No Visible Bruises (Caroline Strawson)
Explore every episode of No Visible Bruises
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
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| 06 Jun 2023 | Narcissistic Abuse & Breath Work - A Practical Guide To Calming Your Emotions | 00:27:35 | |
Breathing is one of the only conscious and unconscious systems of our body, and being intentional with our breath can have a huge impact on our well-being. In this episode, I’ll share with you the breathwork and breathing techniques I use to not only help me heal from narcissistic abuse but to heal my childhood wounds. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll show you the difference between breathwork and breathing techniques, and a regime for you to follow that will markedly improve your ability to handle your emotions. These are all techniques that I do myself and they are truly life-changing. Not only do they help us reconnect with ourselves after narcissistic abuse, but they also help us tone our vagus nerve to help us heal from our childhood wounds. Podcast Resources:
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| 09 May 2023 | Surfing The Urge To Respond To The Narcissist | 00:22:05 | |
We have the power to either let our urges define us or to harness them to become stronger and wiser. Learning how to manage our impulses is crucial in all areas of life, especially when it comes to dealing with a narcissist. In this episode, I will share with you a positive psychology intervention that has helped me become less impulsive and that can help you too. What you will learn in this episode:
I'll show you how recognizing the value of resisting your urges and challenging your mindset can lead to rapid improvements in your life. This intervention will not only help you deal with a narcissist but can also benefit you in other areas such as avoiding unhealthy habits like overeating, procrastination, and impulsive shopping. Save this episode for future use and use the meditation to help you navigate your future urges with ease. Resources:
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| 02 Aug 2022 | Ask Me Anything: August ‘22 | 00:48:59 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why people struggle to leave abusive relationships to why your sex drive is low after dating a narcissist. I’ll also do a deep dive on how we become addicted to the chemicals inside our brain and why we may stay in an abusive relationship to seek out those feel-good chemicals. Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| 19 Jan 2021 | The Narcissist and the Judgement Part | 00:23:29 | |
This week I want to talk to you about judgement from the Internal Family Systems and parts therapy perspective. We’ll go over what judgement really is and what questions you can ask yourself to get to the root of judgement both towards yourself and towards other people, including the narcissist. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
It is definitely not pleasant to be on the receiving end of somebody else’s judgment, but I’m also inviting you to check in with yourself. How much are you judging other people? Because that's just a protector part showing up to protect you from your wounded younger parts. Resources:
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| 26 Apr 2022 | 5 Ways To Recognise You're Living With A Narcissist | 00:19:43 | |
Do you have an inkling that you may be living with a narcissist? It could be your partner, a housemate or even a member of your family. Your suspicion may be correct, so in this episode, I’m going to share 5 ways to recognise if you’re living with a narcissist. What you will learn in this episode:
It’s so important to know that you’re living with a narcissist, because once you know who it is you’re living with, you’ll have a better chance of being able to deal with them. I’ll discuss common narcissistic behaviours, from how they interact with different people to the emotions they show. Reach out to me through support@carolinestrawson.com or message me on Facebook & Instagram so that we can bring you into our community to help you deal with what you are going through. Resources:
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| 17 Dec 2024 | Narcissistic Abuse Healing Meditation for Christmas & The Holidays | 00:13:56 | |
Have you been dreading the holiday season due to the presence of narcissistic individuals in your life? I have a transformative solution which is guided meditation. By focusing on grounding exercises and intentional breathwork, you can effectively down-regulate your nervous system and cultivate a sense of safety, even amidst the stress. Affirmations like "I am allowed to feel joy" and "I deserve peace" empower you to embrace your emotions and reclaim your right to happiness. Rooted in scientific principles, this meditation equips you with practical tools to manage triggers and approach interactions with narcissists from a place of calm logic, rather than survival responses. With this powerful practice in your toolkit, you can navigate the holidays with greater ease and self-compassion, taking crucial steps towards healing. 0:00 Navigating Holiday Stress with Meditation 3:26 Introduction to the Meditation 5:00 Breathwork and Grounding Techniques 7:09 Embracing Emotions and Building Inner Strength 9:43 Science Behind Meditation and Narcissistic Abuse 12:23 Support and Community Podcast Resources:
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| 15 Aug 2020 | Surviving Narcissistic Abuse | 00:15:32 | |
The question is - can you ever survive narcissistic abuse? Right now you might be feeling like you are in a long dark tunnel, feeling angry, guilty, shameful and having no energy to get out of it. But I’m passionate about helping you and educating you on how to start overcoming this trauma. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
So the short answer to whether you can survive narcissistic abuse is yes, absolutely. And I don't just want you to survive, I want you to thrive and help you find meaning in what you have been through. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse | |||
| 09 Apr 2024 | Cheating Is Actually Betrayal Trauma | 00:14:29 | |
Have you been cheated on? My ex-husband was a perpetual cheater, and yet I blamed myself for not being good enough for him. It took years of self-reflection and understanding to see that it wasn’t my fault, and so I want to pass on to you how to break the vicious cycle of cheating and betrayal.
In this episode, you will learn:
Cheating causes a form of betrayal trauma which can have serious effects on your body and mind. Together we can understand why people cheat, why it isn’t acceptable, and how to value yourself and make the right decision when faced with betrayal.
Podcast Resources:
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| 28 Feb 2023 | Covert Narcissism 101 | 00:17:34 | |
In today's episode, I want to bring your attention to a particularly perilous type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. Typically, we associate narcissism with individuals who are extremely extroverted and crave attention, often commanding the room's focus. However, it's crucial to note that not all extroverted people are narcissistic - this is far from the truth. The issue with covert narcissists is that they operate under the radar, making them much more difficult to detect until it's too late and you've become entangled with them. Once the relationship is established, the narcissistic abuse begins. In this episode, I'll be examining the ways in which you can spot a covert narcissist, their tactics for achieving their goals, and how to steer clear of them. What you will learn in this episode:
Knowing the various ways in which a covert narcissist behaves can help you identify them before it's too late. One of the tell-tale signs is their tendency to play the victim, refusing to take responsibility and instead blaming external factors for their situation. This behaviour is a major red flag in the early stages of a relationship with a covert narcissist. Another tactic they employ is making you feel guilty, often through expert manipulation techniques like gaslighting. They may convince you that you're solely responsible for the relationship's problems, leading you to believe that you're the one at fault. To illustrate these behaviours in real-world scenarios, I'll be sharing my own experiences with my covert narcissistic ex-husband and the warning signs I missed, as well as offering advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes. Resources:
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| 03 Aug 2021 | Will My Life Ever Be The Same After the Narcissist? | 00:13:43 | |
Today's episode is about positive psychology and how I use it in the work I do. First, we will define what positive psychology is and talk about its origin and purpose. Then we will go through the PERMAH model, and finally, we will discuss post-traumatic growth and why we must remain curious about it. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What positive psychology is, and where it comes from - What is the PERMAH model, and how it can help us increase happiness and decrease anxiety - Why it seems impossible to think about growth at some stages of narcissistic abuse - What it means to do the somatic work, and how it can help us Focusing on the six pillars of the PERMAH model when we are coming out to heal our narcissistic trauma is the best way of levelling up our well-being. If we focus too often on the things we don't want from our past, we might get stuck in the past, and then growing will become more challenging. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 13 Jun 2023 | Turning 50 & The After Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse | 00:23:36 | |
On Thursday, I'll be celebrating my 50th birthday!! I want to use this milestone and episode to reflect on how narcissistic abuse impacted me, how my childhood wounds still affect me, and the steps I'm taking to live a fulfilling life with a positive and forward-looking mindset. What you will learn in this episode:
When a birthday comes around, it’s a time when we often reflect on our lives, but it’s important to note that you cannot get your time back. What you can do is make today the time to create changes so you can live your life in the best possible way. I hope this episode shows you how to reset your mindset and use today as your day one. Come and join my FREE Masterclass: Healing Codependency, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Nervous System Regulation - The 3 Step Formula to heal and thrive after narcisisistic abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/three-step-formula-masterclass Podcast Resources:
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| 02 Mar 2021 | Breaking Up With a Narcissist | 00:18:17 | |
Today, I want to talk about what happens after we break up with a narcissist, what we should expect from them, and how to prevent being affected by what they can do or say to us and our closest friends. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Breaking up a relationship with a narcissist might lead us to a lonely place if they turn our friends and relatives against us. We must create a robust ecosystem around us, and surround ourselves by the people who believe in us. We need to keep in mind that we are enough, and that we are worthy and lovable regardless of what the narcissist could have said to us or to anyone else about us. Resources:
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| 13 Apr 2021 | The Shame Of Staying With A Narcissist - Just Leave Then!!! | 00:14:01 | |
In this episode, we will talk about the shame and judgment that those who stay in a narcissist relationship suffer from others and from themselves. We will dive deep into the reasons behind the decision to stay in an abusive relationship, and how to be more compassionate towards those who make such decisions. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How our protective parts don't know what happiness is - What happens when we hear the phrase ‘Just leave then’ - Safety concerns in case of leaving a narcissistic relationships - How we can help people who decide to stay in abusive relationships - The importance of bringing awareness into your internal protective mechanisms Someone that comes from a place of not feeling worthy is more likely to end up as a codependent in an abusive relationship. In most cases, the fear of leaving that relationship will be greater than their suffering, so they'll choose to stay. Without help, those people can enter the endless cycle of not feeling good enough to leave and, simultaneously, not worthy enough to generate love in their partners. Resources: - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ | |||
| 16 Jul 2024 | Replay: Celebrities & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:16:17 | |
Pre-order my NEW book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Celebrities, just like regular people, sometimes face abusive relationships with narcissists. In this episode, I'll explore how these high-profile individuals cope with such challenges and heal from their emotional wounds. Drawing from my experience working with celebrities, I'll share valuable insights into their coping mechanisms and the lessons we can all learn from their experiences.
In this episode, we will explore:
I'll explore the reasons behind celebrities' struggles with alcohol or drug abuse, as well as the common tendency among all of us, including celebrities, to seek ways to mask our pain instead of addressing it directly. It's crucial to remember that we can't fully understand someone else's experiences, so we should avoid passing judgment on their relationships. However, we can draw valuable lessons from high-profile abusive relationships to aid in our own healing journeys. Let's focus on using these insights to facilitate personal growth and healing.
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| 11 Apr 2023 | What If I Am The Narcissist, Not Them?! | 00:14:21 | |
Many of us have asked ourselves, 'Am I the narcissist?' If you're questioning your own behavior, it's unlikely that you are a narcissist. However, understanding why you may feel this way and why a true narcissist would never ask this question can shed light on the situation, and that’s what I’m going to discuss in this episode. What you will learn in this episode:
Gaslighting can make us believe that we're the narcissist in a relationship, especially when we're in a state of freeze due to narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll share strategies and mindsets to avoid falling into this trap and offer guidance for handling gaslighting. To better understand the behavior of narcissists, it's also helpful to explore how they develop in childhood, particularly if they were raised as golden children, and I hope this insight into their upbringing will help you understand that you’re not the narcissist. Resources:
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| 03 Sep 2024 | Silent Treatment From The Narcissist | 00:11:11 | |
Join the waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
I've dedicated my life to understanding and overcoming the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I take you on a deeply personal journey, sharing how my own harrowing experience with a narcissistic ex-husband opened my eyes to the insidious nature of this form of domestic abuse.
When I was trapped in that toxic relationship, I thought my ex was simply a "cheat" - but as I delved deeper, I realised the betrayal ran far deeper. The silent treatment he used as a tool of manipulation and control was just one of the many ways he systematically eroded my self-worth and sense of self. By understanding the complexities of behaviours like silent treatment and cheating, we can begin to break free from the cycle of abuse and reclaim our power.
Key topics covered in this episode:
Resources:
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| 30 Aug 2022 | What a Narcissist Looks for in a Partner | 00:17:12 | |
Have you left a narcissist and want to get back into dating, but are now scared you may fall into a relationship with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. Dating can be hard for anyone, but it’s particularly difficult, and even traumatic, for those of us who have been in a narcissistic relationship. In this episode, I’ll help you rediscover your confidence to start dating again by showing you what a narcissist looks for in a partner, so you can avoid those “attractive to a narcissist” behaviours. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll also discuss how there are many types of narcissists, from covert to overt, grandiose to vulnerable, as it’s important to recognise what type of narcissists are out there to improve your chances of avoiding them. I hope that with the information in this episode, you can move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth and find yourself in a happy and functional relationship going forward. Resources:
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| 18 May 2021 | Rock Bottom to Post Traumatic Growth - A Story to Inspire Hope with Danette May | 00:37:26 | |
Today I'm joined by the extraordinary Danette May, America’s leading healthy lifestyle expert, #1 best-selling author of “The Rise,” and 7 health and fitness books and programs. She is a co-founder and CCO of Mindful Health, LLC (#48 on the Inc. 5000 List), dedicated founder of The Rise movement, world-renowned motivational speaker, wife, and mother. Danette's rise began after losing her son during childbirth, getting divorced, and finding herself with $47 to her name. It was then that she decided to stop being a victim and rewrite her story. She began to focus on the three pillars of healing: healing foods, healing movement, and a healing mindset. These three pillars form the foundation of every product or program she's created since then. In this episode, Danette charts how she was able to pull herself back from rock bottom to have POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH in all areas of her life. Danette would also offer anyone who pre-orders her book access to a Free Live Virtual Relationship Coaching Event (worth $597). As a VIP coach, she leads healing retreats, and helps high level execs change their mindset, learn to manifest, and call in intimate relationships, attracting their Soul’s Contract Connection. Pre-orders of the new book "Embrace Abundance" can get a FREE TICKET to a live event by going here: http://embraceabundancebook.com What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What it meant for Danette to fail to tune into her intuition - The importance of taking responsibility for our life choices - Why forgiveness is so liberating - The three pillars of healing, and why it’s essential to focus on each of them - The importance of the words that we say to ourselves When we forgive those who hurt us, we unplug them from our energetic field. Either if they say or do something to us, or if we remember what they did to us in the past, we won't be affected. Only after we unplug ourselves from the people who hurt us, we can rise up and be who we want to be, without being pulled down by past memories. Resources: - Visit Danette May's website: https://danettemay.com/ - Pre-order Danette’s new book “Embrace Abundance” http://embraceabundancebook.com - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ | |||
| 23 Mar 2021 | Interview With Professor Sam Vaknin - Author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited - Part 1 | 00:29:28 | |
This episode is the first part of an enlightening interview with Sam Vaknin, Professor of Psychology & Finances at the Southern University of Rostov-on-Don, Russia, PhD in Philosophy and Physics, and author of the book "Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited." In this first of a three-episode series, we talked about why the narcissistic abuse experience is different from other abusive relationships, and why each narcissistic abuse story is unique. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How it was connecting with narcissistic abuse victims before the internet era - The uniqueness of the narcissistic abuse experience - How narcissists live inside their mind - Why making demands or having expectations threatens a narcissist’s equilibrium - The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) vs. the Psychodynamic Diagnostic Manual (PDM) When Professor Vaknin started working with narcissistic abuse trauma back in 1995, there was no terminology, no words to describe it. One of his first jobs was to coin terms like narcissistic supply, somatic narcissist, cerebral narcissist, and narcissistic abuse itself. He has been studying the subject passionately for over 26 years, helping thousands of people to recover from their trauma. Resources: - Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin - Connect with Professor Sam Vaknin on LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
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| 17 Jan 2023 | The Paradox Of Comedy & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:31:03 | |
Christa Cusack is a writer and coach who specializes in navigating the complex and challenging landscape of high-conflict narcissistic divorce. Christa has personally faced the struggles of post-separation abuse, but has found ways to cope and heal through the use of comedy writing, somatic work, self-hypnosis, reiki, and her own narcissism-informed coaching tools and methods. She has channelled her experiences into creating helpful resources such as card decks and journals, as well as books and screenplays, all with the goal of supporting and helping others in similar situations. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
In this episode, Christa delves into how she discovered the true nature of her relationship with her partner after leaving, and how she used her own intuition to navigate the trauma she faced. We'll also discuss the common tendency to keep ourselves "busy" as a means of avoiding our own intuition and how to avoid falling into that trap. Christa will also share the steps she took to rebuild her life in her 40's after experiencing the trauma of narcissistic abuse, physical illness, and post-traumatic stress. Connect with Christa:
Resources:
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| 25 Apr 2023 | The Hidden Dangers Of A Narcissistic Friend | 00:24:10 | |
In my past episodes, I have often discussed how narcissists can manifest as spouses, but it's important to note that they can appear in various other forms, such as bosses, parents, and even friends, which is the topic of this episode. I will be sharing my personal experience of how I unknowingly fell into the trap of a narcissistic friend shortly after my ex-husband left me. It's interesting to note that just as one narcissist left my life, another entered it. What you will learn in this episode:
Narcissistic abuse can serve as an alarm clock that awakens you to things you may have never seen before, such as being exploited by others during that period. Through this episode, I aim to underscore the significance of having a support system following narcissistic abuse while also being wary of falling prey to another narcissist. I will delve into how to navigate friendships in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and ensure that the people around you have your best interests at heart. Resources:
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| 23 Aug 2022 | 5 Signs of Love Bombing From A Narcissist | 00:16:23 | |
Have you been in a narcissistic relationship and are now scared to jump back into the dating scene for fears of ending up with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. By getting back into dating, we further our path to recovery, so it’s important to prepare ourselves for dating and to avoid falling into a narcissist's trap. One of the ways to avoid narcissists is to understand how they use love bombing to entice you into a relationship. What you will learn in this episode:
We must remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! There is hope. We may date some more narcissists along the way, but I hope with the information in this episode you can avoid them and end up growing into a great relationship. Resources:
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| 30 Apr 2024 | Are Women Being Misdiagnosed With Borderline Personality And Bipolar? | 00:21:28 | |
There is a growing trend of women receiving diagnosis of borderline personality disorder or bipolar. The symptoms of which often arise from their experiences in abusive relationships.
Unfortunately, when these women seek help, they are frequently misdiagnosed. Instead of receiving appropriate support, they are often told to medicate and move on with their lives.
However, this approach is inadequate. Women in abusive relationships should be provided with the necessary help to break free from these situations. Furthermore, they should be supported in rebuilding their confidence and sense of self-worth.
In this episode, we delve into:
Podcast Resources:
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| 29 Mar 2022 | The 2 Things That Will Hurt The Narcissist the Most | 00:22:15 | |
Narcissists love to have everything go their way, so when they don’t have that control, they can start to be negatively impacted. A narcissist not having control can open up a way for you to exit your relationship with them. In this episode, I will share the story of how my relationship with a narcissist came to an end and how I learned what a narcissist reacts to negatively.
What you will learn in this episode:
I hope this episode helps you mold your relationship with a narcissist to a point where you can leave the relationship so that you can begin to transform and heal yourself. Narcissists will always be hurt by the two things I will share with you in this episode, so listen carefully.
Resources:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT
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| 19 Mar 2024 | Trauma & Narcissism Redefined | 00:19:04 | |
I used to focus solely on narcissistic abuse and trauma recovery however, I realised I wanted to broaden the podcast to look at trauma and narcissism in a more holistic way.
I'll be sharing my personal journey with you - what led me to make the decision to rebrand and why I now call the show "Trauma and Narcissism Redefined". I'll also introduce you to some new frameworks I've learned, like Internal Family Systems therapy. In IFS we see our inner parts as having good intentions, even when their impact is destructive. I also think it's helpful to view our experiences through a nervous system lens rather than just focusing on pathology.
What you will learn in this episode:
I also want to open up about my own healing journey. As you may know, I struggled for years after leaving a covert narcissistic relationship, with mental health issues like PTSD, anxiety and depression. I'll share with you what finally helped me heal. I hope my story provides hope and insights for your own journey.
Podcast Resources:
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| 23 May 2023 | Midlife, Menopause & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:37:07 | |
Anxiety, depression, self-sabotage and brain fog are all symptoms that we’d love to be able to solve, but learning why you have these symptoms is necessary to start the healing process. Today I’m so excited to bring one of my certified coaches onto the podcast. Valerie Clark is an expert in midlife, menopause and narcissistic abuse and we’re going to discuss how these all interact together and how they have a significant impact on our healing and outlook. What you will learn in this episode:
In this episode, Valerie shares her personal journey of realizing the profound impact of trauma on her experience of menopause. She transformed her midlife from mere survival to a thriving phase. Valerie's expertise and insights will empower you and instil a belief in the possibility of finding light at the end of the tunnel. Connect with Valerie here:
Podcast Resources:
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| 15 Nov 2022 | Tina Swithin: One Mom’s Battle | 00:39:38 | |
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and are looking to leave and go through the family court system or you’re currently in that court system, you MUST listen to this episode. Today's guest is Tina Swithin. Tina is the author of Divorcing a Narcissist (4-part series), founder of One Mom’s Battle, and creator of Family Court Awareness Month. She is also a founding member of the National Safe Parents Organization. Tina Swithin acted as her own attorney in a custody case that spanned six years and during this time, her children were repeatedly placed in harm's way. Tina was successful in terminating her ex-husband’s parental rights and while she is considered one of the “lucky ones,” however, for anyone to hear her story and deem her as lucky speaks volumes about the brokenness of the system. Tina works to raise awareness of the issues in the family court system and to educate the general public on post-separation abuse and narcissistic abuse. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
You’ll hear Tina’s story of her experience with a narcissistic partner and the hurdles she had to jump over to go through the family court system, which has now led her to become an advocate for bringing awareness to post-separation abuse and the broken family court system. I decided to release this episode in the month of November, as November is Family Court Awareness Month, a movement that Tina created to shine a light on how broken court systems are around the world. Connect with Tina and learn more about bringing awareness to the broken court system:
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| 21 Dec 2021 | Can You Co-Parent with a Narcissist? | 00:17:21 | |
We hear pretty often that co-parenting is the best thing we can do for our children. However, those coming from an abusive relationship might find it almost impossible to be friendly with their abuser. In today's episode, we will talk about co-parenting with a narcissist, the challenges we'll find there and why it can be so triggering, and we’ll also explore an alternative to co-parenting - parallel parenting. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why co-parenting is not always a better choice for our family situation - What the communication challenges are that make co-parenting so hard - What parallel parenting is and how to do it properly - Some of the mistakes I made in co-parenting that you can avoid - Why parallel parenting is so effective in helping us keep our sanity We need to stop punishing ourselves for not being able to co-parent with the narcissist. We are not less of a parent if we can't co-parent. We've been in an abusive relationship and our focus must be on getting better, not on making sure the abuser is feeling better. The best thing we can give our kids is a mentally stable parent, and that’s where parallel parenting can help us. Resources: - Our Family Wizard website: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/ - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 10 Aug 2020 | Welcome To The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast | 00:10:11 | |
Narcissistic abuse is abuse to the very core of who you are. It leaves you feeling broken, lost, shameful and guilty. How many of you wake up each morning feeling like you just don't want to get out of bed and face the world, like you are stuck in the freeze trauma response, not knowing what to do? How many of you are maybe still in a relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s your parent, your partner, a co-worker or a friend, and you're desperately trying to please them every day, but you feel like you are not good enough, like it's your fault and you need to try harder? I know what it’s like because that was me. I’m Caroline Strawson and I want this podcast to support and educate you to know that where you are right now does not need to be where you will be in the future. The journey of self-healing my own trauma of narcissistic abuse has led me to create a multi-award winning business. I use a unique integration of therapies such as EMDR, Brainspotting, Rapid Transformational Therapy and Positive Psychology to help women like you recover from narcissistic abuse. Every week I will be delivering snapshots of education, support and inspiration, so you can slowly start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Thank you for listening and see you in the next episode! Resources: | |||
| 25 Aug 2020 | What Is Gaslighting | 00:20:05 | |
Gaslighting is a very insidious form of psychological abuse. It leaves the victims feeling insane, thinking they are the crazy ones. In this episode I’m going to tell you some stories about gaslighting, so you can recognise it when you see it or experience it. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
I'd love to hear if you've got any stories of gaslighting. Are they as wild as wacky as mine? Resources:
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| 08 Apr 2025 | Narcissistic Abuse Caused My Rheumatoid Arthritis | 01:08:25 | |
Today marks the launch of our rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, and the long-lasting physiological impact of trauma not just the psychological. In our very first episode, we sit down with Kirstie Haysman, who bravely shares her experience of narcissistic abuse and how it intertwines with her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. This conversation is one not to miss. We explore: • How chronic conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, IBS and others can be linked to the trauma of relational abuse • What happens in the body when we are exposed to long-term stress and emotional abuse • How healing is possible when we understand the connection between the nervous system and our physical health • The importance of working with the body, not against it If you’ve ever wondered whether your chronic symptoms could be connected to your past and present experiences of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse & coercive control… If you’ve ever felt unseen in your pain… If you’ve ever questioned the invisible impact of emotional abuse… This episode is for you. Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and join us in shining a light on what’s been hidden for far too long. Do not suffer alone and come and join my private FREE Facebook group - No Visible Bruises- Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available. | |||
| 12 Nov 2024 | REPLAY EP 164: Covert Financial Abuse by the Narcissist | 00:13:24 | |
Have you ever heard your partner say, "Don't worry, I'll handle everything and put it in my name," or "Just let me know if you need anything"? While these phrases might seem like generosity, they can actually be signs of financial abuse. In this episode, I’ll explore covert financial abuse and how narcissists use it to gain control, leaving you with little financial independence and making it hard to leave the relationship. But fear not, I'll guide you on reclaiming your financial independence and safely exiting the relationship. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll share a story about a woman I once helped. She left her partner after enduring years of financial abuse, where nothing, not even her phone number, was in her name. She couldn't even get a phone in her own name due to her lack of credit history, as everything financial was tied to her partner. Tune in to discover how you can regain control of your finances and prevent a situation like this. It's important to know that healing from this form of narcissistic abuse is possible. | |||
| 25 Mar 2025 | Transactional Love & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:00:46 | |
Do you know the invisible weight of transactional love? As someone who has walked through the emotional minefield, I understand how every interaction becomes a calculated performance. The narcissist conditions you to believe your worth is transactional and you constantly have to prove your value through endless giving, pleasing, and sacrificing. Your authentic self disappears and is replaced by a version carefully crafted to avoid criticism and earn microscopic fragments of affection. Each day becomes an exhausting dance of walking on eggshells, anticipating their next emotional manipulation. The trauma leaves invisible scars, making you question your own reality, your own memories. But healing is possible. Recognising that your worth isn't determined by their validation is the first powerful step towards reclaiming your identity. You are valuable simply by existing, not by how perfectly you serve someone else's toxic narrative. Your survival is your strength.
0:00 Intro 2:13 The Future of the Podcast 3:37 Transactional Love and Personal Experiences 9:01 Impact of Transactional Love on Children 12:30 Challenges and Solutions for Parents and Survivors 15:12 Conclusion
Podcast Resources:
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| 22 Sep 2020 | Am I a Narcissist? | 00:12:41 | |
I get so many messages every day from people all over the world asking - Am I A Narcissist? The first answer I always say back to them is no, you're not a narcissist because no narcissist would ever ask themselves such a question. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
If you are feeling upset right now wondering if You are the narcissist, please let me tell you you are definitely not. But it is good to have awareness that the reason you're thinking that is because you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse, and what you need to do now is get intentional about your healing. Resources:
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| 09 Feb 2021 | Medicalising Narcissistic Personality Disorder | 00:24:10 | |
This episode is about the controversy around the diagnosis of a narcissist and its medicalisation. Should narcissists be medicalised? And if they should, how does it affect those who've been involved with a narcissist? What You Will Learn In This Episode:
As a society, we are conditioned to look at the symptoms and there is not much space for considering the root cause. That's what is happening with narcissists as well. The root cause gets overlooked, and the abuse suffered by the narcissist's victims remains unacknowledged. But the solution might lie in looking at narcissists through the trauma lens. Resources:
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| 23 Nov 2021 | Why Keeping Telling Your Narcissistic Abuse Story Can Keep You Stuck | 00:18:46 | |
This week, we will talk about the negative effects of keeping repeating your story over and over. Of course, all of us who went through narcissistic abuse want to be heard and validated, and that’s why we need to tell our story. However, from a neuroscience perspective, the more we keep telling our story of abuse, the more we are slowing down our healing process. Today, we will explore how our mind works and understand what happens in our body when we talk about our story of abuse, and what can help us to overcome this trauma. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why repeating our story of abuse over and over makes our healing process slower - What Trauma Vortex is and how we get there - What happens in our body every time we relive our relationship with a narcissist - Why we must pay attention to the content we consume on the internet and on social media about narcissistic abuse Much of the content about narcissistic abuse we see on social media is about how terrible it is, whether it is made with humour through memes or actual stories. And it is awful indeed, but that kind of content focuses on the narcissist, on the abuse and, therefore, activates the negative feelings we had while enduring that abuse. The way I see it, our focus should be elsewhere - on our recovery, what we can learn about ourselves, and what we can use from it to grow and evolve. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 09 Jul 2024 | Who Knew Trauma, Stress & Narcissistic Abuse Can Cause Gum Disease!!! | 00:15:32 | |
Pre-order my NEW book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
I knew that stress & trauma could cause physical issues, but I never knew it could affect your gums!
Following my abusive relationship and stressful divorce I began noticing the physical toll it took on me, but it’s only recently I noticed the impact on my gums. I have been ignoring frequent gum bleeding, but lately it has turned into chronic inflammation and pain, prompting me to seek help.
My dentist diagnosed me with gum disease and explained how stress weakens the immune system, making it harder to fight infections, including those in the mouth. It’s so easy to miss these signs when you’re in a fight, flight, or freeze response, making it extra important we remind each other to look after our physical health as well as our mental health. If you're experiencing emotional distress, pay attention to your body's signals and take steps to care for your entire self.
In this episode, we will explore:
Podcast Resources:
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| 16 Aug 2020 | Codependency And Narcissism | 00:15:48 | |
In today's episode I want to talk about codependency and the narcissist, because a codependent is literally a magnet to a narcissist. We will go over what codependency is, and the mechanism behind the codependent-narcissist mutual attraction. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When you put expectations on other people to behave in a certain way for you to feel good enough, you're putting your happiness in someone else's hands. You need to take responsibility to go within and heal your wounds first. And when you heal your own codependency, you change everything because you stop looking externally to get your sense of self worth. Resources:
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| 01 Feb 2022 | The 3 Stages Of Healing After A Narcissistic Ex | 00:24:53 | |
It can feel familiar to be in a relationship with a narcissist and we sometimes need reminding that a relationship with a narcissist is an unsafe relationship. So in this episode, I will discuss the three common stages of healing after leaving a narcissist. From noticing that you are in a narcissistic relationship to having post-traumatic growth, I want to help you live a safe and comfortable life again. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
We will typically end up with narcissists because we’ve been in unhealthy relationships previously, so after breaking up with a narcissist we need to learn how to function in a healthy relationship. The 3 stages of healing that I share in this episode will help you feel comfortable in a “normal” relationship and will hopefully help you lead a better and more fulfilling life. Resources:
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| 30 Jul 2024 | Communal Narcissism Explained!! - The do-gooder narcissist | 00:14:46 | |
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
There are ten distinct types of narcissism, but the most prevalent is the communal narcissist. 'Communal Narcissism' is characterised by the same sense of entitlement and grandiosity familiar from traditional narcissism, but is often hidden under the guise of doing the right thing.
When you first encounter a communal narcissist, it's unlikely that you will immediately recognise them as such. It often takes time to discern their personality traits and realise that their intentions may not be as sincere as you initially thought.
If you notice someone portraying themselves as the "good guy" in public but acting quite differently in private, there is a strong possibility they are a communal narcissist.
In this episode, we will explore:
Resources:
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| 12 Aug 2020 | What Is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder | 00:20:09 | |
I'm sure most of you have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. But there is something else called Complex PTSD. So in today’s episode we are talking about the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
If you can relate to some of the symptoms of the Complex PTSD, it doesn't mean you're going to have this forever. It just means that trauma is stuck, and what we have to do is unstick it, process it, get it time stamped into the past and move forward. I believe you, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. And I’m here to support you. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse | |||
| 26 Jul 2022 | Anger At The Cheating Narcissist | 00:20:22 | |
Anger is one of the biggest emotions I see directed at the narcissist, and sometimes even more at the other woman or man that your narcissistic partner has cheated with. In this episode, I will discuss what happens inside our body and brain when anger is building up and why it’s important to know how to deal with this emotion so that we can start to heal from our past traumas. What you will learn in this episode:
Anger certainly showed its face when I was dealing with my narcissistic ex-husband, and thankfully I was able to direct the emotions I was feeling to help me through the healing process. It’s important that we know how to direct these emotions. I hope this episode and discussion around anger will help you along your healing journey, as what builds inside of us as an emotion can eventually lead to real physical illnesses. Resources:
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| 10 May 2022 | 6 Ways A Narcissist Creates Reactive Abuse | 00:21:08 | |
Narcissists will attempt to put the blame on you for a fractured relationship by causing you to lash out, this is called Reactive Abuse and whilst there is so much in the public domain at the moment with court cases like Johnny Depp V Amber Heard (the only winners here are the lawyers), it is an ideal opportunity to learn and educate ourselves about the devastating effects. What you will learn in this episode:
In this episode, I will discuss the tactics narcissists use to perpetrate reactive abuse, and how to deal with a situation where reactive abuse is happening. Narcissists will often use your lashing out to blame YOU for the problems in the relationship, so I hope this episode will help you understand that your lashing out is not your fault. Resources:
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| 20 Sep 2022 | Narcissistic Relationships, Trauma & Polyvagal Theory | 00:20:27 | |
Do you ever wonder why you react in the way you do and wish that you had a positive response instead of what always seems to be a negative response? If so, tune in, as in this episode I’ll break down Polyvagal Theory and how it teaches us how and why our responses are often automatic. By knowing how our nervous system controls our responses, we can start to point ourselves in the direction of growth by integrating a recovery programme that can change how we feel for the better. What you will learn in this episode:
I’ll also discuss how you can use the traffic light system to define where you are in your trauma recovery. At the end of the day, I want you to know how you can turn your pain into your purpose, and by learning more about your nervous system, you’ll be able to create a recovery plan to influence how your nervous system can help you for the better. If you want to learn about these topics on a much greater scale, you can check out my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme here: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Resources:
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| 30 Jan 2024 | Over Explaining As A Trauma Response To Narcissistic Abuse | 00:15:58 | |
Narcissistic abuse causes us to act in so many different ways as a response to the trauma, this is our body creating a protector part of ourselves to try and make us feel safe. One of these protector parts can show up as over-explaining! Do you find it hard to simply say “no” to a request, without going into an essay into why you can’t do something? This is over-explaining, and I was the QUEEN of over-explaining. What you will learn in this episode:
I found that the more I tried to explain, the worse I’d make the situation. It’s so common to dig ourselves into a hole the more that we try to explain away our behaviours, and unfortunately, it’s not our fault, it’s our body trying to safeguard ourselves from disappointing our friends and family. In this episode, I’m going to explain why we over-explain and how we can address the root cause of this issue so that we can finally be a reflection of our true selves and not worry about what other people think of us anymore. Podcast Resources:
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| 15 Mar 2022 | The 7 Signs to Help You Spot a Covert Narcissist | 00:17:51 | |
The overt narcissist we see, but the covert narcissist is much more subtle and a lot harder to recognize, so in this episode, I am going to walk you through the common warning signs to look for if you have a feeling you may be dealing with a narcissist.
What you will learn in this episode:
Spotting a covert narcissist is so important, because the person you meet in public who comes across as friendly can be an entirely different person behind closed doors. So I hope this episode helps you avoid dealing with a narcissist in the future, and also helps those of you who are currently dealing with a covert narcissist.
Resources:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT | |||
| 25 Jan 2022 | Community Support After Narcissistic Abuse | 00:05:52 | |
I have some BIG NEWS! I’m currently in the process of planning the relaunch of The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast and I want YOU to have a say in the future of the podcast. Your comments and emails have been so amazing over the last year and I want nothing more than to make sure you know how grateful I am for you. So listen in to hear how you can shape the podcast so that I know what topics you want me to cover, what guests I should bring on and most of all, how I can help you in your recovery. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
I want to give you the ability to mould the future of my podcast so that I can help you the most! I want to know what you’ve enjoyed so far and what content you’d love to hear in new episodes. If you’d be so kind as to leave me feedback on the podcast to give me an insight into what you’d like to hear in future episodes, I’d be so grateful. You can let me know what you want from the podcast by filling out this form here: https://form.jotform.com/220232614900341 Resources:
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| 04 Mar 2025 | Breaking The Trauma Bond To A Narcissist -The Hidden Addiction | 00:19:53 | |
Have you struggled to let go of your relationship with a narcissist? The trauma bond created in narcissistic abuse can feel like an addiction, with physiological reasons behind the difficulty to break free. Understanding the hormone secretions and brain chemistry involved is key to developing the necessary strategies, intention, and awareness to heal. Somatic tools and deep trauma work are essential for thriving after narcissistic abuse, as simply ignoring the situation or waiting for time to heal often falls short. Recognising the unseen, psychological nature of this abuse, rather than focusing on visible bruises, is crucial. Becoming a cycle breaker and raising awareness about narcissistic traits and coercive control can empower both the individual and the broader community. With the right support and education, it is possible to overcome the trauma bond and reclaim your life after narcissistic abuse. 0:00 Trauma Bonding and Addiction 1:08 Upcoming Masterclass and Podcast Relaunch 8:04 Therapy and Coaching Techniques 8:20 Personal Journey and Healing 16:05 Support and Community Podcast Resources:
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| 12 Sep 2023 | The Shame Of Narcissistic Abuse | 00:18:34 | |
Many of us who've experienced narcissistic abuse often blame ourselves and carry the shame. But it's important to understand that we're not at fault. We need to find healthy ways to release our anger and heal from our abusive past. In this episode, I'll share my story of overcoming shame and finding healing, and I'll show you how you can do the same. What you will learn in this episode:
Have you ever wondered, "Why did I stay so long?" or thought, "How could I have been so foolish?" These self-blaming questions often arise when we've been through abuse, but it's important to remember that the blame lies with the abuser, not us. It's natural to feel responsible as a way to protect ourselves from future harm, but we must acknowledge that we're not to blame. To begin healing from narcissistic abuse, we need to let go of the anger from our past. Resources:
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| 20 Aug 2020 | The Family Dynamics Of Narcissistic Abuse | 00:15:30 | |
Today I’m talking about the family dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the different roles that occur within a family. In particular, I want to talk about the scapegoat within the family when you have a narcissistic parent. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
I'm a big believer that when you heal yourself you heal the next generation. So just because your children have a parent that is a narcissist does not mean that they will be a codependent or a narcissist. You can break the cycle of scapegoating, you can heal, and the reason I know that is because that's exactly what I did. Resources: | |||
| 03 Nov 2020 | What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder | 00:17:25 | |
In this week’s episode, I want to talk about what exactly a narcissist is, and what tool is used to identify narcissistic personality disorder. We tend to wrongly label narcissists as those who take lots of selfies or those who are rude to us, and by doing that, we are not helping the real victims of narcissistic abuse. What You Will Learn In This Episode: •The difference between being a narcissist and being obnoxious •How being a victim of Narcissistic Personality Disorder affected me •Are narcissistic personalities born or created? •The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) nine traits to detect Narcissistic Personality Disorder •The importance of educating the society regarding NPD and helping its victims If someone you know ticks the boxes of at least five of the nine traits described by the DSM, the person has NPD. This method might help you get some reassurance of what you are dealing with and that it is not your fault. Resources:
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| 18 Mar 2025 | Are They Really A Narcissist?? | 00:14:32 | |
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, are they really a narcissist? The complexities of narcissistic relationships can be overwhelming, leaving you questioning your own sanity. However, it's crucial to understand that the word "narcissist" is merely a label, not a definition of your worth. The spectrum of narcissism is vast, with varying behaviors and traits that can make it challenging to pinpoint. Remember, no true narcissist would ever question their own narcissistic tendencies. If you find yourself pondering this, it's a sign that you're not the problem. Instead, focus on your healing journey, as the path to recovery is not an easy one. Seek support, explore your emotions, and reclaim your voice. Your well-being is paramount, and with the right guidance, you can break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse. 0:00 Introduction and Podcast Rebrand 1:14 Upcoming Episodes and Guest Interviews 2:48 Identifying Narcissists and the Narcissism Spectrum 4:44 Impact of Narcissistic Relationships on Victims 7:41 Physiological and Emotional Effects of Narcissistic Abuse 11:36 The Abuse Cycle and Trauma Bond 13:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Quiz link https://m.me/carolinestrawson?ref=podcast Podcast Resources:
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| 29 Oct 2024 | REPLAY EP 168: Does The Narcissist In Your Life Ruin Special Occasions? | 00:15:53 | |
Do you ever notice that whenever there's a special event in your life, like Christmas, a birthday, or an anniversary, there's always someone who seems to spoil the celebration? This behaviour is often associated with narcissism. In this episode, I’ll explore why narcissists often disrupt special occasions, how to identify the warning signs, and I’ll share tips on how to navigate these moments. What you will learn in this episode:
This individual might not only be your partner; it could be a family member like a father, mother, brother, or sister. Their presence can make special events challenging. Therefore, my goal for this episode is to assist you in handling these significant occasions and upcoming holidays with a clear plan of action. Resources:
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| 19 Oct 2021 | Nervous System Responses To Narcissistic Abuse | 00:17:56 | |
Today, I will explain in depth what the Ladder of Tolerance is, how it works and how we use it in my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Program™. We will explore how our nervous system functions, hoping to remove some of the guilt and shame that narcissistic abuse imprints on us. I will share some of my own traumatic experiences as a child that made me blend with my protective parts and turn into a perfectionist, self-harming, and people-pleasing person. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The Ladder of Tolerance and how can we use it to understand our nervous system response to abuse - What is post-traumatic growth, and how it can help us recover from narcissistic abuse - What it means that we must be taught to be in the top part of the ladder, and what happens when we are not - Why healing from narcissistic abuse does not happen only on the cognitive level, and what other things we must work on to heal completely Our nervous system is constantly moving up and down the ladder. When we feel safe, we are at the top, and when we feel anxious, nervous, or threatened, we are at the bottom. In many cases, there is no real danger and still, we think our life is on the line. What triggers that response is usually self-worthiness wounds we drag from traumatic experiences from our childhood. We need to take a closer look at those wounds, get curious about them and find out their origin, so we can learn to heal them. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 08 Nov 2022 | Brainspotting, Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Healing | 01:06:11 | |
I’m SO excited to welcome Dr. Mark Grixti onto the show this week to discuss what Brainspotting is and how it has helped people heal from narcissistic abuse and trauma. Mark is a psychologist, author, fellow podcast host, and the head of Brainspotting UK. Mark and I work collaboratively on my trauma-informed & narcissistic trauma-informed certifications where Mark does an internal Brainspotting training with us. I can’t wait for you to listen to this episode as I truly believe that Brainspotting and the work it does can help hundreds of thousands of people dealing with trauma. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
In this episode, we discuss everything from what exactly Brainspotting is, why it’s a great treatment for trauma, and how Mark uses it in his practice, to how our brains have the capacity to heal built in and how we can tap into that natural response. Mark will go into detail about how Brainspotting uses our visual systems as a method of healing and why we need to stop suppressing our emotions and start expressing them. Near the end of the episode, we do a deep dive into how important relationships are, whether family, friends, or partners. We’ll discover the physiological epigenetic responses we gain from relationships and how to nurture healthy connections with others. Connect with Mark:
Resources:
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| 06 Aug 2024 | Is The Narcissist Your Knight In Shining Armour? | 00:15:49 | |
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
Are you stuck waiting for some external validation to prove that you are enough? That you deserve to be happy? Well guess what, you DO deserve to be happy, but you don’t need a knight in shining armour to come along and save you to prove it.
It’s easy to tie your worth to another person, but their validation may be narcissistic behaviour pretending to be “the good guy”. You are worth it for who you are, not for what people say about you.
In this episode, we will explore:
I also discuss some of my core wounds to help you see how I broke free of the narcissistic cycle, and how you too can prove to yourself that you are enough.
Resources:
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| 13 Aug 2020 | How To Divorce From A Narcissist | 00:19:06 | |
So you found yourself married to a narcissist, and you are thinking about leaving. Or maybe you have already started the process of divorcing a narcissist, and you realise that it is only just beginning. In this episode we are covering steps and resources that can help you go through this difficult process. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Know that the first year of divorcing a narcissist is going to be really tough, but you can do it. I trust you and I believe in you, but you've got to focus on your safety and on your mental health. Resources:
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| 21 Jun 2022 | 5 Ways To Ignore The Narcissists Fantasies On Special Occasions | 00:30:09 | |
With it being fathers day this past weekend, I wanted to share some top tips on how you can cope through special occasions, such as birthdays, Christmas, and family events when there’s a narcissist involved. On big occasions, narcissists will often guilt trip you to connect with them, and you may even feel like you should give them another chance. It’s important to not fall into their trap, so in this episode, I’ll give you five ways to ignore the narcissist on special occasions. What you will learn in this episode:
These special events can be a great opportunity to take back your power, to show the narcissist that you will not be drawn back to them and that they won’t get their narcissistic supply from you. So use the methods I discuss to expand the gap between you and the narcissist and to make it incredibly difficult or impossible for them to reconnect with you. Resources:
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| 27 Jul 2021 | The Diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder | 00:10:09 | |
In this episode, we will talk about the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). We will analyse the nine traits determined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) to diagnose the narcissistic disorder. We will also talk about covert narcissists, the difficulties with getting a diagnosis and how it impacts the victims of abuse, and the issues with medicalising NPD. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What are the nine traits established by the DSM to diagnose a narcissistic personality disorder? - Why we say that there are much more than nine traits that we should look at - Why it is hard to get the NPD diagnosis, and how that affects the victim of narcissistic abuse - What a covert narcissist is, and why we consider them the most dangerous type of narcissists As narcissists would rarely recognise they have a problem, getting a diagnosis becomes almost impossible. This adds pressure to their victims who are looking for help, and that is why we need to be careful when we hear that someone is a narcissist, and be ready to listen to the victims. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 05 Jul 2022 | Ask Me Anything: July ‘22 | 00:28:50 | |
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! I’ve received so many questions from you since our first “AMA” last month and I’m so happy that we can engage in this way. In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why people don’t believe your story about a narcissist to how to deal with a trauma bond. I’ve tried to pick the questions that I believe will relate to the majority of you. Questions in this episode include:
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! Resources:
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| 18 Oct 2022 | Does the Narcissist Call You a Narcissist? | 00:17:21 | |
Have you ever wondered if you’re the narcissist in the relationship? If so, this episode will put an end to those thoughts. There are subtle differences between having a narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits, in this episode I’ll explain the behaviours of these two types of people and what actually makes a person a narcissist. I also want to say a quick shout-out to all of you who came to my Unseen Wounds of Women event last week. You all made it such a special event for me, I’m so grateful for all of you. What you will learn in this episode:
It isn’t uncommon for people to mirror the behaviour of a narcissist to soften the abuse, and due to this it’s sometimes hard to see which person is the narcissist at first, but with a little digging, it’s easy to see who the REAL narcissist is. I hope this episode provides you with the tools to find the right people to help you grow and how to let go of the “friends” that are keeping you stuck. Resources:
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| 12 Oct 2021 | The Narcissistic Disney Parent | 00:12:21 | |
In this episode, we will talk about what I call the Disney narcissistic parents - about their behaviour when they are with the kids, the effects of that on our children, and the responses it triggers in us. We will talk about dealing with this kind of narcissistic parents, which is one of the most challenging parts of co-parenting with a narcissist. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What is a Disney narcissistic parent and how we can identify them - Why it is so triggering for us to deal with this behaviour in co-parenting with a narcissist - Why our kids misbehave when they are with us and never when they are with the narcissistic parent - How The Tolerance Ladder can help us understand our kids' behaviour Although it might be extremely challenging to co-parent with a narcissist, we must focus on teaching our kids values, showing them love, ensuring a secure connection and installing a healthy sense of self in them. The Disney narcissistic parent will flood them with expensive toys, new cell phones or video games, but none of that can compete with the kind of relationship we can offer to them based on trust, love and a deep connection. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
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| 11 Oct 2022 | Helping YOU Step Into Post-Traumatic Growth with Kim Pontarelli | 00:34:03 | |
In this episode, I interview Kim Pontarelli, one of my trained Trauma Informed Coaches who specialises in covert narcissism, helping women step into post-traumatic growth. In this episode, Kim discusses how she has turned her own pain and struggle into her purpose and her strength. Kim also shares with us what post-traumatic growth is and how to take responsibility for your life going forward whilst stopping yourself from blaming yourself for the past. What you will learn in this episode:
Tune in to the end to hear Kim share what it’s like to be in the dark, and why you need to know that you can get out of it! Kim knows that you can thrive, as she is now living a meaningful life and for the first time ever, she feels like she is actually living. Finally, Kim also discusses what reactive abuse is, and how you can work on yourself to stop reacting negatively, but also not blaming yourself if you do lash out. Connect with Kim:
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| 31 Oct 2023 | Meet Reality TV Star Natalie Russell from My Mum, Your Dad & Hear Her Incredible Healing Journey | 00:52:52 | |
WARNING: In this episode, we discuss hard hitting trauma so please be aware and make sure you are grounded listening to it. If you do relate to anything, please reach out to the relevant authorities. We discuss:
I recently had the privilege of interviewing Natalie Russell, a remarkable participant from ITV1's "My Mum, Your Dad." Her story is both powerful and inspiring. While the episode delves deep, I believe it offers valuable insights, reminding us that it's never too late to find hope. What you will learn in this episode:
Natalie is now a commited relationship coach where she helps women increase their self-esteem, and helps them heal so that they can learn to live their best life and love again. I hope Natalie’s story helps you understand that healing is possible and that your best life is still ahead of you. Connect with Natalie here:
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| 09 Aug 2022 | Body Shaming & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:23:26 | |
Have you ever said to yourself “I feel so stupid… I’m so fat… I’m so ugly?” If so, you’re not alone. I used to say those words to myself all the time, I felt disgusted at myself and I definitely didn’t want to look at my body in the mirror. This was all happening whilst I was married to my narcissistic ex-husband, he had deeply impacted my sense of self and my physical appearance is what I honed in on. What you will learn in this episode:
Body shaming can be a huge part of narcissistic abuse, because we’ll blame ourselves for what’s happening and take it out on ourself. My hope for this episode is that I can put you on the right track to love yourself and feel comfortable in your own body in the process of healing from narcissistic abuse. Here is the link to book your FREE call with one of my Narcissistic Abuse Ambassadors to get your very own Personalised Healing Map with the steps to start your healing journey with where you are right now: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/personalised-healing-map-call Resources:
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| 05 Nov 2024 | REPLAY EP 154: 10 Signs of a Covert Narcissist | 00:15:54 | |
Introversion, anxiety, empathy… these definitely aren’t behaviours we think of when we picture a narcissist, but they are the traits that the hardest to spot narcissists have. Let me introduce you to the covert narcissist. The covert narcissist can fly under the radar until it’s too late, and I want to share with you 10 signs that someone may be a covert narcissist to help you steer clear of them, whether they’re your current partner, a potential partner, a friend or even a family member. What you will learn in this episode:
We often associate grandiosity, extraversion, confidence, and a 'look-at-me' attitude with narcissism. While it's important to note that not everyone displaying these traits is a narcissist, they serve as warning signs that help us avoid falling for another narcissist. However, it's crucial to recognize that not all narcissists fit the same mold. The covert narcissist, in particular, poses the greatest danger because they don't exhibit the stereotypical narcissistic behaviour. This makes it much easier to unknowingly fall into their trap. Podcast Resources:
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| 24 Dec 2024 | How to Intentionally Heal After Narcissistic Abuse | 00:13:22 | |
Are you ready to break free from the shackles of narcissistic abuse and reclaim your life? Healing from narcissistic trauma requires intentionality and a deep understanding of the impact on your nervous system. Gone are the days of simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Instead, you must actively engage in embodied practices that address the physiological responses triggered by the narcissist's behavior. This isn't about changing the narcissist - that's an impossible task. Rather, it's about reclaiming your power by transforming the way your body and mind react to the trauma. With the right support and strategies, you can break free from the cycle of shame and self-doubt, and step into a future filled with self-compassion and authentic connection. Your journey to wholeness begins now, and the path forward is within your reach. 0:00 Navigating Narcissistic Trauma and Abuse 5:08 Creating a Supportive Environment 5:22 Addressing Shame and Self-Care 6:22 The Role of Self-Care in Healing 7:07 The Limits of Talk Therapy and the Importance of Embodied Healing 9:17 The Three Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse 10:50 Community Support and Resources 11:03 The Importance of Intentionality in Healing 12:27 Encouragement and Final Thoughts Podcast Resources:
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| 17 Nov 2020 | Help!!! I'm Addicted to a Narcissist! | 00:24:46 | |
In this episode I’m talking about the addiction to the narcissist in your life, how to deal with it, and the first steps to overcome it. Remember that every addiction serves to stop us from feeling the pain of our wounded younger part, and today we are going to unpack that mechanism. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
In a relationship with a narcissistic person, we are continually trying to prove that we are good enough, and our body gets used to that sensation. Not feeling good enough then becomes familiar, and our brain perceives what's familiar as what's safe, thus ignores the pain we are feeling and perpetuates that cycle. Resources:
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| 06 Jul 2021 | The Narcissist/Codependent Magnet | 00:16:40 | |
Today, we will talk about the magnetic relationship between narcissists and codependents. We will dive deep into their origins, why they attract each other, and why they seem like a match made in heaven - or more accurately, made in hell. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why certain people only attract narcissists to their love life - The role of the worthiness wounds in codependents' and in narcissists' behaviours - How codependents can heal their emotional core wounds, and prevent themselves from attracting narcissists Once a codependent identifies the core wound that triggers their protector parts to make them constantly give so they feel worthy or lovable, the chances are huge that they prevent those protector parts from acting on their behalf. With narcissists, on the other hand, this is almost impossible, since they'll never look at their worthiness wounds. Resources: - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 04 Jul 2023 | Teen Red Flags In Relationships | 00:17:03 | |
As a mother of two teenagers, I frequently contemplate their ability to navigate relationships and recognize potential warning signs. In this episode, I aim to empower teenagers by highlighting 10 crucial red flags they should be aware of in relationships. By recognizing these signs, they can identify when a relationship may not be healthy and possibly avoid becoming involved with a narcissistic partner. What you will learn in this episode:
If we had access to this information during our own teenage years, we might have been able to evade the damaging presence of a narcissist or, at the very least, recognize the need for help sooner. My desire is to impart these invaluable lessons to the next generation, bringing an end to the cycle of trauma and promoting safer dating experiences for teenagers. Together, we can equip our youth with the tools they need to navigate healthy relationships and thrive emotionally… and don’t forget, these red flags are red flags in any relationship, at any age. Resources:
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| 06 Feb 2024 | Is Your Diagnosis From Abuse The Result Of Unhealed Trauma? | 00:20:26 | |
Many people feel that a diagnosis of anxiety, depression, or ADHD is a permanent label. However, it doesn't have to be like that. These conditions often stem from past experiences. To heal, it's important to understand and address the root causes of our feelings. In this episode, I’ll discuss how we can look inside and heal from our past, instead of putting a band-aid on our feelings like so many medical diagnoses will do. What you will learn in this episode:
When I work with behaviours at the level of the nervous system and tackle the root cause, people often see their behaviours change. This means they might not need medication anymore because we've dealt with the reasons behind their body's reactions, rather than just covering up their emotions. From narcissistic abuse to generational trauma, there are so many things that could be causing you to feel the way that you do, but we’ll never fully heal until we truly understand the reason for how we feel, my aim for this episode is to help you address your feelings from a nervous system level. Podcast Resources:
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| 09 Nov 2021 | The Shame of Narcissistic Abuse | 00:15:30 | |
Today, we will talk about the shame many of us feel for staying longer than we think we should have in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. In this show, my main focus is to understand before judging, to be compassionate before pointing fingers, and to take care of what we feel before wasting time on what others think of us. We will look at the reasons that made us stay in an abusive relationship from a trauma-informed lens, trying to understand our nervous system and why we behave the way we do. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The link between my childhood traumas and me becoming a perfectionist and a people-pleasing person - Why meeting my ex-husband, a covert narcissist, felt like I had met Prince Charming - Why our brain thinks that it is better to stay with the narcissist than risk the unknown world When our protector parts are coming to the rescue, that means somehow our inner child wounds were triggered. Getting curious about what triggered them is crucial for our recovery. We can't change past events, but we can change our experience over those events and, most importantly, how we FEEL about those events. That is the beginning of our healing journey because those past traumatic experiences won't hurt us anymore. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 10 Sep 2024 | The Hell of Parenting With A Narcissist | 00:09:01 | |
Join my FREE masterclass on How To Parent With A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.com/parenting-masterclass Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
On today's episode of Trauma and Narcissism Redefined, I'm discussing the difficulties of parenting alongside a narcissist - even after separation. Narcissists will often try to use your children against you, whether that be through forcing you to rely on them financially, influencing their opinion of you directly, or using the court system against you in the case of divorce.
In fact when you go through a divorce with a narcissist the abuse doesn't stop, it often escalates. This is known as post-separation abuse, and only through understanding their methods and healing yourself can you break out of the cycle.
Key topics covered in this episode:
Join me for my free How To Parent With A Narcissist masterclass, live on Sunday 15th September. In it I'll be covering key strategies like parallel parenting, nervous system regulation, and the importance of putting your own oxygen mask on first before supporting your children. Sign up even if you can't attend live as I'll be sending out the recording afterwards
Resources:
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| 04 Apr 2023 | Auto Immune Disorders & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:17:57 | |
There is a growing body of evidence that suggests a link between narcissistic abuse and various autoimmune disorders, such as fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and various inflammatory issues. Upon closer examination of the onset of these physical ailments, a correlation with the traumatic experiences of narcissistic abuse often arises. In this episode, I explore how our bodies utilize physical pain as a coping mechanism to divert our attention from the abuse we are enduring. What you will learn in this episode:
Additionally, I will share my personal experience with how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped me understand that my mother's rheumatoid arthritis was likely a result of her own traumatic experiences. My ultimate goal of this episode is to empower you to identify the underlying causes of your pain so that you can begin to heal from within, rather than relying solely on medication or resigning yourself to a lifetime of suffering. It is my hope that this episode will serve as a helpful resource in this journey towards healing. Resources:
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| 21 May 2024 | How To Regain Your Mojo In Order To Live Healthier | 00:16:54 | |
Pre-order my new book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Are you struggling to find the mojo to get out and exercise again after you’ve experienced trauma? Maybe you’ve broken out of an abusive relationship and want to lose weight, but you just keep struggling?
Trauma, whether physical or emotional, can significantly impact your motivation and ability to engage in healthy behaviours. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way, and the journey to reclaiming your health and vitality can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. Understanding how trauma affects your mind and body is the first step towards recovery.
In this episode, we'll delve into:
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| 13 Sep 2022 | Survivor Stories: Sarada Rao | 00:43:05 | |
In this Survivor Stories episode, you’ll meet Sarada Rao, a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor and one of my students in my Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification who is driven to help women from the South Asian Community. We’ll discover how Sarada is turning her pain and struggle into her purpose and strength to help women from the South East Asian community to recognise narcissistic abuse and recover from it. What you will learn in this episode:
Sarada discusses how she discovered what narcissism is after a childhood of narcissistic abuse from her parents which led to an arranged marriage with a narcissist. Then throughout the episode, we’ll see where Sarada is now, so that women, especially those from the South East Asian community, can see what the light at the end of the tunnel can look like in terms of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Connect with Sarada:
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| 19 Apr 2022 | Chronic Pain & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:20:49 | |
It is estimated that over 20% of a country's population is suffering from chronic pain, and often the root cause of the pain is unknown. However, for those suffering from emotional trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, chronic pain can be a symptom of that emotional trauma. What you will learn in this episode:
In this episode, I’m going to discuss how our body deals with narcissistic abuse and why your emotional pain can often manifest itself as physical pain. The knowledge of how your brain, nervous system and body react to emotional trauma can be the key to being able to solve chronic pain, so I hope this episode can help you understand why you may be feeling the way you do. Resources:
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| 13 Dec 2022 | Coping With Narcissistic Abuse Whilst Being A Special Needs Parent | 00:41:49 | |
In this episode, we are joined by Andrea Humeniuk, a narcissistic abuse specialist who helps women recover and thrive after narcissistic trauma and domestic abuse. Andrea shares her own story of dealing with narcissistic abuse and being the parent of a special needs child. She offers guidance and support to other women who have experienced similar trauma, helping them build resilience and find a life they never thought was possible. I hope my discussion with Andrea helps you on your own journey to recovery. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
Andrea also emphasizes the importance of trusting your intuition and not blaming yourself for the actions of others, especially narcissists. Additionally, she discusses the struggles parents of special needs children often face and offers advice for those in similar situations. I strongly suggest connecting with Andrea if you are currently dealing with narcissistic abuse, trying to recover from trauma, or are on the journey of raising a child with special needs. Connect with Andrea:
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| 12 Dec 2023 | The Loneliness Of Narcissistic Abuse | 00:13:59 | |
Who is around you when you’re feeling hurt? Who is there to listen to you when you need to talk to someone? Unfortunately, it’s all too common to feel isolated when you’re suffering from narcissistic abuse or you’re trying to heal. I felt isolated for so long, and I want you to know that it does not have to be that way. What you will learn in this episode:
I spent a lot of time during and after going through narcissistic abuse feeling alone, and it made it even worse when I went to friends and family to look for validation of my feelings and they didn’t truly believe or understand what I was feeling. Fortunately, I now understand that there is no reason at all to feel lonely because of what you’ve experienced, and I hope this episode can help you find the community you need. Podcast Resources:
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| 22 Dec 2020 | The Three Stages of Divorcing a Narcissist | 00:18:16 | |
Today we talk about the three stages of our healing process when we are divorcing a narcissist. We go through our priorities in stage one, sorting out the legalities while starting to heal in stage two, and recognising that healing is a lifelong journey in stage three. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Divorcing a narcissist is tough, especially if you have children. However, if we focus on our safety, on our healing process, and avoid re-traumatising our mind, we can go through it. What we need to do is not beat ourselves up, and create a healthy ecosystem around us to help us heal. Resources:
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| 22 Nov 2022 | The Complexities of Being A Muslim Woman With A Trauma History | 00:31:23 | |
Noshiela Maqsood is a mum of 5 children. She is a 3× best selling author, Master Coach, and NLP Trainer. She empowers Muslim women to heal their inner wounds and become generational change-makers. Escaping a prison sentence taught her about her self-worth, boundaries, and how much she needed to make her mental and emotional well-being a priority. She quit being a people pleaser and started saying yes to herself! After her own healing journey, overcoming depression and anxiety, she committed herself to helping women find the light within themselves. She has helped women around the world heal their inner wounds and has helped many start their own coaching businesses. She is determined to spread her message of empowering women far and wide. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
Noshiela is in my high-performance healing mastermind and her mission is so powerful that I knew I had to have her on the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how Muslim women are treated in their culture and how it leads to many women having trauma, and what Noshiela is doing to change this. We’ll learn about Noshiela’s upbringing and how it influences her life today and how the Muslim family environment influenced Noshiela’s view on the world and on her own healing. We’ll also discuss how our own self-talk can determine our own beliefs and how to get out of a negative mindset and into a recovery and healing mindset. Connect with Noshiela:
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| 16 Feb 2021 | The Child's Trauma Response To The Narcissistic Parent | 00:17:40 | |
In today's episode, we will talk about future generations and narcissism. We will explore and analyze kids' trauma responses to being with a narcissist and the best ways to help them deal with it. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When our kids come back to us aggressive or angry, we must see them through the trauma-informed lens. We need to understand them, show them love and compassion, be supportive and make them feel that we see them and hear them. Our kids misbehave with us because we are their anchor. We must be aware of that and build our relationship with them from that place. Resources:
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| 24 Sep 2024 | One More Day With Niyc Pidgeon | 00:27:46 | |
Order your copy of One More Day now at www.onemoredaybook.com
Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation. If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are supporting someone through a difficult time. If you or a loved one is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 for support.
Today I sit down with award-winning Positive Psychologist, Keynote Speaker, Business Mentor, and author Niyc Pidgeon to discuss her new book "One More Day." Niyc shares her personal experiences with suicide, including a childhood suicide attempt and the loss of three close friends to suicide in her 20s.
Niyc and I delve into the impact of social media and online bullying on suicide rates, particularly among young people. We emphasise the importance of fostering genuine connections and support systems, as well as the role of practical, easy-to-implement tools in building resilience and hope.
She encourages listeners to take small steps, reach out to trusted confidants, and use the resources and strategies outlined in her book to support their own mental health and that of their loved ones.
Key topics covered in this episode:
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| 22 Aug 2023 | Borderline Personality Disorder Versus Complex PTSD | 00:25:43 | |
Incorrect diagnoses lead to incorrect treatments. This worries me because I often see individuals who've endured narcissistic abuse being wrongly labelled with Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, I'll talk about how experts diagnose personality disorders and explain why there's a frequent mix-up, causing those with Complex PTSD to be misdiagnosed. What you will learn in this episode:
We need to get curious about what you’re going through. Remember, trauma doesn't have to define your life forever. However, if misdiagnosed, you might receive the wrong treatment. I'll explain why misdiagnoses happen and offer insights on how to guide your healing journey towards the right path. Resources:
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| 20 Aug 2024 | Reactive Abuse By The Narcissist To Make You Look Crazy | 00:13:49 | |
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
In this episode, I explore the concept of reactive abuse - how narcissists can provoke their partners to react in ways that make the partner appear to be the abuser, when in fact they are the victim of the narcissist's manipulation.
I also discuss the feeling of not recognising oneself due to the changes in behaviour brought about by being in a relationship with a narcissist. I explain the dynamics of reactive abuse and provide guidance on how to navigate this challenging situation safely.
In this episode, we will explore:
Resources:
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| 11 Aug 2020 | Covert Narcissist - The Most Dangerous Type | 00:19:48 | |
When we talk about narcissism, we talk about the two main categories of narcissists - overt and covert narcissists. You know that person who walks into the room, has a sense of grandiosity and commands the attention? That’s an overt narcissist. But today I want to focus on the other type, the covert narcissist, and why I believe it’s the most dangerous type of narcissists. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
So let me know - do you have a covert narcissist in your life? Can you relate to anything that I've covered in this episode? Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse | |||
| 24 May 2022 | Sex, Porn & the Narcissist | 00:21:41 | |
There is a correlation between the consumption of pornography, watching sex, and engaging in sex with narcissistic personality types. So, in this episode, I discuss how these habits can impact a relationship and what you can do to ensure you don’t become manipulated by a narcissist's desires. What you will learn in this episode:
I explore how porn addiction can lead to a narcissist gaslighting you, why you may be forced to loosen your boundaries because of your involuntary survival responses, and how porn soothes a narcissist's inner wounds. I hope this episode helps you realise what your narcissistic partner is doing so that you can plan toward a healthy exit strategy. Resources:
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| 11 Jun 2024 | Sound Sensitivity, Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:16:13 | |
Join the waitlist for my Safe and Sound Protocol program: https://carolinestrawson.com/ssp-waitlist
Do you ever find yourself unable to enjoy the music you once loved or find that your ears are particularly sensitive to loud noises?
You're not alone. This can be a common experience for those who have endured significant stress or trauma. In my case, I experienced this first-hand during my marriage to my ex-husband, who was a covert narcissist.
Over time, I developed a heightened sensitivity to sound. If someone dropped something near me, I wouldn't just startle like most people; I would jump out of my skin. This extreme response is a common consequence of narcissistic abuse and trauma.
In this episode, we will explore:
Podcast Resources:
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| 21 Sep 2021 | What Exactly Is A Narcissist? | 00:11:38 | |
Today, I want to talk about a subject that divides the trauma, counselling, and psychology world: the label of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). I'll share my opinion on the challenges and dangers of labelling NPD. We’ll talk about and compare three different approaches - the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the Internal Family System approach, and my own, Narcissistic Trauma Informed approach. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why I consider over 35 traits in order to recognise NPD and not only 9 like the DSM - Why labelling and medicalising NPD almost feels like excusing the narcissistic behaviour - Why we consider narcissistic traits as an umbrella protecting self-worthiness wounds In many cases of narcissistic abuse, I've witnessed how the victims tend to see narcissistic abuse as a reflection of them. What happens is that when we have self-worthiness wounds from our childhood, we believe the narcissist "is right" abusing us because we see ourselves as unworthy or unlovable. That is why I love to share this knowledge, because we must know that the abuse is happening TO US, not because of us. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
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| 14 Feb 2023 | Valentines Day Tactics By A Narcissist | 00:17:51 | |
So today is Valentine's Day, and unfortunately, this can be a difficult day for those who have suffered from narcissistic abuse. While this day is meant to celebrate love, a narcissist can use it as a tool to hurt and manipulate. In this episode, I'll share strategies to help you manage the emotions you may experience on valentines day, advice on healing post-narcissistic trauma, and ways to love yourself on this special day. Also, you may have noticed a slight change in the podcast title. I have decided to include the word "abuse" in the title of the podcast again since it cannot be changed that we have suffered abuse. However, we can work on healing from the trauma caused by the abuse. By acknowledging that we have been abused and not shying away from that word, we can make progress in our trauma recovery. What you will learn in this episode:
On these special days of the year, such as valentines day, the narcissist can disappear, and this happened to me. I’ll share my story of how my partner disappeared before we were supposed to go on an exciting camping trip with my children. I’ll discuss how my ex used this opportunity to ruin a holiday to exert control over me and my children, and how you can avoid the same thing happening to you. On Valentine’s day especially, believing that you are lovable can be difficult, but it is important to remember how special and unique you are. So today I want you to practice self-care and do something that makes you feel good. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself, and show yourself some kindness. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you deserve to be celebrated on this special day. Resources:
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| 17 Sep 2024 | Misogyny, Personal Attacks and Narcissistic Abuse | 00:15:12 | |
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
In this episode, I share a deep conversation I had with my children while on holiday, discussing how to navigate online bullies and trolls, especially in the wake of my recent media appearances discussing narcissistic abuse. I talk about the overwhelmingly positive response I received after being featured on the popular UK daytime TV show This Morning, where I was finally able to bring the topic of narcissistic abuse into the mainstream.
I reflect on the importance of being a positive role model for our children, particularly when it comes to navigating the challenges of social media and online bullying. Remember that your worth is not defined by your appearance or any other external factors, and that we must stay strong in our mission to shine a light on the realities of narcissistic abuse.
Key topics covered in this episode:
Resources:
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| 10 Aug 2021 | How Can I Heal from Narcissistic Abuse? | 00:15:03 | |
Today's episode is about empowerment. We will learn that the power to heal from narcissistic abuse is within ourselves. We will analyse and understand why we hand over our strength and energy to the narcissist by seeking external validation, and looking for an answer outside of us. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The three main characteristics that make my approach to narcissistic trauma recovery different - Why we give our power away by looking for external validation - What we need to know to understand that the power to heal from narcissistic abuse is within ourselves Although we might feel that trauma is the narcissist, it is not. Trauma is what we hold in our bodies, and what we say to ourselves about what happened. Getting curious about that will help us understand why we feel a certain way around narcissists, which could be the first step into our trauma recovery journey. Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 18 Jan 2022 | Is Depression a Symptom of Narcissistic Abuse? | 00:22:07 | |
In this episode, we will talk about depression and narcissistic abuse. Although there is some controversy around whether narcissistic abuse causes depression or not, once depression is identified in the victims of narcissistic abuse, that is not really relevant from a trauma-informed perspective. The focus should be on the origin of that depression and on the protector parts that show up. Today, I'll be sharing my experiences with depression during my marriage with my ex-husband, how I identified depression as a protector part for me and what it was trying to protect me from. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How being diagnosed with postnatal depression affected me and the way I saw myself - What role my own stories of not feeling good enough had in my decision to stay in an abusive relationship - Why I now know that depression was acting as a protector part - The importance of getting curious about the origin of our protector parts In my case, it wasn't that my ex-husband abuse was making me feel depressed. The core wound that stepped up for me, my "depression protector part", was protecting me from what my system considered the bigger danger at the time. So my invitation for you is, instead of trying to minimise depression symptoms, to get curious about its origin and its root cause. Resources: - Episode 079 15 Gaslighting Terms A Narcissist Will Use https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/079-15-gaslighting-terms-a-narcissist-will-use/id1527479270 - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ | |||
| 13 Oct 2020 | The Physical Effects of Narcissistic Abuse | 00:19:46 | |
We rarely talk about the illness and disease that come from being in a narcissistic relationship. Today I want to talk about the physical effects of the trauma of narcissistic abuse, about why that might happen, and I want to potentially give you some hope. What you will learn in this episode:
A lot of the physical conditions that you have might be your body’s response to stress and trauma. I want you to get to know your body, your history, your timeline of events, and see if there's actually a root cause to whatever physical stress related illness you have. Resources:
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| 03 Oct 2023 | Does The Narcissist In Your Life Ruin Special Occasions? | 00:15:53 | |
Do you ever notice that whenever there's a special event in your life, like Christmas, a birthday, or an anniversary, there's always someone who seems to spoil the celebration? This behaviour is often associated with narcissism. In this episode, I’ll explore why narcissists often disrupt special occasions, how to identify the warning signs, and I’ll share tips on how to navigate these moments. What you will learn in this episode:
This individual might not only be your partner; it could be a family member like a father, mother, brother, or sister. Their presence can make special events challenging. Therefore, my goal for this episode is to assist you in handling these significant occasions and upcoming holidays with a clear plan of action. Resources:
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| 05 Dec 2023 | The Pain Of No One Rescuing You After Narcissistic Abuse | 00:18:05 | |
It’s time to take ownership of our happiness. It took me a long time to realise that to feel happy and to love myself was completely my responsibility. We cannot and should not look externally for others to make ourselves feel worthy. It’s a hard realisation, but it can immediately change your outlook on the world and bring happiness to you, as you’re no longer waiting around for something to change, you can make the change immediately. What you will learn in this episode:
In this episode, I’ll share how I discovered this realisation of self-worth and how you can integrate the mindset of inner happiness into your healing journey. There will be days when you feel bad and won’t want to do anything, but your reaction to those days is how you heal. Instead of letting those days put you into a downward spiral, use them as a day to reflect and understand that to have more positive days, it’s your responsibility to make a change. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Podcast Resources:
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| 08 Sep 2020 | The Trauma Bond & Addiction To The Narcissist | 00:16:52 | |
I get messaged many times about the fact that people just can't break that addiction to the narcissist even if they know that it isn't the right thing for them to keep on messaging or emailing the narcissist in their life. We actually call this a trauma bond, and in this episode I explain exactly what it is. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Remember where you are right now with creating those neuropeptides, because that’s what we are addicted to. In order to break the addiction to the narcissist, we've got to calm that nervous system, so that we can create a space for you to start to heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Resources:
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| 15 Dec 2020 | The Cheating Narcissist | 00:22:28 | |
Today I talk about cheating narcissists, the reasons behind cheating, and what it is that narcissists pursue by doing it. We also cover narcissists' strong protective parts, how codependents in a relationship trigger cheating behaviours, and the difference between healthy and narcissistic abusive relationships. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When we are cheated on, we tend to think it is our fault, that we are not good enough, not worthy. But when a narcissistic partner cheats on us, it’s not about us, but about their wounded younger parts, and their need to feel that sense of grandiosity. Resources:
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| 31 Jan 2023 | Chronic Pain & Narcissistic Abuse | 00:15:12 | |
If you're experiencing physical pain, chronic illness, or fatigue, and you've suffered from narcissistic abuse, it's possible that your trauma is the root cause of these physical symptoms. In this episode, I'll discuss the connection between abuse and physical reactions, including how even mental abuse can lead to physical pain. Many individuals view chronic illness and narcissistic abuse as separate entities, but they often go hand in hand. To fully heal from chronic illness, it's necessary to address and heal from the narcissistic abuse as well. What you will learn in this episode:
I have observed a strong link between narcissistic abuse and chronic illness not only in the communities I serve but also in my own family. I'll share my mother's story of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and her lifelong struggle with it, and how I've come to understand that her arthritis was her body's way of protecting her from the inner pain caused by childhood abuse. I'll also delve into the connection between abuse and physical ailments such as alopecia, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and IBS, and how cortisol can contribute to the development of these conditions. Resources:
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| 10 Jan 2023 | How Narcissistic Abuse Affects Getting Started In 2023 | 00:19:47 | |
At this time of year, it's common to feel discouraged if we haven't made progress on our goals. Even though we may want to take action, something within us may be holding us back. In this episode, we'll explore the internal barriers that prevent us from reaching our goals and provide strategies for overcoming them and building momentum. What you will learn in this episode:
Ten years ago, I was trapped in narcissistic abuse and felt like there was no way out. But now, I know that it's possible to have an amazing life after recovery. One of the things that helped me get on the path to recovery was learning to listen to my mind and body. We all have different parts of ourselves - some that want to stay in, others that want to go out. Some parts that make us feel disgusted with ourselves and others that love us. It's important to understand why we have these different parts of ourselves, because even the "bad" parts are there with loving intent. In this episode, I'll share how to read the "bad" parts and see how they're trying to protect you, as well as how to make sure the "good" parts are with you more often. Resources:
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