Smith and Sniff (Jonny Smith and Richard Porter)

How do you pronounce 'Ford' if you're from where Fords are from? Jonny and Richard explain as they attempt to make a podcast just to see if anyone is interested. They probably aren't, but they're going to carry on anyway. This is like the pre-production version, where the engine is making a funny noise and none of the trim fits properly.

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Jonny Smith and Richard Porter bring you a new podcast in which two friends talk rubbish for a bit. In this show, the real reason for the discovery of potatoes and tobacco, the importance of the letter R on Japanese cars, the wonders of a cheap digital watch, and the foolishness of swimming in espadrilles. Plus, a Tornado fuel tank on eBay and the Saxo VTS of woodpeckers.

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What if Bond actors got to keep the cars from their movies? Also, the demise of the Cars of the Stars museum, Jonny's mate Greasy Mark cutting an XR3i in half, and why The Grand Tour ditched a lethal feature called Half-a Romeo. Plus, Roger Moore can’t run on camera, the RAF are dicking about above us, Swedish Iron Man has a Volvo 244, and a few words about Sir Stirling Moss.

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Why can't you use cars for gardening? Also in this episode, Monty Don's Dutton collection, the Pet Shop Boys’ position on leaf blowers, getting a new MOT before you sell a car, the correct way to pronounce Kärcher, Martin Brundle calling Richard a "bandit", and Jonny's mate Greasy Mark almost drowning in a sporty canoe.

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Richard has car trouble and Jonny has found an old Scalextric set in the loft. Plus, Gillian Anderson ASMR, Donald Trump losing control outside a cars and coffee, giving washing machines proper model names like cars, why Hot Wheels aren't to the same scale, and Jonny's guide to clapping.

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Jonny reads an extract from Tiff Needell's autobiography through a vocoder and Richard gets annoyed by stupid claims in car ads. Plus, cars you always associate with a certain colour, the three week warranty on red Fiats, what the end of the rave era meant for yellow cars, Cher's poor Volkswagen maintenance, why Madonna hates power steering, the race-winning power of Brut after shave, 1980s cocaine car chases, the secrets of The Fall Guy truck, and using car names as Cockney insults.

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Jonny tells an extraordinary story about why he once had to hide up a tree for seven hours. Plus, Commodore 64 versus BBC Micro Model B, city boys papping themselves in TVRs, a Passat GL5 that cost £45, the most popular cars for ravers, a Scirocco accident in Macclesfield, 911 battery trouble update and some unexpected plain clothes police cars.

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Which is worse; bolting in a fast Ford or misusing traffic cones? Also in this episode, getting stopped in someone else's Peugeot 306 cabrio and an inconvenient eBay reminder for Juha Kankkunen. Plus, we answer some listeners' questions, leading to talk about the coolness of the Ford Capri, the world's smelliest Nissan Laurel, and memories of a phone call with LJK Setright.

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Jonny and Richard have a solution to Aston's problems. Also in this show, are we sad about Dyson cancelling their electric car or more upset about their dryers generating fine clouds of diluted urine? Plus, getting stuck on a yacht with your nemesis, being badly prepared for offshore power boating, and waking in the middle of the night to remember that they no longer make the Fiat Punto.

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What happened when Jonny bought a cheap Commer camper van for a romantic break in Cornwall (Clue; it involved a naked hammock disaster). Plus, the terrible state of the new BMW 4 Series, the dangers of messing with the bin lorry, and why every coach driver dresses like the drummer from an amateur ska band.

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If Seinfeld ordered a Singer 911 would he have the interior made to match his nineties clothes? Also in this episode, Richard can't move for discarded Vauxhall Vivaros and Jonny introduces the taxi driver's three click. Plus, tortoise sex, rubber wings, ghostriding Amazon deliveries, and why Asimo the Honda robot should come back to host Robot Wars (with a Glaswegian accent and wearing a very long coat).

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Jonny has been hanging out with a DeLorean. Also in this episode, cars you’d completely forgotten about, the indignity of flicking on the wipers while trying to not to crash, nineties ballad singer Kia Shuma, people at school reunions that you don’t remember, how to talk like Magic FM, and showing your kids eighties movies. Plus, struggling to remember what happens in Back To The Futures 2 and 3 and realising that Doc Brown is a thief. 

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Jonny explains how he once jumped a Ford Sierra Sapphire in honour of the Dukes of Hazzard. Plus, having a wee with Jason Plato and almost getting banned from Millbrook proving ground. The two things are related. Also in this show, memories of Bruntingthorpe, doing a 360 degree skid in a lorry, scary noises at a 1980s USAF base, fat Stig testing a dumper truck, the 50th anniversary of the Range Rover, and the only acceptable designs of three spoke alloy wheels.

This episode is sponsored by Adrian Flux insurance. https://www.adrianflux.co.uk/standard/?utm_source=Smithandsniff&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Podcast

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Jonny's been urban exploring and Richard has some strong views about the Ineos Grenadier. Plus, love for the FJ Cruiser, sneaking into Longbridge, people who don't match their cars, fake military titles, Damon Albarn's whistly voice and Jonny's impression of a Discovery Series II at speed.

This episode is sponsored by Adrian Flux insurance. https://www.adrianflux.co.uk/standard/?utm_source=Smithandsniff&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Podcast

Watch Jonny's scrapyard urbex video here: https://youtu.be/O5H4IW3SS9I

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Vin Diesel struggles to get into Paris. Plus, what sort of Rovers are urban music stars driving?

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Jonny and Richard discuss the new Ford Bronco, car spotting in Norfolk and the spec of a Mustang special edition aimed at its core market; people who have embarrassing accidents leaving cars and coffee meets. Plus, the cars (and large acreage of linen) in the Netflix series The Last Dance.

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Jonny and Richard answer listeners' questions and Jonny tries to give a new meaning to the expression 'sliding in your DMs'.

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Why Subaru v Mitsubishi was the Blur v Oasis of cars. Plus, mistakenly thinking someone smells of poo, George Clooney asking for very specific medical things, a new event called the Harry Dakar, and Jonny's had another go in the Honda E.

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Richard spends a day in the new Defender and then rings Jonny to tell him about it. Warning; contains a gratuitous mention of Bryan Adams.

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Richard has been given bad directions by James May and Jonny's kitchen is full of wasps. Also in this episode, Impreza 22B confusion, a strangely good value Sierra Cosworth, the American craving for diesel cars, and driving a modern tractor. Plus, do dogs know they're on holiday and are birds built like Renaults from the eighties? Oh, and sorry about last week's episode.

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Jonny wants to have a look in Gordon Murray's wardrobe. Also in this episode, skidpan mishaps, muted trumpets, high depreciation Hyundais, the GMA T.50, the Polestar 2, the Volkswagen ID.3, and Harry Metcalfe's old Eurostar of cars.

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Jonny and Richard remember a couple of insanely cheap cars they've owned. Also in this episode; horrible trolley jack noises, heavy clutch injuries, Volkswagen passengers with 'mark 3 knee', and a trouserless man walking down the A43. Plus, Richard's new neighbours have a cockroach car and Jonny lives near a continuously smoking man with a bizarrely duplicated car collection.

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Richard says sorry to his car (and Jonny). Plus, a really nice Talbot Matra Rancho for sale - actually, TWO Ranchos for sale - and an embarrassing development with Richard's new neighbour and her tidy old Corolla. Also in this episode; Fred Dibnah, traction engines, Get Carter, bad driving and a shirtless crusty in a mkII Cortina.

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Jonny has seen some new things on the road where he spotted a trouserless man in smart shoes. Also in this episode, Charley Boorman, Manchester insults, defence of disco music, updated Ranchofacts, and another mention of Macclesfield.

Picture of Jonny in the GLC car, as mentioned in this show: https://shutr.bz/3bRRtts

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Jonny remembers meeting electric car maestro Mate Rimac, the possible future owner of Bugatti. Also in this episode, the perils of lunchtime drinking, the old man hats of Pebble Beach, and how Jonny and Richard got into this. Plus, some actual car talk including Jonny's experiences of a plug-in Transit and slant-backed Audi e-tron, the 'emocionnnn' of the Nissan Z Proto, and why the MC20 is a Meh-serati.

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Jonny has got a motorsport idea. Jonny hasn't been getting much sleep lately. Also in this episode, the trousers of Salon Privé, Scottish people going through airport security, car shows with completely identical cars, spotting possible boat owners, an unexpected VW Phaeton driver, and the absolute state of old Merc MLs.

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Jonny tells a strange story from the making of 5th Gear. Also in this episode, the sad fate of high-spec estate cars, shabby wraps for Ferrari FFs, what Del Boy would drive today, the wonders of the Citroen C15, Dua Lipa secretly selling used cars through her songs, the motorhome for the lonely, and why is Bear Grylls always soaking wet?

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Jonny has discovered a very strange Mazda. Also in this episode, Italian singer Almeratino, horrible Victorian toys, Tracy Chapman's actual fast car, gear selection mishaps, Terry Nutkins buying an Impreza, and some of your questions answered. Plus, Jonny and Richard have news about their role in this weekend's Goodwood Speed Week coverage.

Goodwood Speed Week runs from 16-18 October. To watch the live stream of the event go to goodwood.com

#gwspeedweek

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Jonny and Richard have been doing things at Goodwood SpeedWeek. Includes shambolic TV presenting, real life Jason Plato shirt hole action, Karun Chandhok's speed breakfast, car museum gang wars, influencers in Edwardian cars, coming up with your Bentley Boy name, and the despair of a TV producer looking after two men who are always getting a coffee or having a wee.

This episode is brought to you by Alldays and Onions.

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Jonny spots a rally legend having breakfast and manages to get into an embarrassing chat. Also in this show, Karun Chandhok power breakfast update, Tiff Needell's jacket epiphany, more news from Alldays and Onions, a Fathers 4 Justice S-type, Whitney Houston's HIAB adventures, a surprisingly nice-sounding V8, and we read out some of your messages.

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Jonny remembers a nerve wracking TV try-out involving a Mercedes C63 and an unneeded can of Red Bull. Also in this episode, the 'I have never' game with cars, your ideal pair of BMWs, a car that sounds like a stupid Jim Henson puppet, a car that sounds like you're being followed by one of The Monkees, and Jonny's troubling story about a hole in the wall at Keele services.

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Jonny has been driving the Toyota GR Yaris but can only talk about it in code. Also in this episode, fat Stig driving a dumper truck, Richard's I-Pace struggling for breath, the secret of Jeremy Clarkson's success, car filming lingo, unexpected parachutists, a dumped Subaru, unusual minicabs, the melancholy of Practical Classics magazine, and how do you pronounce PHEV?

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Richard and Jonny have a few things to say about the new BMW electric car. Also in this episode, unexpected baldness, radio DJs not looking how they sound, Jonny's vague memory of crimes, why Greased Lightning is rubbish and so is Eleanor, John Travolta's photocopied face, Robert Plant's car detailing tips, and getting rock stars to spec up your car.

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Richard has given himself a terrible home haircut and Jonny's brother has bought tyres from a scrapyard. Also in this show, singers with high revving voices, Mariah Carey VTEC kicked in, yo, getting annoyed by some car-based inaccuracies in The Crown, the filming secrets of The Queen's Gambit, middle-aged dad hats, and the acceptability of Porsche branded items. (On that note, the Porsche 911 Turbo tribute trainers are in association with Puma, not Nike as Richard said. Sorry.)

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Richard has a new book out and Jonny would like you to buy his merch. Plus, the location of that not-quite-realistic road you always see in TV dramas, running engines without any oil, giving your car a fuel present, falling asleep in a fake South Korean village, the perils of snow driving, and more about singers as car engines.

Richard's new book: https://amzn.to/2KRAQ7V

Jonny's CarPervert merchandise: https://thelatebrakeshow.com/merch

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Richard lent Jonny a jacket, and Jonny used it to interview Romain Grosjean. Also in this episode, the joy of proper car brochures, the awfulness of British plates on American cars, the meaning of 'sherpa' mode on the Fiat 500e, and the madness of the original Toyota Previa. Plus, a very dodgy live stunt show and why this podcast needs a travelling studio built into a shabby old van.

Find Jonny's YouTube channel by searching The Late Brake Show.

Find Richard's new book by searching Boring Car Trivia on Amazon.

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Richard has spotted a strange design influence on a certain Vauxhall. Also in this episode, Jonny has been extracting a mystery car from a garage opposite Gino D'Acampo's house and Richard thinks Tom Selleck is a handy driver. Plus, eighties TV title sequence wormholes, Spender's Sierra Sapphire Cosworth, scuffing Mr GT-R's GT-R, unsolicited facts about the British TV industry in Elstree, Jonny losing his Soul, and what is Jon Bon Jovi on about with his steel horse nonsense? Also contains surprising news about the origins of Jason Plato.

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Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall? Recorded just before Christmas was cancelled, Jonny and Richard have a seasonal chat about a Network Q VHS smut collection, models of car that won't die, Horacio Pagani's ongoing Zonda hell, and the personal transport of Roy Wood from Wizzard. Plus, unsolicited facts about Land Rover Defenders, Next in-store music policies, and Slade.

A big and sincere thank you to everyone who has supported the Smith and Sniff podcasts in 2020. The show will return on 11 January 2021.

Merry Xmas Everybody, but every line is "Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?" - https://youtu.be/-k4yjCo8JWs

Don't You Want Me? but every line is "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar" - https://youtu.be/_74N7KJmEj4

Merry Christmas everyone.

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Jonny and Richard return for 2021 with chat about the Rolls-Royce Ghost, the Singer ACS, the new Kia logo, and a review of a book about secret Fords. Plus, the rubbishness of Lego Technic cars, the simple pleasures of a jigsaw, and an extraordinary story from a listener about the Ford Motor Company's comprehensive stash of jazz mags.

If you're feeling generous, the new Smith and Sniff Patreon can be found here: https://www.patreon.com/smithandsniff

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Richard remembers the time TV's James May had a travel tea disaster in his Land Rover. Also in this episode, Jonny's barnfind laptop, memories of Feu Orange air fresheners, horrors of rot-era Mercs, a weirdly low mileage Ka, comedy tax dodge cars and the story of the sour-faced old woman and the abandoned Honda Jazz. Also in this show, Richard has some idiotic ideas for his new family car and Jonny reads a list of finches.

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Richard remembers a neighbour with a weird car hole policy and Jonny endorses the dad ritual of pushing cars onto the drive. Also in this episode, the mid-engined Corvette coming to the UK, the USA formation Mustang crashing team, accidentally pitching an idea called Stunt Driver Ben Cock, bad fuel filler designs, and welcoming Euro dance act turned massive car-making conglomerate, Stellantis. Plus, Jonny's new long term test car, Peugeot's Lancastrian cowboy, Michael Bolton's hat, David Attenborough's biscuity voice, and Will Smith's wicking business suit.

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Jonny and Richard compare notes on Toyota's new homologation special. Also in this episode, Tesla Model S and X updates, the minimalism of the Citroen AX, marking the passing of Rémy Julienne and John Ackroyd, and a smattering of listeners' messages. Plus, lemon curd, stunt weeing, Granada Designs, too many Corsas, and was Turkish John from school telling the truth about his dad's G-wagens?

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Jonny tries to get Richard to go splits on a weird old car with glass doors. Also in this episode, Nights In White Satin, Jeff Bezos dropping off his resignation like an Amazon driver, the rank incompetence of Thomas the Tank Engine and Postman Pat, Covid vaccines that sound like crap cars, and why don't women email this show? Plus, the glacial depreciation of Toyota Land Cruisers, the fear of swimming near massive ships, the never-seen AMG GT four door, and the secret petrolhead life of Captain Sir Tom Moore.

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Jonny and Richard have a new spin-off idea for Harry Metcalfe. Two, if you count Harry’s UK Garage. Also in this episode, earning money from storing pre-reg cars, getting called a ‘silly’ by a landlord, spotting a drunk ghost working in a West Country nightclub, and that time Richard saw a blimp, a stealth bomber and Chaka Khan on the same day. Plus, top 1930s diplomat Tokyo Cedric, the Toyota Hilux Surf, Greasy Mark’s mk2 Escort van, pouring one out for the GT86, and Technics v Kenwood in the battle of the ‘90s raver bomber jackets. Warning; this podcast contains Jonny’s strident views on Star Wars. 

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Richard has put a deposit on a new family car, sight unseen. Also in this episode, Bruce Springsteen's cold hands, KFC translation mishaps, American car advert small print, trying to drive a ridiculously big truck, Ford's fake overhangs, ZF and Zeppelins, a bum-faced airship incident, enjoying spoken German, dressing like you listen to The Levellers, an unwanted waltzer sofa, and what's the deal with wicker furniture? Plus, Jonny needs some help with static caravans and an amazing Technics jacket.

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F1 drivers terrorising track days in totally unsuitable cars. Also in this episode, the stress of waiting for an MOT result, the relentless underachievement of the Smith and Sniff YouTube channel, commissioning bespoke supercars with ordinary shells, the dark world of Ulysses 31, having to explain the modern world to someone from the 11th century, and Jonny's strong views about valet parking. Plus, some actual car content for a change including discussions about the Hyundai Ioniq 5, the Land Rover Defender V8, the McLaren Artura, and Gordon Murray's T.50s Niki Lauda.

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That chap you always see at real ale events. He probably has a mark 1 Discovery. Also in this episode, more on F1 drivers trolling track days, the badly advertised bounty of Gumtree, failing to address Peugeot's new logo, accidentally treading dog muck into your car, and Richard's dislike of the Mitsubishi Evo X. Plus, why the base-model Porsche Taycan is a brilliant four-door gecko, which car The Scorpions Wind of Change make you think of, Morgans that won't start unless you're wearing a tweed cap, and the tricky laundry regimes of 1980s soft rock bands. Oh, and Jonny has a buying tip about first generation BMW Minis.

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Jonny has been mowing the grass and driving some new cars. Also in this episode, the exploding Megabus of rockets, splashing on the Brut, the great smells of summer, things you see from trains, the story of a lost GoPro camera, the perils of light coloured steering wheels, and how are animals still alive? Plus, thoughts on the VW Golf GTE, the Skoda Enyaq, and the current Porsche 911 with a manual gearbox, and Richard has collected his supercharged Range Rover.

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Jonny and Richard start this episode by paying tribute to Sabine Schmitz and Murray Walker.

Later, talk turns to a Mercedes with knackered dampers in an advert, getting injured by a SEAT Marbella, the stern warnings from parents on foreign holidays, a camper top catastrophe on the Severn Bridge, driving on the wrong side of the road disasters, the new Kia EV6 being a mullet car, Steve Backshall keeping snakes away from Bon Jovi, why the Nissan 370Z is like a Pizza Express vase of ice cream, a Citroen Saxo special edition game, and would you own an Aston Martin?

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Jonny has been offered some rotten weirdness. Also in this episode, sending Sir Jackie Stewart a Ford Scorpio full of tat for his birthday, mice treating dead insects like crisps, why The A-Team was better than Knight Rider, the return of a missing tortoise, and would you rather have a car full of wasps or locusts? Plus, the Citroen e-C4, some Renault Avantime facts, how Supergrass came to perform Richard III on Top Gear, Jonny's deranged house demolition plan, and why Richard's new Range Rover is already in the garage.

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Jonny has been driving the Peugeot 508 Sport Engineering while Richard has been having gin-fuelled thoughts about the GR Yaris. Also in this episode, conversational ticks, reading car manuals, the anti-corrosion warranty demands of early ‘00s Mercs, Porsche 964 purism, and what’s the point of the Cupra Formentor? Plus, Martin Brundle’s superleggera necklace, a confusion at the Singer factory, tricking a horrible grandma with a seatbelt, and thoughts on the Voltswagen debacle. 

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Jonny has an idea for spreading a little kindness and Richard now lives in a noisy Kia neighbourhood. Also in this episode, vehicular Vocoders, unexpectedly good heel and toeing cars, racing driver yoga, Helmsman's mayonnaise, the Die Cast Donor, and once-a-year irritant Flant Flanstead. Plus, falling down a wormhole with the Knight Rider Historians, putting the General Lee in context, how a train crash made for better eighties action show stunts, and a strange spin-off show for Mr T.

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Jonny and Richard answer questions from Patrons covering topics such as their chosen BL car for life, dodgy car buying transactions, things that don't fit on lorries, the Sultan of Brunei's car key storage nightmares, stuff found in second hand cars, how they first met, and an awkward golf buggy incident. 

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In a special bonus episode Jonny and Richard answer some more listeners' questions. Topics include disappointing cars, 500 quid snotters, how to improve F1, explaining SPOWATAAAAH man, upsetting car company PRs, Christian's Koenigs-eggs, Jonny's resistance to multi-car insurance, what we think of influencers, and our favourite car journalists. Plus, Jonny seems to think Bono is a type of sport.

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Jonny is distracted by a bargain-priced Audi A2 auction about to end. Also in this episode, talking to previous owners of your car, Bluetooth phone dramas, classified ads that give too much information, saying Cossie correctly, what Americans make of the Austin Metro, the delights of a cockroach Corolla, why Jonny's brother is the king of the snotters, bad news for the Sultan of Brunei's clock guy, and a game of dead person's unwanted old car roulette. 

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Jonny wants Richard to spend a weekend at a drag strip sleeping in a van. Richard does not want to do this. Also in this episode, Quentin Willson's palm parking masterclass, power steering reservoir like an Alka-Seltzer, listeners' cockcroach cars and deceased spec purchases, trying to pressure wash your car during a Zoom call, and the insane prices of XJ-shape Jeep Cherokees. Plus, driving a second-hand hearse, accidentally buying a fully-stocked mobile library, remembering Britain's sleaziest alloy wheel, and feeling self-conscious about your trousers.

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An amazing story from a listener has Jonny and Richard wondering what a sophisticated singer might have in her garage. Also in this episode, Monty Don's car theft gardening, a song that name checks The Smoking Man from The X-Files, the secrets of selling TV shows, an unexpectedly smutty classic car advert, awful scraping noises on the North Circular, and the things you find in a second hand car CD changer. Plus, unnoticed head scum, fake rabbit monorail, militant Ken Bruce, driving position madness, and what is algae?

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How to bring Christmas cheer armed only with six sets of plastic wheel covers. Also in this episode, spotting a Triumph Stag in a hurry, what happens when your throttle gets stuck open, why Jonny is the king of engine death coasting, the classic car equivalent of flying ant day, and the sinisterness of four adults in a car. Plus, spindly helicopters, parachuting light aircraft, DSG exhaust parps, another Des plate sighting, Bert from Bert & Ernie being a berk, and what's up with the movie Drive. Finally, last week's podcast wondered what Sade might drive. This week we have answers. Oh boy, we have answers.

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Jonny has been driving an amazing 1980s Ford with just one thing missing. Also in this episode, American podcast plum shaving promos, vasectomy memories, changing your wiper blades, a love of beading, smoking in cars with the windows up, the Lancia that looks like Norman Lamont, how to say spowaahtaaaaaaaah in Italian, the hilarity of MIDI music, absolute nonsense from hifi nerds, and a stereo shop man with some very unfortunate lavatory habits. Plus, Cold War fears, car market hotness, Fiat 500 trim levels, Ford Explorer smells, businesses with UK on the end, and why doing percussion in an orchestra is like being a fireman.

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How Jonny lost his passport and ended up living in Frankfurt Airport. Also in this episode, the daftness of sheep, the even greater daftness of DJ Khaled, the problem with Aviator sunglasses, and what's going on with Freddie Flintoff's spectacles? Plus, Robert Plant car buying news, a censored story about a mystery rock star's terrible driving, and Richard's new musical game of 'replace heart with Saab'.

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Jonny has been listening to country music while Richard encountered some annoying aeroplanes. Also in this episode, drinking whisky like someone in a movie, why Chinooks are like kits with two bass drums, a confusion about George Benson's bed shop, why you never see people mooning or sitting backwards on kitchen chairs any more, and a discussion about the Ford F-150 Lightning with its amazing Pac-Man front boot. Plus, unimaginative restomods, an old person in an Integra Type R, the dream of an EV Matra Rancho, and the despair of 1980s Euro car designers when asked to do the US-spec detailing. Oh, and an inordinate amount of chat about David Coverdale including his comical Whitesnake videos, his incredible air-brake shirts, his taste in cars, and why his shoes are like a fourth generation Pontiac Firebird.

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Jonny has discovered the real issues discussed at the G7 summit and Richard has a double decker motorway plan. Also in this episode, the trouble with getting to Cornwall, trying to find a fleet of Cadillac BLSs for Biden's visit, other things called G7 and a surprising celebrity Dodge Challenger driver. Plus, dodgem driving tips, stoned window cleaners, blasting Scooter from a people carrier and no love for Neil Young.

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A listener has sent us an incredible tale of a kids' entertainer getting into a comical tiny van accident. Also in this episode, a creepy flyer for a magician, why the Chicago Bulls of the nineties would have been great at magic, a hot hatch grandma, which cars Simon Cowell resembles, an update on David Coverdale's cars, the nightmare of light-coloured trousers, nostalgia for Robinson's Barley Water, speed limits for pick-ups, the pain of owning a late SAAB 9-5, accidental use of display lavatories, the scarcity of plastic bodied cars, vans for an Australian terrarium seller, how to pronounce Hiace and Proace, the dodgems of Coney Island, a correction on Vocoders, models that all have the same visible fault, a car that smells like a warehouse of safety shoes and another new song lyrics game.

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Jonny tells the full story of his Lada Niva water disaster. Also in this episode, the horror of gel plates, a bargain-priced GMC Motorhome, annoying noises, world leader car intel, and the new Peugeot logo just isn't working. Plus, what happens when 1970s crime fighters try to reverse small trailers, why modern police can't use tiny downstairs lavatories, doing press ups with '80s technology, surprisingly low depreciation Casio watches, speccing up a 911 GT3 Touring, why CAP should reward people who are brave with car colours, and news from the world of window cleaning.

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Richard has been to see the new Fast & Furious film and Jonny has received a package from a multiple Formula 1 champion. Also in this episode, a Corsa with ghosts in it, various kinds of sneezing, the wonders of ABBA, Strava for auto jumbles, American pronunciations, Vin Diesel in a Gordon Keeble, a self-driving Mustang and Dame Helen Mirren's palm purchase.

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This week Jonny and Richard sit in a field drinking wine and talking about things they've seen at the Goodwood Festival of Speed. So naturally the conversation covers Brut aftershave, buying wine at 9am, Sweden's top TV chef, sporting event streakers, aerobatic display team The Reawarrs, Gordon Murray's hydration strategy, Michael Bolton on a bicycle, talking like a pilot day, the perils of magnet fishing, a French Garfield phone mystery, pretending to be a dangerously unqualified handyman, Bridget Jones's welding, watching the International Space Station go overhead, what all Prince songs are about, Jim Glickenhaus's surprising trousers, and the Duke of Richmond weeing in a sink. Despite this there's also some car talk covering an overheating Jag, the Ferrari Roma's base model grille, a shirtcocking Jeep, the beauty of an early Countach, plus the Maserati MC20, the McLaren Artura, the Lotus Emira, the Kimera EVO37, the Aston Valkyrie, the Corvette C8, the Glickenhaus SCG004 and some Hispano-Suizas.

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This week Jonny and Richard manage to talk about cars for once, including the Ineos Grenadier, the Gemballa Marsien and the new Vauxhall Astra. There's also chat about which paint colours don't cost extra, cars you'd only want to buy new, the world's most laid back traction control, unintelligent damper control, songwriters not being specific enough about the cars they reference, and the new game of trying to list a manufacturer's entire range without cheating. Plus, an amazing fact about laundry detergent.

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How did the beloved singing duo get to Scarborough Fair? Also in this episode, venus fly traps, unstable loo seats, surprisingly posh Transit door locks, football trains, suity shoes, plane funk smells, zombie morris dancing, potatoes in cupholders, affluent foreign spec cars, modern steel wheels and Griff Rhys Jones in his underpants. Plus, top new TV shows George Clarke's Embarrassing Stains, Stealing Cars with James May, and Derek Bell's Amazing Shortcuts plus Nigel Havers is James Bond, licenced to smack cricket balls at people.

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Jonny and Richard have accidentally spoilt someone's enjoyment of their new car. Also in this episode, not liking Tommy Lee Jones, households that own two of the same car, Jonny's spooky doppleganger, getting to know cars by washing them, having an international face, and what does Nicolas Cage drive? Plus, a leggy R.S. Megane that Jonny definitely isn't buying, lending cars to film and TV productions, weird things in classified car ad photos, getting trapped in a Japanese motor show stage performance, and what are Daihatsu up to these days?

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Jonny and Richard look back on the previous day's inaugural Late Brake Show live event while sitting in a Dover hotel room which is decorated like a dead uncle's flat.

Also in this episode, Jonny remembers a recent encounter with a lady who got trapped under a Honda Jazz and Richard reveals what inspired the Grand Tour theme tune. 

Plus, Noel Edmonds' horror crash jocularity, generic sports socks, model villages, awful clutch smearing and Having To Stop Driving spec cars. 

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Jonny draws our attention to a very expensive second-hand tractor and Richard shares the true story behind the infamous Top Gear indestructible Hilux film. Also in this episode, bin food, electricity pylons, cooling towers, scary public information films, utility company special vehicles, strange posters on your childhood bedroom walls, non-swearwords used by grandparents, poker players' bad sunglasses, obscure brand petrol stations, Shaggy as a KGB agent, and why Bristol needs a nineties quarter. Plus we ask the vital question, are some animals thick?

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Jonny's been in a ruck with a van driver and Richard has some TV show ideas. Also in this episode, Karmann chameleon, the Hindenburg of motorhomes, the best time to buy a sledge, why moss is an integral part of Land Rovers, the most SAAB man in the world, and how Jeremy Clarkson likes journey length to be expressed. Plus, listener updates on public information films, new age traveller vehicles, cooling towers, expensive tractors, and how thick dogs are. Finally, we ask why don't trains abroad look quite right, what's the deal with LPG and should you clean your car keys?

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Jonny knows someone with a very low range motorcycle and Richard has been wondering what happens to old minicabs. Also in this episode, celebrities in the 1970s showing off their cars, the importance of Noel Edmonds and his beard, people with poor gearchange strategy, what car to drive to a British citizenship ceremony, memories of scary drum and bass, and a campervan catastrophe that forces Jonny to leave his wife behind. Plus, the new Nissan Z, the Toyota GR 86, the BMW iX3, some love for the Jaguar F-Type, the unexpected phrase 'classic Zafira', and a man getting an Astra jammed down a footpath.

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Jonny tells a story about being a good samaritan that takes an unexpected live action turn. Also in this episode, using the word village for other things, the size of old car keys, making up lies about places, the arrival of a baby tortoise, cats suffering front wheel lock-up, diagonal walking into a Korean restaurant disaster, a mysterious blue Lotus Carlton, enjoying turbo lag, and conversational ticks (and all that, basically, on that side of things).

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Jonny and Richard reflect on Saturday's second Late Brake Show Live event. Also in this episode, The Fordsy 100 Index, going for an old school curry, running country cams, getting a double Sade gift from a Terminator, car shows swapping presenters like prisoners, the best type of Elvis, having a drum & bass breakdown, and Richard banging on about Up GTIs again. Plus, understeering Spykers, funny car badges, a surprisingly Morris Minor, coach driver workouts, trying to clean cars in bad light, The Fine Young Cannibals pointing at Jonny, another tale of jump starting kindness, and whatever happened to Lee Noble?

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Jonny has spotted a barn find rally legend on eBay but Richard would rather go to Portugal. Also in this episode, listeners' tales of bump starting and exploding shopping, a comical We Buy Any Car offer on Richard's Defender, the world's most unlikely getaway car, the Lotus Elise win your own supercharger belt challenge, and what the hell is going on with privacy glass? Plus, LS swaps, bob tailing, Basic Instinct 2, and money saving expert Martin Lewis has a nemesis.

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Richard can't get comfy in an electric Fiat and Jonny mounts a spirited defence of a Renault tech-lift. Also in this episode, trying to name all the Wacky Racers, not talking to anyone at the Goodwood Revival, inventing the laser pointer pipe, encountering an unprofessional racing pigeon, getting scared by the start of Octopussy, and enjoying the fantasy of living in late sixties California and working at Hanna-Barbera. Plus, London bicycle gangs, flat tyre idiots, rat look Monaros, the Perodua Kelisa, and Jonny's barn-find Espada ownership update.

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Jonny and Richard went to the premiere of the new Bond film. The morning after the night before they recount what happened. Features car albums, plot details for 1960s films, having a wee in Bond filming locations, why Aston doesn't sell stunt cars, the secret reason why there are two Range Rover Sports in the new film, ear syringing videos, 007's lack of mechanical sympathy, traction control issues in smart shoes, ballads about petrol shortages, and asking the DVLA for a provisional licence to kill. Plus, Rita Ora eating out of a gutter, Nile Rodgers getting gushed at, and sitting behind Jay Kay as he cheers in a jazzy way and then takes a worryingly long trip to the loo.

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Jonny's been driving two Audis, Richard has discovered something about the Renault Scenic, and there's an unexpected diversion into the world of aquatic mammals. Also in this episode, not letting Jonny get his maracas, Peugeots that sound like Scottish swear words, Nick Knowles' house party, places where they say ock-shun, and do narwhals actually exist? Plus listeners' tales of exploding smoothies and teenage car auction madness, and there's some extraordinary Sade news. 

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Jonny's got the lurgy and Richard has been told off by a dentist. Also in this episode, struggling to recall Kim Basinger's music career, buying out of date sweets from Jeff Bezos's lock-up, going nuts with one of those suitcase cellophane machines, the pros and cons of space exploration, and whatever happened to Tasmin Archer? Plus, wanting a Hillman Imp over a Mini, going on a long trip in a Porsche Taycan, baristas racing high speed car chargers, EVs sounding like the choir of the dead, and everyone knew someone at college who had a didgeridoo. This episode also features two remarkable stories from listeners, one about a scary Kiwi car selling experience and one about trying to wee into a bottle at the wheel of a fast-moving Lotus.

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Still sounding pretty sickly for various reasons, Jonny and Richard nonetheless manage to talk some nonsense about stopping modern-day John Travolta looking so weird, Ken Block defecting to Audi, films famous for just one scene, WRC cars not looking realistic, and the time Jonny ran with the bulls in Pamplona. Also in this episode, speccing up a Mondeo Vignale, the size of lungs, matadors' terrible clothes, why the Ferrari Roma has a cheap GoPro knock-off in its front bumper, suggested spin-offs from Harry's Farm, messing with Ken Bruce, and what did Alan Rickman drive in real life?

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Jonny is getting his big hedges cut and Richard had his mouth open for an hour. Neither of these things are euphemisms.

Also in this episode, Adele and her old BMW 5 Series', Noel Gallagher's High Lift Cams, Liam Gallagher's BDI engine, and making Harry Potter titles more appealing to car people. Plus, the new Mercedes SL, absolutely massive ship engines, and a deep dive into the new Range Rover.

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The morning after The Late Brake Show Live in Manchester Jonny and Richard are in a hotel room talking about Madchester shoes, big windowed sixties houses, almost losing control of a Ford F-150 Lightning, the horrors of doing exercise without any clothes on, and all the usual nonsense (but with added claggy throat and tiredness). 

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Jonny is tired and Richard has a hangover so naturally talk turns to the most up-to-no-good Audi, songs with places listed in them, old episodes of The Muppet Show, trying to drive a car with no driver's seat, a Vauxhall in-house grot mag system, that time Jonny papped himself in an autonomous car, the Sultan of Brunei's paddling pool full of keys, and the financial peril brought upon Giorgio Moroder by getting involved with the Cizeta V16T. Plus, sleeping in an office, learning about dry risers, and the problem with Jeremy Clarkson's new farm car. 

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Jonny and Richard discover that Noel Gallagher is selling an old Jag. Also in this episode, creative driving, EV coast timing, traffic light concealing, the weirdness of General Electric, a big man in a small car, the smell of coaches and a return to Ken Bruce's Shotmaster. Plus, Brian Cox narrating no prep drag racing, Gary Barlow giving useless rally pace notes, U2 having a stadium gig ruined by an idling Montego Countryman, and excellent news for Bitter owners. 

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Jonny explains why the new series of Fifth Gear is going ahead without him. Also in this episode, the London-to-Brian run, the weirdness of veteran cars, pre-1905 restomodding, being snooty about Surrey, what constitutes "working well" when it comes to old Range Rovers, that Hyundai Grandeur concept car, going to a fancy dress party as one of Pet Shop Boys, and DSG peacocking in coastal towns. Plus, Richard almost crashes due to a wheel palming disaster and Jonny tells the story of his extremely rude office chair.

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Jonny is worried he has the physique of a 1970s Porsche and Richard has spotted a flute shop. Also in this episode, free Audi gloves, extremely lavish press trips, Rod Stewart's terrible new material, very smooth American cars of the '90s, large Dane Bowers bodywarmers, Steve Lamacq's peanut diet, East 17-spec jackets, the size of road signs, buying the old B ISTO ARS lettering, and what the merry heck is going on with the BMW XM?

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Richard tells the story of James May taking a trip to the pub in a rubbish inflatable boat. 

Also in this episode, Jonny and Richard read out some listeners' messages featuring the life of a Bitter owner, news from Bulgaria, a loose goat in Yorkshire and an incredible story of a visit to the Lada factory. 

Plus, Jonny's hatred of in-car traffic announcements, Travis Perkins vs the Territorial Army, and Bryan Ferry in a wet-look dinner suit. 

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Jonny and Richard wonder what Shakin' Stevens drives and conclude that it must be some sort of bad Cadillac. Also in this festive-ish episode, the Suggs scale of jerky singers, the money musicians make from Christmas songs, a new and extremely stupid seasonal lyric changing game, the annoyance of tiny ice cubes, how to get rid of things you don't need, and Jonny's eventful trip to Somerset in his Dodge Charger. Plus, Richard has found a flaw with the otherwise fabulous Bentley Mulsanne, Volkswagen seems to be giving its cars nocturnal monobrows, and our first father and son listeners' stories section brings us tales of Germanic voice recognition and a restomodded lawnmower.

Massive thanks to everyone who has supported Smith and Sniff this year. We really do appreciate your high tolerance for our meandering output. There'll be more of the same, and hopefully some new developments, in 2022.

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Jonny and Richard are taking a break so here are some Smith and Sniff greatest hits from those old videos where they had lunch in a parked car. Topics covered in this flashback episode include the point of Magnus Walker, Jackie Stewart's West End Show and restomod, Jonny having a weird weekend with a Vectra VXR, Richard arguing with a car wash man about the size of the Rover 75, a second rate Knight Rider convention, ironic replicas, why dentist surgeries have fish tanks and not a duck waddling about the place, Jonny's mashed-up housemate and his love of the Prelude 2.2, leaving a car on Bono's driveway, Annie Lennox's weird pronunciation, and a man who drank an entire bottle of Captain Morgan spiced rum and got into a multi-part trouser catastrophe.

Special thanks to Ian Deeley for audio assistance on this episode.

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Jonny and Richard have some ideas about the cars Her Majesty rocks at the weekend. Also in this episode, a Fiat with permanently sliding doors, keeping cacti in a Citroen Berlingo, driving a Renault Kangoo with the door open, remembering George Michael, undergoing stage 3 dental work, and Jonny's hatred of people shouting 'OI OI!' Plus, cars for getting away from a court appearance, Bananarama's Band Aid Golf, cars that are too flash for the house they're parked outside, why hot hatches should always be three door, Jonny's latest engine-off emergency, and what's the ideal car for someone on a witness protection programme? 

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Jonny and Richard discover a hidden pocket of hardcore D1 action that uses Land Rover Discovery 4s. Also in this episode, Jonny's extremely tiny office lavatory, a trip to Britain's most '90s city, a trio of book reviews, father and son story corner, getting annoyed by people who say 'with regards to', a Porsche 911 with an industrial turbo, a krill-sifting Frontera driver, the death of DriveTribe, and brand new game show Ross Kemp's I Won't Repeat The Question.

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Jonny and Richard wonder why Lionel Richie keeps turning up to a medieval Ford festival, even though they've asked him not to.

Also in this croaky and hungover episode, meeting Meat Loaf, describing The One Show, making synthesised handclaps, doing bad boxing and drinking a Baldwin of whiskey.

Plus, sports people with accidental interview VTEC, Jonny's daughter in a Berlingo sliding door disaster, a listener has a nightmare with a Chrysler Voyager and some monkeys, the surprising wealth of the MG owners' club, and remembering the Ford Explorer North Face edition.

Finally, Jonny has an update on his Late Brake Show cardening adventure with the old Porsches and Richard spills the beans on what really happened when he took part in a rallycross race for the most recent episode of The Grand Tour.

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Jonny's been to see Gordon Murray and Richard has weird memories of trying to win a Porsche 924S. Plus, some lesser known facts about the GMA T.33, the kind of Terminator robot that does admin, the cost of servicing a Ford GT, and discovering where Weetabix comes from. Also in this episode, Britain's biggest Post-It note enthusiast, pre-selector gearboxes on buses, the fate of 5th Gear giveaway cars, people who say "pull the trigger", and what on earth is the matter with Sir Lord Alan Sugar?

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Jonny and Richard wonder about a forgotten and very noisy part of the Mod scooter scene. Also in this episode, the cars of A Touch of Frost, annoyingly needless idling, a BMW problem that only affects police cars, meeting someone from The Bill, seeing a Toyota Blade and wondering if Gordon Murray is getting taller. Plus, Agnetha from ABBA running a Volvo parts warehouse, the weird noises made by Teslas, the price of second hand Alfa Giulias, the meaning of Cat S, the agony of slow overtaking, the joy of an old Tatra and the absence of young Bernards. Oh, and also some stuff about goats.

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Richard is flying solo this week and spends most of the podcast droning on about his Range Rover and then mangling the pronunciation of German words.

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Jonny's back after a trip to the world's longest pier and Richard knows a man who once had a terrible accident with a holiday scooter of doom.

Also in this episode, Gregg Wallace shouting at people in factories, unfortunate bottoming out stories in other people's cars, smashing up a load of Corsas in the name of airbag testing, and why elks are idiots.

Plus, the strange quirks of the Alfa Giulia Quadrifoglio, a very nice Lexus green, trying to persuade someone to buy a GS F, and actual police people have written in with the inside scoop on those mysterious BMW engine problems.

Finally, Jonny and Richard have an important message for all men.

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Jonny's been listening to Foreigner and Richard has a problem with the way people impersonate Elvis. Also in this episode, enjoying over-the-top songs, the art of extremely good backing vocals, grating cheese on a SAAB 99 Turbo alloy wheel, the value of PlayStation memorabilia, the inconvenience of cassette tapes, and the heroism of tumbling superbike riders. Plus, Fanta accidents, classic cisterns, West Country power, Japanese lavatory mishaps, more Alfa Giulia thoughts, and bands you can't enjoy because the leader singer seems to be a bit of a flute.

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Jonny decided to try something new while driving to Yorkshire. Also in this episode, Richard has been thinking about Flo Rida, Jonny remembers getting offered illicit things by a dove-eating American cab driver, there's some middle-aged man confusion about rap lyrics, and an interesting story about a Mercedes estate. Plus, Euro vans, the Citroen Spacetourer XL, making MPVs cool, soggy American minivans of the '90s, the new Morgan Super 3, bad wiper use, Smith and Sniff bingo, four cylinder Porsche stories, and Richard gets the giggles over that old joke about the eskimo taking his car to the garage.

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Jonny and Richard attempt to talk about the Volkswagen ID.Buzz but get slightly distracted by unexpected wetsuits, the Bristol Channel, Florence out of Florence + The Machine as a mermaid, meeting an etceterist, a weird homemade song about Boots Vouchers, walloping 909 beats, Federal-spec Peugeots, the film Blade (again), saying 'the thing is', being really into Marillion, having a terrible Ben Sherman Page 3 shirt, shouting swear words at a charging flap, low fat lard, and Richard's new car.

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