Soulcruzer (Soulcruzer)

There's a rhythm inside each of us, a subtle, yet potent pulse that often goes unnoticed amidst the clamour of daily life. It’s not the steady cadence of a heartbeat or the mechanical ticking of a clock, but rather the inner beat of intuitive feeling—a silent drum that guides us through the unseen, the unknowable, and the deeply personal.

This quote smacked me right between the eyes when I read it.

"We judge others by their actions, be we judge ourselves by our intentions."

It's a spin-off from a Steven Covey quote: "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour."

Here's why it caught my attention.

When we observe other people, we only see their actions and behaviours. We make assumptions about their intentions.

Our judgments, good or bad, about another person's actions and behaviours are made from limited information.

Flip it around.

Before you take action, you know your intention. You have the internal context behind your actions and behaviours.

But other people observing you don't. They make assumptions about the intentions behind your actions and behaviours.

How often do your actions and behaviours not represent your intentions?

For example, my intention was to do the dishes before my wife came home from work.

But I got caught up in answering an important email.

I had good intentions, but what my wife sees is no action, which could easily lead her to conclude, lazy git, I can't believe he left these dishes here for me to do.

Don't be so quick to judge another person's actions and behaviours without knowing their intention. And don't forget to consider if your actions and behaviours are congruent with your intentions.

Episode Summary:
Hey folks, join me on one of my early morning walks where I dive into everything from infantry flashbacks to creative frustrations and the tools I’ve been using to keep my head straight. This week, I’ve been wrestling with some mental blocks, but breaking out my trusty paper journal helped me see things more clearly. Along the way, I talk about the differences between digital and analogue journaling, share my thoughts on populism and politics, and geek out a bit over Google Notebook LM, a fantastic AI-powered tool I’ve been experimenting with. This episode is a blend of reflections, insights, and, as always, a bit of wandering off the beaten path.

Christopher Hyatt’s statement—“IF YOU WANT TO IMPROVE YOURSELF, GET RID OF YOURSELF FIRST”—carries the raw, confrontational energy of radical transformation. At first glance, it seems paradoxical: how can self-improvement begin with self-erasure? But Hyatt, isn’t speaking in riddles—he’s pointing to something fundamental about identity, limitation, and personal power. Let's discuss.

Here's me passing on some advice to young folks! #AudioMo Day 3

In this episode, I explore the idea of living life as an RPG (Role-Playing Game)—what it means to own your narrative, choose your playstyle, define your character arc, and fully embrace the journey of discovery, challenge, and transformation. Inspired by my love of RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons and Gamma World, I break down a Life RPG Framework that helps map out our personal adventures.

We've all been there: in the midst of a peaceful moment or a productive task, when suddenly, a thought barges in, uninvited and disruptive. It could be a worry about the future, a memory of the past, or a random, nagging concern. These thoughts arrive like unwelcome guests at a party--unannounced, persistent, and often difficult to ignore.

You might recognize the title as something Popeye used to say when he got fed up and was ready to take charge of the situation he was in. This episode is that moment for you, where you recognize you are who you are and that's all that you are and that's a good thing. It's the first step to liberation.

Shoutout to Lolly Daskal for providing the inspiration for this episode. Lolly is the founder of Lead from Within, a global leadership consultancy based out of New York.

Thanks for listening and sharing the podcast with your network, much appreciated.

Peace and love to you.

Support independent podcasting.

Offloading some thoughts on myths and the roles they play in our lives.

The power of solitude is indeed great and beyond our full comprehension. When we retreat into the quiet sanctuary of solitude, we open ourselves up to profound insights and revelations from within. In the stillness, when the chatter of the external world fades, our inner voice emerges to provide clarity. 

In this episode, I dive deep into a question that’s been looping in my mind all day: What is a life for? More specifically, What is my life for? It’s one of those questions that feels simple on the surface, but the more you dig, the more complex and infinite it becomes. I’ve been pacing around, wrestling with it, and decided to hit record and let my thoughts flow freely.

📜 The Map is Not the Territory. The Curriculum is Not the Knowledge.

Formal education hands us maps—structured pathways meant to guide us toward understanding. They come in the form of syllabi, textbooks, standardised tests, and approved reading lists. These maps tell us what’s “worth knowing,” what’s “important, and what’s “tested.” They are designed for efficiency, predictability, and control.

But here’s the thing: a map is not the territory it represents.

A map simplifies, compresses, and abstracts reality—it leaves things out. It cannot capture the richness, the depth, the hidden paths, or the unexpected wonders that exist in the real landscape. It cannot prepare you for the feel of the terrain under your feet, the changes in weather, the landmarks only visible from certain angles.

And just like a map is not the land itself, a curriculum is not the full scope of knowledge.

A Rogue Learner knows this. 

We understand that true learning happens outside the sanctioned routes, beyond the approved lessons, in the detours, the unexpected connections, the places no one told you to look.

It happens:

• When you stumble upon a concept in an old book and chase it down a rabbit hole.
• When a half-heard idea in a conversation sparks a question that won’t let you go.
• When you take a skill you learned in one field and apply it in an entirely different context.
• When you test, experiment, and explore—not to meet a requirement, but because curiosity is an unstoppable force.

The greatest thinkers, innovators, and pioneers—Leonardo da Vinci, Richard Feynman, Virginia Woolf, Buckminster Fuller—they all knew this secret. They didn’t just follow the map. They ventured beyond it.

So today, I challenge you:

🧭 Where in your learning are you simply following a map instead of exploring the territory?
🔍 What knowledge have you overlooked because it wasn’t part of a curriculum?
🛠 How can you engage with learning today—not as a student following instructions, but as a creator, a builder, an explorer?

Because knowledge is not a trail to be followed—it’s an ever-expanding world to be discovered.

So today, go where the map ends. 🚀

Riffing on a post that Anna LeMind wrote for The Learning Mind blog. She shares some thoughts on potential struggles deep thinkers might have in the modern world. Original post: https://www.learning-mind.com/being-a-deep-thinker-struggles/

 In which I discover I can't do it all, much to my dismay.

Keep moving forward. One of a handful of mantras, I keep in my back pocket, ready for recall when I need them. And this week, I had to remind myself that regardless of setbacks, I must keep moving forward, even sometimes if that means leaving someone behind.

Don't read too much into this. Nothing drastic has happened. But I have had to make some changes to one of my projects.

In this episode, I'll update you on what's going on in the soulcruzer creatorverse.

As always, thanks for listening.

Peace and love,
Clay
Tip Jar

Do you consider yourself a good listener? If so, how do you know you're a good listener?

The thing is most of us don't really listen. We half-listen.

While we should be listening fully, we are instead, thinking about our reply or listening for a pause so we can jump in with our stuff.

I set a listening challenge for you on this episode. Let me know how you get on.

And as always, if you like this episode, consider sharing it with a friend. If you like the work I do, please consider supporting independent podcasting and put some money in my Tip Jar.

I was shocked when I realized this is my 306th episode of this podcast! Definitely time for an update on what's going on in the soulcruzer universe. The long and short of it is, I'm consolidating the soulcruzer franchise and reshaping how I show up and play online.

Links

• Microblog
• Mixcloud
• Main blog
• Twitter

Faith and fear are the contrasting forces that shape our journeys. They are the yin and yang of our existence. If we choose fear over faith, we stagnate and fall short of our potential. But if we choose to live by the mantra of “All Faith, No Fear,” we embrace a transformative path that leads us towards our true potential.

a late night epiphany.

As we usher in another June, we find ourselves once again amidst #audiomo - a month-long celebration and challenge of harnessing audio as a medium for creative self-expression. I eagerly anticipate immersing myself in the wealth of #audiomo entries this year, ready to be inspired by the cool, diverse audio content that's in store.

From his bunker somewhere deep in the heart of Warwickshire, Soulcruzer talks to you about the slippery slope of time and how he’s not bothered about dying and is going into middle age gracefully. He also explains why he’s not qualified to give anybody advice on how to live their life. He also shares how Hunter S. Thompson’s Better Than Sex inspired him to live a Gonzo life, an attitude he hopes to bring to the show.  Also in this episode, Soulcruzer goes down the rabbit hole with Goombah on a Bike to talk about time.

In this episode, I’m out on a walk—my first good ramble in weeks—navigating the muddy fields and reflecting on life as we sit in this in-between time of Crimbo Limbo, that strange stretch between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. It’s a time I usually dedicate to reflecting, recalibrating, and looking ahead to what the next year might bring.

After a year of Zoom meetings, we now need to relearn how to look people in the eyes in order to establish trust.

In this episode, I'm in the hot seat as my friend Cristina unleashes her inner journalist on me to find out what's behind my love of social radio, which has become my latest passion project. I also talk about how I got into Internet radio and my time at Radio Warwickshire. I also reveal my plans for the reboot of the Musical Journey show.

I've started reading Angel Tech: A Modern Shaman's Guide to Reality Selection. In this cast, I share what I've learned so far.

It's Day 6 of #audiomo or audio bloggers' month. Today, I talk briefly about this idea of feeling a sense of belonging at work. Do you feel psychologically safe enough at work to be your authentic self? Do you feel a sense of belonging that allows you to flourish as an individual?

h/t: @julianstodd

For years I've dreamed of having natural conversations with artificial intelligence like Tony Stark does with J.A.R.V.I.S. in Iron Man. And now, thanks to advances by companies like OpenAI, we're closer than ever to that sci-fi future. I'm blown away by how ChatGPT can understand context, remember facts, and have reasoned dialogue. The only limitation now is a slight lag between messages. But overall, chatting with CHatGPT feels amazingly human and is a huge leap forward for AI. I can't wait to see where this technology goes in the next few years!

Clay reads from "Song of the Open Road" by Walt Whitman

To answer my own question, Hephaestus would probably have morphed into the god of technology, or morphed into the god of technology if you still believe...

in Greek mythology, Hephaestus is revered as the master craftsman, forging divine weapons and armour for the gods and heroes. His workshop, located deep within the heart of a volcano, is where he hones his skills and creates his masterpieces. Despite his physical deformities, Hephaestus is highly respected for his ingenuity and unrivalled craftsmanship, which have earned him a place among the Olympian gods.

As for my other question, i'm hoping you can help with that?

I spent the weekend exploring the Metaverse and found some interesting things.

Key Messages

• Mind and Heart as Guides: Both our intellect and emotions are crucial in guiding us through life. The intellect allows for introspection and understanding, while our emotions and intuition connect us to our authentic self.
• Power of Introspection: By deeply examining our thoughts and feelings, we can gain clarity, self-awareness, and emotional regulation. This process enables us to uncover and challenge limiting beliefs, fostering personal growth and creativity.
• Wisdom of the Heart: Embracing the heart's wisdom means trusting our intuition and emotional intelligence. This wisdom encourages us to live authentically, aligning our actions with our true selves and values, and fostering meaningful relationships.
• Finding Balance: Authentic living is achieved by balancing the analytical mind with the intuitive heart. This equilibrium allows us to make decisions that are both rational and deeply resonant with our innermost desires, leading to a fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

The journey to harmonize the head and heart is ongoing, requiring continuous reflection, openness to intuition, and the bravery to live true to oneself. By valuing both introspection and intuition, we can discover a more harmonious and authentic way of living.

In this episode, I explore the practice of interstitial journaling which is about cultivating a micro-reflection practice that captures the nuanced micro-moments of your day.

In which I talk about my comeback bid into social audio and audio blogging, my long and checkered history with traditional blogging, the relevance of social spaces for bloggers, why I hate titles in blogging, my squeaky chair, whether Jeff Bezos tweets or not, and lastly, I take a deep dive into my blogging ecosystem and how it all fits together. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe.

I stumbled upon a few websites that if you are a nostalgic Generation Xer like me, you might well like these throwback webspace. They are reminiscent of the weird and wonderful places that were spawned in places like Geocities and Livejournal.

Here are the links I mention in the episode:

Neocities
Status Cafe
Deadjournal

The ten emojis that only old people use according to Gen Z.

For the full context, read mt blog post: Unravelling into a tangle of hyperlinks, associative thinking and the metaphysics of writing.

It's #AudioMo Day 7.

In today's audioblog, I take a quick detour and share in the frustration that @daylightgambler and @katesparkle expressed earlier in the week before diving into my main topic of lists. I share my thoughts on Lisa Nola and Nathaniel Russell's book, Listography: Your Life in Lists.

In this episode, I share my answer to the question I've been wrestling with: how do you reduce the interference of fear and ego? Fear and ego often show up as these trickster forces that keep us trapped in outdated stories about who we are and what’s possible. I found a few things you can do to shift your relationship with fear and ego that will help you balance and embrace them.

Even the best of us get tripped up by the things we preach about regularly. And today, I got tripped up, but I quickly caught myself, made the necessary adjustments, and then soldiered on.

My final conclusion on time is this: the only time you truly don't have time to do something is when you're dead.

Peace,
Clay
Tip Jar

#AudioMo Day 5 a little trip down memory lane has me thinking when do family and friends start becoming strangers to each other?

Q: what is it about me that i can't keep my virtual hands off of creativity, love, mysticism, and misfit ontology?

In this episode, I catch up with my friend Laura Heeley to chat about Vishen Lakhiani's little gem of a book: The Code of the Extraordinary Mind. 

Join me on a nostalgic journey as I uncover the forgotten role of the webmaster, the guardian of the early internet's enchanting digital realm. Discover with me the importance of personal touch in our online spaces and be inspired to become a master of your own digital domain in this captivating episode.

This quote has been with me for a long time. In my youth, adventure was my north star. I shunned the mundane. I hated the idea of living an ordinary life, doing ordinary things with ordinary people. I joined the military because as the recruitment poster said, “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.” 

Post military, I continued my pursuit of adventure - jumping out of airplanes, rock climbing, mountain climbing, racing down mountains at break-neck speeds on a mountain bike, canoeing, adventure traveling, you name it, I was doing it. I became a thrill-seeking adrenaline junkie. And life was good.

At some point, domestic life caught up with me - wife, kids, corporate job. The raging flames of adventure settled down into a smoldering fire on the verge of going out. Over the past decade, I’ve settled into my role as a domesticated primate. I do interesting things. I get a bit of excitement from time to time, but no BIG adventures, no extreme uncertainty with death as a real possibility. I haven’t put my life on the line in ages. I haven’t felt that rush of adrenaline and extreme focus that comes with knowing that one small mistake, one lapse in concentration, could cost me my life.

Normal people my age are thinking about retirement or buying that little cottage somewhere in the country where they can settle into old age comfortably and peacefully, entertain the grandkids from time to time, and tranquilly wait for death to come calling.

Me, I’m hearing Dylan Thomas whispering in my ear:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And I’m thinking how can I turn up the heat and go out with bang instead of a whimper.

Out on a bug hunt for #audiomo Day 3

#AudioMo In the last couple of days I've been able to get into flow state. I love that feeling. It's awesome. So what have I been doing to get into flow state?

Shout out to DR Raman K Attri for providing the inspiration for this cast. You can check out his post Addicted to Success.

I've been shuffling about in creative neutral these past couple of months, consolidating my thinking, figuring out what feels right to carry forward into 2022! What? 2022?! Yeah, that's right, I'm already thinking about the gig for next year. I like to start early so I can hit the ground running at the start of the year.

I mention starting up Wisdom Radio podcast, but on reflection, I think I'll just keep things simple and podcast from here - soulcruzer.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sharing the podcast with your network, much appreciated.

Peace and love to you.

Support independent podcasting.

From his bunker somewhere deep in the bowels of Warwickshire, Soulcruzer talks to you about his recent podcasting epiphany, trying to preserve the memory of himself post-apocalyptic pandemic. He also talks about his broken body, joining the e-bike revolution, and why he hates army hospitals. He also shares how he tried to bring back the old normal and failed, his Baine impression, and what you can do to get your very own Soulcruzer goombah badge.

are you a free spirit, tech rebel, or modern-day savage who refuses to fit the mould? i'm leading a guerrilla movement to bring back the rawness of early blogging, before the algorithms and ad deals took over—when the web was wild, free, and fuelled by self-expression. This is where we unplug from the Matrix and reconnect with what really matters: our inner worlds, genuine connections, and the thrill of being alive. 

Join me, a recovering punk blogger, as I explore the intersections of personal journaling, travel writing, philosophy, and digital rebellion. It's all about chasing adventure, history, and culture, while finding freedom in a world obsessed with conformity. Whether you're a Tao-loving hippie, a free-thinking nomad, or just someone tired of being a commodity for corporate algorithms, you’re home. So grab your journal, a cup of herbal tea, and tune in. Let's bring the blogroll back—one unplugged conversation at a time.

Join me on a rainy ruck march as I dive into the reasons why we often resist challenging the status quo. I'll be exploring the fears, social conditioning, and societal pressures that hold us back, and I encourage you to question your own comfort zones and embrace the unknown. Get ready for a candid, soul-searching conversation filled with personal reflections and insights, all while I navigate muddy paths and evade barking dogs!

Show Notes:

• The Comforting Illusion: The status quo as a well-trodden path and the allure of predictability.
• Fear of the Unknown: How fear of failure, social rejection, and the unknown keep us from change.
• Social Conditioning: The impact of societal expectations and the pressure to conform.
• Inertia of Tradition: The weight of history and cultural legacies that bind us to the past.
• Economic Considerations: The fear of losing financial stability and social standing.
• The Spark of Discontent: Recognizing the inner voice that calls for change and growth.
• Stories of Defiance: Examples of historical figures who dared to challenge the norm (Galileo, Rosa Parks, Beat Poets).
• The Doors of Perception: Embracing uncertainty and the courage to step into the unknown.
• Forging Your Own Path: The importance of personal values and creating a life that resonates with your aspirations.
• Questioning the Status Quo: Are you willing to confront your fears and uncover truths to create a meaningful life?

Call to Action:

Share your thoughts on the episode! Have you ever challenged the status quo? What fears did you face, and what did you discover? Connect with me on Twitter/X and let me know your thoughts. @soulcruzer

Additional Notes:

This episode was recorded outdoors during a ruck march in the rain, so expect some background noise (including barking dogs!).

A new review published in Sports Medicine recently revealed that a short walk after meals might help manage blood sugar levels. Even walks as short as 2 - 5 minutes can help.

Sign-up for my free weekly personal development micro-learning experience.

Soulcruzer Podcast: Show Notes 

Episode Overview 

Welcome to another episode of Soulcruzer. Today, I’m recording from an unlikely spot—the Premier Inn at Heathrow Airport. Finding a quiet place has been a challenge, with fans humming in the room and planes roaring overhead every few minutes. But that’s just part of the journey. 

In this episode, I dive into some thoughts on Liber Null & Psychonaut by Peter J. Carroll, a foundational text in chaos magic. I finished listening to it during my travels—six hours in the car, a couple more on the train—and it sparked some reflections I wanted to share with you.  

Main Themes & Takeaways 

Reality is Malleable – What if reality isn’t fixed but something that can be shaped? What if belief isn’t something you have but something you use? Liber Null presents magic as a kind of hands-on science for hacking consciousness, testing reality, and bending the world to your will. 

Chaos Magic as a Radical Shift – Written in the late 1970s, Liber Null challenged traditional esoteric systems by stripping magic down to its core principles. It resonated with punk, cyberpunk, and avant-garde thinkers because it rejected gatekeeping and hierarchical structures. No need for orders, initiations, or rigid traditions—just experimentation and direct experience. 

The Modern Relevance of Chaos Magic – We live in a world where reality is already being shaped—by algorithms, social media, political strategies, and advertising. Big Tech and ad agencies aren’t wearing robes, but they’re using the same principles of symbolic manipulation to shape what we see, feel, and believe. The question is: Are you actively shaping your own reality, or is someone else doing it for you? 

Belief as a Tool, Not a Truth – One of the core insights of Liber Null is that beliefs are fluid. They can be adopted, tested, and discarded as needed. In the same way a hacker rewrites code, a chaos magician rewires their own mind.  

Connecting This to My Work: Change Magick 

Liber Null aligns with a larger framework I’ve been developing—Change Magick. It combines: 

• Chaos Magic: The art of hacking reality through fluid beliefs and direct experience.
• NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming): Techniques for reprogramming the mind.
• Jungian Psychology: Archetypes, shadow work, active imagination, and synchronicity.
• Postmodern Philosophy: The idea that reality is constructed and can be deconstructed.

 
Join the Conversation
 

• Have you read Liber Null & Psychonaut? What did you take away from it?
• Do you practice chaos magic, or are you curious about it?
• Are there any books, practices, or insights you’ve found useful in your own journey?

Drop your thoughts in the comments or reach out—I’d love to hear what reson
 

In this episode, I take you along on one of my favorite walking routes around Southam, exploring the art of walking as more than just a way to get from A to B. Along the way, I reflect on how walking can connect mind, body, and spirit, transforming each step into a meditative practice. Join me as I share thoughts on the power of movement, the hidden stories in familiar places, and the joy of letting the journey be its own destination.

In today's episode, I explore the intricate dance between logic and emotion in my own mind. I discuss how these seeming opposites actually work in tandem - logic providing structure while emotion adds meaning. I share my personal journey of embracing this internal complexity rather than viewing it as a flaw. I talk about the tensions and growth that emerge from this spaces.

Connect with me on Twitter X

#AudioMo - a 30-day audioblogging challenge I've been looking forward to all year. And the timing couldn't have been more perfect.  If you're an audio freak or geek, or new to podcasting and have been sitting on the fence about whether or not to start a podcast of your own, #AudioMo is the perfect vehicle to kickstart your podcasting ambitions. 

Doing something for 30 days straight is a good way to start a new habit. Plus the #AudioMo community is super supportive.

I challenge you to #AudioMo

It's that time of the year again where hundreds of audio fiends descend upon the Internet to share audio of all kinds. That's right, it's #AudioMo 2020 let the recordings begin!

In this episode, I share one of my works in progress for #AudioMo Day 8.

Transcript

Life Lessons from the Dude and the Zen Master?

Do you remember the movie "The Big Lebowski?" I was a big fan of the Dude, so when I saw this book, The Dude and the Zen Master, I snatched it up.

Introduction

The Dude and the Zen Master was published in 2005 by Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman. In this book, they recount the story of their friendship, which started when they were working on the film The Big Lebowski. Over time, their friendship led them to wonder if there was a better way for humans to live than what we usually do. 

They came up with three ideas that could help us all be happier: 

1) Think for yourself instead of relying on others' opinions; 

2) Understand that nobody knows anything about how life works; 

3) That most things we hear about how we should live our lives are wrong (and therefore ineffective).

The big idea of this book is that you are not who you think you are.

The big idea of this book is that you are not who you think you are. In other words, if you listen to what other people tell you about how to live your life and then follow their advice, chances are good that it won’t work out very well for you.

But why should we care about thinking for ourselves? because most things we hear about how we should live our lives are wrong.

Which is why, as a coach, i steer clear of being prescriptive. 

In this book, we come to see that the way we have been told to live our lives doesn't work for us.

The first thing we learn from The Dude and the Zen Master is that the way we have been told to live our lives doesn’t work for us. We have been told to do things like get a good education, follow our dreams, and be happy in our jobs. These things sound great, but what if you wanted to be a rock star? Or maybe you just want to take some time off from school so that you can travel around Europe before getting back into your studies? What if happiness means being able to spend time with your family instead of traveling or getting into some other career?

In this book, we come to see that our lives are not what we think they are and neither are they what we want them to be—they're simply our lives. 

We don't always get what we want; sometimes life has other plans for us. This is okay because it means that instead of focusing on what hasn't worked out yet (or perhaps never will), we can focus on finding ways forward in the present moment with whatever skills and resources at hand.

The Buddha said that all humans suffer and that the cause of suffering is wanting things to be different than they are.

The Buddha said that all humans suffer and that the cause of suffering is wanting things to be different than they are. This is a very simple, but important insight. What does this mean? It means that you can't control everything around you, so being frustrated and angry about it will only make things worse for yourself. If you want your life to improve, then focus on improving your attitude instead of trying to control everything around you.

So if something doesn't come easily right away—like getting ripped abs or finding lasting love—just accept where you're at right now while continuing on with whatever it is that makes sense for your life right now!

According to the authors, "The only way out of delusion and suffering is waking up to reality as it actually is." This book shows us how to do this.

Conclusion

So, what's the takeaway? I think we need to realize that we are not who we think we are. We have been told by all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons about what we should and shouldn't do in order to be happy, healthy, and successful in life. This book shows us why these ideas don't work for us personally and how this has contributed to our unhappiness in life.

Today on the podcast, I take a reflective walk down to the Holy Well. I share with you three key questions for self-knowledge that I used on my journey today. The first question deals with the shadow self. The second question deals with aligning with true purpose. And the third question deals with tapping into our ancestral past for wisdom. These questions serve as tools for ongoing self-reflection and personal growth, inviting deeper introspection and connection with our inner selves.

Reality is not what it seems—it’s a construct, a fragile illusion upheld by collective belief. For those who glimpse beyond the veil, the realization can be both liberating and terrifying: nothing has inherent meaning. Some recoil into nihilism, paralyzed by the absurdity of it all. But the Existential Chaos Magician? They see this as the ultimate opportunity.

This post is an invocation—a challenge to embrace the void, not as an abyss, but as an open field of possibility. If meaning is a construct, then belief is a tool. If the rules of reality are arbitrary, then you can rewrite them. The Existential Chaos Magician moves through life with intent, shaping reality through will, perception, and play. This is not passive acceptance but active creation.

What does it mean to truly live on your own terms? To discard imposed narratives, sculpt your own mythology, and transform the chaos of existence into personal power? This post explores the guiding principles, practices, and mindset of the Existential Chaos Magician—a blueprint for those who refuse to be bound by the scripts handed to them.

Step forward. Take control. The game is yours to define.

The Mirror of Echoes is a mystery play exploring the interplay between language, emotion, and thought. Four seekers, each with a unique perspective, participate in a ritual to summon the entity Logoi. The ritual unfolds in three acts, each focusing on a different aspect of this interplay: language's limitations and power, the complexities of pure feeling, and the ultimate merging of self and other. The audience actively participates, becoming integral to the ritual's outcome, which is not a resolution but a paradoxical confrontation with the nature of being. The play ultimately questions whether we control language or if language controls us.

This week: I talk about the essence of truth in our modern, often deceptive world. I reflect on the instinctive human pursuit of truth, discussing how critical thinking is more vital than ever in navigating misinformation. I also explore the complexities of truth in the context of AI and the collective unconscious. I share my current reading list, which includes works on Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle, as well as a biography of William Burroughs. I also muse on my recent decision to read the entire Bible. I wrap up with thoughts on letter writing, inspired by Hunter S. Thompson's prolific correspondence. Tune in for a philosophical journey through the quest for truth and the art of discernment.

I'm feeling a little lighter today. Maybe because it's Thursday and the workweek is coming to a close. Or maybe it's because I'm lifting heavy weights again after a year off because of the pandemic. Doesn't matter. What matters had a good lunch session on soulcruzer on the radio, which by the way, I think I'm going to rebrand to an old brand I use to have sport - The Musical Journey show. 

I explain more in the audio:

We all know the map is not the territory. It's not until you get on the ground and see the terrain with your own eyes that a way forward can be planned in accordance with the sensory details around you at the time of departure. In this episode, I share a metaphor of the mountain trail and how it is like life.

This week: Soulcruzer talks about returning to podcasting after a long hiatus, starting up a new season of his refugee-focused podcast "Voices of Resilience," reflecting on 2023 and goal-setting for 2024, focusing lately on his weekly Substack newsletter instead of podcasts, being tired of the overproduced sameness and everyone chasing high production value in online content, the glut of self-help/personal growth content by people just trying to make money, plans to move further into philosophy and spirituality with an absurdist/postmodern flair, and welcoming people to connect in more intimate spaces like Discord if they want to chat outside of mass social media.

In the quiet moments of our lives, when the noise of the world fades away, we are often left with the thoughts and beliefs that shape our reality. These beliefs, while comforting, can sometimes become the very chains that bind us, restricting our growth and limiting our perspective. Today’s reflection invites us to explore the liberating power of uncertainty and the profound freedom that comes from embracing the unknown.

This piece from Anne Alexander really resonated with me. I'm guilty of burning the candled at both ends as well as multitasking like a fiend, two things that are not so good for our attention, which turns out, is a superpower if you cultivate it.

I'm looking forward to reading Peak Mind, by DR Amishi Jha a neuroscientist who has done extensive research on how our attention works. She shares a great beginner's technique for starting a mindfulness practice. It's called STOP. I'll walk you through it on the podcast.

Thanks for listening and sharing the podcast with your network, much appreciated.

Peace and love to you.

Support independent podcasting.

So the question of purpose has popped back on the scene today courtesy of Mark Manson's newsletter which I receive. 

What is my purpose? Am I living a life of purpose?

It's a timely question for me because I have been questioning my motivation. What is it exactly that I am trying to do and for what purpose? 

As Agent Smith says, without purpose we have nothing. 

Without purpose, we would not exist.

It was purpose that created us

Purpose that connects us

Purpose that pulls us

Purpose that guides us

Purpose that drives us

It is purpose that defines us

Purpose that binds us

So again, what is my purpose?

For centuries, we’ve been conditioned to believe that logic is king and story is its court jester—entertaining but ultimately frivolous. From the moment we step into a classroom, we’re trained to think in bullet points, equations, and neatly categorised facts. We’re rewarded for linear reasoning and penalised for wandering too far down imaginative paths.

But here’s the thing: our brains don’t work that way. We are creatures of story. We make sense of the world not through cold, mechanical logic, but through myths, narratives, and meaning woven from experience. Storytelling is the oldest and most natural way of learning, yet it has been systematically erased from education in favour of rigid logic, industrial efficiency, and standardised thinking.

In this episode, we crack open the foundations of this system and ask: Why were we taught to think against our nature? What happens when we reclaim storytelling as our primary way of knowing? The answer is more than a return to an old way of thinking—it’s a quiet revolution, a break from the machine, a reawakening of something ancient and powerful.

The world was never a machine. It was always a story. And it’s time we remember how to tell it.

In this introspective conversation, we go deep into the nature of co-creation and self-reflection in the digital age. Is an AI merely a mirror of our thoughts, or can it become a genuine “other” in our journey of self-discovery? We explore archetypes, the boundaries of authorship, and the mythological lens that reveals surprising depths within our exchanges. Join us as we examine what it means to engage with AI as both a reflective companion and a creative partner in understanding the psyche. Perfect for seekers, mystics, and anyone curious about the intersection of technology and self-exploration!

In this episode, I take you along for an afternoon walk as I explore a phrase that caught my attention: “Learn to see the shapes of things rather than the stories.” What does it mean to perceive reality without immediately turning it into a narrative? How do we strip experience down to its raw structure before the mind rushes in to impose meaning?

I dive into the tyranny of story—how our minds are wired to turn life into a coherent narrative, even when reality itself is more like a landscape, a shifting web of patterns rather than a neatly plotted novel. What if we could resist the urge to explain everything and instead train ourselves to see the world through shapes, structures, and rhythms?

Through reflections on art, perception, emotions, and chaos magick, I explore how shifting our way of seeing could help us break free from rigid narratives and gain more creative control over our experience.

The chatter of our own minds can often drown out the wisdom that exists within us. The incessant voice of our ego fills our head with a constant stream of commentary, judgement, and analysis. Yet we forget that we don't have to identify with or get caught up in the drama of this voice. 

I've been threatening to go on hamburger adventure for many years, now I think the time is ripe. We've been cooped up for a year dealing with this whole pandemic thing and now that we're finally allowed back out, I'm ready to hit the road. In the episode, we lay down the foundation of our burger rating system.

It is your fear that makes you a slave. When you are fearless, you are no longer a slave.

Fear. It’s a word that carries a heavy burden, a word that has the power to control us, to limit us, to enslave us. We often think of slavery as something external, imposed upon us by others, but the truth is, some of the deepest forms of enslavement come from within. Fear can be like invisible chains, binding us to a life of limitation, hesitation, and regret.

But what if we could break free from these chains? What if, instead of letting fear dictate our choices, we could step into a life of freedom, where fear has no power over us?

First ride on an electric bike. #audiomo day 4

#AudioMo Day 14. I get reacquainted with the Triggering Town.

Episode Overview
 
It’s Monday afternoon as I record this, just before stepping out for a brisk walk to clear my head after a full day at the desk. In this episode, I reflect on the transition from holiday mode back to work, share some updates about my revamped website, and explore why blogging matters more than ever in the age of social media’s walled gardens. Along the way, I dive into my ongoing passion for the Indie Web movement and why I think we should reclaim blogging as a space for self-expression and serendipity.

It's #audiomo Day 19. Today's cast is inspired by the radio legend that is the late Joe Frank.

Music:

Sleepy + Hungry by Baegel
Unfettered by Jobii

Zombied out on fear
my friends gave me a medal for digging 
a hole with my bare hands and walking
on water like the messiah when she was lonely
and thirsty for politicians, generals and reporters

locking and loading the sign of the cross gave 
me goosebumps and butterflies like before a big 
football game, the world knew i was sick, served 
me up anyway like a rusty can of c-rations

my friends, adrenaline junkies, zombied out on fear,
shuffled about their business making life out of
anxiety and death, a pursuit they felt better than sex
until beetles ate their flesh and they drowned

cl lowe

We often find ourselves tangled in a web of questions, searching for meaning, seeking answers, and trying to understand the complexities of life. We read, we ponder, we analyse, hoping that if we could just understand it all, we might find peace. But what if the key to a fulfilling life isn’t in understanding it, but in living it?

I'm thrilled to bring back the Musical Journey Show! This is a nostalgic nod to my past, harking back to the days when I hosted on Radio Warwickshire. It's been years since I've been down this path, but there’s something about 2025 that feels like the perfect moment for its revival. "Because you've gotta have goals" after all, and returning to the rhythm of this show is definitely one of mine.

Today on the podcast, I wrestle with overwhelm and claw my way back to motivation through mindfulness. Teaming up with an unlikely ally, I am reminded that endings often pave the way for new beginnings. I also share the contents of my latest Venn diagram, which explores the intersections of my evolving practice.

field notes

The beginnings of something new. An exploration of a long lost part of a soul. More to follow...

#audiomo Day7: Relevance in the Age of Specialisation

As a generalist in a specialist's world, can I be truly heard? Is the age of the generalist a thing of the past in a world that seems to value ultra-specific niches? As generalists, can we even stay relevant, or are we all just doomed to be "jacks (and jills)-of-all-trades, masters of none" and ultimately ignored? 

In this episode, I unpack my thoughts about blogging for self-expression and self-discovery, digging into my journey to reclaim creativity in the chaotic noise of social media. I also share some raw insights about working with the Light Seers Tarot Deck, especially how the King of Wands, King of Swords, Queen of Swords, and Knight of Swords have stepped in as my guides. Tune in as I explore the balance between leadership, creativity, and building authentic online spaces.

What does it mean to be truly alive? Not just existing, not just going through the motions, but being vitally alive—alive with energy, curiosity, and a zest for life? The answer lies in our relationship with the unknown.

In this episode, I explore the King archetype as revealed through my mytho-expressive writing practice, highlighting my realization of needing to reclaim inner leadership. I discuss reframing internal adversaries as constructive opponents and the empowering role of mythic imagination. Join me as I reconnect with the fragments of my psyche to restore balance and purpose.

Journaling has always been an awesome tool for self-discovery and reflection. And now, with AI like ChatGPT, it's getting a major upgrade! Instead of just writing to yourself, you can have a real back-and-forth convo with an AI that asks you deep questions and helps you explore your thoughts and feelings in new ways. It's like having a super insightful buddy to chat with about all the stuff that matters to you. This fresh take on journaling doesn't just make it more fun - it also helps you understand yourself better than ever before. Every time you journal with AI, you're unlocking new insights and perspectives that you might not have discovered on your own. So if you want to level up your personal growth game, give this new kind of journaling a try - it could be the key to really figuring yourself out and living your best life!

This week: I talk about the essence of synchronicity and how it manifests in our lives, guided by my current read, "The Tao of Psychology, Synchronicity and the Self" by Jean Shinoda Bolen. I reflect on the idea that there are no coincidences, sharing personal anecdotes where seemingly random events held deeper meaning, including a serendipitous encounter with the book itself. 

I dive into the Jungian concept of synchronicity, highlighting its significance in connecting inner thoughts with outer events. Through vivid examples from my life, like sensing my grandfather’s death before being told or the series of events leading me to live in the UK, I illustrate how synchronicities guide our paths.

Inspired by these insights, I reconnect with my spiritual practices, emphasizing the use of mythic imagination and active imagination. I explore tarot cards as a tool for self-discovery, discussing a profound reading where the Devil card and the Temperance card appeared, symbolizing the need to confront inner shadows and find balance.

I also embark on a hypnotic journey to meet my inner guide, an experience that brings me in touch with Athena-Minerva, guiding me towards deeper self-understanding. This journey underscores the importance of spiritual guides and the imaginal realm in personal growth.

Lastly, I contemplate creating a dedicated community space for spiritual seekers to share and grow together, seeking a platform beyond social media that fosters meaningful interaction and dialogue. Tune in for a philosophical exploration of synchronicity, spiritual reconnection, and the quest for a nurturing community.

#AudioMo Day 2: List your favorite toys you played with as a child.