Ecumenical Matters The Father Ted Podcast (James McAnespy)

DJ  and musician Graham Harrison has to cure The Plague befalling Craggy  Island, as the whole place is coming down with rabbits and Ted and  Dougal desperately search for a ways to get rid of them - on the eve of  Bishop Brennan's impromptu visit! Mrs Doyle puts her mechanic skills to  use on Len's car, while Jack confuses his rodents. 

Also  in the Sermon, we try to imagine the Islanders as characters on Police  Academy, rabbit stories - cute AND creepy, which fictional serial killer  Tom is most like and did Father Ted invent a horror trope? It's just a  bad dream, Your Grace.

The classic Henry Sellers ("I MADE THE BBC") episode, Competition Time. Hopefully  you'll laugh as much as the largely overshadowed character, Barty  Dunne; we get the first appearance of Dick Byrne; how many times Mrs  Doyle says 'Ah, go on!' (it's hard to keep count!); lepresy; Craggy  Island Rehab Resort; Hans Zimmer (you'll hear why); Going for Gold;  Stars in Their Eyes; Elvis Aaron Presley and lots more! Except the  English Papers. Stray Observations Henry Sellers was played by Niall Buggy 'Ah Go On' count: 25! Dick Byrne was played by Maurice O'Donoghue Craggy Island v Rugged Island is one of fiction's great place rivalries! We have a good look at director Declan Lowney's contribution to the show too

Kiel Cathers, lead singer of folk rock behemoths The Logues wards off  the huddled masses of Eoin McLove fans in this hilarious send up of  Daniel O’Donnell.

Mrs Doyle is besotted when she wins a competition to have her beloved TV  host Eoin McLove visit her, but she's not the only one on the island  who wants to meet him. Dougal thinks he's very cheeky, Ted doesn't  approve of his poetry tastes and Jack waxes lyrical on the nature of  fandom.

We also talk about treacherous male bonding games such as Eyeball  Chicken and Killerball, fainting Michael Jackson fans and false rumours  about Pope John Paul II.

Belfast Comedy Writers Johnny Nicholl and Jonathan McCoy watch Ted  insult a sixth of the world's population when he tries to impersonate a  Chinese person. Dougal helps him come up with an idea, but he didn't  realise there were a lot of small ideas after. Mrs Doyle uses a novel  form of chiropractic after she falls off the roof and Jack develops agoraphobia.

We also fill in the cultural and historical gaps between seasons two and  three, discuss the racism in Breakfast at Tiffanys, the Nazi marketing  machine, how the Irish kids TV show The Den delayed the news EVERY DAY,  and how hard it is to find black clothes (the regular shops shaft us  every time!).

Actors  Glenn Hamill and Christian Jackson discuss Ted's desires as he tries to  woo superstar author Polly Clark. Mrs Doyle turns the air blue, and  Dougal is even more confused by all the women around. Nuns! Nuns! Reverse Reverse!   We also ask why people fake reading books, Ted's hipster phase, Jack's smuggling techniques and Christian reveals how odd it was seeing  people with ashes on their forehead for the first time. Stray Observations Polly Clarke was played by Gemma Craven

London  Comedy Writers Olly Allsop and Jordan Birch attend the upgrading of the  Holy Stone of Clonrickert to a Class 2 Relic. Hosting three bishops on  the island is going to be the highlight of Mrs Doyle's career, but  unfortunately she's lost her contact lenses. Dougal philosophises on the nature of Heaven and Hell and all that, while Ted has to bring Jack  through a few elocution lessons (Th-th-th-that...).

We  also share our own Gary Lineker Ghost Stories, the mechanics of  Buckaroo (The Sport of Kings), and Dougal's Bjork obsession. It's a Priest thing, you wouldn't understand.

The TOP FIVE EPISODES, as voted for by YOU, the listeners of Ecumenical  Matters. Lindsay Mitchell and Glenn Hamill take us through the  Contenders we picked throughout the run of the podcast and have been  voted on over two months by the public.
Find out what fans think the best Father Ted episodes are, and let us know if you agree!

Colin  Hassard joins us again to discuss Graham Norton's bow on the show as  the relentless Father Noel Furlong. Father LARRY DUFF! He's tremendous  fun, I'll give him a call. And Dougal's spatial awareness causes concern  ("These cows are very small...")

It's  July 19th, so to celebrate Galway's liberation from India, Jack reminds  the Islanders to go on holidays - unfortunately they run into their own  version of Ugly Naked Guy. Mrs Doyle has been baking with a different  kind of white powder, which sets us talking about caravan holidays in  Bundoran, Subbuteo collections, the curse of Fairy Trees, bonnet slides and an eyewitness account of Hurricane Sandy in New York.

Lifelong Ted fan, Sean Treanor hosts the nightmarish Father Fintan Stack  and his 3am jungle music, but at least he had his fun, and that's all  matters. Jack's hairy hands has him stationed up in 'Jurassic Park', so  Ted and Dougal have to entertain their new cereal-stealing housemate and  Mrs Doyle manages to get her message above the din.

We also talk about sports days, hairy hands, Blaxploitation cinema and Dougal getting drunk!

#FatherTed #CarefulNow  

Streamer Derm McGuigan (#PasticheofSkin) joins us to protest The Passion of St Tibulus in our rundown of this classic episode. Careful now!  

Bishop Brennan is introduced and details the reasons why the priests are  on the island - let us never speak of The Blackrock Incident. Ted and  Dougal enjoy a game of Cluedo and some gifts from the mysterious Father Hernandez, Jack puts his bodily fluids to practical use with the  parish candles, and Mrs Doyle is disgusted by the filth on show down at the local cinema!  

Stray Observations      

• Jim Norton played Bishop Brennan     
• Down With This Sort of Thing. Careful Now!     
• RIP Eamon Casey: Bishop of Galway 
• Board Games: Cluedo     
• Fillum Club: Flatliners, The Crying Game     
• 'Ah Go On' count: 1     
• Dougal's record collection: Magnificent Seven theme    

#CraggyVision #Channel4Comedy #JamesMcAnespy

Lifelong Ted fan Eamonn Turbett joins in the giving things up  competition, or sorry, the sacrifice to Our Lord (Arnold, who's  Arnold?). After Father Dick Byrne lays down the challenge, Ted  volunteers himself, Dougal and Jack to give up their vices, while Mrs  Doyle has a good miserable time on St Patrick's Hill.

Also  in the sermon, we discuss the scourge of airhorns from the 90s, Opus  Dei and their pain-is-the-cleanser ethos, and Pulp Fiction gimps

Gerry Norman of rock band A Plastic Rose and his wife, street artist  Friz (Marian Noone), board a flight with us where everything goes wrong -  what is it with rock stars and planes?

Ted's fear of flying is justified after Dougal is given access to the  cockpit and dooms the plane that they are on. Along with all the other  priests on board, Ted must devise a way to distribute the two parachutes  on board. Jack devises his own way, along with the drinks cart!

We also talk about maverick pilots and their handbrake turns, people's  fake smiles, the influence of The Simpsons on the series and honeymoons  to the Father Ted house! You're making a noise!

I don't believe it! Twenty episodes, so celebrate with actor Glenn  Hamill and Vince! The Islanders take a day trip to the Mainland, despite  Mrs Doyle's misgivings.

Ted and Dougal spot Victor Meldrew from One Foot in the Grave, but learn  very quickly that you should never meet your heroes. A hasty exit sends  them to a sojourn into the Very Dark Caves, where they run into Noel  Furlong. Mrs Doyle argues over a cheque and Jack's eyesight deceives  him.

We discuss the etiquette of Irish fighting, what made Bruce Willis a  miserable scrote and we have a very deep (and controversial) discussion  about the nature of offensive humour

Writers and producers Muireann McGinty and Dee Harvey dream big in the final ever episode of Father Ted!  😢

After talking Tommy Tiernan off a ledge at a priest's convention Ted is  seduced by visions of a glamourous life in America, but can he really  leave Craggy Island and it's inhabitants behind?

The episode takes a reflective tone towards the end, and we discuss  Kevin Spacey's relative anonymity in 1998, the draw of Magic America and  Radiohead: depressing or not?

Improv  artist and actor Marcus Keeley conducts the inquest into the most  crooked raffle in Craggy Island history. Music is in the air, with  Father Finnegan the dancing Priest (RIP) and the Spinmaster Father Billy  O'Dwyer on the decks. Father Austin Purcell's droning drives Jack to  the drink - so we baptise a new feature Jack's Drinking Cabinet, Mrs  Doyle sticks to her principles when it comes to raffles, Dougal spatial  awareness is still a concern when exiting doors and Belfast gets an  official mention!

The  endless Tayto v Tayto debate rears it's head and we marvel at the  crumple zones on mid-90s Rovers. And if we can all stand for our  National Anthem...

#FatherTedPodcast #JamesMcAnespy #FatherJack   It's the last episode of Series 1 of Father Ted so we were buzzing!  Unfortunately, so was the audio (sorry about that).    Jack has briefly exited this mortal coil, which means Ted and Dougal  have to attend to his wake. Mrs Doyle is tickled pink by all these women with their jobs and the mourners lament Jack's missed potential. He  could have been Pope.   Dougal points out the very real distinction between Jaws 2 and Jaws, we harken back at the legendary Italian football players of the 90s (thus  explaining his bedwear), Father Fay climbs up the walls in grief and we  discuss what we would do if we inherited Jack's wealth.

Colin  Hassard, Belfast's premier performance poet, joins us to host the  dripping bore that is Father Stone as Ted makes a deadly deal with God. Wouldn't it have been better if he had been killed?

Dougal has a very limited scope when it comes to wishes, the lethality of lightning strikes are discussed at length - stay away from those crazy golf courses! And we Meet Your Maker as Arthur Matthews makes his excuses  to get away from the party.

Stray Observations

• Ted's Elvis obsession is revealed
• Dougal's natty jumpers: Famous red number
• Michael Redmond is a touring stand up
• Meet your Maker Arthur Mathews makes his escape
• Fillum collection: The Fly

IT'S CHRISTMAS! So naturally it's Golden Cleric time on Craggy Island!

Dirty Words members Colin Hassard and Ashley Manners get trapped with Ted and Dougal in the Largest Lingerie Department in Ireland. Mrs Doyle gets a new, mechanical nemesis and Jack prepares for his own awards.

Actress  Lindsey Mitchell and prodigal son Vince (they all have lovely bottoms)  are on the judging panel for The Lovely Girls. Ted's has the honour of  picking the winner, who will have the honour of paying for dinner for  him. Dougal has to house sit but fiery feminist rock star Niamh Connolly  is in the property market. Jack takes up charity fraud, while Mrs Doyle  shows her competency with power tools. 

Todd Unctious (well, actor Gerard McSorley) has been up to no good again,  and we discuss amateur stress testers, Sinead O'Connor and Delores  O'Riordan's impact on the musical and cultural landscape, and Vince's  on-stage escapades where he leaves his drum kit mid-set! Shoddy  workmanship. Shoddy, shoddy workmanship.

LIVE EPISODE! We broadcast live from the Fenderesky Gallery on Belfast's North Street during Culture Night Belfast 2016 in front of an adorning audience and streamed to Facebook Live. All with the obligatory Craggy Island production values!

After losing the bet to Dick Byrne in the Over 75s Football Challenge in the last episode, Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse to satisfy his forfeit. Dougal is on hand to document the kicking with photographic evidence, while Jack and Mrs Doyle have their own way of dealing with the world's most sarcastic priest.

Another Road Show! This time to Mexico. Well south of the (Ireland/UK)  border in Letterkenny. Ted is embroiled in a high stakes bet with his  hated rival Dick Byrne in the Annual All-Priests 5-a-Side Over 75 Indoor Football Challenge Match.

Dougal's on a career break from being physio, in order to protect the  corner flags. Jack downs a full bottle of Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy  Snooze (banned in most European countries, so you know it's good), while  Mrs Doyle rounds up a firm of fellow football converts for the  terraces.

We also discuss Amazon's toilet roll delivery service, lying in a  confessional and there's a host of expertise offered by self-proclaimed  Bikram Yoga Expert, Sean Treanor.

Actor, writer and improv artist Michael Keane is at the Edinburgh Fringe  Festival, cowering from the menace of the Beast in this terrifying  mystery episode.

Ted's got in over his head, betting the entire heating allowance on  Chris winning the King of the Sheep 1998, but Chris artistic temperament  has been put askew by the howling of the beast. Everything is a bit  askew as Mrs Doyle finally gets to use the sheep tea, Dougal takes up  shoplifting and Jack temporarily feels the serenity of a leap year.

We also delve into running the numbers at weddings, extreme artistic  temperament, Yeats quotes and Tropical Birds in South East London.  Fuckin' 'ell.

Composer and musician Marty Devine serenades us through Craggy Island's melodious tribute to Eurovision. Ted and  Dougal go through some creative differences, but emerge with the classic  My Lovely Horse (well, the lyrics at least). Jack's drinks cabinet has  got a very expensive new addition and Mrs Doyle's brutally honest  critiques would do well on the Judges panel of X Factor.

We  speak about the lasting impact of having a gay couple on TV not doing  anything gay, try to translate Fred Rickwood's gibberish, contemplate World War 4: Celebrity Superfans and LSD Communion.

Dick Byrne is at his conniving best, and we pay tribute to Caroline Ahearne, who had died earlier on the day we were recording.  Marty takes us through some of his songwriting process (Don't play the  f**king first note - the f**king first note is already f**king down!)

In the first episode of Ecumenical Matters The Father Ted Podcast we escort Jack and Dougal to  Funland, where the rides are deadly, Mrs Doyle offers her first cup of  tea so we can start the 'Ah Go On' count, and Ted ditches the lot of  them to hit stardom on Faith of Our Fathers.

We also discuss the majesty that is The Divine Comedy's  theme tune, and we are introduced to the marital bliss of John and Mary  and Tom's murderous confessions.

It's got a Spider Baby!

Stray Observations

• 'Ah Go On' count: 2
• Dougal's record collection: Tina Turner - Simply the Best; Deliverance theme tune
• Dougal's Reality/Dreams diagram looks like the TED Talks logo
• Meet Your Maker: Arthur Mathews is the PA voice, calling out about the child caught in the tunnel of goats.

Donny  Kingston, up and coming stand up on Belfast's comedy circuit, helps  unravel the mystery of the stolen whistle and stave off complete  societal breakdown on Craggy Island. It's just a whistle! 

Dougal's finds a cool new friend in Father Damo (played by Joe Rooney),  and gets to show off his football tekkers. Ted tries to relax on a  picnic site, but unfortunately he runs in to a couple of fupping  baxters. Mrs Doyle is on night duty and Jack displays his ninja skills  with a couple of bottles of Jacob's Creek Chardonnay 1991.

There's  another score in our Meet Your Maker feature, so who is that shows up,  Graham or Arthur? Larry Duff actually answers his phone! It's not good  news though. The Blur/Oasis rivalry gets a sermon (remember Feile 95?  What a line up!), as does Street Fighter 2; bad piercings and Belfast's  murals and checkpoints.

PAT MUSTARD! Comedians Victoria E Armstrong and David Doherty-Jebb commandeer a milk float in this seminal episode. Randy milkman Pat Mustard has been getting Mrs Doyle all hot and  bothered, and Ted doesn't like it. He organises a sting operation and  the fallout has Dougal in charge of the milk run. Unfortunately, Pat has  left a little surprise on it if Dougal's speed goes below 4 mph. Jack  adopts a new pet brick that comes in useful later on. We also talk about Francophones misunderstanding Touts Out graffiti in  Belfast, the virtues and follies of Mrs Brown's Boys (The Greatest  British sitcom of the 21st Century according to Radio Times readers),  ageing ferrets and I officially respond to Graham Linehan's comments on me appearing in Father Ted tribute shows.