DIAL #DAN (Dan Allegretto)

topics: i bought a bunch of crap recently and detail it all (new phone, new couch, new perfume, new deodorant, new anti-snoring mouth guard, even new toilet paper...), an update about my shitty neighbor, an update about toco the dog, wearing a pair of underwear backwards for 36 hours, season one of The Real L Word, the new season of the kardashians, what KRUMP stands for, Bring a Trailer, and simply so much more <3

Very Special Episode.. we talk about Joe's recent journey with lymphoma and everything surrounding that (chemo, hospitals, insurance, parents, new york, new jersey, body hair, balenciaga show rooms, health insurance, downton abbey, greenpoint, asbury park, and everything in between) but we're like.. funny and cool about it lol

follow joe on insta

get your lumps checked out!

topics: every single excruciating detail of my little getaway to connecticut and the hudson valley, climbing a mountain while Fat, getting attacked by a swarm of lady bugs, settlers of cattan, a gourmet sandwicherie, a boutique hotel, being chained by addiction, 28 Days Haunted on netflix, a terrible man at a different boutique hotel, beef tartare with too much cheese, bisexuality, low tire pressure warnings, a panic attack in a lowe's parking lot/klonipin in yonkers, a new List i'm working on, and much much more XOXO

<3

REMINDER: there are WAY MORE episodes on the patreon! (and they're juicier... i'm not saying the free ones are bad or anything but i am less salacious... www.patreon.com/dian_dan <3)

topics: father's day posts, justin timberlake dwi, hamptons autonomous zones, new mourning dove on my fire escape, new couch delivery, debuting a new segment called Questions I Have For Myself, wet hot american summer rewatch, deep dive into the latest groundbreaking episode of the secret of skinwalker ranch, drag race roast, i saw the tv glow, and i answer some of your questions <3

topics: shocked that my fav destiny's child song is a cover, social media break update, explaining poppers to straight guys, sooo much fire island stuff, buying a suit at the outlet mall, leaving a positive review on yelp, the perils of dragging and dropping, setting up Siri, the ultimatum: queer love, couples therapy, polyamory paradoxes, the kardashians, somebody somewhere, randall emmett, summer house, teresa and louie's wedding day, yellowjackets, mind hunter, and sooo much more XOXO

my 100 topic year in review

happy holidays love you all see you next year <3

topics: my new obsession with chris stapleton, an impromptu winter getaway to connecticut and the hudson valley, a hot bartender correctly assuming i had a podcast, beef stew on a chilly night, why gay single dads on tinder owe us an explanation as to how their life got that way..., lana's albums getting better and better, hitting a bird with my car :-(, the pappardelle at gaskin's, trying to figure out who nikki haley is, kanye's metal mouth, the RHOSLC reunion set, have i been cheating at the crossword?, why can't rich ppl just pay the IRS?, is "the mail room" still a job? does anyone know a fab tv/movie agent? and so much more!

topics: what could have been if i didn't podcast, Challengers, quitting twitter again, learning how to clean windows, a brooklyn bar's dubious gofundme, a candle from trader joe's, another bye sister/no more lies revisit, kevin spacey doc, the dark side of sniffies, the wicked trailer, something about her/la sandwicherie comparisons, and i answer some questions <3

topics: moving to a small town in australia, home renovation, our lives in high school, the difference between a dingo and a wallabee, byron baes, the queen of versailles reboot, the RHOA trailer, RHOC tea (are emily and gina teaming up to play shannon??) the will smith Slap, inside amy schumer, the interworking of being gay annoying podcasters, summer house, heidi montag versus lady gaga, and prolly mad other shit <3

XOXO

topics: power strip myths, fast casual macaroni, sample sales, the current state of dimes square fashion, how the devil gets in corners, p. diddy's arrest, Freak Offs, demi lovato's Child Star "doc", jojo siwa's snapchat addiction, ryan's world youtube, a sneak peak of my year end list, and so much more you would not believe <3

topics: my 2024 predictions list (major), figuring out what a "straw man argument" is, kathy griffin getting divorced (random), that moment in like 2017 when generic gays discovered laura dern, my new fav affordable cream moisturizer (korean), dumpy the white australian tree frog, do people in berlin speak german?, a 3 year old ordering an oat milk hot chocolate, why everyone is actually drawn to gyspy rose blanchard (they all resent their mother for just being born), and why having a shitty small tv actually is the vibe...

happy new year please tell a friend about the pod :-) XOXO

i forget what we talked about i think bird ownership and kanye and julia fox mostly lol

topics: Billy Porter being fake and random, BeReal, the movie Closet Monster, Canadians, did Chad Michael Murray have giant nipples?, Irma Vep, Stitched, Project Runway Junior, The unXplained with William Shatner, Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe, a myriad of Netflix comedy specials, toddler clothing having great proportions for fat guys, a deeeeep dive into Machine Gun Kelly's new Hulu doc, (is MGK the synthesis of Jeffree Star and Olivia Rodrigo?), some obligatory Post Malone stuff, etc

also: i answer 25+ questions about tv and movies from you all who submitted...

XOXO

editor's note: multiple times during this episode i make reference to the year being 2021 when in fact it's the year 2022 lmao

topics: Billy Porter being fake and random, BeReal, the movie Closet Monster, Canadians, did Chad Michael Murray have giant nipples?, Irma Vep, Stitched, Project Runway Junior, The unXplained with William Shatner, Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe, a myriad of Netflix comedy specials, toddler clothing having great proportions for fat guys, a deeeeep dive into Machine Gun Kelly's new Hulu doc, (is MGK the synthesis of Jeffree Star and Olivia Rodrigo?), some obligatory Post Malone stuff, etc

also: i answer 25+ questions about tv and movies from you all who submitted...

XOXO

editor's note: multiple times during this episode i make reference to the year being 2021 when in fact it's the year 2022 lmao

TOPICS: a voice mail from lena dunham and alissa bennett, my plan to teach at yale university, an absolute d e e p dive into scandoval, diet squirt, spring has sprung, the bench, another random experience at la sandwicherie, diced onions v. long, male chaperones, steps per day, matching on raya with a gay who just unsubscribed from the pod yesterday, using a brand new ATM, social media cleanse update, insta v. twitter, screenplay update, missing: dead or alive, "watch it again" on netflix, letterboxd, anna nicole smith, dentistry, selling sunset, and sooo much more!

XOXO

topics: world music fall winter barreling on, why the health app should track how long you stand up for, the new yorker caption contest, the james charles x HRH collab, has the function of the drive thru fundamentally changed?, why can't you park in front of a church?, latest episode of southern charm popping TF off, tin foil hats, honestly how do veterinarians diagnose animals with anything?, are there factory farms for ducks?, why does no one pull their hamstring anymore?, wishing my credit card was sparkly and covered in glitter, trying to spell the word "ventriloquy", how annoying it is that the term "NPC" got normalized so quickly, and sooo much more!

we discuss: "NFT Week" parties in new york, the vanderpump rules slapping scandal, the zayn and yolanda slapping scandal, the trial of erika jayne, raquel's botched nose job, the curious case of delilah belle, and i catch nomes up to speed on Winter House

to celebrate the two year anniversary of my special little podcast, i had my first ever guest back on :)

topics? women, men, reality tv, art.. what else is there to talk about?

cheers to two more years <3<3<3

• insurrection in brazil
• prince harry and meghan press tour
• no speaker of the house for a minute
• gossip girl canceled after two seasons
• gas stoves become illegal in new york
• andrew tate arrested
• ice spice
• the last of us
• skinamarink
• brett easton ellis “the shards”
• madonna announces tour
• frankie grande turns 40
• milf manor
• indie sleaze
• real friends of weho
• final season of succession
• gawker gets canned again
• chinese spy balloon
• ny mag etiquette list
• rihanna superbowl
• hannah gatsby curating picasso show at brooklyn museum
• sam smith ft. kim petras “unholy”
• penn badgley won’t film sex scenes anymore
• diplo admits to getting head from a dude
• ufos everywhere

The Group Chat is back and we've taken to the microphone..

topics: international women's day, traveling to LA, traveling to israel, The Last Party, going from zero cats to two cats, car stuff, meeting julian casablancas, cheesecake factory age segregation (maybe for a second time on the pod?). and so much more!

we pop a bottle of lady gaga x dom perignon sent in by a beautiful listener to kick off the evening

other topics: some recent dark nights of the soul, what we're giving up for lent, eczema outbreaks, hashimoto's syndrome, summer house, jack and lana dating, the first and only wet dream i've ever had, south africa, the best cardio videos for fat ppl on youtube, wearing all black to be fashionable, adults adopting adults, and much more!

adele's new album, p!nk's 20th anniversary, britney v. christina, real housewives ultimate girls trip, tons of other housewives stuff, drinking after being sober for a while, monetizing facebook, and A LOT of fast food talk <3

topics: walking down the boulevard of broken dreams, upcoming t-shirt and hat drop, the snow owl in greenpoint, leptospirosis outbreak in williamsburg aka RAT FEVER, season 2 of Cheer, yellowjackets finale, and my favorite automotive design youtube channel

OH! but that's not it...................................

i answer all of the voicemails and written questions too

we find the connection between ancient death cults, the pop girls of the moment, extra terrestrial life, and caitlyn jenner's run for governor

follow M's insta for more from her

topics: turning resolutions into desire statements, quitting smoking update, congestion pricing, ancestry dot com, real housewives of potomac, bryan johnson netflix doc, selling the city, woah vicky fake kidnapping in nigeria, mixing pb and j together before spreading, and men being vilified for accentuating their features via facial hair...

i hop back in the booth to excruciatingly detail every day of my LA trip; lovers of minutiae will rejoice <3

my favorite Downtown New York Ladies are back! :-)

we discuss: quitting social media, owning an exotic bird as a pet, FASHION! (d&g suing diet prada, alexander wang's whoopsies, etc), the sublime beauty of Veneno, the future of print media, Dimes Square Layabouts, the hard facts of getting a television show produced, and, by the way, did ella emhoff steal natasha's look?????

all this and more...

it's that time of year again!

i made a very lengthy list of 150 things that happened this year and lara helps me get thru the first 50

enjoy XO

topics: being taunted by lemonade stand little girls, toddlers with outfits more expensive than mine, double rainbow facts, billie eilish still dressing like lil jon (without the east side boyz), rehashing the shame of drinking cheap beer in the early aughts, staircase railing etiquette, the actual reason following hot ppl makes you dumb, the new drag race term invented by twinks "package", britney's Blackout album, and i answer quite frankly a couple handfuls of questions <3

topics: the other night that i met norah jones and didn't know it was her, the sheep and wool festival in rhinebeck, the harp, what joanna newsom is up to, mariah carey's unparalleled genius, blaire white, skinwalker ranch, clara and mauricio (the peruvian alien bods), the worst insta comment i've ever seen, the msg sphere, Charmed, the rhony reunion, fav britney song, is planet earth hell in disguise?, what are we reading? does irish spring soap deter mosquitos?, and eric reads my tarot and it really isn't cool or looking good for me <3<3<3

topics: is eating lamb on easter sunday a new thing?, the total eclipse, rochester ny, cowboy carter, jojo siwa's new single, meeting two listeners in one night, why mustard is rare in nyc, the origins of the term "plastic surgery", why is logging dangerous?, rewatching Personal Shopper for the fifth time, and i answer all of your questions pertaining to-- hotels, cars, summer house, paglia v. dunham, spring fashion, and so much more <3

• megan fox machine gun kelly splitsville?
• ohio train derailment then a bunch more train derailments
• new york times transphobia manifesto
• alligator in prospect park lake
• steak egg cheese bagel back at mcdonald’s
• meghan trainor “mother”
• scandoval
• the idol
• twitter called X now
• some banks went out of business or ran out of money?
• law roach “retires”
• gwyneth paltrow goes to court for skiing accident
• jewel sings national anthem at indy 500
• peter thiel’s boyfriend dies “while taking a selfie”
• vibes are off at coachella
• the show “jury duty”
• tucker carlson fired
• absolutely nothing to remark on about the met gala
• writers guild strike
• martha stewart sports illustrated swimsuit edition
• dylan mulvaney bud light
• vanderpump reunion
• the ultimatum: queer love
• new season of couples therapy
• padam padam

Thank You to all who have supported me on this journey so far lol

we cover a lot and it honestly seems undignified to even try to quantify tbh

here's to another year

topics: an addendum and fake apology regarding my comments about trans youth last episode, jenna lyons misgendering a prominent stylist on WWHL and no one clocking it, nyc parks department shutting down the alcoholic production assistant Marathon in mcgolrick park, the 1995 brady bunch movie, live reaction to "eusexua", challengers oscars snub, wendy williams's breakfast club interview, and much more minutia to tie it all together <3

live from new york it's sunday night! heather and i are recording in person from the greatest city in the world

topics: new york vs los angeles (this goes on for a while), the tenement museum (this shit is in different areas), bacon hitting differently (awesomesauce), my doppleganger potentially ruining her living situation (it wasn't me), strange moments at the thanksgiving day parade (kim petras, Journey), people asking me to send them a hat (don't), understanding every side of an argument (NAMBLA?), who has it worse, Gays or Women? (women), and the billboard top ten artists of all time (where is tom petty, man??)

we answer all your burning calls and emails

featuring very special voicemails from: cara cunningham, alissa bennett, hari nef, louie glaser, jamie simone, sam denlinger, broti gupta & dylan gelula, and LENA DUNHAM

what a fucking night!

here's to 100 more xoxo

HNY everyone!

Miss Abby back in the house :-)

we talk about: the new year, the Two Cup Method, sober january, marianne williamson, self help books, chaos magic, and more

we are very vulnerable in this episode i think? it's only like the second episode i've ever recorded Sober lol

anyways

XOXO i hope you all get what you want this year...

topics: dia beacon, the homeless guy on my block who will kill me within the year, drag race season 10, tiktok ban, carrie underwood, zyns, book recs, courtney love, fav breakfast, lunch, and dinner in nyc, is gay monogamy possible?, a bunch of car stuff, and i answer perhaps too many questions <3

topics: giving up fast food for lent, poppi soda, some cray jLo tea, balling out on white barn/bath and body works candles, pushy sephora employees making me crumble, woodpeckers, my car getting recalled, life without zoloft, the zone of interest, running into a gorgeous fan, and much more <3 

topics: (not) saving a bloody cat on the street, a lifeguard on the phone while someone was drowning, the interior space of a midsize volvo suv vs. my compact honda crossover, should you bring a coffee table book to the beach?, my perfect day with heather juju, the best italian restaurant in south brooklyn, LGBT Roundup (ilana glazer being non binary, chappell roan being an actual lesbian (?), the james charles nudes leak), gena rowland, alain delon (hadn't heard of him; reminded me of when that japanese composer died and everyone glommed onto him), my viral burrito..., joining X premium, and i answer a bunch of questions <3

topics: questions about australia (do they have thanksgiving? their own burning man? comedians?), southern charm tea from a listener, the chris appleton lukas gage divorce, thoughts on the peruvian alien bods, thoughts on k-pop, my freaky friday sequel idea, celebrity big brother UK, "slade" from gay twitter going to jail for kiddie porn, real housewives of miami, cassie v. diddy, snoop dogg quitting weed, selling sunset, and so much more you know me and jacques go crazy <3

topics: CDG original, my gay guy podcast tour, unpacking the VMAs at a great length (this takes up a quarter of the episode), delta werk's relationship to fast food, southern charm, carl and lindsay's engagement, minetta tavern, my subway sandwich order, shrimp tails, microplastics, Under The Skin, Room, Blair Witch (2016), Orphan First Kill, selling the OC, trixie motel, realizing my CDG Original is defective lol, and obviously a ton of personal anecdotes in between <3

XOXO

topics: merch update, my upcoming LA trip, trying to figure out what's going on in our skies lately, extensive grammy's red carpet and award show recap, lady gaga's Abracadabra, leather LL bean boat and totes, a long island italian feast, instagram gripes, and a review of american sports story: aaron hernandez

if you look up the definition of Vibe in the dictionary you see a picture of the three of us

lol but for real.....

some of the Hot Topics are:

origin stories, our dating lives, chris's starbucks disorder, real housewives of salt lake city (and melbourne), onlyfans, and sia's new upcoming movie MUSIC

and so much more..

what a fun ass night thank u all for listening XOXO

topics: my new recording booth, gay guys changing their names after marriage, Speed 2, meghan markle netflix show, denise richards and her wild things, the rigged witch hunt of stacey on RHOP, proudly denying a raya referral, going defcon 3 on washable rugs, and of course so much more in between

topics: mixing hummus into vodka sauce, being street style photographed unbeknownst, the bullshit "why do rich people love quiet" Atlantic article i can't escape, but mostly i answer your Questions regarding: dating a man in prison, Anora, how to get your groove back, fav gaga era, formative television and movies, best cars for lesbians, single parenting, and truly so much more i honestly love you guys....... <3

topics: christmas day social media etiquette, total exposé of my first time at nordstrom grill, the new season of queer eye, a list of men twitter forces me to think is hot, beyoncé's half time show, and i answer so many questions (cars, books, pods, music, real estate)

topics: the new gossip girl, my quite frankly hilarious story of meeting penn badgely in LA, erika jayne jokes, recap of this week's drag race maxi challenge, and the sex crimes of bill from the lifetime show 'marrying millions'

topics: obviously so much yapping about fashion red carpets from the days of yore and present, online shopping, the today show, oprah, mary hart, jojo siwa, bradley cooper, jared leto, interior style, kidney transplants, quitting smoking, and that's just the tip of the iceberg...

she's back!

legend of the pod/fan favorite Alissa and i discuss helen keller and titanic conspiracies (i'll give you a hint- only one of them was real)

we talk about other crap too like celebrity artifacts, 9/11, childhood trauma, you know- The Usual

XOXO

topics: being back on twitter after a 5 year hiatus, heidi klum worm costume, MIA and candace owens, new rihanna, UFO encounters, bigfoot, skinwalker ranch, poltergeists, shane dawson and jeffree star, and prolly some normal shit in between <3<3<3

my hometown hero from Elmira NY, KNOXX is on the pod! catch her on season 2 of HBO's The Hype!

we talk about: the ins and outs of being gay in a flop rustbelt town, tommy hilfiger, schoolscum.com, the local mall, Danny G's, Rich Girls on MTV, some behind the scenes tea of The Hype (what is marnie's deal? what is bephie's deal? what is offset's deal?, the truth about Vell's departure, etc), YZY SZN 9, the torture of body-con, sam smith 'Unholy', beyoncé's latest album, beychella, and so much more <3

check out her fashion!

XOXO

celebrity sponsorships, being a maid during the pandemme, the inauguration, spoken word performances, pistachio lattes, vanessa carlton's apartment, kate hudson's husbands, and sooo much more

SUBSCRIBE TO CELEBRITY BOOK CLUB

haven't posted a long one like this in q u i t e awhile!

i figured there's no point in even trying to edit it down

according to alex i got thru to him in a way no one else has in years...

as an ex-media Provocateur he mingled with celebs and had an idea how he wanted his life to turn out

now things are Different..

especially after coming on my Podcast and me showing him the Light

lol jk

but actually...

topics: 12 straight days of no sun, debuting some new soundboardts, low impact cardio youtube routines, how do you ask for more ice in a latte?, blissing out in a swamp, SSRI withdrawals, returning to twitter after a year, getting banned from twitter almost immediately, lukas gage name searching and finding my twitter, the absolute c o m p l e t e grammy's coverage, The Sphere, a comprehensive guide of my beef with a wall street journalist reporter; along with a major update, my first time at "ludlow house", the movie Karen, and much much much more...

topics: there are no topics... i answer 20 questions on the themes of love, career, jealousy, fast food, reality television, dentistry, crystals, high stakes social events, office jobs, defunct gay twitter slang; you prolly know the vibe etc

topics: halloween in rural greenpoint, azealia banks quote tweeting me, my presidential orders, outdoor dining sheds disappearing, winning the new yorker film fest sweepstakes, my latest focus group opportunities, body wash spilling in my car, chrome hearts suing HRH, channing tatum and zoe kravitz splitsville, spell check not working anymore, exploring how stupid gays have become on twitter, voting early, chappel roan again, laga's Disease video, a new segment called Rapid Movie Reviews, i answer some questions for myself, then i answer all your questions <3

topics: gays brawling in my patreon comments, a very handsome stranger who was so cruel to me, the coaster over drink seat saving protocol, the new season of drag race, monica beverly hill's original song "not a soul can clock", i facetime with america's sweetheart Cara Cunningham while she's out on the town, thinking a grapefruit was a giant orange, should i start watching Mad Men? do macs get viruses? can i unfollow frankie sharp? can i unfollow amy from gallery girls? the time i hosted Westgay in 2013, instagram notifications not working properly for years, when will fat gay guys start doing closet sales for the love of god??? why encre noire has to be my perfume for eternity, new season of The Traitors, and i guide us out with a beautiful Kenny G song <3

we're startin'!

we discuss:

the woman who shit herself and threw up on herself at SUR

reality shows: below deck sailing yacht, joseline's cabaret, alone, love after lockup, marrying millions, etc

the yulin dog meat festival (let people have some fun...)

"the gay cold"

and honestly sooo much more lol

oh and there was a literal earth quake in LA as we were recording..... Vibe

• transgender day of awareness on easter sunday
• aaron bushnell self immolates
• flaco the owl RIP
• migrant crisis
• emma stone best actress for poor things
• rolling stone JVN exposé
• dylan mulvaney “days of girlhood” music video
• kate middleton “goes missing” ends up having cancer
• christine quinn’s husband arrested for domestic violence
• “the valley” premiers
• feds raid diddy’s house
• cowboy carter
• solar eclipse
• earthquake in new york
• OJ simpson RIP…
• lanachella
• another taylor swift album
• nymphia wind wins drag race
• dance moms reunion
• five year anniversary of “bye sister” and “no more lies”
• jojo siwa gets drunk and punched in the face at disney land
• president of iran dies in helicopter crash
• nyc <—> dublin portal
• challengers
• “something about her” finally opens

special little mini episode!!!

topics: my final meal at gaskin's, a roadside motel stay, a fitted sheet ripping, locking myself in a bathroom, changing the name of my pod?, looking for scarf recommendations, the nyc and nj wildfires, still getting reamed by the IRS, the chicken big mac, the docuseries Social Studies, and much more <3

He is Risen, biotch!

so happy to have antonio back after months without him

topics: an update about our podcast, election chat, LA stuff, tons and tons of real housewives crap, i think you know the vibe by now <3