The Anxious Love Coach (Natalie Kennedy)

The most common question I ever get asked gets answered in THIS podcast with one of my closest friends, Chelsea Horton, who is a fellow relationship anxiety specialist herself. Enjoy!

When your partner is operating at what we might call a "low vibe," it's only natural our attraction will wane for the time being. We might take the lack of attraction we feel in that circumstance at face value and panic about whether we're in the right relationship! In this episode, I jump on TikTok Live (@anxiouslovecoach) to share where to re-route your attention and how to restore feelings after re-connecting with yourself first.

Hey! I'm testing out a new mic, so bear with me. 😉

If you tend to compare your partner to other people in real life or online, this episode is for you! I used to struggle with this a lot, but these tools have become second nature to me now and both my husband and I are much happier and more in love than ever.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

3:50 Grieving the lives that you were unable to live

4:40 Tips to stop comparing your relationship to those of others

13:40 Both Feet In - Abridged

So many clients of mine feel ashamed when they experience a crush while in partnership. It’s a highly charged, delicate topic! You’re not alone, and you’re not a bad partner. If you’ve experienced this, I’d like to give you some tools to navigate it ethically while also honoring your humanness. I’ll be covering 5 tips to get you from freaking out, to getting under the surface of your crush, to using it to enhance your relationship with yourself and maybe even your loved one.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

3:50 Allowing the fantasy of the crush

5:30 What happens in your mind is private

6:40 Who we perceive ourselves to be in the fantasy

9:15 Grieving your unlived lives

12:10 Working with the tension between opposites

15:20 Acknowledging what is going right in your relationship

This podcast episode was recorded on Instagram live after I was inspired by a conversation with a client, where she and I discussed the worst places to find relationship advice and why -- and where to find good relationship advice instead.

An underrated skill in the path of overcoming relationship anxiety: reclaiming softness, befriending anxiety, and learning to trust and follow glimmers of joy. This episode was so tender and beautiful it made me weepy. I am very grateful to present to you this episode with Jessica Fawn, yoga and tantra teacher. We spoke about seeing anxiety as a profound messenger for healing, and learning to nurture it— and what that can look like in the context of partnership.

Also, I will be joining her Temple membership, so see you there 🙂

Temple is Jessica Fawn's online school for women's softness & sensuality. Memberships start at 15$ per month. Doors open March 25-28th.

The daily schedule includes goddess tantra, art therapy, archetypal work, moon rituals, sensual dance, and self-love cultivation.

To read more about Temple: www.intothetemple.com/temple-school

Special gift for Anxious Love Coach Podcast listeners: receive 10% OFF on all plans: use the coupon code SISTERLOVE

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Jessica Fawn @jessicafawn_

Time Stamps:

4:00 - Jessica’s journey through anxiety and depression

8:40 - The power of embracing your anxiety

15:20 - What does “softness” mean in the feminine context?

19:00 - Working with a dysregulated nervous system from an embodiment perspective

30:45 - Jessica’s Temple program

If you’ve been preoccupied with thoughts about your ex, or are comparing your relationship to your ex, or are even grieving the un-pursued romance of a crush outside your partnership, you’re normal– and this episode is for you. In this episode, I share what these thoughts are really about (hint: it’s not the ex), and share how to use the crush-mirror to bring ourselves back onto our own papers into wholeness. I also share a vulnerable story of how I have done this for myself.

Links: 

• Join me for my monthly Q&A on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

• Both Feet In – my self-study course: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

• Pick my brain by submitting a Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

• Be in my world 1:1 for 3 months in my Overhaul program: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

Time Stamps:

5:45 Seeking out chaos when we are with a stable, level-headed partner

10:00  A story about a crush I’ve thought about for over 10 years

19:50  Finding parts from your crush/ex that are missing in yourself

23:00  The ego would love to see someone who is unavailable become available

25:45  The dangers of putting the responsibility for your aliveness on another person

29:25  How a spiritual practice can help with anxiety

Do you find that no matter how much you learn about your relationship anxiety, listen to podcasts, read books or try to 'do the work you still feel triggered by your partner? In this episode, my amazing co-coach Sheridan and I discuss how your nervous system affects your thoughts, emotions and actions in a relationship and how to use your triggers to help you find more peace and connection in your partnership.

We also discuss our new program: Triggered To Truth - a 5-week container to unpack your triggers in relationships, feel safe loving and being loved, and drop your unconscious relational patterns. Led by Sheridan, it's our first program open for men, women and gender non-binary. We are SO excited. Learn more at www.anxiouslovecoach.com/triggeredtotruth

And, if you’re ready to join me this November 8-13th in California for Aliveness from Within… ENROLL HERE: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/aliveness-from-within

A question we’ve had come up in our self-study course and also in our DMs– what do you do if your partner watches porn or follows a bunch of hot women on social media? (This speaks mostly to a pattern I see coming from women in relationships with men, but as always, not always.) In this episode, I share some thoughts on (particularly the excessive use of) pornography … as always, take what empowers you, and discard what doesn’t. This conversation has lots of context and nuance I can’t possibly cover in one episode!

Links:

Register for TRIGGERED TO TRUTH (5 week group program for unpacking triggers in relationship): https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/triggeredtotruth

Enroll in BOTH FEET IN (signature self-study course for overcoming relationship anxiety): https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for ALIVENESS FROM WITHIN (5-day women’s retreat in California): https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/aliveness-from-within

Today, I chat with my dear friend Mollie Birney, a clinical life coach, about how to utilize conflict in a relationship that is expansive and actually enhancing and -- dare I say -- enjoyable? Conflict is intended to be challenging but it doesn't have to feel like pulling teeth if we are able to own our shadows with confidence. If you struggle with relationship anxiety, we can often create meaning that isn't actually there, and it's so important to be able to own this fully in order to create resolve within ourselves and within our challenges in relationships.

If this content resonates with you, please leave an honest review for us on Apple Podcasts! We are going to start choosing one review monthly and offering a personal free video response to a question of that person's choice on Instagram.

In the past I've touched on this as an incompatibility, but as usual — I think it's more nuanced than that, and there are a few things you might do to try to get on the same page before you either hang up your desires or call it quits.

Both Feet In Self-study only: FLASH SALE UNTIL 8/31 - 5 days left! Register here

Upgrade to join the next BFI class series (6 week group) - Claim your spot here

Next Patreon community call: September 13th at 9am PST - Become a patron here for $5-9/month to get access to Q&As with me monthly, exclusive posts, be part of intimate group discussions, get discounts, and get first access to things. Cancel anytime.

Two things are true: 1) I am unqualified to speak on ERP and OCD and 2) I am sharing my thoughts about ERP for those that still want to hear them even though I am unqualified.

What is ERP (Exposure & Response Prevention)? How helpful is it for those with relationship anxiety? What are its strengths and limitations? In this episode, I'll share my thoughts on this treatment.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is Sunday, February 11th at 8am PST/11am EST.

https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

5:04 What is ERP (exposure response therapy)?

9:34  The dangers of disassociating

13:00  What is polarity work?

20:00 Compassionate self-inquiry

In this episode, I talk about ‘Fear of Missing Out’ (FOMO) in partnership. In a society of (seeming) unlimited choices + constant comparison, it’s no wonder there are so many wandering eyes and anxious minds, wondering if we got the short end of the stick. I talk about a few strategies you can use to feel more confident in your decision, break the fantasy spell, and be able to more easily focus on the gift of your relationship right in front of your face.

Both Feet in Self Study Course: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for Quit Comparing Your Relationship in 7 days: http://anxiouslovecoachschool.teachable.com/p/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

If you've experienced profound healing and liberation from relationship anxiety, you may have felt the desire to pass this transformation on to others. If that's you, you're going to want to give this a listen and hear what it's like to be on the other side as a practitioner, and what it takes to hold outstanding healing space for others. Also, my dearest friend is hosting the first practitioner program of its kind that I've seen. I highly endorse this and recommend you join.

Wisio (my "Ask Nat" service): www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach - use the code LOVE2024 for 10% off through 2/20/24

Patreon: www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach - Next group meditation + coaching call Saturday, March 2nd 9am PST/12pm EST

For the practitioner program:

Waitlist link: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/practitioner-training

You can also email Chelsea - chelsea@healingembodied.com

Upcoming free event for those interested: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/hangout

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Chelsea Joy Horton @Healingembodied

Time Stamps:

8:00  Chelsea and Natalie’s paths into relationship anxiety and embodiment work

12:05 Downsides of working in the world of therapy

18:30 How Chelsea’s current work differs from traditional therapy

38:15 Creating a “human first” business

45:00 Chelsea’s practitioner training program

In this podcast, Sheridan (ALC's wonderful co-coach) discusses the following:

- Why reality TV (such as Love Is Blind, Married At First Sight, The Ultimatum, 90 day Fiance) based around relationships trigger you

- The truth about the contestant's emotional experience that we aren't often told.
- A 3 step process for moving through your triggers.

We'll be sharing more information on how to work through these triggers over the next few months - make sure you're subscribed to the podcast and follow us on IG @anxiouslovecoach

In this episode, I share a simple question that will help you ground yourself in reality, and actually move forward with life, if you're stuck on the fence over your relationship.

Links:

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Next Patreon group coaching call - September 20th @ 9am: 

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

2:48  Wanting to control or change my partner in order to continue in the relationship

3:58  Disclaimers about abusive relationships

7:56  Dealing with resentment in your relationship by “being on the fence”

9:45  Reasons we feel like we need to be in control of our partners

10:25  What to do when you’re on the fence

13:05  A question you can ask yourself if you’re on the fence

In a culture of cancellation that tells you to leave when you're not feeling it, the perspective to stay and do a deep dive into yourself instead of dropping out of the relationship, may be a controversial one. In this episode we normalize falling out of love, while also giving you 10 steps to restore your faith in the partnership.

This episode is for those of you new to the podcast but haven’t heard my story, as well as for those of you who DO know my story, but might not know the new context around it since I’ve started Anxious Love Coach. I’ve learned a lot since running this business – and some of my perspectives have shifted over the last year that impact the messaging you may have heard from me earlier on.

SALE on Programs through 2/22 - 3/25: 30% off with code HONEY30

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

In this episode, I discuss living apart from my husband and the importance of maintaining a separate identity outside of your partnership. When we lack separateness, one or both partners can end up feeling trapped and lacking desire for one another. We cover: why separateness is important for a relationship and what that can look like, how to cultivate it, and what to do if you experience separation anxiety.

Links mentioned:

Enroll in Aliveness from Within HERE: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/aliveness-from-within

Enroll in Luci Lampe’s programs HERE: https://the-wild-awakening.teachable.com/?affcode=1051804_8anrysej

Foria Wellness 20% off: http://aspireiq.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=7178&aff_id=17813

While I think it's so useful to normalize dips in attraction, that's only half the puzzle in satisfying long-term relationships! True empowerment comes from knowing how to shift sluggish, disempowering dynamics into self-aware, humble, inspiring ones. Tune in to learn how to do this. This was a complete game-changer in my relationship.

If you’re ready to join our programs, visit www.anxiouslovecoach.com

Our obsession with authenticity is putting the responsibility of discerning “reality” vs. “not-reality” on creators – when this is not where our focus should be, as consumers. In this episode, I talk about how I think consumers’ obsession with authenticity has gone too far – and if we could change the conversation around authenticity, we would have less FOMO and “shoulds” and be a heck of a lot happier.

BOTH FEET IN Course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for Quit Comparing Your Relationship in 7 days: A Telegram Challenge: February 8-14, 2023

https://anxiouslovecoachschool.teachable.com/p/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

In this episode, I share the costs of reassurance seeking, the act of trying to find certainty about your relationship. If you tend to constantly be searching for the perfect piece of advice (even from me!), you’re addicted to the illusion of certainty as a means of feeling safe. Listen to this episode for things you can do instead to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and not dampen it through reassurance-seeking.

Links: 

Both Feet In: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Patreon - next call May 15: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Apply to work with me 1:1: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

2:28  Why do we seek assurance when we have relationship anxiety?

7:50  The hidden costs of assurance seeking

12:35  How assurance-seeking can make your partner seem less attractive to you

16:50  The importance of standing on your own two feet in terms of self-trust

20:00 The danger of becoming addicted to certainty

28:30  Healthier alternatives to assurance seeking

33:27 - Your partner is in their own process, they cannot come to your rescue

It's my pleasure to bring on Alex Bishop, a registered counsellor and IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapist, onto the podcast today. Alex has struggled with Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety, and disorganized attachment, and can speak deeply on the experience of pushing a partner away.

In this episode, we discuss his story with overcoming ROCD, how parts work relates to relationship anxiety, the IFS model for overcoming doubts, fears, and "the ick" associated with ROCD, and some of the limitations of ERP therapy for overcoming ROCD specifically.

If you have been feeling stuck, this episode will be SO validating for you, and can help you get on the path to free yourself from the overwhelming shame and anxiety!

Find Alex over at @forloveweheal on Instagram.

Links: 

• PATREON CALL w/ live Q+A: August 3rd at 10AM PST https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

3:00 - Alex’s experience with ROCD

16:42 - The importance of knowing your patterns when you have relationship anxiety

19:00 - How Alex used parts work/CBT

23:00 - How psychedelics can help with relationship anxiety

26:12 - Creating aliveness for yourself in your relationship

31:00 -Therapeutic routes to help with ROCD

42:50 - The causes of attraction obsessions

56:10 - Having different experiences that we label the same thing

57:50 - The limitation of ERP: Exposure and Response Prevention

When I was in the thick of Relationship Anxiety, comments like:

• "maybe you should leave"
• "maybe he's just not the right person for you"
• "you're young, maybe you just need to explore"

were enough to send me into a gut-wrenching spiral of anxiety. In this episode, I get to the root of why this is so painful and also how you can respond.

In this episode, I'm sharing a vulnerable story and a recent personal loss... and what it has taught me. I want to share how loss, pain, grief, and disappointment are portals to the divine... if you will let them be so.

Patreon next call December 9 @ 11am PST: patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged use the code BLACKFRIDAY20 for 20% off until 12/10/23 11:59 pm PST

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

4:15 Relationship anxiety as a spiritual calling

7:25 If you want to be comfortable with anxiety, you must be comfortable with loss and feeling “naked”

16:00 The myth of “when you know, you’ll know”

29:00  Being free of anxiety means you just say “yes'“ to what is

30:25  How to be with disappointment

38:15 Both Feet In - Abridged

If your partner is going through a dark phase and isn't able to be your rock, it's challenging to maintain an erotic connection or spark. If you're in the thick of this, there's hope-- and you're going to want to listen to this raw deep dive with my dear friend Luci Lampe.

Luci Lampe is a mom of 4, sexual empowerment & mindset coach, award-winning singer and songwriter, commercial actress, lifestyle & fitness model, 3X author, and entrepreneur. Her writing has been featured on the Huffington Post, Forbes, Entrepreneur.com, CBS, and Fox.

After a 6+ year hiatus from the music industry, birthing two more little humans, overcoming an autoimmune disorder, and surviving hell as a family through her husband’s 2-year disability and depression, Luci returns with a bold, unapologetic message of freedom and courage. 

Whether you never got to be single because you met your partner young, you’ve been in a string of back-to-back relationships, or you’re longing for the freedom that supposedly comes with the single life, this episode is for you. Yes, you can absolutely feel freedom in a relationship, but it’s going to take radical responsibility on your part for your joy and aliveness. Tune in to discover how.

Links: 

• Join me for my monthly Q&A on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

• Both Feet In – my self-study course: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

• Pick my brain by submitting a Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

• Be in my world 1:1 for 3 months in my Overhaul program: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

Time Stamps: 

2:10  Never having the opportunity to be single

4:10  Leaving your relationship to discover yourself

7:25 Self-care after a breakup

11:00 Ways to feel single in your relationship

14:48 Not being able to hook up with other people while in a relationship

19:10 Taking responsibility for your aliveness in a relationship

I often add the disclaimer to relationship anxiety content to disregard my insight if you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship. But that begs the question for many: how does one know that the relationship they are in is toxic or abusive? In this episode, I’m going to lay out my nuanced thoughts on this, knowing full well there are limitations even to this line of thinking. We discuss power dynamics, manipulation, unconsciousness, malicious intent, and more. I am also hopeful that you will get more clarity on your situation, because in either case, if you are wondering this question, it is likely there is some unconsciousness that needs addressing.

Links: 

• Join me for my monthly Q&A on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

• Watch Your Language Masterclass: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/watch-your-language-masterclass

• Pick my brain by submitting a Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach CODE: summer23 for 10% off

• Conscious Communication Course:  https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Time Stamps:

9:30  My definition of abuse in a relationship

15:35 My definition of codependency in a relationship

18:01  Not trusting your partner to their own devices

20:32 Manipulating your partner in order to change them

27:50  Things in a relationship that are uncomfortable but not abusive

33:01  Is my partner gaslighting me?

34:35  What happens when you start to get happy in your relationship?

40:05  The power of saying more with less

In this episode, I share how polarizing, black-and-white content on social media is pinning people against each other. I will also admit that I fell prey to this and started a fight with my husband before recording this episode. I also share what I learned from it and how I plan to do better.

Links:

Also, it’s my birthday! Take 31% off all my courses with the code BIRTHDAY31: 

Conscious Communication Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Both Feet In Relationship Anxiety Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Quit Comparing Your Relationship Challenge:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon here for more content and live monthly calls:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

6:50 The fights that my husband and I have had

10:25 Some of the messages I’ve received about men from social media

15:59  The fight that we had today

22:45  How your pain can activate your partner’s pain

24:00 The importance of taking space when needed during arguments

31:50  The overwhelming fear of getting the short end of the stick in relationships

34:00  Nuanced content does not get attention on social media

36:55 Keeping the assumption that your partner loves you more than anything

41:00  Learning how to better have arguments

Ah... my favorite dark rabbit hole... "Am I making a mistake?"

If you question every decision you make, period, your relationship will fall under that line of scrutiny too. In this episode, I address how this line of thinking (not just in your relationship, but in life too!) can be useful... until it isn't.

I'm sharing something a relationship coach shared with me that really shook me up and convinced me to step up in my relationship and quit committing to the story I was powerless to do anything about my anxiety. It may be hard for some of you to hear, but for some it may be empowering. Love is not always pleasant and nurturing-sounding. That said, there is no advice that is one-size-fits-all, so take what you need and discard what you don't.

Links:

How I broke free from relationship anxiety - episode 1

How I Broke Free from Relationship Anxiety: Revisited - episode 57

Consciousness Exercise Series has been renamed to:

• Anxious to Spacious, my women's group, starts October 24th. Register HERE

Patreon: Get support in my monthly community call, view archives of past calls, and get exclusive posts and discounts! Next community call September 13th at 9am PST.

If you experience relationship anxiety, you might be familiar with the urge to try to change your partner so that you can feel better about your decision to be with them, and stop doubting the relationship so much! You’re not alone. It can be so hard to change this pattern, but I believe it can be done with some determination, patience, and humility. This episode can help you trust your partner (and your decisions) more, restore intimacy and closeness, and start moving you in the direction of the relationship you desire.

SUPER exciting: join me on Patreon! We will meet monthly for a hangout and Q/A where I (and our ALC family) can support and hold you through the experience of navigating love through uncertainty. First 50 patrons get permanent $5/month for all benefits of our top tier. Become a patron here: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Email me at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com to inquire about my retreats in Austria with my meditation teacher, Stefi Preiss, this summer.

5:42- Keeping your eyes on your paper and cleaning up your side of the street

6:30 -Feeling like you picked the wrong partner

10:00 - The three things I thought I could do to change my partner

16:30 - My desire for my partner to change

19:05 - Moving into the future and making empowering changes for yourself

20:25 - Your partner will not change if you try to change them

21:43 - Developing self-trust by overcoming adversity

23:00 - Imagine your inner controller who wants to control everything

24:00 - What are you afraid would happen if you stopped trying to control your partner?

26:00 - Some of the different methods of control that we use to control our partners

36:19 - The power of letting your partner make clean up their own messes

43:04 - “I will criticize my partner when I have stopped doing XYZ”

45:50 - The difference between wanting to delight you and not disappointing you

50:35 - Starting the Anxious Love Coach Patreon Fam

57:30 - Email me for more info on my Austria retreats in June and September

Are you feeling an intense urge to break up right before Thanksgiving or winter break? You're not alone. It's actually very common! In this episode, I outline some common reasons behind holiday break-up urges and what you can do instead.

Patreon: patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Email me to get on the waiting list for early bird BFI rate at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

3:00 Breaking up and coming back to my partner during the holidays

7:40 How the holidays can bring up difficult feelings about your relationship

13:00 Wanting control over your life

19:40 What to do when you have breakup urges during the holidays

28:04 Earlybird discount for the upcoming Both Feet In coaching program

In this episode, I interview one of my incredible coaching and meditation clients, Shannon, who came to me struggling with Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety. She shares what her awakening process looked like without the fluff, and the new wisdom she has acquired. She also gives warm encouragement and suggestions for those who are in the swamp of ROCD right now. You can find the video up on my Youtube channel.

• Next call (with my husband Preston!) on Patreon: October 6th at 9am PST. Questions open October 3. Become a patron HERE
• Anxious to Spacious, my women's group, starts October 24th. Register HERE

I tried to break up multiple times with both my long-term partners of whom I experienced ROCD with -- and a hard majority of those "pull-aways" happened around the holidays. Back then the timing seemed so random, but I see today something much deeper was going on and that this emotional inner turmoil was actually a pattern in hindsight. In this episode, I share how the holidays can exacerbate relationship anxiety and what you can do about it.

A new season of the Anxious Love Coach!

FINALLY, the episode so many of you have been asking for! Long-distance relationships take relationship anxiety to a whole new level. If you're wondering how to navigate relationship anxiety while in a long-distance relationship, this episode is for you. From basic fundamental rules of thumb to the nitty gritty details... we covered a LOT and I know this will be so validating and of service to so many of you.

My beloved Aunt Diane sent me some tips and I don't gatekeep. Listen up!

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged starting January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

This episode is a recording of an impromptu Instagram Live I did last week. If you can see this pattern in yourself, you can also find freedom!

Work with me:

1. Next Patreon Community Call: Friday, June 7th at 8am PST. The call will last 2.5 hours. We will have an embodiment practice with Chelsea Horton from Healing Embodied, and then she and I will host a Q&A together. Become a patron here

2. I am currently open for 1:1 sessions. You can book yours (or buy a 4-pack) here.

3. Ask me anything on Wisio and I'll make you a custom video in response within 7 days.

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

In this episode, I uncover the psychology of resistance to sex with our partners, along with the techniques I use to release this resistance and open up to intimacy in the bedroom.

A common theme with relationship anxiety is the fierce struggle for reconciliation between wanting to be independent and dependent. Tune in with my friend Mollie Birney, a clinical coach with an eye for mental health, as we dive into the truth about peoples' relationships to independence and how it can be a trauma response that blocks us from experiencing intimacy and connection.

This is a raw and real voice text I recorded on my walk. I discuss the challenges/uncertainties of being a relationship coach.

This episode includes my thoughts on this work, why uncertainty and doubt are absolute critical pieces to being open-minded, curious, and humble, and how it would be dangerous and disempowering to try and get rid of them. This felt delicious to record— enjoy.

Are you more anxious about your relationship right before your period? In this episode, we will address the menstrual cycle from a more holistic lens, and how to leverage each phase you're in to maximize the potential for you to connect with yourself and your partner.

Whether you never got to be single because you met your partner young, you’ve been in a string of back-to-back relationships, or you’re longing for the freedom that supposedly comes with the single life, this episode is for you. Yes, you can absolutely feel freedom in a relationship, but it’s going to take radical responsibility on your part for your joy and aliveness. Tune in to discover how.

Links: 

• Join me for my monthly Q&A on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

• Both Feet In – my self-study course: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

• Pick my brain by submitting a Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

• Be in my world 1:1 for 3 months in my Overhaul program: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

Time Stamps: 

4:15 Feeling like your partner is the cause of your numbness

11:05  Triggers are caused by pain that is already there

12:12  Reasons why you might be feeling numbness

22:30 Being overwhelmed by stimulation and how that creates numbness

23:40 “What get’s loud when you get quiet?”

25:40 Self-care tips to deal with numbness

36:10 Prioritizing self care when dealing with anxiety

38:15 Resensitization exercise

One of many reasons we may feel anxious in relationship: we’re actually feeling resentful and not communicating our needs and boundaries at all, or effectively! In this episode, I break down what boundaries are as well as what they aren’t, some perspective shifts for recovering people-pleasers, and ways to communicate your boundaries in ways that will feel like sacred gifts.

BOTH FEET IN Course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for Quit Comparing Your Relationship in 7 days: A Telegram Challenge: February 8-14, 2023

https://anxiouslovecoachschool.teachable.com/p/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

One of my biggest fears in the past was that I'd be perceived as a narcissist. I resorted to frequent people-pleasing so people could think I was "good" in order to try and prevent this. Problem is, it led me to being more resentful and self-centered anyway around people I loved (including my partner). People tell you "if you worry you're a narcissist, you aren't one" but there's more to it than that. If you ever worry you're a narcissist and would like to get relief from this worry, this episode is for you!

This episode has been needed for SO long! I'm aware that I most often speak to people who identify as women that are in relationships with people who identify as men. In this episode, I speak to why and also share ways to expand the conversation since I don't think the experience is exactly the same for all genders across the board! Please share your thoughts and experiences!

You’re not attracted to a partner you control — and controlling behavior is a common way to avoid feeling “out of control.” However, it’s a huge contributor to feelings of dissatisfaction and disgust in relationship and ROCD. In this episode, I cover how to identify when we’re stepping into controlling behaviors, how to have compassion for ourselves when this happens, why this doesn’t serve you or the partnership, and what to do instead. 

After years of having doubts in my (now) 8-year partnership, I managed to stumble into a breakthrough where I was finally able to confidently and joyfully commit to my awesome partner. In this episode, I share my organic story on how I went from doubting to loving.

This one comes deep from personal, local, and recent experience from my heart. When we are feeling starved in multiple aspects of our lives, it's common to look to our partners to fill in the gaps. In this episode, I make a point to help you identify why you might be projecting your emotional hunger into your relationship, what to do instead, and also a special tip at the end on requesting your needs to be met.

• What intuition is and isn't
• The false dichotomy you might accidentally be pigeonholing yourself into
• The limitations of only doing somatic work and meditation for relationship anxiety
• How to use your anxiety to communicate better

• How to process stagnant, old emotions clouding your ability to access clear thinking and intuition
• How to use Consciousness Exercise to articulate your problems to your partner in a way that inspires them to want to help you rather than blame you, withdraw, and/or deflect

• Ask me anything on Wisio
• Come to my monthly community support call for $5-$9/month HERE
• Podcast Ep 81: May I tell you about my miscarriage?

Although we may be entering a new year, this season is still about death and endings, and if we’re resistant to that, we may experience more anxiety than usual. In this episode, I speak to how death and endings are an important piece to the conversation when we are moving out of anxiety and into a rich inner experience.

Find me on Youtube

I’M BACK! I’ve gone through some huge transitions: got married, packed up and headed back abroad, and had a giant polarizing flip of dynamics in my relationship. In this episode, I catch you up AND share how important polarity is in your relationship in order to feel attraction. We’re just getting started.

To join me in California Nov 8-13th for my women's retreat, Aliveness from Within, register here:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/aliveness-from-within

My most "meta" episode yet...

If your suffering about your relationship is caused by comparisons to illusions (rose-colored memories of your ex, Disney, Tiktok), then can we flip the dynamic on its head and re-invigorate the relationship by using illusion to our advantage?

Warning: I'm about to ruin attraction for you in this episode.

**Upcoming: Sex Anxiety Clinic with Shayna Hiller - A virtual masterclass to awaken pleasure, and release shame and dread in the bedroom: March 14, 2024 at 2pm PST/5pm EST. Register here.

Ask me anything on Wisio: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

4:55 - Falling for the illusion of your partner

13:00 - Finding a partner that challenges your unconsciousness

16:35 - Two ways to improve your sex life

22:55 - Our sex anxiety clinic

Spoilers in this one :) We're talking about the unconscious, toxic patterns and problematic beliefs that appeared in moments between Nancy + Bartise, Matt + Colleen, Raven + SK and Xanab + Cole (!! ).

If you've ever experienced dread around making love due to the "ick," pain, anxiety, shame, or being too tired, this episode is for you! I'm excited to introduce a dear friend and mentor of mine, who is also a trained Tao Tantric Priestess, Integrative Nutrition Coach, and Yoga Teacher. Her name is Shayna Hiller. In this episode, we will discuss the causes of dread around sex, as well as what you can do to start looking forward to sex especially if it's gotten stale in the bedroom. You're not alone; No, you're not broken, and no, you're not necessarily with the wrong partner if you're not feeling turned on by their mere presence!

Register for the Sex Anxiety Clinic: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/sexanxietyclinic

To apply for Shayna's retreat and/or training: www.embodiedwisdomretreat.com or Shayna's website www.shaynahiller.com

Next ALC Patreon community call: Saturday, March 2nd at 9am PST/12pm EST: www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach.com

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Shayna Hiller @Shaynahiller

Time Stamps:

6:52 Shayna’s long-term celibacy in her twenties

12:43  Clearing sexual trauma through the tantric arts

19:51  Inspiring your partner to be their best selves

26:34  Deciding that you don’t like sex, when the reality is that you dislike the sex you are having

30:21  How stress leads to anxiety in the bedroom

37:10  Normalizing the ebbs and flows in your relationship and your sex life

38:30  Scheduling sex

46:15  What to do when you dread having sex with your healthy, loving partner

1:05:00 Sex Anxiety Masterclass on March 14th 2pm PST

1:11:12 You are wired for pleasure

1:14:43 Shayna’s Embodied Wisdom Retreat

I entered my relationship "knowing" Preston was the one... but then, years in, I stopped knowing anymore! In this episode, I speak to the younger version of myself that was struggling horribly with relationship anxiety. Some of you are in this place and I want to remind you that A) you're not alone, and B) you don't need to suffer with this forever. There are tools to give you clarity and support you with your doubts and fears.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

P.S. Thanks so much for your support after my last episode... I am feeling much better. I plan to speak on my experience more in a separate episode. But for now... I'm so grateful for my life and want to keep going.

Also, I tried to make a shorter episode and failed 😄 OH WELL

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

I'm honored to bring my aunt, Diane Sigala, onto Anxious Love Coach today. In the throes of relationship anxiety, my aunt was a regular phone call I made to help me understand relationships (and men!) better. This is a delicious and sweet episode where I ask her to share the things that were helpful to me back in the darker days. I know you'll love this episode so much. Pull up a cup of tea and light a candle!

Have you ever been disgusted by your partner being cute with you? This episode might not be for everyone -- but if you and your partner adore cute things and sometimes you start wishing things got more "intellectual" or "adult-like", I've put a lot of thought into this topic to give you some perspective on why this might be the case and what you can focus on to shift things to a deeper place in your relationship.

In this episode, I cover what causes jealousy in partnership, why it isn’t something to get rid of, and how to transform it into a gift rather than a hindrance to your relationship.

• BOTH FEET IN: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

• AUSTRIA retreat – email me. I dropped my email in the episode. :-)

In this episode, I chat with a dear friend of mine and coach, Sarah Yudkin, who has been inhabiting the relationship anxiety space with me for years! In this episode, we address the following:

What is “the right” relationship and is that even the question we should be asking ourselves?

What it means to make an aligned decision

How does one discern whether or not a relationship is worth investing more time into?

Find Sarah over at www.instagram.com/youloveandyoulearn

Other links:

If you want to attend my retreats in June or September, email me “RETREAT” at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com

Pick my brain on Wisio here: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Apply to work 1:1 with me here: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

In this episode, Luci Lampe, a sex and relationship coach (who I’ve worked with personally) hops on the ALC podcast to share the 5 stages of relationship evolution. As you listen, get curious in which stage you and your partner might be in. Relationship anxiety falls into one of these categories, but overcoming relationship anxiety isn’t the end of the journey! It’s just the beginning. I hope this episode will give you insights into the long haul of the relationship journey.

You can enroll in Luci’s programs through my affiliate link here:

https://the-wild-awakening.teachable.com/?affcode=1051804_8anrysej

If you:

-are with someone struggling with relationship anxiety/ROCD and want to do your part...

-were broken up with because of someone's RA...

-are struggling with RA, but want to see what your partner's "work" is...

-want to look at your RA from an outsider's perspective...

... then this episode is for you!

Links:

Submit a Wisio here

Next Irvine, CA donations class - movement, breath, discussion, lunch

Irvine Oct 29 10am PST

NEXT PATREON CALL:

Nov 5 @ 11am PST Exclusive content + monthly coaching (my husband is jumping on at 150 patrons and we are SO CLOSE.)

Time Stamps:

4:26 Being the most attracted to my partner when he was more selfish

7:51  Your partner’s relationship anxiety is not your fault/this person is wounded and trying to resolve their issues through you

12:40  Tools for a person whose partner has relationship anxiety

15:14  Keep focusing on yourself

20:00  Become ok with them leaving

24:10 Let control and let your partner be without trying to fix them

28:15 There is always the option to leave

31:12 You can still stay out of their inner process while still staying in the relationship

36:50 Don’t try to control your ex-partner if they break up with you by telling them they have relationship anxiety

39:23  My upcoming Both Feet In program in January

When you're experiencing relationship anxiety, hearing "trust your gut" or "listen to your intuition" can be one of the most triggering things you can hear. Is your intuition telling you to leave, or is it ROCD? Tune in with Chelsea Joy Horton, OCD specialist with her masters in dance movement therapy and counseling. Together we share the more accurate measurements of determining how to trust your decision about your partner.

If you’ve ever found yourself confessing your intrusive thoughts to your partner in order to feel better, you’re not alone! However, you might be doing more harm to yourself and to your relationship than good. In this episode, I offer a compassionate view on where the urge to confess comes from, along with some reframes of how to stop it so that you can trust yourself and relieve your partner from the burden of having to rescue you from your discomfort.

If you’re ready to join our programs, visit www.anxiouslovecoach.com

In this episode, I talk about the curvature of expectations held in marriage/partnership over the centuries, and how in this day and age, it is beneficial, in some ways, to lower your expectations. I also address the "alpha male" and "high value man" conversation, and why we ought to be cautious and discerning about it. If you wish your partner was more spiritual or brought home more money, this episode will bring you some perspective, and how lowering your expectations will paradoxically open you up to receive MORE than you ever dreamed of in your partnership.

Links:

Also, it’s my birthday! Take 31% off all my courses with the code BIRTHDAY31 until August 31: 

Conscious Communication Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Both Feet In Relationship Anxiety Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Quit Comparing Your Relationship Challenge:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon here for more content and live monthly calls:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

3:00  Being happy with a loving, nonabusive, stable partner

5:25  Having both masculine and feminine sides to yourself

7:23 Ways I would “test” my partner in the past

16:00 Wanting your partner to “be more masculine”

18:12 The dangers of seeing your relationship as a competition

25:25 My thoughts on the new Barbie film

32:00 Social messages telling us to be extraordinary

33:23 Holding a desire for the life that you want vs. having expectations of your partner

36:50 The feminine will always want more

39:45 Don’t compare your nuanced relationship to a polarizing fantasy

Every worry you're "settling" if you stay with your partner? You're not alone: this thought process isn't your fault and it has good reason for being there-- but there are a ton of ways it isn't helpful when looking at relationships, especially for someone that struggles with relationship OCD. In this episode, we will debunk the myth of "settling" and empower you with some better language to use about your relationship so that you can enjoy what's wonderful right in front of you!

This is a juicy one and very humbling. In this episode, I chat with my friend Mollie Birney, a clinical life coach, about the difference between autonomy-respecting boundaries and manipulative boundaries, how to know if you're showing up with an agenda in your boundary-setting, and what to do instead to create a culture of autonomy and safety in your relationship.

In this episode, I share how the lack of sisterhood/brotherhood/community can contribute to relationship anxiety and dissatisfaction, and how to cultivate it.

Links:

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Next Patreon group coaching call at Oct 8th, 11am PST/2pm EST

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

5:00  Losing the passion in your relationship

8:10  The importance of a brotherhood and sisterhood

11:00  Attempts to fill the relationship void with outside sources

15:59 Unworthiness wounds and how they prevent us from accepting love

17:30 Your man will never understand what it’s like to be a woman and you will never understand what it’s like to be a man

20:30  How a lack of sisterhood can lead to nitpicking

24:30 The Anxious Love Coach Patreon

I'm overjoyed and humbled to bring on someone hugely impactful in my life. Shayna Hiller is a yoga and tantric arts teacher living in Venice Beach, California. Shayna has also been a business coach for me in the past and is one of the reasons I developed the confidence to share my truth today.

Amazingly, our paths have crossed again -- particularly in the field of women's sensuality and empowerment. If you have a womb, and struggle to connect with your femininity, creativity, and/or sexuality, or tend to have a hard time getting "turned on" in the bedroom, this episode is DEFINITELY for you!

We're talking what to do if your relationship anxiety causes you to be attracted to someone else! "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second." I dissected this popular quote (which is loaded) by Johnny Depp over on Instagram live and give you strategies for pulling out of the fantasy and reconnecting with your partner.

I am thrilled to welcome a dear friend, mentor, and previous guest of mine — Luci Lampe. If part of your relationship anxiety stems from lack of sexual desire — you're going to want to listen. We also discuss how neediness can be an incredible gift to awakening sexually.

I've been committed to a daily self-pleasure practice through diligently taking Luci's course "Come As You Are" and have seen incredible results. I've decided to be an ambassador and highly endorse Luci's gifts in this arena ;)

To enroll, use this link: https://the-wild-awakening.teachable.com/?affcode=1051804_8anrysej

In this episode, my friend and other relationship anxiety practitioner, Chelsea Horton over at Healing Embodied, and I share our counter-cultural relationship beliefs that have served us well and brought us deep peace in our long-term partnerships.

This episode was recorded as a joint effort - meaning it showed up on both our podcasts, and there is no formal host. Enjoy 🙂

Links:

Ask me anything and receive a 10 min video response:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon! We host monthly meetings on Zoom

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

7:00  Taking a non-entitled perspective on relationships

12:00 Creating a culture of gratitude in your relationship

14:30  #1 saying thank you to your partner even if you deserve what he/she gives

16:00 #2 I receive what I am given (say yes to what is

25:05  #3 I don’t need my partner to have similar interests to me in order to be happy

40:15  #4 I “settled” and I am deeply fulfilled (redefine what settling means to you)

46:55  #5 Trying to make my partner what I think they should be is not love, it is control

50:55  #6 I am 100% responsible for my own aliveness and pleasure

1:01:00 #7 I am okay with my partner not being perfect and fully evolved

Have you ever picked a fight with your partner after a Netflix binge? Has a show ever sent you down a spiral of doubts about your own relationship?

In this podcast, Sheridan (our amazing co-coach here at ALC) reviews the show How I Met Your Mother and how it might be triggering to you.

What has been helpful/triggering for you about How I Met Your Mother or other shows? Sheridan will be doing at least one or two more of these so podcast DM us over on Instagram @anxiouslovecoach your suggestions/comments.

In this episode, I unpack one of the biggest hidden myths I see in society: that commitment = lack of freedom. If you struggle with commitment, I will share with you some reasons why you might be struggling, as well as some shifts that have helped me become more confident in committing with my whole heart and building a life I love and deserve.

• If you want to attend my retreats in June or September, email me “RETREAT” to natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com and I will send you information.

• PATREON: http://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

• Join Both Feet In here: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

• Pick my brain on Wisio here: http://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

• I’m taking new clients! Apply to work 1:1 with me here: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

3:28 Why my partner found it hard to commit at first

7:00 I did pick a partner who was serious about me

8:45 Wanting to move forward for societal reasons

10:35 Moving forward will not change your relationship issues

11:45 Common fears about commitment

13:25 How judging others can lead to fears of certain outcomes in your relationship

16:19 The stakes of never committing

19:00 The importance of having a vision for your own life

20:00 The benefits of wanting what you have while still desiring what you don’t have

22:50 My desire to create a legacy for myself

25:55 Cleanin up your side of the street

28:20 Regardless of how we feel, we know we have a life to build together

30:50 None of us are missing out

32:24 How making a commitment can grant you more freedom

35:15 You don’t need to have the certainty to proceed

In this episode, I bring on one of my best friends and also colleagues sharing the relationship anxiety space to discuss the #1 question we both get asked in this field of work: Is it “just” relationship anxiety or are there legitimate problems in my relationship? 

We share why this is the wrong question to be asking yourself – and what you should be asking instead. We hope to bring you a lot of clarity and nuanced ways to look at this! With all our love… we may trigger you a bit!

Follow Chelsea on Instagram HERE: @healing.embodied  

Links:

Register for TRIGGERED TO TRUTH (5 week group program for unpacking triggers in relationship): https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/triggeredtotruth

Enroll in BOTH FEET IN (signature self-study course for overcoming relationship anxiety): https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for ALIVENESS FROM WITHIN (5-day women’s retreat in California): https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/aliveness-from-within

“Emotions” like anxiety and depression are often cover emotions for deeper emotions like grief and anger – and working through our resistance to these emotions so we can arrive at our “core” emotions can help us access our calm, compassionate self. In this episode, I bring on emotions educator Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of “It’s Not Always Depression,” to give you tangible tools for working through anxiety and depression to have a richer emotional experience.

Some extra resources:

Why Can’t I Shut Off My Mind? https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/post/2018/03/03/why-can-t-i-shut-off-my-mind

It’s Not Always Depression, Sometimes It’s Shame (NYT OpEd): https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/its-not-always-depression-sometimes-its-

It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect With Your Authentic Self (Random House & Penguin UK):

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Always-Depression-Authentic/dp/0399588140/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3UXPWILNH27FU&keywords=its+not+always+depression+by+hilary+jacobs+hendel&qid=1673190622&sprefix=%2Caps%2C151&sr=8-1

Print out the Change Triangle: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangle

Facilitate Emotions Education 101 Classes with the Emotions Education 101 Turnkey Curriculum: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/ee101-train-the-trainer-course

In this episode, I talk about the trap of “more is better” embedded in the honeymoon/vacation expectation and how that played out in our own honeymoon. It is my hope you can avoid this trap on your vacations!

If you want to attend my retreats in June or September, email me “RETREAT” at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com

Pick my brain on Wisio here: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Apply to work 1:1 with me here: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

• 4:33 - Looking for the extraordinary during vacations/honeymoons

• 8:28 - The more we sit in our wanting, the more there wanting we develop

• 9:30 - A quote on the desire for a more “conscious partner”

• 12:00 - The trap of having

• 15:10 - My honeymoon experience

• 20:00 - The importance of having separate lives in your partnership

• 25:40 - Seeking extraordinary experiences and how it affects your nervous system

• 27:40 - The note that I wrote to myself (and also all of you) during my honeymoon

• 32:20 - My Austria retreats on June 12-18 and September 4-10

• 35:07 - Ask me a question on Wisio

• 39:00 - Work with me one on one

I really should have titled this, "10 ways Natalie is controlling." Ha! I hope you enjoy this episode. If you want to practice trusting your partner more, I give you 10 examples of ways to do this based on mistakes I've made. Listen to this episode, save your energy and breath and grant yourself relational/marital peace.

Links:

Wisio is hosting a sale! Ask me anything for 10% off: Code: FALL23

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Next Patreon group coaching call at Oct 8th, 11am PST/2pm EST

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

2:45 Thinking of my unsolicited feedback as helpful

5:00 The difference between letting go of control and tolerating disrespect

7:56 Trying to control my partner’s bedtime and waking time

16:06  Policing my partner’s food choices

18:01  Coaching my partner when we are out having fun

20:01  Undoing what my partner does and redoing it

21:40  Sending my partner relationship advice

24:00  Making sure that my partner did what his mother asked of him

25:20  Telling my partner how to act towards his friends

26:45  Controlling how my partner cooks

29:00  Trying to have my partner open up and have a deep conversation against his will

31:55  Trying to get my partner to be more present with me

39:30  Hosting a mindful movement class in Orange County

This a fun episode for you – full of metaphors and nuanced relationship advice. Enjoy!

SALE on Programs through 2/22 - 3/25: 30% off with code HONEY30

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

I’m so thrilled to introduce Sheridan Ruth to our community at Anxious Love Coach. She is a fantastic yoga therapist, meditation teacher, and embodiment coach with her own experience with relationship anxiety. We’ve brought her on as a co-coach to support us in our client outreach and working in our deeply immersive and transformative programs. In this episode, we’ll be talking triggers: what happens inside us when we get triggered by a certain message around relationships, steps to navigate them, as well as what life looks like on the other side when you use triggers as opportunities to expand and heal. We hope you enjoy this episode!

Join my Aunt Diane and I on this podcast recorded from IG live. When I was experiencing relationship anxiety and compulsively seeking reassurance... this was the woman I called constantly until I felt comfortable enough to trust myself through this work. We had great fun with your questions and howled like hyenas. Enjoy and thanks for tuning in!

What makes a partner "good enough" to settle down with?

It's common knowledge (especially if you listen to my podcast often) that "perfect" isn't a realistic standard to search for when choosing a long-term partner. While your choice of partner is one of the most important choices you'll ever make, it doesn't mean you're settling if you chose "good enough." The question is, where is the line between "good enough" and "settling?" In this episode, I didn't necessarily draw that line for you, but gave you some different things to think about. I am hopeful that it will bring you some clarity and material for discussing with your partner when deciding whether or not to move forward.

[I recorded this on a hot delirium of a day with no AC. I went on a tangent a couple of times. Forgive me!... or maybe you'll love them. Lol.]

Links:

Also, it’s my birthday! Take 31% off all my courses with the code BIRTHDAY31 until August 31: 

Conscious Communication Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/consciouscommunication

Both Feet In Relationship Anxiety Course:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Quit Comparing Your Relationship Challenge:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

Ask me a question:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Evoke his Devotion 1 on 1 program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/evoke-his-devotion-1-on-1-program

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/overhaul-1-on-1-program

Join my Patreon here for more content and live monthly calls:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Time Stamps:

1:45  Good enough versus perfect

4:00  Wanting contradictory things out of our partner

9:00  Having a “boring”/socially awkward partner

12:03  Going through different seasons of your life with your partner

16:12  Dating in your 20s vs your 30s+

19:34  Looks are important but the men who want to build a life with you will look for substance

21:00  Not knowing what you want in your 20s

24:18  Questions to ask yourself if you’re trying to figure out if your partner is “good enough” to settle down with

32:45  Women often mature more quickly than men

37:19  Dealing with incompatibilities

43:40  Being lead in your relationship in a nonabusive context 

It's easy to focus on our partners and neglect our own “inner relationship.” In this episode, my friend Luci Lampe and I discuss the balance between our masculine and feminine sides - yin and yang - for a better partnership. We also talk about aspects of the feminine archetypes that live within all of us that are often shamed and exiled – like the “slut” and the “crazy bitch”-- and how to love and utilize these parts in ways that serve us, so we can be more authentic, free, and full of aliveness.

Links: 

Enroll in Wild Eros here: 

https://the-wild-awakening.teachable.com/?affcode=1051804_8anrysej

Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Wisio:

https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Apply to work with me 1:1: 

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

Time Stamps:

5:33 What is masculine/feminine union, and why is it important?

18:30 Collaborating in our masculine and feminine strengths

22:25 Toxic contexts for polarity

27:30 Getting sideswept by other potential partners when you are in crisis

29:00 The difference between dumping your emotions on someone and revealing your heart

31:00 The three exiled parts of the feminine: the slut, the witch and the crazy bitch

38:30  Properly integrating the exiled parts of the feminine

44:34  Being attuned to your body: a key to self trust

48:50  Coming into union with the masculine

There is one thing that so many people with relationship anxiety struggle to give themselves... and in this episode, I cover exactly that while hopping live in my exclusive Facebook group, The Anxious Love Coach Collective -- link to join in the show notes. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, and I hope this podcast has been helpful for you.

You guys– I’m absolutely HONORED to be having Somatic Sex Educator and author, Dr. Betty Martin, on the podcast today, to be dissecting giving and receiving today. Her book, The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent, has completely shifted how I look at my own patterns of giving and receiving in partnership, as well as expanded my intimacy skills with myself and other. A big component of self-trust in partnership is being able to articulate our desires, fears, boundaries, and to confront our belief systems on worthiness. All of which will be covered in this episode. Enjoy!

BOTH FEET IN:

You can purchase Betty’s book here

Trigger warning: this episode is a story. It is chock-full of triggers, pain, grief, mentions of death, blood, and gore. If you've experienced miscarriage and there are some sore spots and tenderness, I might wait until you've gotten enough support to grieve before listening to this. In this episode, I share a recent loss, and how I've coped with it through ritual, embodiment, and dark humor. I'll also share the incredible things it taught me about love, loss, and letting go...

This may not be a "relationship anxiety" episode, but for those of you who are willing to traverse with me to a darker, messier place, I'm hopeful you'll gain metaphorical, transferable lessons on self-trust from a story where I go deeper than I've ever been able to go before... you may find it applies to you deeply still if you have ever loved.

Join me for Both Feet In - Abridged staring January 19th: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-abridged

If you need immediate support, write me a Wisio. I'll make you a 7-10 minute custom video response. Here: https://wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

We will be bumping up to 2 calls a month on Patreon when we hit 250 patrons — one for Q&A and one for meditation practice! Our next call is January 21st at 11am PST. Join here: https://patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Time Stamps:

8:15 - Finding out that I was pregnant

13:15 - Dealing with my miscarriage

30:04 - Surrendering to and trusting the universe in the midst of fear

48:00 - My feelings after the miscarriage

1:00:01 - Gratitude as a response to adversity

I just returned from a women's sensuality retreat in Costa Rica and re-discovered my love for my own femininity, women, and sisterhood. There are elements of this podcast that I think would be enormously helpful for women in relationships with men who experience HOCD, or homosexuality OCD. Enjoy, this was super juicy and fun and grounding to share.

If you decide to proceed with purchasing a Foria product, use my link HERE: http://aspireiq.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=7178&aff_id=17813

After a few-months long hiatus, I’m happy to share what I’ve been up to: settling down and starting a new life. In this episode, I share some of my own humbling realities and observations of trying to conceive. Do with them what you want. I hope you find them both reassuring and illuminating.

Work with me

1. Podcast, Instagram, Tiktok, email. Subscribe to my email for a free relationship anxiety meditation. Always free

2. Patreon - exclusive posts, discounts, monthly community call for mindfulness, discussion and Q+A: $5-$9/month

3. Wisio - ask me anything and I'll make you a custom video reply with my immediate thoughts on your situation: $67

4. Both Feet In - my signature self-study course, and access to exclusive BFI group programs: $197 - $317

5. I have room to take a few 1:1 clients. Book your session(s) here: $500-$1900

Have you formed an alliance with society/family/friends or with your partner? In this episode, Chelsea Horton, Relationship Anxiety Specialist and dance therapist, joins me on IG live as we explain what's really happening when we feel embarrassed by our partner's imperfections in public. We also share what you can do to feel more at ease around this, and increase the likelihood of your partner showing up in a way you feel proud of and confident around. 

You guys. I finally bought on my BEST FRIEND of 6 years, Kate Kali, a hypnotherapist and body language expert, whose work and mine are having overlap these days! EEK! In this episode, we will give you some strategies to increase attraction, captivate your partner, and add aliveness in your partnership… JUST by changing your body language. It’s a FASCINATING episode that will totally change your life. Enjoy!

In this episode, my co-coach Sheridan and I explore the role of grief in unpacking anxiety within healthy, loving, flawed partnerships. It is so important to not take every thought at face value, but to dig deeper!