jedi mind tricks? | 00:51:48 | |
Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-powerful influence caused someone or a situation to become. Natalie delves into why we languish on the notion that we scared something or someone away. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 29 Jan 2021 | Ep. 210: I am anxious about something | 00:38:24 | |
Natalie shares how we can use our awareness of certain habits as a notification that we are anxious about *something* so that we can take better care of ourselves. | |||
| 25 Sep 2020 | Ep. 197: Code Amber and Red Alerts | 00:41:19 | |
Ignoring or dismissing warning signs about a person or situation means that we ignore and dismiss ourselves. Natalie explains how categorising 'red flags' as code amber and red alerts help us to get grounded and acknowledge whether we're going against ourselves, ignoring incompatibility, or are in danger.
Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 31 Jan 2020 | Ep. 169: 'They journal/meditate/do yoga/go to therapy. Shouldn't they be more emotionally intelligent?' | 00:52:16 | |
Some people feel confused, angry and hurt when their relationship doesn't work out because they believed that the person 'should' have delivered because of self-care practices they engaged in. Natalie explains why just because someone journals, meditates, goes to yoga or therapy, it doesn't mean that they're super emotionally intelligent, really good at relationships or, yes, 'better' than you.
Instagram | Events | Blog| Membership | |||
| 03 Dec 2021 | Ep. 245: Disagreeing With Loved Ones Doesn’t Have to Be Threatening | 00:45:29 | |
Why might we be able to debate and have disagreements at work or in certain situations but panic and shut down or become defensive with loved ones? Natalie delves into why we feel threatened by disagreement and difference and how to start breaking the habit. | |||
| 12 Mar 2021 | Ep. 216: The Truth About Breakups | 00:36:18 | |
Natalie talks about why we need to shift our perception of what a breakup is and what it means about us so that we can let go of old stories and painful feelings that still affect us today. | |||
| 12 Jun 2020 | Ep. 187: The Lather, Rinse, Repeat of the Frustrating Dating Cycle | 00:33:51 | |
When promising chats and dates don't lead to the relationship we want and anticipated, we can feel stuck in a frustrating dating cycle. But what if what's causing the lather, rinse, repeat is a couple of particular blind spots that keep setting us up for disappointment? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 15 Jul 2022 | Ep 269: Shifting from Shady to Loving Relationships (LIVE SHOW recording) | 00:30:12 | |
Natalie shares her thoughts on love, loving yourself, and why we don't need to have good thoughts and feelings *all the time* or be 'healed' to experience more loving relationships. This episode was recorded at The International Women's Podcast Festival in partnership with Pinterest on June 18th, 2022. | |||
| 17 Sep 2021 | Ep. 235: Delusions of Inferiority | 00:40:57 | |
Plenty of us are a little bit too used to blaming ourselves for other people's feelings and behaviour and determining that we're not 'good enough'. But not everything is about us, and in this week's episode, Natalie breaks down the trouble with inverted narcissism.
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| 04 Nov 2022 | Ep. 273: Ignoring, Dismissing and Overriding Ourselves Always Leads to Problems | 00:34:02 | |
Natalie breaks down why saying we're harsh/hasty/hypervigilant/picky leads to us ignoring, dismissing and overriding ourselves. | |||
| 19 Mar 2021 | Ep 217: Trust Is a Gamble, but We Can Learn To Make Good Bets | 00:33:00 | |
Natalie talks about shifting our relationship with trust to a healthy place, including recognising where some of the things we do to foster trust or 'make' someone prove that they are trustworthy are precisely the source of us feeling unsafe in the first place. | |||
| 29 Nov 2024 | Ep. 283: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents | 01:53:51 | |
Natalie chats with Lindsay C. Gibson, the author of million-copy selling 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents'. They delve into the characteristics of emotionally immature parents, the impact on their children, and the resulting emotional loneliness. They also discuss the importance of understanding these dynamics, the process of reparenting, and the nuances of emotional expression. The conversation highlights how these experiences shape adult relationships and the tendency towards people pleasing as a coping mechanism. They round out their chat with advice for people who want to break the cycle in their own parenting and for those who've had to distance themselves or become estranged. Lindsay's book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Natalie's book: The Joy of Saying No 'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/ Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast | |||
| 06 May 2022 | Ep. 260: Keeping It Real About What It Means to Take Responsibility | 00:31:43 | |
It can be bloody infuriating when someone makes a mistake or does us wrong and they refuse to acknowledge or take responsibility. But plenty of us don't even know what the hell taking responsibility means, so Natalie breaks it down in this week's episode. | |||
| 14 May 2020 | Ep. 182: Your 'Worthiness' Isn't To Blame | 00:27:41 | |
What if having your needs and wants met has absolutely nothing to do with how worthy you are and whether you 'deserve' it? Natalie shares a recent light-bulb moment and talks about why we have to stop telling ourselves the lie that our worthiness is to blame. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 04 Feb 2022 | Ep. 249: The Trouble With Bare-Minimum Relationships | 00:26:57 | |
Natalie delves into why accepting just the bare minimum (or less!!) in our relationships is problematic and explains why that person who appeared to make so much effort 'in the beginning' doesn't anymore. | |||
| 17 Apr 2020 | Ep. 179: Better The Devil You Know? | 00:36:18 | |
When an ex who didn't treat us with love, care, trust and respect starts saying 'all the right things', it's all-too-easy to be nostalgic. Before we plot our fairy-tale ending or abandon opportunities, our current relationship or even ourselves and the growth we've experienced since the relationship ended, let's check ourselves. Instagram | Courses | Blog | Membership | |||
| 10 Jan 2025 | Ep. 286: Money! Healing Our Relationship with Our Finances with Rachel Duncan | 01:18:33 | |
'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/ Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast | |||
| 07 Feb 2020 | Ep. 170: Conflict & The Five Stages of Relationships | 00:56:23 | |
Something that makes so many of us nervous is navigating conflict within romantic relationships. Natalie revisits her five stages of relationship framework to explain conflict and how it's part of deepening intimacy in relationships and becoming more self-aware. *Please note*: The correct date for the New York workshop mentioned in the episode is May 24th not 23rd. Doh! Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership | |||
| 16 Jul 2021 | Ep. 233: Eek, Am I Doing Self-Care Wrong? | 00:49:04 | |
Natalie talks about how and why we put ourselves under pressure about taking care of ourselves and shares tips for breaking this perfectionism habit so that we don't have unrealistic expectations of self-care that cause us more harm than good. This is the last episode of the summer, and Natalie will be back on September 10th 2021.
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| 26 Feb 2021 | Ep. 214: We Don't Need To Put So Much Bandwidth Into Keeping Up Appearances | 00:33:27 | |
Natalie talks about how we've been socialised to keep up appearances and why this pretence, whether it's about nothing being wrong or that who we are is not OK, is damaging to our wellbeing and relationships.
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| 18 Oct 2024 | Ep. 280: Secrets, Lies, and Coming Out | 00:57:31 | |
Have you ever known that a loved one is holding back parts of themselves and essentially lying to you but they won't talk to you about it? Well, this is what happened with Natalie and her brother for over twenty years. In this episode, they sit down and share the story of what happened when he could finally be honest with her, the impact of generational trauma, and what happened when they accidentally discovered they'd both been lied to for over forty years about a crucial aspect of their childhood. Note: there are a couple of 'naughty' words, just in case you're listening in the vicinity of little ears.
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| 20 Mar 2020 | Ep. 175: Hard Resets, Anxiety and Corona Miracles with Exes | 00:58:16 | |
What do you do when you feel as if your whole world has been turned upside down? Well, that's something that a lot of us are feeling right now. Natalie shares some thoughts on navigating anxiety and uncertainty. She also digs into some questions/situations that have cropped up thanks to Coronavirus:
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| 26 Mar 2021 | Ep. 218: Three Vulnerability Habits to Live By | 00:30:06 | |
Natalie talks about the three vulnerability habits we all need to embrace: admitting what we don't know, admitting when we've made a mistake, and admitting when we're in the wrong. | |||
| 13 Dec 2024 | Ep. 284: Shifting Our Understanding of Attachment | 00:49:37 | |
This week's episode is about attachment, a topic Natalie's delving into for the first time with integrative coach, Elfreda Manahan-Vaughn because she's never been able to see herself in the popular attachment narrative, and she knew there must be others who felt the same way. Natalie and Elfreda discuss a more expansive, nuanced, inclusive understanding of attachment and how it can liberate, instead of hold you back. They talk about the importance of understanding one's own patterns, and the potential for personal growth and earned security, emphasising the adaptability of attachment styles and the steps individuals can take to foster healthier connections with themselves and others. Elfreda Manahan-Vaugn's Mettamorphics website Elfreda on Instagram and LinkedIn 'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/ Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast
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| 02 Dec 2022 | Ep. 275: You Don’t *Have* to Be Friends With Your Ex(es) | 00:28:34 | |
Natalie explains why our biggest imperative post-breakup isn't to be bosom buddies with our ex and how we don't need to force ourselves to be friends if we're not ready yet or we don't *want* to. | |||
| 07 Oct 2022 | Ep. 271: Let's Talk About Insane Politeness and Toxic Professionalism | 00:36:24 | |
Some of what we force ourselves to do, silence and tolerate are forms of insane politeness and toxic professionalism. Natalie breaks down what these are, why we do it, and why we've got to stop harming ourselves in the name of these social masks. | |||
| 02 Jul 2021 | Ep. 231: One-Trait Minds and The Polar Opposites Game | 00:28:33 | |
Natalie talks about why being drawn to one particular thing in romantic partners can prove to be a major blind spot. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
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| 18 Oct 2024 | Ep. 279: Return of Nat (Come on!) | 00:44:30 | |
After twenty months, Natalie is delighted to be back! In this episode, she shares a bit about her journey to this point as well as what led to the decision to return, plus she shares her plans for the podcast going forward. And yes, the title of this episode was inspired by Mark Morrison's iconic 'Return of the Mack'.
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| 27 Dec 2024 | Ep. 285: Having Your Own Back: What Self-Advocacy Really Means | 00:36:12 | |
Natalie takes us on a candid exploration of self-advocacy and what it means to truly have our own back. Drawing from her personal experiences in 2024, she digs into why speaking up for ourselves can feel so challenging, how our people-pleasing tendencies get in the way, and why being "difficult" or causing inconvenience when advocating for ourselves isn't just okay - it's necessary for our wellbeing. Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast 'Reclaimed' membership: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaimed/ Work with me: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/consultations/ Baggage Reclaim: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk Shop courses and books: https://store.baggagereclaim.com Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/newsletter/
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| 21 Oct 2022 | Ep. 272: Are You Disappointed? Or Is It That You're Angry? | 00:38:36 | |
Natalie talks about the importance of distinguishing between anger and disappointment to take better care of ourselves and start moving forward. Pre-Order The Joy of Saying No.
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| 16 Apr 2021 | Ep. 221 Sometimes We've Got To Block, Delete or Unfriend | 00:37:08 | |
Natalie talks about why we resist blocking, unfriending or deleting even when continuing to engage harms our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. | |||
| 01 Jul 2022 | Ep. 268: Get Out of the Field of Shoulds by Choosing Desire Over Obligation | 00:23:56 | |
A big part of being more boundaried is knowing the difference between doing things from a place of desire versus doing them from a place of obligation. Natalie shares the insights she learned from a recent decision where she's deviated from her own and other people's expectations. | |||
| 18 Nov 2022 | Exclusive Sneak Peek: Listen to a Chapter from The Joy of Saying No | 00:24:10 | |
Natalie shares an exclusive excerpt from her forthcoming book The Joy of Saying No. Pre-order your copy in audiobook, hardback and ebook formats. | |||
| 06 Nov 2020 | Ep. 203: OK, But What Is Intimacy? | 01:02:31 | |
Natalie does a deep dive into a subject that creates a level of discomfort in a lot of humans to answer a question that befuddles so many of us even though we put so much effort into trying to enjoy the benefits of intimacy or avoiding it: What is intimacy?
Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 16 Oct 2020 | Ep. 200: The One Where Nat and Em Hang Out | 01:06:18 | |
To celebrate the 200th episode of the podcast (yay!), Natalie sits down for a chat with her very first guest (and the one who came up with the idea for the show!), her husband, Em. Using questions from listeners, they give a little insight into their relationship, including how they met, how they knew they were each other's 'one', and overcoming conflict. **Please note**: This episode was recorded differently to other episodes due to needing to record another person. Thanks to the t'internet, there's a few times where the sound dips, but it's otherwise good! Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership | |||
| 24 Apr 2020 | Ep.180: Time For A Second (Or Umpteenth) Chance? | 00:38:09 | |
When someone shows us who they are, they're showing us their values. If that's different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge this. But sometimes, despite what we know, we look to give a second (or umpteenth) chance. Natalie breaks down what's really going on in these situations so that when we do give (or receive) chances, we do so with more awareness and truth. | |||
| 09 Sep 2022 | (REPLAY) Ep. 158: It's Not That You're Not Good Enough; You're Over-Responsible | 00:48:25 | |
In this replay episode, Natalie explains why those habits that leave you doubting and disliking yourself and breaching your boundaries are a sign that you're over-responsible. | |||
| 17 Jun 2022 | Ep. 266: Do More 'Reps' of Being Yourself | 00:26:02 | |
Natalie talks about the importance of representing yourself--showing up, speaking up and stepping up for who you are. | |||