Pillow Talks (Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE)

In-laws are tricky. Holidays are tricky. Put them together and you've got some truly stressful situations. In this episode we are once again going 'advice column-style' to help some of our audience members sort out their frustrations. We're talking a lot about boundaries and communication, and even if you have typically stress-free holidays, this episode is definitely entertaining.   Links & Resources: Love Languages Videos   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode27 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we revealed in Episode 37 that we’re child free by choice, it became the most popular episode in Pillow Talks’ history, hands down. Talking about it publicly was challenging, emotional, and the most intimate we’ve ever been with our audience… until now.   After listening to the episode, so many of you reached out to share that you’re struggling with whether or not to have kids. You’re having a hard time identifying your own desires under all the layers of pressure and expectation. In this episode, you’ll find a roadmap to guide you through this weighty, personal decision process, along with some great advice from those in our audience who have been on either side of the fence. Whichever way you go, we’re here to help make sure it’s the right choice for YOU.   Links & Resources: Sex Talks Episode 37 - The Truth About Why We’re Child Free   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off site wide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode88 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you want a higher sex drive? Bet you said, “yes!” without thinking twice. 74% of our Instagram audience did. Most of us feel self-conscious about how rarely we desire sex, and believe that we’re supposed to have a stronger libido.   But if you’re really honest with yourself, do you truly want more desire? Only 8% of our Instagram audience said they’d do whatever it takes to have a higher sex drive. And we’ve found that whenever we offer sex drive resources to our community, very few people actually use them. (This episode contains a fascinating sneak peek at one of the biggest flops in our business!)   So what’s going on here? In this episode, we dive deep into the sex drive disconnect so many of us are struggling with. We’ll bust some of the biggest - and most damaging - sex drive myths, and give you the honest truth about libido. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of what you truly want, and a clear path on how to get there.   Links & Resources: Rediscovering Desire Sex Drive Types Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse Butt Stuff Better, Hotter, More Episode 73: Do You Ever Owe Sex To Your Partner Survivor’s Guide   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   You can go to JULIECARE.CO to learn more or find Julie at your nearest Walmart today.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode76 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies, but most of us feel completely clueless about how to actually make them happen! In today’s episode, we walk you through how to have your first one, and share some hot, hilarious, awkward, and horrible stories about other peoples’ threesomes. If you’ve ever wanted to have a threesome or just want to hear about others’ experiences, you’re in for a treat! Links & Resources: Courses & Guides If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You love your partner, for better or worse, but there’s just that THING that gets under your skin.   Maybe it’s something they say all the time, maybe it’s a bad habit that they refuse to address, or something bigger like house duties.   Whatever it is, you just can’t seem to “get over it” and you have found yourself wondering, “Am I being unreasonable?”   We reached out to our Instagram audience for their biggest pet peeves and frustrations, and damn did you guys have some good ones! In this episode, we’ll help you uncover possible missing perspectives, give advice on how to move forward, and even validate some the worries because spoiler alert: so many of these are not as unreasonable as you would think!   Links & Resources: Episode 46: The Hygiene Episode: What To Do If Your Partner Isn’t Taking Care Of Themselves Mental Load Workbook   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode75 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever had a frustrating situation with a partner that left you wondering, “Is this your problem to fix? Or mine?” Whether it’s disagreeing on parenting choices or your partner having a fetish that you’re not into yourself, it’s completely normal to be confused about who needs to make a change. Today we’re bringing back “Is This Your Shit Or Mine?” for part 2. Get ready for some fascinating stories from other couples and our best advice for how to move forward! Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Thanks Chewy. Save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com/PILLOWS Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we're talking about how to cut through the shame, awkwardness and embarrassment that we've been taught to have when talking about sex; specifically when it comes to talking to your kids.   Links & Resources: Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame YouTube — The Ultimate Guide to Talk to Your Kids About Sex   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Has your partner ever done a task so poorly or asked you so many questions that you finally just said “fine, I’ll do it myself!”? This is called weaponized incompetence, and while your partner may not mean for it to be, it can be harmful in a relationship. In this episode we’re going to talk about how to identify weaponized incompetence, how it shows up in OUR relationship, and what to do if you or your partner are doing this.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode35 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is there something your partner does in the bedroom that you’re not sure you should put up with? This episode was inspired by a message we got from a woman whose husband wears headphones and listens to podcasts while they have sex. She wanted to know if it was OK for her to be upset by this behavior. Minds blown, we turned to Instagram to ask people what other confusing or unusual behaviors they were putting up with. In this shocking (and honestly pretty unhinged) episode, we’ll give you our hot takes on what you should and shouldn’t put up with. Links & Resources: Guide: Dirty Talk 101 Thanks Zocdoc.Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Horoscope Weekly. New episodes release every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for “Horoscope Weekly with Aliza Kelly”. Thanks Flure. Check out the Flure Dating App at www.flure.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What makes anal play so great anyway and why are people so intimidated by it? Well, we're answering those questions and talking about how to break through some of the objections surrounding this topic.  Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode23 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Xander got a vasectomy!   By popular demand, we’re walking you through the entire process - how and why we decided to go this route, finding the right doctor, the procedure itself (including the truth about how painful it really was…), aftercare, and so much more.   We also share some hilarious details about preparing for the procedure (including some truly bizarre pictures), Xander’s rant for the haters, and the post-procedure test that had Xander PANICKING!   If you’ve ever wanted the inside scoop on vasectomies, this is an episode you won't want to miss.   And stay tuned for part 2, where we’ll answer all of your burning questions about the procedure.   Links & Resources: Check out our website (https://vmtherapy.com)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (https://www.greenchef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Love it or hate it, 69 is one of the most infamous sex acts. We just had to give it it’s own episode, especially since today is also 6/9.   We’re sharing how we really feel about 69, plus 6.9 amazing tips for having the most fun in this position. You also do not want to miss the hilarious stories our audience shared with us!   But that’s not all! It’s also the 1 year anniversary of the Pillow Talks Podcast! We asked you for your favorite moments and jokes from the year, and we’re sharing some of your answers. It’s a really fun walk down memory lane!   Links & Resources: Online Courses & Guides   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode55 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you’re like many people, hygiene seems pretty basic. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant, what’s so hard about that?   So you may find yourself confused about why your partner can’t seem to take good care of themselves.   How can your partner expect you to want to kiss them, have sex with them, or even be attracted to them in the first place if they haven’t kept up basic hygiene habits?   In today’s episode, we’re tackling the topic you’ve been dying for us to address: your partner’s hygiene - or lack thereof.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode46 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get ready for the highly anticipated sequel to one of our most popular episodes yet! Back in Episode 91 we asked the age-old question, “Is This Normal?” We're back to deliver another round of jaw-dropping, mind-boggling, and side-splitting revelations in our second installment.   You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal to resent my husband after having a baby? Is it normal that I started masturbating at age five? Is it normal for a man to need assistance to get hard? Is it normal being bored AF with partnered sex? And so much more!   Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod your head in recognition as we address your questions head-on!   Links & Resources: Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)  Guide:  Rediscovering Desire (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/rediscovering-desire/)  Guide:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)  Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)  Our Book: Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/PILLOW (http://StoryWorth.com/PILLOW).   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode105 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your partner say you’re lazy during sex?   In this episode, we’re breaking down the specific things you’re doing that your partner thinks are lazy, the consequences of bedroom laziness, and the surprising reasons why you’re not putting in more effort.   Most importantly, we’ll walk you through our step-by-step process to stop being lazy and start having more fun in the bedroom!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (https://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Cowgirl is one of the most empowering positions in the bedroom—so why do so many of us avoid it? 🤠 If you’ve ever felt awkward, unsure, or just plain tired when trying Cowgirl, this episode is for you! We’re breaking down everything you need to know to master this position with confidence—from why it’s one of the best for pleasure to how to move in a way that feels amazing (and doesn’t leave your thighs burning after 30 seconds). Get ready for expert-backed tips, tricks, and techniques that’ll help you feel like a total badass on top. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ Why Cowgirl is the #1 position for female pleasure ✅ How to actually move (hint: forget what you’ve seen in porn) ✅ Confidence-boosting tricks if you feel awkward or self-conscious ✅ How to last longer without getting tired ✅ Fun variations like Captain Morgan Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, and more ✅ How to transition in and out of the position seamlessly If you've ever wanted to feel sexy, confident, and in control while on top, this episode is a must-listen! Links & Resources: Ready to stop settling for ‘good enough’? ➡︎ http://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex/?ref=podcast-195&utm_term=podcast-195 Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎ https://shop.vmtherapy.com/your-best-week-ever/?ref=podcast-195&utm_term=podcast-195 Treat Your Partner to the Best F0replay they've ever had: https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/?ref=podcast-195&utm_term=podcast-195 Check out our NYT best selling book Sex Talks: ➡︎ https://sextalksbook.com/?ref=podcast-195&utm_term=podcast-195 Connect with us! 👋 Instagram ➡︎ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Our VIP Email list: ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co. Thanks Cure. Stay hydrated and feel your best! Visit curehydration.com/PILLOW to get 20% off your first order. Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. Thanks Hungryroot. That’s Hungryroot.com/pillow, to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? We recently made a TikTok about this term that Vanessa created, and 8 million people watched! The Bristle Reaction is when your partner comes in for a hug or a kiss, and you feel yourself recoil. No matter how much you love your partner, there are times when their touch can immediately create a sense of tension.   We polled our Instagram audience and found out 84% of people have experienced The Bristle Reaction. Even though it’s so common, most people have no idea what to do about it. In fact, that’s been the main comment on our viral TikTok: “How do we fix it?”   So strap in, because we’ve got what you need! We go through the 3 major reasons why The Bristle Reaction happens, and 6 ways to overcome it. If you’re ready to start enjoying your partner’s touch again, this episode is a must-listen!   Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/)  Guide:  Initiation 101 (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/initiation101/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/pillow60 (http://GreenChef.com/pillow60) and use code pillow60 to get 60% off plus free shipping.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode99 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you hear the word 'needy', it's probably the last thing you would ever want to be described as; being needy is so steeped in shame! Today we're going to talk about what neediness is - and what it isn't - and some genuinely helpful tools for addressing neediness. Links & Resources: Simple Daily Check In (Free Guide)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes here: vmtherapy.com/episode25 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Want to unlock the secrets to great pregnancy sex? We know, your body feels alien to you, your hormones are all over the place, and somehow all the things that used to work in the bedroom just don’t feel the same anymore. But don’t worry, it’s still possible to keep the fires burning while pregnant.   We’re here to guide you through the most common challenges couples face during this extraordinary journey. We’re talking about things like body image issues, fears of hurting the baby, and libido changes.   Grab your partner and tune in together, because this episode will leave you feeling ready to reconnect!   Links & Resources: Challenge:  The Sex Challenge (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/30-day-sex-challenge-vol-2-cs/)  Course:  Art Of initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)  Course:  Next level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)  Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)  Masterclass:  Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/byslbtl-2/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to drinkAG1.com/PILLOW (http://drinkAG1.com/PILLOW) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode113 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you want more physical intimacy in your relationship? In this episode, we’re talking about different kinds of physical intimacy, why it’s so important, how to ask your partner for more, and what to do if you’re worried they won’t understand. Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet Or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order. Thanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your partner wants you to flirt with them more! But the majority of us feel like we don’t know HOW to flirt. It feels awkward or cheesy... Or we don’t know what our partner will actually like. Get your notebooks out because today we’re going to teach you how to flirt with your partner! We’ll cover why flirting is so important in long-term relationships, how to get over your resistance to it, and dozens of specific examples of how to flirt. Pro-tip: this is a fantastic episode to listen to with your partner! Links & Resources: Art Of Initiation Dirty Talk 101 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Compliments. They sound like such a small act but they can make such a huge difference in the intimacy of your relationship.   But for most couples, compliments are surprisingly hard to come by! Maybe you’ve never been good at receiving them, so now your partner doesn’t feel it’s worth the effort. Maybe your family never gave compliments when you were growing up, so you’re uncomfortable with them. Or maybe you’ve simply forgotten how sweet they can be!   We’re here to help you figure out what your partner wants to hear, and how to move past the blockages that leave you tongue tied. Our tips will create little moments of happiness and gratitude in your relationship, and remind you what you love about each other. This compliment roadmap is also the perfect soundtrack to play in the background, allowing your partner to "accidentally" overhear our tips.   Warning: this episode can cause butterflies, excessive kisses, and possible trips to the nearest bedroom.   Links & Resources: Course:  The Connection Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/connection/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/pillow50 and use code pillow50 to get 50% off plus free shipping. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode112 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever found yourself feeling attracted to someone else despite being in a committed monogamous relationship? Maybe someone cute you saw at the gym. Or a college. Or even your partner’s best friend?? Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one. Today we’re digging into real stories from our community about times they were attracted to someone else, and giving our best advice on how to handle attraction to other people while in a relationship. Links & Resources: Free Guide: 20 Great Compliments To Give Your Partner Subscribe here Instagram: @vanessaandxander Thanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals! Thanks Marimur. Visit MARIEMUR.com and use the promo code ‘PILLOW’ for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Foreplay? More like the BEST way! Today we’re talking about the part of sex that never gets the credit it deserves - foreplay!   Foreplay is the number one way to get your partner to orgasm, and one of the best ways to create more intimacy, connection, and excitement. With all those benefits, why aren’t we doing it more often? 88% of men and 59% of women say they want more! But 67% of women feel like they’re “too needy” for wanting foreplay, 56% say they struggle to receive it, and 62% say foreplay feels boring or awkward. With numbers like that, we know you can relate!   In today’s episode, we lay out the 5 things we’re all getting wrong about foreplay, how to have more, and how to make it better than ever.   Links & Resources: Guide:  The Ultimate Foreplay Guides (http://vmtherapy.com/foreplay/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode118 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Full transparency: we didn’t know if we were going to release this episode. We’re talking about everything from how we processed the chaos that is the holidays to whether we upheld our “Holiday Classic” sex pact.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode33 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Has your partner ever done or said something painful, leaving you wondering, “Can we come back from this?” Sometimes you need an outside party to either guide you and your partner through moving past the hurt, or to validate that the relationship can’t survive the blow.   Prepare yourself to hear some pretty spicy takes as we examine each situation and get real about when to talk it out, when to just plain walk, and how to know the difference. Because while we fully support communication and forgiveness, we also advocate the enforcement of boundaries, intention, and respect.   Tune in to the episode, then meet us over on IG and let us know if you agree with our advice or have your own hot take!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription. Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode114 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whenever we ask parents what gets in the way of intimacy after kids, the most frequent answer we hear is time. As a parent, everything becomes about the kids, and it feels like there’s no space or energy for intimacy. But your partner and the love you share are special, and deserve your time. So let’s talk about how to create that. We asked the parents in our audience to share their best advice for other parents, and we've prepared a buffet of tips to support you on your journey to reconnect!   Tune in and get ready to reignite the spark in your relationship, even amidst the beautiful chaos of parenthood.   Links & Resources: Course:   The Sex Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/love/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode123 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s (supposed to be) the most wonderful time of the year! The time we get together with our loved ones and celebrate each other with presents, food, and quality time.   But what happens when we start to see cracks in the perfect holiday picture we had in our mind? You and your partner start to bicker over budgets. Or maybe your mom’s disappointed that you’re going to your in-law’s this year. Or you’re just feeling like an enormous grinch this year.   The truth is that the holidays are an incredibly stressful time, and many of us get swept up by inflexible family traditions, present-giving politics, and socialized gender roles. So we’re here to help you navigate the holidays with ease and grace. There’s a lot of laughter, tons of compassion (because BOY have we had our own holiday disasters!), and as always our very best advice, all so you can have the tough conversations without losing the holiday spirit.   Links & Resources: Episode 4 : Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship Episode 27 : Your In-Law Holiday Survival Guide Episode 30 : Sex With Other People…Around Mental Load Workbook A Sex Therapist Explains: What Is The “F**k First” Rule?   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/pillow599 and use code pillow599 to get $5.99 per meal on your 1st box — and your 1st box ships free!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode81 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s time for another edition of one of our most popular series, Smash or Pass! This is where we try out the internet’s weirdest sex tips, so you don’t have to! (We even recorded audio of ourselves trying out a lot of the tips…) Today’s theme is sex tips from 90’s and 00’s women’s magazines. Do these tips about “driving your man wild” actually work? Tune in to find out! Links & Resources: Guide: The Sexual Mastery Package Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let’s talk about the thing that keeps you up at night. The thing that you don’t bring up over drinks with friends. The thing that you don’t even admit to yourself if we are being honest.   Let’s talk about the shame surrounding sex.   Our Instagram audience tells us that 74% of us have experienced it in our lifetime, with 30% currently going through it. (But we’d bet real money that both of those numbers are much higher.) There are so many things that plague us when it comes to sex: body counts, sexual identities, doing things “the right way”, doing something too much or not enough or not at all.   It’s EXHAUSTING, but it doesn’t have to be!   Sex should be about pleasure and joy, freedom and exploration, certainly not about worry and regret. In this episode, we walk you through reprogramming the way you approach sex in your life, in 7 steps.   Links & Resources: PDF Guide: 7 Steps to Deconstructing Sexual Shame   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode65 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s time to talk about Dead Bedrooms. Does your sex life feel like a ghost of what it used to be? Has it felt that way so long that you don’t know if it will ever recover? Are you grappling with feelings of isolation, loneliness, shame, and/or hopeless?   First of all, please know that you’re not alone. When we reached out to our Instagram audience asking people to share their stories of Dead Bedrooms, we were completely overwhelmed by the number of responses. There are so many couples feeling weighed down by not just the loss of their sex life, but their intimacy altogether. Their stories were so layered that “it’s complicated” doesn’t even begin to describe what’s been going on. So let’s talk about what it’s like to live with a Dead Bedroom and what you can do about it.   We sifted through all the stories our community members sent in, and picked one to dissect live in this episode. You’ll get an intimate peek at what’s really going on in another couple’s bedroom. We’ll give you plenty of resources for navigating the pain and frustration, tips for getting the conversation going, and advice on navigating common pitfalls. A Dead Bedroom only stays that way if you let it; we’re here to help you resuscitate it!   Links & Resources: Guide: Milfs, Dilfs, Pilfs (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/pilfs/)  Guide:  Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)  Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)  Our Book: Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to zocdoc.com/pillow (http://zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode98 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you find yourself wishing your partner would share more about their emotions, or at least just more details about how their day went?   If your partner never opens up to you, it can leave you feeling pretty damn lonely. You may even find yourself feeling suspicious about why they won’t share more with you.   In this episode, we’re giving you practical tips on how to get your partner to “open up”, once and for all.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode44 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever wish you had a sex therapist on speed dial? We get so many questions every week (because you guys are THE BEST) that we just can’t get to them all—so today, we’re dedicating an entire episode to answering your biggest intimacy and relationship dilemmas. From navigating mismatched libidos to handling awkward bedroom moments, we’re here to break it all down with practical, shame-free advice. In This Episode, We Cover: 💬 How to address it when your partner gropes you in their sleep 🧼 Balancing household chores with a partner who wants affection right now 😩 What to do if your partner struggles with death grip 😔 Bouncing back after a disappointing sexual experience 😤 Is “sexual frustration” really a thing? 🔄 How to stop being defensive in your marriage 🚨 NEW FREE Guide! 🚨 Ever struggle with how to start intimacy? We joke a lot about bad initiation styles (hello, awkward boob grabs) but we want to help you find what actually works. That’s why we created a brand-new FREE guide to help you figure out your initiation style—so you and your partner can create a spark your way. ✨ Download it for FREE here: vmtherapy.com/styles 🔗  Links & Resources: ✨ Listen to EPISODE 158: Maybe It’s Not Low Libido… https://vmtherapy.com/episode158 ✨ Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/best-week-ever-only?ref=podcast-197&utm_term=podcast-197 ✨ Treat Your Partner to the Best F0repl@y they've ever had: https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/?ref=podcast-197&utm_term=podcast-197 ✨ Check out our NYT best selling book Sex Talks: ➡︎ https://sextalksbook.com/?ref=podcast-197&utm_term=podcast-197 ✨ Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ✨ Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. ✨ Thanks Goodwipes. Goodwipes will elevate your everyday hygiene with premium wipes that deliver a superior clean that no dry toilet paper can match. Goodwipes is naturally scented and hypoallergenic. Free from harsh chemicals, parabens, and dyes. Connect with us! 👋 Instagram ➡︎ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Our VIP Email list: ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever wondered why the man in your life is so emotionally reserved? Ever been frustrated by how unwilling he seems to be to talk about his feelings?   You try to work though an issue in your relationship, but he’s stone-faced and tight-lipped, with nothing to add to the conversation. Or worse, after holding all the feelings in for so long, he has a huge overreaction of epic proportions that leaves you both wondering, “What the hell was that?”   You’re not the only one who wishes things would change. We asked the men of our Instagram audience if they wish they could be more emotionally intelligent, and 74% said yes.   In this episode, we explain why emotional intelligence remains so elusive for men and what can be done about it. Xander shares some of the emotional skeletons in his closet, how he was able to develop a healthier relationship with his emotions, and how other men can too. If you’ve never listened to an episode of Pillow Talks together, this is the one!   Links & Resources: Pillow Talks Episode 75: Am I Being Unreasonable?   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode80 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Awkward, fun, nerve-wracking, and exciting: all words that our community used to describe first-time sex with a new partner. There can be a lot of high expectations and common misconceptions about first times, so today we're going to be helping you navigate the waters of getting it on with someone new.   Even if you're in a long term relationship, there are tips on communicating with your partner about sex. And of course, we had to share the embarrassing details about our first time!   Links & Resources: Podcast Episode: No Your Partner Didn't Make You Feel That Way — Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility Free Guide: Are You Sexually Compatible?   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode121 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever thought about opening up your relationship? Have WE ever thought about opening up our relationship? Some see it as a necessity to fully express their sexuality while others think it might be the perfect salve for a hurting relationship. One thing’s for sure, open relationships are subject to a lot of misconceptions. Tune in to find out what open relationships are all about, and find out if WE are taking the steps toward this relationship structure.   Links & Resources: The Sex Challenge   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode31 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

2023 has been one wild ride! This podcast - all 136 episodes so far - has been a major part of our year, so what better way to celebrate than counting down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks in 2023? Take a stroll down memory lane to the moments when we couldn't stop laughing or could barely believe the words coming out of our mouths.   Your support means the world to us and we can’t wait to keep growing this community. Happy New Year from all of us to all of you!   Links & Resources: Check out our podcast page here! vmtherapy.com/podcast (https://vmtherapy.com/podcast/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (https://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you grow up in Purity Culture?   Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable.   It also has a lot to say about dressing modestly (especially for girls), pleasure being sinful, & masturbation being evil.   In this week's episode, we're breaking down the effects Purity Culture can have on your sex life- and what you can do to counteract it.   Links & Resources: Video: Religion And SEX - Navigating Sex, Shame, and Religion Masterclass: Masturbation Masturclass   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever wondered what your partner REALLY thinks about your performance in the bedroom?   Well, it turns out there are a few things they secretly wish you’d stop doing…   We turned to Instagram and asked people to anonymously share all of their bedroom pet peeves and red flags. The responses were fascinating. We’re breaking down the most common answers and giving you tips to start the conversation with your partner about what you actually want and like from each other during sex.   Links & Resources:   Course:   Art of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Course:   Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Course:   Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide:   Dirty Talk 101 (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/dt-101/) Guide:   Butt Stuff (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/butt-stuff/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow  (https://www.zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Xander is back in the hot seat today answering the tough questions... What do guys REALLY think about lingerie? Can they handle a woman who makes more money or has a higher sex drive? When it comes to breasts, do they care about size or symmetry? Nipple size or color?   We also polled the men in our Instagram community so we could take an even deeper look at the male psyche.   And we even talk about the two topics that have caused some serious issues in our relationship.   Don’t miss the laughter, the deep dives, and return of Xander’s dulcet tones serenading the podcast!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode69 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships.   In today's episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another.   Links & Resources: The Art Of Initiation   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode13 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. It was an instant New York Times bestseller!   Now that the book has been out for close to a year, we thought it was about time to sit down and share the feedback we’ve gotten from thousands of readers.   In this episode, we’re giving you the five biggest takeaways from the book, including the shocking assumptions that you don’t realize are impacting your sex life, the dynamics that are ruining emotional intimacy, and the topic that got us almost 20 million views on social media and an interview with the New York Times.   Links & Resources: Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Workbook:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (https://DipseaStories.com/pillow).   Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription.   Thanks Je Joue!  Go to JeJoue.com (https://JeJoue.com) for their Black Friday sale Nov 10 - Nov 30! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what they want and how to get it in the bedroom, right? So what happens when an aspiring sex therapist is struggling with her orgasm? In this interview-style podcast, Vanessa tells her own personal orgasm journey, and how it inspired her to start a business teaching thousands of women how to orgasm. For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode11   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.”   Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your partner, and felt totally unable see their perspective on the issue?   We put up a question box on Instagram and asked people to tell us about a conflict where they’re experiencing that kind of genuine confusion. Now, we’re breaking down the trickiest situations to help you see your partner’s point of view in a brand new light. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into what other couples fight about, and tons of useful relationship advice you haven’t heard before!   Links & Resources: Guide:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks EarthBreeze!  EarthBreeze.com/pillow (https://earthbreeze.com/pillow) to subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it means out relationship is successful.   So we decided to do a little experiment to see what the sex lives of our followers really look like. We created a sexual frequency and satisfaction survey, and we've now had 12,000 people respond!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Xander’s back in the hot seat answering all your burning questions about male behavior! Why do guys mansplain? Why do they struggle to find things that are right in front of their faces? Why are men always initiating when we’re right in the middle of something like doing the dishes? Why can’t they ever be vulnerable? And what’s with the obsession over the volume of their cum?? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights. Links & Resources: Episode 120: “Why Do Guys Do This?” Xander Explains Male Behavior If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it cheating to keep nudes from past relationships? Have an Only Fans account? Have a “work wife”? For this episode, we asked our community to tell us about a situation they’re in that has left them wondering, “Does this count as cheating?” The answers were fascinating, and we had a blast giving our hot takes. This is a great episode to listen to with your partner, to make sure you’re on the same page about what counts as cheating in your relationship. Links & Resources: Check out our courses Instagram: @vanessaandxander Tiktok: @vanessaandxander Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Flure. Check out the Flure Dating App at www.flure.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Should sex happen naturally? This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can cause some serious tension in relationships. You may want to work on improving your sex life or making changes, but your partner refuses because they think it should just happen naturally.    In this episode, we're going to uncover the truth about how sex really works in a long-term relationship. We think you’re going to be pretty surprised...   Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode3   GIVEAWAY ALERT!   If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!    (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.) Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Snip snap! We’re back with part 2 of Xander’s vasectomy journey. (Start with part 1 if you want to hear his story.) This time we’re answering all your questions about the process from start to finish (literally, all 30 “finishes”).   Did Xander have any pain during sex after the procedure? Did his sex drive change? Do his balls hang lower? Is his semen a different color, texture, or volume, and does it smell funny now? Did his vasectomy make him feel less masculine?   Plus, we share tons of advice about how to talk to your male partner about getting a vasectomy!   Links & Resources: Check out our homepage (https://vmtherapy.com/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (https://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Thanks EarthBreeze!  EarthBreeze.com/pillow (https://earthbreeze.com/pillow) to subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re putting Xander in the hot seat and making him answer all your burning questions about male behavior. Why do they hook boobs? Why are they such big babies when they’re sick? And of course, the age-old question: what's the deal with their marathon bathroom visits? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights.   Links & Resources: Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode120 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most couples believe that trying to get pregnant will be one of the sexiest, most intimate periods of their relationship. But if you don’t get pregnant right away, things can quickly take a turn - worrying that something is wrong, fear that it will never happen, the medical appointments, the pressure, the schedules…   With all that stress, it’s no wonder that your sex life can really suffer while trying to conceive.   Today we’re sharing 5 ways to protect your relationship during your TTC journey. It’s a heavy topic, but we’ll try to make you laugh along the way.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Get $400 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at birchliving.com/pillow    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode70 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship?    Do you feel like your partner gets to be carefree and happy while you’re stressed out trying to hold it all together?   In today's episode, we talk about one of the most popular topics we’ve ever talked about: mental load.   If you’ve never heard the term before, mental load refers to the invisible mental burden of keeping track of household and family needs.    Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is an episode you don’t want to miss!   Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode4     GIVEAWAY ALERT! If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20, we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!    (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)   Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something that brings up big feelings for you, it's so easy to blame them for the way you feel. But the unfortunate reality is we can't actually blame other people for how we're feeling!   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss why our feelings are our own responsibility, and give their best tips for navigating challenging emotions.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: The Simple Daily Check-In Every Couple Needs To Be Doing Right Now Video: Improve Your Relationship - How To Follow GOOD Relationship Advice Course: The Relationship Care Package   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode16 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No, you’re not having deja vu… Butt Stuff is back!   We originally released a Butt Stuff episode almost a year ago, and it has consistently been one of our top 5 episodes. It has been so popular that we decided to turn it into a course… conveniently named Butt Stuff as well 🤣   In celebration, we decided to re-record a podcast episode with all of your most pressing questions. We cover everything in this episode! Hemorrhoids, hairy buttholes, safety, straight dudes being on the receiving end, and the one big fear that so many of us have… will there be poop?!   We know there’s some fear and anxiety surrounding the back door, because 72% of our Instagram audience said they’re intimidated by butt stuff. But with 67% admitting to still being curious, we decided to bust those myths and give you the facts so you can decide if anal play is worth a try. (Pssst! It is!)   Links & Resources: Guide: Butt Stuff   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode68     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We were WRONG.   Well, Vanessa was. She thought there was no way our last Ask Us Anything episode would be popular, but it ended up being one of our most listened-to episodes!   So we decided to do a Part 2 with more of the most asked and most interesting personal questions we’ve gotten.   We’re talking about: What we fight about What we won’t do sexually Vanessa’s ultra-personal therapy update What our families think about us being in the sex therapy business What we keep private from our Instagram audience And so much more!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode54 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

75% of people say that nagging is an issue in their relationship. So we thought it was time we gave our take on this controversial topic.   We’re talking about the differences between nagging, reminding, and micromanaging. When is it nagging versus your partner not carrying their share of the mental load? What do you do when you can’t trust your partner to get something done without nagging?   We also got into a pretty vulnerable conversation about the role nagging has in our day-to-day relationship.   Plus, we’re walking you through specific steps to help stop nagging because the reality is, no one likes to nag and no one likes to receive nagging…   Links & Resources: Workbook:   Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Get 15% off OneSkin with the code PILLOW at www.oneskin.co (https://www.oneskin.co/)   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (https://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex.   Did you know that more than 50% of people regularly have sex where at least one partner is completely silent? This might not initially seem like a huge deal, but there are actually a number of drawbacks to having totally quiet sex.   In today’s episode, we’re breaking down for you why you’re having silent sex, the benefits of making some noise in the bedroom, and some simple steps to help you get more comfortable with it! You’ll also learn the surprising truth about which gender in a male/female relationship is the quiet one…   Links & Resources: Guide: Dirty Talk 101 (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/dt-101/) Guide:  Modern Man’s Guide (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/modern-mans-guide/)   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever had your partner initiate sex and thought to yourself, “I should probably just do it because I’ve said ‘no’ so much”? Or has your partner been the one reminding you of your track record of responses?   Or maybe you’re the one wishing your partner would say “yes” a whole lot more often.    Spoiler alert: You should never feel pressured (or pressure yourself) to do something you don’t want to do with your own body. But this issue can get surprisingly complex. Intimacy is one of the foundations of a relationship, and it’s understandable for partners to have needs. How can we honor what our partner wants, while also staying true to ourself and our boundaries?   Let us walk you through how to identify the real issue in all this gray area and some simple ways to tackle this touchy subject.   Links & Resources: Sex Drive Type Initiation 101 Secret Libido (Sex Drive) Killers Podcast Episode 38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS You can go to JULIECARE.CO to learn more or find Julie at your nearest Walmart today.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode73 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are these four communication mistakes ruining your relationship? In today’s episode we’re revealing the Four Horsemen. Researcher John Gottman discovered that these specific communication pitfalls could predict divorce with over 90% accuracy! We’re breaking down what they are, how to know if you’re doing them, and what to do to have better communication going forward. Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought to yourself, “I love you, but I don’t like you right now”? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us! We’ve been dying to do an episode about the topic, but when we polled our audience on IG, it quickly became obvious that this needed to be a series, not just a single episode. So this week, we’re focusing on one of the most frequent complaints - gaming. 40% of our Instagram community said gaming is hurting their relationship. The gamers are feeling dismissed and misunderstood, and the partners are feeling lonely and unprioritized. In this episode, we’ll teach you how to both be accountable for your wants and needs, how to avoid common pitfalls, and even reveal the 3 things that gamers wish you knew as a non-gamer. Whether you’re listening together or solo, we hope you take some notes to help you get on the same page, because no hobby should come in between you and your partner. Head on over to our Instagram afterwards and tell us what you found most helpful, and also, let us know what you’d like to see as the next topic in the series! Links & Resources: Guide:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/PILLOW (http://StoryWorth.com/PILLOW)    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode101 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re innocently folding the laundry, just minding your own business, when your partner comes up behind you, brushes your hair away from your ear and whispers “I want you. NOW.” They order you to take off your clothes. They push you down onto the bed, and ravage you from head to toe.   We’ve all had this fantasy, right? It’s SO sexy to think about your partner taking control.   But what is it about this control fantasy that’s so appealing?   You might be surprised to find out...   If you’ve ever wanted your (male) partner to take control in the bedroom, this episode is a must-listen!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode52 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom?   People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a difficult time staying present during sex.   People tend to feel that “letting go” is the main thing that could make sex better and more pleasurable. But for many of us, just letting go is a lot harder than it sounds!   In this episode, we talk about what “letting go” during sex could look like, and whether that’s actually something we should be striving for in the bedroom.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode5 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s episode we’re diving into something that 74% of our audience have never done - roleplay!   Most people think that roleplaying feels awkward and uncomfortable. They worry about not knowing who to roleplay, not being able to get or stay in character, and generally embarrassing themselves.   But we think that roleplaying can be a whole lot of fun - and can even be a great way to feel more present in the bedroom!   So in today’s episode, we’re going to give you our step-by-step roadmap for easing into roleplaying, and discovering your confidence!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode59 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you do when your partner initiates sex, but you’re not in the mood?   This can be one of the trickiest moments to navigate in a relationship. You might find yourself freezing up, worrying about hurting your partner, or even feeling irritated at them for initiating in the first place.   In this episode, we walk you through exactly what to do. You might even be surprised by our suggestions!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes: vmtherapy.com/episode40 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trying new sex positions is a really fun way to spice up your sex life, but it can feel super intimidating to even get started when you're already in a comfortable routine. In today's episode, we are addressing your concerns and helping you gain the confidence to dive right in and add to your repertoire!   LInks & Resource: Pick up your copy of the Sex Position Playbook!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode21 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is squirting really just pee? Can pineapple make your vulva taste and smell sweet? What the heck is the deal with belly button sex??   We turned to Instagram to ask, “What’s something you’ve heard about sex and aren’t sure if it’s true?”   Some of these urban legends are funny, some of them are damaging and harmful, and some of them are actually true!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode45 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Real talk - are you faking orgasms? There are so many understandable reasons why you may have started faking. Maybe you were trying to protect your partner’s ego, or trying to make it seem like there was good chemistry between the two of you. Maybe you were worried about taking too long to orgasm, or maybe you‘d never had one so you didn’t even know how you were supposed to get there with your partner. But what do you do if you’re now in the situation where you’ve been faking for so long that you don’t know how to get yourself out of the hole? We have good news and better news. First, you’re not broken and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. And we have three options for how to stop faking and start having the orgasms that you deserve! Because life’s too short to fake your way through sex.   Links & Resources: Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)  Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)  Guide: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Athletic Greens. Go to athleticgreens.com/pillow (http://athleticgreens.com/pillow) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode108. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship?   Should differing beliefs be deal breakers? Are they enough to end a relationship over?   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander tackle these thorny questions!   Links & Resources: Video: How To Make Up After A Fight Free Guide: Simply Daily Check-In For Couples Course: The Relationship Care Package!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode14 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all feel like we’re supposed to just be naturally good at intercourse, but there are so many dynamics that can trip us up! What positions are best? How do you MOVE during it? What do you do if one of you can easily orgasm from intercourse, but the other can’t?!   We asked our audience what their biggest frustrations are when it comes to intercourse, and we got back some surprising, and some not-so-surprising, answers. We struggled with intercourse early in our own relationship, so we related to a lot of responses.   In this episode, we’re sharing exactly what to do to fix these common challenges. And Xander even gives us the inside scoop on the male perspective when it comes to the challenges and pressures of intercourse.   Links & Resources: Guide: Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (https://cozyearth.com/) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (https://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus 20% off your next 2 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you do when it’s been a while… When you don’t remember the last time you had sex. When the idea of initiating feels even more awkward than usual. When you’re not sure if your partner is missing it the same way you are. In this episode, we’re breaking down why dry spells happen in the first place and telling you exactly how to get back on the horse. We’ll even answer the big question… do we NEED to have sex? Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Friends, followers, and first-time listeners, gather 'round for a podcast episode like no other! Get ready to dive into our New York Times instant best-selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. With special permission from our publisher Simon & Schuster, we’re able to share the entire first chapter of the audiobook with you!   The first chapter is a special one. After listening, you’ll understand why sex starts to feel so complicated in long-term relationships. You’ll no longer feel alone or scared about the future of your relationship. (So many people have told us they were in tears in the first few pages.) And you’ll feel inspired and excited to have these five Sex Talks with your partner!   Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Athletic Greens. Go to athleticgreens.com/pillow (http://athleticgreens.com/pillow) to get a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode104 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you a woman who wants sex more than your male partner? All we see on TV, movies, and social media is men wanting it more, so if that’s not the case in your relationship, you may feel like something is horribly wrong.   But after polling our community, we found that almost half of male-female relationships have this dynamic! That has even been the case for us in seasons of our relationship.   We’re here to remove the shame, show you how normal it is for the woman to want sex more often, and tell you what to do to balance your libidos. Because mismatched sex drives - regardless of who has the higher drive - don’t need to be a dealbreaker.   In this episode you’ll learn: Real life responses from men and women about how higher female libido affects them The 4 ways couples accidentally make things worse The single most overlooked step that could make a world of difference   Links & Resources: Guide:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode121 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are so many aspects of great sex are tied into receiving. Your ability to receive can affect many things, like your ability to be present in the moment, feel pleasure, be emotionally connected to a partner, and especially to orgasm!   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander talk about how you can get more comfortable with the idea of receiving in the bedroom.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: 10 Ways to Feel More During Sex Video: Female Orgasm - How to Know If You've Had An Orgasm Course: Finishing School Live   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode17 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!   Whether you’re looking to learn how to orgasm, skyrocket your confidence, or rekindle the spark with your partner, Vanessa & Xander can help you identify and overcome your blockages around, and learn how to have more fun in the bedroom. Head over to vmtherapy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it cheating if you go to sex club… but just to watch? What about a flirty Snapchat streak with your ex? A prostate massage with no orgasm? 👀 This week, we’re back with Part 2 of one of our most talked-about episodes. We asked our community to share the moments, confessions, and curveballs that made them ask, “Wait…is this cheating?” And let’s just say… the gray areas are graying HARD. Here’s what we’re dishing on in this episode: Is emotional intimacy outside your relationship OK? When fantasies, DMs, or even Reddit lurking crosses the line. Are AI-generated nudes of your partner’s family the point of no return? Why intention and secrecy matter more than the act itself. The emotional toll “nothing happened” takes on a relationship. The difference between curiosity and disrespect when exploring sexually. No matter how you define cheating, one thing’s clear: these kinds of conversations are hard, and they don’t get easier without the right tools. Join the Deeper membership Want hotter sex, deeper convos, and fewer fights? For less than the cost of a date night, get on-demand access to our expert-led courses, live sessions with us, and interactive tools designed to fit into your busy life. Start your journey inside Deeper here. Links & Resources 🔥 The Art Of Initiation  🤖 Meet Vanessa AI (included with Deeper membership)  Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list — vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📲 Follow us on Instagram — @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & Review — New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Dipsea. Right now, listeners of this show can get a 30-day free trial ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow 👏Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they would plan more date nights, spend less time on their phone and more time with you, or show you that they’re actively working on being a better partner? If so, you’re not alone. 70% of people are longing for a more involved partnership.   We know — from personal experience — that getting your partner to be more active can feel challenging. Maybe you just don’t know how to start the conversation or how to phrase your request. Or maybe you asked, but your partner never followed through. Or maybe they even said “no”.   Whatever the case may be, we’ll give you some sneaky yet effective ways to get your partner more invested in your relationship.   Links & Resources: Challenge:  The Connection Challenge (https://vmtherapy.com/connection/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good communication is really hard.  We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it can be really tough to validate your partner's experience, use clear and empathic language, and also ask for your needs to be met.   We make a living teaching couples how to have good communication and we STILL struggle with this.   So in this episode, we're roleplaying some of our listener-submitted arguments, and breaking down their communication breakdowns.   Links & Resources: Video: 5 Communication Tips For Couples Guide: Golden Rules Of Communication Masterclass: Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode10 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🔥 Let’s talk about sex—but let’s make it fun, flirty, and way less awkward. In this episode, we’re telling you about 90 spicy prompts designed to get you talking, laughing, and maybe even blushing with your partner. We’ll be pulling cards from our brand-spankin-new Sex Talks Card Deck and answering them live, sharing our hottest takes, and reading some intriguing responses from our Instagram community. Some of these questions will have you reminiscing, some will have you dreaming up new adventures, and others might just be the push you need to turn up the heat in your love life! In this episode, we explore: ✔️ Why talking about sex is the key to having more (and better) sex ✔️ The five essential conversations that will take your intimacy to the next level ✔️ Real, unfiltered responses from our listeners on what turns them on ✔️ Our own candid answers to some of most revealing prompts 📩 Love what you hear? Leave us a review and tell us which prompt got you hot and bothered! 🔥 💫 Ready to take your conversations to the next level? Grab your own Sex Talks Card Deck now at sextalksbook.com and start exploring with your partner! --------------------------------- 🔗 Links & Resources: --------------------------------- 💫 Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/best-week-ever-only?ref=podcast-196&utm_term=podcast-196 💫 Treat Your Partner to the best foreplay they've ever had: https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/?ref=podcast-196&utm_term=podcast-196 💫 Check out our NYT best selling book Sex Talks: ➡︎ https://sextalksbook.com/?ref=podcast-196&utm_term=podcast-196 --------------------------- Connect with us! 👋 --------------------------- Instagram ➡︎ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Watch Us on YouTube ➡︎ https://www.youtube.com/c/VanessaMarin Our VIP Email list: ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How are we really doing? We had a plan to talk about a different topic, but once we sat down in front of the mics, we decided to go rogue and talk about what life has really been like recently. In today’s episode, we’re getting extra personal and sharing some of our ups and downs from the year so far. We’ve got details about all the tough decisions we’ve been making about the future of our company, personal updates about the state of our relationship, and even a behind-the-scenes look at the state of this podcast… Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites at Chewy.com/pillows. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“This, uh, isn’t working…” Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused about what to do. How do you react? What do you say?   And let’s be honest, most of us women take these moments personally. We get into our heads thinking things like, “Am I not attractive enough? Am I bad at sex??”   Today we’re breaking down for you why penis performance issues happen, and how men need you to respond in those extra-sensitive moments. Xander is also helping us non-penis owners understand what’s really going on inside men’s heads, and the pressures men feel around sex.   Links & Resources: Guide: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (https://www.zocdoc.com/) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted touch in their relationships. We’re talking things like boob honks, humping from behind, and ass smacks.   So what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust is touching your body in ways that you don’t like? There’s one thing we’re clear on: it’s your body, and you get to decide how it gets touched. That being said, there can be nuances in these kinds of situations. What if you’ve never told your partner you don’t like that kind of touch? What if you know your partner has good intentions, but just isn’t understanding your boundaries?   In this episode, we're not just highlighting the problem; we're providing solutions. We'll walk you through the three most common scenarios when it comes to unwanted touch in relationships, and provide practical guidance on how to tackle them. Whether you're seeking advice on communication, setting boundaries, or understanding consent, we've got you covered.   Links & Resources: Guide:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Guide:  Survivor’s Guide (https://free.vmtherapy.com/survivors-guide-opt-in/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode122 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is all about the most viral piece of content we’ve ever made - why we make out every single night before bed. Our two-minute video has amassed almost 20 million views on social, was talked about on daytime TV shows, and even landed us an interview with the New York Times. We had no idea that this topic would be so popular, but it clearly struck a nerve!   So we decided to break our nightly ritual down for you in more detail and answer the most common questions we get asked. We’re spilling the beans on: Why we decided to do it in the first place If it’s awkward getting it started every night If we still do it even when we’re angry with each other If it makes intimacy feel like an obligation or a chore   Links & Resources: Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/) Guide:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Instagram: @vanessaandxander (https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/)   Thanks Babbel. Visit Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow)for 55% off your subscription.   Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow (http://StoryWorth.com/pillow)   Thanks Je Joue!  Go to JeJoue.com (https://bit.ly/45MJ2Ki) for their Black Friday sale Nov 10 - Nov 30! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every day we get DMs from women asking Xander what men REALLY think about everything from pubic hair to emotional intimacy.   We decided we had to devote an entire podcast episode to this topic, so we gathered your most common questions and concerns, and put Xander in the hot seat. We also asked the men in our Instagram audience for their feedback. We’re giving you an invaluable peek inside the hearts and minds of men all over the world.   Topics include: Cellulite How many sexual partners a woman has had Do men compare their partner to others? Vulvas (smell, look, taste) Giving oral sex   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode56 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We really went there…   It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out, and report back to you with all the details.   We dug deep to find the craziest ideas for us to try, and what we found was well… interesting. We’re even taking you into our bedroom during one of the tips so you can hear our live reaction!   The Countdown Method… using a glove… the Nose Dive method. Are any of these new tips Pillow Talks Approved? You’ll just have to tune in and find out!   Links & Resources: Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don't know how.   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: Best Way To Have Your First Orgasm Video: Masturbation In Relationships? - A SEX Therapist's Guidelines for Self Pleasure   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode15 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? If you’re like most people, your face is already bright red! You need to be able to talk about sex if you want to have an extraordinary sex life.   So to kick off the Pillow Talks podcast, we’ve got your back with a step-by-step process for talking about sex in your relationship - even if you never have before.    In this episode, we’ll walk you through five steps you need to take to get comfortable talking about sex. We’ll share funny stories of our own communication mishaps, and give you the courage to open up!    Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode1   GIVEAWAY ALERT!   If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!    (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.) Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you have a fantasy you've always wanted to explore? Maybe your partner does as well, but it doesn't 'match up' with yours. In this episode we're diving into a five step process for dealing with different fantasies in relationships.   Links & Resources: Top 7 Fantasies PDF    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode28 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re tackling one of the trickiest and most controversial topics we get asked about - porn. Is it OK to watch porn even if you’re in a relationship? Can it become addicting? Can you forbid your partner from watching it? In this episode we cover how porn affects you personally, pros and cons to bringing porn into your relationship, and what to do if you and your partner disagree. This is a topic that every couple needs to talk about in their relationship, so use this episode to open up a conversation! Links & Resources: Join our email list! Instagram: @vanessaandxander If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites at Chewy.com/pillows. Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co Thanks Unbound Merino. Head over to their website unboundmerino.com where new customers can use our code PILLOW for 15% off of their order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is inspired by the popular Reddit thread, Am I The Asshole? We’re giving you our hot takes on some of the trickiest situations submitted by our audience. Tune in for stories about faking orgasms for 24 years, forgetting your partner's birthday, and even unknowingly being someone's first time!   Grab your partner and join us for this entertaining episode that’s sure to get you debating right alongside us. Once you’re done listening, let us know your favorite story and whether or not you agree with our stance!   Links & Resources: Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/) Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/) Guide:  Butt Stuff (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/butt-stuff/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode125   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s time for another one of your favorite episodes - Ask Us Anything! This time, let’s skip the business questions and keep it personal.   We asked you to send in the questions you’ve been dying to know, and you delivered! Religion? Sex position burnout? The ways we still embarrass ourselves with each other? You bet! We cover it all and more, so make yourself comfortable and feel free to giggle along as we reveal all sorts of things for the sake of the podcast. We hope these topics (and our sometimes controversial answers) start some conversations that you never knew you needed to have!   Links & Resources: Sex Talks Dirty Talk Initiation 101   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks RocketMoney.com/pillow. RocketMoney could save you hundreds a year!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode86 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re having a steamy makeout session with your partner, things are getting hot and heavy and leading to sex, but your partner just can’t get or stay erect. (Or maybe their erection isn’t the problem, but their orgasm is.)   What does it mean??   For most women, we think the answer lies within ourselves. We’re not hot enough. We’re not experienced enough or lacking technique. Something is wrong with our body, not theirs.   What you THINK these performance issues mean vs. what they REALLY mean are two very different animals, so in today’s episode, we are going there.   Whether your partner has trouble getting and staying hard, orgasming too quickly/taking too long to orgasm, we’re talking about how these issues have affected us in our relationship and giving you all of our best tips for navigating them in (and out) of the moment.   And, spoiler alert, this episode turned into a mini therapy session for us!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode47 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you want more intimacy in relationship? If your answer was, “Yes, but HOW?”, then you’re in the right place! We’ve been together for 15 years and know from personal experience how a relationship can ebb and flow right into a rut. You’re too tired, too overwhelmed, too embarrassed by how stale things have gotten, and you find yourself in the land of stagnation.   Good thing we’ve come up with the cheat code!   Whether you’re looking for more emotional or physical intimacy, or BOTH, we have you covered. This episode is jam packed with tips for rekindling the connection, how to get your partner on board with creating more intimacy, and even some real-life feedback from couples who have used our advice to find their way back to each other.   Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks (available for preorder until Feb 7th) Challenge: Intimate or Nasty (Preorders get $30 off this challenge) Free Guide: How To Get Your Partner On Board For Intimate Or Nasty   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode89   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all want to feel wanted. That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it's something you've already done..."dating" your partner!   We've heard from our community (and this is something we as a couple have gone through as well) that when you've been together for years, even decades, you can go through phases where you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Maybe you have kids and you know you're on the same team, but romance has taken a back seat to parenting and just life in general. Whatever the case may be, we're excited to talk about the role desire can play in your relationship and how - yes - you can reignite that spark from the 'old days'.   Links & Resources: The Sex Challenge Mental Load: What it is and how to stop it from destroying your relationship   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode18 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Having sex when there are guests around (or when you are a guest in someone's home) can be a major source of anxiety — but sometimes you just HAVE to do it! Today, we're going to walk you through how to respectfully, discreetly get down wherever you're spending the holidays.   Links & Resources: Follow us on Instagram! We share so much behind the scenes content and you can participate in our Instagram polls for the podcast!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode30 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re back with Part 2 of our “What Do Women Really Think About…?” series. We turned to our instagram community again and asked for a new batch of topics. We’re diving into women’s real thoughts about spitting vs swallowing, their partners watching porn, and some (pretty crazy) wild cards. Links & Resources: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In over 100 episodes of Pillow Talks, we’ve never had a guest. But we broke the mold to bring on Tracy O’Malley, and after hearing this episode, we think you’ll understand why.   Tracy is a phenomenal Enneagram expert who helps you understand how your personality type affects how you show up in life and love. We thought it would be fun to do a couples session with Tracy, and we gave her full permission to share our strengths and challenges with you. We were absolutely blown away - like jaws on the floor - by how accurately she described our relationship. She explained how our Enneagram types (5 and 7) work in a relationship, the ways we’re accidentally driving each other nuts, and how we can show each other more grace. And she even provided tons of guidance for how people of any type can use the Enneagram to improve their relationships. (Just wait until you hear her tip about our younger selves...)   Whether you’re an Enneagram newbie or pro, or if you just want an intimate peek into the inner workings of our relationship, this episode is a must-listen!   Click here (https://www.tracyomalley.com/) and use code PILLOW to access Tracy O’Malley’s Enneagram Type Blueprint for 5% off!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow). Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode106 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What’s the difference between a clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasm, and cervical orgasm? What’s squirting? How common is it for women to orgasm multiple times in 1 session? Today we’re taking it back to the very first topic Vanessa became known for - female orgasm (Buzzfeed even called her The Orgasm Whisperer)! In this episode, Vanessa is answering some of the most commonly asked questions about female pleasure and giving you top-tier advice on how to start having the best orgasms of your life. Links & Resources: Course: Finishing School Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“When mommy and daddy lock the bedroom door…” We’ve all been there at some point in our childhood when someone sat us down and talked to us for the first time about sex. Odds are it was probably awkward, uncomfortable, and maybe left you with more questions than before. In this episode, we’re digging into all of your true stories about how “The Talk” was given to you, and we’re sharing our stories too. So if you’ve ever wondered how similar your first conversation about sex is to someone else, this is an episode you can’t miss. Links & Resources: Course: How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mental Load sucks. But are you accidentally making it even harder?   We originally talked about Mental Load way back in episode 4, and in today’s episode, we’re going to zone in on two nuances that can make or break your attempts to balance your partnership: perfectionism and male Mental Load.   Do you have a specific way that you like tasks to be done around the house? Maybe you find yourself feeling frustrated at your partner because they never do things the way you would do them. Or you get upset when they try to “help” because they bombard you with so many questions that you end up just doing it yourself? Perfectionism is hard enough to deal with on its own, but when you combine it with Mental Load, it’s a recipe for disaster and resentment.   Or maybe you’ve tried to talk to your partner about your Mental Load, but now you find yourselves in a competition about who is carrying more. You could list all the things you do for the house, for him, for the kids, but what would he have on his list? We asked the men in our community to talk about their Mental Load, and some of their answers may surprise you! (One answer was shocking enough that you’ll get to hear first-hand how to navigate a Mental Load conversation when your male partner carries a Load that’s invisible to you.) Men may not always know how to put into words what they carry, but the weight is still there, and it’s throwing off the scales of your partnership.   Let us guide you through the minefield of gender roles, socialization, and the burden of perfectionism in this second edition of Mental Load. Grab your partner or play it loud enough for them to hear it in the other room, because this is the one episode your relationship can’t afford to miss!   Links & Resources: Guide:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)  Podcast Episode Callback:  Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship (https://vmtherapy.com/episode4/)  Podcast Episode Callback:  Fine, I’ll Just Do It Myself: The Danger of Weaponized Incompetence (https://vmtherapy.com/episode35)    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode95 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you ever find yourself mid-sentence with your partner and realize that they’re not even remotely paying attention to you? No one wants to feel like they’re competing with a device for their partner's attention, but it’s not like you can just toss the damn thing out. If you’re frustrated with your partner’s phone usage, tune in to learn practical ways to establish better phone routines and deepen your connection irl with your partner.   Links & Resources: Guide:  The Connection Challenge (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/30-day-connection-challenge-cs/)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode116 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices