Real World Parenting (Dr Laura S Anderson)

Today's conversation is in response to the recent acts of gun violence in the United States, specifically the Robb Elementary School shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Entire communities are left on edge following last week's horrific shooting. It is important to help children feel safe in the face of unfathomable danger. Sadly, the need for these conversations is increasing and these conversations are often difficult for parents and kids alike. Dr. Laura Anderson provides step by step scripts for how to talk to kids about the potential of violence in school, how to manage their fears, and how to approach conversation about events out of our control. Step By Step Plan

What You Will Learn:

• How to prepare for tough conversations

• Language that is especially helpful in these situations

• Step by step scripts for conversations with your child

• Healthy coping strategies for you and your child

• Next steps to continue healthy habits beyond the initial conversation

For a detailed outline of this process, head to https://www.drlauraanderson.com/real-world-parenting-podcast/ep28-school-based-violence

Join Dr. Laura Anderson in this episode as she and her guest, Russel Van Brocklin, dispel common misconceptions about dyslexia and offer a fresh perspective that emphasizes strengths. Discover effective methods for skill-building and concrete resources. Plus, Russel shares his personal journey, revealing the unique advantages of being dyslexic.

Russel Van Brocklin's wish is to communicate with parents, tutors and teachers to help their struggling dyslexic students significantly improve their comprehension, writing and organizational skills. As a dyslexic himself, Russel knows the pain and shame that often accompanies dyslexia and understands the financial and emotional strain this condition can place on families as they search for answers and support. He has developed a unique system for teaching writing skills to highly motivated students with dyslexia.

What You Will Learn:

• What is Dyslexia and how do we define it?
• What helps and why do these methods work?
• How ai can support people with dyslexia

Resources:

https://dyslexiaclasses.com

Lots of folks are seeking assessments to help the family understand the way their child learns and to maximize how rewarding schooling is. We often think more about how to convey your child's needs to professionals at school, but talking to children about it can go overlooked. Children always have a sense that something is different for them, and if we don't talk to them they start to develop their own narratives about what's going on. Those narratives are often very negative and can be harmful following them into adulthood. Beginning the conversation early with your child will help them with their self esteem and identity. This week, DR. Laura Anderson invites Dr. Liz Angoff for a conversation on understanding learning profiles and helping children understand how their brains work.

Liz Angoff, Ph.D., is a Licensed Educational Psychologist with a Diplomate in School Neuropsychology, providing assessment and consultation services to children and their families in the Bay Area, CA. She is the author of the Brain Building Books, tools for engaging children in understanding their learning and developmental differences as part of the assessment process.

What You Will Learn:

• Is there a predictable pattern in how kids learn?

• Tools for getting started in your child's assessment

• How can parents prepare for the assessment process?

• Helping your child grow to advocate with confidence

• Finding the language your child uses to explain their experiences so you can meet your child where they're at and solving the problem they want to solve

Resources:

www.BrainBuildingBook.com

In part 2 of Dr. Laura Anderson's grief series, she invites Michele Benyo to discuss how to support kids who have had a sibling die during childhood.

Little ones grieve differently and that grief moves with them through life. It is important to recognize that the way we explain grief to kids and the messages we give them can result in an unhealthy grieving process. Parents can benefit from understanding that grief isn't this thing to avoid. Dr. Laura and Michele share ways to approach these difficult subjects and big feelings with children.

Michele Benyo helps families heal and live forward with grief after the death of their child. With the Good Grief Parenting Approach parents get in touch with their parenting wisdom so they can be confident that they are helping their bereaved young child grieve well and can be hopeful about a future for their family bright with possibilities and even joy.

What You Will Learn:

• Recognizing how little ones grieve and how a sibling loss affects them

• Grief is good

• Tell your child when you're missing this person, open that conversation

• What children need is information, true and child appropriate - honest information

• Kids have big feelings that need to be acknowledged

• Sometimes you can't make them feel better - they need to understand that you can go through the emotion together even if there is no way to make the big feelings go away

• Modeling how to take care our ourselves - empowering agency

• Notice the way we talk about death

• Making sure they understand this isn't the their fault

• Specific tips for how to support kids and talk them through grief of any kind

Resources:

www.goodgriefparenting.com

This week Dr. Gamby joins Dr. Laura to discuss things to look for if you’re wondering whether or not your child may have autism. If your child does have a pattern of developmental differences, it is important to intervene early. Dr. Gamby highlights steps to take to ensure your child's needs are being met.

Tanya Gamby, Ph.D. is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and a past President of the Hawaii Psychological Association. During the course of her career, Dr. Gamby trained and worked with some of the top autism providers in the world. She currently runs an autism early intervention clinic in Hawaii. Dr. Gamby has over twenty years of experience doing early intervention with children with autism. She is passionate about providing ethical, effective interventions for children and their families.

What You Will Learn in this podcast:

• Signs that may be symptoms of an autism spectrum disorder

• The strengths that children diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder often have

• The importance of early assessment and intervention

• The arc of mild autism

• How ABA therapy done skillfully and playfully is an effective intervention

• How to find the right clinician to help your child and family

Resources:

Association for Science and Autism treatment www.ASAT.com

https://www.autismserviceskauai.com/our-team

www.drlauraanderson.com

Ann Garcia, aka The College Financial Lady, has helped thousands of families save millions of dollars on college. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites Ann on to share valuable strategies and pertinent information to set you and your child up for success in saving for their future. Great college options are available at every price point and there are various steps you can take to feel more prepared in this process.Ann Garcia is a fee-only Certified Financial Planner and managing partner of Independent Progressive Advisors, Ann specializes in helping families balance the desire to support their children’s dreams with the reality of funding their own lives. What You Will Learn:

• What gets in the way of parents having a clear cut plan for paying for college
• 529 plans - what they are and how to use them
• How to talk to your child about finances
• Financial aid, and eligibility
• Different types of scholarships
• What to look for when looking for colleges
• Don't count yourself out
• FAFSA and how it works
• How to balance your savings between college and retirement

www.howtopayforcollege.com

The brain gets its info from inside, outside, and all places in between. The most common conversation is of the 5 external facing senses, but what is often overlooked are the internal senses: vestibular, proprioception, and interoception. This episode looks at parenting from a brain based perspective and covers what parents need to know to lead to greater regulation in their homes. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH back to the Real World Parenting podcast for a conversation on sensory integration and the connection between the sensory system, brain, heart bodies, behavior, and connection in family.

Jessica Sinarski is a highly sought-after therapist, speaker, and change-maker. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a clinician and educator led her to create the resource and training platform–BraveBrains. She makes brain science practical, helping parents and professionals become healers for hurting children. She is the author of the award-winning Riley the Brave series, Hello, Anger, and more.

What You Will Learn:

• Sensory systems that need more or less do not make you weak. It's just how you're wired and it makes life rich.

• Reasons to reroute your energy into developing your kid's language around sensory feelings

• How you can work with your child to help them learn to regulate

• Proactive steps to take to regulate your child's sensory system

• Tips to navigate the shame and guilt that comes with sensory dysregulation

Resources:

www.rileythebrave.org/senses

https://bravebrains.com

• What goes on in your child's nervous system when they are lying
• Block out feedback from others
• Increase stress resilience
• What to do in the moment to tolerate and regulate big stress behaviors

It can feel lonely when your child is struggling. At the end of the day you don't get a prize for being the most tired parent - ask for help, find community. The burden of motherhood is eased a lot when you're not alone. This week Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jessica Secrest to share her experience and tools for loving an amazing child whose behaviors can be hard to like.

Jessica Secrest is a mom of 2, ages 4.5 and 3. Her eldest child was diagnosed with ADHD in 2023 and she shares tips, strategies, and struggles that come with caring for a neurodivergent child. She is an advocate for Body Positivity and works to show her kids that you can be happy no matter your size. Jessica is a big believer in finding your village in motherhood and shares her motherhood journey with her best friend Emily. She is known for sharing their childcare swap arrangements, expressing the importance of leaning on your village and taking time to spend with your spouse when you can.

What You Will Learn:

• It takes a village

• Reinforcement to counteract the negative

• Don't give up - there will be trial and error, but you will find something that works for you

• Tips for getting your child to listen and hear what you say

Resources:@ApplesauceandADHD

The power struggle that occurs when your child doesn't get the help they need leaves all parties feel like they're failing. If your child is struggling and you feel like you've exhausted your resources or haven't yet found the right support that works and are looking to expand to new modalities, Neurofeedback training may be the support you and your child need. Mom on a mission Dianne Kosto joins Dr. Laura Anderson for a conversation on what Neurofeedback training looks like and how it can help regulate your child's brain and make life easier. Dianne Kosto, is the CEO and Founder of SYMMETRY Neuro-Pathway Training, which provides Neurofeedback services and systems to individuals, families, therapeutic programs and professionals across the USA, Canada, and Mexico. With the knowledge that Neurofeedback saved her son's life and restored hope for her family, Dianne is a Mom on a Mission to make Neurofeedback technology available to individuals and families so they can avoid the trauma her family experienced as a result of her son's brain dysregulation.

What You Will Learn

• What is a brain map report?

• Does insurance cover Neurofeedback training?

• What type of misinformation is out there?

Resources:https://symmetryneuropt.comhttps://isnr.org

With the holiday season in full gear, you may notice a spotlight on shifting expectations and dysregulated behaviors. This time can be a reminder of loss, grief and the complex mixed feelings for many adoptees. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Mike Berry to share tools you can use to navigate this stressful time of year.

Mike Berry is the Co-CEO and Co-Founder of Honestly Adoption, a virtual support, resource, and training site for foster and adoptive families. The Honestly Adoption Company is fiercely committed to helping parents gain insight into their child, change their parenting approach, and in turn, transform their family. They believe strongly in highlighting and spotlighting voices from the entire adoption triad. Mike and his wife Kristen have built this amazing network that has been voted in the Top 5 out of 100 best adoption blogs on earth 5 years in a row by Healthline.com and Feedspot.

What You Will Learn:

• Become aware that this may be a difficult season for your child

• Continue to look beneath behaviors for feelings driving behavior

• To notice your own expectations and how those impact family regulation

• Be mindful of overstimulation

• How trauma history can dictate your child's behavior

• Soothing and regulation tools for the holiday time

Resources: https://honestlyadoption.com

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/honestly-adoption-mike-berry/1129825395

https://www.facebook.com/honestlyadoption/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeberrywriting/

Too often, conversations about adoption are parent-centered and from the perspective of parents. This can be quite harmful for adoptees and adoptive families. This episode features a transracial adoptee who offers a well rounded perspective of adoption.

Katie Wynen, MSW, is a transracial, international Colombian adoptee, with a Masters in Social Work. Katie has worked with members of the adoption triad since 2006. She studied under Dr. Joyce Pavao in Boston before moving to California and joining the Pact staff where she works in adoption placement, leads groups, works with tweens and teens, and provides adoption education worldwide. She works with families who are looking to adopt, providing education and preparation locally and nationally for families. Katie is an Angels in Adoption 2019 Recipient from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption institute.

In this episode we do a deeper dive into some adoption-related do's and don'ts and how to be better prepared to raise your adopted child.

What you will learn:

• Adoption follows adoptees throughout everyday life

• Why it is so important to center adoptee voices when you are seeking support as adoptive families

• Why you shouldn't tell an adoptee they are lucky

• What is Pact -and why you should check them out if you are parenting an adopted child of color

PACT Adoption Alliance - resources for families raising adopted children of color

https://www.pactadopt.org/app/servlet/HomePage

WISE Up Workbook for adoptees to practice agency when others ask them about adoption

https://store.adoptionsupport.org/product/WISE-PB/wise-up-powerbook

Honestly Adoption - On-line support for adoptive parents

https://honestlyadoption.com/

Common Chord Psychology Services Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/drlsanderson

Dr. Laura Anderson's website

https://www.drlauraanderson.com/

Dr. Laura Anderson invites April Dinwoodie to the mic in this week's episode of The Real World Parenting Podcast. April Dinwoodie is an accomplished corporate marketing and branding professional turned nationally-recognized voice on adoption, foster care, and multiracial/multicultural families. From creating a mentoring program for youth in foster care to becoming the CEO of the Donaldson Adoption Institute (DAI), April is a fiercely dedicated leader helping individuals, systems, and corporations as they address the urgent and age-old questions of identity, values, and differences of race, culture, and class. Dinwoodie hosts “Born in June, Raised in April: What Adoption Can Teach the World!” a podcast to educate and inspire conversation about adoption, identity, and family diversity. April brings authenticity, curiosity, empathy, and a whole lot of candor to the conversation this week. She shares the key principles she lives by, and tools for both adoptees and parents to hold a space to process, be seen, and heard. What you will learn:

• What you can do in conversations to make space for what is going on in your child's mind

• Tips to plan ahead for potentially hard family gatherings

• How to make space for the reality that intense hard feelings live side by side with intense joy

• The importance of centering adoptee voices and find other folks on this journey

Links:

www.aprildinwoodie.com

FaceBook: @bornjuneraisedapril @aprildinwoodie

Twitter/Instagram: @juneinapril

Podcast: Born in June Raised in April

Featured in Huffington Post, Medium

This week's guest is one of Dr. Laura Anderson's favorite people in the whole world: her 13-year-old son. The two share an open and honest conversation through the lens of a therapist parent and child relationship. He candidly shares some of his favorite parts of having a therapist parent and offers some suggestions for ways to get through to your child.

What You Will Learn:

• How parenting lands on your kid from a child's perspective

• How to communicate more effectively with your kid

• Reasons to ask for impromptu feedback

• The importance of staying regulated as a parent to provide for your child

Gender identity is a complex web, and the world of gender is a beautiful place to learn to expand your own limitations and automatic thinking. For parents and others trying to learn how to best support children, there is a tremendous amount of misinformation circulating about gender identity and kids and teens. Join me for a careful thoughtful exploration of this important topic.

A big piece of our job as parents is to teach our children to tune into their intuition and stand strong in who they are. Yet, often parent's struggle with navigating parenting a child exploring their gender identity. Dr. Anderson invites you to consider that you are not the brakes or the accelerator in your child's gender exploration. If you are a parent new to this journey, each child's experience is different. The key piece is centering your child, establishing a common language, and continuing to be open to learning.

In this episode, Dr. Laura offers a parent's view of how gender identity works, what to do, what not to do, and who to turn to for help when your child is exploring their identity. Tune in next week for Part 2, which includes scripts for what to say if your child comes to you with questions about their gender.

What You Will Learn?

• What is gender identity?

• What does the term non-binary mean?

• The importance of battling misinformation so parents are well-informed objectively

• Clarifying the different between sexual orientation and gender identity

Love alone is not enough to protect your transracially adopted child from the difficulties they will face. This episode aims to highlight strategies for raising children with intersecting identities, and shed light on the resources that are available today.

In this episode of the Real World Parenting podcast, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on a special guest to discuss the intersecting identities of being LGBTQ+ and adopted. Mark Hagland recounts his struggle finding himself between interacting with Korean people who don't understand his gay identity and interacting with white LGBTQ+ people who don't understand his POC identity.

Mark Hagland is an adult transracial and international adoptee. He was born in South Korea in 1960 and adopted as an infant by white parents of Norwegian and German descent, and grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He is a professional business journalist and lives in Chicago. He has participated in in-person and online forums around transracial adoption for over 20 years, and has spoken publicly about issues around transracial adoption in numerous settings, both in the United States and in Europe.

What You Will Learn:

• What is meant by the concept narrative burden, and why adoptive parents need to understand it

• Love is a great place to start, but it isn't enough to protect transracial adoptees from identity harm

• How to make sure your kids are getting into spaces where they feel seen and supported for both their racial and LGBTQ+ identities

• There are no shortcuts- parents can learn to sit with discomfort now so our kids don't have to later

• How different identities can shine in different circumstances

This week's episode is all about gender in schools. Any child who is going through a gender journey will need a support system in school. There is an understanding that we need to become inclusive, but many people don't know what that means on a practical level and what comes next. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on guest Cath Brew to help highlight what needs to be different or recognized at school for your child to feel safe, seen, and supported in their two primary environments of home and school.

Cath is an artist who educates and illustrates about marginalised experiences for positive change - with a focus on identity, belonging and expat life. She works with international schools on whole-school LGBTQ+ inclusion together with empowering LGBTQ+ students to be proud. Cath hosts Talk-Back Tuesday: a weekly LGBTQ chat on social media, whilst her podcast ‘Drawn to a Deeper Story’, explores the ‘lives that challenge us and the difficult conversations around them’. Cath also runs 'Crock-of-shit-free' Spiritual Guidance - she helps clients to find inner peace and heal from emotional wounds including ancestral trauma, limiting beliefs, difficult relationships and other internal struggles. Her illustrations can be found on a range of gifts in the Drawn to a Story online shop.

What You Will Learn:

• The importance of understand the difference of sex and gender

• It is important to be thorough in changing paperwork needed to reflect your child's new identity

• Planning discussions with your child on if they want to tell the school about their new identity and how they'd feel comfortable doing so

• Teaching your child how they can reclaim language and reframe their mindset on certain words

• Understanding the possibility that your child may come out at school prior to coming out at home

Resources:

Web: www.drawntoastory.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drawntoastory

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrawntoaStory

https://drlsanderson.thinkific.com

Starting January 24th, Dr. Laura's Gender Journey Courses will be available for purchase: 7 courses packaged in 3 different bundles to best fit your child and family's needs. These courses are designed for parents, but clinicians will find a lot of value in each module.

The information in this space can be overwhelming, confusing, and hard to navigate through the weeds. Dr. Laura has outlined a careful and expansive conversation in a caring, educational, and collaborative format. If you have any questions or concerns on whether this course is right for you, please reach out: contact@drlauraanderson.com

Parents and children need to be met where they are when any decision is being made. Dr. Laura aims to help parents feel equipped and empowered to show up for their kids who need support, advocacy, understanding, and love. Each bundle covers common myths and how to debunk them, definitions, information about child development, and a deeper dive into what to say when...

Ultimately these courses help folks know what to look for, what to expect, and practical takeaways with interactive downloads for further learning and support

The voices of first/birth parents, sadly, are rarely heard in the mainstream media related to adoption. This week on the Real World Parenting Podcast, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Susan Dusza Guerra Leksander, LMFT to discuss navigating the power dynamics in adoptive families, dealing with the trauma that is inherent in the adoption process, and so much more. They touch on the fears involved in getting things wrong in these relationships, the fear for your child's safety, and the recent current events with Amy Coney Barrett and the abortion bans in the United States.

Susan Dusza Guerra Leksander, LMFT is a first mother, transracial adoptee, and a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in the adoption and foster care triads. As First/Birth Family Specialist, Susan focuses on the needs of expectant parents considering adoption, and first/birth families of who have placed children of color for adoption. Susan placed her daughter for adoption in 2001 in an “open” adoption which was subsequently closed by her daughter’s adoptive parents. She was transracially adopted as an infant and, with the support of her adoptive parents, reunited with her first families as a teenager. Susan envisions a world where all expectant parents and first/birth parents are fully empowered, accurately informed, and emotionally supported, in order to make the best decisions for their children and themselves.

What You Will Learn:

• To unpack all that goes into adoption

• To question your own beliefs and assumptions

• Tips for clinicians working with members of the adoption triad

• How trauma affects the First Parent even in a voluntary adoptive situation

• Ways to cope with the imbalance of legal rights

• What are the emotional experiences of birth first parents and how that shows up in relationships and communication

Resources:

Susan hosts a monthly peer support group for any first family members through PACT

pactadopt.org

susan@pactadopt.org

Mpower alliance: https://www.mpoweralliance.org

Concerned United Birth Parents https://www.cubirthparents.org

Board certified clinical psychologist and professor Dr. Kim Finney joins Dr. Laura Anderson to talk about the experiences that Black children have in predominantly White educational institutions. Sharing wisdom from her decades of professional experience, and as a Black woman and mother, Dr. Finney offers a formula for inoculating Black children against the harm they face in predominantly White institutions. In this episode, Drs. Finney and Anderson share concrete tips for helping Black children and their parents cope with, and thrive in, predominantly White schools.

Back by popular demand, Beth Wheeler: psychotherapist, educator, networker, and advocate who works to promote equity and inclusion with diverse populations in all areas of her work. Beth's first time on the Real World Parenting podcast is the most listened to episode of the show, so we wanted to further these vital conversations about whiteness, anti-racism, and parenting interracially adopted teensIf you haven't listened to our first conversation, you can listen hereSo much of adoption is about a confusing identity of frequently asking “where is home?” amidst unknowns of who you are. At a time where everybody is searching and trying to understand who they are, identity questions become more profound especially in children with intersecting identities. This week, Dr. Laura and Beth discuss how having adolescent children changes or highlights the way your whiteness shows up in your parenting and navigating children growing into teens and being perceived differently.What You Will Learn:

• Stay curious and find community

• Listen to & believe your children

• How conversations change from when they were younger

• How ingroup & outgroup communication differs

• Our kids can teach us too

Resources:https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-wheeler-aa0b5ba/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/beth-wheeler-silver-spring-md/445743

We are currently living in a time in history where we as a society are talking and learning about sexuality and gender identity. People are understandably confused- and it is as important as ever to create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and their families. Children growing up discovering their sexuality often feel alone in not knowing others who feel the same as they do and feel the pressure of cultural shame. This week's guest is Philip Steinbacher, who shares a variety of small changes that can make a world's difference to children. Philip shares his experience growing up as a gay cisgender male and how it has impacted how he approaches teaching. He has encouraged the staff to create a more welcoming environment and fostered a safe space within a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) club for both LGBTQ+ students and allies to channel their energy in a productive way.

Professionally, Philip Steinbacher has performed as an entertainer at Walt Disney World and been an educator in public and private schools in Florida, North Carolina, Illinois, and Hawai‘i. He holds a BA in Music and an MA in Elementary Education. Philip is the author of two books, Quotation Quizzlers and Vocabulary Ladders, and has an additional title being released this fall. He is the editor of Garden Island Tea, a digital newsletter spilling the tea about events, opportunities, and news for the Kaua'i LGBTQ+ community. So much for the formal résumé. Currently, Philip prefers to say he is a music lover, bibliophile, impresario, cyclist, pianist, hubby, guncle, friend, author, and dog daddy who appreciates fun clothes and really digs disco balls. He lives on the island of Kaua‘i with his husband Jason and their dog Lucky.

What You Will Learn:

• What are some small changes you can make so children feel comfortable?

• Even allies with good intentions need to work on their approach sometimes

• If we force communication and LGBTQ+ stereotypes, we are going to receive a negative reaction

• How can parents make an impact in the safe space opportunities within school?

Marcie Alvis Walker joins Dr. Laura Anderson on today's podcast. She shares how her cultural experience being raised in a black family within an all white community left her unprepared to navigate raising an African American child in today's world. From there, she has taken the steps to navigate tricky situations and educate others within that space.

Marcie Alvis-Walker is a writer based in Chicago, IL. She is the curator of the popular Instagram handle @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends, which focuses on race, theology, and current events with a corresponding blog of the same name. She is also the writer and creator of Black-Eyed Bible Stories, a Substack newsletter and podcast focused on Black Womanist readings of the Bible. Her goal in life is “to be the voice of my unheard ancestors by creating a written archive of the Black stories for my child and for future generations of children.” She is passionate about what it means to embrace intersectionality, diversity and inclusion in our daily lives.

What You Will Learn:

• Find out the history of where you live

• Seek professionals of color

• Challenge your school board

• Racism doesn't only hurt people of color, it hurts society at large

This week Dr. Laura Anderson brings back Katie Wynen, MSW, a transracial, international Colombian adoptee with a Masters in Social Work, to continue last episode's conversation. Katie has worked with members of the adoption triad since 2006. She works with families who are looking to adopt, providing education and preparation locally and nationally for families.

This episode jumps right back in where we left off with Katie sharing her do's and don'ts with actionable tips for adoptive parents. In raising an adoptive child, there is always room for improvement to give your child the tools they need. Katie helps make the process easier and straightforward for all parties involved.

What you will learn:

• Methods for responding to intrusive questions that WILL happen for adoptive families

• What parents can say and do differently to raise culturally identified children

• Why adoptee-centered organizations like PACT are so important for adoptees and their families.

Links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/katie-wynen-msw-0747b545/

PACT Adoption Alliance - resources for families raising adopted children of color

https://www.pactadopt.org/app/servlet/HomePage

WISE Up Workbook for adoptees to practice agency when others ask them about adoption

https://store.adoptionsupport.org/product/WISE-PB/wise-up-powerbook

Honestly Adoption - On-line support for adoptive parents

https://honestlyadoption.com/

Common Chord Psychology Services Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/drlsanderson

Dr. Laura Anderson's website

https://www.drlauraanderson.com/

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Beth Wheeler for a long overdue conversation. The two join together in discussing whiteness and the anti-racist work that we, as White people, need to be doing. Dr. Laura and Beth identify the common roadblocks people face in their anti-racist work and what keeps White people from speaking up. This episode will give you the tools you need to move forward on your own so that the burden doesn't fall upon People of Color.

Dr. Laura and Beth offer specific strategies for staying in the work even when it is uncomfortable, and hope today will help you in your journey.

Beth Wheeler (she/her/hers) is a psychotherapist, educator, networker, and advocate who works to promote equity and inclusion with diverse populations in all areas of her work. A Clinical Social Worker trained also in bodywork, Beth’s understanding of trauma and resilience inform both her private practice with adults and her Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging work in organizations. Beth identifies as a white, cis-gender, queer/lesbian, middle-class, able-bodied woman. She is also co-raising her two black domestically adopted sons (15 and 12), with her ex-wife.

What You Will Learn:

• What it means to be White and how that shapes the way we think about race and racism

• Which feelings keep White people from working to be anti-racist and what we can do about them

• How White people can support other White people in doing the work

• How we define White supremacy, and why language matters

• When to ask for help if you are a White person raising children of color

Resources:

Beth Wheeler

https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-wheeler-aa0b5ba/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/beth-wheeler-silver-spring-md/445743

Janet Helms

https://www.apa.org/members/content/race-mechanisms-inequality

SURJ Showing up to Racial Justice

https://surj.org

This week's episode aims to normalize the idea of the loss of your kid not being who you imagined who they would be. This is a universal experience for parents as most kids, once they start developing their own identities, start to have interests and hobbies that may not align with what you'd imagined for them. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Lisette Lahana, LCSW to share her expertise in how grief affects families who raise a gender expansive child.

Lisette Lahana is a licensed clinical social worker with Bachelor degrees in Critical Gender Studies and Psychology and a Masters of Social Work from Smith College. Her extensive experience providing gender affirming care to transgender, non binary, intersex, those questioning and people who are re-transitioning spans over 23 years. She is a certified member and mentor with World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) since 2002. Lisette has a full-time psychotherapy practice where she works individually with clients of all ages with a primary focus on gender.

What You Will Learn:

• How grief can be affirming of a gender expansive child and how it can get in the way

• You can grieve aspects of a child’s gender journey without grieving who they are

• It's okay to let your child know you're struggling ( including do’s and don’ts for how to share that)

• The two types of ambiguous loss

• When you find ways to grieve the loss of your own expectations, you make room to celebrate your child

Resources:

https://www.lisettelahana.com/

Join us in this candid and empowering episode as we sit down with Shalita Grant for a conversation about natural hair care. Best known for her role in NCIS: New Orleans, Shalita opens up about the realization that her hair was becoming an obstacle in her acting career.

As an actress with Type 4 hair, the tightest texture on the hair chart, she faced unique challenges while on NCIS New Orleans. Shalita experienced traction alopecia in her second season and significant hair loss along her hairline in the third season, ultimately leading to her decision to break contract and leave her job by the fourth season. These experiences led to Shalita creating the Four Naturals solution.

Delve into the emotional aspects of her experience and gain insights on fostering a healthy relationship with hair, especially for kids.

What You Will Learn:

• Why Shalita quit NCIS
• Shalita's journey with hair loss and hair care
• About Shalita's 4 Naturals hair treatment solutions
• The emotional trauma from poor hair care
• Helping kid's foster healthy hair and a healthy relationship to their hair

If we haven't done our internal work to understand our implicit bias, we could be protecting our client from something integral to their identity. The more shame and secrecy we have the more we undercut our children's opportunity to be prepared. This week's episode dives into how you can provide the space for your child to flourish. All human beings have a right to bodily autonomy and self determination.

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on guest Eden Atwood for the conversation. Eden opens up about her story in learning about her intersex diagnosis, discussing medical trauma, and offers parenting tools to work through your fears.

Eden Atwood is a parent and social worker who is currently in private practice. Atwood has been an outspoken advocate and activist for children born with differences of sex development and co-founded the online intersex awareness-raising website, The Interface Project.

What You Will Learn:

• Leading with fear doesn't do anything positive

• Community is key

• Fostering a sense of bodily autonomy

• Sheep, shepherd, and pasture metaphor

• Keep your knees bent

Resources:

https://www.interfaceproject.org

https://edenatwoodlcsw.com

Dr. Laura S. Anderson is a child and family psychologist with decades of working with kids, teens and families. In this introductory episode Dr. Anderson sets the stage for her approach of combining decades of experience working with kids and families in schools and offices, with lessons learned on her living room couch as a parent. Dr. Anderson makes child psychology accessible to parents and provides clinicians with information she wishes she had earlier in her career. Get to know Dr. Anderson and the way she uses humor and humility to leave parents and clinicians with concrete tips and scripts to help families overcome difficulties and thrive.

On this journey, when children open up it is important to remember that this is also hard for them. It is so important to be with your child and support them in an empathetic way versus heading straight to problem solving. Just saying 'we're in this together' can make a huge impact. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Amir Yassai, who grew up as a child of many intersecting identities. He shares how his experiences shaped who he is as an adult and how people's perceptions can be harmful, even if they're not with ill intent.

Amir Yassai is a queer Muslim unicorn who won’t shy away from any conversation. Comedy is at the center of everything he does. He actively battles against racism, transphobia, and body shaming in the queer community. Amir is an internet personality under the name Amir Yass known for his humor, vulnerability, and sociopolitical takes.

What You Will Learn:

• Emphasis on empathy versus problem solving

• Instead of looking to make the process smoother, walk with and be present

• Recognizing microaggressions and being mindful not to assume based on stereotypes -- even if it may seem like a positive assumption, it can be harmful

• Alittle sensitivity goes a long way

• How do we see someone's identity without centering it as entirely who they are

Resources:

http://amiryass.com/

https://instagram.com/amiryassofficial?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

https://www.tiktok.com/@amiryassofficial?_t=8ZMguhPETf8&_r=1

This episode offers tips for parents of kids who have big attachment loss and discusses the way that impacts their schooling.

Families often feel misunderstood and unsupported by their school even when administrators have the best intentions. The current one-size fits all curriculum ends up being counterproductive for most of these children who better learn through other methods. Many children leave schooling feeling low self-confidence from not being able to thrive in the systems at hand. It's not that they can't do school, but that standardized learning does not work for them. It is important to instill in children that they are not the problem. This week's guest, Kristine Altwies, MA/LMFT, aims to revolutionize schools and offer tools for parents to use in supporting their children in the places they need it most.

For many years Kristine Altwies worked in adoption as the Executive Director/CEO of Hawai’i International Child Placement and Family Services, Inc. (HIC) and coordinated adoptions around the globe. On that journey she has worked with children and families as a parent trainer, therapist and coach. She also has experiece working as a secondary education teacher (public and private schools). Kristine believes every person is born perfect, and the challenges we experience along the way come at the hands of others, managed with greater or lesser success in our own hearts, minds and bodies.

What You Will Learn:

• What trauma does to the brain.

• How do we work with the system that is and how we can revolutionize the system to better help children moving forward.

• Know the laws.

• Own being the difficult parent. You have to be willing to be pushy.

• Language to stay away from.

Resources:

Waldorf Education

A Family Tree - http://www.afamilytree.org/

Pono Roots Counseling Center - www.ponoroots.org

• Finding a shared kid language to better communicate
• Navigating public tantrums
• Sometimes nothing is wrong, sometimes kids are just weird
• The more we can connect with kids the better
• The yeti series
• Have grace with yourself
• Look at things with a joyful perspective

This week, Dr. Laura is joined by a dear friend and strong wealth of knowledge, Kwame Abernathy, JD. Kwame is the youngest child of two modern-day civil rights activists, Juanita Jones Abernathy and Rev. Dr. Ralph David Abernathy. Kwame received all that he is the honest way: he inherited it. An upbringing stressing honesty, education and dedication to a movement for equality and human rights, he has blossomed with each new challenge and remained grounded and connected to his community. Kwame constantly challenges himself to operate outside of his comfort zone, travelling the world and learning other cultures.

In this episode, Kwame shares key memories from his youth and his experience with parenting strategies from an activist perspective. Together Dr. Laura and Kwame cover different ways to support healthy racial identity development in young black people that goes beyond struggle and strife. Kwame delivers his best recipes and formulas to help inoculate young black youth against racism.

Key Topics:

• Know your history

• Navigating different environments

• Moving through white spaces feeling confident

• Imparting a sense of racial strength

• Developing the skill set to handle what won't be fair, and thrive

Dr. Laura Anderson is joined by Dr. Cedric L. Alexander in this week’s episode about speaking with kids about police violence and racism. Dr. Cedric L. Alexander Psy. D. is a law enforcement expert with over 40 years of experience in public safety. He has appeared on national media networks to provide comment on police-community relations and as a CNN law enforcement analyst. He is a former National President for the National Organization of Black Law Enforcement Executives (NOBLE), and he is the author of two books about policing. In this episode Drs. Alexander and Anderson have a frank conversation, and lay out concrete strategies to keep Black and brown children safe in turbulent times.

• An introduction to gender identity and child and adolescent development
• A chance to have general questions answered about kids, teens and gender
• A chance to connect with other parents
• Resources
• Ways to find the right support for your family
• All questions welcome!

In a study presented by The Trevor Project, 85% of trans and nobinary youth have mentioned that the recent debates about their lived experience has negatively impacted their mental health. It is important to know and take into consideration that parents are making decisions for their children in a time where systems are displaying conflicting messages. For families raising LGBTQ+ children, political decisions can have major personal impacts. This week's conversation addresses the current political climate and conversations surrounding LGBTQ+ journeys, parents' concerns, and aims to normalize the LGBTQ+ experience.

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on this week's guest Rhodes Perry to share his expertise and perspectives of being a trans person. Rhodes Perry is an award winning social entrepreneur, sought after speaker, podcast host, and a nationally recognized LGBTQ+ thought leader.

What you will learn:

• Each of us establishes a gender identity and sexual orientation

• The importance of developing an antenna to find spaces that are safe

• Ways that cigender and straight people can use their privilege to say no to the negative narrative

• Adults can bear the brunt of the learning and discomfort so that kids don't have to

• There is hope!- from the perspective of a happy, healthy transgender adult

Resources:

• PFLAG National Org https://pflag.org

• The Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org

Welcome to Part 2 of the Sensory Processing and Adoptive Parenting episode. In Part 1, Dr. Laura Anderson shares why your child's sensory needs are important and how to identify sensory processing issues. Part 2 focuses on a deeper dive of how to make this work for you on a daily basis.

Pause for a moment right now and consciously become aware of what you're seeing, hearing, touching, and tasting; what is in the background and how does it make you feel? For most, it is almost unconscious, but for children with unevenly developed sensory systems, they may be experiencing input from the world in ways that are different from your experience, and confusing for you and your children. This can have a major impact on child behavior. Sensory processing issues manifest in restlessness, defiance, eating rigidity, sleep problems, meltdowns, etc.

Dr. Laura shares specific ways you can use your knowledge about sensory issues to get different results with kids and behaviors on a day to day basis

What You Will Learn:

• Using what you learn about sensory issues to connect with your kid

• Ways to see the patterns with your kids' sensory needs

• Prevention is the key to behavioral change

• The importance of understanding the who, what, where, when, and why factors when your kid acts out

• The importance of understanding the who, what, where, when, and why factors when your kid is at their best

• How and why to build sensory activities into your day

• What to do if upset and meltdowns are unavoidable

Resources:

Triggers and Soothers

https://www.drlauraanderson.com/triggers-and-soothers?rq=triggers

Sensory Integration Global Network

https://www.siglobalnetwork.org

Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder

https://out-of-sync-child.com/books/out-of-sync-child/

Making Sense of Sensory Integrations

https://sensoryworld.com/product/making-sense-of-sensory-integration-cd/

Answers to Questions Teachers Ask About Sensory Integrations

https://out-of-sync-child.com/workbooks/answers-to-questions-teachers-ask-about-sensory-integration/

https://www.drlauraanderson.com

This episode poses the question of how central is the adoptee identity to human identity? Are children's struggles adoption related or human related? Dr. Laura Anderson invites guest Simon Benn for a conversation around the lifelong impact of trauma.

Simon Benn was adopted at 5 weeks old and has known this his whole life. It wasn't until 40 years old when he found out that his teddy bear was a gift from his birth mother that he started feeling intense anger about being unloved and not good enough. Simon turned to personal development to find happiness and eventually sold his publishing business to help others. He now is the author of a children's activity book series, Jack Cherry and The Juicer, to share the secret to happiness with children.

What You Will Learn:

• Trauma is thoughts and feelings, not identity

• All of your relationships with others start within yourself

• Feeling wounded does not mean we are wounded

• This too shall pass

Resources:

https://www.simonbenn.co.uk/

• Longevity and personal health is possible
• Buffering yourself against feedback from observers
• Boundaries in resiliency, find the line between you and other people on your team
• Reframe your self talk, this is a critical piece of whether you feel energized or defeated

This week Dr. Laura Anderson continues the conversation on the parental illusion of control by focusing on what is known as the curling or helicopter parent. Curling is that quirky sport in which people rush and brush the ice immediately in front of a swirling stone, in hopes of clearing its path and having it land just where you want it. Curling parenting fosters a sense of dependence within your child. This week Dr. Anderson is joined by Rashid Curtis, her long time friend and girl-dad-to-three-teens. This episode highlights higher level ways to organize your child's time and bring out the best of their interests. Instead, we'll help you transition into using intentional parenting tactics that will help your child grow into the person they have the potential to become.

Rashid is a business strategy consultant and entrepreneur. He specializes in customer and market strategy, by providing business development services to companies in the consumer products, healthcare, life sciences, media and technology industries. Rashid turned his passion for real estate into Triangle Flats, a an investor agency located in Durham, NC. The culmination of twin passions, real estate and entrepreneurship, this small firm assist people acquiring, remodeling, renting and selling investment properties in the Southeastern United States. Rashid lives in Durham, NC with his wife, three children (19, 18 and 12 year old girls) and a labradoodle named Leo.

What You Will Learn:

• Your child needs more time with their peers and less time with their parents

• Foster the ability for your child to learn how to tune into their emotions, their sense of being, and their sense of right from wrong

• How to help your child trust themselves

• When we're doing it for them they don't learn

• The importance of finding self motivation and self interest

Resources:

http://www.linkedin.com/in/rashidcurtis

• Why it is important to BOTH Celebrate the courage of survival AND celebrate learning to trust
• Why it is important to understand the upstairs downstairs brain, and tips for staying regulated so you can build a staircase between the two sections
• How we can help parents wrap their minds around why brain science matters, and how to our kids about it.
• Key concepts for parents to help their children stay regulated

Conversations like these save lives. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jen Hoey to talk about internet safety and to share the experience that launched her into this line of work. This can happen to anyone -- Jen was vigilant in her internet monitoring, and yet her child still found herself in the process of being groomed online. Dr. Laura and Jen dive into the conversations you need to be having, spotting warning signs, and beginning the process of healing.

Jen is a Parent Cyber Safety Consultant and Founder of ‘Not My Kid’. Her mission is to preserve childhood and keep all children safe from online child exploitation by empowering their parents through education. She is a mum of three children and has navigated some negative experiences with her older kids online — the most challenging being her daughter’s exposure to a predator via an online game when she was 9 years old. This provided her with personal insight into some of the challenges both children and parents face today. Jen's passion and primary focus is fighting the epidemic of child exploitation online.

What You Will Learn:

• Something so simple can really destroy a child

• How to talk to your child to foster open communication about online safety

• How to unpack the idea of safe and unsafe secrets

• Preparing children to understand warning signs of danger

• Remind them that you will help them, so they don't stay silent out of fear

• The benefit of having a code word

• Setting up a safety team of trusted adults your child can speak to

Resources:

Website: https://www.notmykid.com.au/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/notmykidever

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notmykid_ever/

With the back to school season upon us, there is a lot of trepidation, fear, dread, and excitement about the return to school. To help mitigate all these feelings, Dr. Laura Anderson has brought on guest Debbie Reber: parenting activist, New York Times bestselling author, keynote speaker, and the founder of TiLT Parenting, a top podcast, community, and educational resource for parents raising differently wired children. Prior to launching TiLT, Debbie spent more than fifteen years writing inspiring books for women and teens.

The majority of kids and families have struggled with the challenges of the covid-19 pandemic. This episode is full of hope and tangible parenting takeaways to help your kids show up fully socially, emotionally, and in learning. Your child's mental well being should be the focus now more than anything. What you will learn:

• The importance of prioritizing your childrens' mental well-being

• Tips to create connection and a secure world for your children

• Ideas for developing a check in plan

• The value of becoming fluent in our kids' verbal and nonverbal language

• Tools for proactive problems solving

Links:

https://www.debbiereber.com/

Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World

Parenting in Place Masterclass series

As a parent, it is your resonsibility to provide your child with the skills to understand and make good decisions about their body and sex. Kids should start learning about their bodies at as young as 5 years old. These conversations may be daunting, but it is important to push through the discomfort to keep your child safe. Expert Amy Lang joins the Real World Parenting podcast this week to provide tips and scripts for parents to use in educating their kiddo about sexual health.

Amy Lang, MA has been a sexual health educator for over 25 years. Surprised by her discomfort with just the idea of talking with her young son about his body, she knew she needed help. Amy did a bunch of research to learn how to talk with kids about bodies and sexuality and realized she could help other parents with this important part of parenting. In 2006 she started Birds & Bees & Kids. With her lively, engaging, and down-to-earth style she helps parents become comfortable and confident talking with their kids. Amy’s books, online solutions center, and podcast called “Just Say This”,show parents they really can become their kids' go-to birds and bees source.

What You Will Learn:

• When should you start the conversation on sexual health with your child

• What should you start with? What to say and how to say it.

• Push through the discomfort

• Showing your children what a healthy relationship looks like

• Avoiding language that leads to shame

Resources:

www.birdsandbeesandkids.com

15% discount for The Birds and Bees Solutions Center for Parents Purchase Amy’s new book, “Sex Talks With Tweens - What to Say & How to Say It!”

With the holiday season in full gear, you may notice a spotlight on shifting expectations and dysregulated behaviors. This time can be a reminder of loss, grief and the complex mixed feelings for many adoptees. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Mike Berry to share tools you can use to navigate this stressful time of year.

Mike Berry is the Co-CEO and Co-Founder of Honestly Adoption, a virtual support, resource, and training site for foster and adoptive families. The Honestly Adoption Company is fiercely committed to helping parents gain insight into their child, change their parenting approach, and in turn, transform their family. They believe strongly in highlighting and spotlighting voices from the entire adoption triad. Mike and his wife Kristen have built this amazing network that has been voted in the Top 5 out of 100 best adoption blogs on earth 5 years in a row by Healthline.com and Feedspot.

What You Will Learn:

• Become aware that this may be a difficult season for your child

• Continue to look beneath behaviors for feelings driving behavior

• To notice your own expectations and how those impact family regulation

• Be mindful of overstimulation

• How trauma history can dictate your child's behavior

• Soothing and regulation tools for the holiday time

Resources: https://honestlyadoption.com

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/honestly-adoption-mike-berry/1129825395

https://www.facebook.com/honestlyadoption/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeberrywriting/

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Beth Wheeler for a long overdue conversation. The two join together in discussing whiteness and the anti-racist work that we, as White people, need to be doing. Dr. Laura and Beth identify the common roadblocks people face in their anti-racist work and what keeps White people from speaking up. This episode will give you the tools you need to move forward on your own so that the burden doesn't fall upon People of Color.

Dr. Laura and Beth offer specific strategies for staying in the work even when it is uncomfortable, and hope today will help you in your journey.

Beth Wheeler (she/her/hers) is a psychotherapist, educator, networker, and advocate who works to promote equity and inclusion with diverse populations in all areas of her work. A Clinical Social Worker trained also in bodywork, Beth’s understanding of trauma and resilience inform both her private practice with adults and her Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging work in organizations. Beth identifies as a white, cis-gender, queer/lesbian, middle-class, able-bodied woman. She is also co-raising her two black domestically adopted sons (15 and 12), with her ex-wife.

What You Will Learn:

• What it means to be White and how that shapes the way we think about race and racism

• Which feelings keep White people from working to be anti-racist and what we can do about them

• How White people can support other White people in doing the work

• How we define White supremacy, and why language matters

• When to ask for help if you are a White person raising children of color

Resources:

Beth Wheeler

https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-wheeler-aa0b5ba/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/beth-wheeler-silver-spring-md/445743

Janet Helms

https://www.apa.org/members/content/race-mechanisms-inequality

SURJ Showing up to Racial Justice

https://surj.org

This week's episode focuses on the period of development in children from ages 11 to 14: the tween years. During this age, the human brain goes through as much growth and change as it does between 0 and 3. Children start exploring their new feelings of independence and begin to clarify distinct aspects of who they are, and will become. This week Dr. Laura Anderson is excited to bring on a really talented clinician and dear friend, Dr. Annie Chung. Dr. Chung has more than twenty years' experience working primarily with tweens. The two talk about the concept of an emotional piggy bank, setting a framework for your child, and how to stay positive when going through challenges and periods of high emotion.

Dr. Annie Chung is a Hawaii Licensed Psychologist with over 20 years of experience. Her specialty lies in promoting healthy parental/family/adolescent functioning and focus on women's issues utilizing patient-centered and solution-focused approaches in psychotherapy.

What You Will Learn:

• Children need their parents "less", but also differently

• How to make deposits to your child's emotional piggy bank based on who they are instead of their accomplishments

• Separation is healthy to help your child learn values, problem solving, and life skills

• Understand the brain and body are changing rapidly

• Practice active listening

• Remember that they need boundaries even when they tell you they don't

• Ask open-ended questions

• Build a bridge to them.. keep crossing back and forth and invite them to do the same

Gender identity is a complex web, and the world of gender is a beautiful place to learn to expand your own limitations and automatic thinking. Join Dr. Laura for part 2 of this conversation where she dives deeper into gender, kids, and pronouns.

The likelihood of raising a child who is gender expansive is the same as raising a child who is left handed. Children need to be able to explore themselves and their gender, regardless of how they identify themselves. The safest thing you can do is to learn with them. In this episode, Dr. Laura shares tools for parents to create a safe space for their children that allows them to explore their identity.

What You Will Learn?

• How to build trust between you and your child so they feel safe

• Dealing with your fear of the unknown challenges ahead

• You can not create a gender expansive identity in a child who is not on the spectrum as it were

• Your child needs you in this journey

Self care is more than just a massage. Many overlook the full spectrum of prioritizing and taking care of yourself. It's time to debunk the myth that true self-care is selfish – in reality, prioritizing ourselves is essential for survival, and benefits everyone around us. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Suzanne Soliman to Real World Parenting to explore practical, tangible steps for achieving balance, the normalcy of feeling guilty, and how you can practice setting healthy boundaries.

Suzanne Soliman is a Board Certified Pharmacist, Professor / Author, andMedia Host and Contributor. Suzy founded the Pharmacist Moms Group which is the largest organization of pharmacists in the United States. Suzy has over 100 publications and presents nationally on pharmacy, parenting and women issues.

What You Will Learn:

• Practicing preventative care
• Creating schedules are important
• Self care is survivalist
• Learning to say no and feeling guilty is normal
• The importance of setting boundaries
• It is healthy for our children to see us more balanced

https://www.drsuzannesoliman.com

https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesoliman/

All behavior comes from the brain. I used to think that was reductionist. But in this episode we talk about trauma, attachment loss, the brain and the connection between these things and behavior. If we don't understand trauma and brain science, many children and parents experience blame, shame and failure. In reality, many trauma responses and challenging behaviors are a sign of growth.

Superheroes are born from adversity. Villain stories are often similar, but with no safety provided along the way. The more we understand our brains and our children's brains, the more we can help them to grow into the super humans they are capable of becoming.This week, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH to share tips for parents to use to help both themselves and their children work through the hard stuff. You have to believe there is hope in this approach to try it, and you have to try this approach to believe it.

Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. She is living this out as a licensed mental health counselor & supervisor, bilingual author, and dynamic presenter. Since she loathes the dry, adult language found in many “therapy books,” she crafted the RILEY THE BRAVE series to be books that children and parents can’t wait to read and re-read.

What You Will Learn:

• Why it is important to BOTH Celebrate the courage of survival AND celebrate learning to trust

• Why it is important to understand the upstairs downstairs brain, and tips for staying regulated so you can build a staircase between the two sections

• How we can help parents wrap their minds around why brain science matters, and how to our kids about it.

• Key concepts for parents to help their children stay regulated

Resources:

www.RileyTheBrave.org

https://bravebrains.com

This week's guest is Author and Training Specialist at the Center for Adoption Support and Education, Tony Hynes. Dr. Laura and Tony share a conversation on his experience as an adoptee with two mothers and existing in the space in between, often referred to dueling loyalty. Growing up in this unique circumstance, sometimes it is easy to focus only on one side of the coin when it comes to the challenges and the joys. Tony shares his perspective of the full picture in this episode where he pulls from his background to share tools to better equip you in connecting your child to their racial background.Tony was adopted by his parents Mary and Janet in the mid-1990s. In his memoir, "The Son With Two Moms," he writes about his experiences growing up as both an interracial adoptee and as a child growing up in a same sex headed household. Today, Tony is an advocate for families like his, having served on the Board of Directors for organizations that serve to highlight adoptive families from diverse upbringings. He also has been invited to be a speaker at conferences on adoption and foster care throughout the nation, especially those involving interracial placements. Tony completed his master’s thesis in Sociology on the psychology of children within the same sex headed household, and has now begun begin his PhD studies in Language, Literacy, and Culture. In his time as Training Specialist at the Center for Adoption Support and Education, Tony has designed innovative training curricula that help families and professionals respond to evaluation and assessment tools that encapsulate holistic pictures of adoptees and foster youth.

What You Will Learn:

• What is dueling loyalty

• How it feels to be "the only" in the room

• The importance of frank conversations and making an effort daily

• The facets of the internal struggle your child may be experiencing

Resources:

CASE - Center Adoption Support and Education

Hynes@Adoptionsupport.org

https://adoptionsupport.org/staff/anthony-hynes/

Training for Adoption Competency (TAC)

https://adoptionsupport.org/adoption-competency-initiatives/training-for-adoption-competency-tac/

Tony on Instagram @tony_hy

Additional Adoptee Voices on Instagram

@adoptee_thoughts

@isaac_etter

@hannahjacksonmatthews

@nicolesjchung

• Labels can provide relief
• Labels don't define you, it is just one component of many
• If we don't learn these skills when we're kids then it is incumbent upon us to learn and unlearn as adults
• How this may affect cortisol levels
• Understanding that minority stress and being picked on for being different impacts children in many ways
• Peer interactions are critical to functioning both short and long term
• Maintaining connection with your kiddo

This week Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jessica Secrest back to Real World Parenting to discuss a topic close to their hearts: nurturing body positivity in children. Together they explore ways to encourage empathy and be mindful of language and non-verbal cues that shape your children's self-image. Explore how to initiate these important conversations with your kids, emphasizing respect and kindness for the bodies they have. Tune in for an insightful discussion on promoting a positive body image. What You Will Learn:

• Don't comment on your body in front of your children
• Be mindful about the words you use, your facial expressions, heavy sighs, etc
• Set a good example by complimenting yourself
• you don't get to chose the body you have - you get one, treat it well
• How to be kind to our bodies
• Encourage empathy because you can't know everyone's situation
• Find a different way to reward children that isn't food
• This is a conversation relevant for both boys and girls

This episode focuses on learning preparedness as we navigate the next phase of covid in schools. Our kids are not used to what the everyday classroom environment looks like without the safety protocols. It has been a couple years and in a kid's world, that is a long time. Dr. Laura Anderson Invites on full time teacher, Aimee Buckley, to share her tools so your child can thrive in the classroom.

Aimee is an experienced Special Education Teacher with a demonstrated history of success working in education. She is skilled in Coaching, Leadership, Training, and Research. In addition to being a full time teacher, Aimee is the CEO + CAO of Study Help Inc. a tutoring platform that connects credential teachers with families looking for extra academic help. Study Help is the only tutoring service powered by experienced school teachers.

What Your Will Learn:

• The importance of keeping open lines of communication with your child's teacher

• How to set parameters around phone time

• How the increased use of technology has impacted children in the classroom

• What questions should parents ask their kids and the schools during this time

Resources:

https://study.help

• Girls and masking
• Strengths of those on spectrum, so we are not just deficit focused
• Understanding the overwhelm and emotional intensity
• Understanding the diagnosis makes all the difference
• A diagnosis allows children the ability to advocate for themselves
• Keeping an open mind
• How understanding allows you to navigate and soothe better

Very often we're afraid we're going to say something wrong- therefore we say nothing at all. We forget that silence leaves an impact too. In this episode of Real World Parenting, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on the esteemed Beth Hall to share her expertise on having concrete conversations about race with your transracially adoptive child.

Beth Hall is an adoption educator who co-founded Pact, An Adoption Alliance, which is a multicultural anti-racist adoption organization dedicated to addressing essential issues affecting adopted children of color. Pact offers lifelong support and placement services for birth and adoptive families with adopted kids of color.

Beth is committed to serving children first. She began this journey in 1991 to combat the discrimination she witnessed against adopted children of color and their birth families. She authors numerous articles and lectures across the country. What You Will Learn:

• How to be anti-racist

• Ways to build trust with your children

• Tips for a lifelong journey to promote connection

• How to talk with (not to) your child

• Finding a healthy balance

• The importance of entering black and brown space sensitively

Links:

https://www.pactadopt.org/

I love podcasting and the platform we've built with Real World Parenting. I could do this all day every day. That being said, this year I'm focusing my energy on my practice and on doing national and international trainings.

You can find more in the meantime on my blog, newsletter, and online courses.

I truly appreciate your ongoing support, and I'm eager to reconnect with you for a fresh and empowering podcast in the future.

www.drlauraanderson.com

https://drlsanderson.thinkific.com

Grief is a topic people don't want to talk about or think about because the death of a child is unthinkable. Parents who are grieving often struggle connecting with others in their time of need as people are afraid to have these conversations. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Heidi Low onto the podcast today to create a space for aunts, friends, clinicians, and those surrounding people who have experienced unthinkable loss and how they can support parents.

Heidi Low is the founder of ‘Ohana Oasis, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to empower bereaved parents to live a life of joy and purpose. She began the organization in 2013, nine years after the death of her daughter, Alison Belle, to a brain tumor at the age of five.

What You Will Learn:

• Operating from a place of fear is not helpful

• It is better to say the wrong thing than to say nothing at all

• Stop and think about what you're saying and how it would land if you were in this position

• Don't make the parent do the work

• Scripts for what to say when

Neurodiversity refers to the idea that there are all kinds of brains and celebrating neurodiversity encourages us to move away from pathologizing the way that different people learn and think. I urge you to challenge the beliefs we have about the status quo. Emily Kircher-Morris, LPC joins Dr. Laura today for a conversation on the many sides to neurodivergence and how supporting children in this may require a change in perspective. They cover the importance of the affirmation of neurodiversity, teaching your child to advocate for themselves, and staying curious.

Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.Ed., LPC, inspired by her own experiences as a neurodivergent person, is dedicated to destigmatizing neurodiversity and supporting neurodivergent people of all ages. She started her career in education and is now in private practice near St. Louis, Missouri as a licensed professional counselor, where she specializes in supporting neurodivergent kids and adults (and their families).

What You Will Learn:

• How to affirm and support neurodivergent teens

• How neurodivergence can result in anxiety

• How accommodations can impact a neurodivergent person

• There are ways to connect around this that help everyone feel successful

• Supporting teens in reclaiming and embracing those identities

Resources: https://neurodiversitypodcast.com/Neurodiversity Universitywww.neurodiversity.universityTeaching Twice-Exceptional Learners in Today’s Classroomhttps://www.freespirit.com/teaching-strategies-and-professional-development/teaching-twice-exceptional-learners-in-todays-classroom-emily-kircher-morris-2e-learnersRaising Twice-Exceptional Children: A Handbook for Parents of Neurodivergent Gifted Kidshttps://www.routledge.com/Raising-Twice-Exceptional-Children-A-Handbook-for-Parents-of-Neurodivergent/Kircher-Morris/p/book/9781646322145

Recognizing autism in girls can be tricky. Experience in offices and schools tells us that young girls with an autism diagnosis may present with a different profile than boys with an autism diagnosis. This week Dr. Laura invites Marcia Eckerd for a conversation on what confuses parents & clinicians about what autism may look like in girls, and how related behaviors are often misunderstood. This episode highlights the harm that can be done when girls do not get the support and understanding that they need.

Marcia diagnoses and helps autistic individuals with self acceptance as neurodivergent, as well as help them navigate achieving their goals. She has worked with autistic individuals as a licensed psychologist for 30 years. In Marcia's therapy, evaluations, writing, speaking and advocacy I seek to improve the understanding, inclusion and respect for those who are autistic. She was appointed to the CT ASD Advisory Council and serves on the Clinical Advisory Group of the Asperger’s Autism Network (AANE.org), a nationally recognized resource for autism services and education. She is also on the Board of Directors of NeuroClastic.org, an autistic nonprofit that provides education, opportunities, and resources for autistic individuals.

What You Will Learn:

• Autism in girls and boys looks different

• 1 in 44 kids are autistic, according to the CDC

• What is helpful and not helpful about having a label of autism

• Why the idea of ableism can be harmful

• What to look for if you think your daughter may have an autism diagnosis

Resources:https://www.marciaeckerd.comPsychology Today: Are we giving autistic children PTSD in school

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-neurodiversity/202108/are-we-giving-autistic-children-ptsd-school?amp

Journal of National Register of Psychology: Identifying Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1) In Adults Detection and Diagnosis Of Autism In Females

Tune in for a heartfelt account of navigating the complex emotions of sadness, joy, and overwhelming feelings that come with adoption. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Kaitlyn Moreau Thibodeaux on to share her experience in adopting a child and what she has learned along the way. Learn about the importance of making space for both the challenges and joys, and why embracing the full spectrum of emotions is crucial in serving your child in the best way possible.

What You Will Learn:

• The effects of going viral
• Sitting with the scope of real experiences people share in the comments
• Do not avoid the hard parts, so there is room for the good parts
• Adoption is both painful and beautiful

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaitlynmoreau2

In this episode, Dr. Laura Anderson and Rhoda Bangerter tackle how to thrive as a family when one partner is away a lot. They explore how to maintain strong parent-child relationships, teaching children to manage big emotions, and ways to reduce overwhelm.Rhoda Bangerter is a certified coach, a Speaker and the Author of “Holding the Fort Abroad”. Her husband has travelled for work their whole marriage and along the way, she realised the huge number of moms and dads around the world who experience the same challenges but with no resources to guide them through this journey. This led her to run extensive research, share her learnings through the book, Holding The Ford Abroad, and develop her services to support solo parents in long distance relationships or with travelling partners.What You Will Learn:

• What could chip away at a parent child relationship

• Having a support system because your children are not your emotional support

• Strengths that can emerge from this experience

• The Dr. Ken Canfield model - I can, intentional and consistent involvement

If you notice signs of self-injury in your teen, this episode is an invitation not to look the other way and hope it goes away- but to understand that it needs to be explored. This is not meant to replace reaching out for help. If your child is harming themselves, it is important to get help.

There is no one formula for what this behavior looks like, but Dr. Laura talks through various signs to look out for, language to use when talking to your child, and how you can help kids identify and cope with intense feelings.

What You Will Learn:

• Not all harm is para-s*icidal

• Self-injury can stem from one of a combination of depression, anxiety, and stress

• All bodies deserve care

• What is the process if you have noticed signs of self-injury

Resources:

https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/calm-harm/id961611581

This week Dr. Laura Anderson shares part 1 of her 2 part episode on sensory processing. Sensory processing refers to the way our bodies take in, and sort, the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches in the world around us.

Dr. Anderson has seen daily lives in families change dramatically when parents understand sensory processing issues, and the way they impact a child's behavior. These episodes are the "How To" in helping families understand how to use knowledge about their kids' sensory needs to make daily routines easier and keep everyone in the family more regulated. Ultimately, the goal is for parents to stay connected to their kids while working toward greater family understanding, more kid "success", and behavioral change.

Stay tuned for Part 2 where Dr. Laura will delve into how you can apply this to daily life.

What You Will Learn:

• Why the sensory "stuff" matters in day to day life.

• Ways to tell if behaviors are sensory related (or not).

• Some thoughts about why children in adoptive families may have distinct sensory needs.

• How the dance of attachment impacts, and is impacted by, the sensory system.

First time parents are faced with the obstacle of navigating not only what parenting styles work for them and their child, but also the feedback they receive from their parents and peers. Often, parents will find themselves actively straying from the path their parents took. It is easy to revert back to what you know even if you have the intention of breaking the cycle. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites guest Erica Cruz to the Real World Parenting podcast to share her experience raising her children in a different way from how she was parented and the tools she used to keep herself on course. her perspective using the Waldorf and RIE methods. Dr. Laura and Erica discuss the Waldorf and RIE methods, finding and staying true to your values in parenting, and being mindful of the pendulum swing.

Erica Orosco Cruz is an early childhood development expert and parent coach who helps children, families, and teachers thrive and grow together on the foundation of mutual respect. She is certified through RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) and is also trained in the Waldorf methods. Erica’s passion for supporting families stems from her own experience as a mother of 4 boys (ranging in ages from 1 to 25!), and a daughter who set out to parent in a different way than she was as a child. While raising her children, she searched to find a program that brought children to the forefront while also providing clear boundaries for mutual respect; a program where children would be seen and heard and where adults would see with new eyes and listen for what was unsaid. When she realized what she was looking for didn’t exist, she founded Homeschool Garden, a now two decade old early childhood development center in Los Angeles.

What You Will Learn:

• How to navigate when the way you are parenting is different from how you were parented and how to stand confidently in that (while also being flexible)

• How to navigate when the way you are parenting is different from your cultural/ethnic norms

• Finding a middle ground that works for you and your children

• What are the Waldorf and RIE methods

• Finding the "sweet spot" of setting boundaries, but also allowing your kids agency

• The arts are as important as reading and writing

• The importance of staying the course in the presence of overwhelming feedback

• Modeling behaviors and respect

• Do not wait for your child to start the conversation, find age appropriate ways to talk to your child about adoption - truthfully and sensitively
• How public are you making this information about adoption?
• How to celebrate anniversaries
• Find adoptee voices

• You can redo, rebuild and repair any 'mistakes'
• How to celebrate the invitation to expand limited boxes in our minds
• How to use the "switch it" technique to help you frame whether or not your language or question is respectful
• Using they as a singular pronoun
• How to practice pronouns

This week on the Real World Parenting podcast, Dr. Laura Anderson continues her conversation from last episode with Mark Hagland on intersecting identities of being LGBTQ+ and a transracial adoptee.

Mark Hagland shares how learning about and engaging with the complexities in his identity have deepened his thoughtfulness, compassion, and vision. He explains the phrase he coined, "Don't tragedize your child's narrative."

Mark was born in South Korea in 1960 and adopted as an infant by white parents of Norwegian and German descent, and grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He is a professional business journalist and lives in Chicago. He has participated in in-person and online forums around transracial adoption for over 20 years, and has spoken publicly about issues around transracial adoption in numerous settings, both in the United States and in Europe.

What You Will Learn:

• The importance of teaching your child how to navigate their mindspace

• The harm that is done when you tragedize your child's narrative

• That identity complexity makes life richer

• Why it is critical to center the experiences of adoptees

Resources:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/TRA101

www.markhaglandbook.com

Often the more responsibility we have the less we take care of ourselves. This week Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Dr. Rachel Mitchum Elahee. Dr. Rachel operates from the philosophy that no matter what we have going on we must take care of ourselves. Self care looks different for everyone, but this episode is all about figuring out what self care means to you and how to build these practices into your life. Come laugh and grimace with Drs. Laura and Rachel about how letting go of the illusion of control in parenting is a great way to practice self-care.

Dr. Rachel is a Licensed Psychologist, Certified Diversity Practitioner, Certified Professional Coach, and Author of Choose You! As an entrepreneur, wife and mother of four, she has developed a keen passion for supporting busy women leading busy lives. inspires women with the practical and tangible skills necessary to achieve greater life satisfaction, professional productivity and ultimately, a peace of mind. She believes that in order to excel in their careers, women must first excel in their personal lives.

What You Will Learn:

• How the illusion of control in parenting is a huge source of stress

• Ways to foster independence & strong skill sets in your child

• Ideas for setting boundaries in your self care practices

• Reminders to find an accountability partner who has your best interest at heart

• That the most common source of pushback is from yourself

• Tips to reignite your passion for life

Resources:

https://www.amazon.com/Choose-You-Reignite-Passion-2014-12-04/dp/B01K3RH65Q