Optimism Vaccine (The Optimism Vaccine Network)

THIS WEEK: See No Evil (2006) and See No Evil 2 (2014)

It doesn't get much worse than this, folks. We're exploring the origins of WWE Films via the limp, senseless misadventures of Jacob Goodnight. Will Vince McMahon's callous attempt to christen Glenn Jacobs the new face of fear succeed? Find out next Sunday at Survivor Series.

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We're pumping the brakes on our usual film-centric content for a very special episode.

Stephen Kohlmann and Steve Cuff return to Discourse From The Big Chair after a three year hiatus to discuss the recently released 4xCD/Blu-ray box set of Tears For Fears' 1989 album, The Seeds of Love. The guys talk alternate versions, B-sides, weird backstage tour gangs, and recording studio opulence. And hey, when is that new album coming out anyway?

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THIS WEEK: The Butcher/Le Boucher (1970), Just Before Nightfall/Juste Avant la Nuit (1971), and The Ceremony/La Cérémonie (1995)

Every once in a while we need Shawn Glinis to jump in and make our show classy again.

This week, we're dissecting three films from the underrated French New Wave master, Claude Chabrol. Over the course of six decades, Chabrol made nearly 60 films. While he was never afraid to branch out beyond genre fare, he often returned to Hitchcock-inspired thrillers which later inspired auteurs like Michael Haneke.

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For two long years, the Snyhard masses cried out to Warner Bros. for justice, and, against all odds, the impossibly dumb has become improbably real: #ReleaseTheSnyderCut has delivered us Zack Snyder's Justice League.

Now we can finally answer pressing questions like "Can doubling a bad film's runtime make it good?"

This week we're diving into The Snyder Cut, comparing it to Joss Whedon's 2017 Justice League hatchet job, and dissecting the cinema of Snyder to find the essence of his popular appeal.

Also, where the hell is spooky Jesus Joker, Zack? The promotional materials promised us spooky Jesus Joker.

THIS WEEK: Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021) and Justice League (2017)

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THIS WEEK: Sonatine (1993), Kids Return (1996) and Hana-bi (1997)

The third time is the charm in our exploration of Takeshi Kitano. We've finally ventured beyond his odd late career dalliances and into the 90s, when Kitano felt like the most vital filmmaker on the goddamn planet.

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THIS WEEK: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) and Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

This year, you made it through David Gordon Green's Halloween. But can you survive three decades of Silent Night, Deadly Night?

Probably!

The first two movies are pretty great, actually. Find out why one is a stone-cold second-wave slasher classic and the other transcends meme-ification and a money-grab clip show structure to become something extraordinary.

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THIS WEEK: Duel (1971), Freeway (1996) and Freeway 2: Confessions of a Trickbaby (1999)

It didn't take long for us to foul up our road-centric theme, as the deceptively titled Freeway series sends us hurtling down a winding road toward... Danny Elfman?

And we also watched Duel. For some reason.

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Howdy Space Cowboys! Colin and Steve return for another brand new episode of the internet's official unofficial Cowboy Bebop podcast. This week, they tackle interstellar ecoterrorism, the history of the lowly lobster and more as they wrap up the Bandai Toys era of Bebop and dive deeper into the show's history.

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THIS WEEK: The Hitcher (1986), The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting (2003) and The Hitcher (2007)

No, we haven't immediately abandoned our proposed annual foray into artful smut... it's just rather overwhelming to curate. So outside circumstances have dictated a temporary pivot to a different sort of pistoning action. And let's face it, Rutger Hauer is steamier than any vintage pornography we were going to dredge up anyhow.

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THIS WEEK: New Year's Evil (1980), Bloody New Year (1987)

We're true cinephiles around here so our New Year's resolution is to watch more late career Norman J. Warren flicks while simultaneously becoming the most POWERFUL podcast in the universe. Please tune in so we can finish the year strong and force Spotify to pay up.

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THIS WEEK: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991) and Silent Night (2012)

Oh, wow. They just kept making these, huh? Once again the beloved Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise swerves into another totally unrelated story about how Mickey Rooney is a weird little creep who looks like someone tried to make an obese baby out of a sponge. And there's a robot this time and some Freudian MILF business going on. And hey! Did you know someone did a DTV "remake" of the original Silent Night, Deadly Night in 2012 starring Malcolm McDowell? Shocking Twist: It has almost nothing to do with the first film or any of the sequels. Merry Christmas, I guess.

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Space truckers, obscure 80's metal bands and even a potential Cowboy Bebop spin-off that never made it off the ground. All this (and more) this week on Woolong Club.

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THIS WEEK: Long Arm of the Law (1984), Long Arm of the Law: Part 2 (1987), Long Arm of the Law: Part 3 (1989), Long Arm of the Law: Part 4 (1990)

Before John Woo's stylish action flicks dominated the Hong Kong box office, Johnny Mak Tong-hung gave us his only feature film: Long Arm of the Law. And, like any classic Hong Kong action movie, three totally unrelated sequels were made (by Johnny's brother Michael, no less).

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THIS WEEK: Basket Case (1982), Brain Damage (1988), Frankenhooker (1990), Bad Biology (2008)

Josh Lewis from the Sleazoids podcast helps Miros introduce Shawn Glinis to the king of 42nd St. gross-out grindhouse fare, Frank Henenlotter. An essential episode for anyone who enjoys zero-budget stop-motion animation and exploding prostitutes.

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The glitz! The glamor! The discourse!

That's right, it's Oscar season, and we're contractually obligated to discuss all of the bland prestige films that you'll completely forget about in another week. This year, we're broadcasting LIVE from your favorite left-of-the-dial AM radio station for a comprehensive breakdown of the 58th Annual Academy Awards with international film correspondent, Alistair Ryder.

THIS WEEK: Out of Africa (1985), Kiss of the Spider Woman (1985), Prizzi's Honor (1985), The Color Purple (1985), and Witness (1985)

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THIS WEEK: Waves of Lust (1975), Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man (1976), Raiders of Atlantis (1983), The Washing Machine (1993)

We're back at it with more pre and post-Cannibal Holocaust Deodato, covering everything from art house softcore, to Mad Max ripoffs, poliziottesco, and something that might qualify as an erotic thriller under the loosest definition.

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THIS WEEK: Clerks 3 (2022)

The 90s gifted us with a wealth of great independent filmmakers. Tarantino! Soderbergh! Rodriguez! Linklater! And... Kevin Smith. Thirty years after the original Clerks, Kevin was kind enough to make a third Clerks film that just might be his new career low point. Not bad for the guy who gave us Yoga Hosers!

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THIS WEEK: Hanging Heart (1989), Moonstalker (1989), and Dead Girls (1990)

We dive back into Vinegar Syndrome's Homegrown Horrors. What awaits within? A slasher without any gore, a hard rocking horror without any music, and a homoerotic legal thriller. The fun never ends here on Optimism Vaccine.

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Tim Thomerson is one of the finest character actors to ever live and a "guys who look like sexy stepdads" hall of famer. No one this side of Tom Atkins can convincingly romance a young Helen Hunt the way Thomerson does. Best of all, he does it with an Old Crow and Marlboro Lights aesthetic that has made him look 47 years old his entire life. Join us as we celebrate Tim Thomserson's action hero acting, comedic chops, and impossibly cool one-liners.

Dry hair is for squids! And Tim hates fucking squids!

THIS WEEK: Dollman (1991), Trancers (1984), Cherry 2000 (1987)

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Another year, another batch of Blumhouse horror films unceremoniously dropped on a streaming service in October. Join us as we revel in movie mediocrity and give ourselves a big, juicy, Halloween content enema.

THIS WEEK: The Lie (2018), Evil Eye (2020), Black Box (2020), and Nocturne (2020)

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THIS WEEK: Cube (1997), Triangle (2009), Sphere (1998)

We're not naming names, but someone with a toddler's brain took too many edibles and thought it would be a great idea to talk about movies about shapes. Or at least movies with shapes in the name? When was the last time you thought about Dustin Hoffman's performance in Sphere? Yeah, we never had either. Anyway, SHAPE CAST.

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THIS WEEK: Black Christmas (1974), When A Stranger Calls (1979), When A Stranger Calls Back (1993)

Jake just moved into a new house so it seems like a great time to remind him that psychopaths are always hiding in your attic so they can do terrible shit and then call you up and tell you about it. As a bonus, we got to watch a couple of classic horror flicks and a long gap made-for-tv sequel that is inexplicably great.

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After years of grinding Jake's soul into dust by making him watch a cornucopia of trash every week, we're finally giving you the episode of his dreams: David Lynch's (unofficial) Los Angeles trilogy. Join us as we gush about one of the greatest living American Filmmakers and try to determine if Robert Forester modeled his life after his character in Lost Highway.

THIS WEEK: Lost Highway (1997), Mullholland Drive (2001), Inland Empire (2006)

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THIS WEEK: My Son Hunter (2022)

Director Robert Davi (Rtas 'Vadum in Halo 2 and 3) and the conservative cinema vanguard have finally released the MAGA response to Adam McKay's liberal political comedies.

It's about time someone made a movie for Breitbart readers with a fetish for Gina Carano wearing an ill-fitting suit, don't you think?

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THIS WEEK: The Guyver (1991) and Guyver: Dark Hero (1994)

Brian Yuzna sure did make a pile money off of Honey I Shrunk the Kids. That's the only explanation for this franchise based on an incomprehensible manga that boldly toes the line between body horror and Barney.

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We're celebrating the holidays the only way we know how to: A critical reassessment of Dario Argento's most maligned (and recent) films. Tune in for a giallo that isn't a giallo (just an Adrian Brody lawsuit), a Suspiria sequel, and Dario's take on a mid-90s FMV aesthetic applied to a classic horror story.

THIS WEEK: Mother of Tears (2007), Giallo (2009), Dracula 3D (2012)

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THIS WEEK: The Prophecy (1995), The Prophecy II (1998), The Prophecy III (2000)

Angels walk among us and it turns out they're just white guys with beautiful hair who wear school shooter trenchcoats. Wild! Join us as we explore the world of pre-9/11 heavenly deities and the films that made them famous*

*Syndicated on the SyFy channel and collecting dust on your local video store's shelves.

That Vinegar Syndrome box set sure is nice though...

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THIS WEEK: Champagne and Bullets AKA Geteven AKA Road to Revenge (1993)

How do you measure greatness? When do you know you're watching an unimpeachable masterpiece? What is it like to touch the hand of God?

The closest any of us can really get is John DeHart's 1993 movie, Champagne and Bullets. Originally released to little fanfare and then re-edited and re-released multiple times by writer/director/actor/producer/composer John DeHart under alternate titles, Champagne and Bullets is an unforgettable film full of action, painfully long sex scenes, and satanic baby sacrifices.

Witness a visibly drunk Wings Hauser give the performance of a lifetime! Stand in awe of William Smith's gravel-voiced portrayal of the dastardly Normad (yes that's with a "d")!

Open your heart, dear listener, and let John DeHart gently shimmy slide into it.

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THIS WEEK: The Crow: City of Angels (1996), The Crow: Salvation (2000), The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

What's that? There's a brand new reboot of the Alex Proyas/Brandon Lee film, The Crow, and it stars the guy who played Pennywise in the IT remake? While the cowards make their way out of the local Hot Topic and into the AMC theater on the other side of the mall, only ONE podcast is daring to ignore both the beloved original and the maligned remake. That's right. It's the only Crow-cast with only Crow sequels. Pull out your Discman and pop in a burned CD with your favorite Nu-Metal jams. It's time to fly high with Edward Furlong and embrace the Crow cash-ins.

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We're continuing our annual October horror slate by jumping from Italian giallo to Lovecraftian splatter and dystopian weirdness from the good old USA. Join us as we stimulate Shawn Glinis' pineal gland and introduce him to Stuart Gordon's world of grotesque interdimensional monsters and living corpses.

THIS WEEK: Re-Animator (1985), From Beyond (1986), and Fortress (1992)

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THIS WEEK: Awakening of the Beast (1970), The End of Man (1971), When the Gods Fall Asleep (1972)

Our Coffin Joe retrospective takes a wild swerve into LSD fueled meta-fiction freakouts and we take a look at Jose Mojica Marins other reoccurring role as Finis Hominis.

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After three long years, your favorite Cowboy Bebop podcast/OV spinoff series, Woolong Club, is BACK!

On this episode: Spike and Jet's partnership is on the rocks, as a melancholy Faye makes a mysterious friend on the Callisto, and the sinister Vicious makes his long awaited return!

Listen to the rest of Woolong Club:

https://player.captivate.fm/collection/6e4352c8-9d44-488f-8b26-eea6f0657295

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THIS WEEK: Nekromantik (1988), Der Todesking (1990), Nekromantik 2 (1991) and Schramm (1993)

It's time for Shawn's final exam, as we introduce him to the shocking, grotesque poetry of zero budget German maestro Jörg Buttgereit. No genitals were mutilated in the making of this podcast.

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THIS WEEK: Scanners 2: The New Order (1991), Scanners 3: The Takeover (1991), Scanner Cop (1994), and Scanner Cop 2: Volkin's Revenge (1995)

We celebrate the release of Crimes of the Future by examining the only franchise to emerge from a David Cronenberg film: Scanners. Surely, each sequel will prove more cerebral than the last.

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THIS WEEK: The Laughing Dead (1989) and Shatter Dead (1994)

From the fringe corners of the zombie film spectrum comes a pair of movies that might have "dead" in the title but couldn't be further from anything George A. Romero has cooked up. One is a bleak, shot-on-video masterpiece proudly proclaiming that "God hates you." The other is about catholic romance, kaiju battles, and basketball. Normal stuff, really.

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THIS WEEK: The Evil Dead (1981), Evil Dead II (1987), Army of Darkness (1982)

Like an incurable rash, SHAWNTOBER returns again so we can subject respectable film lover and Wiseman Cast host Shawn Glinis to all the horror films he's managed to avoid watching for decades. This year, we're starting off with a big blind spot: Evil Dead.

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THIS WEEK: Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Cobra (1986) and Tombstone (1993)

Depending on who you ask, George P. Cosmatos is either a master of blockbuster action and horror cinema or just a yes man for Sly Stallone. Only Optimism Vaccine knows the truth.

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2021 was a great year for roller skating ninjas, wholesome paternal love and people named Ryusuke Hamaguchi. Join us as we talk about the best films of 2021 and once again try to convince you to watch Me You Madness.

THIS WEEK: New York Ninja (2021), Me You Madness (2021), Pig (2021), Titane (2021), The Worst Person in the World (2021), Drive My Car (2021), Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy (2021), Red Rocket (2021), Licorice Pizza (2021) France (2021)

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Throughout the 80s and 90s, David and Peter Paul, The Barbarian Brothers, were the ultimate Hollywood triple threat; acting, singing and flexing their way through the world of film and television. Sadly, the beefiest boys to ever grace the silver screen never reached superstar status. Max Nestorowich (Good Brews Bad Views) and Claire Higginbottom join us as we dig deep into Barbarian Brothers lore, explore their filmography, and try to determine if David and Peter are the greatest fashion icons of all time or just a couple of himbos who got to party with Ruggero Deodato and Jon Turteltaub.

THIS WEEK: The Barbarians (1987), Think Big (1989), Double Trouble (1992), and Twin Sitters (1994)

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THIS WEEK: Saltburn (2023) and Chick Flick (2023)

In 2023 we were blessed with a film from one of contemporary cinema's most extraordinary new voices. Oh, and Emerald Fennell made a movie about Barry Keoghan trying to impregnate a pile of dirt. Anyway, it's time to see if either of these bourgeoise girl bosses knocked it out of the park with their sophomore efforts so we can determine once and for all if we're all getting matching Louise Linton tattoos.

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THIS WEEK: Christmas Evil (1980) and Blood Beat (1983)

We tried our best to find some things you could watch with the whole family this holiday season. Gather 'round the Yule log and enjoy the classic combination of a glowing Christmas samurai and Santa Claus Travis Bickle. Your mom is going to love this.

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THIS WEEK: Snapdragon (1993), Raw Force (1994), Barb Wire (1996), Naked Souls (1996)

From Playboy centerfold to first-run syndication starlet and tabloid fodder, only one woman can claim the title of THE definitive cultural icon of the 1990s: Pamela Anderson. Sure, you're probably familiar with Anderson's big-budget studio film, Barb Wire, but what about the rest of her cinematic oeuvre? Join us as we dissect the 90s movies that made Pam Anderson (not so) famous, read excerpts from her semi-autobiographical novels, and try to figure out how she got involved with a Power Rangers director.

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THIS WEEK: Les Biches AKA Bad Girls (1968), La Femme Infidèle AKA The Unfaithful Wife (1969), and Merci Pour Le Chocolat AKA Nightcap (2000)

If you're still sleeping on Chabrol, Shawn Glinis is back to tell you exactly what you're missing out on with three stone-cold classics from the underrated French New Wave master.

THIS WEEK: Stage Fright a.k.a. Aquarius (1987), The Sect (1991), and Cemetary Man a.k.a. Dellamorte Dellamore

It wouldn't be October if we weren't introducing Shawn to another Italian master of horror. This year, it's the top disciple of Dario Argento, Joe D'Amato, and Lucio Fulci, and the last artistic gasp of the Italian horror film industry: Michele Soavi.

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THIS WEEK: Emanuelle in America (1977), Star Of David: Beautiful Girl Hunter (1979), Bitter Moon (1992)

VOTE ON THE NAME FOR THIS MONTH'S THEME

ANOTHER PATRON REQUEST EPISODE!

Theres no better way to kick off November than with a trio of movies that would get a more respectable podcast shamed and criticized into oblivion. Lucky for us, most people don't care about which films we cover and those who do hold us to the lowest of standards.

We'll be tackling all the hard hitting questions this week like: Why is the greatest amount of effort Joe D'Amato has ever put into a film a few grainy snippets of people being convincingly tortured? Was David Cronenberg kind of into that shit? Is Star of David mostly anti-semitic or the most anti-semitic? How much does it rule when Peter Coyote nostalgically yearns for Roman Polanski's wife to pee on him?

All of these answered AND MORE!

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What's that? You're isolated from everyone you love during a holiday centered on comradery and familial gathering? Your life has been ravaged by unfettered capitalism, leaving you at the mercy of a federal government unwilling to offer even the slightest bit of relief as they they twist the boot pressed against your neck?

Join us as we suffer in solidarity this Thanksgiving the only way we know how: By watching vaguely related, Thanksgiving-ish splatter films in preparation to make a blood sacrifice to a long-lost Egyption god. It's what the pilgrims would have wanted. Or at least it's what Herschell Gordon Lewis would have wanted.

THIS WEEK: BLOOD FEAST (1963), BLOOD RAGE (1987), and BLOOD DINER (1987)

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THIS WEEK: Ator The Fighting Eagle (1982), Ator 2: The Blade Master (1984), Alfonso Brescia's Iron Warrior (1987), Quest For The Mighty Sword (1990)

When you're looking for greatness (or maybe just a cheap Italian knockoff of the Conan series) look no further than Joe D'Amato's Ator series. A master class in the power of muscular men in loin cloths interacting with live animals and abysmal special effects.

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The Bebop crew visits Jet's old stomping ground, Ganymede, and encounter his ex-girlfriend along with her new criminal boyfriend. Plus, Steve and Colin take a look at the history of Jet Black's voice actor, Beau Billingslea.

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THIS WEEK: A Letter From Death Row (1998) and No Code of Conduct (1998)

Wassa goin' on? Our Patrons have spoken. That's wassa goin' on. And by "spoken" we mean they voted in a cryptic poll that lead to us watching the films of Bret Michaels this week. From singing for the 80s hair metal band Poison to winning Celebrity Apprentice and starring in his own reality TV dating show, Bret Michaels has done it all. He even formed his own film production company with Charlie Sheen in the 90s to show the world what a true Oscar-caliber performance looks like. Behold the power of cinema.

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THIS WEEK: Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990), No Exit (1995), The Viking Sagas (1995)

Hunk Month, AKA the quest to explore every muscleman-turned-actor in Arnold Schwarzenegger's orbit, continues with a look at some of the major roles played by bodybuilder/powerlifter/natural villain/danish dynamo, Sven-Ole Thorsen. That also means you get TWO Damnia Lee films, a Eurovision star, and all the Jesse Ventura fake Terminator action you can handle.

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This week, we're sailing the tumultuous seas of moral outrage as Ana Gavrilovska joins us to discuss Netflix's foray into pre-teen twerking: Cuties (2020). Are we bearing witness to an insidious plot by a cabal of globalist sex pests? Or is Maïmouna Doucouré's debut feature actually an insightful look at the effect Western culture is having on sexually confused younglings? Listen in as we crack the case.

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THIS WEEK: Father Stu (2022)

Sometimes God calls you to do something extraordinary. Maybe he wants you to get blackout drunk and carbo load until you're accepted into the priesthood. Maybe he wants you to team up with Mel Gibson and his girlfriend to make the Catholic biopic every major studio has already declined. Either way, nothing beats mop top Marky Mark on the silver screen teaching us about redemption and how to uppercut the blessed virgin to show her you mean business.

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THIS WEEK: Wild Things (1998), Wild Things 2 (2004), Wild Things: Diamonds in the Rough (2005), Wild Things: Foursome (2010)

Every red blooded film fanatic knows the original Wild Things is a pulpy sleazy neo-noir classic. BUT did you know that we were also blessed with not one, not two but THREE sequels? Even more puzzling is the fact that they're all basically identical to the original but without a strong supporting role from Bill Murray and Kevin Bacon's dong. Who needs Matt Dillon when you've got Ashley Parker Angel from O-Town and a guy from Grey's Anatomy (no not the one you're thinking of)

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THIS WEEK: If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do? (1971), The Burning Hell (1974), The Believer's Heaven (1977)

Throughout the 1950s and 60s, Ron Ormond and his family made a name for themselves peddling trashy drive-in flicks across the country. After a near-fatal plane crash, the Ormonds gave up their wicked ways and dedicated their lives to God. So how does an exploitation filmmaker convert from sinner to saint? Well, in the case of Ron Ormond, that meant partnering with the Reverend Estus Pirkle and creating a trio of fire, brimstone, and child decapitation movies the likes of which the world had never seen or will see produced again.

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Fantasy isn't just your favorite mid-90s Mariah Carey song. It's the place where D&D nerd storytelling collides head-on with oiled-up beefcakes.

For this episode, we're digging into the gorgeous new 4K release of Don Coscarelli's Beastmaster from Vinegar Syndrome. We're also getting way too deep into He-Man lore and proving once and for all that Lucio Fulci can do anything if you give him a bucket of fake blood and a fog machine.

THIS WEEK: Masters of the Universe (1987), Beastmaster (1982), and Conquest (1983)

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Nia DaCosta and Jordan Peele liked our podcast on Candyman (1992) from a few years ago so much, they decided to resurrect the series with a direct sequel! They also pulled the classic move of trying to erase the two poorly received sequels from the film's continuity. We can't simply stand back and accept Tody Todd erasure. Join us as we examine the new, critically acclaimed Candyman and dig back into the derided films in the series that buried the franchise for over two decades.

THIS WEEK: Candyman: Farwell to the Flesh (1995), Candyman: Day of the Dead (1999), Candyman (2021)

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THIS WEEK: The Witches of Eastwick (1987), The Witches of Breastwick (2005), Popatopolis (2009)

Jim Wynorski and George Miller have a lot in common when you really stop to think about it. Just a couple of guys making little movies about witches with a few stars in them. Although, only one of these filmmakers has worked with future president sex haver, Stormy Daniels. Tune in to find out which one!

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THIS WEEK: Mad Dog Time (1996) and Hell Ride (2008)

Larry Bishop rubbed shoulders with the Hollywood elite at a young age and made a name for himself among cult film fans with roles in classic biker exploitation movies like The Savage Seven and Wild in the Streets. So what happens when Larry cashes in his clout and connections to write and direct his own feature films?

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THIS WEEK: Hot to Trot (1988)

Episode 200 is brought to you by a dream. A dream that one day, Optimism Vaccine would cover the classic talking horse/Bobcat Goldthwait star vehicle, Hot to Trot, and the corresponding episode would thrust the podcast into the upper echelon of respected outlets for serious film criticism.

Or maybe we just talked about horse dicks for 90 minutes. Only one way to find out. Happy 200th episode!

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THIS WEEK: Yes, Madam! (1985) and Righting Wrongs (1986)

Ronda Rousey might call herself "the baddest woman on the planet" but we all know that can't be true as long as Cynthia Rothrock is still breathing. This week, we're exploring a pair of Hong Kong action classics from the five-time martial arts champion turned underappreciated action queen of 80s and 90s.

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The moment you start dipping your toes into the murky waters of Italian horror cinema, everyone will tell you the same thing: "Dario Argento is great! Just don't watch anything after Opera!"

But what if those dweebs were wrong? What if Argento was still making good films well into the 00s?

Or maybe they're actually all shit. There's only one way to find out.

THIS WEEK: Sleepless (2001), The Card Player (2004), Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005)

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Pierce Brosnan leaves the world of 007 behind him to make way for the first James Bond film of the contemporary era: Casino Royale. Does Daniel Craig have the chops to take on a serious adaptation of Casino Royale? Is he at least better than David Niven? Can James Bond survive in a Jason Bourne world?

Tune in and find out.

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THIS WEEK: Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989) and Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation

After Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 was reduced to an underfunded clip show, you would think more sequels to the beloved holiday slasher would be unlikely. Shows what you know. As a testament to unexplained franchise resiliency, two more sequels quickly followed from the legendary Monte Hellman (with a twin peaks adjacent cast) and splatter god Brian Yuzna (with special effects from Screaming Mad George). Just for added fun, neither really has much to do with the rest of the franchise or Christmas. But hey, why would that matter?

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It's been nearly 25 years since the original Cowboy Bebop first helped you convince your friends that anime wasn't just horny cartoons about tentacles and robots. So what do you do with a cool cultural artifact that has stood the test of time? Why grind it up into weeb sausage and barf it back up as a live action Netflix series, of course! Thank god Christopher L. Yost is finally giving the Jon Cho fanatics the show they've been clamoring for.

THIS WEEK: Cowboy Bebop: Season 1 (2021)

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Listen to Woolong Club, an episode by episode look at the original Cowboy Bebop:

https://player.captivate.fm/collection/6e4352c8-9d44-488f-8b26-eea6f0657295

THIS WEEK: RRR (2022)

With Steve marooned on a godless island, we've called Jake Tropila away from his fatherly duties to discuss the best film of the... year? Decade? Century? All answers are valid.

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Our odyssey into the bizarre corners of pseudo-pornography comes to a close with one of the best (and one of the worst) films we've watched yet. Is a horned up version of The Muppets Take Manhatten enough to finally break the will of Adam Miros? Will a dozen naked French men in the woods drive Jack's wife to smother him with a pillow in his sleep? Possibly!

THIS WEEK: Let My Puppets Come (1976), Liberté (2019), and The Telephone Book (1971)

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THIS WEEK: Mother's Day (1980), Mommie Dearest (1981), Grand Jeté (2022)

Some cowards only celebrate moms once a year. Here, we're dedicated to eschewing that silly Hallmark holiday and respecting mothers a week later when no one is expecting it. We're absolutely not late on this one I promise. So why not celebrate moms the best way we know how: With three of the finest and most upstanding mothers in cinematic history. No Wire hangers this week. Just a juicy slab of hicksploitation, a notorious flop, and some arthouse slop.

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Daniel Craig reprises his role as 007 and the James Bond franchise reins are taken over by Finding Neverland director and noted whitebread auteur, Marc Forster. What could possibly go wrong? Jake and Jack investigate.

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Jack and Jake are joined by Film Inquiry Editor in Chief, Kristy Strouse, to discuss the first Sam Mendes helmed Bond flick, Skyfall. Will Jack channel his inner Adele and sing a rousing rendition of the Skyfall theme song? Will Jake be able to contain his passionate love for Javier Bardem? Will our guest be able to tolerate both of the hosts? Tune in to find out.

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The Bebop crew goes after a bounty that leads them deep into space in search of an ancient chess master, while the Woolong Club crew gives you the history of Cowboy Bebop on home video and the game of chess.

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THIS WEEK: Death Race 2000 (1975), Rollerball (1975), The Running Man (1987)

Recently, President Joe Biden tried to salvage his legacy after a disastrous debate performance against Donald Trump by going on national television and reassuring the American people he was fit to be the commander-in-chief. Unfortunately, he committed the ultimate gaff and revealed that in America, things aren't settled by voting -- We handle it all at THE BATTLE BOX.

What do we really know about the ongoing American tradition of trial by combat at The Battle Box? We look to the world of film for clues. Will Hollywood reveal the answers?

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If a bipedal ape kills in the forest and no one has a GoPro, was a crime ever committed? Can great apes even be punished for capital crimes? Why won't Jack just acknowledge his love of Chicago's premiere retro-themed diner, Ed Debevic's?

In case it isn't abundantly clear, we watched a pair of found footage sasquatch films to finally dip our toes into the rich and rewarding world of Bigfoot Cinema.

THIS WEEK: Exists (2014) and Willow Creek (2013)

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THIS WEEK: Blood Bath (1966), The Velvet Vampire (1971)

Shawntober continues with Roger Corman protégé and criminally underrated New Hollywood auteur, Stephanie Rothman.

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THIS WEEK: Skinamarink (2022) and Lemora: A Child’s Tale of the Supernatural (1973)

Turns out the scariest movie of 2022 is a zero-budget, Canadian horror film that trades cheap scares for foreboding liminal spaces.

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THIS WEEK: Ghosthouse (1988), Witchery (1988), Beyond Darkness (1990)

While noted coward and layabout Sam Raimi was busy not making Army of Darkness, the brave and noble Italian film industry stepped in with three Evil Dead sequels of their own. The La Casa series proves once and for all that with the power of Claudio Fragasso, Umberto Lenzi, Fabrizio Laurenti, and Joe D'Amato, anything is possible.

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THIS WEEK: Ravenous (1999), The Proposition (2005), Lawless (2012)

Nobody pulls off the "exhausted Australian in dire need of a bath" look quite like Guy Pearce. Maybe that's why when it comes to contemporary westerns he's been a go-to actor for decades. This week, we're watching three films starring our guy, Guy, and making an official statement on whether or not Ravenous is a lost classic or just something horror film nerds won't stop talking to you about.

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Jake and Jack finally tackle the latest (and longest) James Bond film, Spectre, with special guest, Alistair Ryder.

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THIS WEEK: Daisies (1966) and Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

When it comes to films that are dialed in on extreme provocation and destruction, it's hard to beat Věra Chytilová's landmark Czech New Wave classic, Daises or Tom Green's unfairly maligned 2001 magnum opus, Freddy Got Fingered. One is a complex takedown of patriarchal norms and authoritarianism. The other has Rip Torn getting covered in elephant cum. Tune in to figure out which one is which!

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THIS WEEK: Slash (1984), The Intruder AKA Pembalasan Rambu (1985), Strike Commando (1987)

Knockoff month marches on with a visit to Indonesia and the Philippines where we trade in Stallone’s Rambo for a Rambu, a Ransom, and a guy named Slash with a DIY rocket launcher. One of these movies was filmed in the exact same location as Apocalypse Now, but is it as good? Tune in to find out.

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THIS WEEK: Blood Freak (1972)

This year, we have a lot to be thankful for. Shag carpet, wood panel walls, Pall Mall cigarettes, half-baked Animorph murder turkeys, cool drugs, and scar tissue from third-degree burns - the list goes on. Join us as we celebrate this joyous American holiday by watching one of the most foundational no-budget Floridian films of all time, Blood Freak.

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THIS WEEK: Hellraiser (1987), Nightbreed (1990), Lord of Illusions (1995)

Clive Barker is a British author, filmmaker, and visual artist known for his contributions to the horror and dark fantasy genres. While his primary claim to fame is as a novelist and short story writer, he also had a brief but impactful career as a film director.

Clive Barker made his directorial debut with "Hellraiser," a horror film based on his own novella "The Hellbound Heart." The movie introduced audiences to the iconic character Pinhead and explored themes of pleasure and pain through a puzzle box that opens a gateway to a sadomasochistic underworld. "Hellraiser" received critical acclaim for its originality and graphic special effects, making it a cult classic in the horror genre.

Barker's second directorial effort was "Nightbreed," a dark fantasy film based on his own novel "Cabal." The story revolved around a man who discovers a hidden world of monsters living beneath a cemetery. While the film had a troubled production and was heavily edited by the studio, it has gained a dedicated fanbase over the years, leading to a "Director's Cut" release that better aligns with Barker's vision.

Barker's third and, to date, final directorial work was "Lord of Illusions," a supernatural horror film. The story followed a private investigator who becomes entangled with a charismatic illusionist with dark, supernatural abilities. The film explored themes of magic and mysticism and was based on Barker's short story "The Last Illusion." While it didn't achieve the same level of success as his previous films, it still has a following among genre enthusiasts.

After "Lord of Illusions," Clive Barker shifted his focus primarily to his writing and other creative endeavors, such as painting and producing films. His work in the horror and fantasy genres continues to influence the industry, and his creations, particularly Pinhead from "Hellraiser," have left a lasting impact on pop culture. While his film directing career was relatively brief, his contributions to the horror genre remain notable and enduring

Thanks for the summary, ChatGPT. Let's see if it dupes more people into listening to this.

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THIS WEEK: Scoundrels (1982), All American Girls (1982), Irresistible (1982), Night Hunger (1983), Nothing to Hide (1981)

It's that time of year again! The big award show! The hottest night in Hollywood! Step out on the red carpet with us and celebrate the stars of the silver screen!

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Part two of the OV Oscar extravaganza continues with a discussion of the remaining Best Picture nominations, including Lady Bird, The Post, Get Out and Three BillBoards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.

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Part three of our MEGA TURBO OSCAR COVERAGE EXTRAVAGANZA wraps up the 2018 award season with a discussion of the nominees for best cinematography, adapted and original screenplay as well as the best documentary, animated and foreign films.

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Inhale. Feel the energy of a disgraced film critic returning to the internet. Exhale. Listen to the OV crew try to figure out why he's reviewing films again. Once your mind is in a tranquil state, continue to listen for reviews of Annihilation, Game Night and the latest episodes of 9-1-1.

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Shawn returns from Austin to talk about his experience at SXSW. PLUS: A review of the painfully mediocre Tomb Raider and the return of the 9-1-1 (BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION) recap.

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Jake and Jack return from their Casino Royale hangover to discuss the final film before Sean Connery's first official Bond retirement, You Only Live Twice

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When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one podcast to dissolve their brains, they go to the local multiplex and subject themselves to Ernest Cline and Steven Spielberg's Ready Player One. What you are about to hear is an unedited document of the OV Crew's cinematic suffering as they wallow in a shallow pool of pop culture refuse. Listen closely. Don't make the same mistakes we've made.

Outro theme by Demi Adejuyigbe (@electrolemon)

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Jim from The Office has declared that horror films are "elevated" now so it's totally cool to take them seriously! The OV crew investigates by checking out A Quiet Place, Truth or Dare and Unsane.

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New episode and a NEW Bond: Jake and Jack take a look at George Lazenby's first (and only) appearance as James Bond in 1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

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A24 horror and Blumhouse RoboCop storm the cinema and the OV Boyz are here to tell you how to spend your hard earned money (or maybe just your daily MoviePass screening allotment).

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George Lazenby is OUT and Sean Connery is BACK (for the small price of a record-breaking salary). Jack and Jake settle in for this campy, divisive Bond flick featuring martinis and a moon buggy. What else do you need in film, really?

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Spend too much time on POPULIST CINEMA and the art house crowd starts to cry out for more content. The OV Crew obliges. Join us as we talk about the best films of 2018 so far that might not make it to your local multiplex, including The Rider, Let the Sunshine In, You Were Never Really Here, First Reformed and more!

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Roger Moore makes his James Bond film debut and special guest Adam Miros makes his For Your Ears Only podcast debut! Join the boys as they discuss Live and Let Die: A hodgepodge of blaxploitation cliches and Paul McCartney music.

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The OV crew shares their experiences from THE BINGE: A one time event where all four Purge films are watched and discussed. Remember, government officials ranking 10 or higher must remain unharmed, the use of weaponry above Class 4 is forbidden and police and emergency services are suspended.

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The age of single screen horror is upon us! The OV crew talks Unfriended and its sequel, Unfriended: Dark Web as well as the lesser known Friend Request. BONUS: unfunny sex jokes and mocking alt-right internet figures.

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A rare ALMOST TIMELY episode from the OV crew. This week, we hit the local multiplex to check out critical darlings Searching and The Little Stranger. Oh and Shane Black’s new dumpster fire, The Predator, too. BONUS: dramatic reading of a classic David Ehrlich review and the return of the official Optimism Vaccine Went to the Movies theme song.

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Upon its release in 1974, Guy Hamilton’s final Bond movie was derided for its lighthearted tone. Is Roger Moore enough to buoy this James Bond film, or is the The Man with the Golden Gun still a dud over 40 years later?

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Optimism Vaccine continues the time-honored October tradition of introducing Shawn to great horror auteurs. This year, for really no good reason at all, we chose Joe D’Amato. Yeah, seriously. Join us as Shawn experiences classic like Beyond the Darkness, Anthropophagous, Absurd and… umm… Porno Holocaust.

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