"Modern Relationships" (Erik Torenberg, Turpentine)

Introducing "Modern Relationships" a podcast about how people in tech actually make relationships work. Preview from episode 1 with Delian Asparouhov (Founders Fund, Varda Space Technology) and Nadia Asparouhova (author), interviewed by Erik Torenberg

We rarely get to hear how high-powered tech couples actually make relationships work. In this remarkably candid conversation, Delian Asparouhov (Founders Fund partner and Co-Founder of Varda Space Industries) and author Nadia Asparouhov pull back the curtain on their unique approach to love and commitment. From their memorable first date featuring frantically-eaten burrata to building a space company while starting a family, they share how they've figured out what really matters - and why sometimes the best relationship advice is to talk less, not more. Together with Erik Torenberg, they dig into everything from their unconventional take on conflict resolution to what it's actually like balancing a growing family with ambitious work in tech. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- 🙏 Help shape our show by taking our quick listener survey at https://bit.ly/TurpentinePulse -- Follow on X: Nadia - @nayafia Delian - @zebulgar Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine Podcasts - @turpentinemedia -- Links: Nadia's writing: https://nadia.xyz/ Delian's site: https://delian.io/ Erik's substack: https://eriktorenberg.substack.com/ -- Timestamps: (00:00) Preview and Intro (00:46) Origin of Modern Relationships (01:48) "Make marriages great again" (02:59) Fighting about the Eight Sleep mattress (06:27) Handling unvoiced feelings (10:05) Prison metaphor (10:47) Early stages of the relationship (14:03) First date and first impressions (15:58) The burrata incident (20:54) Ranking relationship priorities (22:59) Finding the sweet spot in a relationship (27:10) Communication and commitment (32:46) Parenthood drudgery (37:09) Debating young parenthood (42:37) Having children (49:32) Building 'an aristocracy' (54:20) Balancing identity and motherhood (56:05) Growing together through changes (58:11) Tough guy cries at space movies (58:41) Wrap

Liv Boeree (former poker champion, host of the Win-Win podcast) and Igor Kurganov (poker pro, co-founder of Raising for Effective Giving) have been together for 10 years. They're masters of creative conflict, inventors of the "hiss method," and champions of rational decision-making in relationships. In this candid episode, they share their unconventional wisdom and strategies for building lasting partnerships. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero  It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- Follow on X: Liv - @Liv_Boeree Igor - @IgorKurganov Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia -- Links: The Win-Win Podcast: https://winwinpodcast.com/ The Passion Trap: https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Trap-Right-Unbalanced-Relationship/dp/1587361086 Erik's substack: https://eriktorenberg.substack.com/ -- Timestamps: (00:00) Intro and Preview (02:21) How Liv and Igor Met (06:04) Advice on Finding a Partner (09:13) Friend Zone and Attraction (13:02) Evolving Preferences (15:03) Sponsor: Relationship Hero (18:57) "Dumbbell Theory" (25:43) The "Hiss" Signal (27:53) Communication and Directness (29:43) Relationship Rituals (31:11) Variety and Self-Actualization (33:16) The Passion Trap (36:16) Thoughts on Children (45:07) Longevity and Evolution (47:57) Early Relationship Patterns (50:17) Tone Policing (51:47) Empowering Each Other (53:34) Love Enables Choice (57:16) Igor's Greatest Gift (1:04:03) Identifying the Wrong Match (1:06:14) The Future of Their Relationship (1:07:54) Wrap

In this week's episode, Phil Levin and Kristen Berman share the ultimate friend zone to romance success story. What started with running quirky social experiments together (like turning a bar into a controlled study on meeting people) blossomed into a relationship that defies convention. Now this behavioral scientist and founder (Live Near Friends) runs a "friend compound" in Oakland, applies data to life's biggest decisions, and proves that sometimes the best relationships start knowing it "would be too good." Kristen and Phil share how they've built an unconventional but deeply fulfilling life together. Instead of trying to change each other, they focus on designing their environment for success. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- 🙏 Help shape our show by taking our quick listener survey at https://bit.ly/TurpentinePulse -- Follow on X: Kristen - @bermster Phil - @levin_phil Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia -- Links: Kristen: https://irrationallabs.com/ Phil: https://livenearfriends.com/ Erik's substack: https://eriktorenberg.substack.com/ -- Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (01:34) Relationship Differences & Learnings (01:53) Partner Selection: Starting as Friends (03:52) Navigating Attraction and Friendships (05:30) Initial Connection and the "Mental Band" (06:26) Key Lessons on Partner Selection (09:16) Core Personality Traits and Acceptance (10:04) Shared Values and Co-Living Vision (14:16) Co-Living and Community Life (18:28) Tradeoffs of Community Living (19:13) Converting Friends & Attraction (20:54) Chemistry and Early Relationship Stages (21:44) Fighting and Disagreements (24:28) Managing Conflict (25:11) The Importance of a Good Partner (26:53) Decisions Around Having Children (30:07) Stress and Decision-Making Structures (31:55) Careers as a Couple & Childcare (38:39) Unique Fights & Rituals for Forgiveness (40:46) Lessons from Dan Ariely (42:45) Behavior Change and Life Design (49:25) "Thieves" Friendship Hack (50:23) Vision for the Future (56:12) Career Priorities (57:53) Taboo Topics and Memorable Conversations (1:00:00) Baby Number Two (1:00:39) Wrap