Human Nature with Roni Fouks (Helping you become everything you're meant to be.)

In today’s episode, I spoke with David Schapiro, an expert in the insurtech space, who combines his silicon valley cowboy past with the old-school culture of the insurance industry.

David explains why we’re seeing the emergence of a great number of tech companies within the insurance space, and why this is just the tip of the iceberg. David has been involved in companies such as ClickSoftware, PLANCK, BoughtByMany, Sayata Labs, and Earnix.

We spoke about David’s experience in this space, his insights about insurtech specifically and entrepreneurship more generally, and about the track record we’re seeing of Israeli high-tech companies making a global splash and bringing innovation to the forefront.

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Prof. Mark Solms, a psychoanalyst and neuropsychologist from South Africa who is well known for his groundbreaking research on the brain mechanisms of dreaming. Today we spoke about the unique field of neuropsychoanalysis, some of his earlier research showing why Freud was right about dreaming, and about his new book The Hidden Spring: A Journey to the Source of Consciousness. In his book, Mark brings forth a revolutionary theory of consciousness that returns emotions and feelings to the center of our mental lives.

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Ben Volkow, the CEO and Founder of Otonomo, a company that’s revolutionizing the world of car data. Otonomo offers the leading data platform and marketplace for sharing and utilizing vehicle data, with over 40 million connected cars and 4 billion data points. The opportunities are far-reaching for this unprecedented amount of car data, from traffic management and smart cities, to emergency services and smarter insurance policies. 

Ben was full of insights from his journey founding Otonomo and bringing the company to IPO at a 1.26 billion dollar valuation. 

We spoke all about his vision for Otonomo and how this kind of data can completely transform the way we drive, the way entire cities are planned, and much much more. 

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In today’s episode, I spoke with John Vervaeke, professor of cognitive science at the University of Toronto and creator of the YouTube lecture series “Awakening from the Meaning Crisis”. 

In his brilliant 50-part series, John weaves together philosophy, the history of ideas, and cognitive science to explain why we collectively find ourselves today in a crisis of meaning. 

In our conversation, we spoke about the origins of the meaning crisis, its symptoms today and how modern health issues are connected, and the practices that we can integrate into our lives to regain meaning and enhance our capacity for insight. 

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In today's episode, I spoke with Delroy Paulhus, a personality researcher focusing on antisocial, Dark Tetrad personality traits such as psychopathy, narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sadism. We spoke about how the internet provides a platform for sadists to get their kicks by trolling others online. And we spoke about the idea of human evil, our own shadow sides, and how we can better understand human malevolence.

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In today's episode, I spoke with Anna Lembke, a psychiatrist, author of Dopamine Nation, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University, and an expert on the opioid crisis. We spoke about the 'pain-pleasure' mechanism of the dopaminergic systems, how they can induce addictive behaviors through over stimulation, and how understanding these mechanisms can help us lead a healthy, balanced life that is free of addiction. We also zoomed in on cannabis addictions and workaholism, and how to distinguish when these behaviors become problematic.

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Prof. Uriel Reichman | Founding President & Chairman of the Board, Reichman University

In today's episode, Uriel and I discussed the current state of affairs in Israel, the judicial reform that is threatening Israel's democracy and has caused millions of Israelis to organize in massive protests weekly. We spoke about the ideologies that are driving the harmful policies of the current extremist government - and what true democracy, based on Zionist humanistic values, really means.

For more information on Uriel Reichman's legacy founding the first private university in Israel and his vision for a Jewish democratic state, visit his website here: https://www.urielreichman.com/en/

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In today's episode, I spoke with Adam Lane Smith, an attachment specialist and personal coach emphasizing the important role of attachment for our well-being and relationships. We talked about how attachment issues are at the core of many common mental issues, such as depression and anxiety. We spoke about modern dating and apps, hookup culture and how it preys on anxiously attached individuals - especially women, and how we can optimize our dating lives to find a committed partner who is aligned with our values and long-term life goals. We also spoke a few important differences between men and women, such as how modern therapy is better geared towards helping women - and what men actually need when seeking therapy,  as well as the differences between how men and women bond - and the important role that the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin play in this regard.  For more information on Adam's coaching services and online courses: https://adamlanesmith.com/For Adam's book 'Slaying Your Fear': https://adamlanesmith.com/books/

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🧠 In this episode, join me in a thought-provoking conversation with Mark Leary, an esteemed psychology and neuroscience professor at Duke University. Together, we unravel the intricate layers of the self, exploring the nuanced differences between self-esteem and self-respect and the crucial role of self-compassion in our internal narratives.

🔍 Mark Leary, with his wealth of research, navigates the complexities embedded in terms like 'self' and 'ego,' offering profound insights into their meanings within our personal experiences. He challenges conventional perceptions of self-esteem, revealing its nature as a gauge reflecting our relational value rather than a mere internal feeling.

🌱 Through our discussion, we delve into the limitations of direct self-esteem boosting initiatives, delving into the unintended consequences they may provoke, such as fostering self-obsession and narcissism. Instead, we discuss the concept of self-respect as a more reliable path to cultivating a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.

💡 Moreover, our conversation touches upon the delicate balance between self-compassion and self-complacency, shedding light on fostering healthier and more empowering relationships with ourselves, without letting ourselves slip.

🎙️ Tune in for a deep dive into the intricate dimensions of the human psyche, as Mark Leary shares his expertise, offering profound insights into the intricate dynamics of self-perception and personal growth.

Check out Mark’s book, The Curse of the Self: https://www.amazon.com/Curse-Self-Self-Awareness-Egotism-Quality/dp/0195325443

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🎙️ Unveiling Evolutionary Insights into Male and Female Survival Strategies with Joyce Benenson

🔍 Dive into the evolutionary strategies that shaped our sexes in this thought-provoking podcast episode featuring Dr. Joyce Benenson, esteemed Harvard University lecturer in Human Evolutionary Biology and author of the enlightening book "Warriors and Worriers: The Survival of the Sexes."

🌱 In this conversation, we explore the primal origins behind men and women's distinctive behaviors. We discuss the reality of inherent sex differences—far more biologically rooted than socialized—revealing that acknowledging these distinctions doesn't imply superiority or inferiority. Instead, it illuminates how each sex evolved distinct survival strategies, shedding light on our natural tendencies and instincts to foster a more humane existence.

🚀 We challenge misconceptions! Discover that masculinity isn't innately toxic; it embodies virtues such as ambition, specialization, and an unparalleled ability to cooperate within groups. Men, your masculinity is not something to apologize for—let's reframe the narrative!

🔬 Delve into the complex world of female competition, unveiling the reality behind women's subtle yet potent competitive strategies. Understand that societal barriers are often reinforced by women themselves, not solely by men—an eye-opening revelation reshaping the narrative of the glass ceiling.

🌐 Our discussion navigates the mechanics of evolution, exploring why and how sex differences emerged. We spoke about young boys’ fascination with "the enemy" and their inclination towards tools and weapons, both rooted deeply in evolutionary history. Joyce explained how the innate competitive drive in men fuels innovation and progress when harnessed positively.

🔍 Joyce shed light on women's worry-centric and health-conscious behavior, as well as the intricate web of female competition, addressing the dynamics that drive exclusion, gossip, and antisocial behavior among ‘mean girls’.

🌟 Join us as we dissect these evolutionary concepts and strive to foster a deeper understanding of our natural inclinations, ultimately aiming to empower individuals to embrace their differences and to cultivate healthy relationships.

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🧠 Delve into the fascinating nuances of cognitive differences between sexes with Prof. David Geary in our latest episode! We navigate through controversial yet intriguing findings on how gender disparities widen in liberal societies. Join us as we decipher evolutionary roots behind men's math prowess and women's verbal excellence.

🎙️ Prof. Geary, a distinguished psychologist, shares insights on intra-individual strengths, their impact on career choices, and the evolving landscape of education. Uncover the evolutionary bases of cognitive abilities, debunking myths around gender stereotypes and stereotype threats.

📚 Dive into the academic achievement gap, understanding its complex origins in educational design and societal perceptions. Explore brain disparities, hormonal influences, and vulnerability to stressors, shedding light on the varied aspects of masculinity and femininity.

🌟 We challenge misconceptions by exploring variability within sexes, while addressing prevalent Woke arguments against acknowledging inherent sex differences. Prof. Geary's forward-thinking vision for education promises an inclusive future empowering both boys and girls to excel in school.

This episode promises an insightful journey into the depths of cognitive science and psychology—don't miss out! 🚀David Geary is a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Missouri. He is a cognitive scientist and evolutionary psychologist with interests in educational psychology and the biological bases of sex differences in cognition.

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This episode was recorded 3 months before the tragic events of October 7th.

Join me for an eye-opening podcast episode with Prof. Eran Halperin, as we dive into the realm of emotions within intergroup conflicts. Eran's extensive research illuminates how emotions drive and shape conflict dynamics, exploring the profound impact of emotions such as hatred, anger, fear, hope, despair, guilt, and empathy in these contentious conflicts.

We discuss the power of emotions as engines of human behavior within social contexts, and their influence on decision-making processes both at the government level and among the public. Eran illustrates the unique nature of discrete intergroup emotions and their concrete implications for conflict resolution dynamics. We shed light on the potential for emotional change and its capacity to transform political processes, emphasizing the need for understanding and managing collective emotional climates.

Throughout our conversation, we unravel the complexities of emotions like hatred, anger, fear, hope, despair, guilt, and empathy, exploring their destructive and constructive roles in conflicts. From the chronic nature of fear to the contrasting effects of hope and despair, we examine how these emotions perpetuate conflicts and hinder reconciliation efforts.

Eran's insights offer a glimmer of hope, revealing that the majority of both Jews and Arabs in Israel oppose violence. As we conclude, we delve into potential pathways for meaningful change through emotion regulation, drawing from Eran's research to understand how altering the collective emotional climate could pave the way for reconciliation between conflicting groups.

Eran Halperin is a professor of social psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, with expertise in peace and conflict studies. His research focuses on the role of emotions in intergroup conflicts, offering valuable insights into the dynamics that influence decision-making processes and conflict resolution strategies.

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Unveiling the Secrets of Male Evolution: What Drives Deeper Voices in Men?

In our latest podcast episode, I had an engaging discussion with Dr. David Puts, an evolutionary anthropologist renowned for his insights into the evolution of men. We explore the intriguing question: Are lower male voices designed to allure women or intimidate rival men?

Dr. Puts shared surprising findings, revealing that male dominance competition has had a more profound impact on shaping masculine traits than previously believed, outweighing the influence of female selection. Our conversation explored the intricate role of hormones during prenatal development and their effect on shaping our personalities and sexual characteristics. We also busted some 'no sex differences' myths and challenged the notion that male and female brains are identical.

As a distinguished professor of anthropology at Penn State, Dr. Puts specializes in unraveling the complexities of human sexuality, examining how sex hormones shape our sexual psychology, behavior, and anatomy. Join us in uncovering the fascinating journey of how these traits were intricately shaped by the forces of sexual selection and competition.

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Are we rational? Are we as moral as we think we are? Can we really trust ourselves to make rational ethical decisions? 
In this episode, we have Dr. Guy Hochman, who is a senior lecturer and the head of the MA program in Behavioral Economics  at Reichman University.
Guy received his PhD in organizational psychology from the Technion university and then went on to complete his post-doctorate at Duke University under the supervision of Prof. Dan Ariely. His research focuses on heuristics and biases, behavioral economics, pro-social and anti-social behavior, and the cognitive processes that underlie decision making.
We got into some of the basics of behavioral economics and the revolutionary way that this field incorporates the human element into economic research. We'll also explore the idea of ethical decision making, and how such research can help us promote moral behavior and bring about a more ethical society. 

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Have you ever asked yourself, "Do I really have free-will? Or is everything that happens already pre-determined"? If so, you're in luck.

In this episode we spoke with Prof. Daniel Levy, a cognitive neuroscientist and the dean of the school of Psychology at IDC. Daniel's research focuses on understanding the processes of the human mind, specifically on different aspects of memory and attention. Notably, Daniel began his explorations of psychology through the humanities and the study of philosophy, leading to much exploration around the philosophy of consciousness and free-will. He received his Ph.D. in cognitive psychology from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and did his post-doctoral fellowships on human memory at the University of California in San Diego and Bar-Ilan University. He's also taught cognitive neuroscience at the Weizmann Institute.

To this day he remains fascinated by the integration of psychology and philosophy, and has written about the neuroscience of Free Will, where he gives his unique take on the matter by integrating neurobiology with one of the most pressing questions in the study of philosophy, which is - do we have free will? If you want to learn more about how neuroscience can help us settle the debate between free-will and determinism, this episode is definitely for you.

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How can insights from political psychology help us improve the debate between the right and the left?  In this episode we spoke with Prof. Gilad Hirschberger, an experimental social and political psychologist who studies collective threats and their relevance to group survival concerns and to intergroup relations. Based on a multidimensional existential threat (MET) model that he developed, he studies how the shadow of past threats, such as the Holocaust, and the specter of threats looming in the future can influence attitudes, behaviors, and cognitions.
In our conversation, we spoke about how his MET model can provide us with a different lens through which we see politics, and how his framework can help create a healthier dialogue, allowing the right and the left to work through disagreements, recognize each other's value, and to overall help us make progress and  get out of the political rut in which we find ourselves.

Gilad received his BA in psychology from Berkeley, and a Ph.D. in experimental psychology from Bar-Ilan University. He then went back to Berkeley to complete his post-doctorate. Currently, Gilad is an Associate Professor of psychology at IDC.

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In this episode, we spoke with  Prof. Shimon Shocken, the founding dean of the school of Computer Science at Reichman University.
After being a tenured professor at NYU for 10 years, Shimon came back to Israel to take part in building a new academic institution from scratch. Over the years, Shimon was also a visiting professor at Harvard and Stanford, and served as chairman of the Computer Science Curriculum committee of Israel's Ministry of Education from 2009 to 2012. Shimon is a passionate educator, and has developed revolutionary courses such as NandtoTetris and Matific, which we spoke about in this episode. 

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How are game theory, math, and values related? In this episode, we spoke about Game Theory and its different applications in real life with Prof. Eilon Solan from Tel Aviv University. Eilon holds a PhD in Mathematics from the Hebrew university. Besides his fascination with math, Eilon is also a fan of sci-fi and he authored two science fiction books in Hebrew.

One of the topics we spoke about is the exciting idea of emergent ethics arising out of game theory models. One of the things that we discover after investigating different models of game theory is that the best long term strategy in many games is a cooperative strategy.  So in a sense, in game theory, the idea of cooperation can be "mathematically proven".

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What makes some people resilient, and others not? How can we make psychology scalable? 

Prof. Danny Hamiel is a clinical psychologist by trade and a researcher. Danny's bigger picture is to promote well-being on a larger scale. He is the head of the Cognitive-Behavioral unit in the Tel-Aviv university mental health center and is the director of the unit for school interventions at the Cohen-Harris Center for Resilience, which has been chosen by the Israeli Ministry of Education as the national program for school interventions to promote resilience and help children deal with daily stressors and to cope with trauma. These programs are especially important in cities that are at high risk for mass disasters. 

Danny has devoted his life to developing programs and interventions that promote well-being in the community and that are scaleable, and we speak about how he thinks we can apply the insights of psychology in a way that improves many people's lives rather than just a few. We spoke about CBT, which is a more modern approach to psychotherapy, and what he thinks makes third-wave CBT the way to go. Danny really opened my eyes in this conversation to the strengths of CBT and the amazing changes it can help people make, in a relatively short time frame, by putting most of the focus on the here-and-now.

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How do words shape our thoughts and our reality? How can changing one word dramatically impact people's opinions? What really is the importance of being precise in your speech?

Orly studies psycholinguistics, which is the meeting place between psychology and linguistic studies. In particular, she researches how language can affect our attitudes, emotions, and responses. We spoke about the research she’s done in the field of conflict resolution and negotiations, where she and her colleagues have shown that different wordings, often very subtle, can have a substantial impact on how we perceive different texts and messages.

It’s incredible how much our language and the words we choose to use shape our reality and our interpersonal relationships. Language is this miraculous human instinct, and it’s such an integral part of our experience that we often take it for granted. So I hope this conversation will help shed some light on some of the different aspects of language - how it works, how we acquire it, and how it affects our thoughts and our reality.  

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Nir Minerbi and Amir Naveh are two of the founders of a quantum computing company called Classiq. 

So it turns out, quantum computing is a thing. Quantum computing is an exciting new approach that integrates computers as we know them today with the principles of quantum physics.  

An important distinction between the classic Newtonian physics and quantum physics is that, in Newtonian physics, things are considered causal, meaning, one thing causes the other. So if we have complete knowledge of the past, that means that we can compute the future, and vice versa. But in quantum physics, things get a little more complicated. Objects, such as atoms, are neither particles nor waves, but instead, are a weird combination of the two. We can’t be 100% certain where things actually are and how they move. So in this paradigm, if we have complete knowledge of the past, we can only make probabilistic predictions of the future. And so quantum computing introduces this probability factor into the mix.

The way regular computers are built today, the entire system is built on the binary code, just a string of ones and zeros can make everything that our laptops and phones do possible. In quantum computing, things get a little more complicated. Because we no longer have ones and zeros, but instead, the entire machinery is based on probabilities. Sounds like science fiction, I know.

Nir and Amir did an amazing job in simplifying this complex topic, starting from a background of how quantum physics evolved, to the emerging industry of quantum computing, and the role they hope their company Classiq will play in this new field.  We also got into their journey being founders of a start-up, and spoke at length about their philosophies around work-life balance, personal growth, and how to cultivate a company culture of family and excellence. 

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Did you know we have trillions of bacteria, yeast, and virus cells living within us?  How does this "microbiome" affect our health and well-being? 
Today we spoke about the microbiome with Dr. Elran Haber, who is the CEO of Biomica, an emerging biopharmaceutical company developing innovative microbiome-based therapeutics for the treatment of immune-mediated and infectious diseases, with a specific focus on immuno-oncology and GI related disorders. Their company is composed of an A-Team of brilliant scientists from Israel and from around the world. Elran and I spoke about the microbiome at large, what it is, why it’s a fascinating new frontier of research, and how we can apply this new knowledge in our own lives to improve our health and longevity. We got to hear about the exciting new interventions that Biomica are developing, as well as other success stories that have been popping up in the field. It’s amazing to think that there’s an entire ecosystem living within us, and that our body and that ecosystem are in constant dialogue and are constantly affecting each other. What’s particularly cool about this new discovery is that it gives us a new framework through which we can judge whether something will be beneficial to our health or not. For instance, maybe we eat something that has a lot of vitamins and low calories, so we think it’s good for us - but if it messes with our microbiome, we’re going to have a problem. Now that's only one way in which this field is creating an entire shift of how we look at health, disease, and treatments. 

Dr. Haber serves as Biomica’s Chief Executive Officer. Prior to joining Biomica, he served as Therapix Biosciences (Nasdaq, TASE: TRPX) CEO leading the company to a successful IPO on Nasdaq and advancing the Company's programs to clinical stage. He spent more than 10 years as Chairman and board member of several privately held, and publicly traded companies. He’s served in senior executive roles in various life science companies and a private investment firm. Dr. Haber holds a PhD in Pharmaceutical Science and an MBA in Finance & Financial Engineering, both from The Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Israel.

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What does it really mean to be on the same wavelength with someone? Is there any truth to these kinds of metaphors? Dr. Yulia Golland shows that on a certain level - yes there is.

Dr. Yulia Golland is a social neuroscientist who studies interpersonal synchrony. In other words, she studies how people get in-sync with one another. Human beings are inherently social creatures, and we are constantly shaping and being shaped by our social environments. A lot of this communication happens verbally, but the majority of it happens below our conscious radar, on levels that we may not be aware of. 

When we interact with someone else, sometimes we can have the feeling that we’re clicking or that we’re on the same wavelength, so to speak. What these metaphors help us describe is that feeling when we feel a sense of rapport and connectedness with the other person. We’ve all had these experiences, but what Yulia does is show that not only do we experience these moments of connectedness subjectively, but she also shows that objectively there are neurological and physiological markers that also become synchronized during such interactions. So, to a certain extent, the saying that “you and I are on the same wavelength” is much more literal than we would have thought. 

Yulia and I spoke about the different ways in which this propensity to synchronize with others affects us, and we really got into the good, the bad, and the ugly of interpersonal synchrony. We spoke about the social nature of humans, and how there is no individual without a community around him. The interplay between the individual and the collective is eternal and the boundaries between self and the other are never quite clear. In a sense, we’re immersed in a social network, that network is a part of who we are and we define ourselves based on the social context we’re in. This social nature means that we have evolved to be so sensitive and receptive to the social cues around us that we do this subconsciously and automatically. 

I personally love research that takes mysterious phenomena like our propensity to sync up with one another - and grounds it in a secure scientific base of research - and that’s exactly what Yulia does in her research. 

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In today's episode, I spoke with Prof. Leo Corry, a historian and philosopher of mathematics and science, and the former dean of the Humanities at Tel Aviv university. Leo has studied mathematics, history, and philosophy, and has such an extensive mapping of the history and evolution of science and mathematics, as well as how different cultural and social movements worked together and created the environment that made certain technological advancements and progressions in humanity’s understanding of the world. 

We spoke at length about the philosophy of science, how we need to stay humble in the face of uncertainty, and how for the greater part of history, science and religion have been married to one another, science having been born out of religion, with the fundamental goal of both being to understand the world and the universe we find ourselves in. 

We talked about the point at which science became divorced from religion, to the extent that today most people would find the two antithetical to one another. I believe that taking this zoomed out approach helps us better understand how science evolved to where it is today and gives us context for our own modern ways of thinking. 

For more information on Leo:

Leo's Website

Leo's Blog

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Prof. Reuven Dar, a clinical psychologist and researcher, who studies OCD. 

Ruvi and his colleagues have developed a model that approaches OCD in a different way from the mainstream consensus. They’ve come up with a framework for OCD called “Seeking Proxies for Internal States”. The idea behind this is that individuals suffering from OCD have a harder time accessing their own internal states. And in order to deal with this, they seek proxies, or things that are external to them, in order to gauge what exactly their internal states are. This is quite a different way of looking at OCD, and it shines a light on the difficulties that these individuals often experience when trying to understand what exactly they themselves are feeling. And so their ritualized and compulsive behavior become these kinds of external crutches that help them gain more certainty around their uncertain evaluations of their own internal worlds. We talked about the different symptoms of OCD and how they can manifest on a spectrum. One of the important notes that came from this was that, like other psychological disorders, a diagnosis of OCD is only made when the symptoms are truly interfering with the individual’s life, functioning, and well-being.

Ruvi and his colleagues have done something that I particularly admire. They’ve looked at a certain accepted consensus and said “we’re not quite sure it’s accurate”. When ideas are widely accepted in any field in science, it’s hard to reopen that area of inquiry for further examination and to perhaps reevaluate certain things that were held to be true. Any endeavor that takes a second look at things with fresh eyes is a laudable step towards the pursuit of truth and is in my opinion, embodying the true spirit of science. 

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How can scientific innovations transform society? What can learning about different cultures teach us about ourselves?  What can learning about our past  teach us about our future? And what do we truly need in order to drive scientific progress?

In today’s episode, I spoke with Prof. Nicholas Dirks, the President of the New York Academy of Sciences, former Chancellor of UC Berkeley, and former dean of the Humanities at Columbia university. Nicholas started his academic journey in history and anthropology, having been fascinated with Eastern cultures, especially India, from a young age. Throughout his career, Nick has embodied the spirit of the interdisciplinary approach and the pursuit of furthering human knowledge through investigation and exploration. 

This conversation was definitely a hopeful one. We spoke about the role of science in our society, the wonderful innovations that science is able to produce, and we also spoke about the importance of interdisciplinary dialogue and collaboration, for true scientific progress to be made. Another theme we explored is that science cannot exist on its own, it must be grounded in fundamental questions of how it can benefit the public good. 

Some questions came up of how we can communicate the principles of science to the public in a better, more effective way and we explored the question of where the public’s mistrust for science actually comes from. One thing that really hit home for me was Nick’s call for an open minded, curious, and exploratory approach to the scientific pursuit. It’s easy for us to lose that child-like curiosity for the world when met with the demands of daily lives, but Nick has found a way to keep that spirit of inquiry very much alive in his own career, and helps instill it in those around him, now in a large and meaningful scale through his role as President of the Academy. 

Science is beautiful, and I hope that this conversation in some small way helps to get that message out there. When Nick refers to the New York Academy of Sciences as the Academy, for me it brings forth images of Ancient Greece and Plato’s Academy - which was devoted to the pursuit of knowledge and understanding the mysteries of the universe. The movement of the Enlightenment - on which our modern world of science is based on, was inspired by the philosophy of the Ancient Greeks, who held up the principles of reason, virtue, and liberty. The New York Academy of Sciences is carrying that legacy onward, working to further science and our understanding of the universe - with the goal being to better society and to improve our lives here as humans on this Earth. 

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In today’s episode, I got to speak to Prof. Ran Barkai, an archeologist from Tel Aviv university. Archeology is a fascinating field that provides us with a very real, physical, sensory connection with our past. By uncovering certain objects, remnants, and markings left behind by prehistoric man, we can paint a picture of what the life of our early ancestors was really like. Each new discovery adds to this tapestry of history, and the new technological advancements we have today help make our estimations of the past even more accurate. 

One of the exciting discoveries that Ran and his team have found is that of cave paintings - that were so deep within the caves - that the prehistoric humans that ventured in there must have used fire to light their way. What Ran and his colleagues were able to show was that at such depths - due to the lack of circulation - lighting a fire would cause oxygen levels to lower to such a degree - that a state of hypoxia would be induced in these early painters. In other words, early humans were no strangers to altered states of consciousness.  

They would enter these trance-like states in which they would embark on spiritual journeys and paint on the cave walls. We spoke about the possible meanings behind these cave paintings, and Ran’s ideas on how these altered states of consciousness were intentional and deliberate, and were used by prehistoric man to expand their awareness, call forth insights, and ultimately - to find solutions to different existential problems they may have been facing. 

We ventured into some Jungian territory in this episode as well, discussing how in the psyche of early man, there was much less distinction between the subject and the object, or the internal world and the external world. Early humans were most likely much more in tune with their environments. 

There always remains the question though of whether or not we’re romanticizing the past and wishfully projecting characteristics onto early humans - such as their heightened awareness and respect for nature and strong sense of community. We can only do the best we can in painting this picture of the life of our early ancestors. But I believe that even if we are romanticizing certain elements of our history, this longing for simpler times - in which we were more connected with nature, family, and community - can help shed light on precisely those elements that we are most hungry for today in our modern world. 

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In today’s episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Prof. Bernard Berofsky, an Emeritus Professor of Philosophy from Columbia University, who in his career has explored topics such as free-will, determinism, liberation, autonomy, and creativity. Bernard is an exceptional philosophical thinker, and his devotion to the pursuit of knowledge and truth is an inspiring one. 

This conversation was a deep dive into the mind of an analytical philosopher. In some parts, we explored the deeper philosophical arguments around these ideas, and in others we spoke about how they can be related and applied to our everyday lives. 

First of all, you might be asking yourself, what is this idea of free-will and determinism? What is the big dilemma here? Well this is a huge question that has been occupying philosophers for ages - and it asks - do we, as humans, have free-will over our choices? Or is the universe we live in already predetermined, which would mean that everything that ever was and ever will be is like a play with a clear script that’s just waiting to play out. And in this predetermined world, the choices we feel we have full control over are just an illusion and are actually a result of all of these different forces unfolding. 

There are different schools of thought around this matter - some philosophers are incompatibilists, meaning they believe that we can’t have both free-will and determinism, it must be either or. Of these, we have the determinists, who are adamant about there being no free-will whatsoever, and that if we do have any feeling of being able to freely make decisions in our lives - this is simply an illusion. Other philosophers believe that nothing is determined and that everything is up for grabs so to speak, that we are free, autonomous agents able to freely make decisions and to control our own fates. 

Prof. Berofsky, on the other hand, is a compatibilist. He believes that free-will and determinism can coexist. Certain things about our world and our existence are indeed determined, however, we still have quite a bit of free-will that allows us to actively participate in the shaping of our destinies. 

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Prof. Sam Gosling, a personality researcher from UT Austin. To start with - we should first ask ourselves - what is personality? There are endless theories and frameworks that try to describe, explain, and predict a person’s characteristic nature - as well as many different approaches to studying and measuring an individual’s personality.

In this episode, Sam gave us his take on what personality actually means and explained the different levels of analysis that we should pay attention to when venturing into this field. Throughout his career, Sam has studied how our personalities are reflected in the physical spaces that we inhabit. What do our rooms, offices, and homes say about who we are? How can we learn more about someone’s personality, just by observing their room or office for instance? We spoke about all of the different clues we should look for when observing someone’s space - as well as which personality traits are the most easily detectable. 

Sam’s fascination with physical spaces doesn’t stop there however. Recently, he’s focused on the question of how can architecture after our psychology? How can the layout and design of a physical space influence our moods, cognitions, and behavior? What kinds of rooms promote inspiration and creativity on the one hand, or rest and rejuvenation on the other. Our physical environments can have a profound impact on our psychological states, but to this day, little research has focused on systematically asking and answering these questions. We explored how architects can use psychology research to design spaces that take these psychological effects into account - and how, hopefully, one day, this could mean an evolution in the entire field of architecture itself. So if you’d like to know how our personalities shape the spaces we inhabit, as well as how these same spaces can affect us - stay tuned for today’s episode. 

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Prof. David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist from UT Austin, about his latest book - When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault. 

This conversation was incredibly enlightening. 

David employs an evolutionary framework to better understand the dynamics of human mating. What I love about the evolutionary approach is that it allows us to really understand the motives of our actions and why we behave the way we do. Evolutionary psychology lets us look at human emotion, cognition, and behavior through a historic lens. And so we can understand how the environments of our far past shaped us to what we are today. 

And how in our modern world, certain evolved tendencies may no longer serve us and may seem maladaptive, but really, for the majority of human history, they had a very purposeful function.

So by studying human mating and sexual conflict through the evolutionary lens, we can take a hard look at the darker sides of human sexuality, from cheating and deception, to outright sexual assault, and to ask - why in the world do these behaviors exist? What was the evolutionary purpose and benefit of these behavioral tendencies? And how can understanding the evolutionary background of these drives help us overcome them and evolve past them? 

David has devoted his career to understanding the full scope of human mating - and his commitment to discovering the truths at the core, even in the most dangerous and taboo of topics, is exceptional. And in my opinion, true understanding must occur before change can take place.

So now, let’s talk about what happens when men behave badly. 

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Tara Stiles, the founder of Strala Yoga, a revolutionary approach to being, moving, and healing. 

Strala Yoga is not like other styles of yoga. 

Strala combines the principles of tai-chi with yoga and delivers an easy-going flow, that allows you to sync with your breath, tune inwards, really listen to your body, and ultimately, to become good friends with yourself. 

Finally, there’s a style of yoga that really feels like you. 

In Strala, the focus isn’t on getting the alignment of the pose just right. Instead, poses are thought of as waypoints to move and flow through. This way of practicing yoga shifts your attention from how the pose looks to how you feel as you’re moving and breathing.

Tara Stiles was private yoga teacher to Deepak Chopra, walked the red carpet with Jane Fonda, and along with her husband, Mike Taylor, Tara has devoted herself to making yoga accessible for everyone. 

Strala is all about slowing down, softening, moving with your breath, and practicing being kind to yourself, on and off the mat. There’s no pretentiousness, no strict rules or codes of dress. Strala is open to everyone.

In our conversation, we spoke about how Strala Yoga was born, where the philosophy came from, and how the Strala community has developed and grown over the years. 

I feel really lucky that my introduction into the world of yoga was through Tara’s Strala Yoga videos, and I hope that after hearing today’s conversation, you’ll invite a bit of Strala Magic into your own lives as well. 

So without further ado, here’s my conversation with Tara Stiles.

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Prof. Simon Baron-Cohen and I discussed his new book, Pattern Seekers, and how autism has been a driving force for innovation throughout human history. 

We spoke about the difference between the Systemizing Mechanism and the Empathy Circuit, and how there is a big overlap between individuals with autism and those who are hyper-systemizers. 

Simon explained how, for most of human history, the true innovators and inventors were individuals who were curious, focused, and constantly trying to understand the systems that govern our world.

Check out his latest book The Pattern Seekers: https://www.amazon.com/Pattern-Seekers-Autism-Drives-Invention-ebook/dp/B083J1G9PY

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A very special episode with a very special person!

In today' s episode I spoke with Irvin Yalom, the author of best-selling books such as When Nietzsche Wept and Love's Executioner, the father of existential psychotherapy and a pioneer in the field of group theory.   

We spoke about his latest book, A Matter of Death and Life, which he co-authored with his late wife, Marylin Yalom.

Marylin and Irvin weave together a beautiful and touching tale of true love, old age, and a life well-lived.

Click here for their latest book:  A Matter of Death and Life

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Do you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur? 

A conversation with Yuval Tal, Founder & President of Payoneer and Managing Partner at Team8 Fintech. 

Yuval and I spoke about the ins and outs of entrepreneurship. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Yuval shared his lessons and insights from his entrepreneurial journey, and what kind of personality makes for a successful entrepreneur.

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In today’s conversation, I spoke with Micha Kaufman, founder and CEO of Fiverr. 

Fiverr has completely revolutionized the gig economy, making freelance work accessible for people all over the world. Fiverr simplifies the process of connecting freelancers with their customers, which allows freelancers to truly make a living from their work, and provides easy access for businesses large and small to highly skilled individuals. 

We spoke about where the idea for Fiverr came from, how the company looked in its early days, and what it took to make the Fiverr dream a reality. 

Micha shared his insights about what it takes to build a strong company culture and what values are important to cultivate in order to keep an ever-expanding company integrated and focused on the grander vision. 

Fiverr has opened so many doors for so many people around the world, and one of the things that were clear from our conversation was that at Fiverr, they never lose sight of the people they are serving. 

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In today’s episode, I spoke with Prof. James Pennebaker, a social psychology professor from UT Austin. Needless to say, within the psychology community, Pennebaker is a well known name. 

James is a pioneer in the field of writing therapy, where he has explored how writing about a past trauma can help people recover, as well as how the language we use can indicate the state of our mental health.  

He then went on to explore how people use language differently. For instance, how gender and personality can affect the language we use. 

One of the surprising things that emerged from James’s research is that the biggest differences between people’s use of language are actually to be found in their use of pronouns - those little words that no one quite pays attention to. 

Interestingly enough, it’s precisely the way we use pronouns that can tell us a lot about who we are.

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Join me in a thought-provoking conversation with Prof. Roy Baumeister as we delve into the pages of his book "Is There Anything Good About Men: How Cultures Flourish by Exploiting Men".

In this episode, we explore the roots of male motivation, uncovering the profound impact of sexual competition on both men and women. Prof. Baumeister offers insights into the intricate relationship between men's sex drive and their drive for success, and how these drives have influenced the building and shaping of culture.

Our discussion challenges prevailing misconceptions, shedding light on the complex reasons behind the underrepresentation of women in leadership roles and the anti-male narrative that prompted Roy to write this book. We navigate potential pathways for the future of monogamy, acknowledging the innate differences between men and women (even if our proposed solutions slightly differ!).

Prof. Roy Baumeister is an esteemed figure in social psychology and professor at the University of Queensland. His influential research has focused on self-esteem, the need of belongingness, sexuality, sex differences, and willpower. Tune in to unravel the layers of male psychology, guided by the expertise of Prof. Roy Baumeister.

In this episode featuring Gal Sheppes, we delved into the intricate world of managing emotions.

We discussed the difference between emotion generation and regulation, highlighting the importance of tailored interventions for each aspect.

We explored the flexibility of emotion regulation strategies, examining their continuum from disengagement to engagement across various contexts. Gal shared insights into the stages of emotion regulation, shedding light on their significance across different time frames.

We continued on to the intersection of emotion regulation with conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and addiction.

Gal also provided insights on fostering healthy emotion regulation in children and navigating emotions during relational conflicts for healthier relationships. Tune in to learn more about how our emotions work and how we can manage them more consciously.

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Gal Sheppes is a professor of clinical psychology at Tel Aviv University, and his research focuses on the underlying mechanisms of emotion regulation and self-regulation among healthy and clinical populations.

In this episode, I spoke with Bryan Caplan, a professor of economics and an avid author on the culture wars.

Bryan wrote a book called “Don’t Be a Feminist: A Letter to My Daughter” and we discussed some of the issues with modern feminism today.

We spoke about his latest appearance on Louise Perry’s podcast Maiden Mother Matriarch and some of the disagreements that they had there. I did my best to defend Louise’s book 'The Case Against the Sexual Revolution' and her critique of the extremely liberal sexual culture we find ourselves in, because I think it’s an important message for young women and men who want to find a long-term relationship and find themselves disillusioned with the current status quo of dating.

We talked about Bryan's advice on dating today and how men and women can overcome their social anxiety when trying to find love. And lastly, we spoke about Bryan’s new book that will be coming out soon “You Will Not Stampede Me: Essays on Non-Conformism” and we got into a bit of a debate on nationalism.

I am very interested in hearing your opinions on the points we raised on feminism, modern dating, and nationalism, so do leave a comment and share your thoughts.

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00:00 Intro

01:22 Why You Shouldn't Be a Feminist

06:17 How Do We Define Fairness & Equality?

24:00 Are Gender Norms Harmful?

41:24 Louise Perry & The Case Against the Sexual Revolution

1:20:00 Is Nationalism Good or Bad?

In today's episode, I spoke with Louise Hawkley about loneliness.

We spoke about the paradox of feeling lonely even when surrounded by people, why loneliness is so painful to us on a visceral level, and how we are hardwired for social connection.

Louise’s work has shown the significant consequences that loneliness can have on our mental health and our physical health. Loneliness can completely distort the way we see the world, and it can have serious physiological, hormonal, and genetic effects. We also discussed some of the drivers of loneliness in our modern world - such as social media and changing family dynamics - and finally, what we can do about it.

We shared practical ways to combat loneliness, overcome social anxiety, and cultivate more meaningful relationships. Tune in to learn more about loneliness and the ways in which we can build a more connected society.

Prof. Louise Hawkley is a principal research scientist at NORC of the University of Chicago, and her research focuses on loneliness, its impacts on physical and mental health, with a special emphasis on the aging population.

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00:00 Intro

01:02 What is loneliness?

04:33 Why is loneliness so painful?

06:00 Are we in a loneliness epidemic?

09:44 Mental health effects of chronic loneliness

14:45 Overcoming social anxiety

19:45 Loneliness causes diseases of inflammation

31:00 Cultivating relationships for life

34:28 Men and women suffer from different types of loneliness

39:14 Causes for the rise in loneliness - is social media to blame?

44:00 Authenticity is key for true belonging

In today's episode, I spoke with Randy Thornhill, about the biological basis of beauty, how diseases influence political views and values, and the evolutionary history of rape and sexual coercion.

We spoke about how hormonal health influences sexual attraction, how developmental health influences our facial symmetry, and how improving our health can have a direct effect on our beauty and attractiveness.

We also discussed Randy’s groundbreaking theory called the Parasite-Stress Theory - which has shown that authoritarian and liberal views are often driven by the extent to which we’re exposed to infectious diseases. The more infectious diseases there are in an area, the more suspicious of outsiders we become, and vice versa. These mechanisms are part of our 'behavioral immune system'. This theory has really important implications for understanding how we construct our values and how certain factors of our environment, that we’re mostly unaware of, can completely shape our perception.

We then went on to speak about another one of Randy’s important books - 'The Natural History of Rape'. This is obviously a difficult subject to cover, and we did our best to do it justice, and to lay out Randy’s findings on the evolutionary roots of sexual coercion and why it exists. Not a pretty truth, for sure, but it is an important truth nonetheless, and I hope you find it useful.

I am very interested in hearing your thoughts on the ideas raised here. Do they make sense? Do you agree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Randy Thornhill is a professor of evolutionary biology at the University of New Mexico. His parasite-stress theory, or pathogen-stress theory, is a theory of human evolution proposing that parasites and diseases encountered by a species shape the development of the values and qualities of that species. This theory has revolutionized evolutionary psychology and has been highly replicated since its conception.

00:00 Evolutionary & Biological Basis of Beauty

2:10 Hormonal Health & The Effects of Estrogen & Testosterone

10:25 Developmental Health & Bilateral Symmetry

19:10 We Can Look More Beautiful by Being Healthier

25:17 Parasite-Stress Theory: How Diseases Influence Political Views

28:35 Xenophobia is a Behavioral Immune System Response

52:11 "The Natural History of Rape"

58:55 Age of Rape Victims

1:02:28 Is Rape About Power?

1:09:53 Rape is a Low-Cost Strategy

In today's episode I spoke with Dr. Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and author. We spoke about Marianne's killer book Monogamy: The Untold Story.

In the book, Marianne takes us through the most common challenges of monogamy - but says they’re not inevitable! By understanding the usual ways in which sex drives in marriage get derailed - Marianne shows us how we can overcome these common pitfalls and keep the magic very much alive.

We talked about the differences between men and women's sex drives, what men and women need in their relationship, and what couples can do to find a good balance. We spoke about the damaging effects of birth control pills on women’s sex drive and how hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can be a good solution for women who are particularly affected by perimenopausal symptoms.

We spoke about how women often get dissociated from their bodies and how this can affect their sex lives. Marianne mentioned that yoga and brief meditations can make a big difference, helping women who feel disconnected from their bodies to re-attune to their bodily sensations. We also spoke about how some women still carry a lot of shame around sex because of messages they internalized in their earlier years. Marianne told us how she works with such women to release shameful feelings around sex and pleasure - especially when in the context of a loving, committed relationship.

We spoke about the different forms of infidelity and the various, creative ways in which people cheat on each other. Marianne gave us the details on what she's seen - from gray areas like sexting, porn, and OnlyFans to more clear forms of cheating like hook-up apps for married people and full-blown affairs.

We spoke about the beauty of monogamy and why humans are built for pair-bonding and attachment, even though monogamous relationships have their challenges. We gave our thoughts on why polyamory eventually ends in disaster - even with the best of intentions - and why Marianne considers polyamory a last resort.

We finished by speaking about Marianne’s Psychology Today blog 'The Future of Intimacy', where she shares helpful, practical advice for couples in the modern world. We dove into some of her most popular articles, where she talks about how modern couples can maintain a vital sex life, what to do if you're interested in sex - just not with your partner, and how advancements in sex tech - like VR porn and sex robots - are going to revolutionize the sexual marketplace.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Be sure to leave a comment and share your thoughts! 💬

00:00 Why Do So Many Married Couples Stop Having Sex?

7:25 Making Love vs. Primal Power Dynamics

11:20 There's No Version of "Fifty Shades of Grey" for Men

15:26 Common Complaints: Why Women Stop Wanting Sex

21:22 Birth Control Pills Kill Your Sex Drive

26:17 What Can Husbands Do to Have More Sex

34:24 Women: Being Connected to Our Bodies & Letting Go of Shame

43:10 Polyamory, Cheating, & Infidelity Gray Areas

50:20 Who Struggles Most with Monogamy?

56:10 Keeping the *Spark* Alive: Never Stop Flirting & Dating

59:12 “Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World”

1:01:12 Polygamous Societies Are The Most Violent Throughout History

1:02:08 Men Are Numbing Themselves with Drugs & Porn

1:04:00 VR Porn & The Future of Sex Tech

1:12:48 Good News: Will VR Porn Replace Sex Workers?

In today's episode, I spoke with Prof. Robert Plomin, a leading expert in psychology and behavioral genetics, and the author of "Blueprint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are." Through his research and best-selling book, Robert has made a strong case for the 'nature' side of the Nature vs. Nurture debate. We spoke at length about the significant role genetics play in shaping our personalities, behaviors, and preferences. It might be more than you think!

We kick off the episode exploring the misunderstood concept of heritability. Robert clarifies that heritability does not equal inevitability, shedding light on how genetic research focuses on 'what is', not 'what could be'. As we discussed the vast history of adoption and twin studies, we explored the roles that our genes and our environment have in shaping who we are. For example, adoption studies have consistently shown that adopted children had more in common with their biological parents than their adopted parents, suggesting that genes play a stronger role than the environment in shaping a child's personality and behavioral tendencies.

Robert shed light on the distinction between shared vs. non-shared environments and how individuals with distinct temperaments can shape their surroundings in quite unique ways. Even within the same family, siblings can elicit vastly different responses from their parents due to the differences in their genes and personality. We then dove into the world of personality, speaking about how genes show up in early temperament dimensions, such as a child's tendency to 'approach' or 'avoid', as well as in more developed traits such as extraversion and neuroticism.

Robert and I spoke about the research on IQ and genetics, noting the heritability and correlation of general intelligence 'g', school achievement, and other cognitive abilities. He explained the concept of 'generalist genes' and how - even though single-gene disorders do exist - more often than not genes are ‘generalists’, such that a single gene influences many traits & a single trait is often influenced by many genes.

With that in mind, we spoke about how psychopathologies are essentially extreme ends of normal personality traits. Rather than there being a 'distinct gene for schizophrenia', genetic research is showing that schizophrenia is highly correlated with the genetic roots of openness, creativity, and divergent thinking. We also spoke about how OCD can be thought of as an extreme manifestation of conscientiousness and orderliness, and ADHD can be thought of as extreme levels of activity, energy, and need for variety and movement.

For parents tuning in, we spoke at length about how this research can influence the way we parent. Robert emphasizes the importance of facilitating a child's natural development rather than molding them in a specific direction. Much of our child's personality, behaviors, and preferences are determined by their genetics. The best we can do is help them explore their innate interests and to develop their natural strengths as much as they can through practice and experience.

We finished off with DNA genotyping, polygenic scores, and services like 23andMe, Ancestry.com, and Stratagene to find out more about your own genetics.

Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how your genetic blueprint shapes who you are. If you're curious about personality, intelligence, and the broader implications of genetic science, this episode is a must-listen. Enjoy the journey into the fascinating world of behavioral genetics with Prof. Robert Plomin.

For more insights from Prof. Plomin, check out his work, and don't forget to subscribe for future episodes!

📚 Blueprint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are

Thank you for being part of The Bigger Picture community.

00:00 Genetics 101: What Does Heritability Actually Mean?

9:54 Twin & Adoption Studies

17:13 Genetics Matter More As We Age

19:03 Genetics Play a Big Role in IQ & Cognitive Abilities

22:10 The Race to University: We're Putting Too Much Pressure on Kids

23:47 A Message to Parents: Genes Greatly Influence Your Child's Personality!

31:46 Twin Studies & Shared vs. Non-Shared Environments

39:00 The Nature of Nurture: Our Genes Also Shape Our Environment

44:23 Provocative Observations: Bad Behavior Runs in a Family because of Genes

46:45 Novelty Seeking & Extraversion: Traits Linked with Cheating & Divorce

47:39 Personality & Genes

1:01:06 Psychopathologies are Extreme Ends of Normal Personality Traits

1:14:15 DNA Revolution: 23andMe, Ancestry.com, Stratagene, SNPs, & Polygenic Scores

In today's episode, I spoke with Erica Komisar about her best-selling book 'Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters'. We started with a quick mention of Erica's recent speech at the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship (ARC) Conference organized by Jordan Peterson, where she spoke about the importance of a mother's love, presence, and emotional attunement in the first three years of a child's life.

Erica brought us into her world of attachment, child development, and psychoanalysis, and she explained why the maternal instinct is not 'a ploy devised by the patriarchy to keep women at home' - rather it is an ancient, in-built biological system, common to all mammals. Human babies are born especially vulnerable compared to other mammals, and they rely on their mother for moment-to-moment emotion regulation. Erica explained how the early attachment relationship between mother and baby affects that child's future attachment security, emotional resilience, and social skills.

We spoke about the negative consequences that daycare can have on children's mental and physical health, and why we need to rethink the way we look at daycare - in terms of the length of time a child spends each day in daycare and the age at which they begin. For example, children who went to daycare were shown to have elevated levels of salivary cortisol, a biomarker for stress, that's correlated with the development of diseases of inflammation later on. Erica explains how a toddler's aggressive behavior or constant acting out is often their fight-or-flight response to the overwhelming stress of being disconnected from their mothers for extended periods of time.

We discussed the difficulties of postpartum depression, how it is often related to a woman being emotionally disconnected and uninterested in her baby, and why so many women are suffering from postpartum depression these days.

We also gave a shout out to dads, highlighting the tremendous role that a father has in his child's development. We spoke about how mothers and fathers parent differently, why these differences are important, and why both roles are necessary. For instance - fathers are especially important for regulating a child's aggression, enforcing boundaries, and facilitating the child's gradual separation from the mother through rough-and-tumble play.

Lastly, we spoke about the important achievements of second wave feminism - and where we each thought the movement went wrong. We discussed the paradox of a feminist movement that fought for women's right to be just like men - while devaluing femininity as such. Erica and I hope to see the pendulum swing back into a more balanced direction! One where women can have it all, just in different ways at different times.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the topics we raised today - did you agree or disagree? Do you have any questions for Erica that you'd like us to explore in a future episode? Share your thoughts in the comments below 💬

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Erica Komisar is a licensed clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and author of two best-selling developmental psychology books.

Check out her books below:

📚 Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters

📚 Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety

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00:00 Intro & Erica's ARC Conference Speech

5:00 Why Babies Need Their Mothers

14:30 Why Feminists Think the 'Maternal Instinct' is an Invention of the Patriarchy

18:12 When Mom Isn't There: Stress, Insecure Attachment, & Emotional Dysregulation

24:26 How Do I Know if Daycare is Negatively Affecting My Child?

28:01 A Toddler's Aggressive Behavior is a Fight or Flight Response

30:10 Do Children Need Daycare for the Socialization?

32:40 Genetics x Environment: Emotional Sensitivity Can Turn into Mental Illness

36:47 Causes of Postpartum Depression & Why It Takes a Village to Care for a Mother

45:02 Developing a Career Alongside Motherhood

50:30 The Important Role of Fathers

57:40 Where Feminism Went Wrong: Why Feminists are Against Motherhood

1:02:27 Should Everyone Have Children? How To Prepare for Motherhood

1:06:43 Where to Find More of Erica's Work

In today's episode, I spoke with Barbara Oakley about her work on pathological altruism and the dark side of empathy. Our discussion began by delving into Barbara's unique background and experiences, gaining valuable insights into her journey.

As the conversation unfolded, we addressed society's blindspot for pathological altruism, unraveling the Christian roots at the heart of our assumption that empathy for the weak and victimized is always good. The darker facets of empathy took center stage as we explored its potential for destructiveness in contexts such as codependency and abusive relationships. Our exploration extended to the cultural nuances surrounding altruism, shedding light on how its definition can significantly vary across diverse societies.

A focal point of our conversation was the vulnerability of highly agreeable individuals, particularly women, and their susceptibility to the influence of narcissistic personalities. We examined the potential harm in advising highly agreeable individuals to be more empathetic, since such a message can have a reinforcing effect on their self-sacrificing tendencies. Instead, agreeable people should be taught and encouraged to create healthy boundaries between themselves and others - boundaries that allow them to empathize with others without overidentifying and becoming consumed by others' feelings. We explored how Simon Baron Cohen's 'Empathizing - Systemizing' spectrum can be used to understand the characteristics of a hyper-empathizing brain type.

Our conversation extended to the influence of universities on ideologies, where we explored the promotion of Marxism, victimhood, and a pressure to conform to a perception of niceness. We also mentioned the overemphasis on teamwork in universities and its potential exploitation to the detriment of individual growth.

Lastly, we visited Ayn Rand's important work in warning the world of the dangers of socialism and misplaced altruism. Barbara shared some surprising facts about Ayn Rand's individualistic personality, which no doubt gave her the strength to speak out against the Soviet Union. We explored Ayn Rand's idea of selfishness and how a more expansive definition of the self can be used to integrate her philosophy with values such as relationships, family, and community.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Do let me know what you think about the dark side of empathy and agreeableness. Can you relate? Share your thoughts in the comments below. 💬

Barbara Ann Oakley is an American professor of engineering at Oakland University and McMaster University whose online courses on learning are some of the most popular massive open online course classes in the world. She is involved in multiple areas of research, ranging from behavioral science and STEM education, to learning practices.

🔗 Barbara's Website

Check out her books below:

📚 Cold Blooded Kindness

📚 Pathological Altruism

📚 Evil Genes

📚 Mindshift

00:00 Intro & Barbara's Journey

7:09 Why We Have a Blindspot for Pathological Altruism

8:35 Battered-Wives, Codependency, & When Empathy Turns Destructive

9:46 The Definition of Altruism Varies Across Cultures

11:46 Highly Agreeable Women Fall Prey to Narcissistic Men

17:41 Telling a Highly Agreeable Person to Be More Empathetic Can Be Harmful

19:34 Simon Baron Cohen's 'Empathizing - Systemizing' Spectrum

22:40 Why Empathy Isn't Always Good & When to Emotionally Disconnect

26:54 Healthy Balance Between Self-Interest & Empathizing w/ Others

29:14 Teamwork is Overemphasized & Taken Advantage of in Universities

31:18 Universities Push Marxism, Victimhood, & Always Being 'Nice'

32:06 Balancing Self & Other: What Did Ayn Rand Mean By Self Interest?

35:25 Marxism Doesn't Take Narcissists Into Account

37:55 Ayn Rand's Personality Gave Her Strength to Speak Out

40:31 Evidence that Ayn Rand Had a Narcissistic Personality Disorder

43:41 More Expansive Definition of Self: Me & Mine

44:18 Marxist Axioms: Selflessness is Good & We Can Change Human Nature

45:15 Case Study: Humanitarian Aid to Palestine Used for Terrorism

47:39 Confirmation Bias & Siding w/ the Underdog

50:06 Karl Popper's "Paradox of Tolerance"

51:53 Some People Care More About *Appearing* Good & Moral

54:19 Narcissists Like to Stick Together

55:16 Jordan Peterson's Research on Left-Wing Authoritarianism

56:24 How Do We Learn?

58:16 Practicing Is Good For Learning

1:00:23 Two Brain Networks & Modes of Thinking

1:02:02 Tedious Practice Can Lead to Mastery & Creativity

1:04:06 Applying These Strategies at Work & The Pomodoro Technique

1:07:30 Taking Breaks Increases Productivity & Insights

In today’s episode, I spoke with Seth Allison, a licensed clinical professional counselor and founder of the Grow Collective, a growth-focused collective of psychologists. We spoke about his latest conversation with John Vervaeke and the unique perspectives he shared there about attachment and relationality.

We dove into attachment theory, how humans are built for connection, and the visceral experience of being loved and seen by an intimate other. Seth has a very nuanced perspective on attachment, and we explored what happens when the early attachment relationship between parent and child is disrupted, and whether we should regard our attachment style as a lifetime diagnosis.

We spoke about monogamy, Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, and why conflicts between couples tend to be so explosive. We explored Sue’s idea of primary and secondary emotions, and how in most fights, we often use anger to mask how terrified we are of being abandoned by our partner.

Towards the end of our conversation, we spoke about intergenerational trauma, how insecure attachment is often passed down from generation to generation, and what we need to do to break the cycle. We discussed the role of warfare in the perpetuation of insecure attachment and I shared my newfound understanding of grief. Ultimately, the price of love and attachment is the pain and grief of loss.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Seth and I will be recording another episode where we plan on exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Jung.

Let us know in the comments below if there are any questions you’d like us to answer in the next episode 💬

Seth is an attachment-based therapist, working with adults, couples, and families. For more information about Seth’s work and the Grow Collective, click here.

00:00 Intro & Seth’s Background

9:55 Humans Are Built for Connection

11:10 fMRI Study: Love Makes The World Less Painful

18:29 Are We Built for Monogamy?

22:38 Do Relationship Promote or Stifle Personal Growth?

30:14 Are Attachment Styles Real?

35:03 Attachment Parenting is Not Gentle Parenting

42:13 Changing Your Attachment Style through Relationship

48:40 EFT Couples Therapy & Why Fights Get So Intense

56:31 Secure Attachment Can Heal Intergenerational Trauma

59:58 Does Intergenerational Trauma Stem from War?

1:05:12 “I didn’t understand grief until I was married”

In today's episode, I spoke with Leonard Sax about his book 'Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men'.

Leonard Sax is an American psychologist and a practicing family physician. He is best known as the author of four books for parents: Boys Adrift, Girls on the Edge, Why Gender Matters, and the Collapse of Parenting.

Highlights

* 00:00 Intro

* 6:52 Factor 1: Schools

* 23:27 Motivation & Personality

* 33:52 Factor 2: Video Games

* 41:40 Roni's World of Warcraft Days

* 53:07 Factor 3: ADHD Meds

* 1:06:44 Factor 4: Endocrine Disruptors

* 1:13:37 Factor 5: Male Role Models

* 1:21:32 Don't Let Toxic Pop Culture Raise Your Children

* 1:23:55 Where You Can Find Leonard's Work

In today's episode, I spoke with Bettina Arndt, delving into the often-overlooked issue of an anti-male culture shaped by evolving feminist dynamics since the 1960s.

* Anti-Men Culture: Explore how empowering women inadvertently led to an anti-male philosophy, leaving some men feeling powerless in a system stacked against them.

* Sex in Marriage: Drawing from her book "Sex Diaries", Bettina shared the secrets of couples who maintain vital sex lives, and the more frequent issue of sex-starved husbands and the emotional toll.

* Toxic Femininity: We spoke about Bettina's popular "Politics of Cleavage" video, where she discusses the power of female sexuality, and how women should use this power wisely - instead of making men feel like creeps.

Share your thoughts in the comments below and continue the conversation. I love hearing from you! 💬

Bettina Arndt is a rare public voice speaking on behalf of men – and the women who love them. This respected social commentator is renowned for tackling unmentionable topics. A former clinical psychologist and one of Australia’s first sex therapists, she first became well-known for breaking down taboos about talking about sex. She now writes an influential blog on Substack denouncing feminism and advocating for men’s rights, as well as providing support for falsely accused men on campuses and elsewhere.

For more of Bettina’s work:

* Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles

* #MenToo

* Bettina's Substack

In today's episode, I dive deep into the fascinating world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) with returning guest Seth Allison.

We explore Richard Schwartz's groundbreaking book "No Bad Parts," tracing the history and development of IFS, particularly its origins with eating disordered patients, and the paradigm shift it introduces away from a mono-mind approach.

We delve into the core components of IFS, exploring the distinct roles of Exiles, Firefighters, and Protectors. According to IFS - there are no bad parts, only bad roles. To make it more personal, I share my initial encounter with IFS and the profound impact it had on me.

Join me as Seth Allison guides me through an insightful IFS session, as I meet and interact with an internal Protector.

If you're curious about unlocking the mysteries of your inner world and understanding the dynamics of Internal Family Systems, this episode is a must-watch! Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments below. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together!

In today's episode, I spoke with Helen Joyce, journalist and author of 'Trans: When Ideology Meets Reality'.

We dove into the transgender debate, uncovering key elements of the trans ideology and the harmful effects of gender affirmative care.

Here are some key points we discussed:

1. Gender identity vs. biological sex: What each means and why they're not the same.

2. Origin of the term 'gender': Exploring where the term came from, why it's useful, and where it allows us to distort our biological reality.

3. Paradox of gender stereotypes: How trans individuals embody stereotypes while claiming gender isn't binary.

4. Abstract vs. concrete: The Jungian idea that it is dangerous to turn what is symbolic into the concrete.

5. Gender clinics: The harmful practices of gender specialists and the slippery slope of puberty blockers, hormones, and invasive surgeries.

Subscribe to stay up to date with new episodes, articles, and upcoming online events.

6. Parents are terrorized: Parents are told that their child will commit suicide if the parent does not affirm their child's preferred genders.

7. Types of transgender: Exploring androphilia and autogynephilia among men, and rapid-onset gender dysphoria and social contagion among teenage girls.

8. Social media's effect on girls: Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Tumblr are spreading trans ideology to vulnerable teenage girls. *

9. Fan Fiction Trend: The new trend of erotic fan fiction written by teenage girls for teenage girls, with romantic love stories between male characters from popular books (think a romance story between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter!)

10. Trans rights vs. women's rights: Men identifying as trans women are impinging on women's sports and endangering women in prisons.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below 💭

—

This episode was recorded on February 22nd, 2024.

In today's episode, I spoke with Nir Boms, a research fellow of the Moshe Dayan Center specializing in Middle Eastern policy and counter-terrorism.

We spoke about:

* The tragic events of October 7th

* The Abraham Accords & progress with Saudi Arabia

* Iran's role in instigating terrorism

* Deradicalization of Palestinians

* The Jewish legacy of hope and praying for peace

* A hopeful vision for a peaceful Middle East

Join me for an in-depth interview with Suzanne Venker as we explore her latest book 'How to Build a Better Life.' We discuss the pitfalls of modern dating, the essential role of motherhood, and why a fulfilling life often means going against the grain. Suzanne shares her insights on why women shouldn’t chase men, the importance of dating with purpose, and why careers might not be the ultimate path to happiness.We also tackle the controversial topic of casual sex and delve into the fundamental differences between men and women. This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone looking to redefine what it means to live a successful life! 🚀💫

Are you tired of the chaos in today’s dating world?

You’re not alone.

Everyone seems to be complaining about modern dating, but what’s really going on?

In this video, we’ll break down the psychology behind why dating feels like a mess—and more importantly, what you can do about it.

We’ll explore five key reasons that are shaping modern dating, from the negative messaging around marriage to the normalization of hookup culture and the toxic dynamics of dating apps.

If you’ve been navigating the challenges of finding meaningful connection, this video will help you cut through the noise and reclaim your dating life. Key points covered:

* The negative messaging around marriage and monogamy.

* How we’ve forgotten what dating is really for.

* The harmful impact of hookup culture.

* The pathology of dating apps.

* The antagonism between the sexes.

Stick around for practical tips and insights that’ll help you find the love you’ve been looking for. Let’s take the dating culture back.

Timestamps00:00 Intro 02:53 The 5 reasons dating is a mess 03:08 (1) Negative messaging around marriage 12:20 (2) We've forgotten what dating is for 18:10 (3) Hookup culture 29:28 (4) Dating apps 43:38 (5) Antagonism between the sexes 57:57 The answer: positive masculinity & femininity

Woke culture isn't just some passing trend or a punchline about purple-haired activists.

It's a dangerous ideology that's infiltrating everything-our schools, universities, corporations, and governments.

If we don't wake up to what's really going on, the values that built Western society are at risk of being completely torn apart.

In this video, we're going to take a deep dive into where wokeism came from, tracing it back to Marxism, postmodernism, and other critical theories that laid the foundation for the chaos we see today.

We'll explore how ideas like "diversity, equity, and inclusion" aren't as harmless as they sound, and how these woke doctrines are used to manipulate us into silence.

More importantly, we'll talk about what we're fighting for-the values that made the West great: reason, individual freedom, and a belief in objective truth.

If you're ready to really understand the woke mind virus and how to stand up to it, then let's dive in.

* (00:00) Intro

* (02:58) The Current Woke Narrative

* (04:27) Marxism

* (07:17) Socialism

* (10:08) The tragedies of Soviet Union and Mao's China

* (12:39) Communism

* (14:46) Post-modernism

* (23:31) Critical Race Theory

* (26:13) Radical Feminism

* (27:46) Red-pill is a backlash against radical feminism

* (28:46) Post-colonialism

* (33:45) Queer Theory

* (38:08) Modern Wokeism

* (39:30) All movies are woke now

* (47:16) DEI: Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion

* (53:52) The Western Legacy

* (58:18) The youth are taught to HATE Western culture

One of the tragedies of our time is how young men have been taught that their masculinity is toxic.

We’re constantly bombarded with the message that traditional masculine virtues are somehow dangerous.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

In this video, I dig into why we need strong, responsible men in our society and how the toxic masculinity narrative is leaving boys without the role models they desperately need.

I’ll break down why fathers are essential for healthy children, how men have shaped the world we live in, and why it’s time we start appreciating men’s contributions instead of undermining them.

If you’ve ever felt aimless or discouraged, this video is for you. It’s time to rethink what we’re telling boys about what it means to be a man.

Timestamps:

* (00:00) Intro

* (01:16) Men are under-appreciated

* (05:10) The crisis of fatherlessness

* (10:32) The crisis of boys and men

Understanding your personality is one of the most important steps in building a life that aligns with who you are.

When you understand your strengths, you can lean into them and create a life that feels more effortless and fulfilling.

At the same time, becoming aware of your blind spots helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes and consciously develop weaker areas.

This video dives into the Big Five personality traits—extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, conscientiousness, and openness—offering a deep look at how these traits shape your life.

We explore the neurological and evolutionary basis of each trait and discuss how understanding where you fall on these spectrums can help you thrive.

You’ll learn why extroverts seek stimulation from social interactions while introverts prefer solitude, and why people high in agreeableness are empathetic but may struggle with boundaries.

We also look at how neuroticism is tied to emotional reactivity, why conscientiousness predicts success, and how openness drives creativity and exploration.

Whether you’re highly extroverted or deeply introverted, emotionally stable or prone to stress, understanding your personality can help you design a life that works for you.

If you’re curious to explore your own personality and develop both your strengths and weaknesses, this video is for you.

One-on-One SessionsFor one-on-one sessions to help you understand your own personality, reach out to me here: roni.fouks@gmail.com

My Book List Click here for full list

Timestamps

00:00 Why it’s important to know your personality

04:52 Extraversion

12:14 Agreeableness

21:31 Neuroticism

29:43 Conscientiousness

39:53 Openness

51:23 Let me help you understand yourself