Intrinsically Ordered (Gay Ex-Trad)

I sat down with Chris Dowling to hear his story of loosing his job after coming out, why he still stays religious, how he lives out of the fruits of the spirit, and his upcoming two-year anniversary of being married.

To connect with Chris and hear more of his work, make sure to follow him on Instagram and Facebook.

To support interviews like this, consider supporting my work on Patreon and gain early access to new episodes: patreon.com/gaytradspeaks. I have Simon Kent Fung (creator of Dear Alana), Justin ('EmptyChairsHome' on social media), and a number of other guests lined up to be on the podcast.

The goal of this podcast format is to to hear stories of people at the intersection of queer identity and religion. I've shared plenty about my story and my own thoughts on my main channel, but I wanted to create a second channel dedicated to hearing others' stories - remaining in the church, leaving the church, finding a more accepting denomination, etc. Hopefully these stories can give you more of a perspective and help you make decisions for your faith journey.

If you'd like to be on the podcast, feel free to reach out - contact info is on my channel, or send me a DM.

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

The Catholic Church promises 'true peace' to all who follow Him, but what do you do when you don't? What if your existence and wellbeing run contrary to this path that contains the 'fullness of the truth?' Today, I had a longer discussion with my friend Colin (gay, raised FSSP) and Astronaut (gay, former cleric) about my last video 'The Catholic Church Doesn't Know What to Do With Gay People.'

The Intrinsically Ordered Podcast is available on all major podcast platforms and explores the intersection of queer identity and catholicism - sharing stories of those who've left, remained, and created their own journeys; providing commentary on the catholic church's harmful teachings; helping those who've been hurt.

To get early access to new episodes, submit questions to guests, and support this work, consider supporting me on patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad
00:02:00 - Queer Identity and the Church's Structure
00:10:00 - Emotional Impact of Catholicism
00:33:27 - Gay Priests
00:44:12 - Intimacy & Sexuality
00:52:32 - Philosophical Dilemmas
01:02:35 - Navigating Logic Mazes in Theology
01:12:02 - Should You Stay Catholic

To be a guest on the show or to contact, email can be found in channel information

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Trent Horn, a catholic apologist for Catholic Answers and host of the Counsel of Trent show, published a talk recently at Young Americans for Freedom called '7 Questions Liberals Can't Answer.'

I hopped on a call with Veronica from the Leave Laugh Love podcast and my two friends Ben & Colin to respond to some of Trent's questions on socialism, gay marriage, contraception, transgenderism, MAID, and abortion.

Myself and co-host in this episode are all ex-catholic is varying degrees. All opinions are each individual's own (including my own crazy takes).

To join the show on a future episode or submit content for us to react to, shoot me an email (available on my YT channel) or Patreon.

To support this work in fighting radical catholicism, get early access to episodes, and join my discord of ex/current catholics, consider supporting me on patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Therese was born into a FSSP parish. She has many good memories, but also many bad memories from her time: an overbearing mother, purity culture, being in the closet, and catholic dating. But now, Therese is living her best life after deconstructing - experiencing the world, practicing witchcraft, and falling in love.

Today, Colin and I sat down with Therese to hear her story and thoughts on life. It was an honor getting to hear her story.

To join our community of ex/current catholics, get early access to videos, and support this work, consider supporting me on patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad.

If you'd like to be on the show, please email me - contact info on my YT channel. I'd love to hear your story and thoughts on the world!

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this powerful and candid episode of The Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, we sit down with Andrew, a former Catholic with deep roots in the faith, now part of the Anglican Church. Andrew shares his story of growing up in a devout Catholic family, grappling with his identity as a queer man, and his transformative journey navigating homophobia within the Church.

0:00 Intro
1:45 Andrew’s Catholic Upbringing
7:30 Coming Out in a Religious Family
12:15 Navigating Homophobia in Youth Groups
18:40 Conversion Therapy and Its Impact
24:55 Seminary Life: Challenges and Lessons
32:10 Leaving Catholicism for Anglicanism
39:50 Reconciling Faith and Sexuality
46:35 Andrew’s Spiritual Practices Today
51:10 Advice for Others on Their Journey
55:00 Closing Reflections

To get early access to episodes, join our private discord community, and support this work, consider joining my patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Colin is working on a video on spiritual warfare in conservative/traditional catholicism, so we sat down this morning to talk through what spiritual warfare is, how it control peoples, some psychological ideas of why it takes a hold on folks, how it's used to influence politics, some internal consistencies, and some other things.

Yes, this video is directly attacking church teaching and is quite condescending. Why? This teaching, more than almost any other, destroys peoples' lives and takes away peoples' rights. I'm a fan of people choosing religious beliefs that work for them, but this realm is perhaps one of the worst parts of catholicism. Hence, the forceful speaking out.

To support this work, get early access, and join my discord community, please consider supporting me on patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad

If you want to be on the show, send me an email! (available on my YT channel)

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I've left religion entirely, but Justin from  @EmptyChairsHome has found peace in reconciling his catholic faith and his sexuality.

I hope Justin's thoughts can help those of you who choose to stay in religion. You can find Justin on all social platforms as @emptychairshome and at https://empty-chairs.org.

To join our discord community for $1, check out my patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

Chapters
0:00 - Justin's Background
1:02 - The Five Key Questions
1:54 - 1. Who Is God?
7:20 - 2. What Does the Church Say?
14:48 - 3. What’s the Life I Want to Give God?
20:01 - 4. What Does Psychology Say?
25:05 - 5. Jesus, Can I Do This?
28:00 - Advice for Those Struggling with Faith and Sexuality
31:39 - What’s Next for Justin and Empty Chairs?

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I left the Catholic Church after spending years as a zealous apologist and having discerned the priesthood. I now live an openly gay life, have a wonderful boyfriend, and have never been happier. This is my story told in detail. I'll have a future video on my philosophical/theological reasons I left after pursuing a degree in theology.

To join our discord community for $1, check out my patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Chapters
00:00 - intro
02:00 - realizing I was gay at a young age
06:15 - coming out the first time
10:00 - becoming religious
16:50 - applying to be a monk
19:18 - going to a Catholic college
21:18 - deconstructing
24:29 - first date & leaving religion
28:45 - coming out the second time
30:33 - backlash for coming out
34:08 - how I’ve matured
37:00 - my coming out advice
41:20 - people’s reaction aren’t your responsibility
43:46 - this is a HUGE decision
46:48 - if you’re scared to leave

[This is the audio-only version of my existing YouTube video]

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Join us on the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast as Dr. Julia, a clinical psychologist based in Colorado, discusses the complex intersection of faith, sexuality, and mental health. Dr. Julia explores the history and controversies surrounding conversion therapy, reparative therapy, and reintegrative therapy while offering compassionate advice for individuals and families navigating these challenges. With insights into fostering understanding and building trust, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to balance faith and personal identity.

To learn more about Dr Julia's work, you can visit her website (https://www.juliasadusky.com/) or follow her on all social media platforms @drjuliasadusky. You can also join her patreon for exclusive lectures and join her community.

00:00 - Welcome & Introduction to Dr. Julia

00:15 - Understanding Conversion, Reparative, and Reintegrative Therapies

03:07 - Do These Therapies Work? The Research & Realities

06:20 - Addressing Harm and Shame in LGBTQ+ Therapy

12:50 - Starting Conversations About Sexuality in Faith-Based Families

27:15 - Dr. Julia’s Advice for Parents and LGBTQ+ Individuals

30:56 - How to Find the Right Therapist for You

31:35 - Where to Connect with Dr. Julia & Closing Remarks

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

This episode dives deep into the story of Father Jordan, a gay Catholic priest who recently celebrated his last mass before leaving the ministry. Through this personal and emotional account, we explore themes of faith, resilience, community, and the challenges of leaving a high-demand religious role. Joined by a supportive group of former clerics and laypeople, we reflect on the impact of religious trauma, authenticity, and the hope for new beginnings.

00:00 - Introduction
01:00 - Father Jordan’s Journey
07:00 - The Decision to Leave
14:00 - Supporting His Final Mass
20:00 - Reflections on Faith and Trauma
25:00 - A Message of Hope

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this powerful episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we sit down with Dave, whose spiritual journey took him through Novus Ordo Catholicism, traditionalist Latin Mass communities, and eventually to leaving religion altogether. Dave opens up about being radicalized as a teenager, navigating his sexuality within strict religious frameworks, and ultimately deconstructing his faith. This candid conversation sheds light on the challenges of leaving high-control religious environments and finding hope on the other side.

To hear more from Dave, visit his blog: https://outoffaith.org/

0:18 – Growing Up Novus Ordo: Early Catholic Influences
2:40 – Radicalization: Finding Traditionalism Online
10:30 – Joining Religious Life: The Institute of Christ the King
25:00 – Leaving Religious Life: Struggles and Breakthroughs
35:40 – Deconstruction: Rebuilding Life Without Religion
41:00 – Finding Meaning Beyond Faith: A Message of Hope
44:25 – Closing Thoughts and Dave’s Blog, Out of Faith

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, we’re joined by Kevin, who shares his journey of growing up in a strict Southern Baptist community while navigating his identity as a gay man. Kevin opens up about his struggles with faith, the emotional toll of reconciling religious teachings with his identity, and how he ultimately found peace and authenticity outside of organized religion. This is a story of courage, resilience, and the pursuit of truth.

To hear more from Keven, follow him on IG @kevenrafael__

00:00 - Welcome to the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast
00:12 - Meet Kevin: Southern Baptist Upbringing
00:25 - Childhood Faith and Religious Expectations
00:59 - Realizing Identity: Early Struggles
03:32 - Reconciling Faith with Sexuality
08:14 - Gradual Doubts and Intellectual Journey
16:00 - Deconstructing Religious Beliefs
28:00 - Finding Peace Outside of Faith

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we sit down with an independent Catholic priest from the White Robe Monks of St. Benedict. Discover the story of how he found his calling in the independent Catholic movement, the challenges he faced as a queer person of faith, and the incredible work being done to bring compassion, inclusion, and spirituality to underserved communities. Whether you're curious about independent Catholicism, searching for spiritual connection, or inspired by stories of resilience, this episode offers deep insights and heartfelt conversations.

To talk directly with Father Eugene-Joshua, visit https://wrmosb.co.za/ or follow his Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61569011062968&mibextid=ZbWKwL

0:00 - Meet the White Robe Monks of St. Benedict
0:24 - What Is the Independent Catholic Movement?
1:08 - A Journey of Faith: From Pentecostalism to Independent Catholicism
8:28 - Balancing Queerness and Spirituality
20:22 - Compassionate Ministry: Serving the Community
28:45 - Finding Hope in Humanity and Faith
33:00 - How to Connect with an Independent Catholic Church

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this thought-provoking episode, we sit down with Barefooter, a minister in the Anglican tradition and a trans individual, to discuss their unique journey of faith and identity. From a childhood immersed in Protestant traditions to grappling with gender and sexuality, our guest explores the challenges of aligning personal truth with theological tradition. Join us for an honest and insightful conversation about theology, community, and the complexities of being fully human.

00:00 - Welcome and Introduction
00:06 - Barefoot Her's Religious Upbringing
00:27 - Personal Faith and Church Culture
00:56 - Discovering Gender Identity
02:00 - Theology, Tradition, and Gender
04:44 - Navigating Shame and Grace
07:12 - Faith as a Tool for Integration
11:37 - Final Reflections on Faith and Identity

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

The FSSP (Fraternitas Sacerdotalis Sancti Petri) is a little known group of traditionalist who lead me to trying to join an ancient order of Carmelites and never see the outside world again. These two groups have held onto the customs, beliefs, and practices of the high-medieval Catholic Church. Here's a psychological reflection on how high-control religions work.

00:00 - Intro
01:04 - Why I Was Susceptible
04:26 - A Sense of Belonging
06:37 - Weaponization of Language
08:53 - Simple Meta-Narrative
11:23 - Undiagnosed Neurodivergence
14:28 - Being in the Closet
15:53 - Cognitive Re-Programming
22:03 - Final Thoughts

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

The Catholic Church offers no solution for queer folks who follow its teachings, besides celibacy. There is no proven, approved way that a catholic can life their life following church teaching without getting in trouble with the church or laity. Nobody can agree on what to do except wait for heaven.

00:00 - Intro
00:25 - Background Documents
01:41 - You Can't Be a Priest
03:44 - You Can't Get Married
04:29 - Singleness Isn't a Vocation
07:01 - You Can't Make Real Friends
09:13 - You Are Defective
11:46 - You're Their Guinea Pig
13:59 - Final Warning

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Father Mike Schmitz (celebrity catholic priest) uses chairs to demonstrate teleology, and then makes anti-gay arguments from Theology of the Body. This approach fails in so many ways, and I don't think chairs are our best proof of teleology.

I (a gay ex-traditional catholic apologist) give my reaction to his wild takes on teleology. This is the talk that convinced me when I was much younger to not be gay, so I figured I'd be fun to start my video-essays with an emotional reaction to his talk.

00:00-01:12 - intro
01:12-03:35 - don’t violate the nature of things
03:35-04:44 - sex is only for procreation
06:44-08:44 - his brother came out as gay
08:44-10:33 - settle with just being friends
10:33-11:45 - just be happy
11:46-12:25 - my thoughts as a gay ex-catholic

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

What if you're gay but don't want to be gay? Jason Evert has the perfect solution, just hate yourself. He gives us a 'third option' to homosexuality where you can hate yourself, but publicly. Someone please patent this man's genius methods and scientific tests of what marriage must include.

But in all seriousness, Jason Evert is the Final Boss of catholic apologists who do nothing but create word salads to confuse people and pad church teaching. He's the one that started me down the catholic rabbit-hole of chastity speakers & how to deal with SSA, so I figured I'd give a humorous response to his Ascension Presents video.

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Join us as we dive deep with Brandon Robertson, a leading voice in progressive Christianity, to explore the intersection of faith, identity, and sexuality. From his journey out of evangelicalism to becoming a queer pastor and theologian, Brandon shares his challenges, insights, and the liberating message of his new book, Queer and Christian. Whether you're deconstructing your faith or seeking new perspectives, this episode will inspire and challenge your thinking.

To pre-order Brandon's book and connect with his work, visit http://queerchristian.org/.

00:00 - Welcome: Introducing Brandon Robertson and the topic of faith and sexuality.
00:11 - Brandon’s Journey: From evangelical roots to queer theologian.
00:52 - Finding God Beyond Boundaries: Brandon’s perspective on deconstruction and faith.
02:20 - What is God?: A Christian agnostic’s view of divinity.
04:45 - Challenges of Deconstruction: Facing fear and rebuilding identity.
08:10 - The Queer Community as Sacred Space: Embracing liberation and authenticity.
13:22 - Navigating Faith with Family: Balancing identity and tradition.
16:54 - The Future of Progressive Faith: Brandon’s vision and new book

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we sit down with a former Sedevacantist seminarian who opens up about his journey into one of Catholicism's most radical branches, his time in seminary, and the personal struggles that led him to leave the church altogether. From exploring the allure of certainty in faith to confronting deep-seated identity issues, this raw and eye-opening conversation delves into the intersection of belief, control, and personal freedom. Whether you're curious about high-control religious groups or seeking inspiration for your own journey, this episode offers thought-provoking insights and a powerful story of self-discovery.

00:00:00 - Introduction and Welcome
00:00:25 - What is Sedevacantism? A Quick Overview
00:01:54 - Growing Up Fundamentalist: A Journey to Catholicism
00:05:03 - Finding Sedevacantism Online and Entering Seminary
00:15:03 - The Struggles of Seminary Life and Identity
00:25:00 - Leaving Sedevacantism and Facing the Fallout
00:30:00 - Advice for Those Doubting or Leaving High-Control Faiths
00:33:40 - Life After Catholicism: Finding Happiness and Hope

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Let's dive deep into the Catholic Church's controversial teaching on contraception, its roots in outdated philosophies, and the societal impact of enforcing such dogma. From Humanae Vitae to the rise of "Theology of the Body," we'll critically examine how these doctrines shape attitudes toward birth control, women's rights, and personal autonomy. With years of theological study and firsthand experience within the Church, I explore why these teachings don't hold up under scrutiny—and why they're dangerous. Let's discuss how these views connect to the broader right-wing war on contraception and personal freedom.

00:00 - The Catholic Church’s Most Oppressive Document
01:05 - The Church’s Official Teaching on Birth Control
02:04 - Why Non-Catholics Should Care
03:03 - The Philosophy of Natural Law
05:51 - Debunking Natural Law
07:23 - Theology of the Body
10:00 - Scare Tactics and Misinformation
13:35 - The Church vs. Birth Control Science
15:48 - Natural Family Planning (NFP)
19:37 - The Global Consequences of Church Policy
21:42 - The Real Reason Behind Church Teachings
25:05 - The Hypocrisy of Church Leaders
27:30 - Empowerment Through Choice
29:33 - Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Why are young catholics sent to conversion therapy? Does the Catholic Church discriminate against gay men? In today's episode, I tell my story of being rejected from becoming a monk for being gay - or as they like to say: experience same-sex attraction. My co-hosts Colin (raised FSSP) and Ben (discerned a vocation) help me explain where the church stands on this issue.

00:00:00 - Introduction: Gay Men and the Priesthood Controversy
00:00:30 - The Reality: Many Priests Are Gay
00:00:50 - Personal Stories: Discerning While Gay
00:01:17 - Church Teachings and the 2005 Document
00:03:13 - The Italian Bishops' Conference: What Was Actually Said
00:05:52 - Deep-Seated vs. Transitory Homosexual Tendencies
00:15:27 - Vocational Struggles for Gay Catholics
00:25:35 - The Church’s Role in Conversion Therapy
00:36:14 - Linking Homosexuality to Abuse: A False Narrative
(I got lazy about creating chapters beyond that mark, haha)

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Jason—a long-time friend, ultramarathoner, and secular Buddhist—to explore life beyond dogma. We dive deep into questions of meaning, suffering, and personal transformation. Jason shares his journey from childhood trauma, addiction, and depression to healing, self-acceptance, and the liberating philosophy of secular Buddhism.

We tackle the fear of leaving behind rigid belief systems, the reality of self-imposed suffering, and the beauty of finding your own path. Whether you’re deconstructing faith, seeking purpose, or just curious about running 200+ miles through the wilderness, this conversation is for you.

🔹 The illusion of certainty in religion
🔹 What it really means to "find yourself"
🔹 The power of suffering as a teacher
🔹 Ultramarathons as a metaphor for life
🔹 Reframing trauma and choosing a new narrative

If you’ve ever questioned what’s next after faith—or just want to hear an incredible journey of resilience—this episode is a must-listen.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction & Guest Introduction
01:18 – Why People Fear Leaving Religion
03:06 – What If Life Has No Meaning?
05:00 – Creating Meaning vs. Finding It
10:59 – The Role of Suffering in Growth
15:31 – How Religion Becomes a Coping Mechanism
17:30 – Hitting Rock Bottom: Alcoholism & Trauma
22:40 – Running From Pain vs. Facing It
29:09 – The Turning Point: Therapy & Healing
33:56 – How Trauma Affects the Brain
40:17 – The Difference Between Pain & Suffering
41:44 – Living in the Present: The Power of Mindfulness
47:10 – What Therapy is REALLY Like
50:48 – Running 250 Miles—Why Choose to Suffer?
54:55 – The Mental Side of Ultra-Endurance
59:46 – The Freedom of Letting Go
1:04:05 – Choosing Your Own Path & Building Community
1:10:22 – Finding Belonging Outside of Religion
1:12:03 – How to Start Living YOUR Life Today
1:28:18 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Catholic apologist Trent Horn recently posted a video titled "The Sex Questions Almost No One Can Answer", where he attempts to justify Catholic sexual ethics using Natural Law philosophy. But are these arguments sound?

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As a former devout Catholic and apologist, I break down the flaws in this ideology and show how these outdated beliefs impact real people—through shame, control, and even political legislation.

From ‘intrinsic evils’ to absurd rules on contraception, let's talk about why these arguments don't hold up and why you don’t have to buy into them.

If you enjoy this content and want to support my work, join my Patreon for exclusive access to my Discord community of ex-Catholics, queer folks, and free thinkers. Let's have these conversations where they matter.

Patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad
Podcast: Intrinsically Ordered (Available on all major platforms)
Socials: @GayExTrad

00:00 - A Catholic Apologist's "Unanswerable" Sex Question
01:35 - Why Non-Catholics Should Care
02:23 - The Weird Catholic Obsession with Sex
04:09 - Does Feeling Disgusted = Morally Wrong?
06:42 - The Catholic “Natural Law” Scam
08:32 - The Ethics of Consent vs. Catholic Control
11:07 - The Debate Trick Catholics Always Use
14:22 - Catholic Sexual Rules Are Wild
18:07 - Sex, Marriage & Fertility: The Catholic Hypocrisy
23:35 - The Rise of Catholic Theocracy in Politics
29:18 - Leaving Catholicism & Finding Freedom

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this video, I break down my debate with Michael Knowles on Jubilee about the topic of same-sex marriage, philosophy, and conservative ideology. We go deep into metaphysics, logic, and how anti-LGBT arguments are structured to sound airtight—but fall apart under scrutiny.

Michael and I come from the same religious movement, and I used to believe the same things he argues today. But as I studied philosophy and deconstructed my faith, I realized just how flimsy these arguments are.

Stick with me as we explore nominalism vs. realism, the Texas sharpshooter fallacy, and why Michael’s claims on metaphysical reality don’t hold up. This video will equip you to counter these arguments in everyday conversations and protect our rights from bad-faith actors.

00:00 - Introduction: My Debate with Michael Knowles
02:30 - The Core Argument: Does Gay Marriage Exist?
06:45 - Michael’s First Mistake: The Realism vs. Nominalism Trap
11:20 - The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy: Cherry-Picking History
15:55 - Why Metaphysics Can’t Define Legal Marriage
21:10 - The Logical Impossibility Fallacy (And Why It’s B.S.)
26:40 - Why Michael’s Argument is Ultimately Religious, Not Logical
32:15 - Final Thoughts: How to Counter These Arguments IRL

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

After years of grappling with this question, I finally have an answer—thanks to Interstellar. This film unknowingly lays out the six conditions that could actually convince me a higher intelligence exists. But even if that were true… would it lead me to religion?

Join me as I break down the philosophy, science, and religious implications behind Interstellar’s mysterious guiding force—and why it’s still a better "God" than any religious claim I’ve ever heard.

00:00 - My Journey from Catholicism to Atheism
00:24 - Interstellar and the Idea of God
01:17 - The Ghost in Interstellar: A Clear Communication
02:48 - The First Condition: Intelligent, Direct Communication
05:16 - The Second Condition: Supernatural but Measurable Events
06:12 - The Third Condition: Useful, Non-Trivial Knowledge
07:37 - The Problem of Divine Hiddenness
09:03 - Even If God Exists, Religion Still Fails
10:51 - The Leap from God to Religious Dogma

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Does faith require evidence, or is experience enough? In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Noah from  ⁨@Jesus_and_Whatnot⁩   to debate Catholicism, the role of suffering, religious disagreement, and whether faith can be rationally justified. We dive into the toughest questions:

Does the Catholic Church have clear moral teachings, or is it all contradiction?
Why does God allow suffering, and is it truly necessary?
If the Pope is infallible, why do Catholics disagree on so much?
What would it take for an atheist to believe in God again?

🔥 This discussion goes deep into Catholic apologetics, philosophical arguments, and the personal journeys that shape our beliefs. Whether you're Catholic, atheist, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge your thinking!

00:00 – Intro & Guest Introduction
02:15 – What Led You to Question Catholicism?
08:30 – The Problem of Religious Disagreement
15:10 – Can the Church Be Unified When Even Priests Disagree?
21:45 – The Role of the Pope in Resolving Confusion
28:20 – Does Faith Require Evidence?
34:10 – Why Does God Allow Suffering?
41:00 – The Catholic Church’s Rules on Marriage & Morality
48:30 – If God is Real, Why Doesn’t He Make Himself Clear?
55:40 – Can the Church Even Define Mortal Sin?
1:02:25 – Why Doesn’t the Pope Answer Dubia (Doctrinal Questions)?
1:08:45 – What Would Convince an Atheist to Believe Again?
1:14:00 – Does Religion Make Life Better or Worse?
1:19:30 – Is Catholicism’s Appeal Just Suffering & Submission?
1:22:10 – Final Thoughts & Wrap-Up

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I got to sit down with a professional catholic apologist to have perhaps the most comprehensive discussion on natural law & gay marriage. We originally planned an hour discussion on a number of topics but found enough to get into just on this issue - and then went for almost two hours. I enjoyed having a thoughtful, long-form discussion on such an emotional topic. Joe's liked talking enough with me that he'll be posted the entire conversation on his channel - so perhaps we'll have an influx of dialogues with other prominent apologists.

(00:00) - Catholic Sexual Ethics and LGBTQ Rights
(11:43) - Natural Law and Catholic Sexual Ethics
(21:43) - Ethical Frameworks in LGBTQ Dialogue
(26:10) - Moral Absolutes in Societal Legislation
(33:21) - The Biological Basis of Marriage
(41:30) - Defining Marriage and Parenting Rights
(46:14) - State Interest in Marriage Potency
(50:16) - Legal Recognitions of Marriage Potency
(01:01:36) - Sexual Double Standards and Societal Morality
(01:08:08) - Exploring Ethics in LGBTQ Relationships
(01:19:28) - Same-Sex Marriage and Family Dynamics
(01:23:51) - Exploring Marriage Potency and Legal Recognition

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Are Catholic sacraments truly channels of divine grace—or just powerful human rituals? In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we question the supernatural claims behind sacraments like baptism and marriage. With guest Colin, we explore their historical roots, psychological impact, and striking similarities to rituals in other cultures. From a botched baptism to the Church’s evolving rules, we unpack what these rites really mean and why they matter. Join us for a critical, respectful look at belief, ritual, and the fine line between faith and magic.

(00:00) - Critique of Catholic Sacraments
(07:35) - Deeper Understanding of Catholic Sacraments
(19:49) - Exploring Catholic Sacraments and Belief
(31:16) - Complexities of Catholic Sacraments
(35:47) - Development of Catholic Sacraments
(39:50) - Sacraments as Ritual Magic
(44:52) - Significance of Catholic Rituals
(51:11) - Religious Unity and Understanding

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For years, I begged God to make me straight. I read every book, watched every lecture, and tried every method of "healing." But what if being queer isn’t something to fix? What if it's something you could choose — not out of rebellion, but out of love, honesty, and freedom?
In this deeply personal episode, I reflect on my journey from internalized homophobia to joyful self-acceptance, from Catholic doctrine to queer community. We explore the concept of identity, the weight of “coming out,” and what it really means to choose love — without conditions.

00:00 – I Begged God to Make Me Straight  
01:23 – Would I Choose to Be Straight Now?  
02:07 – Growing Up Catholic and Closeted  
03:01 – “I Am” vs. “I Experience”  
04:13 – Why Christians Fear the Words “I Am Gay”  
05:14 – Identity, Honesty, and the Label “Queer”  
07:42 – The Fork in the Road: Queer vs. Christian Paths  
10:09 – Why I Chose the Queer Path — And Found Life

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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In today's episode, I unpack the mental model I use when Christians try to impose their beliefs—especially around queer rights. I compare their moral arguments to veganism (yes, really) to show how the more forcefully someone wants to control others, the more evidence they need to bring to the table. Faith alone doesn’t cut it.

I walk through four levels of moral imperatives and the kind of proof each one demands. From personal convictions to theocratic dogma, I explain why your certainty should match your evidence—especially if you're trying to take away my rights. This isn’t just theology—it’s epistemology.

00:00 – I Treat Homophobic Christians Like Vegans
00:30 – What Counts as a Moral Imperative?
01:00 – My Journey: From Latin Mass to Deconstruction
01:36 – Level 1: Personal Belief Requires No Proof
02:57 – Level 2: Gentle Advocacy Needs Some Evidence
05:02 – Level 3: Telling Others What to Do? Prove It.
07:46 – Level 4: Forcing Belief = Irrefutable Proof Required
10:50 – Don't Get Stuck in the Weeds—Know the Burden
13:00 – Final Advice for Deconstructing Listeners

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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Join the community and join the group discussion on discord: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

As someone who was once a zealous traditional Catholic—praying daily rosaries, attending Latin Mass, and even discerning monastic life—I've since deconverted and now reflect critically on the movement from personal experience.

This isn’t a theological takedown. It’s a candid, off-the-cuff reflection on what I saw inside the movement, why it appeals to so many (especially young people and converts), and the serious questions it raises about growth, retention, and cultural relevance.

We’ll cover: Why the movement feels powerful but might not be sustainable, the illusion of rapid growth in Latin Mass parishes, why many kids raised traditionally still leave the Church, the tight link between American conservatism and traditional Catholicism, how convert zeal often idealizes tradition without fully understanding it, whether you’re deep in the trad world, newly curious, or trying to make sense of what’s happening in the Church today, I hope this video gives you something to think about.

00:00 Personal Background and Deconversion
00:48 Setting the Stage: Traditional Catholicism
02:26 The Appeal and Growth of the Movement
02:58 Why This Topic Matters
03:36 Personal Journey Through Traditional Catholicism
05:39 Lack of Data and Personal Observations
06:52 Illusion of Traditional Growth
10:18 Retention and Conversion Issues
12:24 Geographical and Political Context
16:27 Convert Dominated Movement
19:23 Mental Health and Traditionalism
21:57 Interpersonal Issues in the Movement
22:43 Surface Level Kindness and Parish Politics
25:21 Cult-like Dynamics and Isolation
26:58 Performative Holiness and Scrupulosity
29:58 Intellectualism and Apologetics
31:59 Misconceptions of Happiness and Fulfillment
39:44 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with guest Cameron Riecker, a prominent Catholic YouTuber, discuss the complexities and uncertainties within Catholic moral teaching. We dive deep into the distinctions between venial and mortal sins, the ambiguity in moral guidelines, and the impact of these ambiguities on the lives of faithful Catholics. Cameron shares his personal journey into Catholicism and offers his perspective on dealing with moral dilemmas and church teachings. The conversation touches on practical examples such as the morality of certain sexual acts within marriage and what is permissible on Sundays, highlighting the challenges of living a Catholic life amid differing interpretations and teachings.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
01:37 Discussion on Venial vs. Mortal Sins
05:17 Examples of Disagreement Among Catholics
07:47 Analogies and Moral Principles
10:44 Debating Moral Ambiguities
12:31 The Role of Church Authority and Flexibility
19:20 Moral Obligations and Reduced Culpability
27:22 Debating Catholic Teachings on Foreplay
28:00 Historical Context and Church Rulings
29:18 Moral Obligations and Church Authority
30:38 Controversies on Sunday Activities
31:26 Theological Nuances and Personal Interpretations
34:56 Pragmatic Concerns and Faith
41:03 God's Will and Human Understanding
51:01 Closing Thoughts and Reflections

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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In this episode, I discuss my journey from being a traditional Catholic to questioning and ultimately leaving the faith. I delve into the ambiguities and contradictions within Catholic teachings about sin and morality. Sharing personal stories, I highlight the lack of clarity on what actions might lead someone to hell. Using a Spider-Man meme analogy, I illustrate the contradictory views held by different Catholic authorities. I question the Church's claims of having definitive answers to moral issues, pointing out the inconsistencies and confusion among priests and church documents. Join me as I explore these complexities and talk about how my life has improved since moving away from fundamentalist Catholicism.

00:00 Introduction: A Personal Story
00:33 Questioning Catholic Teachings
00:56 About the Channel
01:18 Understanding Catholic Sins
03:20 The Spider-Man Meme: Illustrating Contradictions
04:43 The Confusion of Catholic Doctrine
05:55 The Gray Areas of Morality
07:59 The Subjectivity of Sin
09:24 Conclusion: Moving Beyond Traditional Catholicism

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Leaving a fundamentalist or conservative form of Catholicism is more than just walking away from a church—it’s walking away from an entire worldview, identity, and sometimes your community. In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Evelyn from the podcast Leave Laugh Love joins us for an honest, vulnerable, and occasionally funny conversation about leaving faith as a queer person. We talk about the emotional process of leaving, what healing looks like, building a new life, and practical steps for anyone questioning their faith. Whether you’re deconstructing, doubting, or just curious, this is for you.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:27 Evelyn's Background and Journey
01:30 Starting the Podcast and Providing Resources
02:11 Personal Stories of Faith and Doubt
03:20 Understanding Fundamentalist Catholicism
05:50 The Process of Deconstruction
08:49 Navigating Relationships and Friendships
15:54 Making Practical Plans to Leave
18:19 The Role of Therapy and Support Networks
25:00 Life After Leaving Religion
38:09 Sunday Mornings Without Mass
38:35 Navigating Belief and Morality
39:06 Empathy and Self-Discovery
41:44 Finding Purpose After Leaving Religion
42:47 Exploring New Communities and Hobbies
44:34 Redefining Life and Meaning
49:20 Grieving and Reconstructing
52:17 Navigating Relationships Post-Religion
55:42 Embracing a New Life
01:05:23 Final Thoughts and Resources

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Minh (  @Kenapologeticscatholic   ) a Catholic apologist and street evangelist, for one of the most intense and philosophical debates I’ve had on the show. We dive deep into the question of homosexuality from Catholic, secular, and philosophical angles—covering everything from natural law, metaethics, and sexual ethics to kink, bestiality, and gender abolition.

As a queer ex-Catholic, I challenge Minh on the idea that gay sex is somehow less moral or meaningful. Minh presents two dense arguments based on Catholic philosophy—and I try to pull them apart with both real-world data and a more progressive ethical lens.

This one isn’t for the faint of heart—but it’s a vital, rigorous discussion about what it means to be moral, sexual, and human.

YouTube: youtube.com/@kenapologeticscatholic
Instagram: kenio02
Gmail: minhhoangkinhthanh@gmail.com
Discord: kenapologeticscatholic

0:00 – Introducing Minh & the Debate Framework
3:12 – My Argument: Homosexuality Doesn’t Cause Harm
7:30 – Minh’s Claim: Morality Needs God
12:42 – Can You Prove Gay Relationships Are Good?
19:05 – “The Slavery Analogy” – Minh’s First Counter
24:40 – The Burden of Proof Debate
30:18 – Minh’s Argument #1: Bisexuality is Morally Preferable
40:11 – I Respond: Love Isn’t a Math Problem
47:50 – Minh’s Argument #2: Empty Pleasure & Gay Sex
59:15 – Can Gay Love Be Romantic Without Reproduction?
1:05:22 – Ice Cream, Moms, and Lesbian Dates
1:12:10 – Consent, Sex, and Society’s Role
1:18:44 – Closing Thoughts & Where to Find Minh

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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Pope Francis has passed. And as someone who was once on the path to becoming a conservative Catholic priest—and now lives openly as a gay man—his death hits hard. In this video, I break down what Pope Francis actually did for LGBTQ Catholics. From his famous “Who am I to judge?” to his quiet yet revolutionary support of queer ministries, this pope changed the vibe of the church, even if he never changed the doctrine.

For outsiders, it may be hard to grasp how radical just saying “You are welcome here” really was. In this episode, I reflect on his legacy, what’s at stake in the election of the next pope, and why so many LGBTQ Catholics now feel uncertain and afraid.

If you want to join the conversation, hop in my Discord or support this work on Patreon

00:00 Introduction and Personal Background
00:36 Pope Francis' Approach to LGBTQ Issues
01:04 Key Moments and Quotes from Pope Francis
01:45 Pope Francis' Actions
02:35 Impact on LGBTQ Catholics
04:02 Pope Francis' Legacy and Media Strategy
06:33 Concerns About the Future of the Church
09:08 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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Pope Francis has passed—and within hours, I sat down with Justin from Empty Chairs for an off-the-cuff emergency podcast. As a gay ex-Catholic and a gay current Catholic, we unpack Pope Francis’s complicated legacy on LGBTQ issues. Did he really change anything? Did he do enough? Or was it all just nice-sounding words with no lasting impact?

We talk about our own experiences inside the Church, from being denied vocations to being fired for our sexuality. We also dive into the real theological documents vs. the media narrative, and what the Church might look like under the next Pope.

If you want an honest, emotionally raw, and well-informed queer Catholic perspective—you’re in the right place.

00:00 Introduction and Emergency Podcast Setup
00:46 Initial Reactions to Pope Francis' Passing
02:05 Pope Francis' Legacy on Queer Issues
03:06 Media Reactions and Public Perception
04:06 The 'Who Am I to Judge?' Controversy
05:53 Pope Francis' Ambiguity and Pastoral Approach
07:29 Conservative Backlash and Church Politics
09:06 Pope Francis' Stance on Homosexuality and Church Teachings
11:26 Personal Stories and Church Discrimination
22:45 Pope Francis' Impact on Vocations and Priestly Celibacy
27:35 Addressing the Pope's Controversial Statements
28:22 Personal Experiences with Church Rejection
29:28 Pope Francis' Legacy and Impact
30:37 Hopes and Fears for the Next Pope
33:40 Challenges for LGBTQ+ Catholics
38:53 The Future of the Catholic Church
42:42 Final Thoughts and Personal Reflections

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In this critical follow-up to our earlier reflections on Pope Francis’s passing, three gay ex-Catholics break down the truth behind the progressive myth. While headlines hail him as a revolutionary, we ask: did anything actually change for queer Catholics? From catechism clauses to conversion therapy, brunch with trans folks to doctrinal silence—this episode confronts the carefully curated optics of compassion.

We’re not here to hate—just to tell the truth. What could have changed? What stayed the same? What harm still hides behind a smile? Tune in to hear three ex-believers decode the Vatican’s most PR-friendly pope.

00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic
01:00 Initial Reactions to Pope Francis
03:01 Personal Journeys and Opinions
06:09 Pope Francis' Actions and Inactions
10:04 The Church's Stance on LGBT Issues
17:13 Comparing Traditional and Progressive Catholics
22:43 Pope Francis' Legacy and Future Implications
26:44 Cultural Significance of the Latin Mass
28:18 Pope Francis' Stance on Homosexuality
29:16 The Future of Pope Francis' Legacy
31:13 The Church's Harmful Teachings on LGBTQ+ Issues
32:30 Pope Francis' Missed Opportunities for Change
37:49 The Catholic Church's Influence and Power
39:42 Pope Francis' Actions and Inactions
46:22 Concluding Thoughts on Pope Francis
50:46 Final Remarks and Farewell

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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