Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship (Jay Holland and Christian Parenting)

Technology is an ever-present entity in our lives and sometimes we can become scared of it, but there are also several wonderful things made possible by it. This new series tackles various aspects of technology and how it navigate through it with your family.

Show Highlights

Scott Pleasants is currently the Strategic Innovations Advisor for Innovate Lynchburg where he is responsible for helping businesses with technology and helping tech-based entrepreneurs with their go-to-market strategies.

Before being named SAI, Scott was the CIO for TRBC World-wide and the Director of Engineering Technology and Operations for the Liberty University School of Engineering and Computational Sciences.

Even if Scott is a tech guy and his family is inevitably hooked on their own gadgets, they still make it a point to put their technology down and spend time together, take a hike, or enjoy sometime unplugged – "and not make it the center of our lives," says Scott.

That said, Scott says, technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it. In fact, we can do major good with the technology we have.

Technology and platforms should be tools for you to use. You should not be a slave to it. Empower your kids to use these platforms for good using these tools.

Scott suggests not allowing kids to have technology in their own rooms. Make sure that the technology is in a common area and there are no secrets.

Encourage a healthy use of technology. Let your kids know that they are not being given restrictions because you are treating them like children. They should understand that these precautions are meant to protect them and it is for the whole family's safety.

Technology can be dangerous, so as parents, really sit down with your family and have a serious conversation about how you are going to use technology. Ask you kids, how can you do good with the technology that you have?

[bctt tweet="technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it." username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

• Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers
• Service: Apple Family Sharing
• DNS Filtering - blocks malicious or forbidden websites
• App: Bark - parental control tool
• App: Circle - parental control tool
• Sophos - cybersecurity
• Life 360 - family safety service

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Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

Seven years after his initial diagnosis for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia,my son Elijah has relapsed. In this episode I share the details of how we found out, an explanation of leukemia and treatment, as well as the potential road ahead for our family. I also share the very real emotions we are struggling through, how God had spiritually prepared me through scripture, and how our family is seeking to help Elijah see this crisis as an open door for the work of Jesus. In hearing our story, by God’s grace you will see how God also wants you to look for the open door for Jesus in the midst of your crisis.

Losing a Child isn’t the Last Word with Diana Grounds: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lets-parent-on-purpose-with-jay-holland/id1190973394?i=1000502221159

Finding a Mission in the Midst of Chemotherapy with Elijah Holland: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/235-finding-a-mission-in-the-midst-of/id1190973394?i=1000529205324

Elijah’s No Longer Orphans Chemo Challenge: https://www.flipcause.com/secure/cause_pdetails/MTI0MTIzSponsor

One of the most common conversations I have is helping parents determine what to do when their child doesn’t want to come to church. The reasons are as varied as the child, and we want to make sure we understand why they might hate church before we jump to our response. Today I go through many different reasons why our children might not like church, as well as several possible solutions for you to encourage their love of the church and enjoyment of the services.

Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y 

In a culture inflamed by racial tensions, how can parents teach children a healthy perspective on race and culture? Author Michelle Sanchez joins me today for a discussion on the gospel vision of a diverse, multiethnic community. We talk about how backgrounds and personal experiences can form our racial prejudices. Michelle also shares biblical, Christ-honoring ways for a parent or church to pursue healthy, diverse racial relationships. 

Michelle T. Sanchez, MDiv, ThM, is the senior discipleship and evangelism leader of the Evangelical Covenant Church, a vibrant multiethnic denomination of more than 900 congregations. Michelle completed seminary degrees at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and spiritual direction training at Boston College. She is a conference speaker and a columnist with Outreach magazine. Michelle has enjoyed engaging with colorful cultures in over thirty countries and territories around the world. She and her husband, Mickey, live with their children in the Chicago area.

Michelle has written a trilogy of books on color-courageous discipleship centered on the healing power of the gospel of Christ.  

Resources Mentioned: 

Michelle’s Website https://michelletsanchez.com

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Today we are celebrating episode 300 of Let’s Parent on Purpose! I am joined today by both of my sons, Elijah and Micah Holland. The boys share what it was like to go through leukemia, relapse, and then bone marrow transplant together. We talk about worries, struggles, and the picture of Christ we find in bone marrow transplant. Additionally I share about the future of Let’s Parent on Purpose, including the beginning of the 127 Project to grow the outreach of Let’s Parent on Purpose and to take care of orphans. On this day of celebration, I want to say a big Thank You to every listener, supporter, and guest I’ve spent time with in the last 300 episodes. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and we are all better with intentional investment in our marriage, parenting, and walk with Jesus. Thanks for sticking around for the first 300, I look forward to the next 300!

Elijah and Micah Holland are the sons of Jay and Emily Holland. In 2014 Elijah was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. After 3.5 years of treatment and 4 years off of chemo, Elijah relapsed in September of 2021. By God’s grace, his brother (and bunkmate) Micah was a Perfect Sibling Match as a bone marrow donor. In the spring of 2022, Micah gave over one liter of his bone marrow to save his brother’s life. Today both boys are healthy and thriving as they catch up on school, play in the church band together, and try to avoid emptying the dishwasher and cleaning their room.

Resources Mentioned:

LPOP 1 It’s a Marathon - https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2016/12/30/lpop-1-its-a-marathon/

Episode 235 Finding a Mission in Chemotherapy with Elijah Holland: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2016/12/30/lpop-1-its-a-marathon/

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Our lives are shot through with sacred purpose even when, especially when, we are too busy or too caught up in our busyness to notice. Jay’s guest Douglas McKelvey has spent the last several years penning beautiful prayers to help us bring Christ into the mundane parts of our lives. As Jay and Douglas discuss the Every Moment Holy series, you’ll discover how your life is already full of liturgy whether you realize it or not. Liturgy shapes us. Let’s be intentional about our rhythms and prayers!

Bio

Douglas Kaine McKelvey is an author, song lyricist, scriptwriter, and video director. He has penned more than 350 lyrics recorded by artists such as Switchfoot, Kenny Rogers, Sanctus Real, and Jason Gray. Doug and Lise McKelvey, the parents of three young adults, live near Nashville, TN.

Resources mentioned:

http://everymomentholy.com/

To download the Every Moment Holy app: https://www.everymomentholy.com/app

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

The pornography industry makes more money than the NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL combined. Porn is hunting for every member of our family, and the effects on the body of Christ are devastating. There is no greater obstacle we face when it comes to discipleship, spiritual leadership, relational and spiritual health than the enslavement of porn addiction. Today Ted Shimer joins me to talk about the grim realities happening in our families. He then shares the hope that comes when combining spiritual principles with brain science to bring men, women, and our children lasting freedom from the grip of pornography.

Bio:

Ted Shimer has mentored men since 1991 with the collegiate ministry Student Mobilization. He received his MABS from Dallas Seminary and has been trained as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional-Supervisor. Ted has helped people overcome the bondage of pornography in the context of making disciples. He is the Founder of The Freedom Fight, an online porn addiction recovery program. He is also the author of the book, The Freedom Fight, The New Drug and the Truths that Set Us Free. Ted and his wife Amber have four adult children and live in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Resources Mentioned:

www.thefreedomfight.org

The Freedom Fight: The New Drug and the Truth that Sets us Free 

The Freedom Fight 30 Day Challenge to break free from Pornography 

Freedom From Porn Begins Here: YouVersion Bible 30 Day Devotional Plan 

Covenant Eyes: Accountability and Internet Filter

Canopy Parental Controls 

Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email

It can often feel like our teenagers hear the exact opposite message from what we intend. Teens are likewise frustrated that their parents don’t understand them. Jay shares insights that can help you bridge the gap with your teen and enhance true communication. We don’t want to just exchange words, we want to understand and be understood. 

Our discussion includes:

The importance of seeking the Lord in prayer for wisdom and understanding.

How teens are hypocrisy radars and why this will shut down their ability to hear what you are saying.

Limiting inputs in their life that are increasing insecurities.

Learning to be consistent in affirming elements our teens can control. 

The power of paper notes and text emojis.

An encouragement to give the Lord time to do his work in each of our lives.

Resources mentioned:

Communicating With A Teenager

If you like this check out the first episode of my Communication And Conflict Series: Know Your Enemy

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Whether you like it or not, your child probably loves video games. When we as parents act like video games are a curse, we often miss a key opportunity with our children. My guest Drew Dixon shares the wonder of video games including creativity, connection, and play. We talk about the gospel opportunities to discuss worldview with your children as they play video games, as well as equipping them to be on mission with their friends and contacts through social gaming. Finally, Drew and I discuss our responsibility to set safeguards and parameters with our children as they engage in gaming. Drew helps us see how important it is for our rules to be clear, collaborative, and written down.

Drew Dixon is a team leader at Lifeway Christian resources, co-founder and Chief Content Nerd of Love Thy Nerd, public speaker, co-host of Humans of Gaming, editor, author, and has traveled all over the world to spread the Gospel at nerd conventions. His new book Know Thy Gamer was released in September 2022.

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 297 Equipping our children for conversations on sexuality and gender identity with Sean McDowell

Drew’s new book Know Thy Gamer: https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/know-thy-gamer-P005835794

ESRB.org for ratings of video games

commonsensemedia.org  for expert and parental reviews of games

twitch.tv to watch people play video games and evaluate if they are appropriate for your children

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

One of the most common questions for a follower of Jesus is “How do I know God’s will for my life?” Often, these questions revolve around a few major decisions, such as where should I go to school, what should I do for a job, and who should I marry?  As we continue our series “Knowing and Doing God’s Will”, Jay lays out the Path of Wisdom for how to determine God’s will for your life, including what one should do if God’s will is not clear. 

Relying heavily on guidance from the book “Decision Making and the Will of God” by Garry Freisen and J. Robin Maxson, Jay outlines a Path of Wisdom for decision making that will serve every believer in every circumstance. Ultimately summed up in the phrase “love God and do what you will,” Jay explains the following principles:

• Where God commands, we must obey

• Where there is no command, God gives us freedom (and responsibility) to choose

• Where there is no command, God gives us wisdom to choose

• When we choose wisely, we trust the Lord to work out the details

Resources mentioned:

Decision Making and the Will of God https://amzn.to/3otDepG

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

As a Division 1 college soccer player, Craig Hettlinger was living many young men’s dream. A fateful decision to partake in a controlled substance after a win started a 16-year collapse into addiction and destruction.  

Craig shares his story of addiction, failed attempts at sobriety, and his ultimate recovery and deliverance through God’s power. Craig now lives out his mission for Jesus by running recovery houses in Huntington, WV, the Ground Zero for the opioid epidemic. Craig’s raw, honest recounting of his life journey will encourage families who are suffering through long term addiction in their own households. 

Bio

Craig Hettlinger is the CEO of HAWC Recovery in Huntington WV. He is also the author of That Ain’t No Mountain For a Climber - a heartfelt firsthand account of overcoming drug addiction. 

Resources mentioned:

• www.hawcrecovery.com
• Craig’s book: That Ain’t No Mountain for a Climber: http://hawcrecovery.com/media.html
• The Freedom Fight: The New Drug and the Truths That Set Us Free: https://amzn.to/3OJTD27
• Support Let’s Parent on Purpose through your Tax-Deductible Giving
• Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!
  

Connect with Jay:

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@letsparentonpurpose
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose
• Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

There are currently six adult generations living and working together in the United States! Today Jay is joined by Dr. Jean M. Twenge, author of the brand new book Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents – and What They Mean for America’s Future. Dr. Twenge brings insights from analyzing over 38 million people from 21 different datasets to share how technology is the driving factor for the great differences between generations. 

As we consider the radically different world our parents and grandparents grew up in, Dr. Twenge also gives advice to parents on how to best set their own children up to avoid the higher rates of depression, anxiety, and isolation so common in the youngest generation. 

Jean Twenge has spent her entire academic career – 30 years – studying generational differences, and this book, Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents – and What They Mean for America’s Future (978-1-9821-8161-1, April 25, 2023), is her magnum opus.  Its analysis is derived from 21 huge datasets   that go back to the 1940s and are as recent as this year, spanning some 38 million people.  Jean is the gold standard in decoding and unpacking massive data sets. 

Resources mentioned:

http://www.jeantwenge.com

Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents—and What They Mean for America's Future: https://amzn.to/3GZ4emV

https://twitter.com/jean_twenge

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

This is last episode in a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Conflict increases when there is no compelling purpose or mission. Today we begin to re-vision your family as a multigenerational team on mission for the Lord. I share a couple actionable steps for helping your family discover your identity, mission, and strategy.

Key Points:

1. Our culture looks at families as springboards for individual success. We need to begin to view our family as a multigenerational team on mission.

2. Generations are not stuck. It only takes one generation in a family to turn to Jesus to start a new legacy.

3. A team needs an identity, a purpose, and a strategy.

4. To shape your family identity, develop a family mission statement.

• As an example, here’s my family’s mission statement: God has blessed us with relationships, resources, and responsibility. We will use our gifts to enjoy life with Jesus and one another, and to heal a broken world through the love of Christ.

5. A simple strategy for your family to begin living on mission: start a weekly multigenerational meal.

6. Your new vision for family can help cure the disease of more and be the greatest force of discipleship in your household! Discussion Questions with your family after listening:

1. What was the most important thing you heard from this episode?

2. What do you think of the idea of your family being a multigenerational team on mission for Jesus?

3. How has God uniquely blessed your family in ways that could be a blessing to others? What are your treasures in relationships and resources?

4. Who are family members outside of your current household that you could pull in to your family team on mission? 5. Who are people in your life in need of a spiritual family that you could pull in to your team and mission?

6. Start to brainstorm what you would want to include in a family mission statement. How has God blessed you and what are specific ways you want your family to serve Jesus for decades if the Lord doesn’t return in your lifetime?

7. Could you start a weekly multigenerational meal? What night of the week would work best? Who could you invite? What are some things that would help make this night meaningful. For example - the Holland Family try’s to have a role for ever member of the meal, from lighting candles to sharing scripture to prayers of blessing. Over the meal we share our weekly highs and lows as well as something we are learning. What night of the week would work most consistently for you to have it?

8. When are you going to have your first multigenerational meal?

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Episode 280: https://www.christianparenting.org/podcasts-post/communication-and-conflict-part-2-refilling-the-love-bank/#cp-podcast-enc-container

Episode 281: https://www.christianparenting.org/podcasts-post/communication-and-conflict-part-2-refilling-the-love-bank/

Episode 282: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-282-communication-and-conflict-part-3-retooling/id1190973394?i=1000567017578

To explore this concept further check out my episode Your Family as a Team with Jeremy Pryor

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2021/06/13/ your-family-as-a-team-with-jeremy-pryor/

In this episode, Jay Holland reflects on the challenges of parenting in the digital age, particularly focusing on the alarming rise in mental health issues among children and teenagers. He discusses insights from Jonathan Haidt's book, 'The Anxious Generation,' which explores the impact of technology and social media on childhood development. Holland emphasizes the need for unstructured play and offers practical solutions for parents to mitigate the negative effects of digital exposure on their children.

Takeaways

• The 21st century has faced significant challenges, including 9/11 and COVID-19.

• Mental health issues among youth have dramatically increased since 2010.

• The rise of smartphones and social media correlates with increased anxiety and depression.

• Children today experience childhood differently than previous generations.

• Unstructured play is crucial for healthy childhood development.

• Parents are giving children more freedom in the digital world and less in the real world.

• Social media can create false perceptions of reality, impacting self-esteem.

• Delaying social media access can benefit children's mental health.

• Cultural remedies include increasing unstructured play and limiting digital exposure.

• Parenting in the digital age requires wisdom and proactive measures.

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Resources mentioned:

The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot

Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Revisiting one of my favorite early episodes, I lay out principles that will help you win the hearts of your family and influence the culture of your home. Based on principles form Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, I share three principles that can help lower defensiveness and increase the willingness of each member of your household to do their best for one another. When it’s all said and done, these principles are nothing more than an exposition of the golden rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. 

At some point every single one of us is going to experience a Category 5 crisis in our life. When our worst fears are realized, we face the challenge of processing what we believe about God. We also need to figure out what to do next. Today I revisit one of my early LPOP topics, sparked by our preparation for a potential Category 5 hurricane pointed at our town. I now consider the words I wrote in light of our family’s current crisis, the relapse of my son’s leukemia. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y
• My Blog: What if it’s a Category 5 

It’s a challenge to balance boundaries and freedom, adventure and responsibility when raising a boy. My guest Monica Swanson shares here experience of raising boys who are sensitive to the things of Jesus while still being strong and capable in the face of the world’s trials. She gives examples of success and failures in her process as well as her insight into creating a “character training course” for her son when he needed extra focus.

Monica Swanson is the author of the Boy Mom book and a blogger at monicaswanson.com. She shares encouragement and inspiration for raising boys in today's world. Monica shares practical advice and biblical wisdom through honest conversations, interviews with other boy moms, and light-hearted humor.

Resources Mentioned:

www.monicaswanson.com

The Boy Mom Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-boy-mom-podcast-withmonica-swanson-and-friends/id1468061855

Boy Mom- What Your Son Needs Most From You - https://amzn.to/3H3d7t2

Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y

Jesus calls us to make disciples, and the first disciples we should seek to make are the members of our own household. Rene Christensen has over 24 years of obeying Jesus’ command with her seven children. Through the years she has gained a wealth of knowledge and experience of how to simplify and normalize discipleship practices that will grow our children’s love of God, love of others, and heart to obey Jesus.

Rene joins Jay to share scriptural and practical tips on discipling our children. As you listen, you will pick up on fun and easy practices you will want to make a part of your own household rhythm. 

Jay and Rene discuss:

• The biblical command to disciple our households from Deuteronomy 6

• Instilling scripture in our children’s hearts through song.

• Establishing a daily quiet time for each child. 

• Various ways to pray for your family, neighbors, and church.

• Practical acts of service to grow our children’s love for their hurting neighbors.

• Practices to point to Jesus’ command to love one another to resolve family disputes.

Rene Christensen is an author and speaker (formerly Budget Saving Mom) whose passion is to help Christians disciple others, have a biblical worldview, and become biblically literate. She and her husband Eric are the parents of 7 kids ages 4-24 years old. Her new book Training Them Wisely - Discipling Kids is available on amazon.com. 

Resources mentioned:

www.trainingthemwisely.com

Training Them Wisely with Rene Christensen: https://amzn.to/3lPK5Z8

Hide ‘Em In Your Heart Bible Memory Melodies: https://open.spotify.com/album/58kaa7tWGiebuNc1f4KjzR?si=S-ng1XWZSCCEqMoO-NjzhQ

Seeds Family Worship: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5kV2pC0biCYFh3y9HxgNkS?si=4wHGS2ZEQk-K_S6VNV7Edg

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Where the Bible is clear about God’s will, we must obey. But what about the thousands of choices we have in life where there doesn’t seem to be specific clarity in God’s Word? Do we pause and wait to hear the voice of the Lord? What about the people who seem to constantly say “God told me this?” Are we not walking with Jesus because we don’t have a steady stream of “God told me this?”  

As we continue our series Knowing and Doing God’s Will, Jay highlights the many tools God has given us to make wise choices in areas where there are not specific commands from the Lord in Scripture. Borrowing the wisdom of Gary Freison and his book “Decision Making and the Will of God”, Jay walk through the different gifts God has given us that can serve as guideposts for decision making.

 

Listen as Jay shares how we can make wise decisions using

• The Bible

• An Open or Closed Door

• Mature Council

• A Fleece

• Inner Peace or Tension

• An alignment of passion, skills, and opportunity

• Common Sense

With these gifts, God has given us plenty of resources to make healthy, wise, God-honoring decisions every day of our lives.

Resources mentioned:

The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz https://amzn.to/45qZ8ub

The Seven Checkpoints for Youth Leaders by Andy Stanley: https://amzn.to/3ICSfw1

Decision Making and the Will of God https://amzn.to/3otDepG

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

The teenage years are a time of radical change. But it’s not just our teenagers who must go through change. Parenting styles and roles rapidly evolve as our children move closer to adulthood. In this episode I discuss three different types of parenting styles. We review why the drill sergeant and the helicopter parent fail to prepare our teens for adulthood. Instead, we should aim to become consultants that empower our teens with greater responsibility and ownership of their actions. If this topic is helpful to you, I highly recommend you check out Parenting Teens with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

I discussed this topic in more detail in a very early episode of Let’s Parent on Purpose: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2017/02/20/lpop-9-whatsyour-parenting-style/

Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood: https://amzn.to/3xi6uA8

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/

Youth sports have become a multibillion dollar business in the United States. In search of the tantalizing promise of a college scholarship, many parents sacrifice years and thousands of dollars to keep their child competitive on sports teams. Even the casual sporting family must make difficult decisions on how much they are willing to commit to sports or other extracurricular activities. In this episode Jay walks parents through a list of questions to help them determine the level of involvement their family is willing to invest in ever consuming culture. 

Questions to ask when considering how involved your family should get in youth sports or other extracurricular activities:

• Why are we wanting to do this?

• • Is this something the child wants or something the parent wants?

  • If it’s something the child wants, does that mean its the best thing?

• What are the short term costs of getting involved in this activity?

• • How much money does it cost to sign up?

  • How much does it costs in equipment or other gear (including shoes)

  • What are the expenses involved per event?

  • • Tickets to watch

    • Travel costs - food, hotel, gas

    • Am I going to require private training or tutoring?

  • How many days and nights a week?

  • What are the things we currently do during those night that we will no longer be able to do?

  • • Rest

    • Homework

    • Family time

    • Date your spouse

    • Church

• What are the long term costs of getting involved with this sport?

• • Multiply the short term expenses by the number of seasons per year and years of potential play

  • What kinds of sacrifices are you and your family going to have to make to stay committed at this level?

  • Am I setting my child up for a high likelihood of injury due to repetitive motion in the same sport being played all year?

  • What is the environment of the team and the people involved?

  • How much family or spouse time are you missing?

• What am I communicating to myself, my family, my neighbors, my peers, my children’s peers, my church, and God through my interaction in this activity?

• • Are we a sports family?

  • Are we slaves to our children’s wants?

  • What is sacred in our lives?

  • Who do we serve?

• Am I playing a form of lottery with my child’s educational future?

• • Is my excuse for investing in this activity so heavily that I think they can get a college scholarship?

  • What if I calculated all of my anticipated costs for investing in this sport and put it into a 529 College Savings Plan?

• Jesus says “no one can serve two masters. you can either hate one and love the other or else be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”

• • If someone were to observe our family’s life. Not based on what we SAY but based on what we DO and how we LIVE, who would they conclude that we serve?

• When my child rearing years are done, and the time I had with my children in the home is just a story, what story do I want to tell?

Resources mentioned:

http://thesportdigest.com/2022/06/the-goal-of-youth-sports-is-changing/

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

Over the years, I've had the chance to pray with parents who are in grief over the current spiritual state of their children who have chosen the path of rebellion. My friend, Shane O'Neill gives a powerful testimony of hope after a long season of rebellion and how his parents were a steadfast witness to him as God brought him back to the faith.

Shane O’Neill is the host of The Naked Gospel podcast. He is also the Editorial Director for Proven Ministries, a non-profit, sexual integrity organization that partners with individuals, churches, and organizations to see men, women, and families discover Jesus’ freedom. Shane is currently working on a graduate degree in apologetics at Liberty University’s Rawling School of Divinity.

In this conversation, Jay Holland and Eliza Huey continue to explore the complexities of trauma, its effects on individuals, and the importance of support systems. They discuss the evolution of understanding trauma, the role of God in times of suffering, and how Scripture can provide comfort. The conversation also delves into the concept of post-traumatic growth, emphasizing that trauma can lead to spiritual resilience and deeper faith. They highlight the need for proper trauma care, which includes establishing safety, processing experiences, and integrating them into one's life. Additionally, they address the challenges of information overload in today's world and how it can exacerbate feelings of trauma.

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Bio

Eliza Huie is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) trained in trauma care. She serves as a seminary instructor, facilitating certificate-level training in biblical counseling, and has authored several books, including her latest, Trauma Aware: A Christian’s Guide to Providing Help and Care. Eliza co-hosts Counsel for Life, a podcast about mental health and the Christian life. 

Resources mentioned:

https://www.elizahuie.com/

Trauma Aware: A Christian’s Guide to Providing Help and Care

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the

gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Every year is filled with thousands of decisions. Some of them are inconsequential, while others have life long impact. As I reflect on this past year, today I share with you the three new decisions that greatest impact on my life and family.

Listen as I discuss my top three decisions:

1. Learning how to measure a great day
2. Praying the Psalms with my children
3. Starting a weekly Family Sabbath Dinner

As you hear me describe the impact, you’ll see that these are also choices you can make in your household!

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 278 How to Measure a Good Day

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2022/05/22/how-to-measure-a-good-day/

Episode 279 A Walkthrough of a Family Sabbath Dinner

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2022/05/29/a-walkthrough-of-a-family-sabbath-dinner/

This year our family has been stretched and scattered. We have experienced significant disorientation as we walk through a leukemia relapsed. To combat the disorientation, we are developing a new practice of a Family Sabbath Dinner. After years of toying with the idea, talking about it with others, we are finally doing it. Today I want to walk you through what our Family Sabbath Liturgy looks like. This is my own personal modified version, designed to help take some of the awkwardness out of the meal as well as giving each participant a meaningful role. As you follow along my walkthrough, my prayer is that you realize that you can also do this! Jesus tells us that the Sabbath was made for man, and it’s time we reclaimed this gift as we invite Jesus to the feast!

If you find this compelling, check out the links in “Resources Mentioned” for my Sabbath Liturgy as well as a couple of other versions.

This is the fourth episode in my “Upside Down Insights” series. Birthed out of our bone marrow transplant journey, these are insights God has given me as our world turned upside down.

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

If you like this episode, check out Centering on Christ in the Midst of Chaos with Virgil Tanner: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2022/01/02/ centering-on-christ-in-the-midst-of-chaos-with-virgil-tanner/

Sabbath Dinner Liturgies:

My version: https://www.dropbox.com/s/9ee6x0p95ghl6x1/ Sabbath%20Family%20Liturgy.pdf?dl=0

Virgil Tanner’s Version: https://www.dropbox.com/s/oxzdh5p6b8k2cq3/ Sabbath%20Dinner%20Liturgy.pdf?dl=0

Stovall and Kerrie Weems’ Version: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ oxzdh5p6b8k2cq3/Sabbath%20Dinner%20Liturgy.pdf?dl=0

Nobody wants to get the call from school that your child is the bully and is being expelled. As a parent you are forced to deal with so many complex emotions at once. What is going on with my child? What does this say about me as a parent? How can I trust God through this struggle? Crystal Paine shares her vulnerable story of how bullying by her child opened the door to her transformed relationship with God. 

Guest Bio:

Crystal Paine is the founder of MoneySavingMom.com, host of “The Crystal Paine Show” podcast, New York Times bestselling author of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, and author of MoneyMaking Mom. Her desire is to help women across the globe live with more joy, purpose, and intention in their everyday lives. She lives with her husband and kids in the Nashville, Tennessee area, where she is actively involved in her local church. Crystal’s new book, Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids (Bethany House, March 2021) shares her raw account of how she shifted her parenting focus from performance to unconditional love, and transformed her relationships with God, her husband, and her children in the process.  

Resources Mentioned

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MoneySavingMom

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themoneysavingmom/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/moneysavingmom

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/msmblog/_created/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/moneysavingmom

 Website: https://moneysavingmom.com

Crystal’s New Book - Love-Centered Parenting: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Centered-Parenting-No-Fail-Guide-Launching/dp/0764237225

Sponsor Affiliate:

Become a Supporter of Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/support

Enjoy this sneak peak into the Stories of Hope with Dr. Samuel Thomas Podcast!  Dr. Samuel Thomas of Hopegivers International paints the heartbreaking picture of the life of a street child in India. Without a stable home or a mother and father to care for them, children are forced to scrap, beg, or steal. Many of them are trafficked, forced to take drugs, and work for criminals who keep them addicted and enslaved. Hopegivers works to rescue orphaned, abandoned, and at risk children from circumstances like these. They bring them into Hope Homes where the children are loved, fed, educated, and cared for in the name of Jesus Christ. 

Listen to this episode and then follow the Stories of Hope with Dr. Samuel Thomas podcast to hear the full journey of hope from an unwanted child to a pioneering church planter and pastor. 

Bio

Dr. Samuel Thomas is a pastor and the President of Hopegivers International, a ministry that rescues and redeems at risk and abandoned children in India and Haiti. Hopegivers, founded over 60 years ago by the late Dr. M.A. Thomas, has been used by God to minister to orphans, widows, lepers, and plant schools and churches throughout India and South Asia.

Resources mentioned:

www.hopegivers.org

Stories of Hope with Dr. Samuel Thomas: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stories-of-hope-with-dr-samuel-thomas/id1545599796

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

In this conversation, Jay Holland and Eliza Huey delve into the complexities of trauma, its definitions, and the importance of understanding its impact on individuals and relationships. They discuss the physiological responses to trauma, the significance of being present for those who have experienced trauma, and how caregivers can provide support. Eliza emphasizes the need for compassion and understanding in navigating trauma, highlighting the role of community and interpersonal relationships in the healing process. 

Jay and Eliza also discussed the importance of presence in healing, the role of the nervous system in trauma, and practical techniques for awareness and regulation. They emphasize the significance of being with someone in their pain without trying to fix them, the necessity of understanding bodily responses to trauma, and the power of breathing techniques to help regulate emotions. The discussion also touches on the integration of body, mind, and spirit in the healing process, highlighting the need for a holistic approach to trauma care.

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Bio

Eliza Huie is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) trained in trauma care. She serves as a seminary instructor, facilitating certificate-level training in biblical counseling, and has authored several books, including her latest, Trauma Aware: A Christian’s Guide to Providing Help and Care. Eliza co-hosts Counsel for Life, a podcast about mental health and the Christian life. 

Resources mentioned:

https://www.elizahuie.com/

Trauma Aware: A Christian’s Guide to Providing Help and Care

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

No relationship has more impact on the spiritual direction of a child or teen than mom and dad. But every parent needs a community to raise a disciple. Today Jay is joined once again by Pastor Josh Luecht. Between the two of them they have over 40 years of student ministry experience. Jay and Josh share the best ways parents can engage with their church youth pastors and youth volunteers to minister to their children. In this episode, Jay and Josh discus: 

• The importance of knowing and communicating directly with youth workers

• How to give the inside scoop to youth leaders to help them have better conversations with your children

• Ways you can be involved in youth ministry even if you don’t want to be a small group leader

• What to do if you are frustrated with a certain aspect of your youth pastor or youth leader

• The importance of showing appreciation so your youth leaders stay for many years

• Discerning the times when you might need to directly speak to a youth pastor about a problem and the times when you need to involved senior leadership

• Ways you can use your knowledge and skills to improve your youth pastor’s knowledge and skill

• The importance of not dumping off all spiritual direction for your children to the youth pastor or church

Bio: Pastor Josh Luecht is a teaching pastor at Calvary Chapel Palm City, FL. He holds a M.A. in Biblical Leadership from Calvary Chapel University and loves leading students into a deeper understanding of the Gospel…Josh is also a sports fan, musician and reading enthusiast. In his spare time he enjoys watching hockey and hanging out with his wife. He has been married to Mary since 2012.

Resources Referenced:

Calvary Chapel Palm City Verse by Verse Podcast

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Discover how to unlock spiritual growth and maturity through the power of relationship and identity.

"Relationship inspires behavior, and gives us motivation for obedience.”

Pastor Jon Price has been in ministry for 35 years and is a speaker, trainer, author and coach. He lives in north Georgia with his wife of 26 years and has two grown children also in the Atlanta area. He is the Pastor of Missions and Connections at Peachtree Corners Baptist Church in Peachtree Corners, GA. 

Through Alan Shore's research on brain science, Jim Wilder's books and Marcus Warner's teachings, Jon learned that the right side of the brain, filled with relationship and identity, is the key to spiritual maturity and growth. With this knowledge, Jon realized that the joy of God is the strength that helps us through our trials and the importance of remaining relational with those around us.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. The power of identity and group identity in spiritual growth and maturity.

2. The importance of relationship and joy in providing nourishment for the brain.

3. The concept of "rare maturity" in remaining relational and keeping relationships foremost.

Resources:

Twitter: @baldjonp

Instagram: @baldjonp

Revjonprice.com

revjonprice@gmail.com

Invited In and Set Free: Meditations on Galatians https://tinyurl.com/Invited-In 

Books by Jim Wilder: https://amzn.to/3H8zSgU

Connect with Jay:

 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/

Website: www.letsparentonpurpose.com

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

As I begin a new series called “Hard Conversations”, Pastor Matt Price and I discuss Paul’s instructions for husbands, wives, children, slaves, and masters. We compare the Colossians 3 and Ephesians 5 texts, and set the stage for the Roman family and slave culture that permitted the New Testament world. Matt and I talk about how these text call every believer to first view their world through the lease of the gospel and not their power dynamic. We also speak to recent and historical abuses of this text. Pauls words were not meant to be a weapon used against another individual, but a call to live with meaning and dignity, remembering that we will all give an account to God for the way we loved one another.

Matt Price is the senior pastor of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida, where he has served for 25 years. Matt and his wife Jenny have been married for 30 years and have five biological and adoptive children. They have fostered a local church environment centered on the gospel, service, and transparency.

Resources Mentioned:

Love and Respect - https://amzn.to/3kbpsl5

Jay shares a sneak peak of upcoming episodes of his new podcast Guided By Faith: Devotions and Advice for Teens and Young Adults. He also shares with his listeners an exciting opportunity to help spread solid Biblical Teaching throughout the nation of India.

On this week’s episode, you’ll hear three short devotionals from the Guided by Faith Podcast.

• Through the Lens of the Gospel – how to view the events of your life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ

• Jesus Understands Your Struggles

• What Does God Think About Injustice

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Resources mentioned:

https://www.jordanraynor.com

The Royal In You

www.guidedbyfaith.net

Get Your Identity Simplified Digital Resource at cpgive.org

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support

There’s a simple action you can take that has profound theological and neurological significance in your household… smile. Jay shares the correlation between smiling and the blessing of God from Numbers 6. A core facet of God’s blessing upon his people was the shining face of God looking upon them. In a similar way, we bless the members of our household simply by looking at them and giving our smile. 

In this episode Jay goes on a scriptural journey to explain the concept of the smile of God and then turns to the neurological benefits of training a child with our smile. If you want a simple way to build attachment, lower stress, and increase security in your home, look your family members in the face and smile!

Resources mentioned:

What’s in a Smile

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

As we get near Christmastime, its a wonderful time of year to review a perpetual quandary of our modern age: How to we teach our children contentment when they are surrounded by unrelenting advertisements for more and more stuff. Today I revisit an early episode where we talk about a three part strategy for teaching contentment in the home.

1. Teach Perspective

2. Take Responsibility for Others

3. Live More By Having Less 

Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y 

Jay walks us through Ephesians 5 and 6 to point out a key truth: the greatest section of the Bible on family and interpersonal relationships is right next to the greatest section of the Bible on spiritual warfare. Today we look at the reality of spiritual warfare in our homes, and how we are called to remember that our family members are not the enemy, they are the prize. Jay discuses the armor of God in terms of being “in Christ”. Finally, he gives pointers for families who find themselves in a difficult time of anger or arguing with one another. Remember, you have an enemy, but it’s not your family member!

Powered by Christian Parenting

Resources mentioned:

www.cpgive.org

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Fear of failure as a parent can paralyze a mom or dad. In my new “What if…?” series I look at the reality of our parental failure through the lens of the gospel. We talk about:

1. Why many of our failures don’t matter

2. The reality that there will be many times when you really blow it

3. How to view your failure in the light of the gospel.

Failure is not the last word, and God can use our worst moments to shape some of the best character qualities in our children.

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

**Be sure to check out our new discussion guide to help you make the most out of this episode. Download it here.

Research shows that the average adult makes over 35,000 decisions every day! We make a lot of choices, and many of our choices have a compounding effect as we repeat them day after day. Other choices are not as important but drain our energy. This week Jay shares insights on the power of pre-deciding in seven areas of your life that will have tremendous compound interest. Listen as Jay explains why you should:

1. Pre-decide when you are going to have your time with God each day.

2. Pre-decide when you are going to bed and when you are going to wake up as a normal habit. 

3. Pre-Decide your default meals for breakfast and lunch. 

4. Pre-decide your days and time to be a part of the church

5. Pre-decide your date nights

6. Pre-decide family dinner nights

7. Pre-decide to be proportionally generous

Powered by Christian Parenting

Resources mentioned:

The Greatest Choices of Strategic Leaders: https://go.roberts.edu/leadingedge/the-great-choices-of-strategic-leaders

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

14, 8, 6, 5 years old when I started

Thanks Christian Parenting, Covenant Fellowship, Listeners, My wife and kids

In the past 7 years Jay has released 350 episodes and interviewed over 120 different people for Let’s Parent on Purpose. Today Jay shares his biggest personal insights from the years of being a learner behind the microphone.

To commemorate the Episode 350 milestone, be sure to check out Jay’s 10 all time favorite Let’s Parent on Purpose podcasts!

Listen today as Jay shares his biggest insights including:

• Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint

• Your marriage must take precedence over your parenting

• No single event is going to make or break your children

• One of the biggest threats your children face is your ego

• Our habits should reflect our heart, and also our habits will shape our heart

• Keep preaching the gospel to yourself!

Resources mentioned:

Link Jay’s Favorite Let’s Parent on purpose Episodes

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@letsparentonpurpose

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Sometimes I feel the pressure to fix all of the broken things in my family and friends. It’s especially paralyzing when you cannot see what God is doing. In this devotional form John 5, we see that Jesus did nothing of his own initiative, but only what he saw His Father already doing. If the Son of God only worked in areas where He could see his Father working, shouldn’t we enjoy the freedom of following His example? God doesn’t need us to join his work, but he wants us to. As we join the Father, we grow in character and skill. We go from knowing about God to knowing God. And the more time we spend working with our Father, the more we become like our Father. This is the second episode in my “Upside Down Insights” series. Birthed out of our bone marrow transplant journey, these are insights God has given me as our world turned upside down.

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God:

https://amzn.to/ 37jJJTa

What if you could lower some of the sources of anxiety in your children’s lives and build a greater sense of stability and connection?  My guest Terra Mattson rejoins me today for a conversation on the digital drivers of anxiety in our children, especially our young ladies. In this episode, you will learn about

• The science behind the wiring of male and female brains and how it contributes to higher female anxiety.

• The various ways our cell phones promise connection but instead bring isolation. 

• What are the right questions to ask yourself before deciding to give your children a cellphone?

• How do you walk back cell phone privileges when you see they are causing harm?

• The role of joy in healthy brain development and the simple practices parents can initiate to grow the joy and connection in their home. 

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual guidance to help you grow into the perfectly imperfect parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org 

Alongside her husband Jeff Mattson, Terra is co-founder and CEO of Living Wholehearted, LLC, a professional counseling and organizational development firm outside Portland, Oregon, and Courageous Girls, an online resource helping moms gather in intentional communities so they can walk with their daughters at every stage of her growing years in a world of confusing messages. As a licensed marriage and family therapist and executive coach, she has spent two decades counseling, coaching, and training leaders around trauma-informed theology and wholehearted leadership. She is co-host of the weekly Living Wholehearted Podcast and the Dear Mattsons YouTube series, bridging the gap between biblical, clinical and relational wisdom to help leaders (who are also parents) build healthy relationships in their home, work, and community. You can learn more at terramattson.com or follow @terramattson 

Resources mentioned:

TerraMattson.com 

livingwholehearted.com 

MyCourageousGirls.com

 cpguides.org

Episode 323 Closing the Integrity Gap in the Hope with Jeff and Terra Mattson

 Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Faith is built through consistent, small interactions. My guest Ken Kuhn shares how to use meal times, bed times, and other regular routines to strengthen your child’s faith. Through regular questions, prayers of blessings and simple spiritual habits, you can slowly grow your children into the men and women of God who will be a blessing to the world.

Ken Kuhn is a Christian education specialist, former family ministry pastor, and coach who focuses on helping young families share Jesus with their kids from a very young age. He is the author of several resources that are intended for parents to use with their children, including the devotional prayer book May They Be Blessed.

Resources: May They Be Blessed Book Link Constant Source Website Link Family Devotional Link

Sponsor Affiliate:The Hopegivers Stories of Hope Podcast

What if you could go back in a time machine and give your young parenting self some advice?  My guest Cynthia Yanof and I talk about this very idea on today’s episode. As Cynthia watched her little one play on the playground, she thought about the lessons she could teach her younger self based on how the children were playing. We talk through her excellent advice and how we are still in the process of growing, learning, and fumbling forward on our parenting journey.

Cynthia Yanof is a wife, mom, blogger, and the host of the Pardon the Mess podcast. She has a relaxed style of interviewing, combining her quick wit and sense of humor with a firm commitment to never taking herself too seriously.

She loves Jesus, her family, foster care, and having lots of friends around her as often as possible. Cynthia is relatable, real, and a friend to all of us just trying to walk the parenting road in a meaningful way that’s pleasing to the Lord.

Resources Mentioned: 

• Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y
• The Pardon the Mess Podcast: https://www.christianparenting.org/podcasts-post/praying-for-our-kids-praying-accountability/
• www.cynthiayanof.com
• www.pardonthemess.org

Marriage and family therapist Nathan and Amy Oliver join me today for a new series on Boundaries that will Help Your Family Thrive. Today we lay the foundation that’s critical before we can expect boundaries to work: healthy connection between parents and children. Nathan and Amy share multiple ways we can pour in to our children throughout the day and week. We discuss creative ways to involve your children in your regular tasks, as well as the need daily debriefing and special times of adventure. 

Ideas discussed include: 

- Connecting around the table

- The importance of dates with your children

- Family adventures

- Bedtime routines

Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com

Don’t forget to check out this week’s sponsor, the She is Confident Courses from Christian Parenting at www.cpguides.org

Resources Mentioned: 

LPOP 290 How to Have Healthier Conflict with Nathan and Amy Oliver: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/how-to-have-healthier-conflict-with-nathan-and-amy-oliver/

LPOP 291 Skills to Communicate with Your Spouse with Nathan and Amy Oliver https://letsparentonpurpose.com/skills-to-communicate-with-your-spouse-with-nathan-and-amy-oliver/

LPOP 292 Five Healthy Marriage Habits with Nathan and Amy Oliver https://letsparentonpurpose.com/five-healthy-marriage-habits-with-nathan-and-amy-oliver/

www.olivercounseling.com

Telestrations - https://amzn.to/3HIpJJH

The Things Game - https://amzn.to/3PvzT2p

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

**Be sure to check out our new discussion guide to help you make the most out of this episode. Download it here.

What does it mean to walk in the Spirit and live in the Spirit? This week I am joined by Dr. Don Love for a walk through Galatians 5 and a discussion of the Fruit of the Spirit in the life of a believer. We talk about how to discern the will of God in your life, ways that the Lord might be speaking to you, and the importance of the statement “God’s will is found in God’s Word.” You will learn the difference between the gifts of the Spirit and the Fruit of the Spirit and how this understanding can be transformational in your marriage and parenting. Finally, Don leads us in a time of prayer to seek the Lord’s guidance on each aspect of the Fruit of the Spirit in our own lives.

Powered by Christian Parenting

Bio

Dr. Don Love is the director of Pray Through It and the host of the weekly podcast Unquenchable: Biblical Theology, Listening Prayer, and Christian Living. You can find out more and interact with Dr. Love at www.praythroughit.com

Resources mentioned:

Episode 341: Inner Healing Through Prayer with Dr. Don Love

www.praythroughit.com

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Sometimes we overcomplicate what it means to be on mission for Jesus. Brent Gibson and his wife Lisa have worked to create a family environment where service and hospitality aren’t some great feats, they are normal rhythms of life. As you listen to how they’ve engaged their family of five to clean the church and host senior church members for dinner, you’ll find ways that your family might engage in mission.

Brent Gibson is the husband to Lisa, the father of three (Charissa, Lewis, and Bobby), and an elder at Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church. He runs Robert Erneston Produce, a multi-generational family business in Stuart Florida. Brent is also a good friend and brother-in-law of Jay Holland.

www.ernestonproduce.com

LPOP 232 The Ministry of Hospitality with Abby Turner

Today I share an exciting update as Let’s Parent on Purpose is now a ministry of The 127 Project. All of your giving is now tax deductible. In addition to supporting Let’s Parent on Purpose, your giving will help build a Hope Home for Dowry Castaway children in India. 

I also share a set of questions to help you evaluate the discipleship growth of yourself and your children. Listen as I discuss how the following questions can help you grow in discipleship: 

For an initial believer:

Head

Do I understand the gospel?  

Do I believe the gospel?

Heart

Am I convicted of sin?

Am I drawn to Jesus?

Hands

Have I surrendered my life to Jesus?

Have I received His forgiveness and grace?

For an ongoing disciple (compared to past self, not to other people):

Head

How Am I growing in understanding God and His Word?

What do I now know how to teach or share to another?

Heart

Am I tender to the things of Jesus?

How would I describe my joy in the things of God?

Hands

What am I releasing to God?

How am I serving Jesus?

To be intentional about your discipleship walking forward:

Head

What habit am I going to pursue to grow in knowing God and His Word?

Heart

What habit am I going to pursue to grow my love and joy in Jesus and not just fall into religious duty?

Hands

In what ways am I going to be consistently generous with my money and service this year?

Resources Mentioned: 

You can learn more about the 127 Project and support Let’s Parent on Purpose here: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

In this conversation Christie Thomas shares insights from her book, 'Little Habits, Big Faith,' emphasizing the importance of small, intentional habits in nurturing faith within families. Jay and Christie explore how these small changes can lead to significant transformations over time, supported by real-life examples. The discussion highlights the critical role of family warmth and love in preserving faith across generations, encouraging parents to embrace simple practices that foster spiritual growth in their children. They discuss the importance of expressing love regularly, the concept of Keystone Habits, and practical ways to implement faith practices in daily life, such as the Blessing Habit. The conversation emphasizes that even small, consistent actions can lead to significant spiritual growth in children.

Key Takeaways:

• Parents today are feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

• Small habits can lead to significant changes in family faith.

• Intentional touchpoints in daily life can nurture faith.

• Family warmth is crucial for faith preservation across generations.

• Simple practices can help parents feel more equipped to share faith.

• The act of expressing love can have profound effects on children.

• Real-life examples show the impact of small changes over time.

• Creating a culture of faith in the home doesn't require grand gestures.

• Regular, small interactions can lead to deeper spiritual conversations.

• Parents can find opportunities for faith moments in everyday routines.

• Parental love shapes children's perception of God.

• Expressing love should be a daily practice.

• Keystone Habits can lead to broader changes.

• Small wins can encourage further spiritual practices.

• The Blessing Habit is a simple yet powerful tool.

• Modeling warmth and love is crucial for faith development.

• Children can thrive with consistent faith practices.

• Even older children appreciate blessings.

• Small habits can lead to big faith transformations.

• Parents are already doing impactful things for their kids.

Bio

Christie Thomas was a Children’s Ministries Director for over a decade and is now a family discipleship coach to parents who need equipping, support, and encouragement. Her books for kids and parents help families cultivate faith-filled moments. She lives with her husband and three boys in Canada.

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Resources mentioned:

https://littleshootsdeeproots.com/

Little Habits, Big Faith: https://amzn.to/4hwR6WV

Tiny Habits: https://amzn.to/4fDCEuo

The Power of Habit: https://amzn.to/4eiZyGf

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

The speed and intensity of the cultural shift towards affirming every type of sexual attraction and gender identity has left many parents struggling to keep up.

Dr. Sean McDowell, a renowned Christian Apologist and author of the new book Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture joins us to help guide moms and dads on how to have grace and truth filled conversations with their children. We discuss the importance of encouraging our kids to trust God, how to gracefully love their LGBTQ friends, and how to respond if our own children are struggling with attractions and identity.

Dr. Sean McDowell is a gifted communicator with a passion for equipping the church, and in particular young people, to make the case for the Christian faith.  Sean is the author and co-author of over twenty books including his newest one, Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture. Sean is an Associate Professor in the Christian Apologetics program at Talbot School of Theology, Biola University. He and his wife Stephanie have three children.

Resources Mentioned www.seanmcdowell.orghttps://twitter.com/Sean_McDowell

https://www.youtube.com/user/Seanmcdowell76

Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture: https:// amzn.to/3jmI299

Evidence that Demands a Verdict: Life-Changing Truth for a Skeptical World: https://amzn.to/3pQfuaG

Critical Conversations: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Discussing Homosexuality with Teens https://amzn.to/3pVCK7i

Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters: https://amzn.to/3cG7Ewp

New California Health Standards Lack Diversity, Inclusion, and Openness: https://seanmcdowell.org/blog/new-california-health-standards-lackdiversity-inclusion-and-openness

Sponsor Affiliate:

Become a Supporter of Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/support 

The hand of God is absolutely sovereign. Even if you find yourself in circumstances that do not make sense to you, God is moving and God is working. He is not done with you, your children, and your family.

Show Highlights

Andrew grew up post World War 2 Russian Speaking Soviet refugee. He spent his childhood in a refugee camp in Australia before immigrating to the United States in 1958 as a teenager. His education and business career in Chemicals and Plastics took him to San Francisco, New York, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Harvard Business School, and throughout South America. Most importantly, he became a follower of Jesus through the young woman who has been his wife for fifty years, Andrea. The Engelmans have two daughters, five grandchildren, and split their time between their south Florida home and the northern states where their children and grandkids live.

As a refugee in Australia at the young age of five, Andrew grew up in a situation that was far different and more difficult than that of most children. Through persistence and determination, he made it to the US as a teenager. His stint in the Peace Corps brought him to Iran.

It was in New York that he met his future wife, Andrea, who he saw one day at the rooftop of their apartment building, reading the Book of Romans. That's when he started to commit himself to the Lord.

It was important for Andrew for his children to be believers and for them to marry believers as well so that they would have someone to go through stresses and strains of a secular world with. 

As a business man, Andrew also noticed how the normal standards and principles for people to get ahead in the business world are contrary to the ways of God. 

My reliance on my faith and my wife sharpened me in those times when my flesh would prevail over my spirit.

Looking back on his experiences, Andrew says, "If there's a message that I can give... it's for young people to be relentless in the pursuit of something that interests them, to put themselves in situations of deep water so they can understand their full potential, and to be in the word as much as possible."

Andrew's life experiences are not ones that would usually lead towards the Lord, but it's obvious that the Lord was already moving in his life, leading him eventually to become a believer. Because his own spiritual grow was slow, Andrew values the idea of starting children's spiritual growth early and young.

Put your children in the environment of youth groups and fellowships with other believers so they can develop their Christian worldview. 

[bctt tweet="My reliance on my faith and my wife sharpened me in those times when my flesh would prevail over my spirit." username="jaydholland"]

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

This is part one of a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Today’s episode focuses on understanding the spiritual warfare behind many household conflicts and gives you tools for overcoming.

Key Points:

1. You have an enemy, and it’s not your family.

2. The combat theater is your mind. Satan’s weapon is your flesh, and your weapon is the armor of God.

3. The next combat theater is your family. Your family is not the enemy, they are the battle prize. Satan’s weapon is pride and your weapon is grace.

Remember, healing grace is a two way street but it starts with one person making the step of faith!

Discussion Questions with your family after listening:

1. What was the most important thing you heard in this podcast?

2. Is the concept of spiritual warfare in the family new to you?

3. What seems to be the greatest battlefield to you right now, your mind or your family? Why?

4. Can you see where pride has caused resentment and division in the relationships in your family? In what way?

5. Can you think of a practical way that grace could change the tone in your house? How so?

6. What do you need to do with what you heard today? When are you going to do it?

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

If you like this episode, check out Episode 138 - Spiritual Warfare in the Home

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2019/09/08/spiritual-warfare-inthe-home/

In every point of our lives, there will always be at least One Thing that we think is standing in the way of true happiness or contentment. But if we are honest with ourselves, as soon as that One Thing is resolved, we find another One Thing standing in the way. In this installment of the Heart Check devotional series, Jay turns to 2 Corinthians 12 to find guidance for how to live with peace and joy in the midst of a never ending life of One Things.


Episode 135 You Are Not in Control https:// www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2019/08/18/you-are-not-in-control/ 

This is the first of a four part series on building blocks for a healthy marriage. Before getting into communication and conflict techniques, it’s important to remember that a healthy marriage must have a solid foundation. Today I share three vital pillars for every marriage to thrive in a spiritually broken world. As you listen, consider whether your marriage is supported by: 1) a regular, personal spiritual pursuit of Jesus Christ and His will, 2) spiritually connective practices with your spouse, and 3) an accountable and encouraging faith community. 

Helpful questions to ask yourself:

1. Am I setting aside regular, personal time with Jesus?
2. Do I read His word with a heart to see God, know his will, and follow it?
3. Do I regularly pray for and with my spouse?
4. Does my pursuit of worship, study, and serving enrich my spouse’s walk with Jesus?
5. Do I have a spiritual community that encourages me in my walk and calls me to accountability if I am straying or mistreating my spouse?

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Sponsor Affiliate: 

Get the Key Psalms to Pray Over Your Kids: www.cpgive.org

Every year we make goals that never happen. The problem is not our goals, it’s our systems. As the saying goes “your habits are perfectly suited to give you the life you have.” By learning to focus on our systems, we open the door for radical change in our spiritual life, families, and personal health.

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 207 Your Future Self Will Thank You With Drew Dyck

Episode 208 Cultivating Self Control In Your Children With Drew Dyck

Episode 209 Routines for Faith Formation In Our Children with Kenneth Kuhn

Sponsor Affiliate: The Hopegivers Stories of Hope Podcast

In polls of mental health professionals, communication problems were cited as the most common factor that leads to divorce. On the other hand, couples with strong communication skills grow deeper in love and friendship even while weathering major storms. Matt and Jenny Price join us to share their wisdom and insight from over 30 years of marriage and 25 years of counseling couples at Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church.

Matt and Jenny Price have been married for 30 years and have five biological and adoptive children. Matt is the senior pastor of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida, where he has served for 25 years. He and Jenny have fostered a local church environment centered on the gospel, service, and transparency. In addition to serving alongside Matt, Jenny runs her own coaching business and has spent years as a foster parent mentor on the Treasure Coast. They also have pets (Jojo), hobbies (construction and the beach), and date nights to Longhorn.

Resources Mentioned:

www.covenantfellowship.com

www.jenneagram.com

His Needs Her Needs

The Five Love Languages

Sacred Marriage

Love and Respect

Marriage on Mission with Jenny Price: https:// www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2019/09/15/marriage-on-mission-with-jennyprice/

Sponsor Affiliate: Become a Supporter of Let’s Parent on Purpose! www.letsparentonpurpose.com/support 

The book of Proverbs gives amazing guidance for nearly every area of life. Each chapter is filled with incredible principles to guide us. Sometimes, though, things don’t work out exactly like the proverb states. In these situations, it’s important to remember that value of the other Biblical Wisdom Literature - Job and Ecclesiastes.

Resources Mentioned: https://bibleproject.com/explore/video/job/ 

Jennifer Love longed to experience the life of Christ and the transformational power of prayer like she was reading in the Bible. As she sought the Lord asking for this life, He began to answer her. Through a series of experiences with her prayer group in church and on a mission trip, Jennifer began to see spiritual breakthrough in her prayer life. Her prayer team at church saw movement in areas that had long been stagnate. Ultimately, Jennifer’s husband and children experience transformation in their own lives as God began moving powerfully through Jen’s prayers. 

We talk about Jen’s journey, the way this has impacted normal life as a wife and parent, as well as how God has used prayers for discernment and healing to open missional doors that had long remained closed. You’ll be inspired and encouraged by Jennifer. Her story might sound exceptional, but if we believe the Bible, her story should be normal for each of us!

Jennifer Love leads Pray Through It with her husband Don Love. She has been involved with leading a college listening prayer ministry for 5 years and has been part of her church’s prayer team for 8 years. She holds a BS in Secondary Education and an MAR in Pastoral Counseling. She is the author of the Bible in Stories and a blogger for Pray Through it and Intentional Traditions. Her passions are to creatively teach the Bible to children, to write about what God is teaching her and to meet with others to help lead them through life’s issues to freedom in Christ.

Resources mentioned:

The Bible In Stories:https://bibleinstories.com/?ref=jennilee.love 

praythroughit.com 

Unquenchable: Biblical Theology, Listening Prayer, and Christian Living: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unquenchable-biblical-theology-listening-prayer-and/id1548674310

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Jay Holland and Chris Sasser explore the concept of emotional baggage that children carry into adulthood, particularly focusing on the pressures of performance, the importance of healthy relationships, and the role of parental influence. Chris shares insights from his book 'Bags', discussing common emotional burdens children face and practical ways parents can help lighten their load. The discussion emphasizes the significance of understanding one's identity in Christ and fostering connections over mere content delivery in parenting.

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information, visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Bio

Chris Sasser (a.k.a.“Sass”) is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Port City Community Church in Wilmington, NC. He has served in full-time ministry since 1993, working with children’s, middle school, high school, college, and parent ministries. He has a passion for equipping and encouraging parents and leaders to help the next generation walk with God. Chris shares thoughts and ideas at www.equipandencourage.com and loves to share with students, leaders, and parents. Chris is married to Karin, and they have two young adult children, CJ and Kylie. 

Resources mentioned:

www.equipandencourage.com

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook! 

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive through the

gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

More children and teens wrestle with anxiety than ever before. Sometimes moms and dads feel powerless to help their children escape the grip of chronic anxiety. Today our guest Hannah Conway shares several simple, practical strategies that can deescalate the general level of worry, tension, and anxiety your children experience. As we continue to create a household of engagement and encouragement, we equip our children to face their own challenges, make wise decisions, and live without the need to be rescued from every small challenge. 

Listen as we discuss:

• The physiological reality of why young teenagers seem to “lose their mind”.

• The importance of knowing whose you are in order to know who you are.

• Strategies parents can employ when it feels like anxiety is cranking up in the home including: 

• Take a deep breath. Literally!

• Be in the Word, and remind yourself of the Word.

• Pray for your kids, pray with your kids. 

• Open communication, dinner table conversations with guided topics. 

• Letting them deal with consequences to learn resiliency. 

• Bringing healthy adult mentors into your children’s life.

Bio:

Hannah R. Conway is a Social Media Marketing & Communications Coordinator and Women’s Ministry Director. She's a best-selling author, podcast host on “What’s Your Story? With Hannah & Stephani”, and speaker.

Hannah is also a military wife, momma, former teacher, dog lover and roots for the Kentucky Wildcats. Most days she can be caught with a coffee cup in hand. She and her family live near Nashville, Tennessee.

Resources mentioned:

https://hannahrconway.com/

In Case You Forget: A 6-Week Devotional about Who You Are in Jesus https://amzn.to/3Lk6abC

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

In this episode, Jay reflects on the past year, discussing the impact of the 127 Project and the importance of gratitude. He explores how to measure a good year and life, drawing insights from Ecclesiastes about the meaning of life and the concept of everything being a vapor. The conversation emphasizes the significance of relationships, faith, and making intentional decisions to create a fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• Gratitude is essential for measuring a good year.

• Life experiences can be both joyful and painful.

• Ecclesiastes offers wisdom on the meaning of life.

• Everything we strive for can feel meaningless at times.

• Finding joy in daily tasks can lead to a fulfilling life.

• Relationships and faith are key to a good year.

• Life is a gift from God, and we should cherish it.

• Making intentional decisions can lead to great days.

• We have control over our actions and reactions.

• A good year is defined by our relationships and faith.

Let’s Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcasting Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Resources mentioned:

Episode 366 Grieving and Healing Through Intense Personal Loss with Eliza Huie

Episode 374 The Royal In You: Imagining The New Heavens And Earth With Jordan Raynor

Episode 375 Andrew Peterson on Parenthood, Creating, and Cultivating Faith in Our Children

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Scripture teaches us that pure and undefiled religion is caring for the orphan in their distress. Foster and adoptive parents are noble, but it often doesn’t FEEL noble! My guest Ericah Brinson shares the story of how God led her and her husband Richard to be foster and adoptive parents. She shares the struggles and challenges of the journey, as well as the ways she’s learned and grown. Ericah also gives insight for other parents in need of support or resources, and she encourages non fostering or adoptive families in how they can be a vital lifeline to those who are on this journey.

Along with her husband Richard, Ericah Brinson is the adoptive mother of four. She is a member of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church and one of the founders of the Treasure Coast Foster Closet. Ericah also created an online support group for foster and adoptive parents on the Treasure Coast of Florida.

Resources Mentioned: The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family - https://amzn.to/3uU1sqZ

When Love Is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting With RAD-Reactive Attachment Disorder - https://amzn.to/3hBxCUg https://tcfostercloset.com/

Become a Supporter of Let’s Parent on Purpose: www.letsparentonpurpose.com/support 

What do you do when you and your children experience intense personal loss, like the unexpected death of a loved one? Eliza Huie helps us walk through a series of questions that parents wrestle with as they try to process shock and grief while also helping their children deal with tragedy.

Listen as Eliza answers the following questions from Jay:

• How can parents shepherd their children through intense personal loss?
• How can they do this while also dealing with the loss themselves?
• What are normal feelings and emotions that go along with trauma.
• What might counseling to do help. How do you know if counseling is appropriate? How soon after the loss?

In crisis we have (psychological needs):

• The Activation of the Body
• The Activation of the Mind and Emotions
• The Activation of the Soul

What does a person in crisis need? (relational needs):

• What determines if a crisis situation results in long-term trauma?
• What are the essential characteristics of a helper in these situations?

A plan for what’s ahead (situational needs):

• First few days
• First 1-3 weeks
• Four weeks and beyond

Powered by Christian Parenting

About Eliza Huie

Eliza Huie is the director of counseling at McLean Bible Church located invthe Washington D.C. metro area. She is the Dean of Biblical Counseling for Metro Baltimore Seminary in Maryland. She and her husband Ken have been married for almost 30 years and they have 3 grown children and a lovely daughter-in-law.

Resources mentioned:

Biblical Virtual Counseling Resource:

Anchored Hope Counseling – https://anchoredhope.co

Fieldstone Counseling – https://fieldstonecounseling.org

Christian Trauma Counseling – https://christiantraumacounseling.com

Breath as Prayer by Jennifer Tucker

Tips for Survivors of a Disaster or Other Traumatic Event: https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/sma13-4776.pdf

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of four. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world.

For our kids' entire lives, they are going to be confronted by societal complexities that need both the lens of the Gospel and an engaged brain for them to be able to face these issues properly.

Virgil and his family have lived everywhere from Nashville to Central Asia and Spain. Because of this, his kids have been exposed to several cultures and have become discerning of what in those cultures are not applicable to their own beliefs.

As parents, we should aim to equip our children to hold their own and think clearly, especially when they set out on their own into an environment where everyone is screaming and nobody is thinking carefully before they talk.

Keep in mind that it's not a point of inculcating your own beliefs or opinions on your children, but make them strong enough to think and reason out on their own.

Identity plays a big role in your child's decision making. If they know who they are and have a strong sense of self, some decisions will come easy. If they know their values and what they stand for, they will also know what is worth their time and energy.

Another useful skill you can teach your children to do is to simply notice. See and notice without the need to make an evaluation right away, with the understanding that there are things they do not understand, and notice what they feel about something, and why.

The problems our children will encounter in their lives will involve sin. Virgil explains, in the Biblical approach, the primary location of the sin is in the individual human heart, with echoes in the collective and in the systems that humans build.

Locating where the evil is in their hearts will empower your children to do something about what is in their locus of control. Let them realize that their actions are under their control and not a result of someone else's actions. They have agency.

Get your kids used to the idea of having conversations, not conflicts. Talk to them about the differences between a conversation and a conflict. If there is a winner and a loser at the end, it's not a conversation. If anyone's yelling, it's not a conversation. Conversations are all about understanding each other.

Resources Mentioned

• The Christian Parenting Podcast Network on www.christianparenting.org
• Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866
• Previous episode: 186: Leadership Development at Home with Virgil Tanner
• Virgil's Youtube Channel: Virgil Tanner
• A couple of my favorite videos from Virgil: Lower the Bar & Making Room for Grief and Lament

Sometimes our expectations for our families are just way beyond reality. My guest Lisa Clark reminds us that we are all just sinners raising sinners, still in the process of transformation by the gospel of Jesus. We talk about expectations, personality differences among children, settings habits for a thriving family, and what to do if a child is rejecting the faith.

Lisa is married to Brad, her husband of 35 years. She and Brad co-teach a young married life group at their home church in Plano, TX. They have two daughters, Caroline and Camryn. Grounded in God’s Word, Lisa has a passion for encouraging moms in the day-to-day struggles of parenting preteens and teens. This passion and mission led her to write her very First book in 2016, Raising Sinners. Raising Sinners is a biblical parenting, short story written for moms and dads in all stages of parenting. Lisa also hosts two podcasts - Wonder and Raising Sinners, both with her cohost Chrissie Dunham. 

Resources Mentioned:

Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y 

https://www.lisaclarkspeaks.com

The Raising Sinners Podcast - https://www.christianparenting.org/ podcasts-post/a-story-of-hope-with-mary-beth-chapman/

The Wonder Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wonderpodcast/id1335112615

Raising Sinners - https://amzn.to/3HNAAQj 

Every community is going to experience conflict. The way we navigate these conflicts will either break our community or make it stronger. Today Jay shares important truths to help you grow personally and relationally as you encounter conflict in your various communities. This is an episode that is very helpful for parents in their personal lives as well as giving language for how to train their children to handle conflict in a healthy way. 

Listen as we discuss:

• The inevitability of conflict in community

• Why we experience conflict

• Deciding on whether we want to win the person or win the argument

• Developing a posture of humility

• Choosing to forgive even before we address the other person

• Seeking God’s power to pursue peace

• Understanding that it’s not always possible to have peace, and what to do next

Resources mentioned:

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose through your Tax-Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@letsparentonpurpose

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

The number of children and teens who experience high levels of anxiety has tripled over the last several years, and that’s before adding in the stress of Covid-19. Author and counselor Sissy Goff shares many of the social and cultural factors contributing to our children’s high levels of anxiety. She also equips parents with tools to help their children lower and manage stress and anxiety, including the development of an emotional vocabulary, perspective, empathy, and resourcefulness. Lastly, we speak on the how the Gospel changes our daily struggles with worry and anxiety. 

Guest Bio:

SISSY GOFF, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP is the Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee, where she works alongside her counseling assistant/pet therapist, Lucy the Havanese. Since 1993, she has been helping girls and their parents find confidence in who they are and hope in who God is making them to be, both as individuals and families. Sissy is a sought-after speaker for parenting events and the author of twelve books, including the bestselling Raising Worry-Free Girls and Braver, Stronger, Smarter (for elementary aged girls) and her new release for teenage girls, Brave. Sissy is a regular contributor to various podcasts and publications as well as her own podcast called Raising Boys and Girls. You can find more information and resources at raisingboysandgirls.com.

Resources Mentioned

Sissy’s website: www.raisingboysandgirls.com

www.daystarcounseling.com

Sissy’s book - Brave, a Teen Girl’s Guide to Beating Worry and Anxiety

Sissy’s book - Are My Kids on Track? The 12 Emotional, Spiritual, and Social Milestones your Child Needs to Reach

Sissy’s Book - Raising Worry Free Girls

Sissy’s Book - Braver, Stronger, Smarter (for elementary aged girls)

Sponsor Affiliate: CP Give Spring drive www.cpgive.org

Culture continues to saturate our children with messages on gender and sexuality. Parents should expect their children to come to them with questions about these topics. At some point, there’s a reasonable likelihood your child might approach you confused or identifying as a different gender or sexuality. What are you going to do?  In the first half of a two part conversation with author and counselor Dan Seaborn, we talk about how to react to that first revelation. Dan reminds us how to keep perspective rather than panic, and how we can even celebrate the fact that our kids are even willing to talk to us. We discuss the way God has redeemed our own sexual sins. He speaks encouragement (from personal experience) for parents who are grieving wayward children. Dan also addresses the realities of the different culture our children live in compared to our child.

Dan Seaborn, M.A., is the founder and president of Winning At Home, an organization that supports marriages and families. As an author, speaker, and leader of the Marriage and Family Network of AACC, Dan uses humor, practical illustrations, and real-life examples to teach others how to win at home. He has authored thirteen books and holds a master’s degree in Christian ministries. His new book, Winning at Home, will be available nationwide on September 13, 2022.

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 297 Equipping our children for conversations on sexuality and gender identity with Sean McDowell

Episode 216 Talking to Your Children About Sexuality and Gender Identity: https://tinyurl.com/ycyb6a4d

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

On the outside, Steve & Lisa Goldberg looked like the perfect couple. On the inside, they were miserable. This reality had slowly been building in the first six years of our marriage. It exploded with revelations of resentment, betrayal, brokenness, and fear. But God welcomed a prodigal daughter home, saved one of His own and restored a marriage. Listen to Steve and Lisa share their transparent story of failure, redemption, and restoration.

Steve & Lisa founded Side By Side, a nonprofit organization inspiring and encouraging couples to value, nurture and restore their marriages. Their deepest desire is to see all marriages God-centered and thriving. Over 90% of the couples Side By Side has served have reconciled marriages! They live in Raleigh, NC where Steve is a Worship Pastor and Lisa is the Executive Director of Side By Side. They have a fun-loving 8 year-old son and a rowdy Shih Tzu.

Resources Mentioned:

Side By Side, staysidebyside.org

Our Journey From Hurt To Hope: A live, 1-hour musical storytelling experience.

Steve and Lisa’s Free Ebook: Help! I Just Found Out My Spouse Is Having An Affair: A Step-By-Step Guide to Navigating the Reveal of Infidelity 

More than any other period in our lifetime, the world seems to be swirling in chaos. On top of that, many of us have personal crisis or perpetual responsibilities that leave us traumatized. Today I talk with Virgil Tanner about two strategies for centering on Christ in the midst of a chaotic world. The first strategy is for long term soul health. The second strategy can be adapted to acute times of crisis to keep us from spiraling out of control.

Virgil’s Framework

The Five Dimensions of the Human Soul, and the three areas to address with each:

Spiritual: Alone, With Others, Working in the World

Physical: Eat, Move, Recover

Cognitive: Learn, Focus, Play

Emotional: Notice, Interview, Manage

Relational: Discern, Invest, Grow

Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of five. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world.

Resources Mentioned:

Centering on Christ, Caring for Your Soul: a self-guided exercise - https://www.dropbox.com/s/fhqkdh8sfdpuwuv/ Centering%20on%20Christ%2C%20Caring%20for%20Your%20Soul%2 0Exercise.pdf?dl=0

Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y

In the final devotion in our Heart-Check Series, we look at the challenge of proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart, for out if flow the wellsprings of life”. Jay talks about why it is so important to guard our hearts. He encourages us to notice four areas that might derail our hearts: apathy, bitterness, community, doubt.

Finally, Jay gives encouragement on how to go from the defensive to the offensive in protecting our hearts. This is a devotion that speaks to parents, children, spouses, and singles.

You may not even realize this, but Jesus speaks of money more than of heaven and hell combined, perhaps more than any singular topic. In fact, 11 of the 39 parables that Jesus teaches are on the topic of money and finances.

Finances often trigger anxiety and stress. From what I've experienced, I've realized: my worry was not fixing my financial situation and I belong to Jesus and He is taking care of me.

Today, I want to share five over-arching heart principles on money and finance.

As we close out 2022 I share with you five questions that can help you process your year and lead you into an intentional 2023. For each of the questions I share with you my answers as I process my year. Listen as we discuss the following questions:

- What are the 2-3 ways you experienced the goodness of God most deeply?

- What are the 3-4 decisions you made that have had the most impact on your life this year? (2 Good, 2 Bad)

- Which relationships had the greatest impact on you this year?  Were they good or bad?

- What is something you really wanted to do that did not happen this past year? Why didn’t it happen?

- If money were no object and you could do anything with your life to serve the Lord, what would you do?

- Walk through these questions personally. Write down your answers. Then prayerful take the questions to the Lord and process them with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned:

Episode 300 Beating Leukemia Together with Elijah and Micah Holland https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2022/10/24/episode-300-beating-leukemia-together-with-elijah-and-micah-holland/

Episode 278 How to Measure a Good Day

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2022/05/22/how-to-measure-a-good-day/

Episode 279 A Walkthrough of a Family Sabbath Dinner

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2022/05/29/a-walkthrough-of-a-family-sabbath-dinner/

Get a copy of my Measuring a Great Day checklist and Family Sabbath Liturgy - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y

Consider a year end gift to Cpgive.org

Many moms and dads are shocked to find out how disorienting it is to parent their young adult children. Our 18-25 year old children still need parenting, but the relational dynamics are very different during these years. Pastor and author Jim Ramos has navigated these years with three of his own children, and shares insights he learned from parenting through this time frame. One of his mentors called the 18-25 year old period of life “the stupid years”, and it can be a terrifying time for a mom and dad as our children seek independence and often drift in their faith while making major life choices. 

Listen as Jim shares seven insights from his time of parenting through the “stupid years”. As you listen, you’ll learn why it’s vital to

• Remember that you are the incarnation of Christ to your children

• Pray over your children and pray for their spouses

• Engage with your children - be the rubber band!

• Remember to show them that you love them, and that you LIKE them, with your eye contact and facial expressions

• Understand that when your adult child is out of the house, THEY are now the ones who control the relationship

• Be wise as a parent and avoid being the bulldozer or helicopter parent

• Trust Jesus with your children!

Bio: Jim Ramos is a bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of Men in the Arena, a non-profit Christian ministry focused on equipping men to honor God in the leadership of their family, church, and community.

He hosts the #1 ranked Spotify podcast for Christian men, the Men in the Arena Podcast, and has written the #1 Amazon Bestseller Strong Men Dangerous Times. 

Jim lives in McMinnville, Oregon, with his wife Shanna. His goal is to live each day to its fullest with courageous abandon according to Jesus’ promise in John 10:10. 

Resources mentioned:

www.meninthearena.org

The Men in The Arena Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/men-in-the-arena-christian-mens-podcast/id1144237071

Strong Men Dangerous Times: Five Essentials Every Man Must Possess to Change His World: https://amzn.to/3oq8DZV

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Jesus spent three years making disciples around the meal table. My guest Abby Turner, author of The Living Table: Recipes and Devotions for Everyday Get-togethers shares how to reclaim your table as a place of encouragement, ministry, and discipleship. We talk about how to lower the expectations of perfection, the difference between hosting and hospitality, and how to involve your children in practicing hospitality. Abby even shares an easy 30 minute recipe to make a special dinner for your family and guests.

Abby Turner, the food blogger and writer behind A Table Top Affair, has made it her mission to help women toss aside the pressures of a Pinterestperfect dinner party in exchange for meaningful and simple gatherings that feature easy and delicious dishes, allowing hostesses to shift their focus from the food and party preparations to communing with the people who are present.

Abby’s Website: https://atabletopaffair.com/

The Prodigal Son Comes Home with Shane O’Neill:  www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2020/09/27/the-prodigal-son-comes-homewith-shane-oneill/

Become a Supporter of Let’s Parent on Purpose: www.letsparentonpurpose.com/support 

Some couples naturally communicate very well with one another. But for most, it’s a learned skill. If we are not intentional with our communication, one day we might wake up next to someone we not longer know nor care to know. Marriage therapists Nathan and Amy Oliver equip us today with key skills to enhance our marriage through better communication. We talk about the primary purpose of communication (connection vs. information collection). The Oliver’s discuss the importance of nonverbal communication, the dangers of trying to communicate through text, and ways to help your spouse feel validated even if you don’t agree with them. These simple skills will help you stay invested in your spouse as you each change from the early years, through the parenting years, into a thriving marriage as empty nesters.

Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

www.olivercounseling.com

It’s Not About The Nail Youtube Video: https://tinyurl.com/3ku2d54c

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss: https://amzn.to/3nfESXz

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

There is no way to completely shelter your children from the cultural campaign on gender identity and sexuality. Dr. Sean McDowell shares how we can equip ourselves to walk alongside our children, asking questions, and teaching them how to have loving, biblical worldview in their schools and sports teams.

Dr. Sean McDowell is a gifted communicator with a passion for equipping the church, and in particular young people, to make the case for the Christian faith. He connects with audiences in a tangible way through humor and stories while imparting hard evidence and logical support for viewing all areas of life through a Biblical worldview. Sean is an Associate Professor in the Christian Apologetics program at Talbot School of Theology, Biola University. Sean’s most recent book is called A Rebel’s manifesto: Choosing Truth, Real Justice, & Love amid the Noise of Today’s World.

Resources Mentioned:

Sean’s Website: www.seanmcdowell.org

A Rebel’s Manifesto: https://seanmcdowell.org/item/a-rebels-manifesto

Episode 216 Talking to Your Children About Sexuality and Gender Identity: https://tinyurl.com/ycyb6a4d

Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets by Andy Stanley: https://amzn.to/3AtzUhq

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

What if your family’s pursuit of Jesus takes you in the opposite direction of The American Dream? Josh Gardner and family sought to obey Jesus by intentionally moving closer to a lower income housing development, befriending their community, and becoming an incarnation model of the gospel of Christ. 

Josh and his family had been serving in a traditional church setting when he and his wife felt the burden to live more intentionally missional. They initially left Stuart, FL for a discipleship role in Anderson, SC. As they settled in the community, the Lord continued to put the hurting and broken in their path. Over time, the Gardners ministry began to focus on a lower income apartment complex in South Carolina. While incredibly challenging, the Gardners experienced the joy of their children becoming teammates in their efforts to make disciples in their community. They gained trust among people who would normally look at them with suspicion, and they became valued members of a community often plagued by poverty, crime, and loss. 

Josh’s story of faith is not one where it all worked out neatly. There was massive stress, heartbreak, loss of safety and comfort, and the loss of a normal support network of Christian friends. At the same time, the Gardners were able to live on mission as a team, know Jesus more deeply, and see fruitful disciples in an area that is often overlooked by the traditional church.

Listen to Josh’s story and listen to how Jesus might be calling your family to live with sacrifice for the sake of the kingdom.

Resources mentioned:

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@letsparentonpurpose

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jaydholland

Every marriage has conflict. It’s how you handle the conflict that determines the direction and quality of your marriage. My guests Nathan and Amy Oliver outline specific steps you can incorporate into your turbulent issues to end more connected than when you began. You’ll learn the power of a time out in the midst of a heated discussion. You’ll also be equipped with steps to take during and after the time out to ensure you win the person, not the argument.

These steps include:

- Asking questions to regain perspective: Who is this person? What am I feeling right now? What does he or she feel in me?

• Breathing and regaining control of your “logic brain” from your “emotional brain”
• Learning to empathetically restate your spouse’s position even if you don’t agree with it.

Additionally, you’ll discover the emotional, physical, and sexual benefits of conflict resolution and how to not live in fear of the next argument.

Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

www.olivercounseling.com

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss: https://amzn.to/3nfESXz

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

A few years ago I began to craft my ideal week. While it never goes according to plan, the practice has radically increased my fruitfulness and decreased my stress. Today I share with you the benefits of crafting your ideal work week as well as the process for creating your own.

Scheduling Your Ideal Work Week:

First off, before beginning your schedule, take a few minutes to write out your long term goals for a fruitful and joy filled life.

For me those would include:

An ever-growing relationship with Jesus

A body that is functional and not in chronic pain

A mind that stays curious and sharp

A deepening love and joy in my life and partnership with my wife

Intentional time with my children and friends

Joyful life with the church

Faithful and fruitful work

Next, write out a Monday-Sunday calendar. Break up the day into these 6 sections: Early Morning, Late Morning, Early Afternoon, Late Afternoon, Early Evening, Late Evening.

Now, fill-in the absolute fixed points of your schedule that you don’t control the time of.

Next, fill in the time slots that are an investment in those long term goals you listed before starting your calendar. For instance, each Early Morning I have slotted a time that is called Morning Startup. This includes a time for a long walk and prayer time, reading the word, quickly journaling about yesterday, and my hygiene time. I know this time will also include helping get the kids ready for school. There’s also a date night blocked, a family sabbath dinner, and a time for personal projects. 

Now, aim to block off chunks of 2-3 hour blocks for deep work or batched work (these are tasks that can be done much quicker if grouped together, like emails, chores, or phone calls).  I’ve learned is that in a 40 hour work week, if I can get 12-15 hours of uninterrupted deep work, I can really thrive at completing all that’s required of me besides the people interactions. So I block those deep work times in 3 hour chunks through the week.

For more details, listen to the podcast! Additionally you might benefit from checking out Michael Hyatt’s explanation in my resources mentioned section below. This is where I learned the practice.

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

How to Better Control Your Time by Designing Your Ideal Week: https://fullfocus.co/ideal-week/

Free to Focus: A Total Productivity System for Doing More by Doing Less: https://amzn.to/3NRBP2O

Get Your Calendar Year Prayer Journal: www.cpgive.org

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Diana Grounds is one of my heroes. As a parent, she has endured more trials and challenges than most of us ever will. Yet, she is still filled with the joy of Jesus like very few people I have ever known and she is one of the best examples of keeping hope and faith through it all.

Show Highlights

Diana Grounds is a mother of four children, two of which have proceeded her to heaven. She and Charles, her husband of 53 years, have followed Jesus through the death of one son to leukemia, another daughter to a heart condition, the brain aneurysms of a third child, and a terrifying path of drugs and rebellion for a forth child. Diana’s hope in Jesus radiates through her severe trials. She has served in various roles at Fellowship Baptist Church in Barboursville, WV, and is a national speaker with the Christian Women’s Connection.

Through everything Diana had been through with each of her children, she finally came to realize: "I have to take God at his word." Trust in Him and lift up to Him what we have no control over.

Clinging to the words in the Bible, she learned, "I did not have to be afraid because He is God. I don't have to be dismayed or discouraged because He is my God." God will provide the strength and help you need.

Just experiencing one of these challenges is overwhelming enough, but the difficult situations strengthened Diana's faith in God's promises. "I could praise the Lord even with our son and daughters' illnesses."

It was harder to deal with her eldest daughter becoming addicted to drugs because she felt somehow responsible for it as a parent. To overcome this, Diana actively looked for ways to help her daughter towards recovery. She ended up having her daughter arrested and committed to a home. It was a difficult decision to make, but a necessary one. "I was able to place her in God's care, expecting Him to accomplish what I couldn't." Knowing that God could do what she could not released a lot of guilt from Diana as a mother.

No parent wants to – or should – have to bury their own child. Diana had to bury two. Still, she has also witnessed big and small moments of God's blessings. "His grace is sufficient."

[bctt tweet="I could praise the Lord even with our son and daughters' illnesses." username="jaydholland"]

Resources Mentioned

• Sponsor Affiliate: Christian Parenting
• Website: http://www.christianwomenconnection.org

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

In this last week of the year, many of us make goals for how we are going to be different. Most of our goal don’t make it much further than February. Today I share one of the great revelations of my life: goals don’t matter that much. It’s our systems that determine everything. I’ll share with you how to think through creating a system that will help you start and end your day well. You’ll learn the secret of habit stacking. And I’ll encourage you to learn to love the process rather than obsessing on the final goal. 

Resources Mentioned: 

Free to Focus: A Total Productivity System to Achieve More By Doing Less - https://amzn.to/3Ejz8oU

Episode 210 Focus on Your Systems, Not Your Goals: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2021/01/24/focus-on-your-systems-not-your-goals/

In a world of unrelenting demands, it can be very easy to spend all of our focus on work and the needs of our children. This laser focus can come at the cost of our own spiritual health, which will then damage every other area of our life. My guest today has spent decades observing the effects of spiritual neglect on the mission field as well as home front. One of his central life callings has been to help those serving in full time ministry tend to the nurturing of their own souls. I'm excited to share with you today a brilliant man whom I also call friend, Dr. Jim O'Neill.

Jim O'Neill serves as Director of Mobilization and Leadership Development at Frontier Ventures. Additionally, he and his wife Sterling are the founders of the Next Gen Leaders Conference.

Jim and and his wife Sterling have been married for over 38 years. They have 4 grown children, 3 son-in-laws and 4 grandkids. Jim hails from Pennsylvania and Sterling from SC. They met in college in VA. where both were called to missions. Serving together, they each come with 13 years of church planting experience in Asia, 13 years in leadership with two mission organizations, and 8 years ministering in formal theological education and equipping.

Because of their passion about multiplying and nurturing leaders, Jim and Sterling founded the Net Gen Leaders Conference. You can find out more at their website here.

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

Jay shares a powerful set of words that can help rewire your household to get past the blame game and start working towards making things right. “It doesn’t have to be your fault to be your responsibility” is a concept we see through the teachings of Scripture (The Good Samaritan, Galatians 6, the incarnation of Jesus). As we start to incorporate this concept into every day life we will see endless applications in our households that will train our children for a more fruitful adult life. Learn how “not your fault, still your responsibility” can help you change the conversation with 

• messes and spills

• lost toys

• group projects and homework assignments

• arguments and fights

• the larger broken world around us. 

Jay walks through a biblical basis for the concept and then shares several real world examples where you can apply this teaching in with your children.

Resources mentioned:

https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Connect with Jay:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@letsparentonpurpose

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letsparentonpurpose

How can we hope to have children who are steady, kind, and resilient in an increasingly hostile culture? It starts with what mom and dad model at home. On this episode Jay is joined by Pastor Ken Castor for a discussion on modeling healthy identity, communication, and kindness in our homes to prepare our children for the challenges of a word that wants to label Christian morality as hate.

As you listen you’ll be encouraged to notice the way you handle feedback and criticism in your home. You’ll learn the importance of missionary loving your neighbors, especially if you disagree with them. Finally you’ll be reminded to keep your hope rooted in Christ rather than giving in to the anger, angst, and volatility of our society in this upcoming election season. In each of these circumstances, Ken brings us back to scripture as our foundation and guidebook.

Powered by Christian Parenting

Bio: Dr. Ken Castor is the Next-Gen Pastor of Wooddale Church (Eden Prairie MN) and author of Grow Down: How to Build a Jesus-Centered Faith and the editor of the Make a Difference Youth Bible (NLT). You can interact with him at www.kencastor.com

Resources mentioned:

www.kencastor.com

https://makeadifferencebible.com/

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose as we help families thrive though the gospel: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/



Snow Plow Parenting. You might have never heard of the term, but you have definitely witnessed method in families. Are you a snow plow parent? 

Today I finish my Boundaries to Help Your Family Thrive series with my guests Nathan and Amy Oliver. They explain Snow Plow Parenting, share signs to recognize if you might be a snow plow parent, and give healthy boundaries to allow your children to grow resiliency. 

In Snow Plow Parenting you pave the path of least resistance for your children so they don’t encounter difficulty or failure in life. The hard things of life are inevitable. You’re not always going to win. It’s important we teach our children how to deal with the hard emotions that come with life. 

It’s essential for children to experience loss and suffering and failure more than they feel comfort and ease. Questions to help you evaluate your parenting:

How do I feel when my chid fails or is rejected?

Is my interaction helping them become more capable and competent or incapable and incompetent?

What does love look like?

Bio:

Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com

Resources Mentioned: 

www.olivercounseling.com

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose through the 127 Project: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Let's Parent on Purpose is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Generation Z is the most unchurched and unreached generation alive today. At the same time, research shows that the vast majority of people who put their faith in Jesus do so before the age of 18. Pastor Josh Leucht joins Jay for a conversation on the difference approach we need to take in sharing the gospel with Generation Z. Their discussion includes:

• Understanding how many in Gen Z find it offensive for you to share your moral standards.

• The pressure Christian students feel for having absolute truth claims and believing Jesus is the only way.

• How many older methods of sharing the gospel don’t work as readily. 

• The difference in law/punishment cultures and honor/shame cultures

• How the gospel speaks into honor/shame cultures and reaches Gen Z

• The effectiveness of story

• The effectiveness of pointing out brokenness as an entry point to the gospel

Pastor Josh Luecht is a teaching pastor at Calvary Chapel Palm City, FL. He holds a M.A. in Biblical Leadership from Calvary Chapel University and loves leading students into a deeper understanding of the Gospel…Josh is also a sports fan, musician and reading enthusiast. In his spare time he enjoys watching hockey and hanging out with his wife. He has been married to Mary since 2012.

Resources Referenced:

Episode 88 A Happy Adoption Story

Calvary Chapel Palm City Verse by Verse Podcast

Support Let's Parent on Purpose through your Tax Deductible Giving

Join my Things for Thursday Email List and get a free Marriage Snapshot Tool and Fun Family Conversation Ebook!

Counselors Nathan and Amy Oliver are back to help us navigate healthy boundaries in the realms of Social Media, Sleepovers, and Curfew. This is part three of our four part Boundaries to Help Your Family Thrive series. Remember, we want to insulate our children, not isolate them. Each child is different, and you need to be a student of your children. Therefore, each boundary flows out of the question: What does love look like? And what does love look like for each individual child?

We also talk about the challenges of boundaries when you are a single parent or blended home.

Resources Mentioned: 

The Innovation of Loneliness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6Bkr_udado

www.olivercounseling.com

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Lisa Appelo went to bed married one night and woke up a widow and single mom to seven children the next morning. Her story of navigating raw, tender grief stands as a testimony that—regardless of your circumstances—life can be good again after it falls apart. We talk about the experience of losing her husband dan, the process of navigating her own grief, as well as the individual paths of grieving each of her children walked. Most importantly, we celebrate how Jesus can bring a depth and richness to our joy even if we’ve experienced traumatic loss.

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It Falls Apart by Lisa Appelo: https://lisaappelo.com/lifecanbegoodagain/ LisaAppelo.com

IG: @lisaappelo

FB: @LisaAppelo

Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/