Over It And On With It (Christine Hassler)

So much good stuff in this coaches corner.  Everything from dealing with a break-up, to dating tips (learn how to write a great online profile), to being better in your relationship.   Listen to my friend and incredible dating coach, Marni Battista and I share about love and dating.   A little more about Marni: Marni Battista has a Masters in Education and is a Certified Life Coach by the International Coaching Federation. She is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment, “The D-Factor,” that helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are, or are not date-able, and what types of messages they are unconsciously broadcasting to others based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes. Marni is also trained as a Facilitator and Mentor Trainer by the Hoffman Institute, a world-renowned leader in personal development. In addition, Marni is the on-camera Dating & Relationship Coach to Tristan Couveras, star of the new hit reality TV show, “ControlTV,” produced by Seth Green and Ken Fuchs, producer of “The Bachelor.”   Get so much more from her here:  http://datingwithdignity.com

Shawn Stevenson is the author of the USA Today National bestseller Eat Smarter and the international bestselling book Sleep Smarter. He’s also creator of The Model Health Show, featured as the number #1 health podcast in the U.S. with millions of listener downloads each month. A graduate of the University of Missouri–St. Louis, Shawn studied business, biology, and nutritional science and became the cofounder of Advanced Integrative Health Alliance. Shawn has been featured in Forbes, Fast Company, The New York Times, Muscle & Fitness, ABC News, ESPN, and many other major media outlets.

McCall McPherson is a Physician Assistant, a thyroid-patient gone expert after suffering for years due to mismanagement of her own thyroid disorder. She is the founder of Modern Thyroid Clinic, a functional medicine practice in Austin, Texas specializing in complex thyroid disorders and a believer that with proper care and treatment there is no reason to still have thyroid symptoms.

Learn more about her practice here: https://www.modernthyroidclinic.com/

And her course for optimal thyroid function here: http://www.mccallmcpherson.com/#/courses/

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler speaks with Hyesha, who seeks advice on managing her empathic tendencies, especially the overwhelming emotions she feels when witnessing suffering. Christine helps Hyesha navigate the delicate balance between feeling deeply and maintaining emotional boundaries, particularly when her empathic abilities make her overly sensitive to the pain of others.

Hyesha opens up about her experiences of being triggered by everyday situations involving children or animals, which leads her into "worst-case-scenario" thinking. Christine assists Hyesha in understanding how her heightened sensitivity stems from unhealed childhood wounds and limiting beliefs. Through this powerful coaching session, Hyesha learns practical ways to embrace her empathic gifts without being consumed by them.

Christine emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between empathy and sympathy, encouraging Hyesha to hold space for others' suffering without taking it on herself. She also guides Hyesha in recognizing her own triggers and using them as opportunities for self-compassion and healing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by others' emotions, to the point that it drains you?
• Are you an empath who struggles to maintain boundaries between your feelings and those of others?
• How do you respond when you're triggered by the suffering of children, animals, or even people on the news?
• Can you hold space for others' emotions without going into "rescue mode" or becoming emotionally paralyzed?

Hyesha's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Hyesha shares how hearing a child or animal cry often triggers a response that doesn't match the reality of the situation, rooted in past trauma.
• Christine helps Hyesha identify the emotional patterns that cause her to react so strongly and teaches her how to use her empathic abilities constructively.
• Hyesha recognizes the need to mother herself and attend to her own emotional needs when triggered by outside stimuli.
• The session highlights the difference between empathy and sympathy, showing how Hyesha can feel deeply without becoming overwhelmed.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Practice distinguishing between empathy (feeling without judgment) and sympathy (feeling sorry for others), and strive to stay in an empathetic space.
• Acknowledge that your reactions to certain situations may be based on unresolved emotional wounds, and use these moments as invitations to self-care.
• Use grounding techniques to regulate your nervous system when you start to feel overwhelmed by others' emotions.
• Recognize that feeling deeply is a gift, but it doesn’t require you to take on the burden of fixing or saving others.

Sponsor: Caraway Cookware – Christine loves Caraway’s non-toxic, chemical-free cookware. Check out their selection and get an exclusive 10% discount by visiting carawayhome.com/overit and using promo code "OVERIT" at checkout.

Social Media + Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
• Christine on Facebook
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• @ChristineHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
• @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
• Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services!
• Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
• Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!

This call is about is about getting over body image issues and having a healthy relationship with food. Today’s caller, Jen, has come a long way in healing body related issues but still feels unhinged when it comes to food. She realizes she is making unhealthy choices when it comes to food. Many times, people who are doing self-love and body image work people do, they try to jump right to loving their body without acknowledging that maybe they ar

This episode is about shifting our protective patterns and taking risks. Today’s caller, Christine, lost her husband five years into their marriage. She wants to date again but is blocked by the fear of losing love again. We take a deep dive into the foundation of her fear and how she can choose to love again.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode339]

Love is risky. Loving is easily the riskiest thing we do, whether it is loving our partners, animals, friends, or children. Love is risky because if we lose it is devastating. Our hearts want to close because the risk is difficult but when we close our hearts we miss out on the opportunity to love more. There is no quota on how much we can love in our lifetime. Or, how many loves we can have. Love is infinite. To deprive ourselves of ever-expanding love is riskier than losing again.

Shame grows on the things we keep in the dark but when we speak and bring things into the light it allows us to be held with love and compassion. That is how we soften judgment and allow intimacy in again.

Diving deep is valuable. Anyone who says they are too damaged but is actively working on themselves isn’t damaged. We are only “damaged” if we go into victim and never do anything to pull ourselves out. The only way to get protective parts to shift is to let them know that you are going to work with them to protect yourself in a different way.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Have you had a loss in your life and you are hesitant to give something another try because you are afraid of another loss?
• Do you judge yourself for having baggage, especially if you are single, and feel no one will want you?
• Are you scared of losing a person, a dream, or does the fear of loss prevent you from going after your dreams?
• Is there a judgment you hold against yourself that is blocking you that you haven’t forgiven yourself for?

Christine’s Question:

Christine would like to start dating and would like guidance on how to move past the resistance she feels towards it.

Christine’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her husband died seven years ago. He was her only significant romantic relationship.
• She is ready to start dating again but finds excuses why not to.
• She feels stuck.
• She doesn’t think someone will want her because of her baggage.
• She is still grieving her husband.
• She judges herself for things out of her control.
• She has been through a lot at a young age.
• Her desire to protect herself from loss is stronger than her desire to let someone new in.
• She feels paralyzed by grief and fear.
• She is actively working on opening up and loving again.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Get clear about her willingness to take a risk on love.
• Forgive herself for her self-judgments.
• Honor her past relationship in a way that doesn’t include blame or shame.
• Acknowledge her fear, thank it for protecting her, and tell it she will be protecting herself in a different way.
• Create a bigger fear.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Thema Bryantis a clinical psychologist and president-elect of the American Psychological Association. She is also a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. With more than twenty years of experience in trauma recovery, she has appeared as a mental health expert on television, radio, and print media. Dr. Thema raises awareness about mental health issues on The Homecoming Podcast and her social media platforms.

Her new book 

HOMECOMING: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self is road map for dismantling the fear and shame that keep you from living a free and authentic life.  

Learn more here: https://drthema.com/

This episode is about taking the action steps to get out of a toxic relationship. Today’s caller, Sara, grew up in a traumatic home and recently broke up from a severely toxic relationship. She has such a high tolerance for trauma and toxicity, she hesitates to take the logistical action steps needed to remove herself and her daughter from the toxic environment. It may be difficult to listen to but you will also hear her strength, heart, and resilience.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode357]

It can be hard to see how unhealthy a relationship is when we have a high tolerance for abusive behavior. When we are in situations that trigger trauma, it is tricky because oftentimes, there are action steps we need to take to change the real-world reality of things. We have to put our deeper healing aside for the moment and take immediate action.

It is hard to make rational decisions when we are emotionally triggered.

Allowing other people to tell us we are damaged or to tell us what our issues are is toxic behavior. We don’t need someone else to tell us that we are not healed or are broken. Whatever someone projects onto us is a reflection of their issues. This behavior is abusive and gaslighting. It is a massive red flag! Don't let them take your power away. No one has the authority to evaluate your wholeness or issues. If there is someone in your life who is doing that to you, RUN!

Coaches — When someone is in a breakup situation that involves legal stuff and needs protection, it is not the time to do deep somatic trauma work on their childhood. When someone doesn’t feel safe in their immediate situation their nervous system isn’t regulated, there is a fine line between guiding people towards their own answers and getting a strong feeling to give direct feedback. A coach’s job is to do a little bit of both.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you shoulda/coulda/woulding all over yourself? Is there something that happened in your past you wish could be different now? Are you beating yourself up with “What Ifs”?
• Did you have a traumatic childhood and are you repeating it in your adult life?
• Do you think you may be in a toxic or unhealthy relationship?
• Do you see yourself as broken or allow yourself to be told who you are?

Sara’s Question:

Sara is going through a brutal breakup after three years together with an unhealthy, controlling person. She would like guidance on how to move forward in her life.

Sara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• This is her first serious relationship.
• She believed her ex to be her forever relationship.
• They have a child together.
• She feels she brought toxicity into the relationship based on her past.
• Her ex is 20 years older than she is.
• Her ex is very controlling and expects perfection.
• She had mental breakdowns during the relationship.
• She doesn’t have much support because maintains distance from her family.
• She doesn’t have a history of mental breakdowns.
• She had postpartum depression.
• There is gaslighting and narcissism in the relationship.
• She has lost herself in this relationship.
• She feels stuck and doesn’t have many resources at her disposal.
• She has wounds that create low-self worth.
• She allows other people to degrade her.
• She had spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical abuse in her childhood.
• She has PTSD when it comes to transitions.
• She feels like a hopeless prisoner in her relationship.
• She has an opportunity to live with a friend.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Change the way she sees the breakup to consider it a relief that she is getting out of a toxic relationship.
• Acknowledge her strength and know she is not broken.
• Realize there is nothing she could have done to change the situation.
• Stop wasting time ruminating over what could be and start thinking about what she will do for herself and her baby.
• Reach out to her friend for logistical support.
• Play offensively, take charge, and have her boundaries up.
• Continue to work with a therapist and advocates who can help her make sound decisions when she is emotionally triggered.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Known as The Enlightened Entrepreneur, Elizabeth Canon champions a new approach to entrepreneurship for women—out of the pressure cooker and onto a path that is more sustainable, life-giving and prosperous.

Many years ago, Elizabeth became an entrepreneur for freedom, but a few years into running her company realized she felt trapped in the business she had created. On the outside, she was successful, but inside she was lacking a sense of deeper satisfaction.

This launched her on a self-directed journey where she invested the equivalent of a Harvard MBA in her own growth and personal discovery. Along the way she learned how to apply what she was finding to her business.

Now, as a Master Coach, Elizabeth helps other women step onto their own paths of enlightened entrepreneurship, so they can grow their businesses without sacrificing what matters most in their lives. Because when you do this, you create a level of success, a business—and a life, that is all your own.

My hunch is you are carrying around something that is very heavy and causes you unnecessary suffering.  This thing blocks you from the experiences and connections you desire. It weighs you down, holds you back and robs you of joy. What is this dreadful thing I am talking about? It is your story. And in this episode of Coaches Corner I give you tips on how to let it go!

In this last episode to support you in feeling supported as you walk into this next decade, Christine offers a more feminine approach and guided meditation for clarifying goals.  This is a must listen if you are feeling a call to be more repetitive and inspired. 

This is a call about imposter syndrome and feeling worthy. Today’s caller, Odysseus, feels that time is running out for him to have a deep, loving relationship or to have the career he desires. He would like guidance on how to ‘fix’ his pattern of stopping and starting things. We work through his limiting beliefs and discuss ways he can begin accepting himself.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode243]

A lot of times imposter syndrome comes from having competing intentions. We have our grown-up conscious self who wants to go out and help people, be a visionary, and have a big business but then we’ve got this younger part of us, our inner child or adolescent, who feels like they’re going to get rejected and doesn’t feel safe. It holds us back and that’s why we often feel like we’re taking one step forward and one step back.

And, for all of you that use words like quitter, lazy, self-sabotage — all those kinds of things — please don’t call yourself those names anymore. Those patterns are protective patterns that think that they’re doing you good so you need to understand them rather than hate on them and judge them and think to change them.

In many ways, it can be harder for men to connect with their inner child. But both men and women have a little child inside of them and he or she doesn’t want the shutdown, old-school masculine or the overwhelmed, unsupported feminine parent. It wants a loving present parent. So, give yourself that gift.

Secure your spot for our live group coaching call on navigating uncertainty and dealing with expectation hangovers on May 6th and the upcoming call on imposter syndrome. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information or to access the library of past and future group calls. Become part of my community for only $20.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have a habit of what feels like quitting?
• Would you say you are a bit of the black sheep of your family?
• Do you want to do something but you just keep getting in your own way?
• Do you have a fix-it approach to personal development?

Odysseus’s Question:

Odysseus would like guidance about a relationship and his finances and career.

Odysseus’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• He feels he quits things too soon and he doesn’t put forth much effort.
• He is a personal growth junkie.
• He has cheated on his ex-girlfriends.
• He battles with his limiting beliefs.
• He has a pattern of low self-worth.
• He doesn’t feel worthy of having a good relationship.
• He didn’t feel wanted by his brothers as a child.
• He was bullied when he was young.
• He has Crohn’s disease.
• He has a distant connection with his father.
• His parents didn’t know how to parent his energy.
• He aspires to be a coach but doubts he will follow through.
• He feels like his time is running out.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• He needs to be kinder and gentler to himself.
• He needs to search inside for who he really is.
• He needs to create another pattern that protects him without limiting himself through reparenting.
• He needs to start listening to his inner child and journal about what he says.
• He needs to move into acceptance of himself and stop the judgments.
• He should read Expectation Hangover and join my Personal Mastery course.

Takeaways:

• Journal with your inner child. Choose different ages and write down both sides of your conversation.
• Look at where imposter syndrome comes up for you and find the competing intention. There is a part of you that wants to move forward and be seen but the scared part of you that wants to protect yourself.
• Celebrate your progress even if it’s just a small step in the direction you want to go.
• Join my Personal Mastery course and get $200 off; use the promo code ‘HEALTH’ at checkout and take advantage of the 12-month payment plan.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

I get a little more personal on this episode of Coaches Corner and talk about some of the amazing coaches and people that have helped me in profound ways.  And often the profound ways have involved a dose of “tough love” which is not always easy to take in.  I share with you how to receive tough-to-hear feedback in a neutral way so that you can shift old patterns and beliefs.  

Suzy Ashworth is a single mum of three children, high school dropout, Hay House author, international keynote speaker, multiple seven-figure success coach, and serial entrepreneur on a mission. She has worked with 1000’s of impact driven leaders in business to create quantum shifts in their lives and their businesses over the last 10 years and Her vision is to help people receive more of what they want - without sacrificing who they really are or the people that love through the four pillars of Infinite Receiving.

This episode is about getting past the fear and pain of rejection. Today’s caller, Lisa, is triggered when she feels not chosen or rejected by others and would like to know why. Christine connects some powerful dots that may help you connect some dots in your life.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode381]

Sometimes we adopt the behavior of a parent we empathize with or a parent we felt sad for. So, when we realize we are tender about something, first, we need to take 100% responsibility for it. Then look at what we need to heal and recognize we need to have self-love and self-care to work with our wounding.

Repetitive triggers or sets of feelings that keep coming up over and over again are pointing us toward healing. Like our bodies letting us know we are sick by getting a fever or runny nose. Our repetitive triggers let us know there is an unresolved wound that needs healing.

Two important things to remember:

When our pain, experience, or our trigger feeling doesn’t really match the reality of what is going on, it always means we are time traveling. It means we always are being reminded of people — usually from our childhood — when our current reaction really doesn’t match the circumstances. Rejection is painful but a lot of times we are not being rejected.

And, we can’t just do our inner work and then tolerate behavior that isn’t great. A lot of people fall into the trap of believing it is their wounding and not letting others take responsibility for their actions. As we heal, we learn to ask for what we need, speak our truth, and authentically self-express.

Check out Christine’s Reflect and Release 2022 podcast and the Call in the New Year podcast being released the first week of January.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you notice that you almost overreact when you feel rejected or your experience often doesn’t match the reality of what’s going on?
• When you feel left out or when you feel not chosen, does it just bring up terrible sadness for you?
• Do you constantly need reassurance that you are chosen, you are loved, and liked?
• Did your parents go through a divorce when you were a child and it is still impacting you today, and possibly impacting your fear of rejection?

Lisa’s Question:

Lisa would like guidance on how to overcome her fear of rejection.

Lisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is triggered when she feels not chosen or left out.
• Her reactions aren’t in-line with what is happening.
• Previous relationships may be triggering her.
• Her parents divorced when she was six.
• She told her dad she wanted to live with her mom.
• Her sense of belonging was rattled.
• She has a sensitivity to rejection.
• She is never sure what is her fear or what is an infraction.
• She tests her partner.
• She modeled her father after not being chosen.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• When she feels triggered, ask herself what her inner child needs, then provide it.
• Ask her partner and friends to support her.
• Have a conversation with her partner about the things she would like.
• Do the Inner Child Workshop.

Takeaways:

• Look at where your pain around rejection may link to a sense of not belonging and how you can give your inner child now what it needed then.

• Consider how you can help heal your fear of rejection by making clear requests of others.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In this episode of "Over It and On With It," Christine Hassler coaches Ariana, who struggles with guilt related to her relationship with her mother and aunt. Ariana grew up in an emotionally challenging environment with caregivers who struggled with alcohol dependency. As an adult, she experiences guilt around maintaining boundaries, especially as her mother and aunt react negatively to her attempts to stand up for herself. Christine helps Ariana understand that her guilt is tied to deep-rooted patterns from her childhood and supports her in releasing feelings that no longer serve her well-being.

Through their conversation, Christine guides Ariana to recognize that she’s breaking a generational pattern. She encourages Ariana to focus on the family she’s building, rather than being consumed by the dynamics she grew up with. This episode explores healing, setting boundaries, and the journey toward liberation from generational patterns.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel guilty when you set boundaries, especially with family members?
• Have you ever felt responsible for the emotional well-being of a parent?
• Are you at a point in your life where you’re ready to break free from family patterns that no longer serve you?
• Do you struggle with guilt about prioritizing your own well-being?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Ariana’s guilt stems from a desire to feel like a “good daughter,” even at the cost of her own peace.
• Christine highlights that Ariana’s guilt is unproductive and rooted in her past survival mechanisms.
• By releasing guilt and setting clear boundaries, Ariana can create a healthier, more peaceful life for herself and her future family.
• The session emphasizes the importance of breaking generational patterns, and choosing to prioritize one’s own emotional well-being.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Reflect on whether your guilt serves a productive purpose or if it’s keeping you tied to unhelpful dynamics.
• Practice boundary-setting with compassion, knowing that prioritizing yourself is not selfish.
• Consider what kind of family environment you want to create and work toward it, regardless of past experiences.
• Release attachment to controlling others’ emotions or well-being, focusing instead on your own growth.

Sponsor: This episode is sponsored by AquaTru. AquaTru offers countertop water purifiers that utilize a four-stage reverse osmosis process, removing 15x more contaminants than typical pitcher filters. With AquaTru, you get clean, great-tasting water free from forever chemicals and endocrine disruptors. Plus, AquaTru purifiers require no installation or plumbing and come with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier by visiting aquatru.com and entering the code "OVERIT" at checkout.

Social Media + Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
• Christine on Facebook
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• @ChristineHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
• @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
• Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services!
• Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
• Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!

This episode is about releasing the judgment of our past decisions. Today’s caller, MJ, was betrayed by her ex-husband and when she divorced, became a single mother of two. As she focused on raising her children, she neglected her sensual side and has not been on a date. She would like guidance on how to reclaim her life and get more out of her interpersonal relationships. We talk a lot about betrayal and holding on to judgment of our past selves.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode344]

Hindsight is 20/20. Many people can relate to making a choice in the past they probably wouldn’t make today that they are still beating themselves up for. When we do that to ourselves we are in the past and we completely block all the amazing things that can come into our present and future.

Sometimes we don’t forgive ourselves because we think that holding on to the judgment of ourselves will keep us from making the same mistake.

In order to have a life and a future, we must forgive our past. Not just the people in the past but the former versions of ourselves in the past. As long as we are beating ourselves up for our past decisions we are fractured. We are at odds with a part of ourselves.

Good luck having a rich, full, amazing life, being connected to our sensuality, having friendships, or having the relationship of our dreams if we are at war with a part of ourselves. We have to be at peace with all parts of ourselves.

Have compassion for yourself and know that you did the best you could in your past. We don’t have to stay at war with ourselves. We can invite all parts of ourselves into our hearts and deeply, truly, and fully forgive ourselves.

If you want to do deeper work and you resonate with my coaching, I encourage you to join Personal Mastery. It is the foundational training of my work. I take you through how to transform and heal on the emotional, mental, behavioral, and spiritual levels. There are so many tips and tools. Personal Mastery is also a community. There are monthly calls and a Facebook group. Get coached by me without being on the show. Go to ChristineHassler.com/mastery. Get $100 off the course by typing in 'OVERIT' as the promo code when ordering.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Was there a choice you made in your past you are still beating yourself up for?
• Have you been betrayed by someone or multiple people and you judge yourself for it?
• Do you have a difficult time connecting to your sensuality or sexuality?
• Have you been focused on raising your kids or your career, or both, and you want to get back out in the dating world but are not sure where to start?

MJ’s Question:

MJ would like guidance on how to break down the emotional wall she put up after a divorce and flourish in her interpersonal relationships.

MJ’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She divorced and became a single mother 10 years ago when her ex betrayed her by having a secret life.
• She has neglected her sensuality.
• She hasn’t been on a date in seven years.
• She has put up an emotional wall when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships.
• She felt ashamed of who she chose to marry.
• She holds a belief that you cannot completely rely on men.
• She was naive when she was younger.
• She hasn’t forgiven herself for marrying her first husband.
• She believed she needed to be punished.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Forgive herself and reclaim the lost part of herself by releasing the shame and judgment.
• Integrate her younger self back into her life.

Takeaway:

• Think about past parts of you that you hold judgment toward and forgive yourself to make yourself whole.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. My coaching call with Regina today uncovers the challenges she is having with grief over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She’s is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life.

Regina experiences an “aha” when she realizes she is able to create the positive future she desires.

Take note of Regina’s tone of voice before my coaching as she describes beating herself up and then again after we discuss her ability to practice self-love.

Regina shared her progress with me in an email after our session. She writes “I’ve started forgiving myself and when I find myself in a negative thought I stop and think “this isn’t self-love”.

It’s a reminder to all of us to live, not just exist. Find something you want to live for, even it seems silly and give yourself permission to love.

Consider/Ask Yourself:
Have you recently been through a loss and can’t seem to move on?
Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve?
Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently?
Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again?

Regina’s Question:
Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted.

Regina’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
● There is a part of her that doesn’t want to “be” anymore
● She doesn’t believe we get more than one love in our lives
● She beats herself up a lot
● She knows if she could create a negative story for herself she is capable of creating a positive story too

How to get over it and on with it:
● Make a choice to start creating a future which is enlivening
● Give yourself permission to live
● Speak to yourself like a loving mother would to a child
● Write out some promises you will keep to yourself

Tools and Takeaways:
● Practice self-love
● Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life
● Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time

Resources:

• Christine Hassler
• Expectation Hangover
• How to Liberate Yourself from Regret Blog
• @christinhassler
• Secret Sauce training and mastermind

This episode is the last in a series of three where Stefanos and I answer questions about love and relationships.  We cover everything from getting over an ex to what to write in an online profile in this episode. 

For more info on our program for women calling in their life partner, visit www.christinehassler.com/bethequeen

Listen in as Christine summarizes the main lessons and blessings we all gained from 2018 and forecasts what is up for us in 2019. She then guides you through a beautiful meditation to gracefully let go of 2018 and begin co-creating 2019.

Welcome to my first official episode. I went through 25 different coaching sessions in preparation for this show and trying to decide which one would be first was difficult because all my callers were amazing. I ended up choosing Anneke’s call because we get into the question “Who am I?” and because of the level of vulnerability in this session. We often feel embarrassed and apologize for our emotions, but I think of vulnerability as strength. Remember, we get to choose who we are and not being who we are can be suffocating.  We are not defined by other people’s views of us. We are all born with natural gifts from the divine. It’s up to us to embrace them and use them.   Consider/Ask Yourself:

Who am I?

Do you feel like you are really living authentically?

Are you fully expressing who you are or are you being a version of yourself?

Do you struggle with loneliness?

Are you in touch with your emotions?

Are you concerned about what other people think of you? Anneke’s Question: Anneke is about to make a big career change and would like to know how to be open and honest about who she really is and to shift from her pattern of keeping herself small and not seen. Anneke’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

● Acknowledging she sugarcoats her difficult emotions.

● She doesn’t want to be a burden on others.

● Loneliness is has been her friend because it’s when she gives herself a break.

● It’s ok for other people not to like it when she is her authentic self.

● Recognizing she is staying in her comfort zone because those emotions are familiar. How to get over it and on with it:

● Try taking actions to trust yourself and be consistently authentic.

● Don’t compare yourself to other people, embrace your own essence.

● Be willing to remember the essence of who you truly are.

● Invite spirit into your space.

● Practice self-forgiveness.

● Don’t be defined by what other people have told you about you. Tools and Takeaways:

● Write out who you are, what is your unique essence? Then, for 30 days get in front of a mirror and make “I am” statements with your answers.

● Pick 2-3 people to practice intimacy and authenticity with.

● Write this sentence “Sometimes I pretend I am (fill in the blank) but I am not”.

● Write a thank you letter to loneliness for giving you time alone. Resources: Light Worker Workshop Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Coaching

Listen in as Christine wraps up 2017 and guides you through a beautiful meditation to bring 2017 to an intentional completion and begin to co-create 2018.

This episode is about how to heal self-worth issues. Today’s caller, Samantha, was dismissed by her father and never feels worthy of anything in her life. She asks for guidance on how to heal, and to connect more deeply with her children. We discuss how she can release her self-judgment, replace it with compassion, and make it an opportunity to heal her inner child.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode338]

For the most part, anything that happens before the age of 12, makes us into the adults we are. If we don’t feel wanted by our parents, the people who are supposed to want us and love us, it creates a big core wound. When we have low self-worth we think we are a burden and we deprive people in our lives of showing up and giving to us.

If we commit to personal development, we have to let go of self-judgment. We will not transform and heal if we judge ourselves. Love and judgment can not be in the same place. We can love the part of ourselves that judges us because we know it is just trying to protect us, but if we are frustrated with ourselves, transformation won’t happen.

When judgment and frustration come up, know that it is our inner child calling out to us to meet their needs.

Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute closes on March 2, 2022. It is a nine-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching tools and skills but also doing your own inner work.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you struggle with self-worth?
• Did you have a dismissive parent and felt you were in their way?
• Do you have a lot of awareness but things are not changing?
• As a parent, do you have trouble connecting to your children or your inner child?

Samantha’s Question:

Samantha has a core wound of not feeling worthy. She would like guidance on how to shift it and connect more intimately with her children.

Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She received answers from the people closest to her she didn’t expect to hear.
• She has never felt worthy of anything.
• She has done personal development work from a young age.
• Her father was angry and dismissed her.
• She wants to be unapologetically herself.
• She is frustrated to have awareness but is unable to shift.
• She judges herself for how she feels.
• She feels like a robot and sensitive, yet she compartmentalizes her feelings.
• She feels she puts a target on her back for someone to attack her negatively.
• She suppresses her feelings.
• She is being her dad to herself.
• She finds it hard to connect with her daughter.
• She didn’t feel protected by her mother.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Replace her judgment and frustration with compassion.
• Connect with her inner child and ask her what she needs.
• Make a self-honoring choice to not see her father anymore.
• Use her judgments as opportunities to parent her inner child.

Takeaways:

• The last live inner child workshop is an evergreen program. Go to ChristineHassler.com/innerchild to get the entire workshop. It is just like attending the live event and you can go through it at your own pace.
• If you have a self-worth issue, ask people for what you need and let them show up for you.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about bringing more harmony into your life. Today’s caller, Brian, loves his work but is searching for more work-life balance. He enjoys being the person who is always available to others but takes little time for himself. This episode is enlightening for those who get validation from being the reliable, go-to person.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode270]

There is no such thing as work-life balance. They are not two separate things. Work is part of life. It’s about putting more harmony in your life by doing things to balance out the huge time suckers. If you work a lot or are with your kids a lot, what are you doing to balance it out? Have you created boundaries to make time for yourself? Do you have a self-care practice? Is it your once-a-week therapy session? What things are you doing to balance out the things in your life that are time-consuming?

The ego generally gets a bad wrap in the personal development space. But, we all have an ego. We all need to feel like we matter. Every human needs to feel important. The ego is how we get validation. We just need to be careful that validation doesn’t become linked to our identity.

Every pattern we are involved in has costs and payoffs. Does the imbalance in your life cost you more than it pays out?

This is an intense time so be mindful of what you allow into your mind. Choose what you want your individual experience to be. In November, I am launching the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like you need more work-life balance?
• Do you often feel like you can’t get away from your responsibilities? Do you believe that if you set boundaries or are not available or responsible all the time, things will fall apart?
• Do you relate to being the go-to person?
• Do you get validation for being the go-to-person? Does it make you feel needed?

Brian’s Question:

Brian would like guidance on how to bring more work-life balance into his world.

Brian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• He works a lot of hours.
• He loves his job and likes to make things work.
• He enjoys being a reliable person.
• He feels pressured to always be available.
• He values being a good resource at work.
• He would like to move toward being a leader.
• His life is mostly about other people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Expand his purpose with self-reflection.
• Pay attention to his self-talk.
• Be kind and gentle with himself.
• Create a schedule of when he is available.
• Adopt a five-minute morning meditation or breathwork practice.

Takeaways:

• Think about what you are doing; does it give you a sense of identity and purpose? What is it costing you?
• Is it time to evolve out of being the people pleaser or the go-to person?
• Think about the boundaries you need to put in place to break some patterns.
• What are the simple, non-time-consuming things you can set up that weigh a lot and will make a big difference?

Sponsor:

ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In this episode Christine explains why people pleasing is unhealthy and waste of your precious time and energy.  Learn how to stop the selfish, yes selfish!, pattern of people pleasing and be self honoring instead!!

My longtime friend and the #1 resource I recommend when it comes to shifting your relationship with money, Kate Northrup, joins me today for an insightful and inspiring conversation about money.

As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, and mother, Kate Northrup has built a multimedia digital platform called The Origin Company that reaches hundreds of thousands globally. She’s committed to supporting ambitious women to light up the world without burning themselves out. Kate teaches data and soul-driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money, and experiencing less stress. She’s the author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and the creator of the Do Less Planner System. Kate’s work has been featured by Oprah Daily, The Today Show, Yahoo! Finance, Women’s Health, Glamour, The NY Times, Harvard Business Review, and more. She lives with her husband and their daughters in Miami.

You can access her FREE workshop “Plenty” which will help you Clear Your Money Blocks and Discover True Prosperity While Positively Impacting the World here: Christinehassler.com/relaxedmoney

We are all leaders, no matter what our job is. And we all have leadership styles that may or may not be the most aligned or effective.

Dr. Kirstin Ferguson joins to discuss how we can lead others and ourselves from a place of love.  She is a prominent leadership expert and a highly experienced business leader in her own right.

Beginning her career as an officer in the Royal Australian Air Force, Kirstin has held roles that have included CEO of an International consulting firm and was appointed acting chair and deputy chair of the Australia Broadcasting Corporation by the Australian Prime Minister. She holds a PhD in Leadership and is an adjunct professor at QUT business school. 

Manisha Thakor has worked in financial services for more than thirty years, with an emphasis on women’s economic empowerment and financial wellbeing. A nationally recognized thought-leader in this space, Thakor has been featured in a wide range of publications including the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, NPR, PBS, CNN, Real Simple, and Women’s Health. Prior to writing MoneyZen, Thakor co-authored two personal finance books for women in their twenties and thirties. Today her work focuses on helping people of all ages to balance financial health and emotional wealth. Thakor earned her MBA from Harvard Business School, her BA from Wellesley College and is both a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). She splits her time between Portland, Oregon and rural Maine. Her website is MoneyZen.com. Manisha's Media Reel

Some women are childfree by choice while others are childless due to circumstances, not choice. Lana Manikowski: Certified Life Coach, Keynote Speaker, Infertility Activist and Founder of “The Other's Day Brunch” is on a mission to show that infertile women can create the life of their dreams, even when it didn’t turn out as planned.

When a 7-year fertility journey ended without a child - and donor egg & adoption wasn’t for her - Lana yearned for a community who could understand the loneliness, self judgment and grief around navigating a childless future. When she couldn’t find one, she established in 2021 by launching  The “So Now What?” Podcast.   

In her coaching practice, Lana helps women navigate a life unexpected. Her 4-part coaching foundation helps guide women through the rediscovery of their purpose, meaning and joy, so they can build a future they truly love.

Learn more here: https://lanamanikowski.com/

As an Author, Speaker, Trainer, and Executive Coach Steve Sisgold has spent the past 25 years studying and teaching the relationship between beliefs held in the body and success, how the body “billboard” sends micro messages that affect authentic communication and how self-awareness lowers stress and boosts peak performance. He has amazing books, Whole Body Intelligence and What’s Your Body Telling You? and is a breakthrough coach to many best-selling self help authors, Grammy and Oscar winners, CEO’s, a Major League baseball President, as well as Wellness and Business leaders. Prior to what he is doing now Steve Sisgold applied the principles he teaches, in the business world. He owned and directed a successful Advertising and PR firm, and was #1 of 500 sales people and a national sales trainer with a Fortune 100 company. Learn more about Steve here: http://wholebodyintelligence.com/

In this quickie episode Christine shares tips for how to get out of limbo and make a choice so that you can move forward. If you are struggling over a decision, don't miss this one!

In this episode I share my fertility and pregnancy journey.  My intention is to share information that may be helpful and inspiring. I've received a lot of questions about getting pregnant in my 40s and I've been hesitant to share since fertility is such a tender topic and I have deep compassion for anyone going through fertility or pregnancy challenges. Please know you are not doing anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. I hope this episode is helpful.

This call is about asking for what you want in a relationship and if you don’t get it how to leave without feeling guilty. Today’s caller, Brooke, is deciding whether or not to leave her marriage. She is struggling with guilt and obligation due to a major expectation hangover that came up after they were married. The big picture in ending a relationship with someone who is going through a difficult time like an expectation hangover, a physical

This is a call about how to heal anger and discover the passion and creativity that lie underneath. Today’s caller, Keira, feels she got the short end of the stick in life. She has done a lot of personal growth work and introspection but she is still angry and sad and wants guidance on how to find her way through her feelings.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode241]

As children or adolescents, we make unconscious vows of ‘I will never be like mom,’ or ‘I’ll never be like dad,’ or ‘I will never be like that person who teased me,’ but just making that vow or that promise is not enough. If you don’t heal the wounds that perpetuated making that vow, either you become like them or you go so far in the opposite direction that it becomes a shadow side.

If we’re angry all the time or angry at the world it breeds a deep sense of low self-worth. People who are angry generally have low self-worth because unprocessed anger creates an intense sense of separation. Which is another reason I’m so passionate about helping people process anger in a healthy way.

Anger misdirected is dangerous but anger directed in a healthy way can be deeply healing. Underneath that anger is where we often find our passion and our purpose.

If you feel shut down or you don’t know what your purpose is or what you are supposed to do, do anger release work to see what is underneath your anger. You will become a clearer channel for ideas and innovation.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you ever feel like life just doesn’t work out for you to matter how hard you try?
• Do you feel angry and/or sad and no matter how much personal development work you do?
• When it comes to emotions in your home growing up what did you observe?
• Have you been told you’re too emotional or too reactive or too irrational or *fill in the blank* and you're questioning whether or not it is true?

Keira’s Question:

Keira would like guidance on how to let go of her anger so she can enjoy life.

Keira’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is emotionally addicted to being angry.
• She judges herself for not being able to change.
• She wants to enjoy life.
• Her father let her down.
• She judges her mother for not being strong for her.
• She feels her older brother let her down.
• She gets triggered easily.
• She believes her soul is a passionate one.
• She is yearning to uncover her creativity.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She needs to be grateful for how her anger has served her.
• She needs to learn how to channel and use her anger.
• She needs to join my Personal Mastery course and read Expectation Hangover.
• She needs to dive deeper into her wounding to free herself of it.
• She needs to share her feelings with her mother by writing letters she doesn’t intend to send.

Takeaways:

• Get an excerpt of the temper tantrum technique from my book, Expectation Hangover as a free gift at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
• Join Stef and me twice per week, as we guide you through breathwork to release stress and fear, meditation to shift your state, and then answer your questions to support you. Visit ChristineHassler.com/freecall.
• Find your voice during this time, whatever that means to you. Don’t be too passive or too reactive. Find your middle ground.
• Channel your feelings into writing, speaking, dancing, cooking, creating; something non-result-based that is just fun.
• Join my Personal Mastery course and get $200 off; use the promo code ‘HEALTH’ at checkout and take advantage of the monthly payment plan.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

The essence of this call is helping caller, Kathryn, see that empowerment and having a vision for her life comes from feeling vulnerable and safe. She is looking for others to see her and for external validation. During the call, we dive into the root of why she has so much trouble getting over relationships that have ended. Most of our time is spent on how she can find safety inside of herself instead of how to get over someone.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode193]

If you would like to receive coaching from me sign up for my monthly group coaching calls for only $20. The next call is May 28th.

And, there are a few spots available for my intimate and exclusive Retreat in Maui at Lumeria. This is the first retreat for Men, Women, and Couples. Come and experience the profound shift of balancing your masculine and feminine energies. It is part of evolving and becoming a healthier human being.

Take advantage of the Three Free Training videos I just completed at ChristineHassler.com/videoworkshop.

Sponsors:Organifi— is an organic superfood supplement line that makes quality, trusted nutrition convenient and accessible. Their Green Juice and Turmeric Glow is something I use consistently. If you want a day’s worth of nutrition all in one easy to drink portion, even on the go, the Green Juice and Turmeric Glow are perfect for you. It is an investment in your health! Use the code ‘OVERIT’ to receive 20% off your order.

Resources:Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehasslerChristine’s Personal Mastery CourseChristine’s Signature RetreatChristine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches CornerChristine on FacebookChristine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover@ChristinHassler on Twitter@ChristineHassler on InstagramAssist@ChristineHassler.com — To get on the waiting list for this show.

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year’s ritual and guides you through a meditation / visualization to consciously call in 2022.

You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

Inspired by many listener questions and national mental health day on Oct 10th, Christine shares her personal journey with overcoming depression and managing anxiety in this episode. She offers insight on what causes depression and/or anxiety as well as tips for better mental health.

This call is about overcoming apathy and releasing anger. Today’s caller, Ron, was constantly shamed by a volatile father. As an adult, he feels detached and numb. He uses apathy as a coping mechanism. We work through how he can release his feelings and do inner child work. I offer some techniques and strategies to help him regain a healthy masculine identity.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode273]

When men have a volatile father, they become passive or hyper-aggressive. They go to extremes. They can become the alpha-dog and lash out or they become passive with emotional eating. It is a common father wound for men to have a degree of shame that goes in either direction.

Shame is toxic and the way it impacts us all as humans is similar and different. How it impacts men is particularly detrimental, for women as well, but I've seen it impact men in a way where they lose touch with their masculine energy and become more passive in life.

It is nearly impossible to come out of being raised in a fear-based home, having a volatile parent, and never feeling like you got the love, affection, and approval you needed and grow up having no issues with it. As you might intellectually want yourself to be different, until you go back and do the healing work and dive deep, you are going to find yourself in the pantry sneak eating or whatever your version of that is.

If you are not living the life you want to be living, it is just feedback that there is more work to do. Inner child wounding is sometimes tough to get at because we bury it so deep. There is no shame and being willing to forgive the person is the first step.

If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
• Are you chronologically an adult and keep up with your grown-up responsibilities, but inside you don’t feel like one?
• Are you mostly passive except for those occasional moments you lose your temper?
• Did you get the love, attention, and affection you truly need and deserve from your parents, especially your father?

Ron’s Question:

Ron does not feel comfortable in his skin and he feels he does not belong. He would like guidance on how to break through the patterns.

Ron’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• He practices negative self-talk.
• He doesn’t feel like an adult, even though he is responsible.
• He is afraid he will get in trouble for what he does.
• He hides his eating habits.
• His father was quick to anger and volatile.
• He feels detached from his family.
• He has numbed himself and feels apathy toward his parents.
• He craves feeling and pleasure.
• He does try to get his anger out.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Connect to his aggression, rage, and anger to get to the hurt.
• Do the Temper Tantrum Technique from Expectation Hangover.
• Write an ‘F-U’ letter to his parents he doesn’t send.
• Tap into his masculine energy to find his fire, his warrior to allow him to feel again.
• Find his inner coach voice, not his inner critic.

Takeaways:

• If you aren't feeling like an adult, think about where you got frozen in childhood. Many people freeze at a certain age even though we can do adult things.
• Do emotional processing. Use this free anger release download, ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.
• If you find yourself sneak eating or the kind of behavior you do in the shadows to soothe yourself or give you momentary pleasure and escapism when you feel the urge to do it, put your hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and ask your little one what they need.
• If eating is a coping mechanism for you, listen to my “Coaches Corner with Samantha Skelly, Hungry for Happiness”
• Reconnect to your little one and give them a chance to express their feelings. Be the parent to yourself you never had.

Sponsor:

Rothy’s — Get your new favorite stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy’s. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the newest colors and latest styles from Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about obsessive thinking and anxiety. Today’s caller, Megan, wants to know why she obsesses over things such as decisions, relationships, and her body image. She would like guidance on how to shift her patterns but feels she may always have anxiety. We dial back the clock to discover why she adopted it as a coping strategy and work through how she can empower herself so her anxiety can be an alarm instead of a constraint.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode320]

One of the best things the mind does to deal with anxiety in the body is to obsess because it is a distraction and keeps us from feeling the physiological discomfort in the body. Anxiety is energy that is fast buzzing energy. This frenetic energy is in our minds and our nervous systems. It can be really overwhelming so we develop ways to do something with it or to turn it into something. When we obsess over things and think about things over and over and over again, it’s the way the mind is trying to deal with all that frenetic energy.

Obsessive thinking is a coping strategy. If we look at those patterns as alarm systems, have compassion for ourselves, and understand there is nothing wrong with us, it is easier to shift patterns like anxiety and obsessive thinking that are not serving us.

The hardest things to change about ourselves are the things that are protecting us. The patterns cling to us because they believe they are helping us like they had in our childhood.

If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. In late November, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last live event until at least next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Sign up early and get access to the Bonus Call on 11/11/21.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are there things in your life you obsess about or just can’t stop thinking about?
• Do you obsess about your body, what people are thinking about you, or your dating experiences?
• Did you grow up with an anxious parent?
• Do you doubt your self-worth?
• Do you fear you will never be able to change the patterns you don’t like or judge yourself over?

Megan’s Question:

Megan has a pattern of obsessing over things in her life and would like guidance on how to shift her obsessive thinking and to become more empowered.

Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She obsesses over body image issues, men, and romantic relationships.
• She feels her anxiety is robbing her sense of inner peace.
• She has done personal development work.
• She believes she has always had anxiety.
• Her mother was hard to predict and inconsistent.
• She gets frustrated trying to shift her patterns.
• She fears she will always have anxiety.
• She doesn’t speak up for herself or set self-honoring boundaries.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Be compassionate and make friends with her obsessions.
• Make a list of the things she is certain of and has control over in her life.
• Surrender and accept that her anxiety is trying to protect her from getting hurt.
• Focus on meeting her needs and speaking her truth by empowering herself.
• Listen to the Coaches Corner How to Navigate, Resolve, and Prevent Conflict with Jayson Gaddis.

Takeaways:

• When you feel anxiety, consider the highest purpose of your obsessiveness. How is it serving you?
• Do not put a label on yourself. Empower yourself to react to things differently.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

When it comes to making a choice, is better to listen to our head or our heart? I explore this question in today’s episode of Coach’s Corner

Alyssa Nobriga is a renowned speaker, coach, and entrepreneur who’s trained thousands under her methodology. She’s the founder and CEO of The Institute of Coaching Mastery and holds two master’s degrees, one in Clinical Somatic Psychotherapy and another in Spiritual Psychology.

She’s been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Inc., and highlighted as an expert coach by Deepak Chopra. Her cutting-edge work is a unique blend of personal development, healing arts, and business strategy that’s reached hundreds of thousands around the world, supporting them in achieving proud transformation from the inside out.

Elisha Tichelle is an alchemist of the nervous system for visionary leaders and heart-centered entrepreneurs. Following a 20-year career as a somatic researcher and professor, Elisha now supports her clients to expand their nervous systems so their work can make a greater impact in the world - without burning out. Elisha’s facilitation guides an expansion of nervous system regulation, moving people out of operating from positions of stress and overwhelm into embodied states of flow, connection, and mastery. Elisha is the ‘behind the scenes’ priestess to some of the world's most successful and well-known coaches. Through her training program ‘Evolution,’ she guides space holders, facilitators, and coaches into integrating nervous system work in their business and life.

This episode is about turning your challenges into your calling. Today’s caller, Dale, is looking for guidance on how to reach out to clients to support a new coaching business. Dale’s unique gift is that he has schizophrenia. He wants to help families of people with schizophrenia to help them see their family member’s illness in a different light. Mental health disorders still have a stigma to them and Dale is an incredible example of someone who chooses to thrive in the face of both adversity and sh

This call is about being able to meet your own needs. Today’s caller, Melissa, had a challenging childhood and is being triggered in her current relationship. She would like guidance on how to communicate her needs to her partner. We work through how her triggers are serving her and the expression of a need versus the expectation of a need to be filled by someone else.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode261]

We often choose spouses and relationship partners who help us heal unmet needs and wounds from our parents.

As humans, on a metaphysical, even spiritual level, we need other people. And, we need people to meet certain needs. And, when we learn how to meet our needs ourselves we get better at communicating healthy needs to others.

We live in an interdependent world, yet we are sovereign beings. This means we must take an inside-out approach. First, we have to be independent in fulfilling our own needs internally and not project them on others. When we understand how to communicate our needs, not from a needy place but a place of bonding in our relationships, we can then connect and express with others toward interdependence.

There is the difference between being needy, or trying to get someone else to fill a need, and clearly expressing our needs to another person in a way that we can teach them how to meet it.

If you missed the Virtual Inner Child Workshop Level 1, you can still listen to it. It is necessary if you want to join in for Level 2, on Sept. 25-27. Go to ChristineHassler.com/innerchildbundle to purchase both Level 1 and Level 2. Recordings of both workshops will be available until October 26, 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• As a child, did you ever feel abandoned or neglected?
• Do you get triggered in your relationships when you feel someone else is not meeting your needs or showing up the way you like them to?
• Do you have a pattern of reaching out to others to get your needs met?
• Can you say without a shadow of a doubt you know how to meet your own needs?

Melissa’s Question:

Melissa doesn't completely understand her needs and feelings. She wants guidance on how to recognize her boundaries and give herself what she needs when she is triggered.

Melissa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She wants to understand her feelings and needs.
• She projects her abandonment wounds on to her husband.
• She is aware of her abandonment wounding.
• She was left alone while her parents comforted her younger brother.
• She never felt supported by her parents.
• She is triggered by her husband’s attention to his work.
• She attended the Inner Child Workshop, Level 1.
• She reached out to her mother but was disappointed by her response.
• She wants to establish a connection with her mother.
• She feels overburdened with managing her emotions.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Do the empty chair process from Expectation Hangover.
• Write her mother a letter she does not intend to send.
• Use her triggers to discover how she can meet her own needs.

Takeaways:

• Think about the things you want from other people and make a list of your unmet needs and see how you may not be doing those things for yourself.
• Learn how to communicate your needs to people in your life.
• Join us for the Inner Child Workshop, Level 1, and Level 2.

Sponsor:

Jenni Kayne — If you love clothes that are both stylish and super comfortable with a dash of refined simplicity, you will love Jenni Kayne. Make getting dressed the easiest part of your routine with Jenni Kayne’s modern essentials. Use the code ‘OVERIT’ for 20% off at checkout!

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Ramit Sethi is the NYT best selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich and host of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich Podcast where he speaks directly with couples about how to build a better relationship with money and with each other.

Listen in as Christine answers questions on money and prosperity. Learn how your self worth impacts your net worth and much more!

Remember the early bird discount for Christine's Spring Retreat ends Nov 30. To apply go to https://christinehassler.com/spring-retreat/

And attention health coaches!! Register for a free Masterclass training for current or aspiring health coaches here: https://christinehassler.com/primalhealthcoach

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Kim, who opens up about her struggles with self-worth, trust, and negative self-talk stemming from childhood emotional neglect. Through the session, Christine guides Kim in exploring how childhood neglect shaped her present-day beliefs and behaviors, emphasizing the importance of connecting to a higher power for healing and self-acceptance. 

Christine introduces a spiritual perspective to help Kim release the weight of her past and reconnect with unconditional love from the universe, offering her a powerful reframe to live a more fulfilled, connected life. This episode serves as an inspiring reminder that healing is a journey and that self-compassion is essential in managing unresolved wounds from the past.

Consider/Ask Yourself:
• Do you feel emotionally neglected in your past, leaving you with lingering self-doubt or negative self-talk?
• Are you seeking ways to reconnect with yourself and your inner child?
• Do you struggle to find confidence in expressing yourself in personal or professional situations?
• How do you nurture your spiritual or higher self?

Key Insights & A-Ha’s from Kim's Session:
• Kim realizes that her struggles with confidence and expression stem from a need for external validation that was absent in childhood.
• Christine reframes Kim's childhood experience as an opportunity to learn deeper self-compassion and connection to her spiritual self.
• Kim acknowledges that her journey involves seeking love and validation from within, especially through spiritual practice.
• The session highlights that healing doesn't mean "fixing" the past but learning to thrive despite it, embracing spirituality as a source of unconditional love.

How to Get Over It & On With It:
• Recognize when past wounds surface in current situations and meet them with compassion instead of judgment.
• Reconnect with your inner child through self-kindness and by seeking nurturing practices that feed your soul.
• Explore spiritual practices that resonate with you to feel loved, seen, and held by something greater than yourself.
• Practice self-acceptance, knowing that thriving despite past experiences is a powerful form of healing.

Sponsor:

Organifi: Christine loves Organifi’s products, especially their immunity blend, ideal for the colder months. Get 20% off all Organifi products by visiting Organifi and using promo code "OVERIT" at checkout.

Social Media + Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
• Christine on Facebook
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• @ChristineHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
• @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
• Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services!
• Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
• Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!

This episode is about navigating a different path than your family. Today’s caller, George, grew up in a healthy family environment but always felt he was on a different spiritual path than the rest of his family. He asks for guidance about accepting differences and for practices to heal his inner child. If you are a generational pattern breaker, or if you are choosing a different path than the one your family is on, this episode offers guidance for you too.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode384]

For many generational pattern breakers, we are conflicted between our soul path and our family lineage. We are born knowing we are on a different path. We all come into life with our level of consciousness, the beliefs we adhere to, and our soul path. It may be difficult to understand when all the other members of a family are committed to something we may not be committed to. We have the family we are born into and then we find our soul family.

When we choose something different, it can feel terrifying to break out of the family norm. One of our survival needs is wired to our nervous system and the part of our nervous system that is connected to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn is belonging. When we sever any type of tie to family, even if we can logically understand it, it still wakes up our need for belonging. It can bring up feelings of guilt or shame.

We believe that our family should be the ones who know us best but sometimes they are not. And, that is okay. It doesn’t mean we can’t love them or have a relationship with them, it just means that we find our soul family in other places.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like the outsider in your family or the generational pattern breaker?
• Have you made a choice your family doesn’t approve of?
• Is your family trying to fix you, trying to convince you to come back to their religion, business, or hometown?
• Do you feel like your own flesh and blood doesn’t really understand you?

George’s Question:

George wants to know how to navigate and set boundaries within the relationship he has with his family.

George’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• He was raised in a Christian household yet his current spiritual path differs.
• He feels distant from his family.
• He wants his family to accept him for who he is.
• He asked his family to respect his spiritual journey.
• He had a healthy upbringing but felt misunderstood.
• He feels like an outsider for leaving the rural community that his family lives and worships in.
• He realizes he is living his life for himself and not his family.
• He is having a difficult time accepting that there are issues they will not be able to connect on.
• For a long time, he associated spirituality with the Christian religion.
• He is currently experiencing a higher level of spiritual growth.
• In some ways, he has always felt different and unique in his family.
• His inner child is reluctant to let his feelings go.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Know that the connection he wants with his family may not be possible.
• Understand no spiritual path is better, they are just different.
• Have a conversation with his inner child who didn’t feel understood and have compassion and love for himself.
• Enjoy his relationship with his family without talking about religion or spirituality.
• Practice dominant handwriting, the empty chair process, or journaling when talking with his inner child.
• Allow his spiritual practice to lead him through his experience.

Sponsor:

Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, improving well-being, and increasing high-quality sleep. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about finding the tools to help you better deal with trauma and breaking the cycle of numbing. Today’s caller, Charmaine, has had multiple traumas in her life and uses marijuana as a coping strategy. But this isn’t a call about stopping marijuana use. When discussing any type of addiction or numbing device, you have to uncover the deeper issue.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode229]

From my point of view, we can’t deal with addiction effectively unless we deal with the core issue that is creating the addiction or coping strategy. Most addictions are coping strategies for when we didn’t have the tools to deal with the drama and trauma that’s happened in our life. Addiction to anything is a symptom of a deeper issue.

When we speak of addiction, we often just think of drugs and alcohol but there are so many other things we use as coping and numbing strategies that become addictions. Sex, gaming, gambling, food, and even things like work, falling in love, and caretaking. Basically, anything we use to get us out of feeling our pain and feeling our big feelings is a coping strategy that can turn into an addiction.

Because the way coping strategies work, is you have to keep upping the ante. The feelings get bigger and bigger and then it takes more energy to suppress them. And, there is not much of a difference between emotional, mental, and physical addiction. Because mental and emotional pain is most likely the cause of physical addiction.

If you feel like you are addicted to something worse than marijuana, know that you can get to the other side of it and that judging yourself will not get you anywhere. It won’t get you to stop being mean to yourself. The part of you that is reaching out for the coping strategy needs love and compassion. It needs to be healed. You probably developed your coping strategy because you had no better tools.

Remember, there is not one style of therapy or coaching that is better than others. It’s about what feels right to you. When it comes to working with any therapist or coach it’s either a ‘hell yeah’ or ‘hell no’! Better tools are available but know that it requires facing your feelings and some of the demons you buried a long time ago.

To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• When it comes to feeling your pain, do you actually feel it or do you numb or distract yourself?
• Did you have parents who were super present and attentive?
• Have you done things you are ashamed of?
• Are you addicted to a substance or numbing technique like pot, alcohol, caretaking, overworking, or food?

Charmaine’s Question:

Charmaine used marijuana to help her cope during a difficult time but would like to stop but doesn’t know how.

Charmaine’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She was in the military for 13 years and in an unhealthy marriage.
• She was kicked out of the military for drug use.
• She uses pot to numb herself from the trauma she experienced in her past.
• She feels shame and judges herself.
• Her parents neglected her.
• She was sexually molested when she was a child.
• She has seen a therapist who recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
• She has employed numbing mechanisms for her whole life.
• She has remarried a wonderful human being.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She needs to find a long-term, quality therapist that resonates with her.
• She needs a safe space to feel her feelings.
• She shouldn’t quit pot until she has the techniques to deal with her emotions.

Takeaways:

• Be honest and compassionate with yourself if you are using a coping strategy that may border on addiction or is a full-blown addiction.
• If you feel as if you want a guide or therapist, pray about it. Set the intention to manifest the best healer for you.
• You have a divine appointment with the people in your life who are supposed to guide you. Trust that they are there.
• Join my Personal Mastery Course or my Spring Retreat.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

This episode is about honoring emotions with compassion and acceptance. Today’s caller, Olivia, is going through a unique situation. She is feeling confused by her emotions and would like guidance on how to feel her feelings without going into “victim” and how to grieve after a loss.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode288]

It is normal for emotions to be confusing. We live in a mental, logical, linear-based world where we want certainty. We want things to make sense. But life isn’t linear, there aren’t five steps to make every sense of everything. Life is messy. It’s complicated. It’s a journey. Especially when it comes to emotions, we don’t want to try to manage them, understand them, or know why. We just need to learn how to feel and move through them. But, often, our mind gets in the way. This is the biggest reason so many people deal with repression, suppression, depression and then have to distract themselves or develop addictions. It’s because we don’t know how to be with our emotions.

Most of the time, when we are crying or feeling we are analyzing it. Maybe not allowing ourselves to be in the emotion and ride the waves. One wave could have twenty different feelings in it. It is about letting yourself go with compassion.

If you want to evolve and be free of some of the stuff that is weighing you down, you have to feel. We only get lost in our feelings when we judge them or when we go into “victim.”

Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It’s not about working on yourself. It’s about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. ChristineHassler.com/innerchild — March 19–21, 2021. Listen to past group coaching calls at ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you often feel confused about your feelings?
• Do you feel guilty about feeling the way you feel?
• Do you put other people’s needs above yours, making their feelings and tending to their feelings and their concerns more of a priority?
• Do you feel overwhelmed with a current emotion? Are you scared if you go into it you will lose yourself?
• Are you going through a loss of any kind? A loss of a person you love, a pet, job, a dream?

Olivia’s Question:

Olivia has had major heartbreak and loss and is confused about how to feel.

Olivia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She ended a long-term relationship and then her ex married quickly after.
• Her ex passed away tragically within a year of their breakup.
• She feels stuck in her emotions.
• She feels confused and guilty about being upset.
• She looks to other people about how to feel.
• She didn’t attend his funeral.
• She is a people pleaser and puts others first.
• She can fall into “victim” and judge herself.
• She buries her anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Give herself permission to feel all of her feelings.
• Allow herself to grieve.
• Honor what she is feeling with compassion.
• Realize she may never get an apology.
• Perform a personal memorial service for her ex.
• Dig up her anger to release it with the Anger Release technique.
• Practice the Empty Chair process from Personal Mastery.

Takeaways:

• Practice riding the waves with compassion for yourself and others.
• Allow emotions to be confusing. You don’t need to understand them mentally. The body and heart understand emotions, not your mind.
• Consider joining us for the Inner Child workshop on March 19–21.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In this episode, I share about a free video workshop series I made for you that dives deeper into some of the questions I have been getting from listeners over the last year.  Jill Esplin also joins me to talk about my Personal Mastery Course and how you can get ongoing teaching, support, and coaching from me.  Lots of great info in this episode!! If you have wanted to learn more from me, make sure to listen 

http://www.christinehassler.com/videoworkshop

This episode is about trusting our intuition and keeping others’ voices out of our heads. Today’s caller, Hannah, has made a clear decision to do something for herself. Yet, doubts are creeping in due to the opinions of others. If you have a gut feeling about something and other people are doubting you or you want to get to the place where you can trust your own inner knowing, this call will be extremely helpful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode373]

You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. If your decisions directly impact others, then a discussion is necessary. But, when you make personal decisions that only impact you, it is nobody else’s business but yours.

And on the flip side, we need to respect other people’s choices even if we wouldn’t make the same ones.

When people are not respecting our boundaries, it is imperative we create a distance from them. And, just because someone is a family member, doesn’t give them the right to have unlimited opinions about our lives and to know everything about us. Other people’s voices should not be louder than our own intuition.

Join Stefanos live for Breathwork for the Feminine. It is designed for women only. Stefanos leads the breathwork and then he and Christine both do coaching and processing afterward. Join them live in Austin on November 7th, 2022, from 6‒9 CST, or join virtually — Go to Stefanossifandos.com/feminine to register. 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Have you recently made a decision that others are doubting and you wonder if you should be doubting it yourself?
• Do you have a habit of people-pleasing, being a chameleon, or going against what you want?
• Do you doubt that you have intuition and don’t know how to connect to it?
• Do you need to have stronger boundaries with certain people in your life?

Hannah’s Question:

Hannah is on the brink of a scheduled surgery. She knows this is the right choice for her but would like clarity about the pressure she feels.

Hannah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She’s never wanted children.
• She has a tubal ligation procedure scheduled.
• Her inner voice is telling her she is broken.
• She’s done personal development work for some time.
• She is the only child in her family who isn’t married or doesn’t want children.
• Having the procedure feels self-honoring.
• Others around her question her judgment.
• She struggles when making decisions for herself.
• She feels pressure about not having rights over her body.
• She felt a sense of relief after making a decision.
• This may be the first decision she has made based on what she wants.
• She is a people-pleaser.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Make choices without checking in with others.
• Stop putting her needs aside in favor of the needs of others.
• Practice making quicker decisions and go with her gut.

Takeaways:

• Stay out of other people’s business.
• Keep others out of your business.
• Listen to your gut.
• Don’t let people’s voices be louder than your own voice.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Rick Hanson (New York Times bestselling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha’s Brain) is known for a trademark blend of neuroscience, positive psychology, and mindfulness. Listen in as Christine talks to him about hacking our brain, healing trauma, and beneficial experiences that are essential for our mental health. Check out Rick’s new book RESILIENT to learn how to overcome the brain’s built-in negativity bias and tap the hidden power of everyday experiences to weave calm, contentment, and

This is the final episode of a three-part couples coaching series with Claire and Jimmy together. In today’s call, Christine asks both Claire and Jimmy how they can acknowledge and appreciate each other more while empowering them to take responsibility for their childhood wounds and how they are playing out in their relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode376]

If you are in a relationship and you find yourself continuing to loop on the same argument over and over again, dig a little deeper to discover what is underneath it. Figure out where you may not be taking responsibility for your stuff and whether you are expecting your partner to heal it. Also, ask yourself where you may not be compassionate for their stuff and where you may be missing the ways they show up for you, and how you can appreciate it more.

It is not our job in a relationship to heal our partner’s wounds but it is our responsibility as a loving, conscious partner to understand and empathize with them. It’s not to tolerate toxic behavior but to adjust our behavior and our request to show we are empathetic and understanding of who our partner is.

The process of relationship is to continue to work on ourselves, work out our own triggers, and move toward our partner. Every relationship takes comprise. Love is a verb, not just the words.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you in a relationship and you keep looping on the same argument over and over again?
• Do you have a sense that the argument, the disagreement, or the trigger you’re having could be linked to a deeper issue?
• Are you willing to compromise in your relationship or do you just want it your way?
• Are you ignoring the ways your partner does love you and does show up for you because it is not exactly the way you want it?

Claire & Jimmy’s Question:

Claire & Jimmy together.

Claire & Jimmy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Claire triggers Jimmy to put his walls up and he shuts down.
• Jimmy’s version of being committed doesn’t match up with Claire’s.
• Claire is yearning to have Jimmy all-in, in the relationship.
• Intimacy is scary for Jimmy.
• They are helping each other heal.
• Claire is scared she can’t get her needs met in their relationship.
• They both realize they need to make some changes.
• Jimmy is sensitive to disappointing people and timid about the level of commitment Claire wants.
• They have a coffee date, meditate together, and relax in the hot tub at night.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Claire can acknowledge all the things Jimmy is doing right.
• Every night, Jimmy can tell Claire why he loves her.
• Claire can give Jimmy time to feel safer in the relationship.
• Show a greater level of empathy and understanding to each other.
• Jimmy can talk to Claire with the kindness and compassion he shows his daughters.
• Claire can have compassion for Jimmy as he is trying to figure things out.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

So many of us are trapped in a never-ending to-do list, looking for the next solution to make us more efficient. But often what we’re left with is feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, burnt out and alone. Madeleine Dore is a writer and interviewer who explores how we can broaden the definition of a day well spent, through regular life experiments and events to examine how creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approach our lives. Madeleine spent five years looking for the secret to productivity, only to find there isn’t one. Instead, she reveals, we’re being set up to fail. Her new book, I Didn’t Do The Thing Today, encourages us to say no to more time management techniques and yes to the joyful messiness and unpredictability of life

 Dore has been asking creative thinkers how they navigate their days on her popular blog Extraordinary Routines and podcast Routines & Ruts. She regularly conducts life experiments and hosts events to examine how creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approach our lives.

Erika Alaura is a psychic, channel, healer and coach. She is a certified consultant in Spiritual Response Therapy, a ThetaHealing® instructor and practitioner, Reiki Energy Healer, Angel Intuitive through Doreen Virtue and a conduit for the Deeksha Oneness Blessing. She's a Master Coach through Evolved Leadership and has studied life coaching and Byron Katie's work through Martha Beck's life coaching program.  Erika integrates her love of Tarot into her sessions as a powerful way to dialogue with the Soul's higher wisdom.

Elizabeth Benton was depressed, deeply in debt, and obese. As a nutrition expert and educator who binged on junk food every time she put gas in her car, she felt like a fraud and a failure. Desperate to start truly living her life, she decided to believe in her potential rather than her past. She lost 150 pounds, paid off $130,000, and remains debt-free as a successful entrepreneur.

Today, Elizabeth is the owner of Primal Potential. Through her platform of podcasts, coaching, and live events, she has fueled her deepest struggles into a burning passion to help people create transformations and live more fulfilled lives.

This call is about eliminating the imprints put on us by other people. Today’s caller, Rory, has childhood wounding from her father’s verbal abuse and her mother’s lack of support. She feels stuck in her life but she is just in a loop of patterns she created to cope with not getting what she needed as a child. 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode266]

Whatever parent’s love we crave most or whichever parent we felt the most distant from is usually who we tend to find a relationship with or we model ourselves after. And, that is what we are always chasing as an adult.

We want our parents to be proud of us but especially our fathers. Knowing your dad is proud of you is massive. We want to know our mom loves us unconditionally and dad is really proud of us. It helps our self-esteem.

If you are someone who feels stuck, realize you are not stuck. You are just caught in a loop based on your imprints and your patterns and your wounding. You have to find an exit route. And, often the exit route is what you did not get as a child that you need to give yourself.

People are often good at giving others what they are horrible about giving to themselves. You may be nurturing and compassionate towards others but hard on yourself. Or, patient with others but completely impatient with yourself. Anything we give in overflow to others is what we need to give ourselves.

What are you giving that you’re not receiving?

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you keep trying but things just aren’t happening?
• Do you consistently start things but don’t finish them?
• Did you grow up in a household where both parents were really hard on you? Did you feel like nothing you ever did was right?
• Are you excellent at giving others compassion, acceptance, and understanding but not so great about giving it to yourself?

Rory’s Question:

Rory feels she has hit a wall and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t finish things she starts.

Rory’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She grew up with a lack of love.
• As a child, she was told she was different, sensitive, and that she would fail.
• She wonders what the point of her life is.
• She has a pattern of quitting.
• She has recurring disturbing dreams about her father and sister.
• She didn’t get any completion energy from her father.
• She internalized her father’s voice.
• She attaches negative connotations to journaling.
• She feels pressure to do a lot of things.
• She doesn’t speak to herself with compassion.
• She has a fierce inner critic.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Nourish herself with the things she didn’t get.
• Bring more healthy masculine energy into life.
• Reduce the amount of doing and be compassionate with herself.
• Realize external things won’t take the place of her passions.
• Write out and record what she wishes her mother would have said and listen to it several times a day.
• Listen to this episode again to reflect on how she is talking to herself.

Takeaways:

• What loop are you in and what are the imprints and patterns that have you in a loop? How can you find an exit route?
• What did you always want from your father or mother but didn’t get and start giving it to yourself?
• Listen to the voices in your head and to the ones that are mean, the ones that push you, the ones that don’t accept you say, "Who is this, who is this?" and separate yourself from those voices.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Today’s caller, Mia, is dealing with sexual harassment from her boss at a newly acquired job and she is scared to stand up for herself. This situation is in no way Mia’s fault. While listening, I want you to take note of your reaction to what Mia shares. Does it make you angry? Does it trigger anything in your past? If you react to anything she shares, reach out for help and support. Reaching out for help is the only way to get out of a toxic situation. If you are in a situation in which you feel you are being abused or harassed in some way, please do not keep it a secret. It’s important not to allow judgment to blind us from seeing the learning in a situation. Sexual harassment is one of those things that can trigger a lot of judgment. From a spiritual perspective, there is no good, bad, right or wrong. Being disrespected is not something to accept in the name of love or spirituality. However, going into blame mode doesn’t solve anything either.  Our relationship with ourselves, from our self-talk to self-perception to our daily habits, directly impacts the people we attract and how people in our lives treat us.  If we want to change the way people treat us, we need to change ourselves first. Coach's Tip - The reason I didn’t start off with taking legal action is because it would have been judgmental and highly reactionary. I needed to do some detective work first, to see if this situation was bringing up unresolved issues that were coming up to heal, which is what was happening in Mia’s case. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there or has there been someone you felt disrespected or harassed by? ● Do you hold back from standing up for yourself, because you don’t want to make waves? ● Are you in an unhealthy situation, but staying in it for money or job security? ● Are there unresolved issues from your past that are haunting your present?   Mia's Question: Mia is uncomfortable in her new job because her boss is sexually harassing her. She would like to know why she may be attracting men who are disrespectful to her throughout her life.    Mia's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● Her father didn’t show emotions towards her ● She is the first woman from her family to work for a corporation ● She may believe that as a woman, she has to behave differently than a man ● She doesn’t trust men  and doesn’t feel safe with them ● Her self-esteem took a hit after her last relationship   How to get over it and on with it: ● She needs to update what she believes about men ● She should stand up for herself if she feels disrespected in anyway ● She needs to be in an environment where she is encouraged and supported   Assignments and Takeaways: ● If you feel you are in a situation in which you are being harassed in any way, do not be silent. Seek out some kind of professional support and document what is happening. ● If feeling disrespected is a theme in your life, take a look at your relationship with yourself. How can you shift how you treat yourself, so that consequently other people start treating you differently? ● Do you need to set boundaries with some people in your life, so you feel more respected?   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Secret Sauce Training Series Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Updo Cure                 kybc7qyb

This episode is about love and relationships. Today’s caller, Rocio, is in a pattern that is blocking her from calling in love. She would like guidance on how much of her dating is based on divine timing or if there are things she can do to date from a more empowered, emotionally available space.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode395]

A lot of times we think we are emotionally available because we want love and connection and we’ve done the work to make ourselves vulnerable. But, often, there is a hurt part of us that is a protective mechanism that makes us put a guard up so we are not completely emotionally available.

We are co-creators in our life. The spirit of the divine meets us at the point of action and intention. If we are not actively participating in getting what we desire, then we are not fully meeting the divine at the point of action and intention. If we have fear, it can block us. A lot of the time we spend avoiding love because we are afraid of rejection more than we are into opening ourselves up and putting ourselves out there.

When we have a parent that created an anxious attachment style, we draw in people who trigger that feeling inside of us because we are attempting to heal it. As children, we can’t advocate for ourselves as we can as adults.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you frustrated with dating and want to know how you can shift it?

• Did you think everything was going well with the last person you dated and then it just didn’t work out? If you look back at it, did you miss some red flags?

• Did you have a parent you craved more from and you can see how that wound impacts how you date?

• Are you willing to be vulnerable, emotionally available, and honest about what works for you and what doesn’t?

Rocio’s Question:

Rocio would like guidance about how much she should trust timing and intuition to call in love.

Rocio’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She has been meeting emotionally unavailable guys.

• She fears rejection and being vulnerable.

• Recently she thought she met someone and their energies aligned but there were inconsistencies.

• She feels that she is putting herself out there and trusting her intuition.

• There were inconsistencies in her relationship with her father.

• She is not fully healed from an unmet need from her childhood.

• She wants to call in a relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• If triggered, call it out and stand up for herself right away.

• Normalize being emotionally available and asking for what she wants.

• Don’t let her fear of rejection stop her from speaking her truth.

• Trust herself to express her needs.

• Remember the guys she dates are not her father.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Hello and welcome to my introductory podcast. This podcast is fulfilling a dream I had as a little girl. Ever since listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on the radio, I have wanted to have a call-in advice show. I loved to hear people gaining insight and having aha moments on the radio in just 5-10 minutes. This show will be a mix of practical and spiritual information to help callers (and the rest of us by default) break free from suffering and disappointment. I’ll be talking a lot about “Expectation Hangovers” which was the tile of my last book.  If you are new to my work you are probably wondering, just what is an expectation hangover? An expectation hangover is when things don’t go according to plan, when we don’t get the sense of fulfillment after something does happen or when life throws us a total curveball. To get our friendship started, I am sharing my story with you and sharing the moment I had of peace and connection. It only lasted a second, but its effects will last a lifetime. I welcome you to shift your consciousness, to heal your mind and ease your transitions. Consider/Ask Yourself:

Who am I?

What do I want and how do I get it?

What makes time stop for me?

What am I learning?

What’s here for me to heal? Key Insights and Aha’s:

● Visualization through meditation told me to serve more. This podcast gave me the outlet.

● When you listen to someone else being coached your defenses are down allowing you to take in the information more freely.

● Self-imposed shame and judgments can stunt our growth. How to get over it and on with it:

● Milk it for all that it’s worth.

● Recognize that even the things which feel miserable are in service to our growth learning and healing.

● Understand your suffering could be the catalyst for your passion. Tools and Takeaways:

● 5 Key Valuable Lessons of Expectation Hangovers

○ They illuminate that we all put a lot of expectation on ourselves.

○ They teach us we don’t have control.

○ They push us out of our comfort zone.

○ They teach us to live inside out instead of outside in.

○ They teach us to move out of the victim mentality.   Resources Mentioned: Christine Hassler @christinhassler #overitandonwithit Expectation Hangover 20-Something, 20-Everything

I talk a lot on this show about Expectation Hangovers - how they are the disappointments and curve balls that teach us and grow us. But, it’s also important to acknowledge the unexpected surprises that delight us and support us in magical ways. That’s why it is important not to plan every little thing, to make space for the unexpected, and to leave more time for soul food. In order to be in this place of space and possibility, we have to come into right relationship with uncertainty.   What is a right relationship? Realize that we never have total control and that nothing is ever 100% certain. During times of transition, we should honor that we are in a season of  change in our lives. We should not source our sense of feeling safe with being certain of everything. Know that we are always being supported and being guided by the universe even when we feel most lost.   Today’s caller is Elle, who called me to discuss her upcoming life transition and the fear she has about it. We hear in this call yet another example of how there is almost always a deeper issue underneath our questions. As I began to shine a light on the dark places Elle had inside, she began to connect the dots and came to some of her own conclusions. Often, people stay stuck on their current problems or questions rather than asking the deeper questions. We can not arrive at clarity until we clear the deeper, underlying issues. We can not move into our full potential if we are playing it safe all the time. Change does not happen in our comfort zone. Bust through your limiting belief that no one will be there for you if you take a leap of faith or make a change. There are so many new guides, angels and soul friends who show up for us at exactly the time we need them to. Changing your vibrations also changes your consciousness. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a transition time or feeling uncertain about things? Are you grasping for control, safety and security? Are you projecting your security on to another person, job or something else outside of you? Do you ever feel alone? Would you like to feel more connected to or supported by the universe?   Elle 's Question: Elle wants to know how to transition into her new life after years of military service and as a newly single person.   Elle 's Key Insights and Aha’s: She is creating her own fear. She has always wanted to be an entrepreneur. She craves security because she missed out on a developmental phase of her childhood. She dates emotionally unavailable men because that is how her father was.   How to get over it and on with it: She can heal her lifetime longing for a father. Take this opportunity to delve into the divine masculine and the divine feminine powers. She needs to let go of belief systems that tell her security comes from outside of herself.   Assignments and Takeaways: Get into a right relationship with your uncertainty. Follow those ‘what if’ statements with something good. Make future tripping a desirable destination. Find a lightworker to work with. Have one person to shine a light on your dark places. Forgive your parents. Remember that life is full of magical uncertainties and the divine will always have your back.   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

You'll love Christine's discussion with energy reader, medium, empath and energy coach Alea Lovely.  Alea uses her empathic and intuitive gifts to help people discover and move past their blocks. She also hosts an amazing podcast "Spiritual Sh*t" where she interviews guests and shares her compassion and wisdom.  You can learn more about Alea and her services here: https://thelovelyalea.com/bio

Collectively we are all going through a rebalancing of masculine and feminine energies, not only in what it means to be a man or a woman, but what it means to be human. We are just moving into rebalancing this energy so masculine and feminine energies can be in flow together. While women struggle to find their place in the masculine energy, men struggle to fit into more feminine things, such as being vulnerable or pursuing more creative endeavors that may feel less manly. This is not a time to be discouraged. We are all longing for belonging and connection.

This episode is about questioning the old paradigms and rules. Today’s caller, Jake, thinks he is stuck, but from my point of view he is at a crossroads. Will he continue to let old programming and belief systems drive him, or will he make a commitment to move past the fear of old paradigms, and step into his full potential?

During the call, I didn’t want to take Jake down the road of investigating his past, because he had already spent too much time analyzing the past and worrying about the future. Jake said he had an easy-going upbringing without a lot of drama or trauma.

Often, feeling that degree of comfort as a child makes it harder to take risks as an adult, because we don’t have enough experiential evidence to recover from failure, risks, and things that scare us. We have to stop asking ourselves why, why, why. We don’t have to self-analyze ourselves to death. We need to be aware of the patterns and self-limiting beliefs, so we can shift them. We all need to step up into our full potential, and not allow outdated paradigms hold us back. Men, it is ok to be vulnerable, to talk about your doubts, and to admit to confusion about who you are, and how to find your purpose.  

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Are you a man, or with a man, who is questioning his career path or purpose?

● Is fear something that is stopping you?

● Do you relate to sabotaging yourself?  

Jake 's Question: Jake feels drawn toward another career change. He wants to know how to get out of his own head to move forward.  

Jake 's Key Insights and Aha’s:

● He is sabotaging himself.

● He has competing intentions.

● He has a propensity to not follow through.

● He battles with fear and low self-worth.

● He has time management issues.

● He has created motion toward what he wants by putting himself out there.

● He is afraid he won’t live up to his full potential.  

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● He should invest in a coach.

● He should read The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida, and other personal development books.

● He should work on shifting his belief system and get clear about what his vision is.

● Over the next 40 days, he should do 10 things that get him out of his comfort zone.

● He should make a schedule for himself and stick to it.  

Assignments and Takeaways:

● Go out and engage in behavior which pulls you out of your comfort zone, to develop trust in yourself.

● Commit to rewiring your brain. Visit NeuroGym to learn more.

● Stop obsessing about what you think is a liability.

● Show up fully for yourself, be your own word. Make commitments and don’t break them. If you do break them, re-negotiate and start again.  

Resources: Christine Hassler - Book a session to be on the show! Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com NeuroGym

This episode is about prioritizing ourselves and our children. Today’s caller, Aprisa, is a single mother who looks to others to get her needs met. She had a traumatic childhood and has not yet healed her inner child wounding. We also discuss depression and how highly-sensitive people have more proclivity to depression because feeling big emotions can feel scary.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode328]

With single parents, the rightful roles of parent and child can get a little murky.

It is important not to hide our emotions from our children. It is okay for them to see us sad or angry but we want to make sure they know it is not their responsibility. Sadness doesn't last forever but it is important to feel it because when we hold down our emotions they get stuck. 

What often happens with people who are depressed is that they don't know what to do with their big feelings. They end up being distant, irritable, or sad. When what they need to get at is their anger, rage, grief, shame, and other big feelings. Oftentimes, when someone is diagnosed with depression it is important to look at the root cause and what else could be going on. And, many times the diagnosis of depression can be limiting. 

When we suppress our feelings and are not connected with our inner child we can collapse into the subconscious programming, patterning, and time travel when we are triggered.

Be on the lookout for my soon-to-be-released Year in Review episode and join me in releasing 2021 and calling in 2022.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you an introvert or a highly sensitive person who has a proclivity to depression, especially when you suppress emotions?
• Have you found yourself parentifying a spouse or partner? Or, are you spousifying your child? 

Aprisa’s Question:

Aprisa is triggered by her traumatic past and doesn’t feel her needs are being met in her current relationship.

Aprisa’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is a single mother.
• She has abandonment trauma from her past.
• She just moved to a new continent with her son.
• She is currently in a relationship and puts her boyfriend before herself and her son.
• She has been clinically diagnosed with depression.
• She feels her needs are not being met.
• She wants to feel peace and not be triggered.
• She has big emotions and doesn't know how to explain them.
• She looks to her partner to heal her inner child.
• She gets triggered and emotionally falls back on her subconscious programming. 
• She is passing on her anxious attachment style to her son.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Reduce the burden on her son by reframing how she explains her depression to him.
• Create a secure attachment to her son to bring her closer to her inner child.
• Acknowledge her big feelings and realize she is not doing anything wrong.
• Connect to her inner child and love and parent herself with love and compassion.
• Resist the addiction to codependency.
• Prioritize herself and her son.

Takeaways:

• Listen to my Coaches Corner #286 — Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf.
• Remember, you have the power to transform and heal, no one else can do it for you.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Will Cole is a leading functional-medicine expert who consults people around the world and locally in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He specializes in clinically investigating the underlying factors in chronic disease and then customizing health programs. Dr. Cole was named one of the top 50 functional-medicine and integrative doctors in the nation and is the co-host of The Goop Fellas Podcast. His previous book is the international bestseller Ketotarian, and his new book, The Inflammation Spectrum, goes on sale October 15th.

You can get your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0735220085/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1

This episode is about reassurance. Laura is a people pleaser. She goes above and beyond for people and doesn’t get it back in return. She then feels disappointed. I work with her on understanding why she people pleases, why it’s selfish to be a people pleaser, and how to shift out of the pattern.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode89]

You may have heard me say this many times before, but people pleasing is selfish. It’s really all about you. You are the one who doesn’t want to upset people, you want to avoid confrontation, and you are the one who is worried about how people perceive you.

Laura knows how to be loving and giving; she just needs to direct it towards herself. Use this call as a catalyst to look at your own patterns without judgment, and without beating yourself up. The key to personal development is to work on yourself, without thinking anything is wrong with you. No one outside of you can give you the acceptance and love you need.

And, to shift out of a pattern, we have to let go of things from our past. We have to come to peace with the fact that some people in our lives are never going to change. Many people don’t have the tools to change, or they don’t want to change. The older they get, the more their patterns are reinforced.

If you feel like the black sheep of the family, or you don’t fit it, it’s ok. You may be the change maker and the lightworker. You may be the one who is willing to break generational patterns. You can love and accept your biological family but find your soul family.

As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Do you relate to being a people pleaser?

● Can you acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments, but struggle acknowledging yourself for just who you are?

● Do you feel like the black sheep of your family, and sometimes you are afraid to be who you are because you might lose your family’s approval?

Laura’s Question:

Laura feels she goes above and beyond for people, and they don’t return the effort. She wants to know how to break the pattern of being a people pleaser.

Laura’s Key Insights and Ahas:

● People don’t put as much effort into her as she does for them.

● She continues to look for the love and acceptance she wanted from her mother and father in other people.

● She is looking for attention and validation.

● She feels genuine in her job as a social worker.

● Her father never told her he loved her, and she resents him for it.

● She blames herself for what happened to her as a child.

● She is ready to break past patterns.

● She is the lightworker in her family.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She should accept her parents didn’t give her the love and acceptance she wanted, and give herself the love, acceptance, and validation she didn’t get when she was little.

● Everything she wants people to say to her, she should say to herself.

● She should accept her position as the lightworker in her family.

Takeaways:

● When you are doing things for others, check in with yourself to see if you are giving without any expectations or attachment to getting something in return. Ask yourself is this giving really coming from love.

● Reverse the golden rule — Do unto yourself as you do unto others.

● Forgive the past. Let it go. and stop expecting people to change.

● Have gratitude and acceptance if you are the black sheep of the family, and find your soul family.

Sponsor:

ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com

This is an incredibly candid, informative and vulnerable chat with my longtime friend and all around powerhouse Lewis Howes. Listen is as we talk about the masks of masculinity, why men act a certain way, the healing power of expressing our feelings, relationship tips and so much more! Listen to EP 128 as a compliment to this interview! Lewis Howes is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is?a c

This episode is about releasing shame about health issues and accepting ourselves without judgment. Today’s caller, Amber, was not nurtured as a child when she had an illness or injury. She has carried shame and unworthiness into her adult life. We discover that healing opportunities are available to her if she stops fighting and accepts them.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode210]

Sponsor:

Better Help— allows you to connect with a professional, licensed counselor or therapist in a safe and private online environment.  You can change counselors anytime with no additional charge. Over It and On With It listeners receive 10% off their first month by using discount code ‘Overit’.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Waitlist@ChristineHassler.com — Get on the waitlist for this show

This coaching call is about making sense of our intuition. Today’s caller, Michaela, wants to drop fully into what she is feeling but is unsure whether her intuition is just a fear-based response to her past. She asks Christine for guidance on how to decipher her feelings and how to trust her intuition.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode422].

We all have the gift of intuition to varying degrees. Some people, who have more gifts, we might refer to as psychics or mediums. But we all have the gift and the ability to connect to our intuition. And often, when we open up our connection to our intuition, it can be confusing. We may get intuitive messages and not know exactly what to do with them.

The beautiful thing about surrender or letting go is that it does allow for what actually needs to come forward to happen. Surrendering and receiving can feel scary because we have to be still. When we’re not in motion, either mentally or physically, and stillness comes, it often can trigger a fear response. Because if you grew up with any kind of abuse or chaos you know that when things got quiet, or still it wasn’t always a good sign; the calm before the storm.

So, we keep ourselves moving to both avoid chaos and to avoid the feelings. Many of us have wounds and trauma that we’ve been carrying around for decades and if we keep ourselves busy and distracted enough then we don’t have to feel the pain. If we do surrender and allow ourselves to receive, then there’s an invitation to feel. And, often it isn’t the party we want to attend.

The beautiful thing about inner child work is that we have all these beautiful parts of us that come alive again and they become a great source of love.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like your intuition is telling you something and you’re not exactly sure what it means or what to do with it?

• Have you had a life of lots of doing and you feel this huge desire to just be, but at the same time it terrifies you?

• Are you someone that is good at receiving or are you better at giving?

• Are you willing to carve the time out for yourself and change behaviors to connect more deeply with your inner child so that you can feel safe in your body?

Michaela’s Question:

Michaela is being pulled to listen to her intuition but is confused about whether the message is coming from her intuition or is a fear-based response.

Michaela’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is an imposter syndrome and transformational coach.

• She left the corporate world after 25 years.

• She is feeling pulled to stop doing and to listen to her intuition.

• She is strongly spiritual.

• She has a global network of people as clients.

• She invests money in personal development work.

• She suffered from imposter syndrome in the past.

• Her family pretended everything was okay, no matter what was happening.

• She feels coaching is her calling.

• She’s been married for 25 years.

• She has a hidden life and doesn’t feel safe.

• She had traumatic experiences in her childhood.

• She sometimes wants to disappear.

• She recently uncoupled from an intimate connection.

• She is searching for parental safety.

• She wants to feel supported and loved.

• She finds it difficult to receive.

• She doesn’t understand how people love her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Delve deeply into healing inner child work.

• Let go of her distractions to integrate the fragmented pieces of herself.

• Trust her intuition and be curious about the messages.

• Be curious and allow people’s love for her to model how to love her inner child.

• Take action in response to her internal messaging rather than taking action to avoid her feelings.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about how to shift personality patterns. Today’s caller, Nikhi, is looking for guidance on how to speak up for herself and how to ask for what she wants. She has completed two Inner Child Workshops and is ready to work through the resistance she feels as she begins to shift her patterns.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode289]

Doing personal growth work, especially inner child work, doesn’t mean that boom, all of a sudden you’re healed. It takes time. The patterns we develop, the coping strategies, the results from our wounding have been there for many years. It takes time for something to move from awareness to integration.

The enduring pattern develops around age three because our need at that age is expression, to be able to express our feelings, to be able to express who we are, and to feel like it’s safe to be ourselves. If we lived in a family where emotional expression wasn’t encouraged, or we were to be seen, not heard, or we were told what to do, we had to figure out what to do just to not piss anybody off, we end up often with something called the enduring pattern. The enduring pattern is when we think we will just hold it all together or hold it all inside because it’s not safe to express or speak our truth.

There are two parts to speaking up for yourself. Part one is speaking your needs and part two, continuing to speak up when you are met with criticism, gas-lighting, or feeling squashed.

Get on the interest list for our next couple’s Relationship Retreat. It is a live, 3-day virtual retreat coming up in June. Christinehassler.com/relationshipsupport 

Listen to past group coaching calls, ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays, and listen to Coaches Corner with Erica Alaura for important energy cleansing work.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you get overwhelmed easily but yet have trouble asking for help?
• Does your reaction to something, like your level of a reaction, sometimes not match the reality of the situation?
• Are you hard on yourself? Do you have a fierce inner critic?
• Do you internalize your feelings?
• Is it difficult for you to ask for support?

Nikhi’s Question:

Nikhi is looking for guidance on how to speak up for herself and ask for what she needs from an empowered place.

Nikhi’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She feels disempowered.
• She doesn’t ask for what she needs and then feels shame about it.
• She feels triggered and angry when her husband reminds her of things.
• She is an empath.
• She didn’t feel seen or heard as a child.
• She internalizes things that happen to her.
• She has completed two Inner Child Workshops.
• She has an anxious attachment style and an enduring personality pattern.
• She gets overwhelmed easily.
• She was not allowed to express anger as a child.
• She struggles with structure.
• Her subtle inner critic comes out as a sinking feeling.
• She wants to find an accountability partner.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Speak up and share her emotions.
• Practice feeling and expressing her feelings.
• Do 10-minutes of Release Writing or record thoughts on her phone daily.
• Write a letter to her inner parent to re-read when she feels resistance.

Takeaways:

• Discipline yourself with love and gentleness.
• Don’t put too much on your plate.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about self-sabotage. Today’s caller, Drew, is an inspiring entrepreneur who has overcome odds such as being homeless and obesity but he is still getting in his own way. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode79] I acknowledge Drew for being honest, real and raw during our call. He is a seeker who is committed to his growth. He truly believes he is worthy and is committed to shifting. Often, we doubt ourselves because we haven’t made the changes we want, or haven’t achieved as much as we would like. The discomfort that comes from the feeling of not living into our potential, and the seeker who emerges from within us, are feedback to let us know we are well on our way. We do not optimize ourselves overnight. Part of living into our potential is feeling and dealing with the pain of not being there yet. It’s how we polish the diamond of our spirit. The problem is we label it as suffering because it’s uncomfortable. What if feeling a desire to transform is a symptom of being a seeker? It’s important to keep going. You will eventually feel a shift. You will start feeling less pain and more purpose. Your focus will shift from yourself to your mission and vision. You will heal core wounds and let go of limiting beliefs. This will attract different things into your life. What you do is not as important as how you do it. Allow your choices and subsequent actions to come from a place of self-love, acceptance, and service. A podcast I did with my friend Aubrey on his podcast is a great supplemental resource to this session with Drew. We talked a lot about self-love, judgment, and the inner critic. The Aubrey Marcus Podcast #89 — Self-Love and Psychedelic Medicine. Retreat Information — Bali is a place of healing. I have been visiting for 10 years, so my retreats offer an authentic Balinese experience, in addition to the retreat work. Enrollment is now open for the upcoming Bali Retreat in September. Step into your dreams. Don’t let excuses stop you. Contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up. Learn ways to trust yourself in my Inner Circle private membership community.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Have you overcome huge obstacles, but still don’t feel over the hump, or are still facing large obstacles? ● Do you feel like you have something to prove, and is it often the fuel that drives you? ● Are your self-worth and self-love conditional? ● Do you have an expectation to be strong and confident, but feel rejected on the inside?   Drew's Question: Drew would like to know how to stop self-sabotaging himself and how to find the strength to pursue and achieve his goals.   Drew's Key Insights and Ahas: ● He knows he is not broken. ● He feels he needs to prove himself. ● He sees himself through a lens of judgment. ● He puts conditions on his self-worth. ● He has a huge, low ego. ● He has felt invisible and rejected most of his life.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He needs to create a daily practice around own his worth. ● He needs to become a better friend to himself. ● He should remove the conditions he puts on love, acceptance, and worthiness. ● He needs to stop trying to prove himself. ● He should use the Release Writing exercise in Expectation Hangover before meditating. ● When he feels himself drifting into self-sabotage he should remind himself of his why, his worth, and his true value, and feel love.   Assignments: ● Examine what is driving your behavior. ● Write out your conditions of worthiness. ● Write out new rules, or the truth about your worthiness. ● Try a heart meditation. Allow love to fill your entire physical being.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information Bali Retreat Enrollment Page The Aubrey Marcus Podcast #89

Breakup.  There is not much that feels worse than heartache from ending a romantic relationship.  Although it feels awful right now, trust that you will be okay.  In this Coaches Corner, I guide you through the five things you can do immediately to ease the pain of your breakup and get to your breakthrough a lot sooner.

This episode is the first of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, Claire reveals she would like Jimmy to make plans with her and make her a priority in his life. Christine uncovers some childhood patterns that may be at play in Claire’s current relationship.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode374]

When there is something that is bothering us and we are unable to shift it, we need to dig deeper. It is normal for us to be able to identify what is going on with someone else yet still to be blind to our own blocks. When we finally see it we realize how obvious it was but it is hard to see. We often just want to notice the current problem and fix our relationship, versus going back to see what it reminds us of in our past.

Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating.

When we take the time to work on ourselves first, often it offers more clarity about issues in our relationships. We can’t work on issues in our relationships without working on ourselves.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Is there a constant pattern in your relationship you can’t seem to shift?
• Do you and your partner argue about the same issues over and over?
• Do you have an unmet need from a parent that is showing up in your relationship?
• Are you willing to see your partner in a different light? Are you willing to see your partner for who they are, right here, right now?

Claire’s Question:

Claire would like guidance about how she can feel like a priority in her partner’s life.

Claire’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her childhood wound is abandonment.
• She doesn’t feel like a priority in Jimmy’s life.
• When she feels seen by Jimmy she feels empowered in the relationship.
• She has different patterns than Jimmy.
• She has been married before.
• Her father wasn’t present every day in her childhood.
• She is attached to planning and doing things.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Practice connection and intimacy with Jimmy in everyday life.
• Remind her inner child that Jimmy isn’t her Dad and she can get love whenever she wants.
• Let go of planning for a while to accept love in the here and now.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you are navigating any kind of change or are considering making a choice that feels authentic but you question how it will impact others, don't miss this episode.  Life Coach, author and speaker  Andrea Owen joins Christine to talk about identity shifts and making choices from our intuition, not our trauma.  Andrea is creating a global impact in women’s empowerment with her books being translated into 19 languages and available in 23 countries.

She helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, master their mindset, and magnify their courage. You can learn more at andreaowen.com.

This coaching call is about honoring yourself and another person by completing an unhealthy dynamic. Jade & Matthew both join this couple’s session to ask Christine for guidance about where to go in their current relationship. If you are going through a relationship breakup or if it is time to end a relationship, this episode is valuable especially if there is wounding playing out in your relationship.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode411].

One of the ways that we suffer most in relationship is thinking that our love will change someone. But, the opportunity to truly heal and step into their greatest potential is up to that person.

Oftentimes, coming together in relationship does help someone step into their fullest potential, but there’s a caveat: they have to do it. They have to want it and it has to happen quickly. If you’re in a relationship where it has been years of the other person going back to their old patterns, then you are in the cycle of them apologizing and feeling awful and you taking them back thinking things will be different. They are going to do their work and then something else happens but you see their little boy or little girl, and you love them, and this time was different and they’re really doing the work, and they’re seeing the counselor, but then they do it again. It’s just a loop. I encourage you to choose you, to love you. They need to do their healing on their own.

Making the choice to end, or complete, an unhealthy dynamic to heal individually is a gift we give to the other person. When we trust love and truth it always gets us to where we want to go.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you an enabler or are you addicted to someone else enabling you?

• Do you tend to be a little codependent or a lot codependent in relationships?

• Do you know that you love someone so much but no matter how much you love them it’s up to them to change?

• Are you feeling that it is time for a conscious uncoupling in your relationship?

Jade & Matthew’s Question:

Jade & Matthew ask for guidance about how best to heal themselves.

Jade & Matthew’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Matthew feels relieved.

• They separated after he returned from his travels.

• Matthew shared his shadows with Jade.

• Matthew became aware that he seeks validation from other women.

• Matthew will do inner child work via therapy.

• Jade believes it is best for them to not have contact while they are healing.

• Jade needs to see Matthew needs to love himself.

• Matthew wants Jade to be in his life because he feels a soul-level connection to her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Have no contact with each other for one year so they can heal themselves.

• Use the sentence starters Christine gave them to journal about their feelings.

• Jade needs time alone and for Matthew to respect that.

• Take the opportunity to learn what healthy, mature love is.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about being yourself, loving yourself, and allowing yourself not to push through fear. Today’s caller, Bianca wants to date but when an opportunity arises she gets scared. She developed a way to become a chameleon which gave her a false sense of confidence but after personal development work she is removing the masks she used to wear and now feels fear about others seeing her for who she really is. What we uncover is that what is driving her patterns around dating stems from her childhood.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode224]

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Waitlist@ChristineHassler.com — Get on the waitlist for this show

This episode is about self-honoring choices, ultimatums, and jealousy in mother-daughter relationships. Today’s caller, Kristin, is looking for guidance in how to proceed after her mother gave her an ultimatum. We also look at the compensatory strategies Kristin has adopted in an effort to deal with things from her childhood.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode118]

What is a self-honoring choice? A self-honoring choice is an honest choice rooted in truth that comes from love. Kristin felt she was always in competition with her mother. She became a perfectionist as a compensatory strategy because she felt that she could only receive love if she was perfect. Through her growth work, she is starting to make self-honoring choices for herself.

What are you passionate about? What you are passionate about is often a tie into our spiritual curriculum and our parents are part of that curriculum. Remember, we choose our parents as our teachers. When our parents don’t see us for who we truly are, it can seem cruel. But, part of our soul journey is to heal from past cruelty.

What do you long for from your parents?

Be sure to check out Coaches Corner. Last week I talked about ghosting and flaky behavior, the week before I interviewed Jill about selling skills and I even answer questions. So, if you have a question for me, email assist@ChristineHassler.com.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Is there someone in your life you are not speaking to or have a strained relationship with?
• If you grew up with two parents, was one more challenging for you to get along with or close to?
• Do you tend to be attracted, date or marry people you feel you must earn their love?
• Do you know what self-honoring choices are? If so, do you make them regularly?

Kristin’s Question:

Kristin would like to know how to approach her mother about a recent ultimatum.

Kristin’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She was in an abusive relationship.
• She made a self-honoring choice.
• She was always in competition with her mother.
• Her mother was passive aggressive.
• She yearned for attention from her mother.
• Her parents had a horrible relationship.
• Her existence triggers her mother.
• She chose her mother.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She should keep working on herself and stay strong to break the pattern of contorting herself to make her mother feel better.

• She should realize her mom may not be able to face her issues.

• She should continue making self-honoring choices.

Takeaways:

• Where are you not making self-honoring choices because you are trying too much to please people?
• And, where are you not making self-honoring choices because you are trying to be the bigger person vs. speaking your truth?
• Why did you pick your parents and what are they here to teach you?
• Let go of who you want your parents to be. Accept the fact that if your mother or father truly saw what they needed to see about themselves in order to give you the apology you crave, it might break them.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista’s life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too. 

This episode is about learning the tools to deal with triggers and the avoidant attachment style. This week’s caller, Mike, would like guidance on how to be more open-hearted and vulnerable in his intimate relationships. This session will be of service to those who have an avoidant style and for those who attract Avoidants. We discuss how to understand them and how not to take their actions personally.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode313]

Anything is healable. It doesn’t matter what is in your background, childhood, or past. I’ve seen it over and over again. Does it happen overnight? No. Is it always easy? No. Is it going to change overnight? Healable doesn’t mean we go from having an avoidant attachment style to being totally open-hearted, totally secure, and never having triggers.

Healing is not being perfect, not being free of any triggers but really learning how to work with those triggers, manage those triggers, so that they don’t become roadblocks in our life. Triggers can be alarm systems for growth and not a dead end. Awareness is not enough to heal.

People with an avoidant attachment style are not trying to avoid being close or being in love. They are trying to avoid rejection, hurt, and pain. When we are with an Avoidant, and they pull away or put walls up, it can make us feel as if we have done something wrong. But, we cannot take it personally. If you are with an Avoidant, the best thing you can do when they are triggered is don’t attack them, don’t tell them they are doing anything wrong, then reassure them that you are there and you love them.

On September 14th, Christine and Stefanos will teach a virtual group call at 5 pm PST.

Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8‒10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild.

Mike’s Question:

Mike would like guidance on how to be more open-minded and open-hearted when approaching his relationships.

Mike’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• His marriage of 12 years recently ended.
• He emotionally shut down in his relationships.
• He has an insecure attachment style.
• Fear of rejection keeps him from being vulnerable.
• He was not loved for being himself as a child.
• He is self-aware.
• He feels as if his personal development work has stalled.
• He does not want to repeat the mistakes of his past.
• He is ready to date again.
• He has high standards.
• He puts walls up to protect himself.
• He struggles to be vulnerable.
• He feels he can apply the practical guidance.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Acknowledge himself for the personal development work he is doing.
• Start dating again.
• Lean into vulnerability.
• Accept himself for who he is.
• Have compassion for himself and his fear.
• It is okay to be scared.

Takeaways:

• On the field is the best way to get good at a game. We cannot run from hurt. We have to expose ourselves to triggers so we can integrate and deal with hurt and fear.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Listen up as Charlie teaches us the importance of PLAY and connection.  Charlie is the author of Play It Away: A Workaholic's Cure for Anxiety, which was called 'The cure to your stress!' by Tony Robbins. Charlie has advised leaders on the topic of mental wellness at the Pentagon, U.S. Military, and Tesla. His blog is the #1 Google result for the search "cure anxiety." He has helped dozens of authors promote their books -- including Tim Ferriss, Ramit Sethi, and Tucker Max. http://charliehoehn.com/

This episode is about reassurance. Laura is a people pleaser. She goes above and beyond for people and doesn’t get it back in return. She then feels disappointed. People pleasing is dangerous; we can become resentful and we are not being our authentic selves. I work with her on understanding why she people-pleases, why it’s selfish to be a people pleaser, and how to shift out of the pattern.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode198]

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To get on the waiting list for this show.

This is a call about issue-based relationships. Today’s caller, Megan, is curious about whether she should go back to a relationship that is on a break. She wants to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship. I explain what an issue-based relationship is and give her some guidance about how to listen to her inner knowing.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode236]

The five relationships are issue-based, journey mate, compatibility, fantasy, and side-by-side partnership. Not every relationship is made to last forever or should last forever. Different relationships come for different reasons and teach us different things. When we understand what type of relationship we have then it is a little bit easier to deal with.

An issue-based relationship is when our childhood wounds attract us to each other. We tend to date our unresolved issues from our childhood. Normally one person dumps feelings all over the other and the other person either dumps feelings back or tries to clean up the mess. They keep triggering each other and playing out patterns. When couples go to couple’s counseling it doesn’t really work because they keep trying to work on the relationship but they should be working on their own issues. It’s like two people who speak totally different languages and you are trying to teach them how to speak a third language.

For people in issue-based relationships, I recommend taking a break and separating, working on themselves, and then re-evaluating the relationship. By then they may decide the relationship is not what they want or they get back together.

March 18, 2020, Stefanos and I are co-hosting a group call about relationships. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. If you missed my live group coaching call about how to care for your energetic and spiritual hygiene and cope during times of stress download it for free at Christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Is there someone from your past that you are considering bringing back into your life?
• Are you in an issue-based relationship?
• Have you been in a relationship that has felt like great chemistry but it was actually codependence?
• Are you willing to be on your own, or not in a relationship, for as long as it takes to see clearly what you need from a relationship?

Megan’s Question:

Megan would like to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship.

Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She attended my Spring Retreat.
• She is in an issue-based relationship.
• She entered into the relationship from an unhealthy space.
• She has an opportunity to reconnect with her boyfriend who she has strong feelings for.
• She has a pattern of giving men multiple chances.
• Her father wasn’t emotionally available.
• She feels an extremely strong connection to her boyfriend.
• She has a pattern of asking external sources for answers to her internal questions.
• She wants to get more into her healthy masculine.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She may want to let her boyfriend complete his coaching before reconnecting.
• She needs to trust herself and her inner knowing.
• She should reaffirm advice from others by writing it down and considering how it feels to her.
• She should pray for the highest good of all parties.

Assignments and Takeaways:

• Relationships are always learning opportunities. Look at your triggering relationships and consider what they are reflecting back to you.
• If you are in an issue-based relationship and are not getting anywhere, take a break and work separately for a year and then see where you stand.
• Evaluate the kind of partner you are being to yourself and work on your self-care and self-love.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Shawn Stevenson is a bestselling author and creator of The Model Health Show, featured as the #1 Health podcast on iTunes with millions of listener downloads each year. A graduate of The University of Missouri – St. Louis, Shawn studied business, biology, and kinesiology, and went on to be the founder of Advanced Integrative Health Alliance, a company that provides wellness services for individuals and organizations worldwide. Shawn has been featured in Entrepreneur magazine, Men’s Health magazine, ESPN

Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body mind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. fromStanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After, (the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks). He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu, as well as a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir ErrolHyde. His latest book, Conscious Luck, reveals eight ways to change your fortune through the power of intention. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio andtelevision shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others. His new book, The Genius Zone, was published in June, 2021.

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