
Help Me Be Me (Cloud10)
Explore every episode of Help Me Be Me
Dive into the complete episode list for Help Me Be Me. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
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13 Sep 2022 | Ep 180: How to Let Go of Shame Over a Past Life | 00:44:29 | |
Shame is one of the most damaging feelings because of how it defines us to us. This is a request and it’s for anyone who has shameful memories that cause them pain, a person who has changed their life and made amends but cannot seem to let go of the shame. I can relate! Know that it takes time, education, support, context, and also the light that comes from processing something. I think when we can own something and talk about it, it stops owning us and therefore it no longer defines us.
What I express in this episode is my personal path to letting go of shame. A lot of it still lingers around the most upsetting memories. I literally can’t even say what I’ve done on this show because that is how potent it is – I have tried and edited it out because I cannot bear for that to be circulating in the world. So that tells you something. Shame is SUPER INTENSE! I think of myself as having done a lot of work. So take heart and move through it at your own pace, don't be angry with yourself if it takes a bit longer on some things.
Warning: this is not for you if you have self-harmed in the last 3 months, if you are suffering from psychosis, or you are suicidal or homicidal.
For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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28 Mar 2024 | Ep 220: Remembering Yourself – Trust + Positivity Exercises | 00:44:17 | |
Think of this episode as a memory to be conjured. A memory of the truth of yourself: your power and goodness, and that you feel more present on the ride that is your life. It’s easy to live out a perspective fixated on what you haven’t done right or what is just out of reach. To reduce life to transactions versus a felt sense of magic.
This episode is kind of “hippy” in that it’s got some guided imageries. Reason being, a lot of us don’t see the greatness in ourselves unless we are given a powerful mirror. Someone who has witnessed the path we have walked and all that we have grown to become. Often it takes an experience with this kind of person or getting outside of our bubble, to jog this deeper memory of self. A compliment from the right person has the power to inspire us and move us. Through these glimpses, we see a different truth and a more positive version of the world. I wanted to try some visualizations with you today that tap into that knowing, deliberately.
Unless we curate a deeper perspective of ourselves and humanity, we can miss it for years at a time. We get conditioned into reaching toward stuff, or we get stuck in a powerful current of work that leaves us in an energy saving mode. My goal is that you tune into a sense of fullness with this episode and a deeper connection to the person you have become.
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30 Jan 2025 | Ep 242: Befriending Yourself – Growing self-respect | 00:57:38 | |
If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move through the chatter that is your anxiety or perhaps at times negative chatter and self-analysis. We have to learn how to become a consistent friend to ourselves and that is how we start to really like who we are, regardless of the external. Like meeting a new friend, this can start at any time in your life – it just requires a commitment.
This episode is also about when we cannot get to a particular behavior change – seeing that there is a block behind that: a blindness to a lie we are believing. These “feelings stones” create misalignments and block us from actualizing change because we can’t see where we are unable to accept something as true. I have an example from my own life to explain this better – for me that misalignment is blowing up at my kids/how i feel about that and why I have been unable to stop.
This is the book Chatter that I mentioned: https://amzn.to/4gj4Tyf
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14 Oct 2022 | Introducing: ReThinking: Allyson Felix on Defeating Disappointment and Savoring Success | 00:59:20 | |
Hi friends! This is a preview of a podcast from our friends at TED Audio Collective: ReThinking with Adam Grant. In this episode, organizational psychologist Adam interviews Olympic medalist Allyson on finding motivation, bouncing back from failures, and learning to appreciate successes. If you’d like to hear more from leading thinkers and creators, follow ReThinking wherever you get your podcasts. Each week, Adam dives into the minds of interesting people to learn the unique ways they think and find practices we can all apply in our daily lives to live a little better. This season, the show features guests like bestselling author Celeste Ng, Oscar-winning actor Reese Witherspoon, and death-defying rock climber Alex Honnold. Enjoy!!
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11 Oct 2022 | Ep 182: Codependency in Relationships – Stepping back from a habit of controlling | 00:39:48 | |
This is an episode for anyone who is spending a whole lot of time and energy fixated on the habits, thoughts, or faults of a person they have a relationship with. Maybe that is a partner, parent, friend or a sibling. Regardless, this relationship is lopsided: you do all the things and they do not. Let’s say you are a caregiver type: you know how to make others function better than they know how to function, solo. But that also means you end up annoyed and exhausted.
This is an episode tailored around stepping back from the energy and habit of being controlling – because despite how it feels, we really do have a choice. It’s hard to see that if you are in a relationship with someone who is using, depressed, or needy. But truly – when you step back, new opportunities open up. We can let go of all the struggle that we create for ourselves – and get such relief, instantly.
What we often forget is that to be overly fixated on the thoughts, feelings, faults or ways of another person really robs us of our own enjoyment of life. It also robs the other person of the dignity of making their own mistakes.
Caveat: this is not for you to listen to if you are a caregiver to a dependent, like a child.
For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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06 Jul 2022 | Ep 175: Non-Stop Seeking – For feeling empty, never enough and unfulfilled | 00:45:41 | |
A meditation on the feeling of non-stop seeking and grasping toward things that exist on the outside – versus asking from the inside, how can my life become more meaningful.
I think a lot of people look outward for a source of success and fulfillment: in what others say, in what we have, in all the proof points of “I am enough.” And that is reinforced by the systems in place: social media, devices, content, entertainment…
This is an episode that invites you to consider: Maybe there’s nothing to fix, but the problem lies in our grasping and avoiding of discomfort. This episode also invites you to scan back on your life and look at what truer values are for your happiness – the things you don’t necessarily see reflected back to you on a phone. What are the moments that only you appreciate and how can you bring out more of them in your life? It starts with becoming aware of this habit loop in the first place.
The book I mention in this episode is here:
https://amzn.to/3IluA22
For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo!
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12 Apr 2022 | Ep 169: Know Thyself - Moving through fear + ambivalence + growing self-trust | 00:48:14 | |
Fear is a state of mind. This is for you if you are currently doing any self-work and trying to grow your confidence especially when it comes to overthinking your decisions. It's something to practice if you’re in a fear-state or overly identified with your thoughts. It's for when you have pain around life being what it is, in the form of regret. There are tools for self-forgiveness via acceptance of what is and what was. Or gentle practices around forgiveness especially in the moments of self-doubt when you cringe at something you’ve done or said. So this is really cringing of all kinds! Past and recent – the goal here: know thyself.
This is for moving into a state of relief and safety. I intend it for you to use when it relates to yourself – feelings of self-doubt you may have when you don't trust yourself or overthink everything you do.
For more of my work head to Yaywithme.com xo!
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03 Aug 2021 | Ep 151: Easy Does It – Dealing with a stressful life | 00:45:47 | |
We have experiences that imprint the physical responses we have to stressors in our life – big or small. So if you are feeling a sense of inner chaos and overwhelm, or you are feeling like you cannot handle all that is happening in your life, this is likely at least in part related to your physiological wiring. Meaning the experiences that impacted you the most from your upbringing. Maybe you get that feeling of panic or you have been feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that causes you to procrastinate. Yes, stress has a lot to do with our literal life circumstances, but what we bring to those circumstances is also a huge piece of the puzzle.
So if you are feeling a sense of “I can’t handle it” – or you have been snapping a lot lately, or you’ve been feeling numb – or very irritable, or perhaps very controlling and like a motor that is slowly running into the ground– this is an episode for you. I cover a lot of ways to lighten your load and come back to a place of resource. There are three parts to this episode – the what why and how the tools.
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07 Dec 2022 | Ep 186: Life and Death - Making the Most of Time with Our Loved Ones | 00:43:18 | |
Life is temporary – and that is kind of a beautiful thing. I recall as a child thinking that was so intensely and overwhelmingly sad. I almost couldn’t comprehend it. And now I can and I see it as a beautiful part of this experience.
I think a lot of people don’t think about that part of life because it’s too far off or too painful to think about, and because of that we don’t curate our experiences in the way we might if it was more top of mind. Meaning we spend a lot of time in the doing. The pursuing. The distractions. The stuff that doesn’t matter. Often it takes a loss to see how short and temporary life is and how quickly it goes by, to put things in perspective.
So as you move through this life experience, what can we do? We can first become aware. Make it a goal – an intention– to appreciate, value, slow down, be present. Enjoy. And we can be thoughtful in the experiences we curate and the time we invest.
The goal of this episode is to allow yourself the opportunity to take stock of your priorities and the relationships that have great meaning in your life. Maybe that means changing your relationship to a parent or elder for the better. Maybe it means investing your time differently. Or simply appreciating those in your life a bit more.
I’d like this to be a happy and positive episode. Not a downer. Hopefully this allows you to reflect and re-enter an old relationship, anew.
This has been a request quite a few times and it’s also something I have been thinking a lot about. Aging parents, losing loved ones recently. I hope you enjoy it and so so sorry for the background noise! I had to record outside because of sick kids at home.
For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo
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30 Aug 2022 | Ep 179: Difficult Relationships + the power of projection | 00:40:25 | |
For anyone who is dealing with a friend or family member (or anyone, really) who feels you are critical, rude, insensitive or always in the wrong. And when this happens, you are baffled...
Projection is powerful. What we see we believe but most of it is created by our inner world. The reason I’m doing this episode is because projection is also a major factor in how someone charts their course in life. So if that person is self-loathing, unhappy, insecure and angry – they will be making decisions based on this set of feelings – including as it relates to their relationship with others. That person may choose to cut off contact with you, feel offended by you, or think of you as insulting them in the most average of situations. In other worlds, all they can see is how they feel inside. Regardless of how irrational, they see their reasoning as valid, and this is like a welcome escape from their inner world. Because it’s out there! Not me. It’s them.
This episode has tools for setting boundaries with a person like this – and also tools for orienting yourself in the face of this.
For more of my work and to make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com
The two articles I mention in this episode are here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection
https://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology
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15 Mar 2022 | EP 167: Moving Out of Jealousy + Comparison - How to Let Creativity Unfold | 00:46:27 | |
This is an episode all about how to move out of a state of comparison – one that prevents us from being a creative, embodied self. I would also say this is an episode for anyone out there who is painfully sensitive – like myself. It can be almost scary to put your heart on the line and invest in an act of self-expression. Your own mind can be the most stunting voice blocking you from being in a flow-state. The tools in this episode has a little of everything – all aimed at moving out of negative energy that is critical and into that more open, expansive, positive energy of creation.
For more of my work you can head to Yaywithme.com and to become a sponsor you can also visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB
Xo!
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09 May 2023 | Ep 197: Creative Power: Fully Tapping Into Your Creative Voice | 00:42:42 | |
This is an episode all about tuning into your authentic self, the practice of play and having fun for the sake of strengthening your creative muscles.
You can curate an inner state that allows you to tap into your creativity, intuition and joyful presence so you can channel your authentic creative voice. This is a reservoir that exists at all times, and you can draw upon it if you exercise these muscles and make it a consistent practice. This is also about creating an inner hierarchy in that it enhances the way you look at the world and everything in it.
We create the world and future we want to see. What are you inviting? And follow-up question, is it hindered by unconscious fear and resistance? SO much of what stops us from success in areas we want to pursue are unseen blocks. Old fears that we think don’t mean much to us but in our behaviors they do.
We very much want the average of our life to be made up of things that are excellent and inspiring. When all that we take in is creative, inspiring, and artful, this becomes the platform from which we launch. It’s our “raw material.”
We create a world for ourselves with not only what we choose to focus on, but also the energy and perspective we curate, the people we surround ourselves with, the content we ingest, and the level we hold ourselves to in our personal bar. Never forget that you can boost that world and make it reflective of all that you love.
This is dedicated to Rick Rubin - we are preaching a lot of the same messages. Love your new book and I recommend it to everyone!
To get the amazing book by Rick Rubin:
The Creative Act
To support this week’s sponsors:
Native Sunscreen
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For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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20 Jun 2023 | Ep 200: Getting Back Into the Energy of Limitlessness: Mental Tuning Exercises | 00:33:27 | |
Everything we live is either a bad habit or a good habit. What are you rehearsing feeling?
This is for remembering a sense of limitlessness, and by that I mean the perspective of openness and optimism. We all have days like that – when we can see “wow, anything is possible and I am capable of anything!” When we feel our best, most confident and we feel strongly that the universe is on our side. Yet we can also fall into grooves of feeling small, limited and put upon. But the good news is we can jump out of that energy by reminding ourselves that the former exists. It’s a memory of reality that we can resume.
So my hope with this episode is that you wilk really remember how that feels – to live in an awareness of your own limitlessness.
For more of my work and to make a donation head to Yay With Me! xo
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27 Sep 2022 | Ep 181: Breaking Up With Your Thoughts: An interview with Byron Katie | 01:04:18 | |
This is my interview with the amazing author/speaker, Byron Katie. I wanted to do this interview because I feel that her process is powerful but simple and it very much enables individuals to practice disengaging from thoughts that are not helpful and/or cause a lot of pain and perpetuate dysfunctional behavior.
We discuss her process for breaking free of thoughts that keep us trapped in loops of reaction. We also discuss how these thoughts are self-inflicted and the idea that pain is something that is predominantly created by ourselves, in our minds.
TRIGGER WARNING: we discuss topics such as being the victim of a physical violation, so please avoid if this is a topic too sensitive for you.
Byron Katie is the creator of “The Work” and practices “The 4 Questions of Inquiry” as well as “The Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet” which is found at the link below.
To check out Byron Katie’s app plus download her free worksheets, head to:
https://thework.com/
For more of my work, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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04 Dec 2024 | Ep 238: Giving Grace to Self and Others | 00:48:43 | |
This is an episode aimed at being connected to yourself in a loving way and coming from compassion with others in your life. It’s an invitation to connect to yourself and others more deeply. Grace is defined as courteous goodwill or (in religious terms) the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. I am using this term “grace” to refer to a resting state of love and receptivity. This is how we can be of service to others and also how we expand our quality of life. The greatest path to a feeling of self-satisfaction is to do something that you are proud of, which comes about pretty often when you live from a state of grace as you move through the world.
To be honest, I am very embarrassed by this episode but I 100% mean it. It’s SUPER gooey and touchy-feely, but it’s something I need to hear and therefore, I am posting it! Why? I feel we are all managing the imbalances created by a fast-paced, adult, functioning life, and many of us are medicating to have access to our humanity. We get these fleeting windows where we have a full awareness of life’s meaning, our boundless love, and creativity. So this is a reflective episode aimed at being able to access these parts of ourselves and live through them. Tapping into the vein that was so primary in our childhood. I think part of that equation is to live in a state of grace: giving it to yourself and to others.
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25 Apr 2023 | Ep 196: Curating the Space to Know What’s Important | 00:43:22 | |
What is the most important ingredient for living a happy life? Knowing what you want. This is an episode aimed at giving you awareness and intention: making the space to be able to tell how you feel while you live your life.
This is for burnout. Exhaustion. And not being sure you’re happy with where you are and what you’re doing. Know that the little maneuvers go a long way: changing how you invest 5 minutes here and there can alter how you feel about your entire life. Once we have an awareness of what we value, space opens up for those things to flower with simple honesty and intention.
To support this week’s sponsors please check out:
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And to see more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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29 Sep 2021 | Ep 155: In Love With an Addict - Codependent and obsessed with someone else’s using | 01:01:07 | |
For those in the throes of an obsession with an addict or high on your codependency – maybe you’re in love with someone and they start using or you discover they have an addiction, be that drugs, sex, alcohol. And they have continued to use despite you telling them you need them to stop.
If you are in the midst of a relationship that suddenly turned crazy due to one partner resuming an addiction, this can lead to you feeling crazy, yourself. This is to listen to in the moment this occurs – especially if you feel like you are losing yourself and your sanity.
Major caveat: This is for if you have an adult in your life who is using – not if you are a parent with a child who is using. Things are complicated when you have a child because you are responsible for caring for them and they are not adults yet capable of caring for themselves. I would not give you the same advice.
I know it’s tough when you are in an area where there is no access to good 12-step meetings – so if you don’t have any friends, family, or concrete resources like a good therapist with experience in addiction or a good meeting like COSA, Alanon or SLA, then this is for you. Because I listed this in the episode and they are one of my sponsors – please check out: BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for online access to therapists!
To support our sponsors this week check out:
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SarahFlint.com/HelpMeBeMe for $50 off a gorgeous Italian-made pair of shoes.
The two books I mention in this episode are here for the daily reflection book:
https://amzn.to/3CWwke8
And here for the audiobook:
https://amzn.to/2Y2uklu
And hang in there. I know this part is really not fun. Xoxo.
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10 Oct 2024 | Ep 234: Falling in Love with Potential – Choosing unhealthy partners | 00:59:57 | |
A lot of people fall in love with a person they see another person COULD be and not who they currently are. I was this way for a long time and yet I couldn’t see the pattern in my choices. Often we become so attached to a person after seeing their awesome potential and we hold on, despite bad behavior, for that person to reappear. We over-function to help them get somewhere new, thinking we are helping and changing something when we are not.
Often that means living through months or years of bad treatment when the other person is not capable of being kind, loving, receptive, or present with us. Maybe they are in their own world and we are left confused as to why our requests are so unreasonable. You might start to feel like you are crazy, like you are being too demanding, or that is what they make you feel.
It really doesn’t matter what they are really doing or thinking – you may be fixated on that. The most important info is that they are unavailable, not capable, not consistent and you have to accept that at face value. This is what I want to focus on in this episode. How you can move forward knowing this info and how you can avoid this situation in the future. This will hopefully demystify what is happening and why it is happening. And hopefully giving you a path forward in a loop you may be trapped in.
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Nature’s Blend
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07 Dec 2023 | Ep 212: Self-forgiveness – Releasing a regret you are holding onto | 00:48:13 | |
This is for anyone who is holding onto a regret or pain that affects their identity in the present: something that you do not want to take into the new year. When something is bugging us about the past, we are really just pausing a part of the present and living through a warped memory. Sometimes that is because we feel that this will somehow give us what we deserve, like an unconscious act of penance. And sometimes it’s because we are twitching around this thing– almost like a muscle spasm. When we just can’t seem to face a regret in an objective and open way, we cannot process and release it.
So this is my invitation to release the spasm! Pop that zit! Let’s break open that thing whatever it is and work it out so that we can release it. A lot of the time these things will inform the next steps and that will be a gift. Don’t fear it, welcome it, it actually sets us free. I say that because SOOO many of the things that scare us from the past are actually really old fears that are not current or do not belong to the present. Like they are the fears of a 9-year-old self. Or the fears of a very sad child. Which takes me to an important caveat: approach this episode safely. I don’t want to make you triggered, overwhelmed or unstable. The holidays are already a big and heavy season because of that recurring marker that is this time of year.
For you I want to remind you of therapy– a great resource to process sadness and grief caused by the echo of unprocessed loss. Often our bodies are in a static state of “but I don’t want this to be true.” And this is just an echo of that- like a splinter that now has formed scar tissue over it.
For all of you I say walk toward the conflict within and let it be seen as a gift of insight and growth. It will be if you choose to see it as an opportunity.
For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo
This episode is brought to you by EveryPlate!
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And, if you want to donate to a very worthy cause, head to TheTeenProject.com – help rescue victims of sex-trafficking!
And if you want to get started with some therapy, visit BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe xo!
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27 Sep 2023 | Ep 207: The Long Game – Healthy Boundaries for Complicated Arrangements | 00:49:06 | |
This is for issues related to couples or former couples who are bound together by some means – whether that be a business, children, or a living circumstance. OR perhaps you are in a long-term relationship that is no longer healthy or loving that you are choosing to remain in, for a particular reason. This is for navigating from an empowered and compassionate position, negotiating voicing your needs when they might conflict with the needs or wishes of the other.
This is for getting to the truth of the experience – seeing what needs boundary work, and also what is outside of your control. A lot of our pain comes from resisting something that simply needs processing/to move through our body.
The goal of this episode is to give you a change of perspective so you can act from a place of agency and honesty. Sending love, friends. Take heart…Life is long and complicated, it has many seasons – things will continue to change, so leave room for that.
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19 Jul 2022 | Ep 176: The Power of Openness– An interview with author Pam Grout | 00:53:36 | |
This is my (fan-girl) interview with Pam Grout – author, amazing human being & teacher of love and positivity. She has written 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind. One of the topics we discuss is disengaging from expectations! A lot of people struggle with unconsciousness. By that I mean getting lost in thoughts. In busyness. In mental commentating. In future expectations. We don’t realize how powerful expectations are as well as judgment of neutral facts–in creating our reality. When we can be open to seeing the alternate version of that same reality everything changes. Including the future we create for ourselves.
If you want to find Pam definitely read her blog and subscribe to get them via email:
https://pamgrout.com/
Here's her new book - The Course in Miracles Experiment:
https://amzn.to/3RGGQyp
And if you want to make a donation to the 222 Foundation, you can head here:
https://www.dccfoundation.org/fund/Taz-Grouts-222-Fund
If you want to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB
Xo!
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07 Jul 2021 | Ep 149: How to Move On Without Closure | 00:58:50 | |
How to move on if you didn’t get any explanation as to why someone is ending a relationship. Maybe that’s a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s a work relationship. Or maybe that’s a friendship. Because in that situation you might be searching for grounding that never comes. And this can be one of the hardest ways to end something – because it’s in itself a trauma.
If you are in need of more information on this subject, you can check out The Break-Up Album on YayWithMe.com/shop/the-break-up-album
That is my “break-up coach in a podcast album” that deals with how to move through a break-up in the most empowering, self-loving way possible. This is really like a truncated version of a chapter in the podcast album. And if you are really struggling, I highly recommend checking out BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe and chatting with a therapist. This can bring up a lot of old trauma around loss. Regardless - I send you my love and positive vibes of healing and self-discovery! xox
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24 Jan 2025 | Introducing: “Mantra with Jemma Sbeg" | 00:05:02 | |
Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever you get your podcasts.
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27 Dec 2022 | Introducing: Sorta Awesome | 00:04:46 | |
I would love to introduce "Sorta Awesome" a women's lifestyle podcast geared towards listeners who want to stay current on all things awesome, including culture, media and trending conversations! Each episode of Sorta Awesome begins with the Awesome of the Week. Meg and her co-host share a recent discovery that makes life easier, better or more sparkly. From there, the show delves into topics that are as varied as the team itself!
Sorta Awesome on Apple Podcasts- apple.co/sorta
Sorta Awesome on Spotify
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15 Sep 2023 | Ep 206: Not Falling Into Someone Else – Staying confidently yourself in relationships | 00:43:23 | |
Relationships are very difficult because we get lost in them: they can overtake our sense of self, especially if that relationship is long term and we don’t have a lot of contact with others outside of the relationship. This is a reminder to come back into your own shoes – if we tip off balance we start to default to what someone else wants or what we think they want us to do. To the other person, this can also feel like we don’t respect ourselves.
I use this metaphor often for relationships but they’re like a rubber band is around both people and we have to keep it taught by walking together, but separately. There should be equal and voluntary gift giving/taking, and if that balance has been tipped and things are growing lopsided, the most important thing you need to do is register and react to that truth.
This episode has tools for getting back in touch with your sense of self and also tools for setting healthy boundaries, if you are in a situation where the other person is encouraging the enmeshment.
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For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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14 Feb 2024 | Ep 217: Creating Meaning in Your Life – Making the Space for Joy | 00:59:42 | |
So much of our ability to enjoy and live a rich life comes down to our frame: how we interpret the ingredients and recognize “what is.” We also expect a TON from ourselves: We are constantly lamenting what we didn’t do, the thing that we failed at, how we fucked up this or that thing in our life, where we are still falling short. We have a very inhumane set of expectations around what we ask of ourselves: I am talking about overworking, overscheduling, overdemanding. At the cost of…happiness.
A lot of people believe they are supposed to continue to chase and muscle through work all the time. And that work will always come first and SHOULD always come first.
Like everything else should be scheduled in between all that striving and it will always come at a much lower priority. Work-first is a cultural norm that many have unconsciously accepted without considering whether or not that supports your truest goals. This is an episode aimed at asking what your authentic hierarchy is and then placing time and emphasis on those things.
So it’s for taking note of what is meaningful and then consciously putting time, focus and more energy toward those things. Which includes fighting against the current that is our natural energy saving tendencies. Because we are so inundated with stuff, it’s really hard to stay focused on what we really actually want to do! It’s harder than shutting off. So hopefully this will help with that as well.
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03 Jan 2023 | Ep 188: Let’s Plant Some Seeds: Reflections and intention-setting for the new year | 00:38:18 | |
Let’s start this year by reminding ourselves that we can have so much joy and fun and vibrance. And let’s also take stock of the things we love, and also the things we want to work on with a bit of focused energy.
In Tibetan the word Karma translates to action – seed – results. With this idea of planting seeds that eventually bloom into results, I wanted to invite you to reflect on your year past and scan areas for possible growth. The goal of this episode is to journal and reflect so we can be more intentional, conscious and compassionate as we bring about the year to come.
What will you grow with your actions? I invite you to grow more inspiration, love, intimacy, and health and success in your life.
For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com
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06 Jul 2024 | Ep 227: At a Breaking Point – A calming episode | 00:38:31 | |
If you are feeling pissed off, having angry outbursts, trending toward negativity, and feeling a sense of doom, there’s a likelihood that you are burned out. This is an episode inviting you to step back and recalibrate when “the pot is full,” so to speak. This isn’t about dismantling what’s working if you are currently high functioning and getting shit done. It’s about creating some air or wiggle room in the face of that burned-outness, and with that shifting your direction toward health and positivity. This has tools for focus cleansing and putting our thoughts and reactions in perspective. Some specific tools for codependent friends as well. Sending much love! If you want to check out the book I mentioned you can head here:
https://amzn.to/4cugoll
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07 Jun 2022 | Ep 173: Owning Yourself - Being fully embodied and unapologetically yourself | 00:45:38 | |
What does it take to own yourself? To be fully confident in your voice and unapologetically yourself in all situations. I think it takes being deeply rooted in our skin. I feel like a lot of us are robbed of parts of ourselves throughout our life – whether that’s during adolescence when you’re trying to fit in, or as an adult in a relationship where you are not confident in your beliefs and the other person talks you out of your feelings. As we grow up and grow stronger – we may reclaim parts of ourselves. Our values shift, and we may gather the pieces of past broken selves and put them back together – as a true part of us. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this process. So this is an episode in service of that – being unapologetically yourself, fully embodied, and validated just by your own opinions.
As I mentioned if you are a person who is in a relationship where you don’t feel safe and you know you want to exit it, this is a resource to start with:
https://www.thehotline.org/
Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call the domestic violence hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).
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10 May 2022 | Ep 171: An Introduction to Dream Work | 00:41:58 | |
Dream work is much more personal and specific to you – it’s powerful and amazing. And once you unlock the meaning behind one dream, I think you will be hooked. Because it’s like a shortcut to the suppressed feelings that are too far away from your conscious mind to be readily accessed. You might find that you have different feelings on topics than you think you do. I have found new confidence and awakening through dreamwork. I have also found insights that make me appreciate myself more. I have also discovered what I really felt despite what was going on in my present consciousness. I invite you to work with some of the material in your dreams to see what it alights in you!
This episode will get weird. But I think there’s a lot of power in dream work. I do it often. You can of this as the laymen’s casual intro to dreamwork – if you are curious about it. This is based on my personal dream work – how I’ve learned to work with my own dreams. I used to think that dream work was total bullshit because if you google it and read most any casual postings on how to interpret your dreams, it does not translate.
This is a totally experimental episode – and if you hate hearing about other people’s dreams, then not an episode for you!
The big picture book on dream work that I spoke about is this:
https://amzn.to/38AT49m
The Jung books I recommended are here:
https://amzn.to/37StaxV
https://amzn.to/3EXguC4
https://amzn.to/3kqAVxX
https://amzn.to/3rY3FlY
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15 Feb 2022 | Ep 165: Curating Life - Stepping back from thought patterns + elevating our energy | 01:00:40 | |
We choose our life with our energy. What are you choosing with your energy, currently?
In this episode I am going to invite you to become conscious in the sense that I will invite you to disengage from your thought patterns. To make room for newness and stay in a state of flow and at the very least– non-attachment, throughout your day. When we practice this deliberately, we can navigate life more freely and reinvent ourselves time and time again. We just have to step back from whatever we are doing and become aware of what we are practicing.
When you can curate a sense of openness and freedom, amazing things happen! The day actually gets longer! And there’s more air, more color, more beauty. So choose the right thoughts and tune that energy. Xo
For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com
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22 Nov 2022 | Ep 185: Getting Out of Your Own Way | 00:52:32 | |
Tools and insights for those who have dreams but are unable to take action toward them. This is about how to work with fear of success and fear in general. And most importantly looking at what is holding you back. Because when we don’t act the goal isn’t to force ourselves to act when we’re not ready. (Like, this is not about being pro-impulse. Because often there are real factors in our ambivalence.) The goal is to begin to understand why you are not acting so you can take the right steps.
This is for anyone who has an inkling that they’d like to do something and they cannot for the life of them get themselves to even try. It might be a job. It might be as simple as making a TikTok. (That’s my weird fear.) Or maybe you are absolutely SURE that something is meant for you, like you are mid-screenplay – but you watch yourself repeatedly be inactive on this front. Or you don’t even know where to start – and so you don’t.
Maybe it’s not even that explicit – maybe it’s just a general sense of procrastination. Or something weirder – like a general sense of resent or distaste for those who are successful at something in particular. That is because you are a magnet for this thing: you are reacting to it because it exists inside you! So use that feedback and take a listen.
This is life school, remember? We are here to grow. Let’s give this little seed some water. Small changes evoke massive, life-changing ones!
Here are the two links I mention:
Dr. Stutz’s website with more of his tools plus more about the Netflix doc “Stutz” that I mention:
https://www.thetoolsbook.com/
And the book, “The Artist’s Way” that I love:
https://amzn.to/3OvUrHr
For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to https://www.YayWithMe.com and to check out my very first TikTok’s (gulp) you can find me at https://www.tiktok.com/@yaywithme
Xo!
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14 Mar 2023 | Ep 193: Getting in the Energy Path of Change | 00:53:46 | |
This is an episode that creates a very gentle initiation of a change in your life. A change of lifestyle, a change of perspective, a change of overall bar, and ultimately a change of epic and wonderful proportions. It’s all about getting on the level with yourself and then getting all the ducks in a row. I look at this as the first stage of building momentum toward something big and great like a paradigm shift.
This is about getting literal about something you want to change: really visualizing it while also letting go of the energy of struggle. Struggles that result from fear or the struggles that result from impatience and muscling toward a goal.
This is aimed at allowing you to set (a seemingly) lofty goal and then “getting right with yourself.” By that I mean really looking at where you are and what needs to be done.
When you can state an intention from a place of truth and full transparency, everything aligns. The key in this is really meaning and letting go of how it will happen or if it will happen. Just saying “I choose this.” It starts with that. What will you choose?
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Here’s the quit smoking book "Alan Carr’s Easy Way" – if you’re addicted to something, read it or any of the other Alan Carr editions. If you already read it and didn't quit, read it again! I had to read it a few times.
https://amzn.to/3TvFsjv
And here are the episodes I mentioned on boundary setting:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000535368733
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000532339844
And here’s a great book all about staying curious and pursuing your own excellence – I can’t stop recommending it!! It’s “The Artist’s Way.”
https://amzn.to/3FkuaIM
For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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23 Nov 2021 | Ep 159: Paths Back to Worthiness | 00:46:42 | |
To listen to when you start to get into that energy of unaccomplished/ugly/stupid/fat/alone/I don’t like myself for fill-in-the-blank reason. This is an episode aimed at returning you to a feeling of confidence and embodiment, in the immediate onset of the “I suck” energy. I think one thing that comes up – all the time, but often during holidays when we are returning to old friends, siblings, family – is that sense of comparison. And a heightened sense of self-awareness. And it can be triggering – we can often be leveled back to an old self – one less balanced, less confident, or less convicted in who they are. So this is an episode to hopefully help you get back to “YOU” in the all caps written-in-lights, sense.
You can understand your felt experience as in large part authored by the set of thoughts you repeat to yourself. So the goal is to get back to a place where we’re repeating the right kinds of thoughts to ourselves! The ones that make us feel our own sense of limitlessness. You are awesome and you know how to take care of yourself. The most important thing is to START taking some constructive actions. Start building the house of confidence back up – layer by layer!
I send you much love and if you want to support any of our sponsors this week check out:
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For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and for additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
Xo!
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21 Nov 2023 | Ep 211: Creative Work Refresh – Tapping into your creative voice + letting it flow | 00:48:08 | |
This is for anyone who is looking to be inspired and get closer to their unconscious goals as an artist and creator. I am trying to move closer to my artist self which has been a beautiful process of reuniting with the child that lives inside. One aspect of that process involves really letting go of what other people think is right and asking instead, “what do I have to say?” Removing the measures that pressure your ego to strive in ways that feel in opposition to who you are. I have some practices in this episode for you that are hopefully going to tune your being toward the best form of your creative projects that are ready to be expressed. I highly recommend you practice a meditation of some sort before you begin any creative work- for me it's incredibly helpful!
This episode is aligned with the teachings of The Artist’s Way, Rick Rubin’s new book The Creative Act and Inner Work. Putting links to them because I love them so!
https://amzn.to/3GcpFAg
https://amzn.to/47Ly5tS
https://amzn.to/3GcsEbE
Support this week’s sponsor, BetterHelp:
Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/HELPMEBEME today to get 10% off your first month.
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28 Feb 2024 | Ep 218: Humanely Navigating Long-term Relationships | 00:50:42 | |
There are many phases to a long-term partnership – many moons. When it comes to long-term partnerships, we are traveling through a human existence which includes dealing with that pain of our own identity. That pain then interacts and affects our partner, which can define the kinds of conflicts we perceive are happening.
This is about how to humanely deal with the pain of miscommunication and unmet needs in long-term, intimate relationships. Many relationship issues don’t have “correct” solutions. They result from being different people with different needs and different styles of communication. The goal then becomes to act humanely as we deal with that fact – including toward ourselves. This episode is about having that goal of doing no harm and also being able to step back from our own programming. Whereas when we are choosing a partner we must be incredibly stringent in our standards, once we have chosen one, we can become accountable enough to challenge ourselves. We can practice acceptance of who the other person is and also look at how we choose to change.
This is for about working with our own ego wounds as they occur, and also stepping back from old chain reactions. It’s a reminder that marriage can be hard and often the best we can do is come from love and respect, for ourselves and others.
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01 Feb 2023 | Ep 190: Self-Regulation - Tools for calming anxiety and fear forecasting | 00:39:45 | |
Becoming the expert on you. There’s an optimal range of functioning that we want to stay within in order to enjoy our lives and bring all of our selves “into the room.” When we get tipped in the direction of feeling too hurried or too sluggish, that is something that we can learn to recognize and then regulate– just like that dial that turns the heat up or down in your home.
Why? Because the truth is – everything can be simple and your body can remain calm. No matter the situation, it will happen one minute at a time. We are only in the moment we are living right now and to approach that from a place of serenity will allow us to honor our truth at any given time.
I hope you enjoy this and for more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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26 Oct 2021 | Ep 157: Lauri Burns of The Teen Project: Growing Your Intuition + Sense of Spirituality | 01:00:09 | |
This is an interview I do with longtime friend Lauri Burns, founder of The Teen Project. It’s all about that little voice that guides us from within and how we can strengthen our awareness of it so we can be guided when we need it the most. Warning: this episode has some sad topics in it, including abuse of children. If you need to skip that part you can stop listening right when I ask Lauri to tell a story from her new book.
For anyone who wants to donate to The Teen Project:
Visit TheTeenProject.com
For the book about Lauri’s life story (cover featuring yours truly) check out: https://amzn.to/3mchiv4
For the book from the girls of Vera’s Sanctuary:
https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/sanctuary-of-the-heart
For her new book check The Teen Project website in December!
What is that little voice that nudges me at the most random times? How does it sound? How can I tap into it more and allow it to guide me? This is for anyone who wants to grow their sense of spirituality, or even just understand that little voice that I am calling “intuition” a bit more. It’s that weird little voice that nudges you to go back and investigate something random and then you find your long lost wedding ring. Or that thought you get of someone you love who is deceased, but then you find an oddly perfect letter from them – that pertains to this moment.
To be clear - I am not preaching any God in this episode, I am describing something that could be totally scientifically explained. It’s really about opening up to recognizing that we have these other senses that are very attuned to things that our mind cannot understand.
I personally grew up with a bad experience of religion – and nowadays religion is less popular than ever, despite this, I think we life suffers without an awareness of this “muscle” – this sense, in ourselves. And when we get triggered or creeped out by spirituality or the non-explainable, we are deliberately shutting off a part of ourselves that can sense into much “greater” than the known/explained universe. Those nudges of intuition are subtle and often bizarre. The voice cannot be rationalized or explained because it’s smarter than our brain – so that’s where I want to start: don’t try and rationalize your way through this episode. If you trust me at all, be open to entertaining the topics discussed.
Also for anyone I trigger with this episode. That is totally fine and I get it. Put this on a shelf and listen to it on a day you feel more playful and curious. Personally, when I was in the thick of my pain and recovery of various types – I wasn’t able to believe in anything lofty. I was screening out anyone who might think anything too lofty. So I relate to you. I will say a lot of that comes from just being in a place where you are struggling to get grounded and even know how you feel – in your body. So that is where your priorities should lie. Sending love your way.
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25 May 2022 | Ep 172: Reflecting on Your Relationship: When Things Require Some Work | 00:40:05 | |
This is an episode for anyone who is at the cusp of counseling or is negotiating a power struggle in their relationship. I think for a lot of people it can be hard to know if you are happy or if you want to stay, or if you are actually ready to leave a relationship. It’s one of those things that requires a lot of talk and reflection, and it gets even more complicated because of how interwoven it is with everything in your life as an individual.
Relationships are hard, and if you want them to work long-term they take a lot of maintenance, work and also introspection. A lot of the time keeping them healthy means voicing your issues and being strong enough to walk away if it requires that.
This is an episode that is mostly tools. I wrote it for anyone who is in a difficult relationship situation. Maybe you are thinking of getting counseling or you are currently in a power struggle. And it’s tailored to codependents and those of us who get stuck in the swallowing our needs, feeling if we just try hard enough EVENTUALLY we will get the love and respect we crave.
If you are in a dangerous relationship and need help to exit in a way that is safe for you head to this resource:
https://www.thehotline.org/
Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233).
For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and to become a Patreon head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
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27 Sep 2024 | Ep 233: Your Feelings Hurt My Feelings – Breaking Thought Cycles | 00:55:43 | |
This is for breaking out of cycles caused by vulnerability and anxiety – whether that’s your own mind or a common interaction with a loved one. What I am talking about are moments when you take another person’s feelings, personally. When we get triggered by their emotional response, we get defensive which creates distance and or hurt. That sequence is what I am creating an intervention around with this episode. This is also about reseating yourself in what I would call neutrality and openness: restoring faith in what is possible for you especially in the face of negative thoughts about yourself and your life. It’s really about redirection after you have what I would call an old record that gets put on the record player that is your mind. What we tend to do is that old dance of pain that takes us to this next emotion, and this next belief, and this next one. Like being in a haunted waltz with a zombie who won’t let go.
So if you have a predictable set of hopeless conversations with a spouse – OR you have a predictable rut of a thought process, yourself – this is for you. This is about wading through the mud of your engrained physical response, because with attention– there is change on the other side. Sending love!
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04 Jan 2022 | Ep 162: Chasing Beauty – A painful fixation on our looks | 01:01:49 | |
This is an episode for anyone who feels like they are obsessed with being prettier, younger, something-er, in some external way, and you feel that it is reducing your wellbeing in life. This came up when I was interviewed by Melissa Rivers. She asked something like, “What if you’re never happy with the way you look? How do you stop feeling that way?” What she was struggling with was the emptiness and that feeling of never enough that comes with a constant pursuit of beauty. The products, the treatments, the correcting of some flaw we see in our physical selves. What happens if you are an image-focused person, or you happen to live in a society that is super image-focused, is you get warped. You stop being able to see yourself and instead you only see what is wrong with yourself. So if you could use a new lens, this is an episode for you! And heads up – it’s a messy episode! Sorry hahaha. My whole family has COVID right now.
Happy new year lovely friends… xo Sarah May B.
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09 Nov 2021 | Ep 158: Hearing the Change You Want | 00:27:47 | |
This is a super short episode because it’s aimed at a very specific reflection exercise. It came about because one thing that I have noticed in my One-One-one sessions, is that people repeatedly say the change they want, very clearly, though they often don't hear themselves saying it. The change you want and need to make – in order to be happier– is simple and finite, if we can just hear ourselves. However, often we don’t because we are saying it unconsciously. So this is an episode all about how to make that thing conscious. It's all about discovering what you are yearning for, what you want to change, what condition is making you unhappy, and how to alter that simply. It’s a shorter episode because it’s really simple as an idea – and it really revolves around some specific journal prompts.
For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo
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24 May 2023 | Ep 198: Fear of Conflict: Getting comfortable voicing your needs in your relationship | 00:44:54 | |
This is about growing comfortable asking for what you want, and also comfortable when someone else does not give that to you. Really stepping back in that moment and accepting that at face value. Not taking another person personally and also not getting pulled into inner narratives around their response can result in a total night and day outcome in how you experience your life. This is also about setting healthy boundaries in relationships specifically in how you demand good treatment for yourself. I would say this episode may resonate more with those who consider themselves recovering codependents, like myself.
Standing up for yourself and your needs is an important habit to keep, so you can keep yourself and your relationship safe. I don’t mean that everything has to be a fight– this is not about focusing on the bad things over the good things. This is really about taking the stigma out of bringing up how you’d like to be loved and cared for so you can continue to be healthy in your relationship.
Many issues that come up in our intimate relationships are co-created by the fears and unmet needs of our past. This episode will also give you some awareness around taking in the other person’s response, so you don’t take it personally if/when they respond badly to voicing personal issues. Because often half of what another person perceives is their projection of their own past unmet needs.
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27 Oct 2021 | A reflection on play and feeling fully alive | 00:16:13 | |
This is a sensory kind of reflection on feeling more tied to your sense of wonder and aliveness. An invitation to anyone who gets into a default of doing and checking off boxes, versus feeling a sense of awe and rest.
This is a spur of the moment record done post-rain, an offering I wanted to throw out there for anyone who is looking to bring more play into their lives. It’s my current “frame” by which I am reexamining the habits I have in my life.
I hope you enjoy! Xox
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05 Jul 2023 | EP 201: Working With the Energy of Scarcity - Choosing fulfillment | 00:36:32 | |
Do you feel you’re out of time, that there are not enough resources, or that you have to overdeliver because you are not keeping up? This is for anyone who is pervasively focusing on what they need and lack over what they have and what is bountiful.
This is an episode about ways to be more conscious, SLOW DOWN, and really deliberately move your body and mind and energy into a state of trust. Trust in self. Trust in time. Trust in the universe and in your safety. Maybe everything is just fine and perfect, as it is now.
A lack/scarcity mentality is something we may have developed at a young age that we can’t stop flexing as adults. Like a hamster gathering seeds from our food bowl and hoarding in a corner. This is a bad habit and a perspective that is self-inflicted, so the good news is we can teach ourselves out of it.
This episode is dedicated to Little Richard, graffiti artist known by the name of XPRES. My first crush. Always true to himself. He recently passed away, very unexpectedly. This was already and episode I was writing but his death definitely brought this into sharper focus.
Sending love to all of you. If you want to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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04 Jan 2024 | Ep 214: A New Year Fresh Start – Personal Inventory Reflection | 00:34:32 | |
This is my yearly new year reflection style episode where we take stock and celebrate what we have accomplished in the year prior as well as start this year off on the right foot. In this episode I will ask you to ponder - What would you like to change? What would you like to let go of? And what would you like to invite forth as you move through the year?
As you listen to this episode please take note of where you are energetically and respect that season. I am in a winter state, coming out of sickness. All stages are good and valuable in how they set a stage in our cycle: all supports our greatest form of thriving.
My wish for you this year is that you are more able to enjoy your life and live it authentically. We are so primed to be searching for something: “I need X. I should post about X. What are other people doing? Should I be doing that, too?” We are almost automated by our devices and technology to do so. This ordinary stuff of life is pretty great and wonderful, just as it is. If you can tune into the simple moments with your energy: stop that busy searching loop and step outside of it. Maybe quiet life is relaxing and lovely and we should enjoy all that we have, right now.
Sending love to you all and happy new year!
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21 Nov 2024 | Ep 237: When Relationships Grow Distant and Rigid | 00:51:05 | |
This is for relationships that can be best described as dry kindling: dealing, politely, but no warmth or closeness. Maybe you feel your partner is critical, that you are invisible, and when fights occur, they go to DEFCON level 1 instantly, and nothing gets resolved, the loop only resets. So in the day to day, there’s little connection between you. If this sounds familiar, I want you to imagine you and your partner are in a glass display. Like a window at a store. Close to 90% of all communication is non-verbal, so if you are noticing there is no love and affection being expressed on a non-verbal level, this is one place to start. More on this in the episode plus tools for stepping back from the hurt. A little change can go a long way in allowing the love that still lives to come forth.
Big caveat: this episode is for those in “safe” relationships, not abusive ones. If you are in an abusive relationship here is one resource to get help: National Domestic Violence Hotline.
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13 Sep 2024 | Ep 232: Guilt – Growing Through It | 00:58:44 | |
Guilt is like a gut punch that doesn’t stop. The loss of meaning is like a thick layer of glass in front of your eyes. It’s like a constant reminder that you are not who you aspire to be. Something is not aligned in who you are. There’s also the kind of guilt you feel when you know rationally that you should not feel guilty – like you are betraying a part of yourself that is real and cannot sever an old allegiance.
In this episode, I am going to try and open up some air around the source of your guilt. I cover different kinds of guilt – the kind that results from shame over something you did and also the kind that “doesn’t belong to you” (as with severing unhealthy family relationships). My goal with this episode is for you to be able to see it as an external object–or a symptom, and not identify with it, in the hopes that you can move through it despite the intensity of the pain. My goal for you is to create change in your life and to find meaning. The path back to light and joy or at the very least progress– is with change: growth, context, understanding. If you are in the loop of guilt, step back. There is something yet to untangle. Move toward growth and evolution.
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22 Jun 2021 | Ep 148: Stuck in a Codependent and Bad Relationship – Tools for strength-building | 00:43:47 | |
This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship.
When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! There are 3 parts to this episode – the what, why and how – the tools!
And if you are interested in checking out our sponsor for this episode and getting $200 off all mattresses plus 2 eco-rest pillows, head to BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe
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17 Aug 2023 | Ep 204: Over-Giving in Relationships: A Codependency Workshop | 00:39:58 | |
If you are a caregiver type or your relationship is somewhat uneven, this is an episode aimed at looking inward. It’s for seeing your role in how the imbalance is created. TBC, this is about becoming aware. Not making big moves or changes. Just simple curiosity and awareness. This is an episode that is going to challenge you!
There’s this totally unconscious thing that happens as you are revealed next to someone. We start to feel vulnerable and with that, we seek control. This is when we start to do more and give more as a means of feeling more secure. It’s to abate feelings of “less-than.”
If you are someone who gets too wrapped up in the thoughts or feelings of others then I think this episode will resonate with you. This also extends to feeling like you need others to act a certain way, or feeling like you are doing it all and the other person in your relationship is not doing enough. In other words, getting stuck in a caregiver role or a role where you are the one who is overactive, and they are the one who is under-active.
What it really comes down to is not being able to accept the truth of someone as they are. In that denial there is some overcompensation that occurs which leads to feeling really angry at them for not being the way you want them to be.
So that’s where this episode is focused! For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com
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01 Aug 2023 | Ep 203: A Personal Check-in: Where do I stand + where am I going? | 00:36:31 | |
This podcast is a reminder to come back to the best of you–the best thoughts, the best energy, the best focus. It’s somewhat a reflection episode: a time to get right with yourself and get tuned. There is nothing wrong or lessor about the life you have chosen – it is important to know and embrace that self. To see your decisions as founded on the past you have lived.
Make your life, your mission and your focus about what is meaningful to you. Do not make it a reaction to others. Know where you stand and where you’re going. Welcome that feedback around what isn’t working, and what is. This will set us free from false missions.
This episode is also to tune your energy if you have gotten into a groove of feeling less-than/exhausted/a victim. Or simply less than grateful. The tools in this episode will also remind you of how to jump what I would call energetic channels. It’s super easy to fall into a groove of feeling a particular way, day after day. To forget glee and optimism. It becomes an addiction of sorts–stress, depression and anger feed themselves. But we can remember how to feel another way and resume that feeling of excitement and gratitude. Ready to welcome something new and great.
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Go to HelloFresh.com/helpmebeme50 and use code helpmebeme50 for 50% off plus free shipping!
To check out a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza, you can click here.
And to check out the art and work of my friend who passed away check here.
Sending my love to all of you out there! Looking for more? Visit me at YayWithMe.com
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16 Aug 2022 | Ep 178: Inner Shine: Curating joyful energy + a sense of aliveness | 00:53:03 | |
This is for anyone who with a tendency toward a lack perspective – maybe you default to a survival mode of unconscious “doing” and because of that your life is somewhat based in “not enough” / a sense of being less-than. This is a recipe to help you transition out of that. The motivation for this episode is I have always had a fear/lack perspective and a desire for safety, which was underlying many of my decisions in adult life. I think this is also something interwoven into confidence/self-love issues. So take note if that seems true for you. It may show up as being risk-adverse. Or subtly resisting powerful roles in your life. Or perhaps in the way you date: choosing people who have serious issues.
This is all about getting into that state of inner “shine.” Feeling fully alive and present and living your life from this energy, as an intentional practice. Not just “checking the boxes, doing the things and keeping up” but shining from the inside out.
What does shine energy feel like? Bounty. Joy. Love and energy – like “I can run the whole way down the trail.” Like “I am a kid again and there is no such thing as gravity or fatigue.” But not just in a physical sense. In a view of the world, sense.
Here’s the book I am reading (and liking) that I mentioned called The Enlightenment Project:
https://amzn.to/3bsAP81
Here’s Martha Beck’s podcast “The Gathering Pod” that I mentioned:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gathering-pod/id1544173982
To make a donation or see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo
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20 Dec 2023 | Ep 213: Gratitude + Grounding - Practices for moving through the holidays | 00:37:40 | |
This episode is my invitation to reset as you move through holiday functions. What does that mean? Not getting sucked into family drama and also keeping your eyes on what’s important: feeling a sense of gratitude and being able to savor all that you have.
Holidays can be heavy for a lot of people. I want to invite you to tune into joy and optimism. As you move through the end of the year, this is an episode with tools for grounding and setting boundaries. It’s also for journaling and recalling what is most important and what is actually a total waste of time.
I’d call this episode a meditation or reflection of sorts in that it’s about resetting how we think about life and what we prioritize. And also just feeling grateful. Never a bad time to do that! Sending so much love! And to check out the book by Rick Rubin, here is a link!
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26 Apr 2022 | Ep 170: Inner Listening – Curating Private Psychic Space | 00:38:02 | |
This is an episode aimed at helping you tune in to what you think and feel and becoming aware of the external pressures that may be hindering your creativity. There are a lot of journal prompts for reflecting on what it is you want – truly, and also ways to resist the performative masks you might be wearing in your life. This is also a selfish episode aimed at making all of you out there a bit more silly, fun and in your skin. Because I think we need it. I think we need less looking perfect, less oversimplification, less judgement. More complexity, weirdness and openness. A lot of people in the world are lonely and feel isolated. I think that a lot of this comes from a feeling of being dehumanized by professional spheres, working remotely as well as living and communicating on the internet. I send you my love and if you want to check out more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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09 Nov 2023 | Ep 210: Letting Go of a Small Self - Tools for openness as we enter the holidays | 00:48:50 | |
This is an episode inviting you to shed one part of an old, wounded self. A chip on your shoulder that exists currently. To start to see yourself as not small, not trivial, but strong and confident. When we get into a more open, loving groove in our lives, we can grow our power. This is an episode for reorienting your energy toward that which expands: Conditioning yourself toward a target, especially as we move toward the end of the year. Together, let’s ask: how do I want to feel and what do I want to bring forth.
I think of our actions and intentions as echoes that ripple outwards into our future and also into the world. So let’s begin to filter that as we move through the end of this year: what will I create in my life? What is no longer serving me?
This episode has lots of tools for stepping back from feelings of less-than and also bringing out the love you already have inside.
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And to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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18 Jan 2024 | Ep 215: Professional Mojo – Renewing Energy and Motivation When in a Rut | 00:48:21 | |
This is for anyone who is feeling professionally or creatively stuck, like you have no prospects and like you don’t have anything going for you. It’s also for if you don’t feel mentally or emotionally shiny which adds to a sense of inaction. This episode is mostly tools for kicking off a change in that mental state. Maybe you’ve been laid off and you are feeling the lack of traction/prospects as a reflection of your talents/merits. If that’s true for you, know that a lot of people are looking for work right now and there are lots of weird effects from the pandemic and also the strikes.
This is really about creating an energy shift – a way to change your relationship to life and all that’s in it. This is how we can see the same room anew. Doors and windows open all the time based on our energy. So how do we get the ball rolling on all that energy shifting? Especially when we are in a rut. Sending energy and love!!
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And if you need a banana bread recipe – here is my go-to:
3 very ripe bananas
1 melted stick of butter
A bit more than 3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
Large pinch of salt
½ tsp vanilla extract
Mix all together and then bake at 350 degrees F for just under 1 hour. And smile.
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13 Oct 2021 | Ep 156: Emotional Scripts - When Family Emotional Patterns Repeat | 00:39:50 | |
This is really about when we start to enact the emotions, fears, losses, and wounds of someone in a previous generation – be that a parent, a parent's parents, or maybe a combination of these plus a self from many years ago who went through something really painful and damaging. Regardless, it can make you act out some pretty big feelings that are not truly aligned with the way you live your life in the present. This is how the course of our relationships can be changed for the worse - unless we become aware of these unconscious scripts.
SO MUCH of what we feel and enact is not ours. And it can wreak havoc on your closest adult relationships. So if something emotional is coming up for you that feels heightened or it happens to be looping, this may be an episode for you!
The book I mention in this episode is here:
https://amzn.to/3lyYCVZ
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Xox
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06 Nov 2024 | Ep 236: Boundaries with Family – staying above it all | 00:49:19 | |
This is for anyone who has done self-work and is reentering a family situation where you know you have triggers. It’s so you can stay above the loops that tend to get us feeling angry, hurt or defensive – feeling like a child once again. If you’ve been healthier outside of a particular family dynamic, it can feel like you are getting pulled back into a stew of old feelings– even when everyone in the group has the best intentions and is doing their best to be loving. Projection is a massive piece of what triggers really upsetting family dynamics. We try and validate what’s inside by engaging those outside of us to affirm it.
The end of the year is also when a lot of “stuff” comes up: it’s a milestone because of the seasonal change, the holidays, revisiting old places and relationships. It can mean there’s a bit of taking stock: looking backward, looking forward. But also – a flooding of old feelings. This episode has tools for staying loving and neutral –doing no harm to yourself and others. My hope is that when you listen to this you will be able to come from love and also not take another person’s pain personally. When you know this ahead of time you can stay outside a trigger loop and come from love.
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25 Oct 2024 | Ep 235: I’m a Failure – a mindset reset | 00:54:26 | |
“I’m ugly” “I should be better by now” “I’m a terrible mother” “My relevance is over” “I’m old”… Everybody has these thoughts. They are average. What matters is whether or not you engage with the thoughts and follow their tangent. You can quite literally start thinking ANYTHING repeatedly and you will start to see it as true. There is no such thing as true or not true, only what you experience through your own lens. The way the brain works is via comparison. It’s a threat-calculator – a unique and special one trained on our experiences. But it is not “us” in the bigger sense. “We” are the silent watcher, the presence within that witnesses these thoughts. The moment they occur there’s a choice to be made – you can follow the feeling and invest in the script, like you’re an actor in a play, or you can look at them – step back, and resume a state of non-attachment.
This is an episode all about escaping from thought prison. Have you seen around thoughts yet? This is the goal in this episode. Find this podcast on YouTube here.
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23 Apr 2024 | Ep 222: Befriending Yourself + Grounding Confidence | 00:42:35 | |
This episode marks 10 years of Help Me Be Me! This is about knowing thyself and feeling grounded and resourced in that self. Being guided by and making decisions from your values, not your weaknesses.
It’s all about “coming home to yourself” as a means to feel grounded: what that means to me, plus tools for that in the face of social pressures and relationships. In moments when you feel hurt, unpopular, clingy or less-than, come back home to a wisdom of self: what do YOU hold to be sacred, cool and interesting? What do you hold to be important in terms of values? Resuming this core relieves us in moments we feel a need to please others or we are changing ourselves out of fear.
I feel the greatest gift you can give yourself is a friendship and bond with yourself. If you’re not there yet, take heart. Sometimes we need some processing of past conflicts for all of us to arrive at action. If something isn’t happening for you, there might be a part of you that has yet to fully arrive.
It’s apt that this episode marks 10 years of podcasting for me. 222 is a sacred number and I invite you to check out Taz Grout’s 222 Foundation, linked below. Thank you all for growing alongside me in this journey! For those who have been listening for that long, what I hope you take away from these episodes is an expansion of self-knowledge and self-compassion.
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And in honor of 222, if you want to make a donation to Pam Grout’s amazing daughter’s foundation to further the consciousness of the world, you can head here:
Taz Grout’s 222 Foundation
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25 Oct 2023 | Ep 209: A Thriving Design – Building the Life Conditions for Happiness | 00:46:06 | |
This is about building a mental sense of sanctuary from the outside in and the inside out. This is aimed at moving through your life in a state of trust and openness: teaching yourself out of self-limiting thought loops and responses. One thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the importance of our conditions. They very much co-create our lives in that they create the factors we have bandwidth to respond to. What conditions are you being subjected to in your day-to-day life? How can we become conscious of them and begin to set higher goals in this area? All change in life begins with a goal. Once you set it we are already moving toward it.
A life that is conducive to happiness and serenity and success really comes down to curating the ingredients that allow for that to happen. Often what stops that from being possible is small thinking (stopping ourselves from striving) or one negative factor like a bad relationship or an unhealthy work environment. So how can we create a life of happiness, harmony, inspiration and luxury? If you feel like you could use a cleanse or a boost in this area this one’s for you.
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28 Feb 2023 | Ep 192: Changing Your Life: Remembering a sense of possibility | 00:40:29 | |
Never forget that change is possible and at any point in time. This is an episode for anyone who is feeling a bit stagnant or perhaps uninspired, so-so, bored, or stuck. I think sometimes when we get depressed we don’t even notice. Because in your conscious mind, you can easily distract and get into your phone, the limitless options on streaming, or busy yourself with work. If you’re unsure, you can look to your behavior as a way to discern whether or not you are happy and thriving. Are you not interested in doing much? Are you neutral on many things? Do you feel like a blank piece of paper? If you are happy and thriving, you will feel your aliveness: you feel energized and ready to go when you wake up. It’s like a feeling of excitement for life. If you’d like to get more of that, this is an episode for you.
With this episode, I really wanted to paint the picture of how change can happen. It can happen today. It doesn’t need to be hard, but when we get into grooves of feeling hopeless we think that it’s too hard. We start to focus on the wrong things – suddenly we are looking down at our feet saying, “I don’t like where they’re standing.” This kind of thinking is just wasted energy. Look at where you want to go.
Let’s tune the engine!
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For more of my work and to make a donation you can go to YayWithMe.com xo!
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08 Nov 2022 | Ep 184: Creating sanity in the face of gaslighting or a person with bad boundaries | 00:49:41 | |
This is for anyone who has a relationship with someone or has to have interaction with someone who does not respect their right to basic human kindness, respect, personal space, or maintain healthy boundaries. This might show up as a person who insults you. Who picks at you, mocks you, targets you by belittling you. Maybe they make you are crazy for the way you do something. For the words you choose. For some habit you keep. For the way you exist or some random thing. Whatever it is, it’s confusing and hurtful. It also might make you start to question whether or not you are crazy. That my friends is the definition of gaslighting. And it may happen to you in a casual circumstance in your life. It can happen in any intimate relationship and it can happen in any environment, and don’t worry– you’re not crazy.
The other name for this is ‘The war on words’ – that’s my term for someone starting to spin you in a web of conflict. So as soon as you try and pin them down, they jump to the next topic or the next one. And you can’t seem to solve the conflict – it only seems to get bigger.
If this rings any bells, I want to acknowledge that confronting a person who is angry and violent can be extremely dangerous – so if that is true for you please speak with someone at this resource and form a plan:
https://www.thehotline.org/
For the rest of the links I mention in this episode, here’s the one about escaping a relationship with a narcissist:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship/id895918183?i=1000341326142
Here’s one link to Gabor Maté’s site about the connection between anger suppression and disease (he has a lot of great books, though a lot of them are downers haha):
https://drgabormate.com/healing-force-within/
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28 Mar 2023 | Ep 194: Turning Inward - A Path to Confidence, Creativity and Excellence | 00:45:13 | |
The energy inside creates what you see outside. What are you putting out to the world with your energy? That’s coming right back into you, creating your life experience. Something I’ve been doing lately to really self-examine and rise about my own smallness, is what I’ll call turning inward. When I hate on something or criticize a person in my mind, I do a turnaround: I look at that reaction and examine it like it is targeted at myself, so I can feel what I am creating. If you find yourself being critical, it’s usually coming from fear and judgement in you that is hurtful all-around. The reason to do this process of turning things inward is everyone wins! You win: your life and happiness benefit but also the world wins. Not to mention, it creates a totally different world via your perception.
This is an episode for anyone who wants to grow in the direction of more whole, less needy and less insecure. Growth is a great project to have, and one that is lifelong. It’s something we can do incrementally – with super tiny but deliberate thought-hacks. Regardless, make sure you’re always giving yourself mental space to focus for yourself for growth. In your capacity, in your compassion, in your maturity.
Sending love to all of you and if you’d like to support our sponsor this week while becoming a better person, check out Headspace!
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The Byron Katie book I mentioned in this episode can be found here:
https://amzn.to/3FXc53G
And to find more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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12 Apr 2024 | Ep 221: Redefining Yourself - Shedding Older Selves | 00:46:38 | |
We all grow, mature and become different people, however sometimes we cannot see that change or those around us cannot see it. This is about redefining yourself to yourself. Allowing room to witness yourself, anew. Especially in the face of people who treat us based off an old identity. This episode has exercises to help you see where you are headed and mark the change you’ve made over the past year. It’s also for examining your actions as a means to map out your internal allegiances. Often we cannot see how we truly feel because we get lost in the day-to-day content of powerful or repetitive emotions. The goal for me coming out of this episode is for you to feel as if you were given a new awareness of yourself. One that is positive, clear, and empowered. And that you can see the conscious change you have made in your life.
If you want to know who you are, just look at your physical actions. They are a map to our truth: what we believe, what we are working on, and also how we feel about ourselves. They tell us who we are more than our words, so if you want to learn something new, tune into what has changed. And take heart–change is change! No matter how incremental.
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13 Dec 2024 | Introducing: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms | 00:08:42 | |
This is a GREAT podcast for moms that I have learned a lot from. It’s called “3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms” – it’s hosted by Rachel Nielson, a mom who seeks out the advice professionals for actionable advice around child-rearing. Rachel is a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting. I’m a mom so I am always looking for podcasts that help with child-rearing.
In this excerpt from episode 401 of 3 in 30, Rachel interviews board certified integrative family physician, activist, and TEDx speaker Dr. Setti[1] about accessing radical gratitude, especially in times of difficulty. In this takeaway you will hear one suggestion for how we can use gratitude to turn us toward our life instead of away. If you want to listen to the entire thing, here’s the full length episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/401-how-radical-gratitude-can-change-your-life-dr-tanmeet/id1296627876?i=1000676478660
And to follow Rachel’s show you can check out 3in30podcast.com
IG: @3in30podcast
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08 May 2024 | Ep 223: Relationship Checkup - Is it working or not | 00:52:57 | |
This episode is about taking stock of a relationship and deciding how you feel about it in an honest way. Maybe you’re considering a breakup, or you don’t know that just yet but you’re not happy with how things are. One way to tell how we feel about someone is to examine our own behavior: the things we are doing on a loop. When we can see a fight loop, we can see perhaps we are not accepting the truth of who someone is, or we can see our own unmet needs arising. This is how we move forward and grow up in a sense – by becoming aware.
This for knowing where you stand instead of fighting what is. When we can move from what is, we can honor ourselves AND our relationship! And in some cases that means coming out of the closet on what we truly want. Nothing bad about that – it just is. Accept and welcome it. When we draw boundaries around that concept, we create a life that rewards us.
Caveat: You can’t decide something based on another person’s advice. If you’re not ready for action, simply processing feelings is a great place to start.
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30 Aug 2024 | Ep 231: Putting Down Coping Mechanisms That No Longer Serve You | 01:02:52 | |
This is about growing your soul by doing the real work that will advance you. Seeing the muscle that needs work. I’m inviting you to choose to work on a coping mechanism that hurts you. To see around it – separate it from your person, and take apart its inner workings.
I think a lot of people keep themselves small or keep themselves occupied in things like relationships as a means to stave of feelings of pain. The pain results from an original wound that feels so vague and powerful that we stop to look at it. If you have a loop in your life, you might think it’s just “you.” You may have accepted it. But that is because you’re still in it and blinded by it. In order to change, we have to step back and start to work on it in very specific ways. This episode has tools for fostering that. So that we can follow our purest dreams, not the loop of what’s in front of us.
To donate to the amazing charity I mentioned and save some lives of foster kids, visit TheTeenProject.com xo!
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18 Jul 2024 | Ep 228: Quieting the Inner Committee - Thought Filtration | 00:56:35 | |
The inner committee is what I am focusing on in this episode. By that I mean the cast of characters in your mind that voice fears, judgements, criticisms, rules for what you can and will do, and generally limit your beliefs about your life. I sometimes refer to our mind as a stage on which actors perform scenes. “You” – the holistic, reflective self, are not your thoughts but rather a wiser presence. I sometimes refer to this as “the silent watcher” or “inner child.” That awareness takes in all this happening in your body and experiences the blips of energy created by your thoughts. One important note I want to call out – “You” might want something different for your life than your thoughts promote to you. And this episode is about being capable of guiding your life despite the chatter of the mind. Taking steps to move forward, despite them.
The inner committee can be incredibly powerful and fear-inducing. We react to them, which can hinder a lot of change, including positive change. This is about revoking their ability to control you and instead being guided by something deeper – an inner knowing. Who is this for? Anyone who feels they are holding themselves back with rumination, ambivalence, or self-limiting beliefs. Don’t give up – never give up, the story is not over yet! To donate to my friend and the foster kids head to TheTeenProject.com xo!
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15 Aug 2024 | Ep 230: Light Up Your Life and the World | 00:46:16 | |
Have you lost a bit of shine and joy? This is a path back to gratitude and hope. This is an energy tuning episode all about restoring limitlessness and optimism on a mindset level but it also relates to being a good person, friend and parent. It’s about being conscious and responsible with your energy and tuning it to support openness and rationality. Never forget: Energy is a chain reaction: what we put out changes others, and also changes what comes our way. Think of yourself like a tuning fork. You resonate with the world around you in whatever way you are filtering your thinking. Let’s be careful and conscious about that – starting right now!
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18 Dec 2024 | Ep 239: Doom Spiral – Sorting between old and new feelings | 00:42:30 | |
This episode is all tools for stepping back from the process of negative rumination and choosing a different path: awareness, neutrality and openness. A lot of what we live through is created in our mind, and thoughts catalyze more similar thoughts. When it comes to negative rumination, a lot of these thought sequences are based in old, strong emotional imprints from long ago that are triggered in the present.
When we get into a negative thought loop, a sequence of feelings is created by an initial thought. For example, “I am sad because I am alone tonight, and this person didn’t call me back.” Which catalyzes, “Where am I in my life?” Which catalyzes, “Now I feel emotionally low” which triggers the brain’s desire to double down on this feeling and wallow in this rapidly increasing feeling of sadness. This catalyzes the next thought and the next one and the next one after that.
I am doing something super simple in this episode: I am writing directions for how to dismantle these kinds of thought sequences. What happens is our brain is fighting for control over feelings of pain, powerlessness, and ego-threat by rationalizing it: giving it a logical set of terms and labels. When we have a blip of anxiety or pain, we say, “This feeling is from this present-day thing in my life.” And we have already jumped on the bandwagon of that sequence of feelings, thinking we are in control of managing it when in reality, we are creating it.
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18 Jan 2023 | Ep 189: Self-Compassion – Untraining unhelpful thought patterns | 00:46:44 | |
This is for anyone who struggles with thoughts that are self-critical and deactivating. Our goal with this episode is beginning to teach ourselves to not attach or engage with the thoughts that aren’t serving us, and more importantly – stopping ourselves in the process of scripting out narratives that create negative future outcomes. This is really about practicing non-reactivity and non-judgment in the face of thoughts or feelings. And to do that we have to recognize when it’s happening to us and rehearse a new process. We can retrain our brain and reset the grooves that have set in. A lot of the pain we experience in life is the pain we tell ourselves to feel - including when it comes to feeling bad about ourselves.
This was a request – I hope it helps and sending much love!
For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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01 Feb 2022 | Ep 164: Bad Relationship – Dating a person who is cheating + lying, feeling powerless | 00:58:50 | |
This is for anyone who is in a bad relationship and they suspect the other person is cheating or lying and you don’t know what to do about it. Maybe you are still chasing that high from when you first met them or you’re holding out for the brief moments of time when you guys connect and you feel totally intoxicated by love.
We often ignore red flags and bad behavior because we see the potential in someone and we think we can love them enough, support them enough and that person can come through. But at the end of the day what matters most is who this person is capable of being. Not who they could be in your eyes.
If you're taking a lot of bad behavior, I would guess that this relationship makes you feel more bad than good and if you could snap your fingers and make it disappear, you’d choose to get out of it.
If any of this sounds familiar, I can relate. I have walked in your shoes. I send you my love and I hope this helps! Xo Sarah May B.
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21 Dec 2021 | Ep 161: Building a Vision | 00:54:14 | |
This episode is targeted at you having a vision of a future life that is beautiful and rewarding. Seeing it clearly. And not being embarrassed about going through that process. If you – like me, are often too embarrassed to take on practices like this, then I want to call that out. How silly is that, right? If that’s one thing that we can all put down at the end of this year – for good. Never be too embarrassed to try something out. To invest in it. To mean it. It’s wasted energy. Feeling silly held me back from so much. But no longer! I think allowing your mind to wander and paint pretty pictures of different futures is so instrumental in seeing the ratio you want to create in your current schedule.
In order to see a life that will make us happier, we have to be able to think outside our sphere, and our routine. Which can be challenging! As we head into the end of the year and toward the new year, I think one really important step is getting clear about what you want. I don’t mean making a vision board – unless that is something you enjoy doing that you find resonates with you – then by all means go for it!
I have a vision of being in the UK for a month, and the way my routine dictates my life, that will not come about unless I really get into the reflection and action stage of that dream.
The reason for this is I remember early on in my self-help beginnings I was kind of tentative about investing in the guidance given, specifically when it required I dream big. Like I was still “on the outside” of the genre and poking fun at it, deciding how much of it I believed and how much I thought was cliché horse doodoo. And now what I would consider well along the path of my self-help dive, I think one thing that is very important if you are growing and building toward something –is being able to see a life you want. I think that can be difficult especially when you are limited by a routine or feeling stuck.
It's also something that feels a little “fluffy” like it’s a waste of time. So this is an episode that makes a case for why this is important and also very powerful. And at the end we are going to go through some actual exercises to start to ideate around the life you want.
Sending you so much love and if you are in search of additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
To make a donation and to see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com
Xo!
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01 Feb 2024 | Ep 216: Beautiful Humanity – Regrowing a sense of vitality and inspiration | 00:58:40 | |
If you have a sense of ambivalence or blah–like you’re staring at a white wall, but on an emotional or spiritual level. I wanted to write an episode that reminds us all of our humanity and what that feels like and looks like. This is about regrowing and regenerating our vitality by listening inward and channeling our creative, original voices. Allowing yourself to be “original” and not what everyone else wants you to be. Often we lose sight of who that person is, as we grow into adults and we do all the things we “should” for a very long time.
I think a lot of us either grow numb or we feel a pervasive sense of dread and exhaustion when we move through a routine set of adult functions, day after day. It can start to feel like we just need to be better at swallowing it or medicating it versus tuning in to see what is starving us. I am really talking to my type-A friends out there and also my creative friends out there.
Something I notice is that many of us feel a sense of anxiety over all that we have on our plates and the neverendingness of it. And what we often do to deal with that anxiety is take meds to allow ourselves to do more of it. Like this will fix that pain. But that is not a positive, holistic or long-term solve. What I am inviting you to do with this episode is try rewarding that inner self and seeing how that improves all factors in your life – creative, calmness and also clarity.
This process of reconnecting with that inner self takes time and commitment but it IS important! It’s important in how it corresponds to the vastness and scale that is the quality of your life. If we were to stand at the end of your life, how colorful is it? (Not from a stuff and literal places you’ve travelled perspective – but in a depth of self, kind of way?) Like the way you talk and write about your experiences – the way you report them to others: are you skimming the surface and checking boxes? Or do you feel fully alive and like you are savoring this ride? Let’s fucking savor, man. Let ourselves be based on who we would like to be and not who everyone else seems to be on social media. I for one, forgot who that self was for a long time. And I was in a routine of checking boxes.
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11 Oct 2023 | Ep 208: Confronting Big Life Changes: Separation, divorce or letting go of an addiction | 00:53:12 | |
This is for anyone who is wants to confront what could be a major life change like a separation, a divorce, or perhaps letting go of an addiction. This is to enable you to do some processing in your own head – not for confronting another person. I know these are disparate types of changes, but I think they are similar processes – in that we often feel like we cannot possibly do it. We cannot possibly let go of something that has kept us safe in a routine for so long. That has helped us create a sense of control or normalcy. But if you are intrigued by this episode, I am guessing that some part of you wants to explore an answer and to be at least able to fully do that without holding yourself back/hiding. This is about letting go of FEAR as a process of willful blindness and instead taking the stigma out of thinking through all sides of a future decision. The goal: moving through hard shit with love in your heart – for others, and for yourself, and being able to welcome the truth of how you feel. This is how we ultimately create healthy boundaries and make the future new. When we hide or ignore problems, we create more drag on our life and also often make problems bigger than they have to be.
Regardless, I hope this helps you get more intuned with how you feel about something in your life, whether or not the situation changes or stays exactly as its been. Sending love!
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For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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01 Mar 2022 | Ep 166: Grounding + Growing Through Ritual – An interview with Becca Piastrelli | 01:02:46 | |
Hi friends, this is my interview with Becca Piastrelli, author of a new book entitled, “Root and Ritual - Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self.” One important thread in this episode is unhooking from the systems of urgency, productivity, and denial of your body’s inner clock that happens due to the speed of technology. We also discuss the importance and power of ritual and how you can grow that in your life – something that is especially valuable if you have no current source of belief or spirituality in your life.
I had to “regrow” my sense of spirit in my adult life and in doing so I have found so much relief and grounding. I would recommend this episode for anyone who craves something deeper in life or perhaps you feel lonely, depressed, isolated and a lack of meaning in life, currently. For more of my work and to give feedback, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo
Here’s a link to Becca’s book:
https://amzn.to/3tdUoWI
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11 Apr 2023 | Ep 195: Breathing Through the Discomfort of Imposter Syndrome | 00:45:08 | |
Remember that everyone feels a sense of self-doubt and that can actually be a sign you’re pushing yourself to grow. We can help ourselves to curate an inner reservoir of “I got this” by using thought-hacks and mental work-arounds. This is how we choose to widen or our locus of control: it’s a subtle shift toward feeling we are riding the wave versus being pummeled by it. It’s all about mentally moving ourselves to the top of the wave that is life and fear.
My goal is for you to leave this episode with an increased sense of risk tolerance and have a few work arounds in the moments you suffer from a feeling of lack/imposter syndrome. Never forget – some of the most outwardly successful people in the world are utterly miserable. Happiness and self-love are things we curate from the inside and they emanate outwards. They’re not created from outside conditions. It all starts with a choice – to make the inside be the truest metric of success.
I invite you to ask yourself – “How do I want to feel?” Inspired. Confident. Self-loving. Self-forgiving. I want to be always okay, no matter what anyone else says, and no matter what I have “won” in my life. I am enough as I am.
Sending so much love friends.
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For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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21 Jun 2022 | Ep 174: Relationship Ambivalence: Stuck in fight loops + wanting change | 00:48:19 | |
For anyone who perhaps is negotiating standing up for yourself and also accommodating your relationship to make it peaceful and loving, and unsure of how to balance those two things. You might find that your fight loops are repeating and you are unhappy because of that. You both are likely seeking love and closeness but also wanting change. This is targeted at those in relationships that are well established. For example, when the novelty has worn off and any imbalances have had time to set in. You might be asking - do I want to be with this person or is this relationship hopeless? What do I want? What’s happening in my relationship? Is this at all fixable? We both used to be happy but now I am flipping between love and hate, pretty often. OR you might be asking– why can’t my partner see me? Why can’t they meet my needs when they are so small? What the hell happened… things were great and as soon as I brought up my needs, this turned into something so much worse. Am I crazy?
This is a topic that obviously has a lot of variables – but this will at least give you something to reflect on if this sounds like your situation. And every solution will be different and based on you and your partner – so don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right for you.
There are 3 parts to this episode– the what, why, and how–the tools, and we will hear from our sponsors right before the tools section. For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com ! xo
The book on love languages is this one:
https://amzn.to/3bdC7mW
And here is a love language quiz to take:
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
If you don’t feel safe in your relationship, this is for you:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org/
800-799-7233
Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
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15 Jan 2025 | Ep 241: Easy Does it: Collecting self in times of overwhelm | 00:43:47 | |
‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partner or something else, this is a reminder that we can only take on as much as we can handle and sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and take some of the pressure off of ourselves so we can return to the situation from a more resourced position. When we get into that energy of forcing solutions, that’s a little flag reminding us we need to come home to our breathing and be extra kind and gentle with ourselves. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time we wish to solve it in and some problems are not ours to solve.
This episode started as a reflection for the new year and it has evolved into something more nurturing. I and so many I love have been affected by the wildfires in California, it has been difficult to focus, but I am posting this in the hopes that it soothes someone who needs soothing. Sending love to anyone suffering right now. You are in my prayers. Xo
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And if you’re looking to do some good for a person you don’t know, in need:
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06 Jun 2024 | Ep 225: Stuck in a Relationship You Hate | 00:48:41 | |
This is about escaping a relationship that you cannot seem to leave but you know 1000% that you are extremely unhappy staying in it. When we watch ourselves in a state of inaction, we assume it to be your truth. Ambivalence, rumination and a state of paralysis when it comes to a relationship–that you are clearly unhappy in– are very common. This is what I would call an invisible wall made up of the old rules, fears and traumas of your upbringing. Often the ambivalence is rooted in an inability to accept a truth – that we do not align with our cultural upbringing, our parents values, or we have undealt with pain that rests deep within ourselves. When we process these old feelings and separate them from our current wants and values, we can move through them knowing where our hearts truly lie. So if you find that you are spinning and rethinking what is negative about changing, but you are also fully aware that you are totally unhappy in this current relationship – this is an episode for you.
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29 Aug 2023 | Ep 205: Course Correcting - Taking an inventory of change | 00:38:13 | |
How we relate to our life and what it contains is always being renegotiated and that is positive and healthy. Sometimes our priorities change or our needs change. Or areas of friction are notifying us that we are ready to change. This episode is about course correcting: looking at areas of feedback or friction in your own life – and also those that arise in relationships. It’s for taking an inventory of any negative trends that perhaps aren’t serving you. Course correction is really another term for intentionality.
This is for reorienting your path toward what you want, including things like autonomy and balance. This is related to your relationship with your life, and your relationship with others – so I have some tools around codependency.
This is inspired by several letters I’ve gotten where people say they have a problem, that they are a certain way and they end up with a certain result, and how that can feel defeating. And I wanted to address that by saying this is the beginning of change! It’s an invitation. Life is forever a process, which is the fun of it. Place this frame around all work you may be doing: this feedback is helping us get where we want to go. There is no such thing as “this is the way I am” because we are always in motion.
Sending love and to see any more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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25 Oct 2022 | Ep 183: Pump it up! An energy tune for if you’re feeling less-than, drained, jaded | 00:57:47 | |
Let’s regenerate a bit of that energy and perspective when we are feeling optimal, excited and at the top of our game. This state is also when we are the wisest and most capable of seeing reality for what it is. The energy shift I’m talking about is the difference between clapping along with the camp counselors as they sing songs, and rolling your eyes at them. I think we all have both of those people inside us and we have to choose to lean toward that perspective of “yes-and” –this is how we create lives full of excitement, positivity, friendship and inspiration.
This is an episode aimed at curating an energy of optimism and shininess – because, truly we dictate our worth with how we present in the world. Meaning if we feel less optimal, more lazy, more down, more pessimistic, our energetic presence suffers. We make very different decisions, have very different conversations, and with that different opportunities arise. Our ability to command a room and bring a powerful, positive feeling to ourselves and others, also gets reduced.
So let’s shift our energy, together! Sending love and smiles. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo
DISCLAIMER! There’s like 200 different construction projects happening around me while I’m recording and it sucks. I am so sorry– hopefully it will end before my next record.
And here’s the book I mentioned (The Four Agreements). It’s short and a good stocking-stuffer for anyone who hasn’t read it. (If that’s even possible.)
https://amzn.to/3svSaSo
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20 Dec 2022 | Ep 187: Stepping Back: How to come back to yourself when fixated on the feelings of others | 00:51:12 | |
This is for anyone who obsesses about the thoughts and feelings of others, clinging, feeling anxious and being unable to be yourself. This is targeted at those who are in bad relationship loops but it will also help if this is something that comes up in familial relationships. I thought it was a good refresher for the holidays because a lot of stuff comes up this time of year.
This habit has a lot to do with codependency and relationship reliance because it’s a need to get validation from another person – to hear specific words from them that you are not hearing. It’s also something that comes about when we have a habit of controlling others, often due to fear and uncertainty during childhood. Regardless what we can do to help ourselves is recognize this is happening and come back into ourselves.
That is the key: working on us for us, holding our own hand as we move through the pain. So here are some tools to come back to yourself and ground so you can come back to reality.
For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo
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Happy Holidays friends!
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15 Sep 2021 | Ep 154: How to Set Boundaries with Family + Loved Ones | 00:36:59 | |
This is a follow-up episode to the previous boundaries episode a few weeks ago. It’s to listen to when you are in need of help in setting boundaries with a loved one, if you need some more tactical advice. I cover things to say to that person as well as ways to ground if you are feeling confused and lost in their arguments. It’s also mainly to remind you that boundaries are positive and loving for all people – you and the people in your life you are setting them with. Sending much love and know that it gets easier and more logical as you practice this! Xox!
To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
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14 Feb 2023 | Ep 191: The Roles We Play + how they encode us with meaning | 00:46:05 | |
Roles! What do I mean by that: I mean unspoken hierarchies, relational patterns, engrained and felt archetypes that our family, friends and coworkers reinforce and we reinforce in how we interact with them. This episode is a bit meta. What do I mean by that? It looks at implied and non-verbal communication that creates a lot of the feelings and manifestations in your person via your relationships. So much of communication is non-verbal and implied with tone, delivery, physical cues, subtext, or plays off contextual meaning. We are reading our “place” in a particular situation at the same time as we are dictating our place by how we set boundaries, what we tolerate and how we react to others. This episode is not about dissecting how those situations occur – it’s more a reflection exercise for you to examine the role you have taken on in any given relationship and consider whether or not you want to shift it. We control so much with how we choose to dance in a set of given rhythms.
So this is an invitation to examine the relationships in which you play a role that is not bringing out your best, most joyful and positive self. Maybe it’s in your family of origin. Maybe it’s at work with your coworkers. Maybe it’s in your new family unit. Or a friend group. Regardless we can change everything just with how we covet and respect ourselves!
To read more about how family systems work/manifest, you can check out these books:
https://amzn.to/3IlYDYW
https://amzn.to/3lD7igt
For more about setting boundaries you can check out
https://amzn.to/40NADoG
For some studies around eating disorders and the interactivity of family dynamics you can check out
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5633277/
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02046/full
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-food-is-family/201204/issues-in-attachment-may-contribute-eating-disorders
For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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18 Aug 2021 | Ep 152: Good Boundaries – What they are, how to set them + how to be self-loving | 00:42:44 | |
This is an episode about good boundaries: how to set them as well as WHY to set them. You can think about having one loose boundary as having a leak in a boat: if there’s one hole (aka I have a bad boundary when it comes to dating – I can’t walk away when they don’t follow through) this means your whole sense of self is perpetually sinking. It resets the baseline for your entire life. You will be compromised in your self-respect, your worth, your self-love. It affects everything about your life. I created this episode because a lot of us don’t know what the hell a boundary is – and also why they directly translate into whether or not you like yourself and love yourself. This is a HUGE CORNERSTONE piece of confidence, happiness, lack of fear, lack of jealousy and the ability to actualize personal growth. If you change this ONE HABIT and begin to set firm boundaries, I kid you not it will change everything about your life for the better. It’s AMAZING in what it affects. IMO, it’s the most freeing and powerful thing you can do. So with that – here is the show! 3 parts – what why and how the tools.
To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
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08 Jun 2021 | Ep 147: Our Words: Becoming Aware of the Stories We Tell Ourselves and Others | 00:37:46 | |
This is focused on becoming more aware and also deliberate in your words – curating a more positive and empowering story for yourself and for those you love and enjoy, in life. This episode is also targeted at helping you to recognize your words: making them conscious and guided – because they very much narrate the future of your life. The ones you use inside and importantly outside, really do tell You and others– how things will go. Also, the stories we tell ourselves are often not even our own. We inherit them from parents or others who have modeled a situation for us in formative years: you might find yourself repeating things and really feeling them – even though they’re not true to your life situation.
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03 Jan 2025 | Ep 240: Inspirational Thinking - A New Year Clips Show | 00:27:57 | |
Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo
192 Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701
193 Getting in the energy path of change
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701
201 Working with the energy of scarcity – choosing fulfilment
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000619419445
185 Getting out of your own way
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000587178584
200 Getting back into the energy of limitlessness
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000617776780
Smile! And visit YayWithMe.com for more of my work
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02 Aug 2022 | Ep 177: Couples Counseling – when to do it + the ways it can help | 00:54:52 | |
This is for anyone considering attending couples counseling and you are unsure of what to look for or perhaps you are hesitant about going because you don’t know if it will be effective.
This is also for if you are in fight loops and your conflicts are not being solved and things are being heightened. If you find that you are both throwing out intense ultimatums and yet both staying in the relationship, it’s definitely worth trying – and also shopping for the right person who brings out the deeper emotional truths in both of you. If you haven’t done it before – this is my opinion as a married person: Why you’re doing it as well as what happens while you’re there.
I also think a lot of people believe, “I’m doing everything right and my partner is doing everything wrong.” And they go to couples counseling not knowing what the goal is or expecting the counselor to tell their partner, “You are wrong and you should listen to everything your partner is saying.” And so I wanted to give you my two cents on how to approach couples counseling in the hopes that it will allow you to get something better out of it. So this may help you identify a goal for yourself in therapy – with your partner, so you can curate that result.
I think of a couples counselor as a translator in many ways. They are also containers for the deeper feelings to be revealed so that both can shift behavior toward love and or decisions that are loving. Take what helps and leave the rest! Sending love.
For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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18 Jan 2022 | Ep 163: Parents + Family Who are Emotionally Hurtful | 01:01:56 | |
How to deal with parents who are emotionally unsupportive, unloving, say mean things, are manipulative or compare you to others. The goal of this episode is to move on and heal so that you can be happier and more loving to others. It’s a starting point for putting down the wounds and not living through that place of need, so much. I do think this is an issue best tackled with a therapist because you have do a lot of processing and get perspective. I am a huge fan of therapy and I can’t recommend it enough! You can change everything in your life – including how you relate to others in your family – just by changing yourself. So if you want a healthier relationship with your family, I would start there.
I know this is a tough and painful wound. It doesn’t have to define you forever. Start with a goal and everything else will organically unfold. Sending much love… xo.
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02 Aug 2024 | Ep 229: Curbing Multitasking - A joy tune up | 00:48:21 | |
How do you move through life? Is it with a sense of “time unfolds for me” or is it more “Hurry! I need to catch up!” Let’s curate more joy in the world around ourselves and change our perspective toward “life is happening for me, there is enough, no need to hurry.” Another name for this episode was 'a thousand points of light' because we can affect our sum with small tweaks and additions. When we draw boundaries around our time and step back from mentally being two places at once, our entire experience of life changes.
This episode was inspired by my vacation. It’s for enhancing calmness and beauty. My most important observation: how you relate to time has a creative effect on your life and how you experience its sum. Without being half-working on my phone or intensely guided by efficiency, my day has grown years longer.
When we are “in a rush” for a long time– scheduling everything down to the minute and seeing how much we can accomplish in a day, it is a life designed at the cost of yourself. The casualty is your own depth of enjoyment of ALL moments, not just the ones spent multitasking. And that is because your MO really wires everything about your life experience.
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01 Sep 2021 | Ep 153: Letting Go of an Addiction – Smoking, drugs or something else that’s killing you | 00:49:35 | |
This is for anyone who wants to quit something but is terrified of trying again – or feels hopeless about it. Or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t like life without this thing enough to stay off of it. Or you are too disheartened to try again.
I would bet that although you still do it, you hate this thing so much. You hate that it causes you so much sadness and lost time. And lost self-esteem. And you wish more than anything that you could just press a button and this thing would be gone from your life. That you didn’t have to struggle with this problem. A problem that stays between you and others. That keeps you from love or health or confidence. Of really feeling you can invest in your life being long and happy.
I know that feeling well. It’s like living as a dead person – you are always aware of this dark shadow that is – that thing. The deadly addiction. And you want to turn off your ears and mind to it because it really feels like “I have no other option – so why would I listen?”
But what you can’t see from here is that change is possible when you have the right logic. Change is totally possible when you have the understanding that allows you to truly let go of this problem. I’ll talk a lot about my particular addictions in this episode. And here are the books that I mention – PLEASE READ ONE!!!
For smokers:
https://amzn.to/3mVEM8N
For vapers:
https://amzn.to/3kEK5q9
For over-drinkers (but I think it will apply to drugs, too):
https://amzn.to/3mP65RX
Another for more severe drinkers:
https://amzn.to/3kKvLMQ
Haven’t read this but it’s using his principles, about emotional eating:
https://amzn.to/3BoYehY
This episode is dedicated to my aunt Margaret. I love you. And I will miss you forever.
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23 May 2024 | Ep 224: Moving Through Pain Toward Transformation | 00:50:34 | |
This is for seeing a wall or a low point as an opportunity for transformation. This is an episode for moving out of a state of woe. When we surrender and deliberately hold ourselves as we “pass” the pain, this is when new doors open and we grow amazing new capacities. The aim of this episode is to start floating atop top the water versus fighting it, when you’re in a place of resistance and suffering.
Other names for this episode were ‘Being happy when others in your life aren’t’ and ‘Welcoming synchronicity and grace.’ And that is because when we surrender and accept powerlessness, signs begin to come in. I hope this helps you!
Let us all let go. Welcome what is. Hold ourselves through where we are. And with that, allow in the flow of love and trust. Sending love...
The two books I mention in this episode are here:
https://amzn.to/4bQwC7H
https://amzn.to/4bsBNLb
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29 Mar 2022 | Ep 168: Loving Yourself Enough to Let Someone Go | 00:58:11 | |
This is an episode for emotional pain related to leaving a relationship that is not working. This is really a follow up to the “bad relationship” episode. I have gotten several requests in this area so I’m going to try and give you some tools to really process what you want, why that is valid, and relieve some of the negative thoughts that may come about when you try and leave a bad relationship. This is for re-centering yourself and finding a bit of peace in the face of your own decision making. A lot of us struggle with guilt and second-guessing ourselves when so much is at stake. It’s incredibly painful and challenging to move through a loss voluntarily – so if you are contemplating leaving – and it’s been a long time, then I would guess it’s that bad. It’s not easy to do. Don’t take it lightly. I wanted to give you a heads up – this episode has a lot of tools because it’s really geared toward help and mental processing.
For anyone who is in a relationship that poses danger to your physical safety, and in need of support to exit/escape that relationship here is a great resource:
National Domestic Violence Hotline. 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 800-799-7233. Text "start" to 88788, or chat live at thehotline.org.
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21 Jul 2021 | Ep 150: Painful Comparison - Why it’s happening and how to find relief | 00:40:44 | |
This is for anyone who is fixating on what is better about someone else and devaluing yourself. The flux that is your own perceived value. It can become an obsession – something that doesn’t let go of your brain – and haunts you almost like a worry you cannot put to rest. I am in particular focusing on the measurement that may be done while online, maybe that’s with social media like Instagram, or with photos – some kind of evidence that you get obsessed with and cannot seem to stop weighing and quantifying. “If this thing I perfect, where do I fall compared to this thing?” Because just like anything, this is a perspective that – with deliberate effort and focus, can be shifted.
For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com
To support our latest sponsors, you can check out BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe
Or you can check out the podcast Chatting with Candace on Apple Podcasts!
Xo!
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06 Jun 2023 | Ep 199: Healing from Choosing Bad Relationships: Coming Back Home to Yourself | 01:12:06 | |
This is about codependency and how it can make it hard to choose right. This is aimed at changing the goal you have in your search for love.
This is for anyone who has a habit of choosing bad relationships and therefore they feel like they cannot be happy. Maybe you have a pattern of super meh relationships and you don’t really know if you like the other person, or maybe you have a pattern of really legit terrible relationships where you are chosen by that other person and they adore you, but you find again and again they are a mess and your job is to clean them up and beg for tiny crumbs of getting your needs met.
A lot of the time when we grow up with dysfunction and chaos, we find that we are unable to judge the other people we meet because we don’t have a connection to our inner compass. And we are struggling to feel safe, so we constantly focus on the others around us. As we get older we are still in this state of reacting to everything around ourselves. And as a way to get relief from our anxiety, we help and soothe others. We build them up, fix them and make them our project. When someone sees beauty and greatness in us and we share a connection, the pain goes away and we fall deeply in love. But this is a love that depletes us – we are constantly trying to come back to that feeling of intoxication: the moment when we were seen, loved unconditionally, and the other person made all the pain go away. But instead, we find that we are still working and working for crumbs.
If this sounds like you – and perhaps you are aware of it, and sick of it, and thinking you cannot ever find love, know that that thinking is not helpful or functional. And it’s not true. It’s just where you are right now, but that can change. You have to actively want to change that – to see the issue at the root and work on it from there.
This one’s for Aubrey.
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To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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25 May 2021 | Ep 146: Love Reset: For when reactivity and oversensitivity takeover healthy relationships | 00:36:06 | |
Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me!
To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here:
https://amzn.to/2St6rAs
For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com!
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09 Dec 2021 | Ep 160: Holiday Feels – Ways to Stay Centered in the Face of Holiday Stress | 00:54:34 | |
This is for anyone who needs some help to navigate difficult feelings and situations that come up around the holidays – whether that be dealing with family drama, overwhelm, or loneliness.
If a lot of “stuff” is coming up for you right now, know that you are not alone. A lot of feels come up during the end of the year: it’s heightened. There are a lot of expectations – ours and those of loved ones. We tend to feel like we need to be somewhere in our life, be with someone, have certain things, or be a certain way – especially when it comes to putting on a certain face around family. And if you are working on yourself, it can be just enough to push you over the edge of “okay” toward “freaking out” or “overwhelmed.”
So the shorthand of this episode is – do what you need to do to take care of yourself and honor yourself! That and be very aware of your thoughts: don’t let them take over your experience of this time. You get to choose the thoughts you want to follow, and the ones that are not helpful.
Sending much love – and if you want to check out additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com/Donate
To support our sponsors this week:
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19 Jun 2024 | Ep 226: Zak Rosen + Making Waves of Positive Change in Your Life | 00:57:35 | |
This is a conversation with Zak Rosen of “The Best Advice Show” all about how small acts make massive waves of change outwards. This is a feel-good show all about changes that affect the arc of life: the small, conscious tweaks we make change our trajectory in terms of happiness and overall quality of life. And the advice you hear in this episode is not necessarily what you’d expect–it’s grounded, simple, and life-altering.
If you guys want to hear the episode mentioned when Zak interviewed me on his show, check out the link below:
https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/expecting-the-opposite-with-sarah-may-b/id1507811918?i=1000485483262
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