Husband Material (Drew Boa)
Explore every episode of Husband Material
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 14 Feb 2022 | How To Reframe A Porn Relapse | 00:15:26 | |
What's the best way to respond to a relapse into porn, either for yourself or for a friend? In this episode, you'll learn the power of viewing relapse as feedback (not failure), the benefits of a growth mindset (not a fixed mindset), and the 3 types of feedback you must receive.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 21 Feb 2022 | Rags To Riches To Ruin To Redemption (with Dr. Joe Martin) | 01:05:48 | |
"You can't possibly hate yourself more than I love you. You can try, but it ain't gonna happen. You can try, but I have until eternity. You don't. How long do you wanna keep playing this game of the pity party and this shame when I got so much more planned for you?" —Dr. Joe Martin
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 28 Feb 2022 | The Power Of Identity (with Sathiya Sam) | 00:44:42 | |
Who are you? What defines you? Performance? Porn addiction? Sexual attraction? In this episode, Sathiya Sam reveals the power of having a secure identity, how to strengthen your sense of self, and why he recommends self-care using the 5 love languages.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 07 Mar 2022 | Vulnerability 101 (LIVE) | 00:47:15 | |
What is true vulnerability? Why is it so important? When is it safe? And how can I get better at it? In this episode, I answer all these questions and more...
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 14 Mar 2022 | Toxic Shame vs. Healthy Shame (with Dr. Jake Porter) | 00:41:24 | |
Is there such a thing as healthy shame? How can we heal from toxic shame? In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter shares eye-opening answers to these questions from science and scripture.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 21 Mar 2022 | How Does God View My Body? (with Matt Cline) | 00:39:13 | |
What does God think about my face, my gut, and my penis? In this episode, Matt Cline unpacks what the Bible says about our bodies—why they have value, and how we can reclaim the parts we don't like.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 28 Mar 2022 | Why Didn’t I Like Vaginas? | 00:19:27 | |
If you’re not attracted to typical porn, have you ever wondered why? In this episode, I explore the roots of my negative association with female sexual parts due to purity culture, parents, peers, princesses, and porn.
To understand how purity culture keeps men trapped in porn, take my free mini-course at outgrowporn.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 04 Apr 2022 | Healing Racial Trauma (with Sheila Wise Rowe) | 00:40:24 | |
What is racial trauma? How does it affect us all, and what does healing look like? In this episode, Sheila Wise Rowe shares insights and stories about how racial trauma can be healed.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 11 Apr 2022 | The Blessing Of Being Reported (with Rich Moore) | 00:31:29 | |
What if being reported for criminal sexual activity can be a blessing? In this episode, Rich Moore explains how being reported saved his life and propelled him into healing. Rich also reveals how to know if you should report yourself or someone else to local authorities.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 18 Apr 2022 | How To Heal Your Inner Child: Older Brother Coaching | 01:04:32 | |
What if you could become a loving older brother to your inner child? In this episode, you'll discover how to do this through Older Brother Coaching.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 25 Apr 2022 | The Gospel And Trauma (with Matt Wenger) | 01:06:20 | |
How does the gospel interact with trauma? In this episode, Matt Wenger explains a Christ-centered and clinically innovative approach to healing trauma and outgrowing pornography.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 02 May 2022 | Porn And Centering Prayer (with Matthew Lyda) | 00:35:24 | |
What is centering prayer? How can it help us when we're triggered or preoccupied? In this episode, Matthew Lyda explains the 4 Rs of centering prayer:
Matthew Lyda is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional and a poet. He is the author of Recover The Wild: Unfiltered Poems And Prayers (paid link). Matthew is also trained as a mental health & life purpose coach. Take Matthew's free 5-day course on centering prayer here.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 09 May 2022 | Should I Count The Days Since I Last Used Porn? | 00:21:23 | |
Let me help you decide if “counting the days” is right for you. In this episode, you'll learn 2 bad reasons to count, 3 good reasons to count, and what works for me... If you loved this episode, you will probably love my book, Redeemed Sexuality. Buy it here (this is a paid link): Redeemed Sexuality: 12 Sessions For Healing And Transformation In Community.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 16 May 2022 | Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire (with Dr. Doug Carpenter) | 00:15:43 | |
What is the difference between sexual arousal and sexual desire, and why does it matter? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter powerfully explains this concept and why it is absolutely essential for outgrowing porn.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 23 May 2022 | Becoming Emotionally Mature (with Dr. Eddie Capparucci) | 00:39:17 | |
What is emotional maturity? How can we increase our emotional intelligence? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci explains the three components of emotional maturity, why men struggle to love, and what we can do about it.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 30 May 2022 | Long Distance Friendship (with Drew, Stephen, Marcus, and Mike) | 00:45:25 | |
Do you ever wish your friends lived closer? In today's world, long distance friendship is more possible and pervasive than ever. What are the blessings and drawbacks of this? In this episode, Husband Material coaches talk about how to maximize authentic connection, both long distance and locally.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 06 Jun 2022 | Why Porn Is A Solution (with Matt Dobschuetz) | 00:37:09 | |
You'll never outgrow porn if you believe it's the problem. In this episode, Matt Dobschuetz explains why porn is a solution, and the surprising reason why one particular type of porn has appealed to him. This man overflows with kindness and hope!
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 13 Jun 2022 | Get Your Man Cards (with Henry Brown) | 00:46:55 | |
Men are lonely. How can we develop deeper friendships? Introducing Man Cards: a card deck of conversation starters for men designed by Drew Boa and Henry Brown. In this episode, Drew and Henry introduce Man Cards and show you how to use them.
Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 20 Jun 2022 | The Five Types Of Intimacy | 00:17:42 | |
What is intimacy? How can I find it? Most intimacy is not sexual. Most intimacy is spiritual, social, emotional, mental, and physical. Learn why each type of intimacy matters, and how to experience each one without sex or porn.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 27 Jun 2022 | Redeeming Heartache (with Cathy Loerzel) | 00:46:09 | |
Heartache has a pattern, and so does healing. Author and therapist Cathy Loerzel explains the 3 types of heartache, and a powerful path to healing for each one. Learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 04 Jul 2022 | Neglect: Hidden Trauma (with Stephen Thomas) | 00:50:49 | |
How do I know if I was neglected? And what can I do about it? Stephen Thomas unpacks 6 types of neglect, why neglect fuels shame and addiction, and what we can do as we recognize ways we have been neglected.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 11 Jul 2022 | Outgrowing Porn From A To Z (Part 1) | 00:25:54 | |
In this episode, you'll learn 13 key concepts for outgrowing porn based on the first 13 letters of the alphabet. Check out the list below for further information about each key concept (including paid links):
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 18 Jul 2022 | Outgrowing Porn From A To Z (Part 2) | 00:26:34 | |
N is for Ninety Days
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 25 Jul 2022 | Internal Family Systems And Jesus (with Kim Miller) | 00:48:06 | |
Are you frustrated by internal conflict? Tired of being overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings? Kim Miller explains a Christ-centered approach to internal family systems (IFS). You'll learn the 5 steps of "taking a you-turn" so every part of you can encounter Jesus and be led by your Spirit-led self.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 01 Aug 2022 | How To Teach Children About Sexuality (with Adam + Karissa King) | 00:49:19 | |
What should sex education look like in today's world? Adam and Karissa King explain why parents must teach children about sexuality from a young age—and how to make these conversations easy, effective, and even fun.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 08 Aug 2022 | How To Track Your Heart (with Josh Glaser) | 00:35:07 | |
How do you discover the deeper roots underneath surface-level sexual symptoms? Josh Glaser guides us in "tracking the heart," revealing where unwanted thoughts, feelings, and behaviors come from.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 15 Aug 2022 | What Does The Bible Say About Purity? (LIVE) | 00:33:18 | |
The word "purity" must be defined without the damaging messages of purity culture. In this episode, I'll explain 3 types of purity in the Bible. I'll also share a vulnerable story about my own lack of purity. Then at the end, I'll answer questions and clarify the true meaning of purity.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 22 Aug 2022 | Bent On Men, Part 1 (with Harrison Bly) | 00:40:20 | |
What does it look like to untangle unwanted same-sex attraction toward men? Harrison Bly grew up "too gay to be Christian, too Christian to be gay." In this episode, Harrison shares vulnerable stories from boyhood that shed light on why and how he sexualized masculinity.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 29 Aug 2022 | Bent On Men, Part 2 (with Harrison Bly) | 00:29:08 | |
What does redemption look like for men who experience unwanted same-sex attraction? Harrison Bly grew up "too gay to be Christian, too Christian to be gay." In this episode, Harrison shares his story of freedom through vulnerability, sonship, brotherhood, and redefining masculinity.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 06 Sep 2022 | Attunement: The Key To Connection | 00:29:54 | |
Attunement is the ability to be aware of and respond to another person's needs—and our own needs, too. In this episode, you'll learn the building blocks of good attunement, why over-attunement is unhelpful and exhausting, and how to practically sharpen your attunement skills and improve your relationships.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 12 Sep 2022 | Healing From Sexual Betrayal (with Dr. Sheri Keffer) | 00:53:27 | |
What is intimate deception betrayal trauma? Why is it so hard for partners of porn users to get help? When it comes to healing, what (doesn't) work? Dr. Sheri Keffer explains how porn impacts partners—and more importantly, what we can do about it. She even guides you on how to share this episode with your wife or girlfriend without triggering her. If you're married, your wife will love hearing from Dr. Sheri!
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 19 Sep 2022 | Wisdom After Sexual Betrayal (with Marnie Ferree) | 00:31:21 | |
Marnie Ferree understands sex addiction from both sides: from personal experience, and from being a partner. In this episode, Marnie shares her story of grief and growth after discovering her own sexual betrayal trauma.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 26 Sep 2022 | The Beauty Of Brotherhood (Psalm 133) | 00:40:01 | |
Listen to my sermon about embodied brotherhood from the recent Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara.
Watch the original video recording of this episode here.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 03 Oct 2022 | Porn, Anxiety, And Depression (with Ben Bennett) | 00:31:34 | |
Do you know what it's like to struggle with depression or anxiety in addition to porn? Ben Bennett does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Ben unpacks how mental health challenges and unwanted sexual behavior are related. Using a mix of science and Scripture, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important!
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 10 Oct 2022 | From Pain To Purpose (with Rick Carlson) | 00:33:08 | |
Rick Carlson spent years running from pain, hiding from others, and hating God... until everything changed. In this episode, Rick shares his story of prenatal trauma, physical differences, self-hatred, substance abuse, porn use, and his healing journey over the past 12 years.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 17 Oct 2022 | Is Covenant Eyes "Shameware"? | 00:21:10 | |
Anti-porn accountability software has come under scrutiny after an article in WIRED Magazine described Covenant Eyes as "shameware" and "just another way the church controls you.” In this episode, you'll hear what's going on, what I think about accountability software, and how to decide if it's right for you.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 24 Oct 2022 | How Can Fathers And Sons Outgrow Porn Together? (with John Fort and Lucas Fort) | 00:48:14 | |
"Your failure in sexuality is what qualifies you to talk to your son about sex in the first place." In this fascinating episode, a father and son tell their story of learning to talk about emotions and sex together. John and Lucas Fort explain what does(n't) work, what's (not) appropriate, and why imperfection is necessary for connection.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 31 Oct 2022 | Emotional Safety (with Alex Avila) | 00:35:20 | |
"Our most vital relational need is to be emotionally safe...we cannot truly connect with anyone if we don't feel safe in their presence." —Alex Avila
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 07 Nov 2022 | How To Break Up With Porn | 00:11:45 | |
Outgrowing porn is not easy. The process is often messy and prolonged. That's why some men have found value in writing a formal break-up letter to pornography. This episode will give you a simple structure to write your own break-up letter. You can also use this structure to break up with an abusive partner or any other unwanted sexual behavior, fantasy, or attachment.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 14 Nov 2022 | Find The Boy Within The Man (with Chris Bruno) | 00:48:42 | |
Is there really a boy inside every man? What does "healing the boy" practically look like? Chris Bruno delightfully demonstrates how to find your younger self and bring him home. This interview is amazing! You'll come away with greater awareness, curiosity, kindness, and healing.
Take the free assessment:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 21 Nov 2022 | Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse (with Mike Chapman and Dr. Doug Carpenter) | 01:39:45 | |
What's it like to be a male survivor of sexual abuse? In our very first community-based episode, Husband Material men tell their stories of sexual abuse. You'll learn how to respond appropriately to the needs of male survivors.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 28 Nov 2022 | What If I'm Sexually Attracted To Myself? | 00:16:43 | |
Have you been sexually attracted to yourself, or someone just like you? In this episode, you'll learn three types of self-attraction, my own personal story, and what to do if you are sexually attracted to yourself.
Also check out my free video series with Jay Stringer, The Sexual Fantasy Framework: sexualfantasyframework.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 05 Dec 2022 | Authentic Manhood (with Dr. Joe Martin) | 01:00:11 | |
What is a real man? Dr. Joe Martin exposes the lies we believe about our value as men, in contrast to the example of authentic manhood set by Jesus Christ.
Authentic manhood is determined by:
Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, educator, and certified builder of men. He’s the author of nine books and the host of Real Men Connect, the top-rated podcast for Christian men. Learn more at realmenconnect.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 12 Dec 2022 | How To Be A Great Lover (with Dr. Keith Gregoire) | 00:46:22 | |
What does it take to unlock a woman's sexual pleasure? Dr. Keith Gregoire explains how sex actually works, why we need to redefine sex, and how men can become better lovers. Learn more at baremarriage.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 19 Dec 2022 | Emotional Fitness (with Sathiya Sam) | 00:37:29 | |
What's the difference between emotional health and emotional fitness? Why does it matter? In this episode, Sathiya Sam explains what emotional fitness looks like and how you can leverage the added stress of the holiday season to become stronger.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 26 Dec 2022 | How Do I Help My Hurting Spouse? (with Dr. Eddie Capparucci) | 00:53:57 | |
How can I help my partner heal? When she is "throwing rocks" at me, what can I do? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci shares 10 rules for healthy interaction with your grieving partner:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 02 Jan 2023 | Becoming Porn Free In 2023 | 00:12:49 | |
In this episode, I'll recommend 3 resources to help you outgrow porn in 2023. Stay til the end to hear a big announcement about HMA (the doors are closing).
Register now for The Porn Free Man 2023 Online Conference on January 6-7, 2023.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 09 Jan 2023 | Habits That Heal (with Shawn Bonneteau) | 00:38:02 | |
What habits are most helpful for healing and outgrowing porn? In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau presents a beautiful menu of ideas to transform habits without pressure, perfectionism, or "shoulding" all over yourself in 2023.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 16 Jan 2023 | What Types Of Change Are Possible? (with Rich Wyler) | 00:36:29 | |
In this episode, Rich Wyler answers tough questions with curiosity, compassion, and courage. You'll learn what it looks like to work through internal conflict around sexual arousal and personal beliefs. You'll also learn why unconditional love and acceptance is our starting point.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 23 Jan 2023 | Sexual Fluidity And Sexual Plasticity | 00:10:51 | |
In this episode, you'll learn two concepts that can give you less shame and more hope on your journey of outgrowing porn. Resources mentioned in this episode:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 30 Jan 2023 | How Porn Fuels Sex Trafficking (with Benji Nolot) | 00:30:25 | |
In this episode, you'll learn four ways pornography fuels sex trafficking...and what we can do about it. Award-winning filmmaker Benji Nolot reveals what goes on behind the scenes of pornography. Benji Nolot is committed to the abolition of modern-day slavery by campaigning to shift cultural mindsets and laws that would abolish commercial sexual exploitation. He founded Exodus Cry in 2008 after being inspired by the life of William Wilberforce. In everything he does, Benji is driven by a conviction that every person should be free.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 06 Feb 2023 | How Porn Affects Children (with Benji Nolot) | 00:35:54 | |
If you were exposed to porn at a young age, this episode is for you. Award-winning filmmaker Benji Nolot explains why children are not voluntary consumers of porn, and why self-compassion is essential for healing. You'll get a powerful glimpse into the humanity and vulnerability of men and women on both sides of the screen. Benji Nolot is committed to the abolition of modern-day slavery by campaigning to shift cultural mindsets and laws that would abolish commercial sexual exploitation. He founded Exodus Cry in 2008 after being inspired by the life of William Wilberforce. In everything he does, Benji is driven by a conviction that every person should be free. How you can be part of the solution:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 13 Feb 2023 | How Much Does She Need To Know About The Porn? (LIVE) | 00:35:57 | |
Have you ever wondered how much your crush, girlfriend, fiancée, or wife needs to know about your relationship with porn? In this episode, you'll learn the appropriate level of detail to share when you're single, dating, engaged, or married. This episode is challenging and necessary.
NOTE: "If you are a partner, you have a right to request a formal therapeutic full disclosure. You also have a right not to receive a disclosure if you don’t want one." —Vicki Tidwell Palmer
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 20 Feb 2023 | Experience Healing Through IFS (with Dr. Peter Malinoski) | 00:31:15 | |
In this episode, you'll learn why healing experiences are essential for outgrowing porn. Dr. Peter Malinoski explains how the internal family systems model (IFS) can help us heal by meeting the five attachment needs we all have. Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics, a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from porn and masturbation in episodes 51-56 of his podcast. Contact Peter here. Five Attachment Needs:
(from Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - this is a paid link)
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 27 Feb 2023 | Guided IFS Experiential Exercise (with Dr. Peter Malinoski) | 00:32:24 | |
In this episode, you'll be guided through an exercise using the internal family systems model (IFS). Dr. Peter Malinoski demonstrates how to connect with your "parts"—including parts that might be attached to porn and unwanted sexual behavior. Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics, a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from porn and masturbation in episodes 51-56 of his podcast. Contact Peter here. More IFS meditations:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 06 Mar 2023 | Unburdening Sexual Arousal (with Dr. Peter Malinoski) | 01:19:20 | |
In this episode, Dr. Peter Malinoski guides Drew Boa through the process of unburdening sexual arousal using the internal family systems model (IFS). This type of healing experience can bring tremendous freedom from porn and unwanted sexual behavior. Disclaimer: This is what we call a demo, which is short for a demonstration. Demos are a common way for IFS therapists to practice with each other and to show others what IFS is like. Demos are not therapy or counseling. In sharing this demo, we are not trying to teach people how to do IFS on themselves or others, but rather demonstrating what the IFS model can look like in action. Unburdening protocols are taught in formal IFS Level 1 training from the IFS Institute. IFS Level 1 training is required to do unburdening protocols and to be called an IFS therapist. Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics, a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from porn and masturbation in episodes 51-56 of his podcast. Contact Peter here.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 13 Mar 2023 | Bullying And Same-Sex Attraction (with Jordan Castille) | 00:35:10 | |
How can bullying contribute to same-sex attraction? Jordan Castille tells his story of being bullied, how that impacted his sexual development, and how Jesus brought him healing and freedom from gay porn. Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Sex Addiction Specialist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, learning how to fix things, legos, and his church community. Jordan also does one-on-one coaching and small group coaching within the Husband Material Community.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 20 Mar 2023 | Healing From Spiritual Abuse (with Chris Inman) | 00:36:09 | |
In this episode, you'll learn what spiritual abuse is and how to heal from it. Chris Inman tells his story of being spiritual abused as a boy and how it has affected him into adulthood.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 27 Mar 2023 | How Do You Define Pornography? | 00:07:18 | |
In this episode, you'll learn 2 ways to define pornography, 6 pornographic styles of relating, and what it means to be sexually healthy and mature.
Sign up for the Husband Material Virtual Retreat on May 5-7 featuring Andrew Bauman!
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 03 Apr 2023 | Role Playing Betrayal Trauma (with Dr. Eddie Capparucci) | 01:51:33 | |
In this extended episode, you'll hear 8 dramatized examples of mistakes men make while relating to women they have sexually betrayed and traumatized. You'll learn how to offer validation, own your impact, build your confidence, and be proactive. This session from The Porn Free Man Conference will show you exactly what (not) to do to help her heal. Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's also the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP). Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):
Sign up now at husbandmaterial.com/becoming-husband-material
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 10 Apr 2023 | How To Use The Body To Outgrow Porn (with Andrew Bauman) | 00:23:55 | |
In this episode, you'll learn why healing must happen in your body. Andrew Bauman reveals why talk therapy is not enough, what "the body keeps the score" actually means, how to use the body to outgrow porn and real-life examples of embodied healing. This interview is awesome! Andrew Bauman is the founder & director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC). Andrew is an author and licensed mental health counselor with a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Buy any of Andrew's books (these are paid links): Also mentioned in this episode: The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, And Body In The Healing Of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk Interested in healing? Sign up for the upcoming virtual retreat with Andrew Bauman: Becoming Husband Material (May 5-7)
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 17 Apr 2023 | Directing Sexual Energy In Singleness | 00:35:17 | |
What do I do with my sexual energy—especially if I'm single? In this episode, you'll learn the two types of sexual energy, why singleness can feel like a curse, and God’s good design for sexuality in singleness. You'll also hear real life examples of Christian men directing their sexual energy into deeper connection, pleasure, and creativity. Resources mentioned in this episode:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 24 Apr 2023 | Emotional Abuse (with Dr. Jake Porter) | 00:37:40 | |
What is emotional abuse? Dr. Jake Porter explains how to identify emotional abuse, heal from it, and stop emotionally abusing others. Dr. Jake Porter is a Board Certified Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, and the Founder of Daring Ventures. He is also the creator of Couple–Centered Recovery, a model for overcoming attachment wounds in couples experiencing the trauma of betrayal. Connect with Jake at drjakeporter.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 01 May 2023 | Introduction To Outgrowing Porn (wth Dr. Robert Masters) | 00:28:10 | |
What does it mean to outgrow porn? Dr. Robert Masters unpacks this concept (which he created) with stunning depth and clarity. Robert Augustus Masters is a psychotherapist, group leader, and relationship expert with a doctorate in psychology. His intuitive, uniquely integral work, developed over the past four decades, blends the psychological and physical with the emotional and spiritual. Learn more at robertmasters.com. Buy Robert's books (these are paid links):
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 08 May 2023 | Three Keys To Becoming Husband Material | 00:13:05 | |
What does it mean to become husband material? In this episode, you'll learn the importance of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-leadership. Stay until the end for special appearances by 12 Husband Material Men! New opportunities:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 15 May 2023 | Adult Children Of Sex Addicts (with Dr. Ken Adams) | 00:35:05 | |
What happens when you grow up in a family affected by sexual addiction? In this episode, Dr. Ken Adams reveals the burdens carried by adult children of sex addicts. This conversation is especially helpful for those of us who inherited sexual shame from our parents. You'll learn why and how to release shame that has been passed down to you...and how to stop the cycle of generational trauma. Dr. Ken Adams is a world-renowned therapist and expert on sexual addiction, shame, and enmeshment. Learn more at drkenadams.com Buy the first-ever book for adult children of sex addicts (this is a paid link): A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Kenneth Adams, Mary Meyer, and Culle Vande Garde
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 22 May 2023 | Healing With My Parents (with Yvonne Boa and Sandy Boa) | 00:31:56 | |
In this episode, my parents share the good and the bad of how they raised me, and how we are healing. It's a story of vulnerability, repentance, and redemption. "All families have difficulties. If you bury them, you grow apart. If you get them on the table and solve them, then you can heal from that." —Sandy Boa "Don't be afraid to go to the person and ask for forgiveness, because God's healing you and he's gonna heal the other person too. If you truly trust Him and you go with God, it's an amazing journey. Not easy but amazing." —Yvonne Boa Yvonne and Sandy Boa are my parents.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 29 May 2023 | How To Confront Parents With Compassion | 00:22:12 | |
Have you ever thought about confronting a parent, but you're not sure how? In this episode, you'll learn the right questions to ask yourself when considering why and how to confront your parent(s) with compassion. Three important questions to ask:
Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, by Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 05 Jun 2023 | Porn, Autism, and ADHD: Embracing Neurodiversity (with Candice Christiansen) | 00:37:31 | |
How do neurodifferences like ADHD and autism relate to unwanted sexual behavior? How can embracing neurodiversity help us heal and outgrow porn? Candice Christiansen offers powerful perspectives and practical advice. This interview is delightful!
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 12 Jun 2023 | Porn And Third Culture Kids (with John Kilmer) | 00:41:38 | |
Growing up between worlds, third culture kids face unique challenges in developing their identity and sense of belonging. Can these experiences create a higher risk of struggling with pornography? John Kilmer reveals the impact of moving during crucial developmental stages, and how unprocessed grief and loss can lead to unwanted sexual behavior. Through John's story, we discover the burden AND the beauty of being a third culture man.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 19 Jun 2023 | Making Sense Of Masturbation: Science, Scripture, And My Story (LIVE) | 00:47:28 | |
What is masturbation? How does it affect the brain? What does the Bible (not) say about it? What will happen to me if I don't masturbate? In this episode, I'll share insights from neuroscience, the New Testament, and my own story of masturbation. Resources referenced:
Bible verses referenced:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 26 Jun 2023 | Making Sense Of Masturbation: Case Studies And Spicy Questions (LIVE) | 00:42:12 | |
Can masturbation ever be neutral or healthy? In this episode, I'll explore complex moral questions about masturbation. Together with a live audience, we'll analyze 10 situations you may have never considered before:
You'll also hear insights about how to talk with children about masturbation, how to stop masturbating, and more.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 03 Jul 2023 | Secrets Of Sex And Marriage (with Dr. Michael Sytsma) | 00:43:08 | |
"He said at 74, I am having the best sex of my life. At 74, my penis only occasionally shows up for the party. But I am still having the best sex of my life. I wish I had known in my thirties how to have this kind of sex." What is sex ultimately about? How can married couples enjoy sex more? How do you deal with differences in sexual desire? In this episode, Dr. Michael Sytsma offers a robust theology of sexuality AND clinical wisdom on how to unlock arousal, increase intimacy, and have fun in the bedroom.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 10 Jul 2023 | I'm Fine Syndrome (with Stephen Thomas) | 00:44:17 | |
Have you ever pretended to be fine when you're really not? In this episode, Stephen Thomas explains "I'm Fine Syndrome"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and how to crush it. You'll learn the importance of honoring your wants and needs...and the power of being authentic. Admitting you're not fine is an act of bravery and the first step towards true freedom.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 17 Jul 2023 | Experience Healing Through Psychodrama (with Dr. Doug Carpenter) | 00:46:02 | |
What is psychodrama? How can it help men outgrow porn? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why this powerful type of therapy creates profound healing experiences and accelerates freedom from porn.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 24 Jul 2023 | A Story Of Healing Through Psychodrama (with Rick Carlson and Dr. Doug Carpenter) | 00:32:47 | |
What does psychodrama actually look like? In this episode, Rick Carlson tells the amazing story of his psychodrama process at the Husband Material Leaders Retreat.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 31 Jul 2023 | How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time | 00:27:12 | |
In this episode, I'll share 7 things that shifted my sexual fetish to become less intense, less frequent, less disruptive, and less arousing. NOTE: I believe trying to alter sexual attraction is both unethical and unhelpful. My fetish has not been removed or replaced, and that is not my goal. Rather, my fetish lost its power through a series of shifts that took place as I pursued healing and freedom from porn.
Related episodes:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 07 Aug 2023 | From Rock Bottom To Recovery Coach (with George Morning) | 00:51:42 | |
In this episode, you'll hear the inspiring story of George Morning ("Coach G"). We talk about the challenges faced by black men and men of color in outgrowing porn—and how societal pressures, misconceptions, and the normalization of addiction intensify these challenges. Coach G highlights the importance of finding relatable support and the power of positive internal dialogue. Check out Coach G's book: HabitLand (this is a paid link) Email: habitlandcoach@gmail.com Website: beyondhabitland.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 14 Aug 2023 | Why You Need A Recovery Action Plan (with Nick Stumbo & Trevor Winsor) | 00:43:58 | |
How do you take action after relapse for growth and healing without using shame or punishment? After a porn relapse, what do appropriate consequences look like? Nick Stumbo and Trevor Winsor are members of the Executive Team at Pure Desire Ministries. Together, they host the popular Pure Desire Podcast. Free tools mentioned in this episode:
Register for the Pure Desire Summit at puredesire.org/summit! Nick Stumbo is the Executive Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for over two decades. He was in pastoral ministry at East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, Washington for 14 years. Nick has a Bachelor's in Pastoral Studies from Crown College, an MDiv from Bethel Seminary, and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has authored two books, Setting Us Free and Safe: Creating a Culture of Grace in a Climate of Shame. Trevor Winsor is the Marketing Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for 10 years. Trevor is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has a Bachelor’s in Psychology from Corban University, a Master’s in Ministry & Leadership from Western Seminary, and is a licensed pastor. Trevor is passionate about integrating trauma and addiction healing with spiritual disciplines to produce holistic healing.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 21 Aug 2023 | The Inner Child Challenge Workshop (LIVE) | 00:52:59 | |
In this workshop led by Drew Boa, you'll learn how to connect with your inner child like never before. To complete the exercises, you will need:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 28 Aug 2023 | Healing Your Marriage After Gay Porn (with Tamara Lichfield) | 00:38:52 | |
This episode answers unique questions for married men who have sexually acted out with gay porn or other men. You'll learn what partners go through upon discovery of gay porn, why transparency matters, and how we can pursue connection with other men while continuing to rebuild trust with our wives. You can reach Tamara at becomingshatterproof@gmail.com On Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/becomingshatterproof
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 04 Sep 2023 | Appropriate Touch Between Men (LIVE) | 00:56:23 | |
Touch is one of our most basic human needs. But many of us have been deprived. How can men outgrowing porn embrace healthy physical touch with each other—and prevent harm? Find out in this panel discussion with Certified Husband Material Coaches Drew Boa, Stephen Thomas, John Kilmer, and Mike Chapman.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 11 Sep 2023 | How To Heal Shame And Self-Contempt | 00:15:27 | |
Have you ever struggled with shame or self-contempt? In this episode, you'll learn the simple formula for healing shame through vulnerability and connection. You'll also hear a vulnerable, shame-filled part of my story I've never shared publicly. Shame is a normal human emotion that shows us how much we care.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 18 Sep 2023 | What To Do When You Feel The Urge To Watch Porn (with Dan Johnson) | 00:47:34 | |
How do you handle the intense urge to watch porn? This was Dan Johnson's dilemma. Dan struggled with porn for over 20 years. After re-confessing to his wife, putting filters on all his devices, joining a community of other men, and seeing a certified sex addiction therapist, he was still not experiencing the freedom he was longing for. In this episode, Dan shares the specific strategy he used to finally outgrow porn. Dan Johnson is a husband, a father, and the creator of The P.A.T.H. Plan and The New Paths Podcast. Dan is passionate about giving guys a practical, effective plan for the frontline of the porn struggle: how to handle and process the intense urge to watch porn. Download the free PDF: newpaths.me/plan Listen to the podcast: newpaths.me/podcast1
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 25 Sep 2023 | Reintegrative Therapy (with Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr.) | 00:33:43 | |
What is reintegrative therapy? Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. explains his approach to treating trauma and how it can help men outgrow porn. Joseph also shares insights about sexual attraction, sexual development, euphoric recall, and the importance of being able to choose your own values and goals. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, researcher, and clinical director at The Breakthrough Clinic in Southern California. He received his Ph.D. in 2009 from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 02 Oct 2023 | David’s Sexual Story (Sermon) | 00:49:13 | |
Who was David—the boy, the king, the sex offender? In this episode, you’ll see David’s sexual story from a new angle. You'll also get a taste of church with Husband Material Men through the dramatic reading of Scripture, confession of sin, assurance of pardon, and Christ-centered preaching by Drew Boa.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 09 Oct 2023 | Porn And Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (with Andrew Loyd) | 00:28:53 | |
Do you know what it's like to struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in addition to porn? Andrew Loyd does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Andrew unpacks how OCD and unwanted sexual behavior can be related. With curiosity and compassion, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important! Andrew Loyd is the founder of Restored Story Coaching. He is an ordained minister, Certified Enneagram Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He is passionate about helping people find greater hope and healing through the power of kindness. He works with men and ministry leaders to identify and rewrite the shame scripts running their lives so they can live with greater freedom and purpose. Andrew lives with his family in Eugene, Oregon. In his spare time, Andrew loves playing guitar, songwriting, competitive axe throwing, and pairing a good cup of coffee with an excellent book. Book a free 30-minute session with Andrew: calendly.com/restoredstory/30min Learn more about Andrew at restoredstorycoaching.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 16 Oct 2023 | Healing From Rejection, Racism, And Betrayal (with Roy Kim) | 00:48:42 | |
Have you ever been rejected? Roy Kim explains how rejection and internalized racism drove him to pornography. He also opens up about what it's like to struggle with with porn as a pastor—and as a male betrayed partner. Roy offers real hope through the power of compassion and community. Roy Kim, M.Div, CSAT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Southern California focusing on sexual addictions and betrayal trauma. He is a former pastor and enjoys partnering with pastors to educate churches about sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Roy facilitates groups for sexual addiction, and betrayed partners, and facilitates specialized groups for pastors with sexual addiction. He also hosts the SA Speakeasy Podcast, which centers around sexual addiction conversations. Connect with Roy here...
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 23 Oct 2023 | How To Escape Creepy Conversations Before Sexting | 00:27:09 | |
Have you ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe while chatting online? In this episode, I’ll share practical tips on how to escape creepy conversations… and 5 reasons why we sometimes don’t. At the end, you’ll hear real-life examples of how I have responded to unwanted sexual communication.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 30 Oct 2023 | How Porn Recovery Can Transform Your Church (with Sam Black) | 00:32:10 | |
What if your church was a safe space to outgrow porn? Sam Black explains how porn recovery ministry leads to less work for pastors, more generous donors, more passionate volunteers, and a legacy of health for the next generation. Sam Black is the Director of Recovery Education at CovenantEyes. He has edited 16 books on the impact of pornography and authored two: The Porn Circuit and The Healing Church. Buy Sam's new book (this is a paid link): The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography And How To Fix It.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 06 Nov 2023 | Helping Men Feel Safe To Open Up And Heal From Trauma (with Dr. James Reeves) | 00:25:07 | |
What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series—which is fantastic! The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their lives. Check it out:
Dr. James Reeves has been a pastor for more than 40 years. He nearly resigned, but chose to confront his past, and then used his newfound freedom in Christ to build a "hospital church" based on addressing emotional wounds. James is a regular speaker at conferences across America about how the local church can minister effectively to survivors of sexual trauma. Interested? Email James at Jamesreeves68@gmail.com.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 13 Nov 2023 | What Is A Pornographic Approach To Recovery? | 00:33:10 | |
How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead. Pornographic recovery is:
Healthy recovery is:
The idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is based on Andrew Bauman's concept of "a pornographic style of relating" (PSR) as described here:
Other Husband Material episodes mentioned:
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 20 Nov 2023 | Can Medication Help Me Outgrow Porn? (with Adam O'Neill) | 00:32:04 | |
What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and clarity from a Christ-centered perspective.
Interested in learning more? Bring your questions to our Live Q&A with Adam O'Neill on Tuesday, November 28th @ 7 PM Eastern Time inside the Husband Material Community. Adam O'Neill is a Certified Physician Assistant who practices Christian Psychiatry in Virginia, where he is licensed to prescribe medications. Adam graduated from Thomas Jefferson University with a Masters of Physician Assistant Studies in 2019. Prior to that, he attended Wheaton College in Illinois, where he earned his Bachelors in Psychology. Learn more about Adam O'Neill & Associates at aoavirginia.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 27 Nov 2023 | Experience Healing Through The Immanuel Approach (with Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson) | 00:48:14 | |
What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame. Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face To Face Ministries. They are passionate heart healers who have dedicated their lives to activating and equipping men and women with tools backed by brain science to accelerate personal breakthroughs through connecting with Jesus using the Immanuel Approach.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 04 Dec 2023 | Introduction To Sexual Symbolism | 00:16:19 | |
What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction! Related episodes:
Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetishes Come From?
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 11 Dec 2023 | How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy (with Dr. Doug Carpenter) | 01:00:17 | |
What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well. The best place to start is Husband Material Academy, which opens up on January 1. Learn more at joinHMA.com
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 18 Dec 2023 | Blessing vs. Cursing Yourself & The Story Behind Your Porn (with Chris Bruno) | 00:30:42 | |
How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 25 Dec 2023 | How To Help Your Partner Heal (with Carol Sheets) | 00:35:55 | |
How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas!
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 01 Jan 2024 | 12 Reasons To Stop Shaming Yourself | 00:20:59 | |
Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself.
Thanks for listening! | |||
| 08 Jan 2024 | Healing Through Artwork and Storywork (with Philip Leach and John Kilmer) | 00:58:37 | |
What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result is jaw-droppingly beautiful and incredibly meaningful. Philip Leach is a worshipper and friend of Jesus who enjoys expressing creativity and building joyful connection through snow sculpting, Immanuel Doodling, deliberate appreciation, and facilitating times of quiet listening and art. His journey has included lots of hand-painted pottery as well as two decades of presenting “chalk talks”. His primary passion is joining other men in breaking free from anything that’s keeping us from enjoying life, and then practicing skills to move forward powered by Joy.
Thanks for listening! | |||
