The Art of Charm (The Art of Charm)

Veteran Jon Davis stops by to discuss readjusting to civilian life after deployment in Iraq, what employers will "just never get" about vets, and how to annoy a veteran in 3 easy steps. Happy Veterans' Day, and, if you're a vet, we thank you for serving. Support Jon Davis at http://www.patreon.com/ jondavis More Voices for Vets: http://voicesforvets.co HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we dive into the art of productive discourse, the challenges posed by modern technology, and the 10 essential habits of a peacemaker with Steven T. Collis, a distinguished law professor and expert in First Amendment rights. As a scholar dedicated to understanding and navigating the complexities of free speech and religious liberty, Steven has spent years engaging in some of the most contentious topics of our time. His insightful perspectives have been shared across North America, where he educates audiences on the sophisticated tactics used by social media companies to keep us addicted and the importance of intellectual humility in today's polarized world. In this episode, we explore key insights from his upcoming book, "Habits of a Peacemaker," available this September. Join us for an insightful conversation with Steven T. Collis, where he discusses the challenges of modern communication and the critical role of peacemaking in today's polarized society. How can we break free from the habits that social media companies have engineered to keep us addicted and instead foster more productive and meaningful discourse? What are the essential habits that can help us navigate difficult conversations and bridge divides? Steven shares his expert insights on cultivating intellectual humility, the power of real learning, and the surprising ways humor can be a tool for connection. Discover practical strategies to become a more effective peacemaker, enhance your relationships, and contribute to a more respectful and understanding world both online and offline. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What inspired Steven T. Collis to write "Habits of a Peacemaker" and why is peacemaking more important than ever? How does Steven’s background in First Amendment law influence his approach to productive discourse? What challenges do modern technologies, especially social media, pose to our ability to engage in meaningful conversations? The Art of Productive Discourse – 00:03:00 What habits can help you engage in more productive and respectful conversations? How can you overcome the addictive nature of social media to focus on real learning and intellectual humility? Why is it important to seek out differing viewpoints, and how can this practice improve your understanding of complex issues? Social Media's Impact on Communication – 00:10:45 How do social media platforms use psychological techniques from the gambling industry to keep users engaged? What are the dangers of echo chambers and how can they hinder productive discourse? What strategies can you use to protect yourself from the negative effects of social media on your communication habits? Developing Intellectual Humility – 00:16:14 What does it mean to have intellectual humility, and why is it crucial for productive dialogue? How can you reframe conversations to focus on learning rather than debating? Why is it important to recognize the limits of your knowledge, especially when discussing complex topics? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover procrastination and perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp. Jennifer is a leading expert on perfectionism and builds flexibility and self-compassion when working with therapeutic clients. Many of us experience perfectionism in different ways but they all hold us back from where we want to be, so what are the different ways perfectionism shows up in your life, what are the warning signs your perfectionism is unhealthy, and what can you do to overcome your perfectionism?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is unhelpful perfectionism and how is it different from the perfectionism we understand today? What 4 signs can you look for to identify whether your perfectionism is healthy or not?   The importance of adapting vs perfecting – 13:40  How does the pursuit of perfection lead to less progression when you’re trying to learn or improve a skill? What classes can you take to improve your conversational ability, sense of humor, and perfectionism?   What makes Art of Charm training programs so effective – 25:39  How do AoC alumni maintain their development after the program so they don’t fall back into their old behavior? How does skill development become self-reinforcing so it feels fun rather than a lot of work?   The warning signs of perfectionism – 39:20  How is perfectionism linked to other mental health issues and how can you identify them? What exercises can you do if you’re struggling with a harsh inner critic?   Is perfectionism keeping you from the success you’re after? You’re not alone. Perfectionism can show up in your life in several ways, including procrastination. Perfectionism can be a strength when it helps you create quality results, but it’s not doing you any favors if it stops you from taking action.    A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!   Resources from this Episode Jennifer Kemp’s website The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle empathy with Michael Ventura, Paul Bloom, Geoffrey Cohen, and Rick Hanson. Michael Ventura is the author of Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership. Paul Bloom is a professor at the University of Toronto and author of Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. Geoffrey Cohen is a Stanford professor and author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. And Rick Hanson is a psychologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and NYT bestselling author of Taking in the Good. How can empathy revolutionize your personal and professional relationships? Have you ever considered that empathy could be more than just understanding others' feelings? What if we told you that empathy is not just about being nice, but about wielding a deep, objective perspective that could unlock your true potential and transform your approach to social interactions? Discover how to identify your empathy archetype, why empathy is crucial in leadership, and how it can be a superpower in your interactions. Are you ready to challenge your perceptions and cultivate a skill that guarantees meaningful connections and success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the most common misconception about empathy? How do you develop empathy and why does it seem like so many people lack it these days? Do psychopaths have empathy? – 13:02 What do most people get wrong about empathy and sympathy?  What are the 7 empathy archetypes? Forging a strong and confident brain – 19:12 How do you strengthen your brain and make it confident, and why would you want to?  What tiny habit can you work on for moments each day that will enable you to build relationships with whoever you want? The approach to empathy most people avoid – 31:39 What is the most time-efficient way to maximize your empathy? What is the best way to stand up for yourself if someone says something that makes you or someone else uncomfortable? Leaders ignore this one skill to the detriment of their business – 39:31 How can leaders and team members integrate empathy into their work environment to improve dynamics and outcomes? What 15 minute exercise can you do every morning to cultivate deeper empathy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jay Samit (@jaysamit) is a leading technology innovator and serial entrepreneur who tells us how to master personal transformation, seize opportunity, and thrive in this era of endless innovation.The Cheat Sheet:Are you living your life, or are you just paying bills until you die?Whether by choice or what's already happening, your world will be disrupted by change. It's either an obstacle or an opportunity -- the choice is yours.You don't have to be a brilliant inventor to solve today's problems; examine how existing systems can be modified and combined for new solutions.What is the Zombie Idea -- and how and why should it be cultivated?You can hire expertise, but you can't hire persistence.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jay-samit-disrupt-you-episode-467/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode:   A lonely expat wonders if he's really cut out for living abroad, but worries about reverse culture shock if he returns home. Will the social problems he faces now just follow him wherever he decides to go? Are you conceited if accepting praise and accolades makes you feel awkward? A wife, mother, and psychology honors student weighs in on advice we gave to the couple with the mismatched libidos in Fan Mail Friday #67. Where should you go to meet a career-oriented significant other who's actually significant enough to take to the next level? A listener shares a great metaphor for explaining how self-limiting beliefs really work (and why overcoming them can seem like magic to people who are only used to seeing walls). Thanks to Melanie Curtis for letting us know The Art of Charm is her favorite podcast! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-70-reverse-culture-shock/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #31! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you learn to trust yourself and your instincts (especially when it comes to money)?A doctor brings a medical perspective to some advice we gave a listener in a difficult relationship back in Fan Mail Friday #27.Do phrases like "staying at home" and "left at home" make it sound like the person raising the kids and maintaining the sanctuary is doing something less than the person who goes out and brings home the paycheck?How do you overcome a negative association with something that is unfairly lumped in with a bad experience?Stop asking if you can afford to leave a job you hate if the real question is: can you afford not to? It all depends on your risk tolerance.Sometimes the best treatment for a case of Imposter Syndrome is a dose of keeping it real.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-31-homemakers-of-the-world-unite-and-take-over/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week, Dilbert's Scott Adams rejoins us to talk about a concept called skill stacking -- and how it can put you in the top one percent of performers in any area (or mix of areas, as the case may be). Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: It's not good enough that you're really good at one thing -- because there are probably a lot of people who are also really good at that one thing. But if you can pick up other skills that complement this one thing -- like public speaking, persuasion, communicating, and writing -- you've got an edge. You're skill stacking. According to Scott, every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success. Scott says he's not a great artist, a great writer, the funniest person in the room, or a stellar businessperson, but his skill stacking of these talents makes him a unique force in the market. Did you know that Dilbert was the first syndicated comic on the Internet? That's because Scott had an early insight into the importance of this then-new medium. A cartoonist who is only a cartoonist might have missed out. In short: you don't have to be world-class in anything to succeed. If you're in the top twenty percent in a number of skills that go well together, you end up with unique enough skill stacking that will be sought by others. Listen to this episode to learn more about how to identify your own abilities, what abilities you can't go wrong in picking up, and how you can get to skill stacking today. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! To truly thrive in all areas of your life, you can't ignore the importance of good health. Try Organifi Green Juice for 20% off using code "charm" when checking out at organifi.com! The first 250 people who go to PodcastOne.study and complete the short survey will get a $25 gift card to Restaurant.com — after completing the survey, you will have the option of entering a sweepstakes for a $250 gift card! Get started here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-50-skill-stacking-top-performance/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the second episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. The Cheat Sheet: How can you start reading people quickly? When observing someone, try to remember more than appearance-based traits. Noticing more than superficial features hones your judgment and makes you more observant in a deeper way. Pay attention to how your favorite writers describe characters -- the good ones will tell you more than what's just on the surface. Challenge: For the next week, put these observations in practice as you interact with people. You'll be surprised at how naturally your radar starts to pick up clues about what makes them tick. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-2-reading-people-quickly/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover belief systems with Dr. Stan Beecham. Dr. Beecham is a sport psychologist, the director and founding member of the Leadership Resource Center, and the author of Elite Minds: How Winners Think Differently to Create a Competitive Edge and Maximize Success. Beliefs define how we think about ourselves and the world around us, so what can you do to examine your own beliefs and understand if they are leading you to a better life or a worse one, and how can you change your beliefs if you realize they’re leading you down the wrong path? What to Listen For What questions can you ask yourself to better understand your beliefs and values and how they influence your behavior? Why is it important to the people around you for you to work on yourself and constantly strive to be better? Why is happiness the wrong goal to aim for if you want a fulfilling life, and what should you aim for instead? Why is it important to examine your values and beliefs? How do your beliefs and values influence your ability to pay attention and how will they prevent you from seeing a reality that will lead you to fail? How do you rewrite the beliefs that are holding you back so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities to be successful and lead a fulfilling life? How should we perceive confidence in a way that allows us to be more confident? What can you do to overcome the urge to compare yourself to others? What you believe influences how you perceive the world around you and what you get out of life. If you want to live a better life, achieve more success, or become the best version of yourself, it’s critical that you understand what you believe and why you believe what you believe. Going through life without an understanding of your beliefs and values is like wandering through a forest with a compass without understanding what north, south, east, and west are. Sure, you can follow the arrow on the compass because that seems normal, but will that get you to where you want to be? Only by sheer luck. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Elite Minds by Dr. Beecham Dr. Beecham on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: As a "nice guy," how do you let go of an ex -- who attempted suicide when your relationship ended -- without feeling heartless? Listener feedback for Nouveau Tech (from FMF 119) about how to respond next time the opportunistic entrepreneur ex makes contact. Listener Sweet Cheeks weighs in on what she does when male coworkers dismiss her statements with infantilizing condescension. Sometimes even gun-toting manly men need real talk from honest friends -- boundaries be damned! When you're fresh out of college, don't be too quick to dismiss the experience you can get in your ideal field from working at a non-ideal place of employment. Listener Westbound and Down tells us how he used Reddit to ask questions of locals prior to moving to a new town. Is there a kind way to discourage stalker-like attention from a socially awkward person without crushing their ego? Can you help people get through the ordeal of being bullied without disclosing specific details surrounding your own ordeal? How does Jordan's advice in MM 57 to "treat everyone [we] meet as if [we're] going to know each other forever" apply if the person we're meeting happens to be a jerk right off the bat? A documentary recommendation. Quick shoutouts to the anon fan who gave Jordan some Bitcoin, and Nicholas and Amanda Bayerle of Billion Dollar Body! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/fmf122/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! The Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast talks to today's top wrestling talent and breaks down everything happening with the state of wrestling every week -- check it out here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game. Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples’ lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy? What to Listen For Why do we struggle so much trying to change people – 1:53 Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us? What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization? What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us? The 4 things people need before they’ll change – 8:30 What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want? What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change? Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations – 30:31 How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy? Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change – 46:13 What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position? Changing other people is not easy, and that’s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman Bregman Partners website Peter Bregman on LinkedIn Peter Bregman on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does the conversation often move on before you've had the time to formulate a response? Is the perfectionist inside of you too restless to enjoy how good you've really got it? How can you tell legitimate coaches apart from the money-grubbing shysters? Do you consume so much information that it's hard to make any of it stick? How can you become better at thinking on your feet in considering counter-arguments and debating your position in the moment? Why doesn't Jordan sound like he's from Michigan? What's the best way to deal with a "friend" who can't be happy for your successes? Documentaries of the week: Get Me Roger Stone and Happy People: A Year in the Taiga. Quick shoutouts to Dr. Freda Tyson in DC and Marie Saint-Pierre from Montreal! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/fmf125/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With an unmatched selection of audiobooks, original audio shows, news, and comedy, Audible is your best source for summertime entertainment. Art of Charm listeners: start a 30-day trial and download your first audiobook for free by going to audible.com/aoc here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover building high value relationships with AJ & Johnny.  Building high value relationships requires vulnerability, but what does it mean to be vulnerable, how do you know when to be vulnerable, and what are some simple strategies you can use to be more effective in relationship building? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is it important to build high value relationships? How do you start making new friends? Turn Small Talk into Smart Talk – 12:00  Why is vulnerability important when building connections with people? How do you bring vulnerability into your social interactions? The Three Levels of Vulnerability – 17:00 What is the first level of vulnerability and how do you know when to use it? How do you know when to go to the deepest level of vulnerability? What red flags should you look for in the way people react to your vulnerability? The Cave Analogy of Vulnerability – 37:50 Why is it important to lead with vulnerability before expecting others to be vulnerable? We hope that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered to build high value relationships with others. By being vulnerable and authentic, we create opportunities for true connection and intimacy. When we lead with vulnerability, it sets the tone for a more open and connected relationship in which both parties can be their true selves. What are you waiting for? Start building those connections today! A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Strength of Weak Ties by Mark S. Granovetter Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. This is the second part of a two-part series (check out part one here). The Cheat Sheet: Why is "no" the end of the discussion for a man, but the beginning of a negotiation for a woman in our culture? Understand why you should be wary of the unsolicited promise. Should we try to join our intuition to our intellect, or do the two work better on their own? Learn the difference between worry and fear -- why worrying is ultimately useless while fear can save your life. Try the Rule of Opposites exercise to calibrate your intuition in the moment. And so much more... Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Wearing a stylish timepiece shouldn't break the bank. Art of Charm listeners can find out why MVMT is the fastest-growing watch company in the world for 15% off with free shipping and free returns here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gavin-de-becker-gift-fear-pt-2-episode-581 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Harris (@danbharris) is a co-anchor of Nightline and the weekend edition of Good Morning America on ABC News. He's the author of 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works -- A True Story, about a fidgety, skeptical newsman who reluctantly became a meditator.The Cheat Sheet:If you're like most people, your deceptive inner voice acts as a malevolent puppeteer -- and it doesn't have your best interests at heart.When trying to come to terms with this malevolent puppeteer, meditation is more effective (and much easier) than you probably think.Contrary to popular misconception, meditation is more than just thinking about nothing (that's reserved for Zen masters and dead people).Even those of us with short attention spans (like Dan Harris) can learn to focus for the nanoseconds it takes to meditate and use it to come to terms with our malevolent puppeteer.The mindfulness found through meditation is a way to view the contents of our mind with nonjudgmental remove -- there are verifiable, scientific results, and there's nothing woo about it.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-harris-10-percent-happier-episode-500/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Charisma can make the difference between a fulfilling life and a depressing lonely existence, but what actually is charisma, why is it so powerful, and how can you develop it to bring out the best in you and the people around you? What to Listen For What is charisma? – 1:10 How does science define and perceive charisma? What is it about charismatic leaders that makes them stand out and what can you learn from them? Can charisma be learned? The importance of being present – 11:02 What are the three internal dials you can play with in order to figure out the level of charisma best suited for your personality? What does it mean to be present and why is it important if you want to be charismatic? Turning up your enthusiasm – 26:30 What do many people get wrong about enthusiasm and what does it mean to live with more enthusiasm? What simple changes can you make right now to be more enthusiastic in your interactions with other people? What easy steps can you take to increase your enthusiasm and put you in a better mood? Confidence is the key to unlocking your potential – 40:15 When is confidence most useful and why do those times also allow you to strengthen your confidence? Charisma might feel like something a person just has, but like many traits, it can be broken down into easily understood components. Once you understand what those components are, you can then take steps to develop them and allow your personality to shine by being a more charismatic version of yourself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift Skills vs. Attributes: What Should You Focus On Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to focus on what matters most with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven C. Hayes is a professor and author of 44 books and nearly 600 scientific articles, his career has focused on an analysis of the nature of human language and cognition and the application of this to the understanding and alleviation of human suffering. It’s easy to let your life get derailed when you don’t have a solid understanding of what matters to you, but what can you do to determine your guiding values and how can you differentiate between the important thoughts you have and those that just distract you? What to Listen For What are the 6 processes can you implement to lead a more intentional life you find fulfilling? Why is the pursuit of good feelings and avoidance of bad feelings detrimental to the human experience? Why is it important to learn how to feel, and how do you learn how to appreciate “bad” feelings? What exercise can you do before seeing someone to put yourself in a great mood? How do you differentiate between thoughts that define you and thoughts that you’re experiencing, so you don’t have to feel like crap just because you’re thinking something negative about yourself? What can you do to define your values so you have a strong guiding compass in life and don’t get bogged down by insignificant details and failures? Should we trust our experience or our minds, and why can one lead to failure and time wasted? What are the 3 C’s that can lead you to a more clearly defined and fulfilling life? How can you deal with the thoughts that lead you to failure and avoidance? There are an infinite number of things we could think about in a given day, but we only have 24 hours to experience them, so the thoughts we choose to focus on can have a lasting impact on not just our mental well being, but our long term happiness and success. Not having a solid foundation of guiding values can make it all too easy to fall into a trap of focusing on thoughts, feelings, and experiences that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm. Resources from this Episode A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Dr Steven Hayes Dr. Steven Hayes’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rob Reid (@Rob_Reid), author of After On: A Novel of Silicon Valley, will be joining us for a full episode tomorrow. But on this Minisode Monday, we share one of his exercises designed to help us cut back on some of the bad habits we have when conversing and relating with others. The Cheat Sheet: Over the next few weeks or months, record ten hours of conversations with people -- acquaintances, strangers, Lyft drivers, whoever -- using something like a voice memos app or Ecamm Call Recorder on Skype. Listen to yourself with a critical ear. It will impart priceless knowledge about how you come across to other people. We all have annoying habits we're wholly unaware of. But we also have budding conversational superpowers that we could nurture if we only knew they were lurking at the surface. Ten hours is a lot. It will make you cringe. It will also help you get rid of filler words, tics, and other unintentional habits for leaner, more powerful conversations. Get out of your comfort zone and get recording! To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-69-why-you-should-record-your-conversations-with-strangers/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Forbes Network, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Want to help PodcastOne better serve your needs? Take the survey here. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) rejoins the show to discuss how we often label the other person in a relationship as "the crazy one" and why we need to examine where we land on the narcissistic continuum. Linda is a therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love. The Cheat Sheet: After a painful breakup, have you ever casually referred to the estranged party as your "crazy ex?" It's common to chalk up the strains of complex human dynamics as the results of someone else's mental disorder when we want to avoid taking personal responsibility for them -- and this is dangerous. While a real narcissist is hard to find, we all land somewhere on the narcissistic continuum. Learn what we can do if we think we or someone we know and love might be in a relationship with a narcissist -- or even be one. Understand the difference between being a true narcissist and exhibiting narcissistic qualities. And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/580/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mental models and frameworks guide the way we make decisions in everyday life -- but what are they, where do we get them, and how can we make sure we're not sticking with outdated defaults? The Cheat Sheet: Mental models are our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and everything in it. Our mental models are made up of past experiences, misunderstandings, incomplete facts, and intuitive perceptions -- as a result, every mental model has shortcomings. Our mental models influence our actions, and our actions influence our mental models. Unhelpful mental models of the world can lead us to making bad decisions and taking ineffective actions; helpful mental models move us forward in life. We need to make sure we're using the right tool for the right job. Even outdated mental models aren't entirely valueless if we know how to adapt their relevant aspects to updated ones. And so much more... Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-mental-models-and-frameworks-episode-696/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover parenting and the CIA with Christina Hillsberg. Christina is a former CIA intelligence officer, writer, and recognized expert on women in espionage, intelligence tradecraft, and parenting, and the author of License to Parent:  Being a parent is hard enough already and now we have so much technology to worry about, so how do you teach your kids to build trust and to know who to trust, how do you properly regulate their access to video games and the internet, and how do you teach kids to recognize and avoid danger? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What should you study or work toward if you want to eventually work for the CIA or other intelligence agencies?  Teach kids to build relationships – 14:22 How do you teach your kids to deal with bullies in school? How do you build trust with your kids or stepkids? Dealing with kids and videogames – 30:30  How do you regulate the access to video games and the internet that your kids have to keep them safe? How do you teach your kids what information to trust online as well as who to trust online? Avoiding danger – 42:50  How do you teach your kids to avoid danger? What can you do to alleviate the worry and anxiety you feel as a parent? Raising kids in the digital age is a daunting task. It seems like every day we are faced with new challenges and questions about how to keep our children safe and help them grow into well-adjusted adults. But it’s important to remember that we aren’t alone in this struggle. There are plenty of resources available to us, both offline and online, and it’s important to make use of them all. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Christina Hillsberg’s website Christina Hillsberg on Instagram Christina Hillsberg on Twitter License to Parent: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids by Christina Hillsberg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Vanessa Van Edwards (check out our full episode with her here) rejoins us to talk about value languages -- the motivations we have for entering into relationships with each other. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Ever wondered how to hack motivation? It begins by understanding what people really want out of a relationship. If you think about it, all relationships are transactions in which we give and take resources. Value languages are what we hope to get out of a relationship; they can be any of the following: Information Goods Status Service Love Money Vanessa gives us ways to practice how to recognize what value languages are being used in our own relationships so we can best address the motivations behind them. This week, take a look at brags and complaints when you hear them and try to match them up with these different value languages. If you liked this one, make sure to check out Vanessa's most recent appearance on The Art of Charm: Captivate (Episode 610) To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-60-hacking-motivation-with-value-languages/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! The first 250 people who go to PodcastOne.study and complete the short survey will get a $25 gift card to Restaurant.com — after completing the survey, you will have the option of entering a sweepstakes for a $250 gift card! Get started here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris Guillebeau (@chrisguillebeau) is a bestselling author and host of the annual World Domination Summit. He's here to tell us how his new book Born for This will help you find the work you were meant to do.The Cheat Sheet:Why don't more people pursue a life of freedom/independence?The actual lottery isn't hackable, but the career lottery is.A side hustle isn't just "nice," it's a necessity.Learn the difference between hard and soft skills (and which are more valuable in the long run).Don't think like a CEO -- think like a janitor.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-guillebeau-born-episode-501/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit of meaning with Paul Bloom. Paul is Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University, is the author of six books including his newest book, The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning. The pursuit of meaning is often overshadowed by the pursuit of happiness, but which one is more important to living a fulfilling life, how are suffering, meaning, and happiness related, and what steps can you take to pursue meaning in your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does science define suffering and why is some good while some is bad? Why do we seek out sorrow, suffering, and pain in experiences like spicy food, roller coasters, scary movies, etc? Pursuit of Happiness vs Pursuit of Meaning – 11:40 How does pain lead to an increased sense of meaning in life? How does money influence our suffering and happiness? Why are people in rich countries generally happy while people in poor countries have more meaning in life? What can you do to help your children understand the difference between happiness and meaning in life? A fulfilling existence is not just about positive feelings – 31:56 Why is it important to embrace painful experiences on a regular basis? How can you find meaning in life without thinking about it or intentionally seeking it out? Is there a link between chasing prestige, status, and meaning? What is the difference between pursuing pleasure and pursuing meaning? How can anxiety prevent you from finding meaning in life and what can you do to overcome it? It is unfortunate that we put so much effort into avoiding pain, discomfort, and suffering. It is understandable from a short term perspective because it is natural for anything that feels pain to avoid things that cause pain. But it is the pain, discomfort, and suffering in our lives that leads to us learning and becoming stronger, wiser, more competent humans. This is not to say you should go outside and break your arm, but that pain is inevitable, and if we can learn to embrace it and work through it, those efforts will pay off much more in the long run than simply trying to be comfortable and safe as much as possible. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning Paul Bloom’s website Paul Bloom on Twitter Master Your Mindset with David Goggings | AoC Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit meaning and fulfillment with Yael Schonbrun. Yael is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and the author of Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much).  The pursuit of meaning has taken a back seat in the last few decades and we’re paying the price, so what can you do to introduce more meaning into your life, how should you balance meaningful and pleasurable pursuits, and how can you you strengthen the relationships that already give you meaning? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Is it more fulfilling to be great at one role in life or divide your time between multiple roles? How should you balance the pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose? Prioritizing the different roles in your life – 16:16 How do you determine which roles you should prioritize in your life when you have to take other people in your life into consideration? What should you do to preface regular one-on-one check-in conversations with your significant other and kids to strengthen the important relationships in your life? Strategies to Create Space for Strengthening Relationships – 29:40  What strategies can you implement on a weekly basis to make sure the relationships you care about don’t fall apart?  Adding for improvement vs subtraction for simplicity – 46:54 Should we prioritize adding things to our lives or subtracting things from our lives if we want to be happier and more fulfilled? It can be difficult to determine how to balance the different pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose in our lives. We often have a lot of competing demands on our time and energy. But if we want to live happier and more fulfilling lives, it’s important that we take the time to figure out what’s most important to us and then put in the effort to make sure those things stay a priority. There is no one perfect answer for everyone – each individual will need to find what works best for them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much) Dr. Yael Schonbrun | Dos and Don’ts of Modern Dating Dr. Yael Schonbrun on Twitter Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Getting a no is part of the process to get a yes."No one ever died from getting a no." -Andrea WaltzThe Cheat Sheet:Why did her husband propose while she was trying on shoes in Macy's?How to reframe your model of failure and success.The one simple way to get in the top 10% of business.What is focused failure and how can you implement it?The key to dealing with fear of failure in the moment.And so much more...For most of our lives we've been programmed to go for the yes. But what if getting a yes was as simple as getting more noes? Our guest today says it is, and she's got the evidence to prove it!Andrea Waltz, author of Go For No, joins us for episode 404 of The Art of Charm to talk about how to reframe our experience of the word no and failure, how to get our egos out of the way when we get a no, how to set no goals and how to practically apply all of this in our career and personal lives.Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator!More About This ShowAndrea Waltz is an international speaker and author who teaches people how to go for no. She fell in love with the idea of seeing no as a way to success. After a story her now-husband shared with her she realized mediocre results and mediocre lives occur because people avoid getting noes. They see a no as a failure, rather than part of the process on the way to success.On today's episode she shares how to reframe your model of success and failure to create more ease and more success, what focused failure is and how to overcome fear in the moment to take action.Most of us have been told from early on that no is a bad thing. It means you've done something wrong and you're being rejected. But Andrea encourages you to see a no as a good thing, see it for what it is: part of the process on the road to success.In fact she says setting no goals is beneficial: pick a number of noes you want to get in a week and then go for it. As you get those noes and hit your goals you should celebrate them, and look for feedback. Why are people saying no? Ask the people who say no what you could've done or said differently to get a yes.When you use that approach, whether in business or dating or anywhere else in your life, you'll be more at ease. You're more likely to feel tense and have tense interactions if you are focused on a yes. But if you're actively seeking noes then you're okay with whatever response you get, and that creates a sense of confidence.And that's part of focused failure: setting a no goal, getting feedback from all the noes, receiving that feedback without letting your ego get the better of you and then implementing that feedback in your next quest for noes. Andrea says to test fast, try fast and fail fast: that is how you achieve success.Andrea also explains how she and her husband celebrate noes, why deep breathing helps overcome fears and helps you go for no, and whether or not other cultures view no differently. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm.THANKS ANDREA WALTZ!If you enjoyed this session with Andrea Waltz, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter:Click here to thank Andrea on Twitter!Resources from this episode:Andrea Waltz's web siteGo For No, Andrea Waltz's bookAndrea Waltz on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcampsAlso sponsored by:You'll also like:-The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm PodcastWanna leave a comment? Too bad!  Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunesClick here to subscribe via RSSYou can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhoneEmail jordan@theartofcharm.comGive us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the mastery of sales with Jeb Blount. Jeb is the best-selling author of over 13 books and among the world’s most respected thought leaders on sales, leadership, and customer experience. He helps leaders to develop leadership and coaching skills and shows them how to apply a more effective organizational design and cultivate a high performance sales culture. Sales is often considered a field for extroverts, so why do world-class salespeople consider introverts to have the greatest potential, what can you do as an introvert to become a great salesperson, and what is the biggest challenge introverts face in sales? What to Listen For How Jeb Blount get started in sales – 1:06 Can introverts be world-class performers in sales? What are the three myths about sales? – 5:35 What are the five basic questions people ask themselves about you when talking to you? What do so many people get wrong about being great at sales? What is the greatest gift you can give another human being and why is that gift critical in the world of sales? The one problem introverts have in sales – 9:46 What are the two types of listening and when should you use each one? What can you do to stop making assumptions? – 23:45 What is the WAIT acronym and how can you use it to keep yourself in check when interacting with potential customers? Why are moments of silence in conversation so important in sales? Theses traits mean certain failure for people new to sales – 35:00 What is one of the biggest hurdles entrepreneurs face when starting a business for the first time? What can you do to overcome yesterday’s mistakes every day you wake up? Strategies for handling objections – 46:45 What framework can you use for overcoming objections? What is the difference between a good salesperson and a great salesperson? Introverts aren’t regularly associated with great salesmanship, but as the world evolves, introverts have an edge in sales. People want to be valued and they want to be understood. The more you can listen and ask questions, the better idea you will have about how you can solve their problem. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Jeb Blount’s website Sales Gravy Sales EQ by Jeb Blount Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak) grew up in Greensburg, PA, honed his musical chops in Chapel Hill, NC, and now runs The Art of Charm in Los Angeles, CA with AJ. But how did he get from there to here? Listen while Johnny shares his story. The Cheat Sheet: Who is Johnny Dzubak? What is The Rust Belt Scowl? What did musical aspirations teach Johnny about social dynamics? How did Johnny and AJ meet and really become friends? Does Johnny consider himself an introvert or an extrovert? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-aj-interviews-johnny-episode-698/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daniel DiPiazza (@rich20something) is the founder of Rich20Something -- an education platform that teaches millennials how to build businesses they care about -- and author of Rich20Something: Ditch Your Average Job, Start an Epic Business, and Score the Life You Want. The Cheat Sheet: The psychology of entrepreneurialism -- the social media hype vs. the reality of starting your own business. The Seven Maxims of Entrepreneurship. The dip -- how to bounce back from an entrepreneurial slump. Making the transition from freelancer to entrepreneur to CEO. The surprising lesson Tupac can teach struggling entrepreneurs. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/daniel-dipiazza-rich20something-bonus/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julian Guthrie (@JulianGuthrie) is an award-winning journalist and bestselling author. She joins us to discuss her new book How to Make a Spaceship: A Band of Renegades, an Epic Race, and the Birth of Private Spaceflight. The Cheat Sheet: How Julian Guthrie gets in touch with hard-to-reach people. The types of habits and backgrounds shared by the movers and shakers of the aerospace industry -- itself a magnet for high achievers. How incentive competitions can spark an industry or even jumpstart a lagging field -- and why. Why it's crucial to be relentless in the pursuit of your vision and able to convey the sincerity of your passion. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of consistent rejection. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/julian-guthrie-make-spaceship-episode-577/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeff Goins (@JeffGoins) rejoins us to dispel a disheartening stereotype and discuss his new book Real Artists Don't Starve: Timeless Strategies for Thriving in the New Creative Age. "A starving artist is somebody who is unnecessarily suffering for the sake of their gift." -Jeff Goins The Cheat Sheet: Why be a starving artist like van Gogh when you can be a thriving artist like Michelangelo? How do you go from tinkering as a hobbyist to making money from your craft? How to distinguish yourself in a crowd of amateurs. Ways to utilize your day job to support your crafty side hustle. How to stick to your guns and stay motivated when people don't want to pay you what you're worth. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/662/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! As security breaches make headlines with increasing frequency, is your identity protected? Go to LifeLock.com or call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code FORBES for 10% off your LifeLock membership! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code CHARM at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with 4 of the world’s leading experts on the topic: Arthur C. Brooks, Dr. Robert Waldinger, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and Christoph Schnedlitz.  Happiness and purpose make a life worth living, but what factors contribute to and take away from your ability to be happy, what role do relationships play in your happiness, and how do you build happiness that doesn’t depend on what’s happening in your life?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who are the world’s leading experts on happiness?  Building Happiness – 3:50 What simple question can you ask yourself to build life-changing happiness? Success Addiction – 12:00 How do you get addicted to success and what can you do to break the addiction? Harvard Happiness Study – 14:24 What is the Harvard Happiness Study and what can you learn from the results to foster happiness in your life? Social Media and Happiness – 24:25 How does social media affect global happiness and what can you do to protect yourself from its effects? Relationships and Happiness – 29:02 How much do your relationships influence your lifetime happiness? What can you do to maintain the relationships in your life that bring you happiness? What are the biggest happiness myths? The 3 Happiness Skills – 40:35 What skills should you work on to build resilient happiness? Why is boredom an important component of happiness? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -What do I do when someone really "gets my goat"? -Does AoC take BitCoin? -Is it important to drink when I go out? -Should I call people out when I see them doing something wrong? HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you overcome the need for external validation in a good relationship that's suffering from the fallout of past bad relationships? What's the best way to prepare for the death of a terminally ill loved one when you've still got a little time to spend with them and basic 21st century technology? A ten-year podcast listener and AoC Bootcamp alumnus weighs in on life changes three years since attending. Is it more cringeworthy to admit when we don't know something, or to pause a conversation mid-flow to go look it up on Google? Make America smarter? What dat mean? Wondering how to leave a voice message that will actually get you a response? Here's an example. Is it reasonable to expect an honest answer from your ex about where your relationship went wrong? It really depends on why you're asking. Shoutouts to Theresa Kwayi and Chris Gonzales at Harley Davidson and Adil B. from Bangalore! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Wonder what can happen when strangers get legally married the moment they first meet? Tune in to a new episode of Married at First Sight every Thursday at 9/8c on Lifetime! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf118/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle learning excellence with Eric Potterat and Alan Eagle. Eric is one of the world's leading performance psychologists, a retired US naval commander, a lead psychologist for the US Navy Seals, the Los Angeles Dodgers, and co-author of Learned Excellence: Mental Disciplines for Leading and Winning from the World's Top Performers. His co author, Allan Eagle, is a colleague of Dr. Potterat’s at Google and best selling author himself. He was blown away by Dr Potterat’s lessons and wanted to co-author a book To share Eric's knowledge with the world.  How can the mental disciplines used by the world's elite performers transform not just your career, but how you connect with others? We uncover the secrets to achieving unparalleled success and fulfillment, learning from experts who've coached the best, from Navy SEALs to top business leaders, on learning excellence, becoming visible in elite circles to unlock career opportunities, and the 6 pillars of performance you need to master to become elite.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What simple exercise can you do to improve your performance in every area of your daily life? The mindset shift most that causes most people to give up – 14:00 What do you do when effort and hard work are not enough to perform at your best or reach your goals? What is the key to becoming excellent at anything you choose to pursue, even if you’re currently terrible at it? How do you know if you’re on the right path – 27:20 What can you look for to figure out if you’re on the right path or using the right process to solve your problem? What can you do to get yourself ready before a big speech or pitch to manage stress, and how do you manage the stress in the moment? How do elite performers take valuable experience from everything they do – 37:50 What are the 6 pillars you should always maintain in life to create the greatest resilience before life inevitably kicks you in the face? Unlocking elite performance in your children – 45:54 How do you help your children learn excellence? What questions can you ask your kids everyday to achieve their potential? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover how to become the super connector everyone wants to know.    Super Connectors aren't born with some special talent. By understanding what others value from a connection, focusing on how each person can help the other rather than focusing on what's in it for themselves, and making sure all interactions leave both parties feeling inspired and motivated, super connectors make invaluable connections that open doors to success. In this episode we explore what makes a successful super connector as well as simple steps to get on track towards becoming one yourself. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Adam Grant and the Secret to Effective Networking – 3:35 How do you amplify your social capital and build a high value network in five minutes? What is the secret to making your networking efforts more effective? Super Connector Toolbox – 28:40  What is the best way to introduce two people you think will benefit from knowing each other? What’s the best way to follow up with someone you meet at a networking event? Keith Ferrazzi and Upgrading Acquaintances to Friends – 36:50 What are the 8 attributes of a high performing relationship? How do you turn an acquaintance into a lifelong friend? Building a high value network and amplifying your social capital need not be a long, drawn out process. Just five minutes a day can go a long way in making your connections more valuable and meaningful. Start by introducing two people that you think could benefit from knowing each other, as this is a great way to get the ball rolling. Following up with someone soon after meeting them at an event is important to foster a new relationship. Connecting on an emotional level, being sincere, and sharing your knowledge are all essential pieces for creating strong bonds with others.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Chris Donaghue (@ChrisDonaghue) is one of only a few hundred people in the entire world certified as a sex therapist, so you'll want to hear what he has to say about the myths of sexual dysfunctions, accepting your desires (even if they don't align with societal expectations), and how to develop healthy sex and dating habits.The Cheat Sheet:Cultures that embrace sexuality have lower rates of teen pregnancy and STDs, and pornography-tolerant societies have lower rates of sex crimes.What constitutes healthy sex?Believe it or not, there's no right (or wrong) way to have an erection.Is sex addiction a myth?The concept of gender "norms": we're doing it wrong.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-donaghue-sex-outside-the-lines-episode-462/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover the importance of improvising with Kelly Leonard. Kelly's career in the theater industry began by accident. He was hired as a dishwasher at Second City in Chicago, where he met John Favreau. He realized improv was not magic, but a skill that could be practiced and applied in business, parenting, and relationships. Kelly established himself as an executive producer for Second City, coordinating performances for generations of comics, actors, and writers. Kelly has written a book, "Yes, And," outlining how he believes the core principles behind improvisation can be applied to spark and drive collaboration. In this episode of The Art of Charm, we explore the world of improvisation and its many benefits in communication, comedy, and creativity. From empathy and collaboration to resilience through failure, our guest speaker shares his experiences using improv to navigate ambiguity and uncertainty. We discuss the importance of listening, reframing, and storytelling, as well as the concept of post traumatic growth.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did Kelly Leonard get started in improv? Why is improv important for innovation? The Core Principles of Improv – 10:58 What are the core principles of improv and why do they apply to many areas of life? How do you lead a healthy conversation with someone you disagree with? The Magic of Mistakes – 24:02  How do we leverage mistakes to create success or make progress toward your goals? What simple exercise can you use to reframe negative events in your life to be positive? Creating Comedy – 42:30 How do you formally create comedy? How do you give status to people you’re talking to? What simple tool can you start using today to make conversations easier, engaging, and more fun for anyone involved? Many of us are familiar with improv comedy but did you know the principles of improv can be used in business, parenting, and relationships? Every time you have a conversation with someone, you are improvising because you can’t predict what the other person will say and so you must improvise every time the other person responds to something you say. The best conversations are fluid and dynamic, making both people feel comfortable and natural. But to be good at improvising, you must practice it just like you would any other skill.  Resources from this Episode Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses "No, But" Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration by Kelly Leonard Kelly Leonard on Twitter Second City’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year-long Harvard study of adult life, and the co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Our social fitness was shaken over the last few years thanks to the lockdown, so what can we use from the longest study on happiness to improve our social fitness and rebuild lost relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did the “Harvard Happiness Study” come about? What is the Harvard Study of Adult Development and how did it start? Social Fitness – 13:01 What is social fitness and how did the pandemic affect your social fitness? The Biggest Motivation for Self Development – 24:18 What gives you the greatest motivation to improve your life? What is the secret to happiness and how do you implement it at any age? How do you make new friends? – 37:11 What should you say when you want to reconnect with someone? How to stop feeling lonely? How do you start a conversation with a coworker? What are unhappy marriages missing? – 46:00 How do happy couples stay happy forever and how can you implement in your relationship? The Harvard Study of Adult Development turned out to be the longest running study about what makes people happy. Considering the increase in mental health issues and loneliness that we experienced over the last few years, the wisdom learned from the study has the potential to help us recover our pre-pandemic social fitness and get back enjoying life again. A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Additional Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode Harvard Study of Adult Development website The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness Dr. Robert Waldinger’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #49! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Be careful of giving too much significance to someone you think of as a "significant other" -- especially if years have passed and you've only interacted online or by phone.A college enrollment counselor responds to a question last week regarding deportation and passes along what may prove to be important information about Optional Practical Training.Is it "once a cheater, always a cheater," or "once a snooper, always a snooper?" Therapy may provide the answers you seek.A mom responds to the listener who was wondering how to justify to his wife the benefits of coming to an AoC bootcamp.Your good friend confides in you that she was having an affair with someone who's married and has kids, but it's ended and she's devastated. What do you do?When most components of a relationship are ideal but one person grew up working hard for every penny and the other person never had to, how can you balance the dynamic?We can find some serious gold in the emotional buttons that trigger us. Find out what those triggers mean, how to find them, and what to do about them in Jordan's new video here!Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-49-do-it-for-the-children/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover finding your life mission and turning it into a business with Brett Hagler. Brett is the CEO and Co-Founder of New Story, a Y Combinator graduate, and a cancer survivor recognized on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, named one of the Top 100 Most Intriguing Entrepreneurs by Goldman Sachs, and his company was named among Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Companies in the World” four different times. It’s no easy task to decide on a life mission, so what can you do figure out what yours is, why is it important to find work you’re passionate about or at least interested in, and how should you handle risk-taking and failure when pursuing a business idea that goes against the grain of mainstream thinking? What to Listen For What is New Story and why should you know about it? – 2:04 How did Brett Hagler realize solving homelessness is his life mission? What can you do to figure out what your life mission is? Why you should strive to do work you’re passionate about – 17:05 What hidden price do we pay for doing work we don’t find interesting or exciting? How can 3D printing be used to solve homelessness around the world? What’s it like going through Y-Combinator as a non-profit organization? How affordable will 3D-printed houses be and how soon will you be able to buy one? Building a base of loyal customers when starting a business – 33:50 What can you do to build a genuine connection with your customers when first starting a business that will set you apart from your competitors? How do you overcome self doubt when trying something new or experiencing success for the first time? What counterintuitive advice should you think about when starting and scaling a business if you don’t want to lose your best talent to your competition? Key strategies for handling failures in business – 47:50 What are the two ways to approach risk-taking when running a business and why should you avoid one? What are some of New Story’s greatest success stories? It’s true that the journey to finding your life mission is not easy. But if you want to be successful, it's worth taking the time and effort to find what you are passionate about—or at very least interested in doing. When starting a business for yourself, make sure you properly connect with your customers by providing them high-quality products they can't get anywhere else. And when failure strikes (and it will), use a few key strategies to handle tough times until better days come around again. Remember, "failure is just another word for opportunity." A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Brett Hagler’s website Brett Hagler on LinkedIn Brett Hagler on Twitter Brett Hagler on Instagram New Story website New Story on YouTube New Story on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: Understanding people in person can be challenging enough. So how do we read between the lines when people write to us to determine the best advice to give? How do you remind yourself to do the doorway drill (as discussed on episode 582)? You don't really need to listen to The Art of Charm podcast anymore because you've got a handle on this stuff, right? Dr. Carol Dweck would probably disagree. Jordan is SUPER EXCITED TODAY! It's okay to be more respectful than you think you need to be. How do you get a cab in a busy city? Want our advice but you don't want your question made public? We can give you a secret identity! Need to make some ice, ice, baby? Jordan takes a strong Stance on socks. Do you tweet? Sweet! You can reach Jordan here and Jason here. Shoutouts to Jeff Ammons, Philip "Foxy" T, and Alex Kouts, for that matter! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! What's the art of mastering the nap? Check out the Ben Greenfield Fitness Podcast here once you're done hitting the snooze button for the 17th time! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf103/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kevin Kelly (@kevin2kelly) is the founding editor of Wired magazine and, most recently, author of The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future. The Cheat Sheet: Technology is an extension of the natural process of evolution. What's driving technology; what will the future look like? Why Artificial Intelligence (AI) is the biggest thing since electricity. Ways humanity will interact with future technology and AI -- and how it will change our lives in ways we can scarcely imagine. How technology will actually make us better humans. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kevin-kelly-inevitable-future-episode-559/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This short episode is for those of you wondering where all the previous shows have gone or are new to The Art of Charm Podcast.   You can find all of our episodes at http://theartofcharm.com/category/podcast-episodes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 13th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges author and recent guest Amy Cuddy joins us to talk about something a lot of us experience: Imposter Syndrome. The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you don't belong where you are? That you don't deserve what you have? That everyone else is smarter than you? You might be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. This doesn't just apply to high achievers -- it happens to almost everyone (80%), and is not limited by demographic. Do you remove yourself from situations where you worry you might be "found out" for not being good enough? Common avoidances: speaking at events, performing, taking on challenges, and talking about this feeling with anyone else -- because we feel completely alone in this condition. Pluralistic Ignorance: the feeling that everyone else knows something we don't know. Imposter Syndrome activates the same centers in the brain as pain. It feeds itself: the more we succeed, the more we feel we're getting undue attention, and the more likely we're going to be "found out." We can't say no to opportunities just because we feel threatened with discovery. The best thing we can do if we find ourselves experiencing Imposter Syndrome is talking about it with others. We might be surprised to find that, while opening up to someone we trust, they'll admit feeling this way, too. We're not alone. To learn more about social dynamics and overcoming conditions like Imposter Syndrome, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-13-overcoming-imposter-syndrome HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover how lessons learned by a special forces veteran can be applied to the worlds of business, finance, strategy, and marketing."It's not survival of the fittest; it's survival of the most adaptable." -Robert Patrick LewisThe Cheat Sheet:The worst time to plan for an emergency is after it's already happened.Understand the importance of teamwork, but be prepared to rely on your own strengths and adapt to a situation for those times when teamwork falls through.How much could you write if you never had writer's block?Why is there a disconnect between veterans and the HR departments of companies that want to hire them?How can military and combat experience be used in the business world?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/robert-patrick-lewis-green-beret-mba-episode-439/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Corporate culture is only as boring and stagnant -- or exciting and thriving -- as the people who create it."You can never really create culture...but you can design all these elements around it the same way you can design a house for the kind of interactions you want to have." -Robert RichmanThe Cheat Sheet:What is a culture architect? (03:53)Why should you care about corporate culture -- even if you don't own or work for a company? (08:10)How can hacker philosophy be adopted by people who feel powerless to change their existing culture? (14:35)Leaders and workers take note: a self-organizing workforce can be the most efficient, maximized workforce. (24:09)How do we develop relevance? (25:42)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/robert-richman-the-culture-blueprint-bonus/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle networking secrets with four leading networking experts. The experts on this compilation are Karen Wickre, author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Matthew Pollard, the author of The Introvert's Edge to Networking, David Siegel, a close friend of ours and the CEO of meetup.com, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. With insights from experienced guests Karen Wickre, Matthew Pollard, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson, we explore the art of networking, both in person and online, while debunking common misconceptions about introverts and showcasing their unique strengths in the networking game. Join us as we explore the importance of storytelling, the value of research and preparation, and the significance of maintaining genuine connections over time.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How could mastering the art of professional networking unlock doors you never knew existed in today's dynamic career landscape? As an introvert, what hidden strengths do you possess that could turn networking from a daunting task into your greatest ally in success? 5 Strategies to Crush Networking Events that Most Will Ignore – 13:10 Discover the ultimate strategies that transform ordinary networking encounters into life-changing connections — are you missing out? What if I told you that in just 5 minutes, you can turn a casual chat at a networking event into a lasting, impactful relationship? The Key Component of Networking Everyone Overlooks – 22:26 Ever wonder what makes certain people magnetic in any room? Uncover the key component of networking that ensures you're never forgotten Are you approaching networking events all wrong? Learn how to research potential connections effectively and transform your next event into a goldmine of opportunities Feeling lost at networking events? Set these simple yet powerful missions for yourself and watch how drastically your experience changes Tips to Not Be Forgotten After an Event – 32:08 What's the one crucial step you must take after a networking event to ensure your new connections turn into meaningful, long-term relationships? Should You Be Direct or Indirect – 41:50 How does adopting a more direct approach in your interactions lead to more meaningful connections, and what might you be risking by avoiding this strategy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of competition with Ashley Merryman. Ashley is the Non-Resident Senior Fellow for the Joint Special Operations University and author of Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing. Competition can be healthy and unhealthy, so how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition, what are the differences between how introverts and extroverts handle competition, and how does gender play a role in competition? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the biggest myths surrounding competition and trying to be number one? What are the benefits of competition? Healthy vs Unhealthy Competition – 9:00  What is the difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition? Where does the fear of failure come from? Overcome Fear of Failure – 15:30 What is the difference between a challenge and a threat and how can one lead you to failure while the other leads to success? What can you do to overcome the fear of failure when you know people are watching you? Don’t Think About Pink Elephants – 29:40 What can you do to start being competitive again after a severe loss? What are the differences between men and women when it comes to competition and competitive environments? What role does gender play in competition? Introverts vs Extroverts in Competition – 56:20 Why do introverts and extroverts approach competition differently and how can you use that knowledge to improve your ability to compete whether you are an introvert or extrovert? Competition can be a powerful motivator, but it’s important to make sure that you are using it in a healthy way. When competition becomes destructive and fear-based, it ruins our relationships and keeps us from achieving our goals. By understanding your own tendencies and working on overcoming your fears, you can learn to use competition in a positive way that unlocks your full potential. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Ashley Merryman Ashley Merryman’s website Ashley Merryman on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you find your default mode is negative, how do you snap out of it? I use something called the Three Positive Things drill. This is not the same as what I usually dismiss about the positive thinking camp. When something bad happens, it's easy to complain. So I challenge you to do this instead: force yourself to think of three positive things about what's bothering you. You can't control an event, but you can control your reaction to it. For example, when I got water all over my pants in the airport washroom before a 14-hour flight, I considered: 1) my pants were actually kind of waterproof, 2) I got a funny story out of it, and 3) I didn't get any on my new shoes, so it wasn't really a big deal. It may sound ridiculous, but the Three Positive Things Drill actually forces your logical brain to reach (sometimes pretty far) for the inobvious and distracts your emotional brain from getting upset. It also helps you build habits that make you a more positive person in your daily life. To learn more about social dynamics and developing good habits that will have a positive impact on your life, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-18-three-positive-things-drill/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brian Koppelman (@BrianKoppelman) was a blocked writer until he was 30. Now, he's the showrunner, co-creator, and executive producer of Billions on Showtime and the host of Slate's The Moment podcast. How did he turn things around? He's here to discuss this and share his Hollywood stories with us on The Art of Charm. "The armchair quarterback is easy to filter out; just look and see what kind of work they're producing." -Brian Koppelman The Cheat Sheet: Law school is an expensive (but not completely useless) place to learn life lessons. How do you know when you've done work of "undeniable" quality -- in the absolute sense? The line between being an artist and being delusional is very thin. If you want to be a screenwriter, read a thousand screenplays. We focus so much on the hustle that sometimes we forget to focus on the work. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/brian-koppelman-making-billions-episode-487/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover culture with Dr Marcus Collins. Marcus is an award-winning marketer and cultural translator, the head of strategy at Wieden+Kennedy New York, a clinical assistant professor of marketing at the Ross School of Business, University of Michigan, and the author of For the Culture: The Power Behind What We Buy, What We Do, and Who We Want to Be.  Introduction Culture is as much a part of everyday life as the air we breathe, but how do we define what a culture is, what is the secret that marketers use to tap into culture and motivate you to take action, and how do you build your own culture (or find a new one)? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does the word culture mean and why is culture so important to us? What are the three systems that make up culture? Fast Culture vs Slow Culture – 15:15 Why do certain aspects of culture move faster than others and how do they influence each other? Why is it taboo to talk openly about politics, religion, and money?  Role Theory – 30:11 What is role theory and how is it embedded in every culture? What is the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation? How do you turn a trend into a cultural phenomenon – 45:28 What is a cultural contagion and what two factors determine whether something becomes an official part of a culture? If you’re not part of a culture, how do you understand a culture to appreciate it and understand where members of that culture are coming from? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeff Goins (@Jeff Goins) transitioned into his own dream job as a full-time writer; now he helps others overcome common myths and misconceptions about the journey so they can find and answer their own callings.The Cheat Sheet:Everyone has a calling -- how do we use our own life lessons to identify and follow that calling?Discovering what you were meant to do will probably surprise you.Why does fear so often keep us from taking risks?We're born knowing how to dance, but we learn shame.Learn how to make yourself more afraid of not trying than failing.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jeff-goins-how-to-find-your-calling-episode-463/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Commander Chris Hadfield (check out our full episode with him here) was the first Canadian to walk in space, but the experience went far from smoothly. In this Minisode Monday, he explains how he went temporarily blind but still managed to finish the task before him -- and what we on Earth might learn from his ordeal. The Cheat Sheet: Humans didn't evolve in zero gravity; you can never overtrain for life in orbit. If you can't navigate to the bathroom in the middle of the night, imagine trying to build a robot in space without being able to see. When something goes wrong, an astronaut must heed the immortal words of Douglas Adams: "Don't panic." We could all learn from what Chris Hadfield did when he found himself blind in space. What would you do if you were in his astroboots? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Forbes Network, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-58-chris-hadfield-boss-space/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Srdja Popovic (@SrdjaPopovic) is the author of Blueprint for Revolution: How to Use Rice Pudding, Lego Men, and Other Nonviolent Techniques to Galvanize Communities, Overthrow Dictators, or Simply Change the World. The Cheat Sheet: What do revolutions and businesses have in common? Why nonviolence is more popular (and more effective). Why there are no charismatic leaders in the most successful revolutions. How to make a revolution cool by using comedy. How was '90s Serbia like Middle Earth in the era of The Lord of The Rings (Hobbits and all)? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/srdja-popovic-blueprint-for-revolution-episode-548/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, we address why graduating from school into the workforce isn't a pass to stop learning. The world is constantly changing, and the true professional is a perpetual student. Understand why learning and growth should be seen as a prerequisite for success -- not a distraction. The Cheat Sheet - Learning Is Earning Entering the workforce after graduating with a diploma or certificate or degree is no excuse to stop learning. In fact, the savvy and successful know it's just the beginning. A lawyer legally needs to keep learning just to keep his or her license, but anyone who wants to be good at what they do should follow this example -- whatever their field. In short: if you want to succeed at any level, you're never "done" learning. Learning and growth should be seen as a prerequisite for success -- not a distraction. How many books did you read last year? People at the top of their field could probably rattle off a dozen. But the average for someone who thinks they're done with learning? Fewer than one. How do you invest in your own learning? Set aside some time and read (or listen to) a book in your field. Even better: do it at work with your team. You'll see measurable results. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm47/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aubrey Marcus (@AubreyMarcus) is a multisport athlete, founder and CEO of holistic health and fitness powerhouse Onnit, and author of the upcoming Own the Day, Own Your Life: Optimized Practices for Waking, Working, Learning, Eating, Training, Playing, Sleeping, and Sex. The Cheat Sheet: How do you find someone who's a good fit for your company or team? What should be expected of a new recruit at entry level, and what can he or she learn on the job? Why should you always strive to hire people who are better than you? Dealing with patent trolls, haters, and other predators. Why ROI isn't always the obvious bottom line. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/665/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Save time. Look great. Stitch Fix is the personal styling service customized to your fit, lifestyle, and spending preferences. Get started now at stitchfix.com/CHARM and you'll also get 25% off when you keep all five items in your box! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code CHARM at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marcus Luttrell and David "Rut" Rutherford of Team Never Quit (@Team_neverquit) join us to talk about how you don't have to be in the military to develop the discipline necessary to reach your goals. The Cheat Sheet: How did Marcus Luttrell summon the strength to survive the ordeal he describes in his book (and in the movie) Lone Survivor? What mental practices do Navy SEALs use to block distraction and stay focused on the task at hand? Being the elite of the elite, do Navy SEALs ever suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you keep traumatic events from completely defining you? Will we be the guys who don't screw up an interview with Marcus Luttrell? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/marcus-luttrell-david-rutherford-team-never-quit-episode-564/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is the clock ticking on your window for big adventures? Consider mini-retirements. How do you tell your conservative religious family that maybe you've decided to go a different way -- especially when being disowned is a possibility? Is there a cure for 21st century millennial loneliness? Is there a cognitive difference between listening to audiobooks and visual reading? When you're growing good corn in this day and age, you've got more good neighbors than you may realize. How do you deal with a coworker who acts like they have complete disdain for you? Can you make your resting face more approachable? If Jordan had to be a lawyer again, what would be his specialty? A quick shoutout to Mo the Uber driver in Denver! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf121/ The Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast talks to today's top wrestling talent and breaks down everything happening with the state of wrestling every week -- check it out here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to get, you've got to give. And if you want to give, you're already ahead in the game of true success. "I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew what I didn't want to do at an early age." -Aaron Walker The Cheat Sheet: When considering true success, it's important to aim for significance. A healthy balance between life and work isn't some far-fetched myth. How can competitors be your strongest allies? Why is it important to keep in touch with former colleagues? Having an impact on others pays more dividends than self-absorption. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aaron-walker-steps-to-a-productive-day-episode-434 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris Hadfield (@Cmdr_Hadfield) is an engineer, former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot, retired astronaut, the first Canadian to walk in space, and author of An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth and The Darkest Dark. "The big decisions are the easy ones." -Commander Chris Hadfield The Cheat Sheet: The difference between "I want to be" and "I want to turn myself into." Enjoying small victories along a path of preparation and personal growth vs. grand "make it or break it" expectations. How intense is imposter syndrome for a newly selected astronaut? What's the astronaut's (as well as earthling's) best antidote for fear? What really happens when you sneeze in space? And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! To truly thrive in all areas of your life, you can't ignore the importance of good health. Try Organifi Green Juice for 20% off using code "charm" when checking out at organifi.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/625/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 12th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. We take on roles when interacting with others. But are we in control of the roles we play, or do they come about by default or inaction? Let's find out here! The Cheat Sheet: When interacting with others, we all play roles. Sometimes these roles complement each other, and sometimes they clash. We don't always choose the roles we play. Sometimes they just happen by default or plain inaction. When two people are working together to get something done, one person may take the supporting role of ladder holder and the other, the ladder climber. In the ladder example, there's nothing wrong with taking on either role. But did you arrive at your respective roles by choice, or did one of you take the initiative to select one and the other just fell into the one left over? This week, think about the roles you play at home. Think about the roles you play at work. Think about the roles you play among your friends. Which roles do you have by choice, and which roles do you have by default or inaction? For whom are you holding the ladder when you shouldn't be? To learn more about social dynamics you can put to use, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-12-playing-roles-and-holding-ladders/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cameron Herold (@CameronHerold) tells us how we can double our revenue and profit in three years or less in his book Double Double.The Cheat Sheet:What's the real harm in a serial entrepreneur's lack of focus?Sometimes, working backwards is the best way forward.What does R&D really stand for?Learn why you should work on your B team to make them A players and lose the C players.Focus your learning on what's coming next.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cameron-herold-double-double-episode-481/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the transformative power of defiance and the role it plays in aligning with our values with Dr. Sunita Sah, a renowned expert in decision-making and organizational psychology. A professor, speaker, and consultant, Dr. Sah empowers leaders to navigate complex ethical landscapes and make principled choices. As the author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, she redefines what it means to stand up for your values, offering practical tools to resist undue influence and cultivate moral courage.  Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah as she redefines what it means to say "no" in a world that pressures us to say "yes." Why do we so often comply with demands that go against our values? How can we cultivate the courage to resist undue influence while staying true to ourselves? Dr. Sah delves into the psychology of defiance, the societal impact of compliance, and the powerful ripple effects of standing up for what matters most. Learn how to align your actions with your core values, navigate social pressure with confidence, and become a moral maverick in both your personal and professional life. Discover actionable strategies to unlock the transformative power of principled defiance and reshape the world around you. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 Why is defiance often misunderstood, and how can it be a proactive force for positive change? What is Dr. Sah’s new definition of defiance, and how does it differ from traditional perceptions? Why is acting in accordance with your values crucial in resisting social pressure? How do everyday acts of compliance and dissent shape society at large? Understanding Social Pressure and Compliance – 00:06:09 How does societal conditioning teach us to equate compliance with goodness? What is insinuation anxiety, and how does it inhibit people from resisting bad advice? Why do so many professionals, from healthcare workers to airline crew members, hesitate to speak up in critical situations? The Defiance Compass: A Framework for Decision-Making – 00:18:45 What are the five elements required for true defiance, and how do they align with the concept of informed consent? How can identifying your core values and understanding a situation help you determine when to defy? What are the psychological and physical costs of living out of alignment with your values? How does chronic compliance lead to burnout, stress, and regret? Why is acknowledging and addressing your internal tension a critical step toward principled defiance? Building the Courage to Defy – 00:28:09 How can practicing defiance in low-stakes situations help you build the confidence to act in higher-stakes moments? Why is visualization and scripting important for preparing to act on your values? How can asking clarifying questions like “What do you mean by that?” create powerful ripple effects in group dynamics? Becoming a Moral Maverick – 00:46:04 What does it mean to be a moral maverick, and how can practicing defiance create lasting change? How do small acts of principled defiance lead to greater personal fulfillment and societal impact? What mindset shifts are required to stop equating compliance with being good and embrace defiance as a positive force? How can understanding and practicing principled defiance improve your personal and professional relationships? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we discuss the art of exceptional communication and the traits that set extraordinary individuals apart with Joe Navarro, a globally recognized expert in nonverbal communication and human behavior. As a retired FBI Special Agent, Joe spent over 25 years mastering the ability to decode body language and behavioral cues in high-stakes situations. Since his retirement, he has authored multiple international bestsellers, including What Every Body Is Saying and The Dictionary of Body Language, which have become essential reading for professionals across industries. Joe’s latest book, Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart, provides actionable insights for those looking to elevate their personal and professional lives. Join us for a compelling conversation with Joe Navarro as he unpacks the essential traits that define truly exceptional individuals and explores how we can cultivate them in our own lives. What makes someone stand out in a way that leaves others feeling inspired and empowered? How can observation, self-mastery, and the art of validation transform not only our personal relationships but also our professional success? Drawing from decades of experience as an FBI Special Agent and a leading expert in nonverbal communication, Joe shares profound insights into human behavior and offers practical strategies to become the kind of person others are drawn to. Discover how to elevate your communication, unlock your potential, and start building the habits that will set you apart in today’s fast-paced, competitive world. What to Listen For Introduction – [00:00:00] Who is Joe Navarro, and how did his career with the FBI shape his expertise in nonverbal communication? What inspired Joe to write Be Exceptional, and how does he define being exceptional? Why does Joe believe universities and traditional education systems don’t teach what truly matters for success? The Five Traits of Exceptional People – [00:02:21] What are the five traits that Joe identifies as the cornerstone of being exceptional? How do self-mastery and observation form the foundation for personal growth and impactful relationships? Why is it critical to focus outward and cultivate "benign curiosity" to connect with others authentically? Self-Mastery as a Lifelong Journey – [00:15:44] Why does Joe describe self-mastery as an ongoing process rather than a destination? What practical steps can listeners take to build self-mastery and prepare for future challenges? How can scaffolding small wins in everyday life lead to significant growth over time? The Power of Observation – [00:25:57] How has modern technology dulled our ability to observe others effectively? What are the key components of great observation, and how can they enhance communication and connection? Why is observation essential for understanding the needs, desires, and fears of others? Validation as a Superpower – [00:35:19] Why is validation one of the most overlooked yet impactful aspects of communication? How can you validate others without sacrificing your own opinions or becoming overly agreeable? What are the long-term consequences of failing to validate others in professional and personal relationships? Building Exceptional Relationships – [00:38:31] How can understanding the "why" behind people's behaviors deepen relationships and build trust? What role does curiosity play in creating meaningful connections and expanding your perspective? Why is being present and focused on others the ultimate key to making an impact? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:How do you meet new people for platonic relationships while making it clear that you're not available for anything romantic or sexual (while avoiding coming across as presumptuous)?How can you overcome your own self-limitations to start living life for yourself instead of catering to the whims and validation of others?You're a divorced parent of two in your forties and stuck in suburbia for custody reasons until the kids go to college. What dating prospects can you expect?You've placed your own college education on hold under the condition you'd return once your spouse graduated. Four days after they got their degree, you separated. Now what?For the sake of your own relationship's balance, how do you encourage your significant other to develop outside friendships?We spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think about us. But what do you think about you? Jordan goes into more detail about this phenomenon here: Who Influences Your Thoughts?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-58-take-a-chance-on-you/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You don't have to quit your day job in order to follow your entrepreneurial aspirations."I live in a state of constant retirement." -Ben KovacsThe Cheat Sheet:What does the recreational fisherman know that the rich man does not?Working for "The Man" and pursuing entrepreneurial urgings don't have to be mutually exclusive concepts -- in fact, they can (and should) complement each other.You don't have to be rich or famous for people (from clients and investors to partners and workmates) to like you and want to hang out. You just have to be interesting and genuine.Being incredibly honest with yourself and others will force you to evaluate what you can do yourself and what requires help -- which allows you to get more done in a day than you once believed possible.Is what you're doing with your time helping you get more out of what you love from life, or taking it away?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ben-kovacs-everyone-is-an-entrepreneur-episode-441/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: If men are the gas and women are the brakes (per guest Emily Nagoski in The Art of Charm podcast episode 414), how does this apply in a marriage that fizzles out in the sex department? Are you a better teacher than a performer of a certain skill? What does it say about you when your students constantly surpass your level of expertise? A veteran weighs in to help a fellow brother-in-arms readjust to civilian work life as addressed in Fan Mail Friday #61. [For further reference, here's a link to the Treble Victor Group for ex-servicemen and women who find themselves in the same boat.] Sure, it's a red flag when the father of your significant other calls out of the blue to impugn their character -- but is this really a warning about your partner or just the sanity of a potential future in-law? The only kind of cockblocker you want in your life is the one who keeps you safe from undead chickens during the zombie poultry apocalypse. But what if it's your best friend who may or may not be in love with you? In a recent video we talked about the concept of using emotional filters to our advantage. Now we're going to use them as a persuasion tool in this week's video: How to Change Someone's Mood Deliberately. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-62-red-flag-dads-and-fowl-obstructions/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scott Barry Kaufman (@sbkaufman) believes in the power of imagination and creativity to transform society for the better. He's the co-author of Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind, which details the 10 habits of highly creative people.The Cheat Sheet:What's the difference between imagination and creativity?Learn how creative people have "messy" minds (and why this doesn't mean what it sounds like it means).What is creative thinking?Openness to new experiences is the number one best predictor of creativity.Understand how adopting the Outsider's Mindset -- looking at your everyday experiences (such as work) as an outsider -- can give you new and creative insights.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/scott-barry-kaufman-wired-to-create-episode-496/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at University of California in Berkeley, one of the world's foremost scientists specializing in the study of power, and author of The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence. The Cheat Sheet: You don't have to be Machiavellian to appreciate that Niccolo Machiavelli was the OG power scientist. The imbalance of power is the greatest threat to society (just after climate change). Powerlessness can literally be lethal. Learn how we can increase our power relative to others in a healthy way. What is The Power Paradox, and how does it affect us and society at large? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dacher-keltner-the-power-paradox-episode-538/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Howes (@LewisHowes) rejoins us to discuss his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives. "We aren't able to fully heal until we start sharing the things we're most ashamed of, the things we're most afraid of, and the things we're most insecure about." -Lewis Howes The Cheat Sheet: What masks do we wear when we're not being our genuine selves, and what compels us to put them on in the first place? How do we know when wearing a mask is serving a purpose and when it's time to put it away? Understand how bottled-up childhood trauma -- more common than many realize -- can make us wear lifelong masks that turn us into strangers with ourselves. Lewis Howes shares real-life examples of what's happened to him from wearing the wrong mask at the wrong time. Discover the catalytic turning point that led Lewis to find out who he really was beneath all these masks. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/lewis-howes-the-mask-of-masculinity-episode-688/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- Listeners to this podcast get one month free here! Want to spend less time shopping for insurance and take advantage of every possible discount? Visit meetamica.com/Forbes and find out why 95% of customers with combined auto and home policies stay with Amica! Skip Netflix tonight and join the millions of students learning and growing on Skillshare today -- AoC listeners get three months of Skillshare for 99 cents by signing up at skillshare.com/charm99! Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. To get started, go to RocketMortgage.com/FORBES! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover superhero therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. Dr. Janina Scarlet is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, TEDx speaker, and a full-time geek who immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Effective therapy can come in many forms but superhero therapy is certainly one of the more interesting approaches we’ve come across - but what is superhero therapy, what can we learn from the heroes and adventures which inspire us, and how can you build an environment conducive to the life you want to lead? What to Listen For Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Origin Story and Using Stories to Heal - 0:00 How did Dr. Janina Scarlet get started using superhero stories to help patients with the mental health difficulties they’re facing? How can we reframe challenges we face using stories and characters in order to overcome them? How can you use fiction to gain insight into the challenges you face? What is a stress hormone and how does one in particular make it difficult for us to get out of bed in the morning? Building a Life that Supports Your Heroic Journey - 17:30 Why is it important to surround yourself with people who support you on your recovery journey? How can we use superhero stories to get our friends and family excited about helping us while also opening up about the challenges they’re facing? How do you construct an environment conducive to the life you want to lead and the person you want to become? How can you use fictional characters like superheroes to identify your core values in order to guide your decisions to build the life you want? What can we learn from our Heroes? - 31:28 What are the benefits to reading fictional stories and what can we all learn from the heroes of said stories? Is it more important to fake confidence until your confident or to be comfortable with your flaws and insecurities? What is Dark Agents about and what can it teach us about PTSD? What are the biggest misconceptions surrounding PTSD? How can you recognize when you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD and what can you do to seek help or get help? Can we experience trauma in life without realizing it until years later? The idea of finding a therapist and going to therapy can feel intimidating even though mental health is becoming less of a taboo subject. But therapy can come in many different forms and some of those forms can feel much more approachable and relatable. Superhero therapy is one because many of us grew up reading comic books and many more got hooked on the superhero movie craze that erupted two decades ago. It’s easy to be inspired by individuals who perform heroic acts yet still experience many of the same insecurities and flaws we normal people go through daily. As a result, the heroes and their stories have an incredible amount they can teach us if we’re willing to pay attention. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Website Superhero Therapy Podcast Harry Potter Therapy Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're our own worst critics. In this Minisode Monday, the challenge is to question the validity of the thoughts we have about ourselves. The Cheat Sheet: You're a heck of a lot more than just your thoughts -- which is a good thing, considering we all harbor negative thoughts about ourselves. Our thoughts determine our feelings, which in turn determine our actions, which later define our beliefs. Our thought patterns are largely formed out of habits; our belief processes get stronger as we get older -- regardless of how untrue these thoughts may be. The problem isn't the thoughts themselves; it's the fact that we take these thoughts as truth without questioning them just because they're ours. It's a cycle. Challenge these thoughts! If they're not moving you forward, do something about it. It's easier said than done, but questioning the validity of these thoughts is a good place to start. Is the risk of failure really impossibly high? Are you really not smart enough? Are you really so unattractive that you're completely unlovable? Who might disagree with these assessments, and why might they disagree? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Beyond the Darkness, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-32-do-you-believe-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you think of people who pursue their passions and make good money doing it as lucky? Chances are that Gary Vaynerchuk works a lot harder than you."Let me just clarify one thing -- I'm not lucky!" -Gary VaynerchukThe Cheat Sheet:How did a kid from the Cold War era communist Soviet Union manage to escape in the late '70s and become one of the hardest-working capitalists alive today? (06:03)For all of its flaws, the US is still a better place to seize opportunity than most of the rest of the world. (09:41)You may think you're a hard-working hustler, but how do you compare to a hard-working hustler from Belarus? (13:54)If you're comfortable living in a world that's convenient for your mindset, you're poised perfectly to lose. (18:40)Learn why Gary Vaynerchuk chose to open an office in Chattanooga, Tennessee. (25:31)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gary-vaynerchuk-climbing-the-ladder-episode-448/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover anger and compassion with Russell Kolts, PhD. Russell is Professor of Psychology at Eastern Washington University, an internationally recognized trainer in compassion-focused therapy (CFT), a TedX speaker, and the author of several books on compassion-focused therapy including CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy and Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide. Many men struggle with anger, especially today because society condemns the emotion, so what does it mean to express anger in healthy ways vs unhealthy ways, what can you do to manage your anger effectively, and how can you use self-compassion to ensure your anger doesn’t destroy your relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the biggest misconceptions around compassion and why is compassion important to your ability to dominate life with finesse and courage? Is it bad to use anger as fuel for action and growth? How to Manage Anger – 12:40 What exercise can you implement today to make sure you don’t blow up at someone you care about the next time they make you angry? The worst way to resolve conflict – 22:46  How do you handle conflict and arguments when your anger feels overwhelming? How do you manage shame effectively? Why is a problem solving approach problematic in relationship conflicts? Tools for Building Self Compassion – 41:20  What 2 questions can you ask yourself to develop self compassion so you can be as patient and understanding with yourself as you are with the people you care about?  Self compassion doesn’t come naturally, especially for men, but it’s crucial for not allowing anger to control us. Also, it’s important to recognize the difference between using anger for positive things like motivation for taking action or problem solving versus letting anger consume us. It takes awareness, intention, and practice to be able to show the same compassion to yourself as you do the people you care about. When done effectively, showing compassion can transform any kind of hostile situation into something more meaningful, both in relationships you’re part of and in life in general.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Anger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | TEDxOlympia Russell Kolts on Twitter CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide BetterHelp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover prioritization with Geoff Woods. Geoff is the Vice President of The ONE Thing and the host of The ONE Thing podcast which is in the top 5% of all podcasts in the world. Many of us get distracted by everything we think we have to do and all the directions other people pull us in, but if we let all of those things consume our time, we’ll never get to where we want to be, so how do you figure out what you need to do and accomplish your dreams? What to Listen For What is the one thing behind extraordinary results and how can you find out what your ONE thing is? What framework can you use to figure out what to focus your time and energy on? How do you narrow down a to-do list to figure out what the most important items are? What can you do to stay disciplined and focused on the important tasks in your personal and professional lives? How do you build more discipline? How do you improve different areas of your life if you’re only focusing on one thing at a time? How do you set goals that pull you toward them? What can you do to strengthen your willpower and use it in a meaningful way? What is the value in finding a coach to help you achieve your goals and dreams? Multitasking has been scientifically proven to be less effective than focusing on one task at a time. However, focusing on the wrong tasks one at a time will also be ineffective. First, we must come up with a clear vision of what we want, and then drill down to the smallest tasks we can accomplish on a daily and weekly basis. This way we are able to track our progress toward the long term goal while also prioritizing the important tasks over less important tasks that might get thrown our way everyday. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode The ONE Thing book The ONE Thing website The ONE Thing podcast Your 411 Worksheet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: What's wrong with eating pumpkin pie for breakfast? Are long distance, lack of communication, recurring patterns of behavior, and disempowering beliefs good enough reasons to break up with someone and stay broken up with someone? Sometimes living in the city and commuting to a job in the suburbs isn't the worst idea. How can you overcome insecurity based around something you can't change -- like height? Can a lifelong academic raised by tiger parents hope for a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't have the drive to complete a degree? If you're tired of being seen as "the shy person" in a group, reinventing yourself isn't as hard as you probably think it is. What are the benefits of limited imposter syndrome? What's our advice for an introvert who is interested in cultivating a balance between gaining and maintaining meaningful social capital yet nurturing an adequate allotment of necessary alone time? No Documentary of the Week, but Jordan and Jason riff on realities both virtual and augmented. Quick shoutout to everyone who has been hitting up Jordan about cryptocurrency and blockchain stuff. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @TheArtofCharm and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/fmf147/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Golflandia, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark Divine (@MarkDivine) is a former Navy SEAL Commander, SEALFIT founder, and author of Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level. The Cheat Sheet: Why would a blueblood CPA decide to leave the family business and become a Navy SEAL? What does "Earn your trident every day" mean to a Navy SEAL? How can anyone -- from doctors and lawyers to mothers and students -- benefit from training mental toughness like a Navy SEAL? How does someone stuck within the rut of a horizontal skillset switch to ascending a vertical skillset? Why you don't have to be born with the warrior spirit -- it can be taught to you if you're willing to learn. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/646/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Away is first class luggage at the coach price with a built-in battery, 100-day free trial, and lifetime warranty. AoC listeners go here and use promo code CHARM at checkout for $20 off! The Art of Manliness is a podcast that explores all things manly — from the serious and philosophical to the practical and fun. Check it out here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. "You think you're ordering a coffee, but you're also sending non-verbal signals out the entire time. What do those signals communicate?" -Jordan Harbinger In this Minisode Monday, we talk about the messages we're sending and receiving between the lines when we communicate both verbally and non-verbally -- and how we can hone the way we send and receive for greater clarity. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet for Communication Between the Lines: Intentionally expressed or not, there's always something going on between the lines when it comes to communication -- whether it's verbal or non-verbal. This between-the-lines message may not only be unintentional -- its interpretation may be faulty on the receiving end because non-verbal communication isn't necessarily universal. How can we get a grip on the signals we send -- and ensure we're not misinterpreting the signals we're receiving? To calibrate the way we send and receive signals, we should take note of how -- for instance -- someone using quickspeech or dismissive body language makes us feel. Then, think about situations in which we might be giving off similar signals to others. We can constantly learn from these interactions to better control the signals we're sending out -- and taking in -- between the lines. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! To truly thrive in all areas of your life, you can't ignore the importance of good health. Try Organifi Green Juice for 20% off using code "charm" when checking out at organifi.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Geffen Playhouse Unscripted, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-55-communication-between-the-lines/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace? What to Listen For The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00 What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience? Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it? How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it? What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection? Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56 Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings? What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships? Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead? What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged? What is the signature trait of a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38 What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships? How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships? What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom? How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you? What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves? Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this one: -Focus is a double-edged sword -Jordan talks too much -Chris needs to grow a set HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hines Ward (@mvp86hinesward) is a two-time Super Bowl champion and MVP of Super Bowl XL. He joins us to talk about how, in spite of just turning 40, he's just getting started. The Cheat Sheet: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. By carving out his own niche in the game of football, Hines Ward proved he didn't have to be the tallest and fastest in the NFL to excel. How can someone in the spotlight stay positive even when faced with bouts of external negativity? In preparation for life post-game, Hines explains how he networked instead of playing Xbox all day like some of his contemporaries. What theme song "inspired" Hines during the swimming part of his Ironman triathlon? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/hines-ward-do-the-dirty-work-episode-520/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover how to master change with Brad Stulberg. Brad regularly contributes to the New York Times and his work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and the Atlantic, and he is the bestselling author of Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, The Practice of Groundedness, and his newest: Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You. Change can rock your world when you’re not prepared for it, so what can you do to become more resilient to change, how do you develop rugged flexibility, and what role does change play in our relationships?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How many major changes will you encounter in life and how do you prepare for them? How can you embrace change and use it to grow? What steps can we take to find balance in our own lives during times of change? Rugged Flexibility – 13:25 What is rugged flexibility, why do you need it, and how do you build it in your life? How to be resilient to change – 23:45 What are the two requirements to be resilient to change? How do you whittle down a list of values to your 3-5 core values and what impact can living in alignment with your core values have on your overall well-being? Control vs Expectations – 38:03 How do you balance the control you have over a situation with the expectations you have? How do you handle relationships with people who change in different ways from you? How do you set expectations with friendships to make your friends feel like they can always come to you?  The 4-P framework to handle change – 57:58 What is the 4-P framework and how can you use it to handle any change you encounter in life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who decides what you're socially worth? People make assumptions about you just by seeing the way you interact with and react to others. We just re-made the The Art of Charm Podcast Value Toolbox episodes because we feel they're so important. This kind of knowledge can change your life -- everyday interactions with your friends and family will take on a new depth, and you'll be able to pursue your goals with greater success. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-secrets-of-social-value-value-revisited-episodes-103-104-105/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #22In this episode:How do you know when your own red flags are a problem?Why are so many people content with the 9-to-5?How do you kick a substance like Adderall (or caffeine) when it seems to maximize your brainpower?And more!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-22-twice-as-bright-half-as-long/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Lee Dumas (@johnleedumas) is the founder and host of EOFire, an award-winning podcast where he chats with today's most successful entrepreneurs seven days a week -- with over 1400 interviews under his belt. How is he so productive? He shares some of his secrets with us here. The Cheat Sheet: How does John stay focused enough to put out a new podcast every single day and have a life? Does social media promote de-evolution? Where does John find new books to read (and what's been worth reading twice)? How does John cultivate the discipline to fight back against weapons of mass distraction? John shares some literal war stories. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/john-lee-dumas-discipline-mastery-bonus/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A recovering smart alec wonders how to get a second chance at a bad first impression. Zooming out on talent to see the skill beneath. How do you become so interesting that people can't help but befriend you, hire you, and line up around the block to get your attention? A close friend suddenly stops responding to every effort at contact -- how can you find out what went wrong? When you're a child of the world, your hybrid accent is nothing to be ashamed of. When you've been burned in past relationships, how do you get over the "there are no good [women/men]" fallacy? [Related: Kimberly Seltzer's advice for How to Find a Therapist] Shoutouts to Konrad -- who used negotiation tactics he learned at AoC while working on The Paris Agreement -- and Xana, who benefits most from our Minisode Monday episodes! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! What's the art of mastering the nap? Check out the Ben Greenfield Fitness Podcast here once you're done hitting the snooze button for the 17th time! The Forbes List with Jordan Harbinger is a new show that reveals the details behind Forbes' lists that don't make it to the magazine or online. You'll get a deeper look at what it takes to put together Forbes' lists of the top companies, wealthiest people, and biggest celebrities in the world. Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf104/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Experimenting with a new type of Friday show to help kick off your weekend. No jibber-jabber, just a short solo show where we dig into listener mail and bite-size mini-lessons you can apply right out of the box. In this episode: -A feminist wonders if Jordan is 'anti-feminist' -A cat in Queens is surrounded by ignorant friends who hold him down.   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover masculinity with Richard Reeves. Richard is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families, and is the author of several books including his latest, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It. Western culture is experiencing a masculinity crisis, so what does mature masculinity look like in today’s society, what defines toxic masculinity vs mature masculinity, and how do we start instilling masculinity in our boys? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the trends in education and how are they impacting the genders? Why is there a lack of male teachers? The Crisis of Fatherhood – 24:07 What role should fathers play moving forward? What does mature masculinity look like in modern society and how do we instill it in our children? Toxic Masculinity – 38:15  What is the difference between mature masculinity and toxic masculinity? What role do rites of passage play in the transition from boyhood to manhood and what consequences do we face as a culture without them? Where do we start if we want to revitalize the masculinity in our society?  The Gender Pay Gap is a Parenting Gap – 59:07 What is the reason for the gender pay gap? Masculinity is not a dirty word. It’s time to reclaim it and redefine it for the modern world. We can start by teaching our children what mature masculinity looks like, modeling healthy behavior ourselves, and creating spaces where men can gather to discuss these issues. Together we can shift the paradigm of toxic masculinity and work towards a more inclusive society that celebrates all forms of masculinity. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Richard Reeves website Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard Reeves Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chase Hughes (@thechasehughes) teaches interrogation and behavior science on a tactical level for the US military, created The Behavioral Table of the Elements for behavior analysis in interrogations, and is the author of The Ellipsis Manual: Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior. "Instead of trying to figure out what a person's good at, try to figure out what they want to be seen as being good at and you'll get ten times the results." -Chase Hughes The Cheat Sheet: What is the Behavioral Table of the Elements and how can we use it to determine the likelihood that someone is telling us the truth? Why Chase considers polygraph tests "just about as accurate as a coin toss" -- and how they're actually biased against people who tell the truth. What someone training to spot deception indicators and stress might learn from watching Conan O'Brien interviews. How training ourselves to be subconsciously aware of truth signals clues us in when someone who's lying deviates from them. How to hack authority for influence and personal development. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/632/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Betterment is the largest independent online financial advisor. For one low, transparent fee, Betterment gives you personalized advice and invests your money. For a limited time, you can get up to six months managed for free -- learn more here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part one of a two-part episode; stay tuned for the second installment next Monday! "The only advice I can give young people is the following: 'It always takes longer, and it always costs more.'" -Jack Barsky The Cheat Sheet: What Jack Barsky's childhood was like in postwar East Germany. The stickiness of Soviet-style communist ideology and how it appealed to young people on Jack's side of the Iron Curtain. How spies were recruited and trained during the Cold War. What skills Jack used to assimilate seamlessly into American culture. Why caution is a spy's best friend; paranoia is his enemy. And so much more... Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/633/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! With Business Platinum from American Express, it's not about where you are, it's about where you want to take your business next. Explore the Power of The Business Platinum Card here! Betterment is the largest independent online financial advisor. For one low, transparent fee, Betterment gives you personalized advice and invests your money. For a limited time, you can get up to six months managed for free -- learn more here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #43! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you keep your work ethic strong when you're surrounded by countless distractions and people whose goals are short-sighted?What are the best habits you can cultivate if you're looking to improve yourself?What adjustments and expectations will make a move from the country to the big city go as smoothly as possible?It would seem like you dodged a bullet when an ex-fiance breaks it off and moves back in with the terrible boyfriend she had before you -- if it weren't for the fact she's carrying your unborn child. What do you do now?If you're afraid to strike up conversations with strangers, what are some exercises you can do to beat approach anxiety?How do you date when you're living with your parents for the next few years while paying off a massive debt?How do you find a positive in every negative?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-43-ignore-mom-talk-to-strangers/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your talents, abilities, and intelligence aren't fixed traits -- they can be expanded and improved at any age with a mindset motivated toward growth."It's exciting to be progressing and doing things you never thought you could do; it's less exciting to just keep proving yourself over and over -- often by staying in your comfort zone." -Dr. Carol DweckThe Cheat Sheet:Learn the differences between the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. (02::31)What's the first step toward breaking out of a fixed mindset once you've identified it within yourself? (08:05)How you define success helps pinpoint your dominant mindset. (10:24)By the same token, mindsets change the very meaning of failure. (16:58)How can we raise children to lean more toward a growth mindset than a fixed mindset? (24:48)And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-carol-dweck-the-motivated-mindset-episode-445/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) practices and teaches the skills of learning to love wholeheartedly by looking at what gets in the way, and discusses her book Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love.The Cheat Sheet:There are five natural stages through which romantic relationships cycle: The Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, Decision, and Wholehearted Love.Why does "falling in love" make us do crazy things?When your relationship winds up in an anxiety-fueled loop, how can you break out?What does Linda recommend for spicing up a perfunctory sex life?Understand these three components of good sex: desire, arousal, and orgasm.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/linda-carroll-love-cycles-episode-480/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.AJ fills in for Jordan this time around, so let's cut to it!In this episode:The cold shoulder is a poor way to communicate. How do you react when you're on the receiving end of this faulty connection?As complicated as all other factors in your younger sibling's life seem to be, they'll better fall into place if you set the example of positive role model first.These are the narcissists in your neighborhood. But do they really think they're better than you, or is it the other way around?How do you work yourself out of the funk caused by the worries of "real" life when it's ruining the drive you used to have for pursuing regular exercise and a vibrant social life?Can a long-distance relationship based more on intellect and reason rather than passion survive?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com or even, thanks to our friends at Burner App, leave us a voicemail or text at (415) 429-1915!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-56-becoming-a-better-role-model/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author of the upcoming Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. He joins us to talk about the evolution of our innate (but limited) morality and what we as modern, rational humans can do to overcome this programming. The Cheat Sheet: Do we learn good and evil as we grow up, or are they hard-wired into us by evolution? Are we all just closet racists (with some of us just more closeted than others)? How can we scientifically test biases in babies who seemingly only express themselves by cooing and pooping? Good news: innate moral sense exists. Bad news: innate moral sense exists, but is limited. The goal of a modern culture is to make it a bit less limited. What can we do to change the us vs. them monologue with which we're born? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-bloom-rational-compassion-episode-551/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #35! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:What is the function of self-deprecation when striking up a new acquaintance, and how can you make people comfortable enough that they don't put themselves down while still valuing yourself enough not to do it, too?It's great that you're making positive strides toward changing your own life for the better, but how can you draw out your recluse friend and share the good vibes, man?When you have a great relationship with a significant other, it would be a bonus if your mother approved -- but it's ultimately not a necessity. (And if your relationship with your mother is also great, then she'll understand this -- even grudgingly).You could always answer your boss' awkward laughter with, "I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?"When the other person in a relationship says that they need "time," should you wait for them or move on?Laying out the harsh realities and consequences of drugs instead of perpetuating myths about them will be more effective (and earn you more respect as a parent) than telling your kids to "just say 'no.'"Ever feel that you’re not sitting in the driver's seat of your own life? Here's a short video about the roles we fall into.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-35-just-say-no-to-drug-myths/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) is a Russian chess grandmaster, political activist, and author of Deep Thinking: Where Machine Intelligence Ends and Human Creativity Begins and Winter Is Coming: Why Vladimir Putin and the Enemies of the Free World Must Be Stopped. The Cheat Sheet: The part chess played in promoting Soviet Russian ideology during the Cold War. What it takes to become a chess champion now compared to 50 years ago and why Garry considers the game "one of the most aggressive forces of psychological warfare." What can and can't be applied from chess to politics and decision making. What Garry knows from experience about authoritarian governments and why we need to be vigilant against them now more than ever. Is our civilization poised for progress or ruin now that supercomputers can beat superhumans at tournament-level chess? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/644/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Getting a business loan is now faster and easier with PayPal Working Capital. Click here or visit paypal.com/aoc to learn more! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle achieving the impossible with Dr Mike Massimino. Dr Massimino served as an astronaut from 1996 to 2014 and went to space twice, he was the first human to tweet from space, the last human to work inside the Hubble telescope, and is the author of Moonshot: A NASA Astronaut’s Guide to Achieving the Impossible. In this installment, we have a truly out-of-this-world guest, Dr. Mike Massimino, who brings us inside the captivating world of space exploration as he delves into Hoot's Law and the art of handling mistakes in the unforgiving expanse of space. He shares invaluable insights into building a team culture that leads to unparalleled success at NASA, and explains the secrets behind the 30-second rule, a powerful tool for overcoming regret and performing at a high level in critical situations.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the most surprising challenges Dr Massimino had to overcome to become an astronaut after being rejected several times? What is the value of teamwork most people have forgotten – 14:02 What are the psychological benefits of being on a team that greatly increase your ability to succeed? What is the most important thing to nurture in your team as a leader in order to avoid catastrophe? The danger signs that trust is about to break – 27:38 What signs should you pay attention for if you’re concerned about What is Hoot’s law and why is it crucial to consider when you find yourself in a stressful or dangerous situation? The astronaut’s secret to effortlessly overcome regret and perform – 40:54 How do you overcome regret in a high pressure situation so you can perform at the highest level regardless of the circumstances? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices