Shades of Wealth (Dr. Shay)

In this episode, Dr. Shay Harris-Pierre interviews Tairsa Mathews and Ed Coambs about money in relationships. Tairsa shares her money story and how her parents' hard work and creative problem-solving shaped her attitude towards money. She also discusses the challenges of navigating a varied income based on commissions with her husband. Ed provides insights into common dynamics that can arise in couples related to money and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and clear communication in these conversations. The episode highlights the intersection of money and attachment styles, and the impact of childhood experiences on financial behaviors in adulthood.

Takeaways

• Parents' money lessons and behaviors can shape our attitudes towards money.
• Having different financial perspectives in a relationship is possible, but it requires open communication and collaboration.
• Self-awareness, emotional regulation, and clear communication are essential in money conversations with partners.
• Attachment styles and childhood experiences can influence how we approach money in relationships.
• Understanding the intersection of money and emotions is crucial for building healthy financial dynamics.

Resources

Learn more about Ed Coambs’ work here: www.healthyloveandmoney.com

Check out Ed’s podcast here: https://www.healthyloveandmoney.com/podcasts/healthy-love-and-money

Here are the citations for the articles I mentioned:

Ross, D. B., Coambs, E., & Johnson, E. (2022). Trauma of the past: The impact of adverse childhood experiences on adult attachment, money beliefs and behaviors, and financial transparency. Journal of Financial Therapy, 13(1), 4.

Pollmann, M. M. (2021). Let’s Talk about Money: The Role of Attachment Styles in Couples’ Financial Communication, Financial Management, and Financial Conflict. Journal of Financial Therapy, 12(2), 6.

In this episode, Dr. Shay Harris-Pierre speaks with Nathan Astle, a financial therapist and business owner, about his money story and how discomfort in dealing with money affects his business leadership. They discuss Nathan's upbringing, his parents' conflicts around money, and how it led to his money avoidance. Nathan shares his journey of healing and how he found his passion for financial therapy. In the second part of the episode, Dr. Shay speaks with Khara Croswaite Brindle, a financial therapist and serial entrepreneur, about money avoidance and perfectionism in business ownership. They discuss the emotional charge behind money avoidance and the impact it has on business decisions. Khara emphasizes the importance of normalizing imperfection and vulnerability in entrepreneurship. Overall, the episode highlights the need for intentional exploration of our money stories, seeking help, and creating cultures of openness around money.

Takeaways

• Money avoidance is a common behavior that stems from discomfort, dread, anxiety, shame, and guilt around money. It often leads to behaviors such as avoiding checking bank accounts, not opening bills, and not talking about money.
• Money avoidance can be influenced by negative self-talk and inherited money beliefs from family, friends, and society. Challenging these beliefs and embracing vulnerability can help in overcoming money avoidance.
• Perfectionism is a common trait among entrepreneurs and business owners. While it can be a superpower, it can also lead to fear of failure, imposter syndrome, and workaholism. Normalizing imperfection and seeking support can help in harnessing perfectionism.
• Creating safe spaces to learn and grow, such as consultation groups, therapy, and business classes, can help business owners overcome money avoidance and gain a better understanding of their business finances.
• Embracing vulnerability and normalizing imperfection can lead to personal and professional growth, allowing entrepreneurs to thrive and build something beautiful.

Resources:

Perfectioneur from Workaholic to Well-Balanced (Khara's Book): https://a.co/d/i38lofd

Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: https://a.co/d/cINkFN7

Keep in Touch with Khara:

Financial Therapy Webpage: https://croswaitecounselingpllc.com/financial-therapy

Socials:
@kharacroswaite on IG

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kharacroswaite/

Welcome to Shades of Wealth! In this introductory episode, I share my background and what you can expect from the Shades of Wealth Podcast moving forward!

In this episode, Dr. Shay speaks with Dr. Charmaine Conner who shares her money story about growing up in a financially unstable household and the impact it had on her relationship with money. Charmaine discusses her desire for financial security and how it led to overspending and neglecting her financial well-being. Dr. Tracy Williams joins the conversation to provide insights and guidance on managing money scripts, setting boundaries, and navigating guilt and shame associated with upward mobility. The episode emphasizes the importance of understanding our past experiences and needs in order to develop a healthy relationship with money.

Takeaways:

• Our relationship with money is often shaped by our past experiences and needs.
• Financial security can lead to overspending and neglecting financial well-being.
• Setting boundaries is crucial in managing financial obligations to family members.
• Guilt and shame are common emotions associated with upward mobility.
• Understanding our money scripts and addressing them can help improve our financial behaviors.

You can find Dr. Traci here:

Tiktok: @healthywealthyroots

Instagram: @healthywealthyroots

www.pouiconsulting.com

In this episode, Dr. Shay speaks with Shaun Maslyk about his money story. Sean shares how his inner "Mr. Shy" influenced his relationship with money. Dr. Shay then speaks with Tara Unverzagt, in this conversation, Dr. Shay and Tara discuss the concept of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how it relates to financial behaviors. They explore the idea that our financial decisions are influenced by different parts of ourselves, such as the manager, firefighter, and evaluator. These parts have different agendas and can sometimes lead to conflicting behaviors. They also discuss the importance of having conversations about money and being vulnerable with our loved ones.

Takeaways:

• Our money stories are influenced by different parts of ourselves that may have conflicting desires and needs.
• Money can be a conduit for feeling seen, valued, and heard, but it's important to recognize that true connection comes from within.
• Aligning our values with our spending can lead to greater satisfaction and enjoyment of the journey.
• Addressing anxiety around money conversations can be done through the lens of internal family systems.
• Understanding our inner money world is essential for a healthy relationship with money. Our financial decisions are influenced by different parts of ourselves, each with their own agenda and role.
• Having conversations about money and being vulnerable with our loved ones can strengthen our relationships and improve our financial well-being.
• Understanding and healing our underlying beliefs and emotions is crucial for making clear financial decisions.
• Financial well-being comes from having flexibility in our beliefs and behaviors, and adapting them to the context of our lives.

You can connect with Tara here:

https://www.southbayfinancialpartners.com/

IG: @southbayfinancialpartners

X: @SouthBayFinPart

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@southbayfinancialpartners4608/featured