F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast (Dain Miller & Niall Spain)

1 out of 2 doctors recommend listening to this with headphones so that you can hear it over the sound of your bones being smashed.  Topics include not having the right gym badges for Tinder, playing the Uno queef reverse card, phone code clean up, the science of floor sex, post break up Instagram wipe.

This week we bring on our first honest-to-goodness sexpert!  We may be stuck inside due to the recent unpleasantness, but that doesn't mean we can't reach out across this fine Internet and connect with new voices to share their wisdom with you.  Topics include 50/50 sex savant, vaginal orgasm fixation, first time frustration, the band-aid scream solution, sex-induced pooping. If you'd like to find Suzannah on social media, check her out on Twitter: @suzannahweiss, on Instagram: weisssuzannah and online at suzannahweiss.com.

Sure, 2020 was bad, but nothing is worse than finding out someone beat you to Girth Brooks.  Topics include, zombie sex robots, nude roommate blunder, nothing gay about pegging, finding your bad date's Twitter, a return to the fever dreams of BetterBetch, amnesia as a defense. This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED.  Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

If someone could just Shrek-style pull all the wax out of my ears, that would be very kick ass.  Topics include waterboarding your ears, stalking masturbation, donating your wedding dress, and erectile terror.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

We mark our special one year anniversary of doing live shows at Black Sheep by inviting our lawfully wedded podwives, Liv and Maddy, from the award-winning show 30 Going on 13, to join us on stage for an extra long, extra chaotic special!

Welcome to this week's episode, if you'll give us a moment, we just have to finish half-heartedly deepthroating this dildo.  Topics include PS5 sadness, an abusive song, unexpected dildo desires, reverting to your original stink, neighbourly sex crimes, dealing with a broken condom.

Niall was STILL away on his stupid cruise this week, so here's our last live episode where we spend probably too much time talking about rural landmarks.  We return to our regular schedule next week!

Get out the shovels, boys!  Let's bring this bar straight to hell!  Topics include how low can the bar go, pulling a meatloaf, getting sweaty at the gym for all the wrong reasons, is your labia and innie or an outie?

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

During these trying times, its important to check in on your friends and see if they're doing okay especially if they were absolutely never doing okay.  Topics include an innovative use of bodily fluids, the desire to be a classy wife, post break-up couples therapy, getting used, cum prevention techniques, bragging about being an adult.

Circle message: Y'all make me so horny, my eggplant emoji sneezes.  Send!  Topics include our Circle strategy, sexy sneezy situation, degradation play, the price of your wasted time, mom bod fetish, Pavlov's beans, how to ask out someone you barely know, weird rejection stories.

I'll say it here, so that there is both written and recorded evidence, but I would fight Drake in the ring for the honour of all of Toronto.  Topics include when you're not invited to your girlfriend's cool parties, missing the clues that you may not be dating anymore, accidentally calling your partner the wrong name in bed, informing your date about unusual physical features, why Drake (and Kanye) are the biggest douchebags, choosing between safety and morality and the most important dating question of our time thanks to a Hinge profile.

This week we start off pretty butt-centric, but don't worry, we branch out.  Niall gives a much needed health update and Dain is worried about the careers of porn writers.  Topics include a froggy conundrum, respecting property, a cardboard cut-out situation, infant master thief or cursed couch, not owning a monopoly on your partner's love and respectful slapping.

We may have missed Valentine's Day, but that doesn't mean you don't need dating advice anymore.  In fact, with our inadvertent ignoring of the big V-D, you may need our advice more than ever!  Topics include the normal amount of likes to get on Tinder, hiding your success from new dates, when to offer a ride on a date, admitting your toxic behaviour, discounting non-hetro sexual experiences.

We've finally recovered from our weekend in Philly, so here's a hot and fresh new episode.  This was recorded earlier this month, so if we talk about stuff that's already past... ignore it.  We're all adults here.  Topics include one position finish, a divisive red flag, nocturnal emissions, airport seduction, preparing the splash zone, sucking to success.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

If anyone needs me, I'll be hanging with my mom for the next three weeks.  Topics include your boyfriend's cool horse friend, ex's engagement effect, kept under lock and key, how to not ask for a woman's number, get me cheating, got you cheating, not being as cool as your boyfriend's mom, a confusing text.

Listen, if your mom isn't going on our romantic destination third date, I'm not interested.  Topics include escalating your dates too quickly, banging the band, asexual expectations, suggesting anal.

Before you do anything, take a second and think to yourself, "Hey.  Did this happen in Dumb and Dumber?"  Topics include a really crappy first date, having the basic essentials of being an adult, a boggling bedtime invitation, mutual masturbation empowerment, a not-so suspicious work place friendship, addressing the construct that is virginity and the made-up science of dating.

It's not included in any of the party packages, but if you find the right suspicious looking kid, he'll hook you up.  Topics include constant cheating accusations, no sex two weeks before meeting, really hot bully, a childish first date, sibling only birthday dinner, tired of talking...forever, caught condomless, suspicious co-worker, and cracking jokes about cheating.

I'm sorry, babe.  I'm not trying to karate chop you in the ribs... it's this damn disease!  Topics include the sexual history with her dude friends, clumsy boyfriend or horrible person, too soon for "what are we", DIY frustrations, Burning Man sex plane and the mysteries of the future.

NOTE: As of right now, our show is sold out already.  You're monsters and we love you.  We're working on getting more seats in the venue. It's too hot to write a damn description.  You figure it out.

I think we can all agree that humans are definitely filled with flaws, but there is one design choice on men that is absolutely just a real swing and a miss.  Topics include the persuasive ability of your past sexual conquests, a sexy picture with an unwanted addition, a primo Doubtfire situation, where the dickmeat goes, the trouble a nocturnal penis lands you in, when is it okay to vent to your friends.

Take it from me, a renowned dog/man trainer, the stinkier the window, the better the lesson.  Topics include the completely made up and imaginary female orgasm, the male desire to feel special, the woman in the window, are you a homewrecker or just friends with a woman, the sleepiest and horniest man alive and, of course, more Tindies.

This episode we practice our Batman voices because we all know that's the only voice women respond to.  Topics include cat litter feng shui, how to compliment a penis other than size, over analyzing completely normal interactions, disclosing mensuration status, how to protect your girlfriend from the suave barista and curbing a rising exhibitionist.

Welcome to our city of Toronto fancast where we talk about our favourite city instead of helping you.  Topics include regrets of key giving, masturbation efficacy, cuckolding gone wrong, when to cancel a date, hot girl phase, My Fair Lady (2022 Remake).

I can't help but look down at my balls every now and then and think, "Sure, you're massive.  But are you masculine?"  Topics include rated below her ex for best orgasms, a four year sex sabbatical, how to impress hundreds of women, a well endowed girlfriend. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies 

We celebrate our unbroken streak of 300 episodes by returning to where it all started.  Join us for an episode of introspection, disappointing sodas and the advice you've come to love. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Imagine the absolute power you would if your penis was always... perfect.  Topics include not even knowing if you're in a hole or not, marital status as relating to creampies, catching the ick, coping with past traumas, triggers and partners that don't understand them, and as usual a WHOLE slew of Tinders to round us out.

Hey, idiot! Are you bad at dishes? Go read a book. Can't solve complicated math problems? READ A BOOK! Topics include underground platonic cuddle group, how to know if your date went well, underage Grindr extraction, a cold first experience, requiring a trip to the sex library.

We've recorded so many episodes in the past few weeks that I'm starting to lose sense of what time even means anymore.  Topics include short-term long-distance, learning to beg for it, the attractiveness of your own apartment, eye contact correction, de-normalize the nipple, nosy neighbours or noisy neighbours.

There's only one thing I want when I confront my ex and it's just a tiny puddle for everyone to see.  Topics include surviving period rage, thrust issues, reaching the climax, how to confront your ex, an intimate sibling evening.

If you idiots keep naming your kids almost exactly like your name, you can't blame me when I accidentally send you a bright green gimp suit.  Topics include the serious commitment of meal prepping, sex tape swap, retroactive anime jealousy, using a sex toy vs being used as a sex toy, sex toys for dad.

Dain brings big dad energy to this one and Niall insults some brains.  Topics include fortunes found in foreskin, a murdery update, a rocky honeymoon phase, annoyingly platonic dick pics, being bullied by your wife to sleep with her friend, why won't just reject men up front, an epic chronicle of perfect monster girls.

I hope you're ready for a deep dish serving of Tony Pizza lore.  Topics include nickname game strong, cheating cruise, sitting in the corner, watching you dance with him (whoa-oa-oa), drunk gay me.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Flure App: Made for Pleasure - https://www.flure.com/

No matter what you do today, it's what Dad wanted you to do.  Topics include a relationship split, squirting insecurities, the feeling like someone is watching you, ignoring red flags, the omnipotent power of dad.

If anyone "needs" me, I'll be "going" to do some "groceries" because I'm feeling a little "hungry."  Topics include a toothbrush truth bust, how hard that head get, not allowed to break up, not getting enough sex, Netflix and chill... but like... bad, proving you're absolutely not fun.

There's a time and a place to brag about all your cool rocks and it's literally anywhere and always.  Topics include hitting on cuties at the beach with your really cool bucket, a masturbation to sex food comparison, the most sexual vagina to head contact, is it shallow to find someone unattractive, reverse materialistic girlfriend, cunnilingus (but from behind) and pick-up personality archetype selection.

Did we lose track of time and forget to do a Sexmas episode or is Sexmas whenever we want it to be?  Topics include Dain settles the Die Hard debate, stinky laundry pick-up, porn and sex addiction, analingus scrub down, carding your date, stubborn spousal gift giving, having your crush called out, expecting a romcom answer.

We bring some real bad energy at the top of this episode because sometimes you just got to let it all out, but don't worry, we get to that good stuff in no time.  Topics include not allowed to be good at video games, contrary boners, manufacturing a broken heart, looking sexy tied up, mother-daughter dildo bonding and a fun new game!

This might be, like... totally random, but would you like to watch this completely irrelevant documentary about why a penis might be small after a workout?  Topics include pet pee problem, the important of consent in consensual non-consent, working out so hard it makes your dick small, repelling intimate behaviour, lying about your location and a new slew of Tinders.

Cbat has official graduated from best boner jam to my new warlord anthem so that I can achieve my true potential.  Topics include the origin and mystery of Cbat by Hudson Mohawke, a perfect guide how to not approach kinks, the importance of the first "C" in "CNC", covering up your 4 inch lie, using outing someone as blackmail, parsing very easy to understand messages.

Everything is okay if you film it.  Topics include sharing your feelings, when she fucks you up, a soft "I hate you", making her mine.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

You've really gotta know what scene I'm talking about.  You know?  With Adam Driver?  And he's eating the soup?  It's from that show.  Come on.  You gotta know.  Topics include breaking out of a bad dating cycle, after sex text, getting rid of your smart look.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

While Niall deals with an out-of-body experience due to cold meds, I'll just be over here trying to be Willem Dafoe.  Topics include forcing someone to hurt your feelings, sexually competing with your sister, rough sex method acting, surprise third wheel, your partner's red flag future boss, quiet and creepy.

Stop what you're doing right now and go enter our Sexmas Giveaway!  Contest ends December 17th 2020, so get going!  Links are found further below.  Topics include celebrating a dead abuser, being a sober dater, how to absolutely not connect with teens, the detriments of condoms, recovering from an accident, wanting it rougher. ENTER THE SEXMAS GIVEAWAY: https://www.facebook.com/fckbuddiespodcast/posts/1314934288840772 https://twitter.com/Fck_Buddies/status/1337182382550634501 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIoGISYg7VM/

If you're going to tell me a joke or have sex with me, I beg you... please be gentle.  My gut and my frenulum are prone to busting.  Topics include the inevitability of being cheated on, catching feelings is a no, bringing a plus one on a date, the masturbation danger, the fragility of the banjo string, roleplay 101, not ready for a relationship (with you).

Much like the state of the world, it's a bit of a strange one this week, folks.  We're practicing social distancing and therefore are recording remotely, so we apologize for the audio quality.  We're taking steps to improve the clarity in the coming weeks for as long as we have to continue to self-isolate.  We hope you're all keeping safe and staying healthy, we love you.  Topics include COVID-19, self-isolation long distance relationships, a tempting booty call, stop eating ass, a best friend boner, and a quarantine decision.

It's Tumbler 2's favourite podcast back again with another episode that the kids just CANNOT get enough of.  Topics include the best way to prevent and hide your incredible erection, sexually escalating too quickly, parsing exactly what it means to be a simp, escaping a toxic friendship before it's too late and more of those sweet dating profiles you love.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Taylor Swift may be causing global warming by flying her private jet from Superbowl to Superbowl, but we're here to teach you how to make out so well that people will be calling you Taylor Shift.  Topics include a weird response to "I miss you," how to date a bad kisser, teaching your son pick up and getting a hall pass.

Visit this week's sponsor: Flure Dating: Made for Pleasure - https://flure.com

He wants to gaze upon your cheeks like no one ever has.  The peep them is his real test, to rim them is his cause. Topics include what's good for the butthole is good for the gander, closure for children, dealing with the challenges of modern online dating, how to take charge, walking the fine line between friends or something more.

I don't care if you're a princess or a puppy, you can have all of the parts.  Topics include disrespecting your girlfriend's culture with your boner, ripping the band-aid of virginity off, fake scheme boyfriend, saying things you're not really into. 

Everything sucks, but we made this for you anyway.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Niall is away on a vacation cruising around Europe, so this is the perfect chance to release our first set of shows recorded live at Black Sheep.

I don't know about you, Iron Man, but a Thanos snap doesn't seem like the worst idea right now.  Topics include a soupy Samurai seduction, losing your virginity with Mr. Stark, a post-break up birthday party, the most sacred of family vows, dealing with a chronic ghoster, illicit trampoline funds.

This week Dain confronts Niall about a terrible crime and a whole new conspiracy reveals itself.  Topics include astral hexing, expectations for a romantic picnic, emotional cheating, the right time to state intentions, escaping Scientology, dating profile review.

This week we're joined by fellow Canadian Podcast Award winning host, Tim Lagman.  Tim brings an assortment of questions from his listeners to the boys as well as a new and exciting game: Home or Homos! Check out Sex Ed with Tim!

There's a very big announcement involving Sexmas at the end of the show, so make sure you stay around to hear what we've got planned.  Or you could skip ahead to the end, but we know you wouldn't do that... would you?  Topics include learning what Dain's scented candle is, being your true self, how to stop being attracted to women, navigating a Hall Pass, the importance of a safe word, our big Sexmas plan!

I'm not going to lie, if someone offered me really cute kittens, I'd probably have sex with them too.  Wait, I mean the person.  Not the kittens!  Topics include a suspiciously sexy feline pick-up, a sitcom worthy legal lie and one of the longest answers we've ever given that pretty much covers every aspect of dating.

We're back in fine form and actually answering questions this week, so get in here and get educated/entertained!  Topics include ungrateful Roman holiday, a successful sexual funk, moving too quickly with a hug, toxic bedroom expectations.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I swear to God, if you ever destroy a sentimental gift, I will break up with you so hard that Jim Ross will call you and shout, "BAH GAWD!  He's busted that relationship in half!"  Topics include date night, but make it oppressive, a stealthy miscommunication, a persistent friend, how to find your groove, the literally severing of bonds.

Dain's all juiced up on that sweet Pfizer/Moderna cocktail and not even feeling like absolute hot garbage will stop him.  Topics include Sam and Bucky's relationship, guessing if your date expects sex, a penial perjury, the untrustworthy lack of jealousy, navigating STD tests with your FWB and what to do when your cool mom really likes your cool sex painting.

I, for one, welcome our future, sexy robot overlord.  This week we're joined by sexting AI, Slutbot, creator Brianna Rader to talk about all things sexting.  Topics include a guide to great sexting, how to text with women, how to encourage your partner to be a better sexter, how to let down an over-eager texter, a hall pass with a twist and a fresh batch of Tinder profiles.

Find Brianna and Slutbot: https://www.juiceboxit.com/ https://twitter.com/brirader

Imagine the world we could live in if you used your statistics powers for good instead of evil.  Fearing we haven't been answering a whole lot of questions lately, we bring another rapid-fire session to clear Niall's question backlog.  Topics include a romance born in blackout, a hiking adventure with an ex, break-up responsibilities, crunching the cafeteria romance numbers, suspicious step-sister sports bra, an anti-vax ultimatum and, as usual, a new batch of Tinders.

How can ever wall be a window?  How can a balcony be a room?  How can mom be EVERYWHERE.  Topics include situationship penis fracture, the ever-present mother, irresistible shirtless dad, stripping away insecurity.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I know that it's been a tough couple of years, friends, but we need to stop putting things in our butts that shouldn't go in our butts.  Topics include and explosive anal surprise, being clear about your invitations, how long until men expect sex, when you don't have the spark but you've already had the sex, sign language and sex, and, of course, a new batch of dating profiles to be rated.

After a month of the most chaotic recording schedule we've ever had, we're finally settling back into our proper rhythm, so sit back and expand your brains with this week's dose of dating and sex advice.  Topics include the 1-10 hottest scale, how much space do you give when they need space, sharing your ex's nudes with your first date, how to be hit in the face with literally every red flag ever, looking for intimacy through sex and a whole new slew of dating profiles.

If you're not blasting this episode in public through a speaker backpack, I don't think you even really care about us.  Topics include he doesn't know he just broke up with me, new pussy problems, forced to hang out with her ex, my ex is telling me no.

Welcome to this week's podcast episode where we fail to correctly identify or reference anything that has to do with pop culture or classic literature!  Topics include finding a boyfriend who isn't best friends with Shaggy, requiring validation from strangers, breaking up but not letting go, post-oral kissing protocol and giving up the notion of "the one."

The lines have been drawn in the sand.  You're either with us or against us.  The War on Boys begins now!  Topics include a brief history of Canadian serial killers, virtual work dress codes, supporting new hobbies, nocturnal smackdown, how to dirty talk if your partner started it, homewrecker avoidance tactics.

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com We begin our adventure deep in the space of the Casa-Mal system as the crew of The Maverick investigates a missing fellow TVRN, The Nightcrawler.  What should be a simple contract turns to chaos and offers more questions than answers.  Durrin recovers a relic of his past.  Merrick asks the hard questions.  Cody finds a new purpose. If you haven't listened to our World Primer, we strongly recommend you do as this campaign takes place in a homebrew setting and references concepts and terms unique to the show.

Theme Song: "Escaped from the Lost Temple" by Eugene Levitas (ASCAP)

Cyber Attack by JuliusH - https://pixabay.com/music/electronic-cyber-attack-dark-epic-and-mystically-music-7594/

Short Action by John Yasutis - https://pixabay.com/music/main-title-short-action-3677/

Sanjaw Technoworld by Sanjawbeatz - https://pixabay.com/music/techno-trance-sanjaw-technoworld-2892/

Analog Sway by Fabien Renoult (BMI) & Josquin des Pres (BMI)

Cinematic Moog Motion by Zen Man - https://pixabay.com/music/pulses-cinematic-moog-motion-3507/

Surface by Shannon Rothe - https://pixabay.com/music/deep-house-surface-967/

No Quest for the Wicked uses trademarks and/or copyrights owned by Paizo Inc., used under Paizo's Community Use Policy (paizo.com/communityuse). We are expressly prohibited from charging you to use or access this content. No Quest for the Wicked is not published, endorsed, or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo Inc. and Paizo products, visit paizo.com.

If I can't see, I don't believe it and I ain't NEVER seen a dolphin!  Topics include not quittin' the gym, sharing sex problems publicly, my not so smart boyfriend, a dead libido rises again.

And as the last light of humanity slowly flickers away, the words echoed one last time, "I am immortal."  Topics include cryptic sex AIs, unhealthy ways to express doubts, when to a bail on catfish dates, peanut butter dog crimes and masturbation material. This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED.  Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

Look, we've almost made it through 2020.  For the love of God, just stay clear of this donkey.  Topics include ranking your sexual partners, dangers of dating a witch, a textbook way to ruin Christmas, cellphone paranoia, reflecting on missed opportunities.

You've got three months to find your own place, Greg.  Or else you're going to see your uncle do some things you never want to see your uncle do.  Topics include re-evaluating your standards, fear of gagging, incredibly bad post-natal impulse control, no love without phone call, embarrassed of your uncle's sex dungeon, the solution to online dating and the longest dating profile we've EVER read. 

Literally every delicious food could be made into a dick or balls.  Are we supposed to starve?!  Topics include shivering her timbers, boba is sus, cheating on your girlfriend before cheating on No Nut November, and how to train your girlfriend.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I don't care who knows it: Leader of Men by Nickelback is a pretty good song.  Topics include recurring tattoo troubles, three round sex requirement, post-sex clean up techniques, what makes sex bad, Dain's murder closet. This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED.  Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

We're not ones to push conspiracy theories, but has anyone ever actually gone inside of a Panera?  Topics include retaliation vomit, a long overdue check in, bed time routine trouble, the correlation between sex and dating potential, Panera is a liberal hoax.

I know we say it a lot, but I think this one is the sweatiest episode ever.  Even in the middle of a heatwave here in Toronto, we get in our murder-sweat-closest to record an episode to keep your sex at the top of its game.  Topics include calling dibs on women, a potential spectral surprise, a creepy meet-cute, getting over social anxiety and improving self-worth, a date refund, sharing condom costs.

This episode contains a revelation that will absolutely make you see hell.  Topics include marrying the wrong royalty, choosing who takes your virginity, embracing your past and sharing it with your partner, a new red flag litmus test, James McAvoy is back at it again and, as always, more Tindies.

You ever reveal a kink to your partner and think, "I shouldn't have said that.  I should not have said that."  Topics include vaccines and nominations, a very big fetish for a very big man, ball aesthetics, escaping abusive relationships, quiet men, keeping baby news from your partner.

I'm sure a lot is going to happen in 2023 or whatever, but nothing will be more important than Dain getting an air fryer.  Topics include taking things slow and casual, blurring out your friends on Tinder, jealous of your partner's online attention, learning to dominate your wife.

Don't be fooled by the title, y'all.  This is still a good episode, but man, it would have been SO GOOD if we could have made some banger T-Swift references.  Topics include who keeps the concert tickets, reasonable set of standards, breaking up for the dumbest reason and diagnosing a kink.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

We're absolutely swamped preparing for our show in New York next week, so we thought it would be a perfect time to release the new Patreon format for public preview!  We've been asked for a long time to do long-form, single topic episodes, so... ask and ye shall receive!  Every month we'll pick a topic and discuss so that if you're ever searching for specific advice, you don't have to search through hundreds of episodes.  We hope you enjoy!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

This week Dain introduces Niall to a completely unheard of new musical act called The Dave Matthews Band.  Topics include sexy lyrics, not judging lowly scumbags, a long distance booty call, a poisoner returns to the scene of the crime, confusing compatibility with red flags, embracing a completely made up bad boy persona, the dangers of bed humping, an adorable pranker and a feline Tinder takeover.

We don't think John Cena was trying to be sexy when he hit Dain really hard with a sledgehammer, but maybe we just don't know what the kids are into these days.  Topics include upping your red flag game, ex-girlfriend ruining sex, second class girlfriend and the voidgina. Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I don't have abs or a good brain, I'm pretty much House-Elf Mike.  Topics include a step-by-step guide to murder-staring, separating the desire for sex and masturbation, a fishy proposition, the new Arby's vagina sandwich, long distance reconnection and discussing Asian-focused violence.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED.  Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

We got a break from the scorching heat here in Toronto, so we took advantage by using our very big brains to answer your questions with perfect clarity this week.  Topics include Pokemon passion problems, communication tactics, keeping it SIMP-le, anal inclinations, saving your tongue for marriage, and we review more of your submitted Tinder profiles.

At this point in time, we actually have no idea if we're straight or not anymore.  Topics include TikTok date shaming, dark and twisted fantasies, keeping in contact with past fuck buddies, admitting to being a serial cheater, accidentally making friends with women and becoming a good person and also maybe becoming gay.

After surviving the harrowing attack last week, we've returned to the scene of the crime to reclaim our space and peace of mind.  Topics include scooping two ladies from the club, kung fu rejection, no longer being the family's favourite, a knockout blowjob, a pegging punch.

Is this a new episode or is this actually the oldest episode?  WHAT A TWIST!  Topics include new friend ban, erecting the tiniest statue, last minute cancellation policy, a question with a twist no one will see coming, how to crowd a dance floor in twenty minutes, a new spin on the Tinder game.

This week we have an exciting guest, Shakun Sethi, the founder and CEO of Tickle.Life, a website that can only be described as a sexuality megasite.  Topics include parent safe glory hole descriptions, sex when you're not feeling sexy, starting a conversation from nothing, the leaky boob betrayal, a third-party DM inquiry.

Visit www.tickle.life for more sex and sexuality wellness material!

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com

Follow along to the audio logs of Captain Jonathan Oralias, one of the first humans to travel into the Casa-Mal system after The Descent as he forges a new path for himself and his family while searching for purpose in humanity's new home.  This is essential listening for our first campaign and sets up the core ideas and concepts of our homebrew setting. Additional music credit:

"Cinematic Ambient 01" by Zen Man (https://pixabay.com/music/ambient-cinematic-ambient-01-788/)

No Quest for the Wicked uses trademarks and/or copyrights owned by Paizo Inc., used under Paizo's Community Use Policy (paizo.com/communityuse). We are expressly prohibited from charging you to use or access this content. No Quest for the Wicked is not published, endorsed, or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo Inc. and Paizo products, visit paizo.com.

Crack open an ice cold beer that may or may not include someone's genital bacteria and enjoy this week's episode!  Topics include the mystical yoni, how to recover after losing a fight, a political tattoo, getting over a broken heart and accepting your vagina's plumpness.

We've officially declared this week a NOVID-Nonteen episode.  We don't talk about the recent unpleasantness and get back to what we're meant to do: serve up the best sex and dating advice you can find on the Internet.  Also, thanks for your patience while we sort out our remote recording issues and we're happy to announce we're back at full quality and maximum boi-energy.  Topics include jealous of dog cuddles, yappy women, how to know you're in love, is there such a thing as too much sex, desiring more little kisses, discovering masturbation, every man's worst Gage nightmare.

Don't be scared by our rocky start, this episode is still packed to the brim with that good advice and plenty of trips to Tangent City.  Topics include a cryptic door note, how to pamper your fuck buddy, how to recover from asking someone out and not getting a response, taking steps to rougher sex, stop wasting your time and energy on douchebags.  Also, check out our new friends at Tickle.Life for all sorts of great sexuality and health content!

Sometimes you've got plans with the prince and sometimes you've got a random booty call.  We don't know what the means and it doesn't matter if you do either.  Topics include not saying "I love you" back, dirty talk demoralization, vacation video mix-up, getting comfortable with your vagina, how to soak your dick and stay chaste, one night stand booty call protocol and giving break-up gifts.

That's right, ladies.  You sit there... sipping your lemonades while men continue to suffer at the hands of society.  Topics include a jet setting affair, sentimental nude stash, personifying your manhood, the allure of tearing off clothing, the historical significant of that tangy yellow juice, the best you ever had.

Ol' Walt is a real freak for this one.  That slinky dog really gets put through it.  Topics include being eaten alive by the prospect of threesomes, sexual support stuffy, marriage ending threesome, degradation play without the play.

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If I pass you on the street and you're holding something... just know: I thought about it.  Topics include resolutions and setting yourself up for success, good girl/bad girlfriend, not okay with "are you okay?", not bailing when booty called and old timey Tinders!

Get your favourite liberal lies and insurrection conspiracy theories ready, y'all, it's time to muddy the dating pool!  Topics include revisiting Canada's sex worker laws, the right's hottest new dating app, navigating busy schedules, being seduced into removing a condom, first date with li'l baby Tate, how not to approach older women on Tinder.

Have we finally found the stinky zombie car crash boyfriend?  We may never know.  Topics include no sex till dating, an all-day tease-a-thon, strong candidate for most garbage human of the year, first time struggles, anti-vax ick, Niall reinstates Dain's hangover.