Nope! We're Not Monogamous (Ellecia Paine)
Explore every episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10 Feb 2022 | Astrology and Non-Monogamy, Ep. 18 | 00:49:18 | |
Today I'm talking to Brooke Underwood, aka Oracle Brooke about the ebbs and flows of relationships as a metaphor for what's going on in each person's natal birth chart and non traditional relationships and the exploratory tendencies that are seen in people's birth charts. This conversation was super fascinating for me as it goes much deeper than anything I've ever talked about or learned in astrology. Brooke Underwood aka Oracle Brooke, is a Master Intuitive Channel, Embodied Astrologist and Spiritual Mentor who has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs and creatives shift limiting unconscious beliefs and inner conflict patterns so they can connect to their intuitive truth and live a life they love. She utilizes the ancient healing arts of Western & Vedic Astrology, Psychic Channeling and Hypnotherapy so her clients can amplify their soul mission while staying in symbiosis with their pure embodiment - in love with their life and business. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Brooke? www.brooke-underwood.com https://www.instagram.com/brookeunderwoodofficial/ 📚 Books mentioned: ● Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, by Jeff Green 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online - Website Credits - Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About Us Elleci 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 24 Feb 2022 | Diversity and Equity in Non-Monogamous Communities, Ep. 19 | 00:32:38 | |
Today I'm talking with Crystal Byrd Farmer, a polyamorous speaker and writer from Gastonia, North Carolina. We talked about her book, The Token - Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your Organization, and how to do the work to have more inclusive communities. Plus loads of good stuff about polyamory, solo poly, BDSM, and more! Crystal is the former website editor of Black and Poly, an online community for black people exploring non monogamy. She also serves as a board member with the foundation for intentional communities and the BIPOC intentional community council. Her book The Token: Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your Organization, is out now. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a 5 star review or a sweet note. Want to connect with Crystal? 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online - Website Credits 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 10 Mar 2022 | Vikings, Vulnerability, and Polyamory, Ep. 20 | 00:57:52 | |
Today, I am speaking with Ragnar, the modern viking! He shares with us his Viking longship analogy about relationships and my mind was kind of blown. We also get into how polyamory helped him break the cycle of abuse and become a much more vulnerable human and his personal journey of identifying as and coming out as a polyamorous person. Ragnar Craigsson is a Trauma-Informed Mindset coach specializing in teaching driven individuals how to choose the most effective behaviors for accomplishing their goals. Ragnar focuses on self-determined behavioral modification through his coaching system, GoingAViking. The GAV coaching system combines ancient wisdom with modern psychology to teach you how to custom design a mindset capable of Radical Acceptance, Iron Resilience, Post-Traumatic Growth, and Lasting relationships. Ragnar is a proud Solo-Polyamorous LGBTQIA+ Ally sapiophile and part of the kink/BDSM community. He has extensive experience with interpersonal trauma, and uses that experience combined with rigorous self-study to help others dealing with the same adversity to laugh through the storm and be less alone on the other side of their journey. Ragnar also lives a Modern Viking Lifestyle, from participating in Viking Age historical reenactment to living each and everyday applying ancient wisdom from the Havamal he attempts to channel the spirit of the Viking Age into his life and passion for his clients. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Ragnar? Instagram: @Ragnarthemodernviking Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/Ragnarthemodernviking Email:ragnarthemodernviking@asgardinvestmentsllc.com 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online - Website 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 24 Mar 2022 | Starting Out Strong: First Steps to ENM, Ep. 21 | 00:54:00 | |
This week I am speaking with Dr. Joli Hamilton. This is one of my favorite episodes that I've recorded yet. Meeting someone whose journey feels so similar to my own is so validating and is really what I hope to provide for so many of you the listeners. Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love and host of the Project Relationship podcast. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Dr. Joli? Grab her top 5 Relationship Guides here 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online - Website Credits About US Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in ge 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 07 Apr 2022 | Epic Communication with the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships, Ep 22 | 00:48:04 | |
Kate Loree is a sex positive Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in non monogamous, kink, LGBTQ and sex worker communities. Kate and I discuss attachment styles, her epic communication system, and the importance of somatic tracking when you're making decisions in non monogamous relationships. Kate is a certified sex educator and an EMDR certified therapist with additional training and trauma resiliency model for the treatment of trauma. She's been practicing psychotherapy since 2003. And she's also the co host of her own sex positive podcast Open Deeply with Sunny Megatron. She's a frequent public speaker, and she is also an author of what I think will be a best selling book, Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious Compassionate Open Relationships. This book tackles a lot of the difficult challenges that are posed by non monogamous relationships. She is sharing stories from her own life as well as her clients experiences to illustrate the highs and lows and in-betweens of life. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Kate? https://kateloree.com/ Instagram http://instagram.com/opendeeplywithkateloree TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@opendeeplywithkateloree?lang=en Facebook https://www.facebook.com/kateloreelmft Twitter http://twitter.com/kateloreelmft 📚 Books mentioned: 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 21 Apr 2022 | Navigating the Biggest Pitfalls of Open Relationships, Ep. 23 | 00:48:49 | |
I'm talking to Shai and Lea today, the creators of the Secure Poly Collective about the biggest pitfalls of open relationships and I'm really excited to share this with you because they have so many wonderful tools and ideas. They share with you about how to feel more safe, seen and loved while also having the freedom to explore open relationship adventures that lead to fulfilling growth and healing and service to others. Shai and Lea are considered two of the go-to people for ethical non-monogamy education. They've built a worldwide brand that includes both a Free and Membership Based Community, Dating,Events, Education & Coaching. Their mission is to help partners thrive, not just survive, in conscious open relationships using their signature Eco-AmoryTM philosophy. What differentiates Lea and Shai in their teachings is that they see conscious non-monogamy as a vehicle for deep healing and personal growth. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Shai and Lea
📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 05 May 2022 | Growing Through Jealousy, Ep. 24 | 01:09:27 | |
We're talking all about jealousy in non monogamy and how to process all these really hard complicated feelings and move through them without blowing up your relationships. My dear friend Wilder is joining me today and you might remember her from episode four of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, Wilder is in a closed triad with a married couple and gets to experience all of these feelings of essentially being the third person in an established relationship and moves through it so beautifully. She is sharing a lot of the ways that she's done that and I share a lot of my own experiences of being someone who is in a marriage that brought more people into it and the feelings of jealousy from that side. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online Credits About US Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate wit 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 19 May 2022 | The Importance of Self-Consent, Ep 25 | 00:42:30 | |
Today I'm talking with the world's most interesting podcast guest, Chuck Copenspire. We talk about my favorite topic, relationships and non monogamy and near the end we explore self-consent and the power of being in tune with your body. Chuck Copenspire is a former life coach, dominatrix, animator, programmer, and woman. They're currently a trans masculine, non binary human, forager, tech optimizer, friend, neighbor, relationship autonomist, and solo parent. Their goals are–to be on as many podcasts as possible, to foster or adopt as many arthropods and vertebrates or other creepy crawlies as possible, to collect a jar of a billionaire tears generated by their ability to connect sincerely and deeply in the moment and help them connect with their benevolent power and humanity, and to inspire people who feel like they don't belong to find their truest expression and the people that resonate with it. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Chuck? -Website: https://chuckcopenspire.carrd.co/ -Spicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/possibillionaire6x/ -Wholesome Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a.beaut.iful.mess/ -LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/ -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chucknspire -Twitter: https://twitter.com/Chuckenspire -TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@your.pansexual.crisis -YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4RWdxJSuIasguMtkVGE8SQ 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 02 Jun 2022 | Lazy Successful Non-Monogamy, Ep. 26 | 00:53:10 | |
As we all know, the mental health impact of the pandemic combined with the process of opening up a monogamous, long term marriage can create a lot of challenges to overcome. Today we're talking about unwinding codependency, some of the mismatch that came up in the speed at which each of them wanted to open the relationship, some jealousy, fitting it into life while raising kids and running a business, and so much more. Today I'm talking to Rachel Symington, aka the successful lazy bitch, and her husband Greg. They live in rural Kentucky with their two little kids and have been married for over a decade. They decided to become non-monogamous the summer of 2021, and have been exploring all of the aspects that come along with that. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Rachel? 📚 Books mentioned: ● And That’s Their Family, by Kailee Coleman 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online - Website Credits About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they'v 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 16 Jun 2022 | Sexy, Confident Non-Monogamy, Ep. 27 | 00:32:55 | |
I'm talking to Tia Lynn, the Sexy Biz Babe who helps women own their confidence and power in the bedroom and the boardroom. We have a really great conversation around overcoming shame, enjoying things for yourself, and experiencing compersion. Tia helps online female entrepreneurs stand out in a crowded market by owning their Purpose, Pleasure, and Power, so that they can organically attract more clients with ease. Her methods are known to increase self-confidence, income, and to have the best sex of their life! 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Tia? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Getting It on In a Group - Intentional Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes Course 👀 Find Us Online Credits About US Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 30 Jun 2022 | Is non-monogamy written in your DNA?, Ep. 28 | 00:50:14 | |
What the heck is human design and what could it possibly have to do with my relationships? I've worked with Amber for about six months, and the information that I got was so validating; for my relationships, for my business, and for my parenting. It was kind of mind blowing to have someone speak out loud, all of these pieces of me that I kind of knew were there, but I hadn't put into words. If you have any curiosity about human design, and what it might have to do with your relationships, a big piece of this is self acceptance and validation. And we all know that this is the key to moving through relationships, especially non monogamous relationships in a way that keeps us feeling loved and safe and connected. Amber Keyes is a Business Success Mentor who began her Human Design journey in 2014. She is deeply passionate about this system as the quintessential tool for all things business, and loves weaving her expertise in simplified business strategy, emotional regulation tools, mindset, and human design to help her clients create THEIR life, and THEIR business, on THEIR terms. She says the best thing about her work is watching her clients unsubscribe from unhelpful societal shoulds and step fully into their creative power, especially when it comes to making money doing what they love. When she isn't helping her clients with confidence, clarity, or consistent sustainable income, she is walking her dog, making memories with her son, and enjoying the life that her business affords her. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Amber? Join me in my Facebook Group, Your Life, Your Biz, Your Way With Human Design Use Code NOPE for $111 off a 90-Minute Human Design Discovery Session 📚 Tools mentioned: 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 14 Jul 2022 | Honing Your Desires in Polyamory, Ep. 29 | 00:54:32 | |
This week I’m talking with my friend, Ashley Thibodaux. Ashley helps women find safety to rest in and believes that the only way to speed up is to slow down. We talk a lot about how to find safety in your relationship choices and how to create a list of non-negotiables, boundaries, and requirements of what you need in your relationships. Ashley leads programs, 1:1 coaching, fitness + rest classes rooted in creating safety in the body and coming home to your heart. Her mission is to deepen her connection with herself therefore creating deeper relationships with others. Then, she guides women to do the same. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Ashley? 📚 Books mentioned: ● The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online About US Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 28 Jul 2022 | Boundaries for Building Safety and Trust, Ep. 30 | 01:03:22 | |
Today I am giving you a sneak peek into our community Facebook group, also called Nope, We're Not Monogamous and a workshop we had last week! In that workshop, Elizabeth Claire de Lune and I explored boundaries. We talk about rules and agreements versus boundaries, why we often don't develop a good sense for our boundaries and why safety is important for healthy relationships with yourself and with others. Elizabeth Clair de Lune helps humans at all stages of the divorce process - navigating the dissolution, building the resilience and new identity afterwards, and creating what’s next after you’ve found your footing again. She shows you how to harvest the lessons of high conflict, difficult experiences so that you can have the resilient backbone you need to offer your heart fully. Leave a review and let us know what you think or get exclusives by joining our Patreon. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Elizabeth Clare de Lune on Facebook or her website, www.elizabethclairdelune.com 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 11 Aug 2022 | Good Girls Talk About Non-Monogamy, with Leah Carey, Ep. 31 | 00:59:22 | |
This week I am talking to Leah Carey. Leah is a sex and intimacy coach and she's the host of Good Girls Talk About Sex. We talk about her evolution from someone who didn't talk about sex and who was very sexually repressed to someone who talks about sex a lot, very publicly. We also talk a lot about learning to share your needs and she shares her experiences and a tool for you to try at home! Leah works with people to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires like diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, or having first time queer experiences, or investigating consensual non monogamy or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. She reflects your true sexual nature back to you without judgment, so you can see yourself without shame. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Leah? www.Leahcarey.com 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 07 Sep 2022 | Finding Yourself in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 32 | 00:46:54 | |
I am so excited to share with you this conversation with Emily Gindlesparger. Emily is the author of Please Make Me Love Me, an intimate memoir of opening her relationship, coming into a queer identity, forming multiple intense, long-term relationships, and ultimately, learning to live by her own terms. She expresses herself so beautifully and, in this conversation, shares from such a heartfelt place her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy to monogamy, and finding herself along the way. Professionally, Emily is a book coach and ghostwriter at Scribe Media, where she helps authors tackle the emotional journey of writing, tap into the wisdom of their experience, and share it with the world. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Emily? 📚 Books mentioned: ● Please Make Me Love Me: A Memoir, by Emily Gindelsparger 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 22 Sep 2022 | Discovering Our Queerness, Ep. 33 | 00:50:04 | |
This week’s episode is a little different! Today I am sharing a conversation with my girlfriend, Salena. We are giving you an inside look at the evolution of our relationship and how we have both discovered and came to terms with our queerness, navigated group sex, and STI convos. Enjoy!
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. 📚 Resources mentioned: ● Evelin Dacker Stars Website- https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com/ 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 06 Oct 2022 | Pregnancy & Non-Monogamy, Ep. 34 | 00:46:17 | |
Today I’m talking to Kelli Moore. Kelli is the co founder and CEO of Soulfire productions, a podcast network for thought leaders, free thinkers and visionaries. Kelli and I chat about jealousy, opening a relationship, what changes happen when you get pregnant and how hormones affect your sex drive and the openness of a relationship and how she and her husband have navigated that. Kelli hosts the podcast, Okay, Babe and is a really passionate person. She desires to help people see themselves more clearly, and really believes that we can set ourselves free from expectations and people pleasing and the stories that hold us hostage in our lives. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Kelli... OK, Babe- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ok-babe/id1497534094 Soulfire Productions- http://soulfireproductionsco.com/ 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-m 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 03 Nov 2022 | The Importance of Human Connection and Sex Work, Ep. 35 | 00:41:06 | |
Today I am talking with my friend Numina Mara. Numina is a fantastic human and we had an amazing conversation that covered her love of the courtesan lifestyle, her experience in the sex industry, and what decriminalizing it could mean. This conversation is juicy and if you aren’t already a patreon, you should do it because her sex tip is even juicier! 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more join our Patreon! Want to connect with Numina? Check out Numina Mara (@MaraNumina) on Twitter 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 17 Nov 2022 | The Power of Wants and Needs in Relationships, Ep. 36 | 00:58:58 | |
Today, I'm talking to Dr. Joli Hamilton, again! We had such a great time on Episode 21 that we decided to do it all over again! We're talking about how to differentiate your needs and wants and desires and how that shows up in long term relationships that are opening up or have been open for a while. We touch on how we deal with jealousy and how to use our reactions to dig deeper into what’s changing in ourselves. Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love and host of the Project Relationship podcast. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Dr. Joli? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 01 Dec 2022 | Somatic Practices in Non-Monogamy with Isha Vela, Ep. 37 | 00:45:37 | |
This week I am talking with relationship anarchist and solo polyamorous person, Isha Vela. Isha and I talk about how they came to understand and embrace non-monogamy as part of their identity, how you can use somatic practices in non-monogamy, and what non-monogamy looks like in different parts of your life. In addition to relationship work, Isha is a sovereignty coach and the creator of Body Based Business, a way of creating a bespoke business in alignment with your values and nervous system.
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Isha? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 15 Dec 2022 | Love Outside of the Romance Novel with Eleanor O’Brien, Ep. 38 | 00:49:58 | |
Today, I am speaking with Eleanor O’Brien is the artistic director of Dance Naked Creative, a sex-positive theater and event company. She is a writer, performer and facilitator. We talk about her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy, how polyamory helped her expand her sexuality, and how writing a show about polyamory helped her overcome some of the challenges during that transition. Eleanor O'Brien starts a journey of non-monogamy and discovers that it's harder than it looks, especially when she begins to fall in love with someone other than her husband. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Eleanor? WEBSITE 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 29 Dec 2022 | Finding Community and Authenticity in Polyamory, Ep. 39 | 00:36:44 | |
Today I am talking with Delphine Lumen. Delphine is someone who has a passion for learning about what makes happy, healthy relationships and has spent the last year or so creating social events like coffee socials, speed dating, and friending events for non monogamous folks. She creates spaces where genuine curiosity is welcome and heteronormativity, cis normativity, and mono-normativity are challenged. We talk about her story from growing up in a non-traditional household to spending seven years intentionally celibate before then starting to date and engage in polyamorous relationships. She talks about how people in polyamorous relationships deal with their jealousy and the challenges that are involved in untangling your genuine feelings from societal programming so that you can be authentically yourself in relationships. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with Delphine? 📚 Books mentioned: Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online About Us 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 12 Jan 2023 | Navigating Polyamory as a Pagan, Pansexual, Parent | 00:57:46 | |
Emily Otto is a healer for healers and an intuitive business coach who helps women listen to their heart's desires and create it through business and wild abundance. She is also a pagan, polyamorous pansexual parent who I adore. She shares her story of non-monogamy, what it's like to find other polyamorous people to connect with, and we talk about how important it is to discuss the wants and needs of each partner, and figure out how to fulfill them in a way that's mutually satisfying! 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Emily? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! 👀 Find Us Online Credits Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 26 Jan 2023 | Finding Your Inner Dom(me), Ep. 41 | 00:36:43 | |
Domina Anne Shirley coaches people on how to be the Dominant in their own lives. Today, she shares her struggles with the idea of non-monogamy and we talk about the different facets of dominance and submission as well as how empowering non-monogamy can be. We discuss the importance of finding safety and trust within oneself, and I share my own exploration of power dynamics. Domina Anne is a Dominatrix Life Coach who supports individuals at owning who they are, so they can create a life, relationships, partnership finances or business they deeply desire from a kink perspective. She supports individuals and couples at exploring kink in safer ways. And she teaches, coaches and mentors individuals at becoming a Dominatrix. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Domina Anne? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online Credits Get in touch with all your pleasure points! Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 09 Feb 2023 | Relationship Vetos: The Process of Relationship Grieving, Ep. 42 | 01:15:26 | |
Today, I’m chatting with Kyra Gilchrist, a relationship anarchist and solo polyamory advocate. Kyra shares with us how she coped with the aftermath of being vetoed from the relationship that she was in when she was last on the show in episode nine. She describes how being vetoed can be traumatic, how she coped with it, and the tools and skills that she learned working through it. Kyra is a childcare and birth worker of color living in Seattle with her two cats and turtle. In her spare time she grounds herself with reading, nature and loved ones. She is passionate about social justice and hard cider. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 23 Feb 2023 | Kitchen Table Poly: Unpacking Metamours and Breakups, Ep. 43 | 00:59:37 | |
Sara and I are talking about her experiences with polyamory and some of mine too! We cover coming out to family and friends as polyamorous, how polyamorous people might handle breakups of their partners, and how to deal with metamour relationships. Dr. Sara Sohn, DPT, PT, WCS is a highly accomplished and experienced pelvic floor physical therapist, sex counselor, and mentor for leaders working in taboo areas. Sara holds a strong belief that pleasure is a fundamental right and dedicates her efforts to mentoring health and wellness providers to become courageous leaders in sexual literacy. With over half a decade of experience as a leading pelvic health provider, Sara has dedicated herself to educating the community, speaking nationally, and preparing others to lead in areas that are often stigmatized or taboo. Additionally, she has a personal lifestyle of polyamory, long-term partnership with two partners, and enjoys solo backpacking and singing. To learn more about Sara and her work, visit the links provided. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Sara? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online Credits 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 09 Mar 2023 | Intimacy and Non-Monogamy: Embracing Embodied Choices, Ep. 44 | 00:46:01 | |
After 28 years of pure monogamy, my guest today dove into a sexuality community to explore something different during what one might call a midlife crisis, only to find herself with a primary relationship that created a load of freedom and challenged her to know the difference between her edges and her boundaries. My guest today is Kim Holden. Kim and I chat about exploring sexuality and relationship dynamics after you've been through a divorce, practicing tools to recognize your own personal yes and your own personal no when you're making decisions, and examining the difference between your edges and your boundaries in relationships. Kim Holden is an intimacy and relationship coach. She guides singles and couples to untangle feelings of unworthiness, shame, and invisibility and connect with their power, confidence, and unique flavor. She holds exquisite space for clients to open up and access their authentic pleasure and truth. As a breast cancer survivor, she is dedicated to helping other survivors renew their joy through connection to body, mind and soul in a new and meaningful way. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Kim? 📚 Books mentioned: I Love you the Purplest, by Brenda Joosse 📰 Subscribe to N 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 23 Mar 2023 | Unlearning Monogamy & Embracing Queer Polyamory, Ep 45 | 01:11:36 | |
Today I am talking to Lelia Gowland, a married Southern woman with a literal white picket fence, who confronted her fears and her need for anonymity to very publicly embrace her queer and polyamorous identities and discover the beauty of deep connection and authentic self expression. You will hear us talk about how the polyamory landscape has evolved over the last decade or two, and how self acceptance of your personal identities, queer, polyamorous, non monogamous, whatever they are, can affect you. Lelia is a writer and a speaker who centers her work on authenticity. She's written for publications like Forbes, Huffington Post, and Harper Bazaar, and she speaks to organizations and individuals about leading with authenticity to create happier, more productive lives. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Leila? 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous Get free shipping on my favorite toys!! 👀 Find Us Online 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 06 Apr 2023 | Reclaiming Your Power Through Self-Love and Pleasure with Kim Coffin, Ep. 46 | 00:35:17 | |
In today’s episode, I talk with Kim Coffin, a trauma informed body based empowerment coach who's paving a new way for women to discover their inner sexual and sensual confidence. Through her own journey of breaking through societal conditioning, and healing deep trauma, Kim has become an expert in female sexuality, tantric sex, and relationship transformation. Kim and I chat about our combined insights on non monogamy and polyamory and the power of pleasure and sacred sexuality practices in empowering women, and how to break free from societal conditioning to discover true sovereignty and personal truth. Join us as we uncover the transformative power of Kim's work and learn how to reclaim your own power and your own voice. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Kim? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous LeloGet in touch with all your pleasure points! Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 20 Apr 2023 | The Journey Through NRE to the Relationships You Desire, Ep. 47 | 00:33:19 | |
I am talking to life and relationship coach, Randi Robbins, about some of the various forms of non monogamous relationships and how to manage the exciting and sometimes overwhelming emotions that come with NRE, new relationship energy. Randi is a therapist turned life and relationship coach for polyamorous people. Randi often heard therapy clients share about judgmental and hurtful things that had been said to them about their relationships, sometimes from therapists! This led Randi to diving into coaching as a way to help polyamorous people around the world, providing support as a person who really gets it. Randi has been polyamorous for over a decade, and has previously been an organizer in kink communities. She has a husband, a non-nesting life partner, a toddler, and two goofy dogs. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Randi?
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online Credits About Us Head to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 04 May 2023 | Health, Happiness, and Safe Relationships in Non- Monogamy with Nurse Dynamite, Ep 48 | 00:56:22 | |
My guest Christina Dynamite and I are chatting about our intimate journeys through non-monogamy and polyamory as we share personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs in navigating their unconventional relationships. We dive deep into relationships, sexuality, and even STIs, offering practical advice and invaluable resources for listeners. Christina B. Dynamite (she/her) is a vibrant Mental Wellness Coach, Educator, Nurse, and Artist who fiercely believes that being authentically yourself and chasing your passions are non-negotiable needs for a meaningful life. Dynamite is a human perpetually seeking growth and recovery from trauma, ADHD, addiction, and societal programming including white privilege. She is a bisexual polyamorous kinky queer who rides motorcycles, scuba dives, occasionally performs music & cabaret, and also serves on the board of the Oregon Holistic Nurses Association. She is deeply grateful for the encouragement, support, and love from her wife, 5 cats, 3 dogs, many mentors, muses, and friends. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! Want to connect with Nurse Dynamite? 📚 Books mentioned:
Head to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 18 May 2023 | Embracing Compersion in Your Relationships with Marie Thouin, Ep 49 | 00:53:43 | |
Today I am speaking with Marie Thouin, a dating and relationship coach with a passion for understanding the intricacies of non monogamous relationships and a PhD researcher on compersion. Her experience with questioning the social norms around monogamy led her to exploring alternative relationship dynamics, and conducting research to help others find harmony in their own relationships. We get into what compersion is and the factors that help you achieve it and even block you from it. You're gonna hear so many good tips around compersion, including how metamours and overcoming jealousy plays into it. Dr. Marie Thouin is the founder of Love InSight, a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coaching practice where she helps people of all backgrounds and relationship styles create vibrant & intentional love lives. She is also a leading scholar and researcher on the topic of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships. She shares her research on her website, www.whatiscompersion.com.
Work with Ellecia to go Beyond Jealousy and find your compersive feelings. www.elleciapaine.com/conqueringjealousy 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you Love Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 01 Jun 2023 | Celebrating 50 Episodes: Exploring Relationship Escalators, Jealousy, and Growth in Non-Monogamy | 00:50:01 | |
Today we are celebrating a major milestone for our podcast, Nope, We're Not Monogamous: our 50th episode! To mark this occasion, I was joined by Danny, my producer, boyfriend and fellow non-monogamous adventurer. As we reminisced about our favorite episodes, we couldn't help but feel grateful for the incredible support we've received from our private Facebook group and Patreon patrons. Our journey through non-monogamy has been a rollercoaster, and we were excited to revisit episodes that covered topics like decolonizing polyamory, relationship anarchy, overcoming the challenge of being vetoed, and experiencing personal growth through jealousy. We also delved into the complex world of emotions, discussing the importance of jealousy, compersion, and creating a sense of safety when opening up or transitioning into non-monogamy. We also explored the concept of the 'relationship escalator' and the societal pressure to follow a traditional trajectory in relationships. By taking things slow and avoiding the pitfalls of this prescribed path, we've found that our connections become stronger and more secure. So join us as we celebrate 50 episodes of candid conversations, learning to live life outside the box and embracing the world of non-monogamy! Love Shop ToysHead to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 15 Jun 2023 | Healing and Reclaiming Power in Non-Monogamous Relationships with Lucy Price | 00:59:14 | |
This week, I am talking with relationship coach, Lucy Price. Join us as we discuss the power of non-monogamous relationships and the importance of understanding our own feelings and desires before following someone else's lead. Lucy shares her experiences, mistakes, and valuable lessons she learned along the way, highlighting the concept of monogamish relationships and how to navigate open relationships while respecting everyone involved. We also touch on the challenges of finding authenticity in relationships, the impact of unresolved wounds from our past, and the importance of healing and reclaiming power after toxic relationships. www.shiftyourstory.net 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 29 Jun 2023 | Delighting in Self-Connection with Lee Harrington | 01:02:46 | |
Are you tired of feeling disconnected from yourself and others? What if there was a way to build a unique web of relationships that truly support your well-being and growth? Well, we're here to tell you that it's possible! In my discussion with internationally known author and educator, Lee Harrington, we uncover the secrets to creating intentional, supportive relationships and fostering self-love. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his many books include “Sacred Kink: The Eighfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macrame,” and “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys.” You can check out Lee’s adventures, as well as his podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos, and more, over at PassionAndSoul.com. Want to connect with Lee? 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 13 Jul 2023 | A Journey of Liberation and Empowerment with Casey Donatello | 00:41:18 | |
In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, Casey Donatello opens up about the challenges and dynamics of striving for equity in non-monogamous relationships. But just when it seems like they've found the perfect balance, a shocking twist threatens to unravel their carefully built connection. Tune in to find out what happens next. Meet Casey Donatello, a passionate advocate for boundary pushing and exploring dynamics within non-monogamous relationships. Throughout her personal journey that spans almost two decades, Casey has published three compelling memoirs, navigating the captivating landscape of alternative relationships with a raw, unfiltered perspective. Bridging the gap between fantasy and reality, her experiences enrich her candid discussions on equity, equality and the complex nuances that shape non-monogamous partnerships.
Want to connect with Casey?
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 27 Jul 2023 | Navigating Polyamory with Emotional Intention with Victor Salmon | 00:40:38 | |
The non-monogamous relationship journey is brimming with complexity and profound self-discovery. This episode opens a window into this world, as we chat with Victor Salmon, who walks us through their journey from their initial exposure to polyamory to their experiences within the BDSM community. Victor offers a fresh perspective on managing jealousy and understanding human connections. We get real about the intricacies of being a hinge partner and what it means to be a 'unicorn' in the Swinger community. Victor shares the importance of setting boundaries versus people-pleasing, and how trauma can impact relationships. We delve into emotional maturity and celebrate the growth that comes with breaking away from monogamous conditioning. Finally, we discuss how to set boundaries, understand our own attachment styles, and be sensitive to our partner's needs. By the end of our chat with Victor, you'll be equipped with a wealth of knowledge on crafting healthier, more satisfying relationships, whether you're venturing into polyamory or simply looking to understand it better. 📚 Books mentioned: 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 10 Aug 2023 | Shedding Labels and Overcoming Societal Expectations with Alex Cox | 01:17:35 | |
Get ready to embark on an enlightening journey with our guest, Alex Cox, as he gives a candid account of his polyamorous lifestyle. Since 2018, Alex has been navigating the intricacies of multiple partnerships, parenting, writing poetry, and battling PTSD while living a polyamorous life. In our heart-to-heart conversation, he highlights the significance of communication, especially while dating someone who isn't neurodivergent, and the vital role of labels in dictating our lives. 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 24 Aug 2023 | Crushing Stereotypes: Exploring the Realities of Non-Monogamous Relationships with Rich and Siobhan | 01:07:34 | |
This week we have an enlightening conversation with Rich and Siobhan, from the Poly Podcast, about their experiences with non-monogamy. They reveal how they embraced polyamory, nuanced their relationship structure and even broached this subject early in their relationship. They'll also be talking about their podcast, Polypodcasts, giving you a chance to be a part of their extended community. https://twitter.com/poly_podcast https://the-poly-podcast.captivate.fm/ 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 07 Sep 2023 | Navigating Polyamory and Parenting | 01:00:41 | |
Listen to this episode if you're a non-monogamous parent or part of a non-traditional family who wants guidance on how to navigate the challenges and celebrate the unique aspects of your family structure. Koe's insights will inspire and empower you to create an environment where your children feel supported, loved, and accepted for who they are. Koe, a second-generation sex educator, shares her journey growing up in a polyamorous family and provides insights from her intriguing book, This Heart Holds Many: My Life as a Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family. Koe's raw and honest storytelling paints a vivid picture of the challenges faced by children in non-monogamous families and how they're navigating societal structures and perceptions. 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 21 Sep 2023 | The Art of Setting Boundaries in Non-Monogamy: A Conversation with Dirty Lola, Ep. 58 | 01:10:38 | |
Get ready for a compelling discussion that charts the high seas of non-monogamy. I'm thrilled to have the inimitable Dirty Lola aboard with us, an accomplished sex educator and media personality you may recognize from Netflix's Principles of Pleasure and HBO's the Sex Diaries. Her insights are not just enlightening, but deeply grounded in her personal journey, lending an air of authenticity and relatability that is invaluable. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 05 Oct 2023 | Long-Distance Love: Non-monogamy Across Continents with CJ | 00:48:15 | |
Are you in a long-distance relationship and curious about exploring non-monogamy? Today's guest, CJ, a sex coach and pleasure advocate, walks us through their personal experience of how non-monogamy played a vital role in navigating the challenges of being apart from their partner across two continents. We take a deep look into the significance of communication, creating a non-judgmental environment, and the importance of touch in maintaining intimacy, despite the miles. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 18 Oct 2023 | Polywise - A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships with Jessica Fern and David Cooley | 01:03:29 | |
Are you in a non-monogamous relationship and looking for ways to enhance your emotional intelligence? Look no further! Join me, Ellecia Paine, as I interview Jessica Fern and David Cooley on the importance of emotional intelligence in non-monogamous dynamics. Dive into their personal experiences, learn how they overcame challenges, and discover practical tools for emotional growth. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 02 Nov 2023 | Radical Honesty and Responsibility in Non-Monogamous Relationships with Leslie Tavernier | 00:54:29 | |
Get ready for some real talk about relationships in this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous with guest Lesley Tavernier. We dive deep into the concept of radical responsibility and how it can transform your non-monogamous relationships. Lesley shares her personal journey and sheds light on the importance of not relying on your partner for happiness. Discover how taking control of your own well-being can create a more harmonious and fulfilling connection. If you're looking for practical advice on personal growth and increasing happiness in non-monogamous relationships, this episode is a must-listen!
As we wrap up our heart-to-heart with Leslie, we address the elephant in the room – the radical responsibility each individual carries in a relationship. Speaking to those with self-esteem tied to their partner's actions, Leslie underscores the power of non-monogamous coaching. We uncover the courage required to admit attractions outside your relationship and the challenges of raising kids in a non-monogamous setting. So buckle up, and get ready for an eye-opening exploration of love and relationships beyond societal norms. LeloGet in touch with all your pleasure points! Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 16 Nov 2023 | Unlocking Desire: Exploring the Transformative Power of Sexual Fantasies with Artemisia De Vine | 00:54:07 | |
Astonishing revelations await as we journey into the realm of desires and sexual fantasies with the luminary, Artemisia De Vine. Imagine peeling back the layers of desire, treading into territories unexplored, and gaining a profound understanding of your own erotic wiring. This is not just about sex or fantasy; it's about self-discovery, connection, and pleasure in its purest form. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 30 Nov 2023 | Sexual Safety in Non-monogamy with Evalene Dacker-MD | 00:57:31 | |
Brace yourself for an enlightening exploration of non-monogamous relationships, sexual health, and the importance of clear communication. This episode features the insightful Evalene Dacker-MD, who guides us through the intricate world of polyamory, debunking misconceptions and arming us with invaluable advice on navigating these partnerships in a safe manner. We delve into her revolutionary STARS framework that fosters open dialogues about sex, helping individuals to express their desires, set boundaries, and communicate their relationship intentions effectively. 📚 Books mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 14 Dec 2023 | Finding Balance in an Unconventional BDSM Triad, Ep. 64 | 00:46:43 | |
Curious about unconventional triad relationships and BDSM dynamics? In this episode, we explore Hannah's journey from swinging to polyamory, the challenges of managing multiple partners, and the significance of setting boundaries and valuing personal time. Discover how Hannah copes with the demands of balancing two partners, work, family, and personal time, and the importance they place on clear hierarchy and boundaries within their unconventional triad setup with a BDSM dynamic. We also discuss the emotional impact, self-discovery, and constant learning within non-monogamous relationships. Delve into a candid conversation that emphasizes the ongoing nature of this journey, the rewarding moments, and the transformative power of non-monogamy on personal growth and self-discovery. Hannah is an Empowerment & Relationship coach, delighting in the fringes of traditional society. Bisexual, Non-monogamous & kinky, she brings the topic of sexuality and taboo out into the light, to help others shift societal shame and live as their true selves. Hannah is a published author and hosts her own podcast "Kinky & Unpopular" which follows her BDSM journey alongside her partner and her submissive, in their triad type dynamic. 💨 TLDR;
Want to connect with Hannah? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 26 Dec 2023 | Thriving in Non-Monogamy: Deana Tanner's Guide to Healthy Humaning, Ep. 65 | 00:53:27 | |
Does this sound familiar? You're in a non-monogamous relationship, seeking to improve communication and openness with your partners, but you find yourself hitting roadblocks. Maybe you've been told that the solution is to just talk more, but deep down, you know that's not enough. The pain of feeling misunderstood, disconnected, and unfulfilled is all too real. It's time to break free from ineffective actions and unlock the power of healthy communication and openness, transforming the way you connect with your partners. Deana Tanner, our guest on this episode, is a dynamic and knowledgeable voice in the world of non-monogamous relationships. With her down-to-earth and relatable style, Deana offers a fresh perspective on the importance of healthy communication and openness. As someone who has personally navigated the complexities of polyamory, Deana brings a wealth of experience and insight to the table. Her warm and friendly approach instantly puts listeners at ease, making her the perfect guide for individuals seeking to improve their relationship dynamics. 💨 TLDR;
📚 The resources mentioned in this episode are:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 11 Jan 2024 | Embracing Your True Self: The Journey Through Non-Monogamy, Jealousy, and Sacred Rage with Sandra Possing | 00:49:42 | |
If you're feeling suffocated by societal expectations and constantly striving to fit in, then you are not alone! You may already be sacrificing your true self in order to please others, only to find that it's still not enough. You may be experiencing a constant sense of dissatisfaction, despite following the rules and norms that society has set for you. It's time to break free from the cycle of conformity and embrace your unique identity, because the result you're seeking is not found in conformity.
Want to Connect with Sandra? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 25 Jan 2024 | Shedding Resentment and Finding Freedom in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Daisy Sky | 00:47:40 | |
Do you desire emotional healing and inner peace in your non-monogamous relationship journey? My guest today will be revealing the key to finding forgiveness and experiencing profound emotional growth. Unlocking the pathway to inner peace and healing is within your reach, and Daisy Sky will show you how to achieve this transformation.
Want to connect with Daisy Sky? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 08 Feb 2024 | Self-Love, Jealousy, and Somatic Healing in Non-monogamous Relationships | 00:46:54 | |
In the depths of Orit Krug's personal journey, she discovered an unexpected truth about love and relationships. As she bravely embraced polyamory, she unearthed the transformative power of self-love in navigating the complexities of multiple partners. But just when she thought she had it all figured out, a new challenge emerged, leaving her questioning everything she thought she knew. Stay tuned as Orit's emotional narrative unfolds, revealing the unexpected twist that shifted her perspective on love and self-acceptance.
Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist who has helped transform the lives of more than 5,000 clients for the past 13 years. Orit specializes in helping individuals & couples strengthen their relationships by working through past trauma stored in the body. As Orit practices polyamory in her own life, she uses her experience and platform to ensure that partners can safely expand beyond normal boundaries, experience deeply satisfying love, and enhance pleasure without sabotage.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 22 Feb 2024 | How I Learned to Embrace Abundance in Non-Monogamous Relationships, Ep. 69 | 00:48:19 | |
Hey friends! We’re going on a journey with Nicoletta Heidegger, therapist, sexologist, and host of the "Sluts and Scholars" podcast, as we chat about the world of non-monogamy on my latest podcast episode. Nicoletta opened up about her 7-year exploration from monogamy to embracing a non-monogamous lifestyle, sharing the raw challenges she encountered along the way. From aligning with partners who share her vision to battling the need to feel "special" and dismantling a scarcity mindset, Nicoletta's story is both vulnerable and profoundly relatable.
Want to get in touch with Nicoletta?
Resources in this episode
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 07 Mar 2024 | Polyamory Pitfalls: Handling Jealousy in Non-Monogamy with Ali Hendry, Ep. 70 | 00:44:28 | |
Jealousy: the green-eyed monster we've all wrestled with at some point, and the surprise guest in many non-monogamous relationships. But what if jealousy isn't the adversary we've been conditioned to believe? This week, relationship coach Ali Henry joins me to unwrap the layers of this complex emotion, promising to take you on a journey from apprehension to enlightenment. We'll share laughs, personal stories, and Ali's expert insights, transforming jealousy from a stumbling block to a stepping stone in our intimate connections. You'll discover: - Why jealousy gets a "bad rap" in monogamy and how non-monogamy takes a more compassionate approach - Tangible tips for mapping where jealousy originates from your past - The key to transmuting jealousy into curiosity - Hilarious and insightful stories of Ali's thruple dynamics Ali's vulnerability and wisdom left me feeling seen, understood, and ready to approach jealousy with more self-love and patience. Ali Hendry is a certified relationship coach specializing in non-monogamous relationships, with a particular focus on LGBTQIA+ women, non-binary individuals, and trans folks. Her extensive experience extends to working with singles, duos, and non-monogamous pods, offering valuable guidance in navigating the complexities of diverse relationship dynamics. As a contributor to Diva magazine, Ali's expertise and insights provide a credible perspective on embracing individual love styles and managing non-monogamous dynamics, making her a highly knowledgeable and esteemed voice in the field. Want to connect with Ali?
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 21 Mar 2024 | From Polyamory to Monogamish: Relationship Coach Gets Real About Polyamory, Ep. 71 | 00:46:09 | |
Welcome to a heart-to-heart with Shelby Avann, where we peel back the layers on relationships, intimacy, and the magic of healing. Shelby isn't just any relationship and intimacy coach. She’s a Reiki healer too, with a knack for weaving spirituality and science into a transformative blend that empowers women to deepen emotional intimacy, shake off codependency, and wave goodbye to loneliness.
Shelby’s insights on building intimacy through being real, vulnerable, and sometimes just plain silly with your partner are gold. She also tackles how letting anxiety run the show can throw a wrench in making those deep connections. No matter where you stand on the relationship spectrum, Shelby's wisdom is like having a heart-to-heart with a friend who’s seen it all. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 04 Apr 2024 | The Marathon Problem: Overcoming Fears to Embrace Non-monogamy with Poly Pocket Podcast Ep. 72 | 01:03:14 | |
Welcome to a candid exploration of the highs and lows of the non-monogamous journey, especially after the significant life transition of divorce. If you've found the path to non-monogamy leaving you with more questions than answers, feeling both overwhelmed and intrigued, this episode is for you. Joining me today are Hunter and Butcher, the insightful duo behind the Poly Pocket Podcast. As a married, UK-based couple navigating polyamory with children, they offer a relatable and supportive voice for those in the polyamorous, consensual non-monogamous (CNM), open relationship, or swinging communities. Their commitment to the development and support of the 'Poly' community shines through their podcast and now, in our conversation. In This Episode, We Cover:
Whether you're new to the concept of non-monogamy or have been on this path for some time, Hunter and Butcher's insights offer valuable guidance and support. Join us as we navigate the intricate, rewarding journey of non-monogamy. Connect with Hunter and Butcher:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 18 Apr 2024 | Beyond Fairy Tales: Real Connection Strategies Unveiled | 00:57:27 | |
Today, we're challenging everything you thought you knew about love with Adam Lyons, a world-renowned dating coach and psychology expert who's turning traditional views on their head.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 02 May 2024 | No Rules Polyamory: Exploring Pleasure, Tantra and Sex Magic | 00:44:51 | |
Can sex magic really help you manifest your desires and enhance pleasure? In this candid conversation with Lona, a neo-tantra teacher and sexual bliss coach, we unravel the mysteries behind this esoteric practice. Lona shares her personal journey into non-monogamy, kink, and somatic therapy as gateways to deeper fulfillment. We explore the challenges of her transition from a decade in a monogamous relationship to forging her own path of "no rules" polyamory. Lona explains how she discovered tantra while studying witchcraft, and became fascinated by its power to merge sexuality and spirituality. She offers insight into missteps within past relationships, and how those experiences ultimately strengthened her connections. Lona also discusses techniques for moving beyond trauma triggers using the wisdom of the body over that of the mind. By tuning in you’ll:
Join us for an eye-opening, taboo-busting conversation that will teach you how to unlock the magical power of pleasure. Hit play now to start manifesting your desires. Want to Connect with Lona? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 16 May 2024 | Unpacking the Relationship Escalator: Lessons from 2 Decades of Ethical Non-Monogamy | 00:43:45 | |
What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was wrong? Our guest today has been openly non-monogamous for over 20 years, challenging assumptions about love and intimacy every step of the way. Get ready to question societal rules and create connections that actually work for you. Over the past two decades, Brandon has navigated the intricacies of open relationships and ethical non-monogamy. He shares his journey - one filled with hard-won lessons on communication, self-awareness, and letting go of expectations. Brandon explains key concepts like relationship anarchy and the "relationship escalator" in plain terms anyone can understand. He's painfully honest about handling jealousy, avoiding common pitfalls, and why you must know yourself before inviting others into an open dynamic.
What part of Brandon's story are you curious about? Have you faced similar challenges in non-monogamy? I'd love to hear your experiences, so feel free to share! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 30 May 2024 | From Strict Religion to Ceremonial Celebrations: Dan's Story | 01:03:59 | |
Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy. For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows of living life on their own terms. Here’s what you can expect from this inspiring episode:
With honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Dan dives into the transformative power of confronting personal traumas, embracing all parts of oneself, and living authentically. Whether you’re experienced in non-monogamy or just curious about different relationship structures, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a powerful reminder that love has no limits. Join me, Ellecia, and Dan on this eye-opening journey, and find the courage to create a life that’s full, passionate, and true to yourself. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 13 Jun 2024 | First Date Fun: Navigating Non-Monogamy with Humor and Insight | 00:59:31 | |
First dates in the non-monogamous world? We've got you covered! Join Ellecia and Danny for a hilarious and informative exploration of navigating this unique dating scene. From conversation starters (forget the weather!) to open communication, this episode equips you with the tools to feel confident and empowered. What to expect:
This episode is your one-stop shop for making non-monogamous dating fun, fulfilling, and full of laughter. Want to become a master of navigating conversations about ethical non-monogamy? Download your free copy of my ebook, Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-monogamous Conversations! This comprehensive guide provides even more in-depth strategies, conversation prompts, and practical tips to ensure your non-monogamous relationships thrive. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 27 Jun 2024 | The Alchemy of Pleasure: Transforming Relationships with Sasha and Moritz | 01:09:08 | |
Let's be real: navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be thrilling, confusing, and sometimes downright messy. But no worries! We've got power couple Sasha and Moritz on deck to spill the tea on building a strong ENM connection. With refreshing candor, they peel back the layers on cultivating extraordinary intimacy. You'll discover practical strategies for courageously expressing desires, setting boundaries, and managing the inevitable ups and downs with grace. Their approach transcends relationship structures, providing a roadmap for deeper vulnerability and growth within yourself and your connections. Here are just a few of the invaluable gems you'll gain:
And don't forget to check out Sasha and Moritz's website, Kerkmann Hood Coaching https://www.kerkmannhoodcoaching.com/ to learn more about their work and explore the world of passionate, non-monogamous relationships. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 11 Jul 2024 | Polyamorous Elders: Planning for Your Future | 00:48:55 | |
Intrigued by polyamory but unsure how it translates to long-term relationships? Especially as we age? Today, we're venturing into the world of thriving polyamory in your golden years. Joining us is the amazing Kathy Labriola, a therapist, nurse, and author who's been living the poly life for 50 years! Kathy is author of four books on consensual nonmonogamy: Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, One of my fav's , The Jealousy Workbook, The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival. Kathy's new book, "Polyamorous Elders," tackles the unique joys and challenges of navigating polyamory as we mature. We'll be diving deep into communication, legal considerations, and even keeping your sex life sizzling! Whether you're a seasoned polyamorist or curious newcomer, this episode offers invaluable insights for building strong, fulfilling connections as you age. Get ready to learn about: The surprising benefits of polyamory for older adults. Essential communication tools to avoid misunderstandings. Strategies for navigating jealousy in poly relationships. Planning for your future, legally and financially. And fostering new forms of intimacy as your life changes. Ready to explore the vibrant world of polyamory at any age? Buckle up and join our conversation with Kathy Labriola! For more from Kathy, visit her website at Let's get started! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 25 Jul 2024 | Navigating Consent and Pleasure in Non-Monogamy with Jamie Love | 00:43:02 | |
This episode gives you a peek into the remarkable journey of Jamie Love, from a conservative religious background to leading a thriving, international sex-positive community, Sex Positive World. You'll hear how Jamie fosters spaces where people can explore intimacy and sexuality openly and shame-free. Key Discussion Points:
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
Meet Our Guest: Jamie Love Jamie Love is the Executive Director of Sex Positive World (https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/), a global organization dedicated to spreading inclusive radical sex positivity and empowering individuals to build their own sex-positive communities. A self-identified ethical slut and non-monogamous person, Jamie teaches workshops ranging from relationship discussions to cuddle parties, massage-a-trois, and self-pleasure circles. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 08 Aug 2024 | Monogamy? In this Economy? With Author Laura Boyle | 00:52:01 | |
Let’s explore the complexities of living in polyamorous relationships with relationship coach Laura Boyle, author of Monogamy? In this Economy?Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory. We discuss the challenges and triumphs of shared living, finances, and parenting in multi-partner households. From cohabitation logistics and financial planning to co-parenting strategies and managing breakups, Laura offers practical advice and candid insights. We also dig into the social stigmas and legal challenges faced by polyamorous families. Discover how real people are navigating the intricacies of polyamory and creating fulfilling lives with multiple partners. Laura Boyle is a relationship coach, educator, and the voice behind the blog at readyforpolyamory.com and the accompanying podcast. She has been an expert voice on the topics of polyamory and parenting for the Boston Globe, the Economist, Parents Magazine, and Cosmopolitan, as well as being polyamorous herself for nearly 20 years. Her coaching practice is largely focused on helping non-monogamous folks through major life transitions, and she's based in New Haven, CT. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 22 Aug 2024 | Fluid Bonding and STI Awareness Navigating Sexual Health in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Susan Bratton | 01:14:02 | |
In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with the incomparable Susan Bratton, a true pioneer in sexual wellness and non-monogamy. With decades of experience under her belt, Susan shares her wealth of knowledge on everything from STI testing to hormone replacement therapy, offering insights that could revolutionize your sex life. Susan's candid approach to discussing her personal journey, including her current throuple arrangement and experiences with over a thousand threesomes, creates a safe space for exploring the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships. Her expertise in sexual techniques, communication skills, and intimate health paints a comprehensive picture of what it takes to cultivate a fulfilling sex life at any age. Key Insights: • The importance of understanding female arousal and desire Susan's Top Tips for Better Sex: 1. Embrace "non-negotiables" in the bedroom 16:30 https://arousalsecret.com/ 21:45 https://orgasmiccrosstraining.com/ 29:30 https://personallifemedia.com/pump-guide/ 33:58 https://www.glownaturalwellness.com/products/glow-below 38:30 http://pleasureprotocol.com/ 47:49 fullpaneltest.com 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 05 Sep 2024 | Shuffling Relationship Dynamics with a Deck of Cards, Ep. 83 | 00:43:48 | |
Imagine a game that sparks deep conversations, fosters understanding, and strengthens your relationships. That's exactly what the brilliant minds behind The Non Monogamy Card Game have created. This innovative tool is designed to help you explore the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships in a fun and approachable way. In this episode, I sit down with Ayala & Kristen, the creators of this game-changing resource. As professional psychotherapists from Northern California, they've poured their expertise into crafting 150 thought-provoking questions that encourage players to explore their values, desires, and needs within non-monogamous relationships. Discover how the Non Monogamy Card Game can help you:
Join us for this eye-opening chat and learn how a simple deck of cards can open up a world of possibilities for your relationships. Whether you're looking to enhance your current non-monogamous partnerships or curious about exploring new relationship structures, this episode offers practical guidance and actionable steps. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 19 Sep 2024 | Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships with Therapist Ann Russo | 00:47:03 | |
Navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in non-monogamous relationships, to explore the intricacies of love beyond traditional boundaries. Ann shares her unique perspective, having grown up in a non-monogamous household, and offers valuable insights into the world of ethical non-monogamy. We discuss the importance of communication, self-awareness, and authenticity in building healthy non-monogamous relationships.
We also touch on the challenges of raising children in non-monogamous households and the importance of fostering open, shame-free conversations about love and relationships. Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, currently navigating open relationships, or simply interested in expanding your understanding of diverse relationship structures, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice for creating authentic, fulfilling connections. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 03 Oct 2024 | Sex Geeks Get Real: Consent Talks Before Getting Busy with Reid Mahalko | 00:50:24 | |
Ever wondered how sex educators navigate their own intimate encounters? In this candid and eye-opening episode, I sit down with renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for an intimate conversation about the intricacies of communication, consent, and safer sex practices.
Reid would also like you to know that, in early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a transformative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability. Follow @ReidAboutSex on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 17 Oct 2024 | Beyond Vanilla The Intersection of Polyamory and Kink with Maeve McBride | 01:02:39 | |
Ever wondered what happens when kink and non-monogamy collide with trauma healing? In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Maeve McBride, a kink and ENM educator, erotic coach, and the Executive Director of Kinkfest 2025, to talk about how these worlds intersect—and it’s not just about the fun stuff (though there’s plenty of that too). Maeve takes us on a journey, from supporting polyamorous families through childbirth to becoming a powerhouse in the kink community. We dig into how kink can actually be a tool for healing trauma and building emotional resilience by providing a structured, consent-driven space for exploration. Here’s what we get into:
And we get into all things Kinkfest, the largest kink convention in the world, and how it creates a judgement-free zone for self-expression and play. Maeve’s ability to mix nurturing mom energy with badass kink educator vibes makes her perspective refreshing and super accessible for those new to the scene. Meet Maeve McBride: Maeve is not your average kink educator. She’s a clinical sexological herbalist and trauma-informed coach who blends her deep knowledge of kink, non-monogamy, and plant medicine into her work. Maeve’s personal healing journey from sexual trauma gives her a compassionate, real-world approach to helping others on their path. Whether you’re just dipping your toes into kink, navigating polyamory, or curious about how herbs can spice up your love life, this episode is packed with practical takeaways and new ways to think about consent, communication, and healing. Join us for a mind opening chat that pushes the boundaries of what healing, relationships, and self-expression can look like. You'll walk away with fresh tools and a whole new perspective on creating safe, consensual spaces in your life. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 31 Oct 2024 | Boundaries, Bedrooms, and Beyond, Navigating Non Monogamous Dating with Shannon Whaley | 00:52:39 | |
Curious about what it really takes to date in the non-monogamous world? In this episode, I’m joined by Shannon Whaley, an anti-hustle business coach and newly-out polyamorous explorer, as we dive into the challenges and breakthroughs of non-monogamous dating. Together, we break down the nuances of setting clear boundaries, asking the tough but essential questions, and finding self-worth after surviving toxic relationships. Shannon opens up about her journey and how embracing both non-monogamy and BDSM practices has transformed her approach to building healthy, authentic connections. Whether you’re navigating jealousy, learning to communicate needs, or just starting to explore ethical non-monogamy, Shannon’s insights offer a fresh and empowering take on healing, intimacy, and self-discovery. Here's what you'll discover in this episode:
About Shannon Whaley: Shannon is an anti-hustle business coach living in Italy with her two bilingual cats. She's been coaching since 2015, helping service providers build sustainable online businesses. Now, she's navigating her own journey in polyamory and non-monogamy, sharing her insights and challenges along the way. www.shannonwhaley.com Whether you're new to non-monogamous dating or looking to refine your approach, this episode offers a refreshingly honest look at the realities of exploring relationships beyond traditional boundaries. Join us for a conversation that might just change the way you think about connection, communication, and personal growth in the world of ethical non-monogamy. "Healing and growth are not only possible, they're powerful. Reclaiming your self-worth after toxic experiences is within reach." Don't forget to rate and review the podcast if you enjoy these conversations. It helps us reach more people and keeps the dialogue open – which is super important in the world of non-monogamous relationships! 00:00:00 Introducing Non-Monogamous Dating and Healing After Toxic Relationships 00:02:27 Shannon's Journey into Non-Monogamy and Self-Discovery 00:06:07 Setting Boundaries and Communicating Effectively 00:23:54Navigating Non-Monogamous Dating and Setting Boundaries 00:28:00 Na 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 14 Nov 2024 | Catapults and Consent: When Kink and Polyamory Overlap with Still | 01:02:17 | |
Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I’m sitting down with Still, a veteran kink community organizer and co-host of Tasty!—South Seattle's monitored monthly kink night at The Lumber Yard Bar. Together, we unpack what it really takes to create safe, trusting, and authentic experiences in these diverse communities.
About Our Guest: With over a decade of experience in kink organizing and event production, Still brings a wealth of knowledge to the table. As the co-host of South Seattle’s Tasty! Kink Night at The Lumber Yard Bar, they’re passionate about creating inclusive, educational, and safe spaces for exploring alternative relationship styles. If you’re curious about BDSM or interested in broadening your understanding of non-monogamy, this episode is packed with valuable insights and expert advice. Visit the Lumberyard bar in White Center every first Thursday of the month to attend the public monitored kink night event co-hosted by Still. Tune in now and subscribe to "Nope! We're Not Monogamous" so you never miss an episode! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 28 Nov 2024 | Beyond Swiping Finding Authentic Connections in Seattle | 00:28:58 | |
Are You Ready to Rethink How You Date? 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 12 Dec 2024 | Graceful Rejection: The Art of Saying No Without Burning Bridges | 00:27:44 | |
How do you turn someone down romantically without creating awkwardness or burning bridges? In this episode, my partner, Danny, and I tackle one of the trickiest aspects of non-monogamous relationships: rejection. Inspired by a question from one of our Patreon supporters, we explore how to say "no" in a way that’s respectful, kind, and true to your own boundaries. Key Topics We Cover:
Practical Tips and Personal Stories We both open up about our own experiences with rejection, sharing valuable advice on how to:
A Conversation Rooted in Self-Worth We also discuss how to deal with the sting of being turned down. From navigating feelings of hopelessness to rebuilding self-worth, this episode provides actionable insights for building resilience and honoring your authentic self in all interactions. "What I want matters more than what others want for me." Bonus Segment for Patreon Supporters: Want an extra does of insight? For our dedicated Patreon friends, we've included an exclusive "Just the Tip" segment with additional insights and a spicy tidbit you won't want to miss. Head over to patreon.com/notmonogamous to to unlock ad-free episodes, Q&A calls, and more perks. Whether you're new to non-monogamy or been on this ride for years, this episode offers tools for navigating rejection with confidence and compassion. Tune in for a conversation that will transform the way you approach saying—and hearing—"no." 🎧 Don’t miss this episode. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 26 Dec 2024 | Polyamory Explored: Jealousy, Communication and Coming Out Strategies With Kathy Labriola | 00:53:48 | |
Are you grappling with jealousy in your non-monogamous relationships? Curious about the differences between solo polyamory and relationship anarchy? In this eye-opening episode, I'm joined by the legendary Kathy Labriola, a counselor, nurse, and author with decades of experience guiding polyamorous and non-monogamous folks. Mastering Jealousy
Solo Polyamory vs. Relationship Anarchy
Building Trust and Communication
Coming Out as Polyamorous
About Kathy Labriola: Kathy Labriola is a counselor, nurse, and author with extensive experience in guiding polyamorous and non-monogamous individuals. Her recently updated book, Love and Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, offers a wealth of wisdom gained from decades in the field. Whether you're dealing with feelings of insecurity, navigating new relationship dynamics, or simply curious about the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships, this episode provides valuable perspectives to enhance your understanding and practice of ethical non-monogamy. Join us for this thought-provoking discussion that challenges conventional notions of love and relationships, encouraging listeners to explore what authenticity and connection truly mean to them in the context of non-monogamy. Don't forget to leave a review if you enjoy this episode – it's the best way to help the podcast grow and reach more people interested in exploring non-monogamous relationships! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 02 Jan 2025 | Why 2025 is the Year to Let Go of Jealousy, Ep. 92 | 00:14:34 | |
Are you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools to help you navigate jealousy in non-monogamous relationships with confidence and grace. What You'll Discover:
Key Insights:
Whether you're new to non-monogamy or an old pro, this episode offers practical strategies to help you create lighter, more loving relationships. Learn how to turn jealousy from your enemy into your ally on the path to personal growth. As a relationship coach with over a decade of experience in non-monogamy, I bring both personal insights and professional expertise to help you navigate the complexities of open relationships. My approach combines practical tools with deep emotional work to foster genuine connection and personal growth. Ready to make 2025 the year you finally break free from jealousy's grip? Tune in now and take the first step towards more fulfilling, confident non-monogamous relationships. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 09 Jan 2025 | How to Turn Jealousy Into a Tool for Growth, Ep. 93 | 00:35:23 | |
Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landscape, especially in non-monogamous relationships. But what if I told you that this intense feeling isn't your enemy, but potentially one of your most powerful allies? In this episode, I'm sharing a perspective that completely changed my approach to jealousy. We're looking deep into why jealousy feels so primal, what it's really trying to tell us, and how we can transform it from a source of pain into a tool for growth and deeper connection.
Learn how to recognize jealousy as a signal from your nervous system, and discover a three-step process to turn that gut-wrenching feeling into a powerful tool for growth. We'll discuss the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open communication in navigating these intense emotions. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 16 Jan 2025 | The Unexpected Paths of Non-Monogamy: A Conversation with Annie Undone, EP. 94 | 00:47:22 | |
Are you ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie Undone, a writer, artist, and relationship anarchist who's been through it all - from monogamy to swinging, polyamory, and now relationship anarchy. Together, we unpack the raw truth about opening up relationships and why it might just lead to the end of your current partnership... but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
A Peek into Annie's Upcoming Work Annie teases her new ebook, "On Polyamory," coming out in February. It's a collection of 11 essays chronicling the emotional peaks and valleys of her journey through polyamory and the end of her marriage. Find her work on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annie_undone 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 23 Jan 2025 | Why DIY Jealousy Solutions Fall Short in Non Monogamy | 00:11:17 | |
Have you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why DIY approaches to managing jealousy often fall short, and why deeper work is crucial for lasting change. I'll explore the hidden complexities of jealousy, moving beyond surface-level solutions to uncover the root causes that keep us stuck. I'll share insights on why willpower alone isn't enough and how attempting to suppress or avoid jealousy can actually intensify its grip on our relationships and self-esteem.
Join me as we challenge the notion that we should handle jealousy alone and explore a path towards more peaceful, confident, and connected relationships. It's time to move beyond DIY solutions and embrace a more effective approach to managing jealousy in non-monogamous contexts. Ready to take the next step? Visit elleciapaine.com/jealousy to learn more about the Beyond Jealousy program, an 8-week group coaching experience designed to help you find freedom from jealousy and create more fulfilling relationships. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 30 Jan 2025 | Reignite Your Dating Life: Overcoming App Burnout and Finding Your People | 00:53:54 | |
Are you tired of swiping endlessly on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Yue, the dynamic duo behind the Dateable podcast and authors of "How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love." These dating experts are here to shake up your approach to modern romance, whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or somewhere in between. We dive deep into why non-monogamous dating often leads to better sex, the importance of DIY-ing your relationships for ultimate happiness, and strategies to overcome dating app burnout. Plus, Julie and Yue share their game-changing insights on:
Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. They’re the authors of How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love and the co-hosts of the hit podcast Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more. They’re also the hosts and executive producers of the dating experiment show Exit Interview. Julie brings her background in human-centered design and research, while Yue shares her experience as a dating coach. Together you can find them at dateablepodcast.com and @dateablepodcast. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 06 Feb 2025 | The Hidden Costs of Ignoring Jealousy in Non-Monogamous Relationships, EP. 97 | 00:19:11 | |
Have you ever tried to brush off jealousy, hoping it would simply fade away? In this eye-opening episode, I uncover the hidden costs of ignoring this powerful emotion in non-monogamous relationships. Uncover the truth about jealousy:
We'll uncover the subtle ways jealousy can take root, even when you think you're "handling it." Learn how to recognize the early signs and address them before they escalate into relationship-threatening issues. Discover strategies for healthier relationships:
Whether you're new to non-monogamy or been at it for years, this episode offers valuable insights to help you navigate the complexities of jealousy with grace and intention. Don't miss out on:
Ready to stop letting jealousy control your relationships? Tune in now and take the first step towards creating more authentic, secure connections in your non-monogamous journey. As a relationship coach specializing in ethical non-monogamy, I bring years of experience and a compassionate approach to help you transform jealousy from a source of conflict into an opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 13 Feb 2025 | The Anxious Person's Toolkit for Successful Non-Monogamous Connections with Lola Phoenix | 00:47:49 | |
Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat about the complexities of open relationships and how to build a toolkit for managing the intense emotions that often arise. Key Insights:
We explore the concept of an "anchor" - a personal reason for choosing non-monogamy that goes beyond just keeping your current relationship intact. Lola explains why this is crucial for weathering the inevitable emotional storms that come with opening up a relationship. A Peek Into the Episode: "I think that anxiety is actually a pretty normal reaction for most people to their relationship opening. And I don't think that you necessarily have to be an anxious person to be super anxious when that's happening." ~Lola Phoenix Lola challenges the notion that you can simply "research your way out of feelings" and offers practical advice for creating a self-care plan. We discuss the importance of writing down your strategies for managing difficult emotions, as your brain might not be in a learning state when you're feeling activated. We also touch on the sometimes heartbreaking situations Lola encounters in their advice column, where non-monogamy isn't the real issue, but rather a symptom of deeper relationship problems. Whether you're new to non-monogamy or a seasoned explorer, this conversation offers valuable perspectives on building healthier, more authentic relationships. Join us as we unpack the emotional complexities of open relationships and discover tools for creating more fulfilling connections. Check out Lola's books and resources at nonmonogamyhelp.com, and stay tuned for their upcoming course on practical non-monogamy skills. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 20 Feb 2025 | The #1 Secret to Thriving in Open Relationships, Ep. 99 | 00:14:00 | |
Feeling lost in non-monogamy? Struggling with unclear boundaries? Without clarity, your relationships can feel uncertain and chaotic. In this episode, I break down why clarity is EVERYTHING when it comes to thriving in open relationships. 📌 In This Episode, You’ll Learn: ✅ How to define your North Star for relationship clarity ✅ The importance of non-negotiables & why they shape your boundaries ✅ How to break free from harmful relationship patterns ✅ Why shared goals are essential for relationship success ✅ How to set clear, actionable boundaries that actually work Want deeper support? Join my 8-week group coaching program, Beyond Jealousy! Get expert guidance on overcoming jealousy, setting boundaries, and building confidence in your non-monogamous relationships. 🔗 Sign up now → www.elleciapaine.com/jealousy (Spots are limited!) 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 27 Feb 2025 | Building Polyamorous Community and Connections with Aly Moon | 00:50:49 | |
🎉100 episodes! Can you believe it? Three years ago, I was terrified to be on video, worried about getting it all "right." Now, this podcast has become a thriving space for deep, unfiltered conversations about non-monogamy—and it’s all thanks to you! 💜 To celebrate this milestone, I’m joined by Aly Moon, a polyamory community leader with 15+ years of non-monogamous experience and 7 years of hosting events in the Pacific Northwest. Aly is all about creating intentional, inclusive spaces where polyamorous folks can connect, learn, and grow together. In this episode, we dive into: ✅ How Aly discovered her identity as an asexual relationship anarchist ✅ Finding & building polyamorous community (even if you’re new to it!) ✅ Kitchen table vs. parallel polyamory—what’s the real difference? ✅ Navigating cohabitation & co-parenting in a polycule ✅ The hidden financial perks of non-monogamous living ✅ Why serial dating is so common in polyamory—and what it means 💬 Aly’s Hot Take: "Monogamy in this economy? Are you kidding?" Aly shares how shared housing and polyamorous support networks offer real financial & emotional stability. 🌈 Live in the Pacific Northwest? Check out Poly Prom & other upcoming events at polypulse.events and meet your local polyam crew! Listen now to get inspired & start building your own polyamorous support system! ✨ Special Episode 100 Celebration! 💜 I couldn’t have done this without you! Whether you’ve been here since day one or just joined, I’m so grateful for this community. Want more behind-the-scenes convos & bonus content? Join me on Patreon → www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 💬 Comment below: What’s your biggest challenge in building polyamorous community? 📢 Let’s Connect! 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 06 Mar 2025 | The Hidden Price Tag of Figuring Out Non Monogamy Alone | 00:21:18 | |
Are you trying to navigate ethical non-monogamy through trial and error? In this episode I reveal why the DIY approach to non-monogamy often leads to unexpected emotional and relationship costs. Episode Highlights: • Understanding the hidden costs of unsupported non-monogamy • Real stories from couples navigating ethical non-monogamy • Practical solutions for common non-monogamous relationship challenges • Expert strategies for building successful non-monogamous relationships The Real Price of DIY Non-Monogamy I break down five often-overlooked costs that can derail your non-monogamous journey:
Each of these can silently erode the foundation of your relationships, often before you even realize what's happening. From Struggle to Success: Practical Solutions But don't worry – I'm not just here to paint a gloomy picture. I offer three powerful steps you can take right now to protect your relationships and set yourself up for success in non-monogamy:
Plus, I share a bonus tip on establishing success metrics that most people overlook. "Working with Ellecia gave me more clarity in eight weeks than I found in two years of trying to figure it out alone." If you're tired of stumbling through the dark and ready to illuminate your path in non-monogamy, this episode is your beacon. Learn how to avoid costly mistakes, build a strong foundation, and create the fulfilling, authentic connections you've been seeking. Ready to stop paying the hidden costs of DIY non-monogamy? Visit elleciapaine.com/call to book your clarity chat and discover how we can work together to transform your non-monogamous journey. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 13 Mar 2025 | From Should to Could - Designing Your Non-monogamous Relationships, Ep. 102 | 00:41:52 | |
Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's version of a "good" relationship? That moment when you realize you've been checking boxes you never actually chose for yourself? I've been there, and it's time we talk about moving from relationship "shoulds" to relationship "coulds." In this episode, I'm sharing my journey from living a picture-perfect life on the outside while hiding a painful reality behind closed doors. Together, we'll explore how to break free from inherited relationship scripts and create connections that truly honor who you are. What You'll Discover:
Key Insights: Uncovering Inherited Beliefs: I share how I felt threatened when my husband's girlfriend made him lunch - not because I wanted to make lunch, but because I'd absorbed the belief that "good partners feed their partners." We'll explore where these beliefs come from and how to choose which ones actually serve you. The Desire Inventory: Learn how to conduct a judgment-free exploration of what you truly want in relationships, without apology or explanation. Designing Your Authentic Relationship: Explore dimensions like power dynamics, attention needs, and personal boundaries to craft connections that energize rather than drain you. Making It Real: Discover practical tools including "connection conversations" that focus on the quality of relationships rather than labels or hierarchy. Remember: Your perfect relationship doesn't look like anyone else's - and that's exactly how it should be. Resources Mentioned:
Join me as we challenge conventional notions of what relationships "should" be and explore the endless possibilities of what they "could" be. It's time to create connections that feel like coming home to yourself, not leaving yourself at the door. Ready to dive deeper? Download my free guide, "Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-Monogamous Conversations" at elleciapaine.com/conversations and start buil 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 20 Mar 2025 | Thriving in Non Monogamous Social Situations Without Drama, Ep. 103 | 00:52:36 | |
The dinner party where your partner's other partner shows up. The wedding where you're trying to explain your relationship structure to curious relatives. The community gathering where you're juggling attention between multiple partners. Social events in non-monogamous relationships present unique challenges that most relationship advice completely ignores. In this raw and practical episode, I sit down with Danny to unpack exactly how to navigate these complex situations with confidence. Drawing from our combined experiences, we share the strategies that actually work when theory meets reality. What You'll Learn:
Real Stories, Real Solutions We don't just share theory - we open up about our own awkward moments, painful lessons, and eventual breakthroughs. From Danny's first swinger party anxiety to my own experience navigating family gatherings with multiple partners, we offer the kind of honest insights that only come from lived experience. "The goal isn't to never feel uncomfortable," I explain. "It's to have tools to handle the discomfort when it inevitably shows up." Communication is Key: We discuss why talking about your fears and expectations before an event can make all the difference. It's not just about setting rules in your non- monogamous relationships – it's about understanding each other's needs and concerns. Navigating Different Dynamics: From swinger parties to polyamory gatherings, we explore how to handle various social situations with multiple partners. Learn how to balance attention and manage different relationship structures in public settings. Building Confidence: Discover how each social event is an opportunity to grow more secure in your open relationships and yourself. We share personal stories of overcoming anxiety and building resilience. Want the Non-Monogamy Card Game? Get your discount with coupon code NOPE10 https://www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com/products/the-game Remember, feeling nervous about these situations is completely normal. The key is learning how to work through those feelings and create positive experiences for yourself and your partners. Join us for an honest, sometimes humorous 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 27 Mar 2025 | 5 Simple Tools for Profound Intimacy in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 104 | 00:35:50 | |
Struggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn’t have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate date nights. In fact, it can start with just five minutes a day. In this episode, I’m sharing five powerful yet simple practices from my Beyond Monogamy 4CNM Method that can help you build stronger, more intimate connections — no matter how complex your relationship landscape may be. ✨ Mindful Presence — Give your undivided attention for deeper connection. Tune in now and discover how just 15 minutes a week can lead to 13 extra hours of intentional connection every year. Want deeper insights? Visit www.elleciapaine.com to explore my Beyond Monogamy program. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 03 Apr 2025 | Unmasking Ashley Madison: Why People Cheat & What It Reveals About Modern Relationships, Ep. 105 | 00:52:07 | |
When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time. This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relationships. 🔍 This episode is NOT about promoting cheating — it’s about understanding why it happens. 🔑 What We Cover in This Episode: 💔 Why People Cheat: 🧠 Emotional vs. Physical Needs: 📖 The Infidelity Education Gap: ❤️ Compassionate Affairs & the Grey Area of Cheating: 😶🌫️ Shame, Secrecy & Communication Breakdown: 🎧 Listen If You’re Curious About:
👂 Whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or just asking bigger questions about love and desire — this episode is for you. 👍 Like, comment, and subscribe for more raw, real conversations about modern relationships, non-monogamy, and emotional truth. 🧡 Ready to explore your own desires with less shame and more clarity? Work with me at www.elleciapaine.com. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 10 Apr 2025 | Open Monogamy, Jealousy & Mismatched Desires | Dr. Tammy Nelson on Rethinking Relationship Agreements | 00:50:53 | |
If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you. In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy. With 35+ years of experience working with couples in both monogamous and open relationships, Tammy brings a nuanced lens to everything from sexual boredom and emotional disconnection to jealousy, relationship fatigue, and the evolving nature of commitment. We explore:
🛠️ Relationship Tools You’ll Walk Away With:
Tammy’s insights offer a refreshing, non-shaming perspective for anyone doing the work of building relationships that actually fit. Whether you're deep in your ENM journey or just refining your agreements, there’s something in here for you. Curious to learn more? Check out Dr. Tammy Nelson's book, "Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement," and visit her website at https://www.drtammynelson.com/ for additional resources and insights. Mention this episode to get her free download: 100 Questions for Your Monogamy Agreement 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 17 Apr 2025 | Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), Ep. 107 | 00:14:51 | |
Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship? Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. In this episode, we explore why comparison shows up in polyamory and non-monogamy, how it impacts your nervous system, and what you can do to stop the spiral and build emotional safety. You’ll learn:
💛 Ready to reclaim your peace and confidence in non-monogamy? Join the Beyond Compare confidence program waitlist here → https://elleciapaine.podia.com/beyondcompare 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 24 Apr 2025 | Jealousy to Compersion: Communicating Through Emotions in Open Relationships with Ally Iseman | 00:42:38 | |
Ever wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questions and more! I'm joined by Ally Iseman, a certified relationship coach and founder of Passport to Pleasure. Ally brings her unique blend of humor, compassion, and practical tools to help couples navigate the complexities of non-monogamy. In this episode, we explore:
Key Takeaways:
Whether you're actively practicing non-monogamy, considering it, or simply curious about different relationship styles, this conversation offers valuable insights for everyone. Ally's approach emphasizes personal growth, effective communication, and creating relationships that truly work for you – no matter what form they take. Ready to explore if your relationship is prepared for non-monogamy? Take Ally's free Relationship Ratio quiz at www.passport2pleasure.com/ratio to get started on your journey. And check out Ally's Substack https://allyiseman.substack.com/ 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 19 Jun 2021 | The Trailer | 00:02:55 | |
Hi, I'm Ellecia Paine, and as a sex loving relationship coach who specializes in enthusiastic non-monogamy and polyamory, I get a lot of people coming to me for advice. And I get just as many people coming to me asking about my personal experiences. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 01 Jul 2021 | Enthusiastic Non-Monogamy - Our Story S1. Ep.1 | 00:32:49 | |
People always want to know about my non-monogamous relationship, what worked for me, what I've done in my life, or what other people who are non-monogamous have done. Today, my husband Rob and I are going to share a bit about our open relationship and our polyamory experiences. We answer the questions that people have asked us over the course of our relationship about our polyamorous marriage, about our partners, about what happens in our bedroom, and about how our family deals with it all. Key topics & time stamps:
To Do! ● Stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia by getting on the list here ● Find Us Online - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ ● Share this episode with your friends: https://www.elleciapaine.com/notmonogamous
Credits - Host: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Executive Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Producer: Danny Walters. - Editor: Danny Walters About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 01 Jul 2021 | Dating for Polyamorous Nerds S1. Ep.2 | 00:55:15 | |
In this episode I talk with Kari Lu Cowell, not only about non-monogamy, but soulmates, monogamous conditioning, whether or not you should start your non-monogamous relationship in the beginning of your relationship or if you should build a monogamous foundation first, and so much more! Kari Lu Cowell is a Dating Coach for Nerds. She helps people feel authentically comfortable and confident with dating so they can find the relationships of their dreams. She works with all relationship desires, specializing in people who seek non-traditional relationships like kink, BDSM, ethical non-monogamy, Sugar Daddy/sugar baby, etc. Having dabbled in all of those things for the past two decades, Kari leads with an open heart and an open mind. With her background in therapy and trauma informed wellness, along with her core value of play, Kari brings a unique mix of mindfulness, psychology, and fun to all of her teachings. Outside of her coaching, Kari loves reading, axe throwing, pole dancing, Doctor Who, connecting with others, and her dog Beau. www.facebook.com/groups/datingfordorks www.instagram.com/karilucoaching https://bookme.name/DatingforDorks Bullet points of key topics & time stamps:
List of resources mentioned in episode: ● Polysecure by Jessica Fern https://amzn.to/3ymbhjA ● Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller TO-DO ● Stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia by getting on the list here ● Find Us Online 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 01 Jul 2021 | Polyamory and Divorce S.1 Ep.3 | 00:46:45 | |
In this episode, I talk with Mags Baker, a polyamorous, non-binary, sexy divorcée living their best life in San Francisco. They work one-on-one with people to help them find freedom, gain clarity and manifest their juiciest desires. Currently, mags works with folks healing from divorce through healing journeys, intensives, and retreats. They are often found leading sex-positive dance parties on zoom, teaching masterclasses, and hosting live guided meditations. Together, we discuss divorce, transitioning relationships, boundaries, and some of the juicy tools to make our lives better! Join their facebook group HOT divorcé shit for all sorts of exclusive content and a community to let you live your best divorced/solo life here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceland Binge watch mags’ brilliant content and stay tuned to their stories for hilarious real-life updates: https://www.instagram.com/magsbakertheyshe/ Join mags’ email list to be the first to sign up for all mags’ future offerings: https://www.happymillennialmags.com/email-list Bullet points of key topics & time stamps:
List of resources mentioned in episode: Calls to action: ● Stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia by getting on the list here ● Find Us Online 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 15 Jul 2021 | Blending Polyamorous Families S1. Ep4. | 01:06:25 | |
Today I’m talking to my dear friend, Wilder, about her experiences of non-monogamy and combining families with an already married couple. We talk about triads and the assumptions people make about them, monogamous deconditioning we have to work through when moving into polyamory, and raising kids and polyamorous families, and just a lot of really in depth, juicy stuff. Wilder is in a closed triad with a married couple, and they live together in Olalla raising a ruckus with chicken, ducks, children and having wonderful adventures. Bullet points of key topics & time stamps:
Calls to action:
- Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Credits - Host: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Executive Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Producer: Danny Walters. - Editor: Danny Walters About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 29 Jul 2021 | Body Image and ENM Relationships Ep.5 | 00:47:18 | |
Today we're talking to Katy Alaniz, a poly friendly therapist whose focus is really on helping clients rediscover confidence, sexuality, healing from trauma, and a lot of focus on body image, eating disorder recovery, and also how all of that intersects with relationships. Katy is a cis pansexual demisexual polyamorous woman who is super passionate about treating eating disorders and body image issues. She has a badass 10 year old, a couple of cats, she loves fresh hydrangeas, and good coffee. We have the best conversation with her about her life experiences as a solo polyamorous woman, the lessons that she has learned, and the tools she shares with her clients. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. 📚 Books mentioned: See more Katy!
👀 Find Us Online - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Credits - Host: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Executive Producer: Ellecia Paine. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 12 Aug 2021 | Beyond the White Picket Fence - Breaking Out of the Life Everyone Expects You to Live | 00:54:23 | |
Krista Kathleen, the author of Beyond The White Picket Fence - Breaking Out of the Life Everyone Expects You to Live, and I chat about her journey into non-monogamy and how it changed over time. We dig into what it means to live authentically regardless of pressures from our family and society to show up as expected. Krista has been coaching women online since 2016 after she got fired from her full time nursing career and divorced all in the same week. She sold her belongings and left the United States to travel all over the world, working and living in 50 different countries. She had her first baby, Lincoln, at home during the pandemic and just published her first book: Beyond the White Picket Fence. Krista plans to open her own life coach certification in fall 2021 and has a goal to train & mentor at least 1,000 life coaches in the next 10 years. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform. Get in touch with Krista: 📚 Books mentioned: 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 26 Aug 2021 | Veganism & Polyamory Ep. 7 | 00:40:52 | |
My friend, April Filiczkowski, the Green Goddess Pleasure Queen, and I discuss our previous monogamous marriages and the switch to polyamory after divorce, raising kids in polyamorous households, the myth of happily ever after, and veganism and how it can affect relationships and sex! April helps people live a more pleasurable turned on life by helping them love and honor themselves through food, gardening and sexual liberation. She is passionate about Mother Earth, healthy eating and a healthy balanced sex life. She helps people live a greener, healthier, more abundant life. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. Want to connect with the Green Goddess Pleasure Queen… 📚 Books and Resources mentioned:
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Credits - Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||
| 09 Sep 2021 | Digging into Insecurities Ep. 8 | 00:38:58 | |
In today’s episode, I'm talking to Danny, the producer and editor of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, and also one of my partners. He shares the story of how a couple of high school sweethearts from a small town in the Midwest wound up in a committed married polyamorous quad, living in the Pacific Northwest. We talk about how that came about, the challenges that they faced, how they've overcome them and we dig deeper into the role insecurity plays in relationships. 💨 TLDR;
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 👀 Find Us Online - Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Credits - Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine. https://www.elleciapaine.com/ - Editor/Producer: Danny Walters. About Us Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter | |||