DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better (ABCG Studios)

“$60 million on quiche?!”

The panel of peril complete their naked tai chi session, have a quick wash around the key areas, and watch this week’s film Die Hard 2 (Renny Harlin, 1990).

How can the same stuff happen to the same panel two years in a row? John McClane (Bruce Willis) just wants a quiet Christmas with his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), but a bunch of criminal types have other ideas. Led by Thornberg (William Atherton), a group of mercs seek to rescue General Esperanza (Franco Nero) during the course of his extradition flight, after which he is due to stand trial. Can our comfy jumper-wearing hero save the day again?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvHp7xJZ4_U

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Little do McClane and the crew know that Esperanza also has Major Grant (John Amos) and an elite US Army squadron onside, aiding his escape. Once that first flight is grounded, they’re getting on another flight – destination? Paradise, baby. Paradise. With the odds stacked against him, this is surely the end of the top gun cop. Yes siree, no more sequels for McClane, sadly ;)

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Sound Effect by Kamil Kopowski from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Julius H. from Pixabay

Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

“Physics should prevent that popcorn from staying in his mouth”

The panel of peril hole up in deserted, isolated cottage in the dead of night, put their sausages away (meaning intestines, you dirty sods), and stick the box on to watch England vs Germany… I mean Dog Soldiers (Neil Marshall, 2002).

A small group of soldiers, led by Cooper (Kevin McKidd) and Wells (Sean Pertwee), are sent on a training exercise in the Scottish Highlands, but are caught unawares by the appearance of a hard-ass commanding officer Ryan (Liam Cunningham). Something has happened to him, under the light of the full moon, that will change the collective’s lives forever.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr3JBedQEjQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The thing that changes their lives, I’m just going to say it, is werewolves. Yep, werewolves are real folks, and they’re a family. When the gang accidentally hole up in their cottage to wait the night out, we’re dealing with a Goldilocks style situation, except there’s werewolves instead of bears and soldiers with guns instead of little girls. But what does Ryan want to do with these wolves, I wonder?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by MAXOU-YT from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“They must have sent a camel turd into space and frozen it, surely?”

The panel of peril ride frantically across a field on horseback throwing a blu ray from rider to rider. A final desperate lunge sees them insert it into a player in order to watch this week’s film Zack Snyder’s Justice League (Zack Snyder, 2021).

Batman (Ben Affleck), Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), Aquaman (Jason Momoa), Cyborg (Ray Fisher), Superman (Henry Cavill) and Flash (Ezra Miller) are forced into an uneasy alliance when a mysterious invader named Steppenwolf (Ciaran Hinds) arrives on Earth. His intentions prove somewhat less than peaceful though, and he rampages across the globe seeking three mysterious motherboxes. Can the League prevent an Apokoliptic ending?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui37YKQ9AC4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Steppenwolf is merely the underling attempting to please an even bigger bad in the form of Darkseid (Ray Porter). He seeks the boxes and yet another mysterious artefact in order to calm Darkseid’s anger and earn the right to return to his home planet. Sad to say, it will result in the complete destruction of Earth – our only hope lies with DC’s rag tag group of superheroes. Fingers crossed.

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Aa comparison point, view the trailer for the theatrical cut here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9-DM9uBtVI

“A heavy rain of chow mein”

Does busting, as the old saying goes, make you feel good? The panel of peril are here to answer this question and much more besides as they take on this week’s film, Ghostbusters (Ivan Reitman, 1984).

Peter (Bill Murray), Ray (Dan Aykroyd) and Egon (Harold Ramis) are three down on their luck university researchers of the paranormal. Just as all manner of ghostly activities begins to kick off, they get canned from their residency at Columbia! When life gives you lemons you gotta set up a business to capture ghosts to earn a bit of bunce. But just why is New York being overrun with ghouls, ghosts, spirits and goblins?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hDkhw5Wkas

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

It might have something to do with the return of demi-god Gozer the Gozerian (Slavitza Joven), hellbent on the destruction of mankind. In fact it does. That’s the reason. Joined by Winston (Ernie Hudson) and special clients Dana (Sigourney Weaver) and Louis (Rick Moranis), they face the fight of their lives in the form of the destructor: the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon a demi-god’s destructive plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music: Vintage Movie - Pixabay

Music: Spooky And Funny - Pixabay

“Ya been cream pied”

The panel of peril are out shooting some hoops, only stopping to berate their teammates for their lack of reflexes and general playing skill. Giving up they retire to the indoor communal area to watch this week’s film One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (Milos Forman, 1975).

McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) is a ne’er-do-well with a cunning scheme to serve out the remainder of his prison sentence in a mental health institution. Once safely ensconced in his new abode, McMurphy becomes chummy with his fellow patients: Billy (Brad Dourif), Cheswick (Sydney Lassick), Chief (Will Sampson) and aaaaalll the rest. But his plan for the easy life and swift release soon hits a roadblock in the form of Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXrcDonY-B8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Ratched is a bit of an ol’ passive aggressive, control freak sort, you see. The majority of her patients are voluntary, yet she rules over them with an iron fist – controlling every aspect of their daily routines, and by extension their lives. Can McMurphy escape the confines of his prison by a different name, or does the good nurse have his number?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the evil scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“He's not rump; he's tripe”

The panel of peril finish inspecting the last of the cow’s udders on the farm they’re working on and head home to watch this week’s film Napoleon Dynamite (Jared Hess, 2004).

Napoleon (Jon Heder) is a typical teen: he lives with his Grandma (Sandy Martin), brother Kip (Aaron Ruell), and an alpaca named Tina. He enjoys doing sweet jumps on bikes, sketching mythical creatures of his own creation, and catching delicious bass’ for romantic targets. But when Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) moves in, it really puts the liger amongst the pigeons.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHDi_AnqwN4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Old Rico isn’t a massive fan of Napoleon. He mocks him to his face, and throws a steak in his face… probably also makes fun of his face off screen. He’s also stuck in the past and desperate to make moolah by any means necessary, whether that be by selling shoddy Tupperware, herbal enhancers, or simply investing in the nascent science of time travel.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Rico’s cash grabbing scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Peluca: the original Napoleon Dynamite short film can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SeTfcj3UKI

Finally! PORTABLE chopsticks: https://zenminded.uk/products/snow-peak-wabuki-chopsticks-large

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“He's a digital Deliveroo driver”

The Panel of Peril are well used to jacking a load of information into the old grey matter. Therefore, this week’s task shall pose them no problem – yes, it’s Johnny Mnemonic (Robert Longo, 1995).

The year 2021: the NAS epidemic sweeps the world, and our Johnny (Keanu Reeves) is a sought-after data courier, smuggling illicit information across borders and shielding it against the shady corporations who seek to abuse it. But when he overloads his memory capacity he faces a race against time to extract the info and escape the Yakuza, headed by the legendary Takeshi Kitano, and a blasphemous hitman named Preacher (Dolph Lundgren). What secrets is Johnny storing to send such fire power after him?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJY_BZ55sI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The cure for deadly NAS is buried in Johnny’s noodle, and the corpos want to keep the population under their thumb – as per our own world. Fortunately, Johnny has powerful allies in Jane (Dina Meyer), J-Bone (Ice-T), and a tricked-out dolphin with all the latest gadgets. Wow! Will they release the cure and change the world, or will Johnny lose his head?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“Your eardrums are going to be sh!tting themselves”

The panel of peril take a well-earned break from romancing a wealthy old dear, in order to be gifted a large cheque, naturally, and relax by watching this week’s film The Producers (Mel Brooks, 1967).

Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) is a producer of the stage whose glory days are far behind him. His rent is in arrears and his main source of income comes from swindling wealthy old ladies of their savings. That is until child-like accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) discovers that they could make more money producing a flop than a hit. Will they be successful in creating the worst show of the season?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTW2ZSjG5N0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Selecting a show written by “former” Nazi Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars) named Springtime For Hitler, Max and Leo are confident the show will flop. Little do they know that director and star will conspire to turn the show into a camp comedy that the audience warms to surprisingly quickly. Is this the end of our venerable scoundrels hopes of absconding to Rio?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Music by Sergei Chetvertnykh from Pixabay

Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay

Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay

Music by Yevhen Onoychenko from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by Alban_Gogh from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Shiden Beats Music from Pixabay

Music by Julius H. from Pixabay

Music by Broadway Walk from Pixabay

“I like how horny Hercules is”

The panel of peril return home from a voyage across the seven seas, wearied by battle against foes both human and… inhuman – skeletons and wotnot. Just after putting a big wash on for all their travel clothes, they settle in to watch this week’s film Jason And The Argonauts (Don Chaffey, 1963).

Jason (Todd Armstrong) and his merry band of Argonauts are sent on a perilous expedition to find the mythical golden fleece by his baddie uncle Pelias (Douglas Wilmer), who also sends his wrongun son, Acastus (Gary Raymond) along for the ride as a failsafe make sure Jason comes a cropper.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCGiU98vFq0

Yelling “Jason!” in Heavy Rain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYQDnV092hI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Acastus is a bit of a rotten egg. He tries to stab Jason and has to get in the sea when he fails. Later he grasses up Jason to the king of fleece island, but then gets bitten to death by the hydra. After briefly engaging the skellington children of the vanquished hydra, Jason outwits them by getting in the sea and then makes whoopee with the lady and gets the fleece all messy.

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay

Sound Effect by SoundReality from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps”

The panel of peril open a container of half and half, give it a sniff, then settle in to watch Joel and Ethan Coen’s The Big Lebowski. Afterwards they plan on lighting fire to a big old doobie and inhaling the smoke before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

The Big Lebowski (1998) finds The Dude (Jeff Bridges) being enlisted as investigator into the kidnapping plot of Bunny Lebowski, trophy wife of his rich namesake Jeffrey Lebowski. A madcap plot involving The Dude’s bowling team friends Walter (John Goodman), Donny (Steve Buscemi), The Jesus (John Turturro), a group of nihilists and their ferret, and many, many more! Can The Dude get to the bottom of mystery?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd-go0oBF4Y

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

As The Dude digs deeper and deeper into the mystery of the missing Bunny, several suspects present themselves: the nihilists, porn film director Jackie Treehorn, Bunny herself and finally the titular Big Lebowski. Who is to blame for this most underhanded/confusing of situations? Find out in the pod (I already know, we recorded it aaaaaages ago).

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“Drink blood out of Gandhi’s head”

The panel of peril awaken to find that the pilots of their small prop plane have left them in the lurch, hop in a rapid inflating dinghy, and glide to the safety of a tumultuous river, landing in a small Indian village just in time to watch this week’s film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)!

Uncannily, this exact series of events also befalls Indy (Harrison Ford), Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) and Shortround (Ke Huy Quan) as they are drawn into the Indian locals’ search for the children and mystical shankara stones that are missing from their village. Indy and the gang are on a mission to find them all even if this conspiracy goes to very high places.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOwWfns4qqw

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Steven Spielberg’s prequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark sees our intrepid archaeologist on the hunt for the most valuable resource of all: coal children. His investigation sees him consult with the Maharajah and Prime Minister who, unbeknownst to Indy, are using the missing children as slave labour to hunt down the last of the shankara stones. Will Dr. Jones and the gang uncover the secret temple below Pankot Palace, and then the mine with kids mining, and then recover the stones, and then escape with their lives? Probably.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by NickyPe from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Barbara Streisand, Carrie Fisher & Irvin Kershner visit The Temple of Doom set: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9tYZBLX2lA

“Talladega Nights gets a lot better after you've seen Rise of Skywalker, that's for sure”

The Panel of Peril run and gun all your favourite film and video games characters in one fluid motion, before removing their VR headset in order to watch this week’s film. That film is Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg, 2018), and they are joined by Kevin and Jason from KJ & A Podcast!

Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) is just like most people in the year 2045; he gets through the day any way he can before escaping to the virtual reality of the OASIS to enact his fantasies. But when the now-deceased VR creator Halliday (Mark Rylance) challenges the players to find his hidden easter egg, and gain control of the OASIS, the virtual race is on – and it will be fought to the literal death.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSp1dM2Vj48

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Nicolas Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn) plans to find the egg for his own nefarious ends. He will monetise the OASIS, restricting access for those on the lowest incomes, thereby turning a dream playground into a corporate nightmare. Starring the likes of (friend of the pod) Batman, Chun Li, Chucky and Mecha Godzilla, RP1 is certainly a film with lots of stuff to point at when you spot it.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Sorrento’s OASIS-hijacking plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Yippie ki yay, mother pucker”

The panel of peril successfully extinguish a housefire, with absolutely NO casualties, thereby proving themselves better than the lead of this week’s film. That star is Jean Claude Van Damme, that film is Sudden Death (Peter Hyams, 1995), and our guest at this time is the Editor of Empire Magazine and author of The Last Action Heroes, Nick De Semlyen.

Darren McCord (JCVD) is a disgraced (?) former firefighter getting by working at his local ice hockey stadium as a safety marshall. Treating his kids to tickets to the Stanley Cup finals proves to be quite the error, though, as Joshua Foss (Powers Boothe) and his goons invade the stadium and take the visiting Vice President of the United States (Raymond J. Barry) hostage! What does Foss want, and can our high-kicking hero stop him before the final whistle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyq2TbL1OG8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Foss wants money, of course! A lot of money from a lot of banks, to be diverted into a lot more other banks at the close of each third of the game! If his demands aren’t met, come full-time, the arena will be blown to smithereens. Unless our Belgian/French Canadian hero can defuse the bombs, defeat a penguin mascot in fisticuffs, rescue the kids, and save the VP.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic soupcon? Could they find a way to improve Foss’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“Oooooh, dinosaurs!”

The panel of peril slow their day glo off road vehicle first to a crawl, then to a stop before removing their sunglasses and staring in awe at this week’s film, Jurassic Park (Steven Spielberg, 1993).

John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) has created the unthinkable, a park populated by long extinct dinosaurs, and invited several experts along before the grand opening. Alan Grant (Sam Neill), Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern), Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldlum) et al. arrive to see what the fuss is all about and find that Hammond has spared no expense. Dinos, ice cream, electric fences… it’s got the lot, but will the park run smoothly come opening? (no)

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWBKEmWWL38

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

There’s a fly in the DNA ointment by the name of Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight) wouldn’t you know? He’ll do whatever it takes to hand off a can full of dinosaur embryos to a rival company, even if it means sabotaging Jurassic Park to do so. It is, quite frankly, a health and safety NIGHTMARE.

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Placidplace from Pixabay

TED Talk on perception and The Grand Illusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Il_D3Xt9W0

“The teeth in the opening segment look very good for a 1970s teeth”

The panel of peril apply their collective lippy, pull on some fishnets, pour a load of food colouring (or something) into a bath and somehow create human (?) life! After which they relax by watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

This week’s film was released in 1975 and sees engaged, virginal, squares Brad (Barry Bostwick) and Janet (Susan Sarandon) suffer a car malfunction one drive that sees them having to spend the night at a creepy castle in the middle of nowhere. Populated by a colourful cast of characters including Dr. Frank N Furter (the incomparable Tim Curry), Riff Raff (Richard O’Brien), Magenta (Patricia Quinn) and the titular Rocky (Peter Hinwood), will the paramours make it to the morning – and at what cost?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4plqh6obZW4

Every 20th Century Fox Fanfare Variation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqMokB1lZYE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Dr. Frank N Furter is a creature of excess, but at heart they just want to be loved. So much so that Frank is willing to create the perfect lover/companion to satisfy their every need. But will Brad and Janet discover Frank’s diabolical plot, or will they themselves be seduced by the devilishly handsome Doctor? Maybe both, who knows?! (I know)

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

TIME WARP!

Original version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umj0gu5nEGs

Damian cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gti_D7jx7cM

Glee cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9VJqA_t8LQ

Tenacious D cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aZPJBjutY0

“Not the worst thing Christopher Cain has produced”

The Panel of Peril are rootin’. They’re also prone to a little bit of tootin’. Put ‘em together, and we got ourselves a rootin’ tootin’ good time as we watch this week’s film, Young Guns (Christopher Cain, 1988).

Loosely based on the adventures of Billy The Kid (Emilio Estevez) - and featuring fellow Brat Pack alumni Charlie Sheen, Lou Diamond Phillips and Kiefer Sutherland - the boys, and father figure John Tunstall (Terence Stamp) try to prevent the stealing of their bovine property by beef baron Murphy (Jack Palance) roots and toots along to stir up trouble.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLGhrmntLqU

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

That’s right: he whacks him all the way off (this mortal coil). The guns of youth don't like it and vow revenge, becoming Deputies. Which eventually leads to a final shootout, holed up in their lawyer’s house. Or such like. Heeeeeh doggy, it’s a rootin’ tootin’ good time, ya hear?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve Murphy’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“Here comes Chekov’s sack!”

The panel of peril scrub themselves down with a wire brush and bleach having already watched this week’s film, Audition (Takashi Miike, 1999).

Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) is a single parent with his own, successful, film production company. He is also extremely lonely. Knowing this, his friend Yasuhisa arranges for a film audition to double as an interview process for a romantic partner for Shigeharu, unbeknownst to the women. Or is it? Taking a shine to Asami Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina), the widower may get more than he bargained for after a brief getting to know you period. Oh my, yes.

Watch the (spoilerific) trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBQHp2__AVQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

She’s insane guys. She’s absolutely insane. Asami enjoys nothing more than paralysing men with poison, before dissecting them slowly for her own amusement. Seriously, do not watch this one if you are averse to explicit gore. How can Shigeharu possibly escape the clutches of Asami once tangled in her web?

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Music from Electronic Rock (King Around Here) - Pixabay

“Liberty X Marks The Spot”

The panel of peril park their Lexus, remove their string back leather gloves (worn for that bit of extra purchase) and settle down on the banquette to watch this week’s film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (Declan Lowney, 2013).

When world famous local radio DJ Alan Partridge’s (Steve Coogan) radio station is taken over by a media conglomerate it sets in motion a chain of events which has Alan working with the rozzers to try to defuse a potentially violent siege. That siege being the work of disgruntled, ex-radio host Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney). What a ruddy palaver!

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u56d3sLReuA

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Initially acting as hostage negotiator, Alan’s fortunes takes a turn for the worse when Pat discovers his role in his removal from Shape (formerly North Norfolk Digital). He’s a man with nothing left to lose, but unfortunately for him he’s up against a man with the world in the palm of his unnaturally clammy hand. Alan Partridge.

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Music by Nojisuma via Pixabay, How do I get to the castle?

Sound effect via Pixabay, Drum Roll Please

Sound effect via Pixabay, Timpani Roll kevinsticks

“The Departed. Let’s talk about The Departed.”

The panel of peril pause, after watching The Departed, for a moment; Craig double crosses Gaz, Ben double crosses Craig, and Adam double crosses Ben. What a pickle! However will they get on the same page to then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod? I should make clear that they aren’t dead, just horribly injured and capable of speech.

Martin Scorsese’s The Departed (2006) finds Irish mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) installing a mole in the Boston Police Department (Colin Sullivan played by Matt Damon) to gain the inside track on manoeuvres against his operation. Unbeknownst to him, police office Billy Costigan (Leonardo Dicaprio) has been sent on an undercover operation into the mob too. What are the odds?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iojhqm0JTW4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Pretty much the same as above this week, tbh innit? Dicaprio’s trying to get dirt on the mob, Damon’s feeding intel to the mob – it’s a whole dosey doe type dealio. But will Costello’s scheme be successful in keeping him safe and throwing his lackeys under the proverbial bus? (See episode 10 for details on that very bus)

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the mob’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

A list of the names of unarmed African Americans murdered by the police can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by GioeleFazzeri from Pixabay

“Takes a good eight minutes to burn a crumpet, I reckon”

The panel of peril take an ill-advised detour to a town that they have been told to never visit, a town so run-down and dilapidated that man dare not tread: Rhyl. Still, they must go, for they have a film screening to catch: Silent Hill (Christophe Gans, 2006).

Rose (Radha Mitchell), Christopher (Sean Bean) and Sharon (Jodelle Ferland) are a family troubled by nightmares of a ghost town named Silent Hill. When Rose decides the best course of action is to visit said town with Sharon, all hell breaks loose, quite literally. As ash ominously falls from the sky, they encounter bobble-headed nurses, lying figures, and Pyramid Head on the search through town, but can Rose and Sharon make it out in one piece?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mfnhu8sO5k

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The cultish Brethren, led by Christabella (Alice Krige), who remain in the town sit at the root of the evil. They inadvertently created their own, everlasting Hell by creating their own witch trials, attempting to burn a child whose anger knows no bounds. Will Rose and Sharon be the next victims tied to the stake, or is there a bargain to be made with forces of the underworld?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Christabella’s twisted scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Alan Wake II’s Herald of Darkness performed live at the Game Awards: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMmU3mZ5gBc

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“It’s the Caesar’s Palace of that particular planet”

The panel of peril knit themselves a multi-coloured scarf, put on the scarf and watch this week’s film, Dr. Who And The Daleks (Gordon Flemyng, 1965), whilst being uncomfortably hot in the scarf.

Eccentric inventor Dr. Who (Peter Cushing) has just invented a contabulous fabtraption named TARDIS. A jolly complicated machine that can travel through time and space. But when granddaughter Susan (Roberta Tovey), Ian (Roy Castle), and Barbara (Jennie Linden) alight the dashing blue police box they are whisked away to the Dalek home planet of Skaro! Oooooops.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFM2xAkD1y8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

A war between the Daleks and the Thal has left their planet barren, and the Daleks themselves confined to their famous metal casings. Concocting a plan to lure the Thal into their city to steal their anti-radiation formula, the Daleks believe they have quite the devilish plan. But they didn’t bargain on Dr. Who and the gang rallying the golden skinned Thal into fighting back against their would-be fascist overlords!

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Dalek’s final solution? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by Sergio Prosvirini from Pixabay

An article on Panera Lemonade for your information: https://news.sky.com/story/panera-breads-caffeinated-charged-lemonade-drinks-blamed-for-two-deaths-in-us-13023351

“The Antiques Roadshow of terrorism”

The panel of peril don their sharpest suit, take a swig of a vodka martini (shaken not stirred) and sit nonchalantly to watch this week’s film Tomorrow Never Dies (Roger Spottiswoode, 1997).

James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) has got his work cut out for him this time around as he locks horns with weedy media mogul Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce). There’s something distinctly shady about this Rupert Murdoch avatar, and M (Judi Dench) wants 007 on the case, pronto! He’ll be joined by Chinese operative Wai Ling (Michelle Yeoh) in trying to take down the delicious villain.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqrk7-mx2D0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Old man Carver is a bit of a naughty boy. He’s trying to manufacture a conflict between the UK and China. To do so he utilises the might of his media empire - including newspaper Tomorrow – and also missiles, goons and that. His prize? Exclusive news peddling rights in China. What an absolute heel. Will Bond and Ling be able to stop Carver and avert war, and how will the panel improve on this diabolical scheme?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Music by Bruno Magic from Pixabay

Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by Julius H. from Pixabay

“You slaggin’ me?”

The panel of peril stand side by side, stare into the bathroom mirror whilst having a group shave and DO NOT say Candyman five times because that would be very silly indeed. Instead, they finish shaving, towel off the excess moisture from their faces and sit down to watch Nia DaCosta’s legacy sequel to Candyman… Candyman!

Candyman (2021) finds local artist Anthony McCoy (Yahya Abdul Mateen II) drawn into the folklore of urban legend the Candyman whilst researching for his latest piece. But a fateful trip to the projects of Cabrini Green will send him down an irrevocable path of horror following a chance encounter with a bee and local Candyman lore-master William Burke (Colman Domingo). Will Anthony escape the clutches of the mythical monster (Tony Todd), or will he join a long list of victims?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikDJlfuU758

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

As Anthony investigates the differing tales of the Candymen who have haunted Cabrini Green throughout the ages local launderette owner Burke enacts his evil scheme. He manipulates the artist’s every move as he twists Anthony’s mind, body and soul into that of the newest incarnation of Cabrini Green’s vengeful spirit. But to what end? And will Burke succeed in his diabolical plan?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by QubeSounds from Pixabay

“Hackers do not apostrophize”

The panel of peril dust off their leathers, straddle the cheap motorbike they’ve been painstakingly restoring, and speed through the cold winter’s night, homeward. Once they’ve warmed up with a hot toddy, they stick on this week’s film The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (David Fincher, 2011).

Disgraced journalist Mikkael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) takes on a decades old mystery at the behest of the elderly industrialist Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer): solve the mystery of his missing, presumed dead, niece Harriet. With the only means to the Vanger family island being blocked on the day in question, the perpetrator can only be one of the large Vanger clan. With mountains of evidence to sift through, Blomkvist enlists the help of a mysterious and difficult private investigator named Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara), to catch a killer of women before he or she can catch them.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVLvMg62RPA

Watch the opening credit sequence here (crank the volume): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY4f_83t_rw

John Cena announces that Osama Bin Laden has been killed at WWE Extreme Rules! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6maL6gq6qME

*********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The deeper that Blomkvist and Salander get into the case, the worse the evidence becomes. Hedestad has been home to an antisemitic, misogynistic serial killer in the 1950s and 60s with the killings seemingly stopping when Harriet Vanger vanished. But it’s reasonable businessman Martin Vanger (Stellan Skarsgard) who has much more secretively taken up the mantle laid down by his father Gottfried so long ago. So it was Martin who killed his sister… Right?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Music by Daddy’s Music Pixabay

Music by Daddy’s Music Pixabay

Sound effect by SoundsForYou | Pixabay

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“I think Adam West was getting it all over”

The panel of peril take a short break from obsessively labelling everything in their stately manor to talk 1966’s absurd classic Batman The Movie. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Batman The Movie was released between season 1 and 2 of the television series in order to boost overseas sales, and sees the Rogue’s Gallery team up to take on Batman and Robin. Adam West and Burt Ward’s iconic Dynamic Duo are all that stands in the way of a bataclysm.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeyMfq6v190

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT*******

The Joker, Catwoman, The Penguin and The Riddler finally have a logical fool proof plan. They intend to dehydrate world leaders, reducing them to a pile of coloured salt, in order to exchange their welfare for a tidy ransom. It’s so simple! Can the Caped Crusader and his faithful ward stop things from going from bat to worse?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villains’ masterplan? And who will be coronated this week’s most diabolical?

“Tumbling down a hole of regret”

The panel of peril sailed to sea, but got bored, and so they sailed on to the sun 'til they found a sea of green and they lived beneath the waves in their yellow submarine. Once there they watched this week’s film Yellow Submarine (George Dunning, 1968).

John Lennon (John Clive), Paul McCartney (Geoff Hughes), George Harrison (Paul Angelis) and Ringo Starr (also Paul Angelis) are charged with captaining the titular vessel in order to save Pepper Land from the dastardly Blue Meanies (also also Paul Angelis). Can they restore the colour that has been stolen by those weird little fellas?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vefJAtG-ZKI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT (well, not really)********

They’re a bunch of bad lads those Blue Meanies, with a cadre of diabolical characters who collude with them. Apple Bonkers, The Dreadful Flying Glove, The Suckophant and many more line up to take out the Fab Four. Will the colour remain drained from Pepper Land, or will the Liverpool lads classic tunes enable a very grand restoration?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by Oleksii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay

Music by Sergei Chetvertnykh from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Micheal from Pixabay

Robert Zemeckis’ Yellow Submarine CG test footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLtMxyI-6tA

“If Gaz, Ben and I are agreed on something which you’re not then you’re basically wrong”

The panel of peril take a break from supervising Filipino tilt-a-whirl operators to discuss Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis’s The Campaign. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2012, The Campaign was directed by comedy powerhouse Jay Roach and takes aim at the corruption and inherent preposterousness of big-time American politics. It also stars such comedy luminaries as Jason Sudeikis, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd and Sarah Baker.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0xxX55rOjY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Political king-makers the Motch Brothers seek to replace incumbent Representative Cam Brady after a public faux pas with loveable nobody Marty Huggins. Their ultimate aim is establish factories that will allow  them to import cheap Chinese labour to further their business interests. Money makes the world go ‘round, after all.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the Motch’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical?

“What if a shark got in here and went mad?”

The Panel of Peril abandon their dinghy and run out of the sea screaming at the top of their of their collective lungs! They have an appointment to keep with this week’s film and do not want to be late! Yes, this week they are watching Jaws (Steven Spielberg, 1975).

Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) thinks he’s in for a quiet life as the head of police on the small island of Amity. He’s quickly disabused of that notion when a shark attack threatens both the citizens of Amity and the lifeblood of the island: the tourist industry. Enlisting the help of marine biologist Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) and salty sea dog Quint (Robert Shaw), the odd trio are in a race against time to stop the Great White from killing again…

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fu_sA7XhE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Sad to say that Brody, Hooper and Quint are hindered in their quest by human foe Mayor Vaughan (Murray Hamilton). Refusing to accept that a shark is responsible for the savaged human remains, refusing to close the beaches in the interests of public safety, instructing reluctant citizens to go INTO the water… this son of a gun is a real piece of work. How can our heroes convince him to see sense and make Amity safe once again?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect by Julius H. from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Sandro Lima from Pixabay

Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay

Music by Music Unlimited from Pixabay

“He'd be a YouTube prankster now wouldn't he. Instead of a serial killer”

Pulling the blank featureless mask over their face, the Panel of Peril breath in deeply and out deeper. They consider picking up a kitchen knife, but instead plump for a DVD of this week’s film, John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978).

Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is an outlier among her group of high school friends. She has no date for the school dance and doesn’t drink or smoke. So, when homicidal maniac Michael Myers (Tony Moran) returns to the her hometown of Haddonfield, her position as a bit of a wet blanket will ensure that she can keep a beady eye fixed on The Shape’s movements.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5ke9IPTIJQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Myers rampages through the town, killing anyone who gets in his way – primarily Laurie’s babysitter friends. Fortunately, Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance) is on the case, with his trusty little pistol, and dead set on stopping the boiler suit-wearing bruiser. Will Laurie survive All Hallows Eve, or will Myers run through everyone and go unpunished?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“Although he kills his wife in quite a horrible way, he seems like a nice guy to me”

The Panel of Peril take a break from polishing their telescope: they’ve been going at it hard and their forearms are sore. In that downtime they take in the film of the week: Body Double (Brian De Palma, 1984).

Jake (Craig Wasson) is a down on his luck actor. His role as a vampire in a B movie is threatened by his crippling claustrophobia and his girlfriend is having an affair. At an acting workshop he meets Sam (Gregg Henry), a fellow actor with a plush spare apartment that overlooks the beautiful Gloria’s (Deborah Shelton) abode. What a stroke of luck for Jake! Or is it? A mysterious black-clad “Indian” appears to be stalking Gloria and taunting Jake. But what is his endgame?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMG8V7Am8zI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Sam’s motives are very much ulterior. He plans to rob/murder Gloria who is actually his wife (!), and has installed a body double in her apartment for Jake to spy on so that Jake can be his alibi… deep breath. No one’s saying it isn’t a convoluted scheme, but it just might work! Can wet-behind-the-ears Jake decipher Sam’s machinations, or will he take the fall for the murderous master of disguise?

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

“Why don't you poke your little noodle through 'em then?”

The panel of peril take a glug from a spectacularly large cup of coffee, admire an oversized map of Atlantic City, and focus their gigantic heads on a screen showing this week’s film So I Married An Axe Murderer (Thomas Schlamme, 1993).

Charlie (Mike Myers) is a footloose/fancy-free young chap who has a serious problem with making romantic commitments. But he’s hopeful that his latest beau Harriet (Nancy Travis) will be different. Hopefully she won’t be a member of the Cosa Nostra. Hopefully she won’t smell of soup. He’s at least hopeful enough to introduce her to his loudmouth father Stuart (also played by Myers) and mother May (Brenda Fricker). So there’s that…

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGlyUmq9wE4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Oh dear, it isn’t long before Charlie finds fault as he suspects that Harriet is actually a black widow who murders her husbands before moving onto her next victim. That’s quite the predicament to be in once the pair are married and honeymooning in a secluded Cluedo-esque hotel. Will Charlie be chopped up into chicken feed, or is there more to this mystery than meets the eye?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the axe murderer’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by Julius H. from Pixabay

Music by Keyframe Audio from Pixabay

“Delegation – that’s what you need”

The panel of peril dance a jig around their bedroom to some ‘heavy metal’, jump in an incredibly bubbly bath, before heading down to the beach to watch a special screening of The Lost Boys (Joel Schumacher, 1987).

When the Emerson family (Michael, played by Jason Patric; Sam, played by Corey Haim; and Lucy, played by Dianne Wiest) moves to Santa Carla they set about finding their peer groups. Sam finds the Frog Brothers (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander), Lucy finds Max (Ed Herrmann), and Michael finds a group of ne’er-do-wells led by David (Kiefer Sutherland). Slowly being drawn into the gangs underground world, it won’t be long before the truth is revealed: The Lost Boys are vampires, and they want to recruit Mike!

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Iqy6m7U7c

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

But what’s their endgame, eh? Turns out kindly, middle-aged video store owner Max is the head vampire and he want to turn the whole Emerson family into creatures of the night, in order to make a new family. A sort of macabre Brady Bunch. Or like Peter Pan, whatever you like. Will the Emersons and the Frog Bros. be able to curtail their fiendish ambitions?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“Doesn’t matter, badgers are infinite”

The panel of peril all arrive home at the same time, Craig narrowly avoiding being run over by Gaz pulling his car into the garage, and dive onto their couch (and then something funny happens). Then they stick on this week’s film, The Simpsons Movie (David Silverman, 2007).

Springfield has become the most polluted town in the US and special measures will have to be taken. Head of the EPA, Russ Cargill (A. Brooks) decides that the best course of action is to place a dome over the entire town to seal the mob in like… carrots. Just how will Homer (Dan Castellaneta), Marge (Julie Kavner), Bart (Nancy Cartwright), Lisa (Yeardley Smith) and Maggie cope?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPG0MqIcby8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

How will they cope? By escaping through a sinkhole and fleeing to Alaska, of course. During the course of their journey though, The Simpsons discover Cargill’s actual plan is to wipe Springfield from the map and turn the smouldering remains into a tourist attraction. Bugger. Can local idiot Homer foil the EPA’s evil scheme, or is Springfield done for?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

“Is homunculus a verb?”

Wandering absent mindedly into a local shop, the panel of peril become quite concerned as one of the proprietors begins to strip naked whilst the other rants at them about having been in a war. They are summarily tied to a stake and told to watch this week’s film The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse (Steve Bendelack, 2005).

World’s collide as The League of Gentlemen (Mark Gatiss, Reece Shearsmith, Steve Pemberton) are confronted by their own creations from two fictional worlds – but what do Geoff Tipps, Herr Lipp, Hillary Briss, Dr. Erasmus Pea (David Warner), Sir Nicholas Sheet-Lightning and the gang want with the writer-actors?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBCfhBEH2jQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Discovering a portal into the real world, the fictional characters of Royston Vasey venture forth to implore their creators not to kill them off or turn their attentions to new script The King’s Evil. But when the characters of that new script get wind of the nature of their existence, they too seek the creators. And their plan is of a far more diabolic nature.

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villains’ masterplan? And who will be coronated this week’s most diabolical?

“You can’t just cast Jack Lemmon in everything”

The panel of peril alight one of those special cinema buses that I’ve just invented to watch and then chat about 1994’s Speed. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Speed was one of the breakout hits of ’94 and established both Keanu Reeves as an action star, and director Jan De Bont as a hot commodity on the Hollywood action scene. Speed is an economical, hostage situation type deal in which Reeves must stop Dennis Hooper’s disgruntled ex-cop from bombing the best folk in the world: bus folk.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8piqd2BWeGI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) is an ex-cop with a chip on his shoulder and a cheap gold watch around his wrist. When he takes out his retirement-based frustrations on innocent Los Angelinos in a bombing campaign it’s up to Jack Traven (Reeves) and spunky, substitute driver Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) to foil his attempt at extorting money in exchange for the safety of a speeding bus. Can they keep above 50MPH and save the day?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“If the opportunity presents itself, you can always go for the shoe poo.”

The panel of peril dash to the bathroom with a glass and a saltshaker, making themselves a wonderful briney drink, before sitting down to watch this week’s film Casino Royale (Martin Campbell, 2006).

James Bond (Daniel Craig) is just starting out his career as a 00 agent. His first mission is to track down the money being wagered by in-between man Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) and attempt to bankrupt him in a high stakes game of poker at the titular casino. Is Bond’s poker face up to the task?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36mnx8dBbGE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Bond isn’t the only person under pressure to perform as Le Chiffre is under the employ of Mr. White’s (Jesper Christensen) shadowy organisation, who introduce the blood weeping bugger to the Lord’s Resistance Army whose funds he must gamble and win with. Also! Bond is joined on his mission by Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), an agent of the Treasury who may have a more vested interest in the task than she’s letting on ;)

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect by Muzaproduction from Pixabay

Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Fronbondi_Skegs from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Cristian_Changing from Pixabay

“I'll be downstairs, asleep, without my head on”

The panel of peril tie their hair in a couple of lovely plaits and don some fetching red slip-ons to watch this week’s film Return To Oz (Walter Murch, 1985).

Dorothy (Fairuza Balk) is plagued by memories of the wonderful land of Oz, and as such is completely unable to sleep. Shipped off to a suspiciously creepy ‘clinic’ by her well-meaning Aunt Em (Piper Laurie), Dorothy soon embarks on a magical journey back to the titular fantasy land. But our plucky heroine is shocked to find that things have taken a turn for the terrifying in her short absence.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7DWx9xL23Y

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The Emerald City lies in ruins, its citizens – including the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man – turned to stone. The perpetrator is the new ruler of Oz, The Nome King (Nicol Williamson). He rules the land with a massive stony fist, ably assisted by the witch Mombi (Jean Marsh) who has a nasty habit of collecting her enemies’ heads. Can Dorothy and her pals, Billina the chicken, Jack Pumpkinhead, and Tik-Tok the clockwork robot – fend off the ghastly Wheelers on their way to dethroning the gruesome twosome?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“So many of my plans have been undone by Antonio Banderas”

The panel of peril stand in the corner of the room, in the shadows, waiting for a chance to strike at their prey. They’re not home. They’ve gone on holiday for three weeks. Damn. Instead, they decide to watch this week’s film The Batman (Matt Reeves, 2022).

The Batman (Robert Pattinson) is, once again, starting out on his career path of borderline psychotic vigilante. Taking out street gangs pushing Gotham’s drug of choice, monitoring the local mafia along with James Gordon (Jeffrey Wright), and making the acquaintance of likeminded individuals such as Selina Kyle (Zoe Kravitz). But a mysterious masked man known only as The Riddler (Paul Dano) raises the stakes higher than ever as he wreaks bloody vengeance on high-ranking Gotham officials. Can The Batman unravel the mystery, and stop him?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqqft2x_Aa4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Seeking revenge for what he sees as the abandonment of the lower class (principally himself), Riddler targets a conspiracy that ranges from a District Attorney (Peter Sarsgaard) to mob boss Carmine Falcone (John Turturro), and even Bruce Wayne’s father Thomas. Yikes! As he racks up a formidable kill list it remains to be seen what his final goal truly is, and what his plan for The Batman entails.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon The Riddler’s twisted scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“The one thing he needed to do to not f__k it up was not be a nonce”

The panel of peril strap on some rollerblades and take to the skies! They go about a bit, you knowwww, before tiring of that nonsense and having a nice sit to watch this week’s film Jupiter Ascending (The Wachowskis, 2015). They are joined by video essayist Delaney Jordan!

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) is an ordinary Joe/Jupiter… or is she? Could it be that she is actually Queen of the Universe?! Yes, she is. Finding herself at the centre of a ancient conflict, Jupiter must rely on allies Caine (Channing Tatum) and Stinger (Sean Bean) if she hopes to survive the attempts on her life by erstwhile Space Pope Balem (Eddie Redmayne).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THVFkk-sEus

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Balem, from the Abrasax space family, wants to claim Earth as his own and his harvest all of our stuff for himself. Taking in such SF delights as spaceships, space roller blades, space human-animal hybrids, and mass genocide, Jupiter Ascending is fun for all the family and we certainly had a lot of laughs discussing it.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Balem’s Earth-harvesting scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“At least one of them is a luge chase, so wind your neck in”

The Panel of Peril resign their posts in disgust at being told they aren’t allowed to do whatever the heck they please. Fortunately, their secretary has swapped out their resignation letter for a letter requesting time off to watch many, many films. They shall begin with this week’s film, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (Peter R. Hunt, 1969).

James Bond (George Lazenby) is a man obsessed. Obsessed with locating, and capturing, his arch nemesis Blofeld (Telly Savalas) after several prior close calls (with the other fella). Eventually tracking him down to a secret base atop the Swiss Alps, Bond assumes the mantle of genealogist Hillary Bray to investigate the big baldy’s claim to the title of Count de Bleuchamp. What is he up to?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOLq5Rg9N-c

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

He actually wants the title to claim immunity for alllllll of his prior crimes, and threatens to sterilise the worlds’ crops and what have you if he doesn’t get his own way. That’s a spicy meat-a-ball-a, and Bond faces a ticking clock to stop the erstwhile Count’s evil scheme. Add Diana Rigg’s feisty Tracy into the mix to steal Bond’s heart, and you’ve got yourself a stunning new rendition of 007, sure to continue for many films to come…

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Blofeld’s sustenance-obliterating plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Mr. Bond, you appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season”

The Panel of Peril saunter through a small mining town in their fancy BMW, before being inexplicably arrested for not stopping at an intersection. Swiftly tried and convicted, they are sentenced to watch this week’s movie Nothing But Trouble (Dan Aykroyd, 1991). They are joined in this gross punishment by this week’s guest, Jesse Hawken from the Junk Filter Pod!

Chris Thorne (Chevy Chase) is a financial publisher who just wants to impress solicitor Diane Lightson (Demi Moore) by driving her, and two Brazilian wackos, to Atlantic City. Taking an unforeseen detour, they wind up in Valkenvania, a mining town that has fallen on hard times, and fall foul of local cop Dennis (John Candy) and decrepit Judge Valkenheiser (Aykroyd).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbvIjtP7lxE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Seeking reparations for a dodgy deal he was sold years ago, the JP is a twisted ghoul of a man with a literal rollercoaster death machine, and a lethal funhouse awaiting anyone who crosses him – especially bankers. Therefore, he has a vested interest in punishing the high-flying Chris and chums when they wind up in his courthouse. It’s a comedy guys; but not as we know it!

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon Judge Valkenheiser’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

The (brutal) Roast of Chevy Chase can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG4W0OfzJjM

The German trailer for Valkenvania can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RGBvBsgc8E

An excellent documentary on the town that Valkenvania (and Silent Hill) was based on can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lftblcp0Ns&t=8soutube.com

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“You can only have one muppet in it – that’s a dealbreaker”

The panel of peril put away their copy of Gun Owners Weekly, clean up, and settle down in the soft neon light of their oversized crucifix to watch this week’s film Se7en (David Fincher, 1995).

Detectives Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and Mills (Brad Pitt) are the original chalk and cheese: one is a jaded, cynical veteran, the other a cocky, optimistic newcomer to the nameless city they operate in. But when a deranged person themes a series of murders around the seven deadly sins, can Mills and Somerset come together to crack the case and both become cheese (or chalk, I suppose)?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znmZoVkCjpI

********PLOT 5POILER AL3RT********

Shockingly handing himself in to the police and revealing himself to be John Doe (Kevin Spacey), the killer’s true purpose will only revealed during an explosive conclusion that pushes the detectives to the very edge of their sanity.

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon John Doe’s criminally insane scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

A short comic by Craig and Gaz wherein John Cena plays Brad PItt's role in Se7en: https://gorillapress123.wordpress.com/2016/05/08/gorilla-press-presents-one-shot-se7en-starring-john-cena/ss.com)

“I see myself as a bit more fruity. I'm not a macho guy, wondering where my testicles have gone. I still know where they are”

The panel of peril pick up an excessively large ball of popcorn from a bowl on their kitchen table. They chisel off a portion-sized amount, and dive onto the couch to watch this week’s film Gentlemen Broncos (Jared Hess, 2009).

Benjamin Purvis (Michael Angarano) is a young writer with a dream of paying tribute to his late father by publishing his pulp sci-fi tome Yeast Lords. Attending a writer’s symposium, featuring a talk from his favourite author Ronald Chevalier (Jemaine Clement), should give him a leg up on the competition, but desperate people do desperate things. One desperate person in particular.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdpFpfIBkXc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Little does Benjamin know that Chevalier is struggling with his latest novel, has his publisher ready to drop him, and he has zero qualms with plagiarising the (better) work of others. How can Benjamin prove the original work was his, and that Chevalier has simply added the suffixes ‘onius’, ‘ainous’, and ‘anous’ to his characters’ names? That would be telling.

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Music by Ghost Coast 2030 - Pixabay

Music by Meditation Sounds - Pixabay

Sound effect by BLASTER 2 - Pixabay

“Once women everywhere are empowered, it would be time to bring in the rent boys”

One by one the panel of peril change up their weapon set as they engage in a life or death four way dual, as they smash and slice each armament to pieces in turn. The only thing that breaks their furious combat is a swift two hour viewing of this week’s film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000).

Jade Fox (Cheng Pei-pei) is a woman with a grudge against Wudan. And it just so happens that she and her apprentice Jen Yu (Zhang Ziyi) are in close proximity to a pre-eminent member of Wudan in Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat). Can the nefarious duo exact revenge on Mu Bai and his forbidden love Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh), and take control of the legendary Green Destiny sword too?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jTdOdcMKoY

Spurned by a former Wudan lover and told that, as a woman, she cannot learn the secrets of their art, Jade Fox is ruddy fuming. She has already managed to assassinate Li Mu Bai’s master, but will she succeed in taking him out too?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Music by AntipodeanWriter from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by u_f1ee7vf7na from Pixabay

“We had a wonderful conversation. Please don’t print it in the newspapers that I got mad”

The panel of peril sanitise their hands, walk out of the hospital that they’ve been visiting a badly burned acquaintance in, and thank the staff for all of their hard work. Because we support the NHS. And the Postal workers, heck all of Britain’s workforce! Once home, the panel grab a glass of blackcurrant squash and turn on this week’s film The Dark Knight (2008).

Bruce Wayne/Batman (Christian Bale) believes that he is winning the war on crime in Gotham. The Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) is back behind bars, Salvatore Maroni (Eric Roberts) and the mob are scared to be seen dealing in public, and there’s a new idealistic District Attorney by the name of Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart). But chaos lies in wait as the mysterious Joker (Heath Ledger) enters the fray to unmask Batman.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQfATDZY5Y4

The Joker is a very changeable fellow: first he says his plan is to kill Batman, then he decides he’d rather unmask Batman, then he thinks he’d rather see Batman kill someone (even if it’s him), and finally lands on Harvey Dent turning on his crime fighting allies Batman and James Gordon (Gary Oldman). What a ride. Will he succeed in his campaign of corruption, or will it be Batman triumphant?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Sound effects from Pixabay

Also, forgot to mention it in the podcast, but check out The Tangerine Knight for a quick giggle at Bruce and Alfred's expense The Tangerine Knight - YouTube

“Is he just horny?”

The Panel of Peril climb a big ol’ mountain to claim a mythical prize to aid them in their epic quest. That prize is a DVD of this week’s film; that quest is to watch that DVD, which is this week’s film Krull (Peter Yates, 1983). Upon climbing back down the mountain, they are met well by this week’s guest panel member, Matt Spectro!

Prince Colwyn (Ken Marshall) and Lyssa (Lysette Anthony) are happily betrothed to be married, after which they will rule over the planet Krull, presumably with a lavender fist. Their son is also prophesied to rule over the galaxy, and so they, as you can imagine, are absolutely delighted. But the arrival of a warlord known as The Beast (Tim Dry/Trevor Martin) and his army puts the kibosh on their destinies.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndpV6qfQJVw

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Gathering a band of merry men/fellowship as they traverse the countryside of Krull, Prince Colwyn, Torquil (Alun Armstrong), Ergo (David Battley) and a kindly Cyclops (Bernard Bresslaw) march on The Beast’s teleporting castle. He means to take Lyssa’s hand in marriage himself, and therefore rule the galaxy by proxy. Will Colwyn and the gang be able to locate the Black Fortress in time to stop him?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon The Beast’s prophecy-hijacking plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“So how would you answer the question 'has this woman been here?'"

"...No."

Good afternoon. The panel of peril surround themselves with stuffed birds of prey, and make a sandwich to eat whilst watching this week’s film Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960).

Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) has been a bit of a silly billy. Stealing $40,000 from her employer before hightailing it across country, she is in a right pickle. But that’s just the beginning of her problems as she stops to rest for the night at the Bates Motel and a fateful encounter with its proprietor, Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTJQfFQ40lI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Just after she decides to return the loot and do hard time, Norman’s mother bursts into the bathroom and slaughters Marion as she showers! One of the most iconic scenes in cinema history sets the film on edge as Marion’s sister, her erstwhile beau, and a private detective all try to decipher her whereabouts and confirm or deny whether a boy’s best friend is indeed his mother.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Sound effect by Sad Violin - Quick Sounds

Music by An Alien Presence - Pixabay

Arrow’s beautiful new complete 4K Psycho boxset can be pre-ordered here: https://www.arrowfilms.com/4k/the-psycho-collection-limited-edition-4k-ultra-hd/14869824.html

“Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta”

The panel of peril take their place in some large comfy swivel chairs, place their chin on their fist and engage(!) with 1982’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Wrath of Khan sees the return of one of The Original Series’ most iconic villains Kahn Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) as he seeks vengeance against Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and fellow Enterprise crew members Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Doctor McCoy (DeForest Kelley) and Scotty (James Doohan). Will Khan be successful or will Kirk pull another Kobayashi Maru to wriggle his way out of this pickle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8X44NRltMM

Marooned on an isolated planet for how ever many years it has been, Khan has had a long old time to consider how exactly to take out his wrath on Kirk. How will he do it? By trying to shoot him with his spaceship of course. But will Kirk and ALL of the crew of the Enterprise survive this DIABOLICAL plan?

Just what did the panel make of this week’s movie? How can they feasibly improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will hoist the plastic trophy that dubs them this week’s most diabolical?

GAZ’S PLAN

The river must cut the middleman here. Of course, the mediator is Chekov, and the man is the finisher. For him to use the two ill-fated objects, he must destroy them and use their murders to trash Kirk and the boys on his planet. When the crew of the Enterprise stumble upon Khan's realm, they have to stab several bugs in the ears, such as Kirk, Spock, and Vaughan. And turn them into zombie slaves. Wouldn't it be a more satisfying revenge if Mexican/Indian friends could control everything they say and do? It says "Kirk". "Now make universe hotpot noodles! Add soy sauce!" "Spoke," "Changing the channel, the coronation starts in five minutes," Boone said. "Using your medical skills, you slowly plunged the knife into Kirk's arm and he was bleeding. Khan was able to quickly release his anger, but it had been locked away for years. So the best revenge was this. Have to do justice with looted money for months. I think it's just playing, and even a year. Unlike pasta, "revenge is better than cold food". But I added the last one.

There is an old Klingon proverb that says "Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta".

Now, what I’ve done there is run my plan through Google translate a few times. It went: ENGLISH – WELSH – SPANISH – SWAHILI – JAPANESE – ENGLISH – SLOVAK – ICELANDIC – MACEDONIAN – KOREAN – URDU – ENGLISH. If you’re too basic to understand what it all meant, then here’s the original.

PLAN ORIGINAL

Khan should really just cut out the middle man here – the middle man being Chekov and the guy from The Terminator, of course. If he absolutely must use those two unfortunates, then he should do away with them with a phaser and use their deaths to lure Kirk and the lads down to his shit heap of a planet. Once the Enterprise crew have alighted Khan’s domain, he should stick some of those little space worms in Kirk, Spock, Bones etc. ears and make them his zombie slaves.

Wouldn’t it be a more satisfying revenge for our Mexican/Indian friend to have mastery over everything that his foe/s say and do? “Kirk,” he would say, “make me a space Pot Noodle now! Extra soy sauce!” “Spock,” he would say, “change the channel, Coronation Street is starting in five minutes!” “Bones,” he would say, “use your medical knowledge and poke this knife slowly into Kirk’s arm and bleed him slowly so that he becomes weak, never knowing why he weakens but never dying either.” Khan could have release his wrath in one fell swoop, but I think toying with his prey over months or even years, as he was trapped for years, would be the best revenge. And as the old Klingon proverb goes ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ unlike a Pot Noodle. I added that last bit though.

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Breaking her down mentally,” “Like Craig does with porridge”

The panel of peril arrive for their annual Christmas party, meet the office coke fiend, argue with their estranged wife, and then settle in to watch the first of our Christmas films of the year: John McTiernan’s 1988 classic Die Hard.

John McClane (Bruce Willis) is a New York cop visiting his estranged wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) at her work’s Christmas party in wacky Los Angeles. That party takes place at the beautiful Nakatomi Plaza, and it’s about to have some unwanted party guests. Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) and his gang of teutonic henchmen are a big gang of party poopers with a plan that isn’t as simple as it first appears.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaJuwKCmJbY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Initially posing as common or garden terrorists, Gruber’s gang of goons are soon revealed to be nothing more than common or garden robbers. The loot they seek takes the form of untraceable bearer bonds and they are merely using the guise of terrorist as a cunning ruse. But they didn’t bargain on a rough, tough New York cop crawling through air vents and what have you, picking them all off one at a time. Planning for that would be very difficult. Very hard… Die Hard.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Ho ho ho!

Music by SoundGalleryByDmitryTaras from Pixabay

Sound Effect by beetpro from Pixabay

Music by Daddy_s_Music from Pixabay

Music by SoulProdMusic from Pixabay

“Still optimistic aren't they, not trudging off, like Charlie Brown, saying "this time next year...", like Del Boy”

The panel of peril alight their small scooter and nearly freeze to death on the journey they are required to make in order to watch this week’s film Dumb And Dumber (Peter Farrelly, 1994).

Harry (Jeff Daniels) and Lloyd (Jim Carrey) are two best friends with a dream of opening a pet store that sells worms (named I Got Worms), but a hilariously low intelligence quotient. So when Lloyd accidentally intercepts a briefcase full of ransom money, left by Mary (Lauren Holly), they unknowingly find themselves the targets of kidnappers and ne’er-do-wells as they seek to return it. Hijinks ensue as Harry and Lloyd take to the road on a road trip to Aspen.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l13yPhimE3o

********PloT SPoILEr AlErT********

Friend of Mary’s family Nicholas (Charles Rocket) is the man making the monetary demands. Convinced that Harry and Lloyd are a couple of genius do-gooders, he enlists the help of some ruffians to recover the lost loot. But whatever could be his backup plan if Harry and Lloyd were to spend a hefty portion of the cash on frivolous purchases (sports cars, posh hotel rooms, day glo formal wear)?

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

A helpful article on Yura-Chara can be found here: https://www.yurugp.jp/en/

Sound effect from Pixabay - Call To Attention

Sound effect from Pixabay - Airport Ambiance 1

“It’s a range war – you’re kicking that chimp to death”

The panel of peril have just missed their bus and are stranded in the middle of a lonely, windy mountain range. Fortunately, there’s a creepy abandoned house nearby which they settle into to watch this week’s film Phenomena (Dario Argento, 1985).

Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly) is an American girl currently taking residence at an all-girls school in Switzerland. Not only that, but she has a psychic connection with the insect world, and moreover loves the little buggers. Sadly, there is a lunatic murderer around the grounds of the school, picking off girls and women seemingly at random. Help is at hand though in the form of wheelchair bound forensic bug expert Professor John (Donald Pleasance) and his chimpanzee nurse Inga (Tanga).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upUJetCHYFc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The murderer(s) turn out to be none other than school ma’am Frau Bruckner (Daria Nicolodi) along with her gerbil-faced, freak of a son who has many a crazy thought, I can tell you. Once they manage to capture our young heroine, who or what can possibly save her? The INSECTS?!!! The CHIMPANZEE!!?!! Time/watching the film will tell…

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Bruckner’s loopy machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“I think they deserved to die, if that’s what killed ‘em”

The panel of peril fall a small distance from a rickety bridge into a shallow river and arrive home soaking wet! They are sopping wet, but otherwise fine – thus their viewing of Beetlejuice (Tim Burton, 1988) shall commence as planned!

When the Deetz family (Catherine O’Hara, Winona Ryder) move from the city into a new home they plan to do what new homeowners always do – redocrate, remodel, redesign. But little do they know that the house is home to it supernatural former residents the Maitlands (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis). A battle of the wills commences, but which family shall gain the upper hand?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ickbVzajrk0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The ghostly duo decide to enlist the dubious services of “bio-exorcist” Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton) to help rid them of those pesky city folk. Things don’t quite go how the Maitlands’ imagined however, as they become fond of the youngest member of the new residents, and Betelgeuse demands that same girl’s hand in marriage. Yikes.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the ghost with the most’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“Tia Carrera’s career was ruined by Tia Maria”

Sweaty-browed and cramped of hand, the Panel of Peril draw furiously in real-time each and every frame of this week’s film Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (Bruce Timm and Eric Radomski, 1993). Soon they shall break for a feast of marshmallows; they have earned it.

Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy) has lived with the trauma of his parents’ death since he was a young boy. Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany) has lived with the trauma of her father’s death since she and Bruce had a whirlwind romance and brief engagement. When a mysterious figure known only as the Phantasm (Stacy Keach) begins to haunt both Batman and the men associated with Andrea’s father it will lead them down a path that they may never recover from.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PK5CYZlHMA

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Beaumont Sr. made a deal with the mob and it eventually cost him his life. Conveniently enough a member of Gotham’s mob at the time was arch Bat-nemesis The Joker (Mark Hamill), so get him in there! Can Batman unmask the Phantasm before they exact terrible revenge, and what will be the cost on his fragile psyche?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How the heckins can they improve upon this week’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

WWE’s Bray Wyatt reveals The Fiend here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kza7j4aae4

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“They got Orson Welles to do the farts”

The panel of peril adjust their codpieces, lacquer their hair profusely, and settle down with our goblin lackeys to watch this week’s film Labyrinth (Jim Henson, 1986).

Sarah Williams (Jennifer Connelly) is a young woman who lives in somewhat of a fantasy world. And by that, I mean that she dresses up as a medieval princess down at her local park. Her parents aren’t happy about her lack of responsibility at all, but she’s having none of it. Until the night that she is pulled into an actual (?) fantasy world by Goblin King Jareth (David Bowie) and tasked with negotiating the titular labyrinth in order to rescue her baby brother. Umm, let’s just say high jinks ensue, okay?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2yd4em1I6M

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Turns out old Jareth has no interest in the child after all, instead he seeks Sarah’s hand in marriage before the stroke of midnight…

… Bit weird.

But fear not! Sarah has help in the form of dashing dog Sir Didymus, crotchety old troll Hoggle, and big, weird friendly monster Ludo! The fantastic four, you might call them. Yes, I’m certain that name has yet to be taken.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“It made me bored of sex”

Laughing at nothing in particular, the panel of peril sit down in overly dramatic fashion to watch this week’s cinematic tour de force The Room (Tommy Wiseau, 2003).

Johnny (Wiseau) is such a great guy. Such a great, great guy. He’s going to get a promotion for sure, everyone loves him, his lovemaking technique is top class, and he’s superb at football. But ungrateful harpy of a girlfriend Lucy (Juliette Danielle) doesn’t think so. She thinks he’s a real drag and would rather get it on with Mark (Greg Sestero). That’s it.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG_e8k9PILM

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

And get it on with Mark she does, several times, and then Johnny finds out and, well… That would be a spoiler too far. Infamously incompetent in its scripting, direction, and performances, The Room is a must-see for aficionados of bad cinema and fans of those unafraid to try – not matter their competency level.

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

This episode is dedicated to Sam Steinson.

“It’s peak 1980s neon future vision”

The panel of peril spray black paint across their eyes and cartwheel over to the sofa to take in a viewing of this week’s film, Blade Runner: The Final Cut (Ridley Scott, 1980/2017).

Deckard (Harrison Ford) is the titular runner, tasked with hunting down four artificial lifeforms known as Replicants. Led by the charismatic Batty (Rutger Hauer), the Replicants merely seek more than the four years of life that their programming allows for. Sad, in’t it?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoEyZoOTtss

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Making his way to the Replicants’ creator to plea for more life/squeeze his head to bits, Batty will let nothing get in the way of his and his brothers and sisters survival, not even Indiana Jones for cripes sake.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by Stringer_Bell from Pixabay

Sound Effect by SoundsForYou from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by SoundReality from Pixabay

“Everyone likes a comic on the bog”

The panel of peril dress entirely in green, mutter something about being afraid of something or something, and strap themselves into the Ludovico chair to watch Green Lantern (Martin Campbell, 2011).

Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is your standard authority-bucking, secretly fearful, movie fighter pilot. His relationship with childhood friends Carol (Blake Lively) and Hector (Peter Sarsgaard) is as strained as his attempts at improvised sass. But when a space alien gives Hal a magic ring that harnesses the power of the colour green… well, you can be sure that a bunch of stuff happens in a serviceable fashion, and no mistake.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-GO9fo9DtM

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Right, the bad guy is a big cloudy CG fella named Parallax. He can use the power of the colour YELLOW to harness fear, power up and go ham on whoever or whatever he wants! And he wants to go ham on the Green Lantern home planet of Oa and take out the Lantern Corps (all 3600 of them) and the all-knowing Guardians. Will Parallax reign supreme, or will Hal be able to confront his fear, overcome his fear, harness his fear, and defeat the fear that Parallax conjures. For God’s sake, we really, really hope so.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by Luis Humanoide from Pixabay

Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Hey, I’ve got some plums. Let’s go down to KFC”

The panel of peril take a quick break from the important business of smashing up a small pile of rocks using a big bone to watch this week’s film. Yes, it’s the proverbial good science fiction film, 2001: A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968).

Since the dawn of time man has wanted to destroy the moon. But when an ancient, unknowable, mysterious black monolith shows up on the moon will it be us (humankind) who are to be the destroyees? What does the object portend, and what influence will it hold over man and technology?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR_e9y-bka0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

A manned mission to Jupiter to locate another monolith goes seriously awry thanks to an AI named Chat GPT… ho ho ho, I mean HAL 9000 (voiced by Douglas Rain). The ship’s operating system develops a genocidal attitude in the pursuit of the monolith, leaving Dave Bowman (Keir Dullea) as the only man able to stop it. Aye carumba (as they say in the far flung future of the year 2001)!

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Music by Lesfm from Pixabay

Sound Effect by SamuelFrancisJohnson from Pixabay

Music by PianoAmor from Pixabay

"I've had a good look and our following is 87% MAGA"

The panel of peril have convened at a bucolic country home to watch this week’s film, 2017’s modern masterpiece Get Out. We then try to improve upon the villains’ diabolical plan for the privilege of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Written and directed by Jordan Peele and starring Daniel Kaluuya, Alison Williams, Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener, Get Out is one of the films that helped popularise the social horror sub genre, and won Peele an Oscar for screenwriting.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzfpyUB60YY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The Armitage Family run an unusual business: they harvest and sell African Americans’ bodies in order to cheat death, illness and sundry afflictions. Sending the host’s consciousness to The Sunken Place, this modern-day slave trade has a startlingly long and proud record of success.

What did the panel make of this week’s film? What devilish delights can they conjure to improve upon the Armitage’s diabolical scheme? And just who will be victorious?

Us Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tzFRIQfwXg

Nope Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgmq_8PlRY

“Have you ever had trifle at a Chinese restaurant?”

A fantastical wire-fu battle rages as the panel of peril tries to watch this week’s film, John Carpenter’s Big Trouble In Little China. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 1986, Big Trouble In Little China marks the fourth collaboration between fan favourite director-actor duo John Carpenter and Kurt Russell. Also starring Dennis Dun, James Hong and Kim Cattrall, it was not a hit at the time but has since gained a reputation as a cult classic.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmug65rbHh0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Sorcerer Lo Pan must find, marry and sacrifice a green-eyed girl in order to break an ancient curse. Using dark Chinese magics and the clout of the Wing Kong Exchange, only one vaguely incompetent all-American hero (and his supremely competent Chinese ‘sidekick’) can stop Lo Pan and save the day.

Was the film a hit with the panel? Just how could they improve upon magical perfection? And whom will be crowned this week’s most diabolical?

“1982 also spawned other babies in the form of films”

The panel of peril outrun some weird crab beetles, wade through a thick bog, and dive over a fiery precipice… to their couch to watch this week’s film, the first of season 4, The Dark Crystal (Jim Henson & Frank Oz, 1982).

Jen (Jim Henson/Stephen Garlick) is the only creature of his kind, a Gelfling. Not only that, but he is the hero prophesied to restore the dark crystal, thus ending the despotic reign of the evil Skeksis over the planet Thra. Meeting allies Aughra (Frank Oz/Billie Whitelaw) and Kira (Kathryn Mullen/Lisa Maxwell) along the way, will Jen succeed in his mission before the fateful conjunction of planets?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaH6cOR8NKc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Unfortunately for Jen and the gang, the crystal has shown the Skeksis exactly what is afoot. They send out minions and roadblocks to foil them at every turn to secure their seat of power for all eternity. Will this be the latest episode where the bad guys win? Only one way to find out!

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by AntipodeanWriter from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Micheal from Pixabay

“Surprise! Butcher’s hook up your nostril”

The Panel of Peril start creepily speaking Latin, wield small, sharp weapons at one another, but thankfully stop short of gouging their own eyes out. They’ll be needing those to watch this week’s film Event Horizon (Paul WS Anderson, 1997).

The crew of the Lewis & Clark are your typical blue-collar bunch. Miller (Laurence Fishburne), Starck (Joely Richardson), Smith (Sean Pertwee) are not best pleased when they are sent on a shaggy dog mission to recover the long-lost mega-ship the Event Horizon. The ship’s creator Weir (Sam Neill) is along for the ride, much to the crew’s chagrin, but where has the Horizon been all these years?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nlkEY-3CMI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Well… Weir explains that the ship has the ability to fold the universe in on itself, and so it turns out that it has been in… Hell! And now it wants the crew of the Lewis & Clark dead, manipulating Weir as its henchman of destruction. Can the guys and gals better their inner demons, actual demons, and BOMBS, and escape with their souls intact?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon an evil spaceship’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Greggs sausage roll, that's the British donut isn't it”

Venturing up into the attic to retrieve some Christmas decorations, the panel of peril get quite the fright: a television that is showing this week’s film Black Christmas (Bob Clark, 1974).

In an unnamed sorority house, Jess (Olivia Hussey), Barb (Margot Kidder), Mrs. Mac (Marian Waldman) et al have a Christmas they will never forget. They receive sinister phone calls and see ominous omens courtesy of the deranged ‘Billy’ who seeks to pick them off one by one. Will any of them survive the (silent) night (holy night), and how does the killer know so much about them all?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6JuJHmVsh4&t=40s

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The calls are coming from inside the house! Taking up residence in the sorority’s attic, Billy ventures down when it’s safe to pick off the girls one by one, beginning with Clare (Lynne Griffin). Surely it can be just a matter of time until the police, led by Lt. Fuller (John Saxon), trace the call and lead the madman out in cuffs? Just in time for a succulent turducken dinner with lashings of roast potatoes and veg? Yes… surely.

Did this week’s film fill the panel with festive cheer? Could they find a way to improve Billy’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“He’s got quite a punchable face”

The panel of peril jump onto the dance mat at their local arcade, kicking some major butt, before relaxing at home with their best gal (not even holding hands) and watching this week’s film Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (Edgar Wright, 2010).

Scott (Michael Cera) is a young roustabout who has a band named Sex Bob-omb and high school girlfriend named Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). But when the mysterious Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) arrives on the scene Scott must heroically dump Knives and battle seven evil exes to win the heart of the blue haired beauty.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wd5KEaOtm4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

One by one Scott must defeat each of Ramona’s evil exes, before reaching final boss Gideon Graves (Jason Schwartzman) and defeating him in mortal combat. Can Scott turn them all into a big pile of coins on the floor, or will Gideon make it game over for our young hero?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect by beetpro from Pixabay

“Wes Anderson uses the power of symmetry to travel through time and space”

The panel of peril square up to one another all of a sudden, snarl, and flap their arms around whilst saying things like “Cuss you!” “Cuss me! Cuss you.” Things soon de-escalate though, they are friends after all, and they take a pew to watch Wes Anderson’s Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mister Fox (2009).

Foxy (George Clooney) is an animal who has it all; a beautiful wife (Felicity voiced by Meryl Streep), smart son (Ash voiced by Jason Schwartzman) and a lovely home inside a tree. But it’s never enough for the little cuss. When the foxes nephew Kristofferson (voiced by Eric Anderson) comes to visit, it sets off a chain of events that will threaten the lives of the whole family.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2igjYFojUo

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Plotting to raid the farms of local hard men Boggis, Bunce and Bean, Foxy has not considered the terrible wrath that might be rained down upon him if he gets caught. And caught he is, and swift the terrible wrath also is. Kristofferson is captured and the cast of family and friends are trapped with no hope of food or drink. How will they resolve this little pickle, I wonder?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Music by Caffeine_Creek_Band from Pixabay

“Where are The Beverly Hillbillies during this?”

The panel of peril just about make it home, despite the banana up their tailpipe (fnar, fnar), in their battered old automobile. Just in time to check out this week’s film Beverly Hills Cop (Martin Brest, 1984).

Detroit cop Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is a streetwise, proverbial good cop who knows how to collar a perp. Unfortunately, his friend Mikey falls foul of Beverly Hills bad sod Victor Maitland (Steven Berkoff) and tastes hot lead at the hands of scary henchman Zack (Jonathan Banks). Looks like a trip to sunny B Hills is on the itinerary for Axel F!

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc3sPICXZLs

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

At first falling foul of Detective Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) and Sergeant Taggart (John Ashton), Axel slowly makes inroads to finding out what Victor’s beef with Mikey was. Cocaine and bearer bonds are being smuggled through his high-class art dealership, more than enough to nail his British bottom to the wall. Can Axel convince the Beverly Hills PD to help him do so, though?

Did this week’s film fill the panel with nostalgic cheer? Could they find a way to improve Victor’s money-grubbing plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

"Dr Philip Decker is a respected psychiatrist who has been leading a double life..."

"- Double Decker!"

The panel of peril die before being swiftly resurrected on the mortuary slab. They then go to an underground town named Midian. They then watch this week’s film Nightbreed: The Director’s Cut (Clive Barker, 1990/2014).

Aaron Boone (Craig Sheffer) is a young man plagued by dreams of monsters residing in the hidden town of Midian. Not only that but he is convinced that he is a prolific killer of humans, specifically children, but this notion has been driven into him by his therapist Dr. Phillip K. Decker (David Cronenberg). But just how will Boone’s dreams and his imagined crimes collide?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKXnT8FVleY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Decker’s plan is truly diabolical: framing Boone for his own murders, and causing his death at the hands of the police. Little does he know that Boone’s connection to Midian means he can resurrect, embrace his monstrous nature and join with the Nightbreed to combat the nefarious forces of man. Will our gang of rag tag freaks be able to hold back Decker and the cops, or is Midian and her denizens done for?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And, in this final episode of season 3, who will be christened most diabolical?

Music: Powerul Heavy Rock (Barehanded) - Pixabay

“That's what you get for inviting audience participation”

The Panel of Peril slip out of their wet clothes and into a dry martini, before taking a pew to watch this week’s film The Man With The Golden Gun (Guy Hamilton, 1974).

Has James Bond (Roger Moore) met his match in the charming, villainous and charmingly villainous Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee)? As the world’s best secret agent (that’s Bond) and the world’s most expensive assassin are pitted against one another, can 007 stop the world being held to ransom by the selling of Scaramanga’s nefarious Solex solar power? Perish the thought.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF5fr3Zhi7E

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

There’s also the small matter of Scaramanga sending Bond a bullet that literally has his name on it! If I know James Bond, he’s not going to stand for that! And he doesn’t, so I am right! Culminating in a memorable funhouse duel on Scaramanga’s secret island lair, Bond will also have to contend with devious manservant cum gamesmaster Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize) in his fight for survival.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Scaramanga’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Alice Cooper’s rejected theme tune can be heard here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMKPTSE14tY

Sound effect: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/spy-game-56943/

Sound effect: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/malathion-85943/

Music: https://pixabay.com/music/pulses-007-bond-more-on-spotify-bruno-magic-148987/

Music: https://pixabay.com/music/bossa-nova-dream-by-dreams-143531/

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“I remember feet”

The panel of peril very calmly walk into a room, just a normal room mind you, to watch this week’s film Panic Room (David Fincher, 2002).

Recent divorcee Meg Altman (Jodie Foster) and her daughter Sarah (Kristen Stewart) are house hunting in the affluent brownstones of New York City. Deciding upon a grand, old building – complete with an old service lift, and state of the art panic room – the ladies settle in for the first night in a new home with wine and take out. Little do they know that three armed robbers (Jared Leto, Forest Whitaker and Dwight Yoakam) have designs on something valuable left behind by the previous owners…

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp2kKzrCm44

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Turns out there’s a safe inside the panic room that they want to get to. The panic room that Meg and Sarah are hiding in. Inside the safe? A cool 22 mil in bonds; split three ways, that’s mucho moolah for our intrepid ne’er do wells. Can the diabolical trio clear the women out of the safe room, claim the booty, and get away scott free? Or is Meg more resourceful than they bargained for?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villains’ scheme? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Just like Lloyd Christmas in his dreams”

The panel of peril valmorphanize their gondola into a very slim car, straighten their ties, cock their eyebrows suggestively, and then take in a viewing of this week’s film Moonraker!

Moonraker (1979), directed by Lewis Gilbert, find Roger Moore’s James Bond locked in a game of wits with Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) when a Moonraker space shuttle is stolen in very mysterious circumstances. With the iconic Jaws (Richard Kiel) in hot pursuit, Bond must unravel the mystery of the missing spacecraft and determine exactly what it is that Drax’s scientists are doing with a lab full of orchids.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFOOjYU16KE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Naturally, there’s a lot more to Drax’s evil scheme than first meets the eye. He plans on taking those he deems humanity’s best and brightest to his space station orbiting Earth. Why? To ride out the poisonous atmosphere that he intends to unleash upon the planet, only returning to terra firma when it is safe to do so and repopulate. Bond’s got his work cut out for him this time – will he succeed in foiling Elon Musk Hugo Drax’s plan?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Radiohead’s version of the SPECTRE theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COP0XlYHvto

Music by Lexin Music via Pixabay

“Buffy The Empire Slayer”

The panel of peril sit on a sofa as it slowly lowers into a steamy hole in the ground. Once they re-emerge you see that they are encased in carbonite to watch this week’s film Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Irvin Kershner, 1980).

The continuing adventures of Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) and Han Solo (Harrison Ford), see them try to outrun Darth Vader (James Earl Jones/Dave Prowse), train with kooky little psycho wiener Yoda (Frank Oz), and hide out with old pal Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) in Cloud City.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNwNXF9Y6kY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

But… IT’S A TRAP! Lando has taken an ever-altering deal with Vader to turn over his rebel scum chums in exchange for the safety of his city. And the Dark Lord of the Sith has a stunning revelation for the Tatooine farmboy too! To quote R2D2 “yeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooowwwww!”

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most Sithy/diabolical?

“Does it pass mustard?”

Removing their tiny hands from the Washington Veterans’ Memorial, the panel of peril valmorphanise to their landmark bases to discuss Team America: World Police. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2004, Team America takes satirical aim at the culture of celebrities interjecting themselves into high-level world politics, action movie cliches, American exceptionalism, and the bizarre proclivities of foreign dictators. Brought to you by South Park’s Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Team America is one for the ages.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMyJWuvW_9k

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Kim Jong-il has a lot to deal with: weapons inspections, crippling loneliness and interfering American secret ops units. All he wants to do is reduce every nation on Earth to a third world country by detonating a series of bombs during the course of his North Korean Peace Festival (deep breath). Can Team America foil his dastardly scheme?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

“I’d feel vulnerable in little pants and a vest”

The panel of peril wake up from hypersleep (normal sleep really), cough for absolutely ages, have a quick brekkie, and stick on Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic Alien.

The Nostromo mining ship is on its return journey to Earth when it intercepts a distress beacon form LV 426. But Dallas (Tom Skerritt), Brett (Harry Dean Stanton), Parker (Yaphet Kotto) and Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) find more than they bargained for on the planet’s surface. In space no one can hear you say “ermahgerd an alien(s),” after all.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ5lPt9edzQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

What the crew don’t know is that they have a Company stooge on board, the android named Ash (Ian Holm), and he has been given a diabolical task. They are to locate an alien species on LV 426, and return it to Earth – crew expendable. There must surely be a hero amongst the crew of the Nostromo who can stop him (Ripley)? And if there is no hero (Ripley) then who can possibly stop the Company and their drive for profits (Ripley)?

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Music by Lexin_Music from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Like an alien Kinder Egg”

The panel of peril are playing chess in the park with their father and losing badly, very sad. They are interrupted by an enormous screen descending from the heavens covering the city that they are currently in in its entirety. Fortunately, the giant screen is showing this week’s film Independence Day (Roland Emmerich, 1996). Huzzah!

Steven Hiller (Will Smith), David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman) are the original odd triple. One’s a hot shot, top gun fighter pilot, one’s a nerd, and t’other is President of the United States!!! But when aliens arrive on Earth without ringing ahead to check it’s okay first, our triptych of colossal talent will need to come together to expel those inconvenient visitors.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1E7h3SeMDk

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Yes, rather like an uninvited visitor who rinses you of your secret stash of foie gras and cognac, these off world interlopers plan to strip the plant – our god damn planet – of all its resources leaving us humans either bereft or dead. Not on the USA’s watch, buckos. Galvanising the entire planet against this deadly incursion, will endure or will those awful, awful martians have their tentacles raised in victory?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the aliens’ planet-knackering plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“I’ll be the Danny Ocean of stealing from children”

The panel of peril don their blazer, matching shorts, and matching caps and pretend to be children whilst watching this week’s film Clifford (Paul Flaherty, 1994). They are joined by their new friend: Seth Vargas from Movie Friends Podcast!

Clifford (Martin Short) is precocious little so and so. He’s fond of annoying his parents into an early grave, splitting up ostensibly happy couples, and, of course, show tunes! But when the young tyke is fobbed off on his Uncle Martin (Charles Grodin), Clifford spies an opportunity to fulfil his dream of visiting Dinosaur World – his dream theme park – and Martin spies an opportunity to impress the love of his life Sarah (Mary Steenburgen) with his parenting skills! What could go wrong?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0o9SkZUTNA

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Luckily Martin is the very person who designed the Larry the Scary Rex ride at that very park! That’s everything wrapped up in a neat little package-uh! But wait, there’s more. Uncle Martin reneges on his promise to the young/old fella, due to work demands mind you, and from thereon it be war! Will the boy destroy the man or vice versa? There’s only one way to find out: fiiiiiiiiiight!

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon whichever character they have determined is the bad guy’s plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Sipping from a space-china teacup”

The Panel of Peril make comment about being a leaf on the wind or somesuch prior to being skewered by a large wooden pole directly through the chest. In their death throes they just about have time to watch this week’s film Serenity (Joss Whedon, 2005).

Mal (Nathan Fillion), Zoe (Gina Torres) and Wash (Alan Tudyk) run the good ship Serenity. Also aboard is traumatised fugitive River (Summer Glau) and her brother Simon (Sean Maher) who are on the run from the intergalactic Alliance. Specifically a man known as The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) who must stop her revealing a devastating secret that could shape the governing body to its very core!

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8JNjmK5lfk

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Turns out River knows the secret of a planet where the terraforming process ‘failed’: Miranda. The Alliance dosed the population with a drug to make them passive/compliant which resulted in death for most. For the rest, they were turned into the insane, cannibalistic Reavers. Bit of a silly error on The Alliance’s part all things considered. Can the crew of Serenity reveal the secret to all, or will The Operative silence them forever?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Music: Far From The City - Pixabay

Music: President Garfields Inauguration By John Philip Sousa - Pixabay

“He is a bit of a patsy. He’s a little b!tch”

The panel of peril settle down with a delicious-looking, open topped, fried egg sandwich to watch this week’s cinematic treat Studio Ghibli’s Castle In The Sky (Hayao Miyazaki, 1986).

Sheeta (Anna Paquin) and Pazu (James Van Der Beek) are two young rapscallions on the hunt for the adventure, primarily centred around Sheeta’s mysterious crystal necklace. That necklace saves her from certain doom several times over and may well lead her to the lost sky city of Laputa and the titular castle. But with sky pirates, the army and the mysterious Muska (Mark Hamill) on their trail will they make it in one piece?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ykEy-yPBFc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Not only does the necklace lead Sheeta, her friends, and her enemies to Laputa but it has the ability to harness the power of the floating island. Power that Muska – a long lost relative of Sheeta! – wants to harness for his own nefarious ends. There’s also a bunch of really cool robots who have become one with nature to contend with. But who’s magnificent flying machines will travel fast enough to claim the prize first?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music Inspiring Emotional Uplifting Piano - Pixabay

Music Relaxing Birds and piano music - Pixabay

Everybody gather ‘round and enjoy a nice cool glass of Laputa juice with this tie-in trailer: https://youtu.be/REUvSmsPzlI?si=FWdkANekdxjO_cqD

"So it's a suicide mission?"

The inaugural meeting of the panel of peril has us chatting about 1964’s quintessential James Bond flick Goldfinger. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Directed by Guy Hamilton and starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe, Honor Blackman and Harold Sakata. See the trailer here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA65V-oLKa8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Goldfinger plans to irradiate Fort Knox’s supply of gold bullion by detonating a dirty bomb from inside the complex, thus pushing up the value of his own reserves. The only thing that stands in his way is a fella named Bond. James Bond. Can the suave secret agent beat Goldfinger and henchpeople Oddjob and Pussy Galore in a race against time to the most secure building in America?

Just what did the panel think of the film? What plans do they have to level up Goldfinger’s scheme? And who will be victorious in this week’s competition?

“You are my number one guy – tickle me!”

Removing a grappling gun from their utility belt(s) before aiming and shooting it skyward, the panel of peril zip up to an overhead gantry to watch this week’s film Batman (Tim Burton, 1989).

Batman (Billy Crystal/Michael Keaton) is emerging from the shadows of Gotham City as conspiracy theories about him find their way into the news. Gotham’s police force is riddled with corruption. And local, mid-level gangster Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson) has just taken a tumble into a vat of chemicals, courtesy of Bats. The collision course is set; who shall prevail?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgC9Q0uhX70

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Love that Joker! He’s only throwing a big parade, with entertainment, and $20m in cash being redistributed amongst Gotham’s working class! Whadda guy! Or is he? What about that Smylex chemical he’s put in cleaning products that causes people to die laughing? Batman doesn’t think it’s a very nice thing to do, and neither do we! Can the Caped Crusader stop the Clown Prince of Crime becoming the city’s newest top dog, mob boss?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effects from Pixabay

Sound Effect by Music_For_Videos from Pixabay

Music by Humanoide_Media from Pixabay

Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Sound Effect by SUBMORITY from Pixabay

“Stay in your lane, Heston”

The panel of peril feed their cats (cat food). They next feed their dogs. Finally… finally… they are ready to watch this week’s film Cats & Dogs (Lawrence Guterman, 2001). They are joined by Harley Mumford from Fandomentals podcast, who has also just fed his dog.

A look at the top-secret, high-tech espionage war going on between cats and dogs, of which their human owners are blissfully unaware, Cats & Dogs features a talented voice cast including Tobey Maguire, Alec Baldwin, Sean Hayes and Joe Pantoliano. Which species shall win this particular war? Whoever wins, we lose. Or not.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ5RCk1iCY8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Those dastardly cats plan to take over the world in one fell swoop by releasing a pathogen which will render every human being allergic to our canine friends. Truly diabolical, I’m sure you’ll agree. Will they succeed, or will those silly doggos remain our best collective best friend?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic soupcon? Could they find a way to improve the feline’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“He’s like someone who can see their dinner coming a mile away”

The panel of peril receive a phone call from an old friend and feel the fog of memories lost clear from their minds. Settling into a long flight home, they turn on this week’s film IT (Tommy Lee Wallace, 1990).

The Losers are a group of ordinary kids, they like messing around in the woods, telling jokes, and being bullied by a bunch of douchebags. Maybe not that last one. But when a killer named Pennywise The Dancing Clown (Tim Curry) targets them, and the adults don’t help, they take matters into their own hands.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i3_2iGTQi8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The Losers defeat Pennywise and think him dead, but when he returns 30 years later so too must they to finish what they started. Featuring an all-star cast including John Ritter, Annette O’Toole and Seth Green, IT tells the tale of Pennywise’s quest for revenge against those damn Losers who took him down all those years ago.

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

The Chuckle Brothers play Hitman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh_6qXsOrK4

Scotch (Video) Tape Ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJzRpgXvM2I

“No one smells what space smells like when you scream… in space”

A theremin plays that one thing that it can do in the background as the panel of peril walk through a small graveyard filled with (five or six) wobbly tombstones. They are searching for the screening room for this week’s film Plan 9 From Outer Space (Ed Wood, 1957).

In what some have dubbed the ‘worst film ever made’, SEE! zombies rise from the grave (Bela Lugosi, Vampira, Tor Johnson)! WATCH! in horror as they slowly shamble about killing the living and that! VIEW! the alien spacecraft that hovers ominously and perhaps controls the nefarious creatures! Will humanity prevail???

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiZp2sXkVUg

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Yes, dear listener, the glistening chrome spaceship from beyond the stars holds the power to control the undead! But not for pure malice, friends. No. They mean to prevent a man-made apocalypse of the entire universe, thanks to the human discovery of solaronite: the very real, the very dangerous substance that explodes sunlight particles that fill both human and inhuman air! Can the humans prevent this diabolical plan to save the universe, or shall we become death the destroyer of worlds?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the aliens’s plan (9)? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Catching blood in a Snap, Crackle and Pop bowl”

The panel of peril throw themselves in front of a gunman during a prison escape, get bundled into a high-tech plane, transported to the hidden nation of Wakanda, and upon waking go “Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” They then watch the MCU’s Black Panther before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. Normal Monday stuff.

Black Panther (2018) sees T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) struggle to modernise the country he presides over, and he is hindered by challenges from within (M’Baku played by Winston Duke) and without (Killmonger played by Michael B. Jordan and Klaue played by Andy Serkis). Can T’Challa stave off those threats, protect his nation and atone for his family’s past misdeeds?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjDjIWPwcPU

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Eric Killmonger is a man with a chip on his shoulder. Cousin of T’Challa, his claim to the throne of Wakanda is fuelled by the trauma of witnessing his father’s murder at the hands of (former Wakandan sovereign) King T’Chaka as a child, and the burden of the weight of history of African Americans being sold into slavery. He’s a powder keg ready to explode, but will he succeed in a hostile takeover of Wakanda and then the planet?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villains’ masterplan? And who will be coronated this week’s most diabolical?

Music by 24414830 from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“I know you're being light-hearted, but baguettes are way stronger than a sausage roll”

‘Are you not entertained!’ scream the panel of peril at their slack-jawed neighbours, wearing just a comical pair of white y-fronts. They are entertained; very much so. With that, they pick up their bottle of milk and head inside to watch this week’s film Gladiator (Ridley Scott, 2000).

General Maximus (Russell Crowe) has it all – sweet fur cape, legion of dudes fighting at his side, and a family waiting for his safe return from war. He too has the favour of Roman Caesar Marcus Aurelias (Richard Harris) which may prove to be his undoing, as Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) has a serious case of the green-eyed monster for his father’s position. Will the cowardly and jealous Commodus accede to Caesar’s will and allow Maximus to lead Rome, or does he have something altogether more diabolical planned? ((Yes) to the second bit))

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BLZbrLogTo

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Commodus decides the simplest course of action is to simply kill his own father, assume the role of Caesar, have Maximus and his entire family killed – Bob’s your Uncle, Fanny’s your Aunt. There’s just one problem: Maximus does not take kindly to his attempted murder, and kills his would-be killers instead! A series of unfortunate events sees the Spaniard enslaved, eventually arriving back in Rome as a gladiator of some renown. Are Commodus’ days numbered, or can he finish off his nemesis for good? ((Yes) to the first bit))

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Commodus’ campaign of murderous intent? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“She had the longest neck in the history of actors”

The Peril of Peril arrive in Los Angeles, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Everyone loves them because they’re brilliant, and they make fast friends with an amnesiac who tells them to watch this week’s film Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001). A Cowboy watches them as they watch the film.

Betty (Naomi Watts) is an actress who is sure to feature on all the hottest casting lists in LA. She is great. But when she gets drawn into the mystery surrounding the amnesiac ‘Rita’ (Laura Harring), the twosome find themselves struggling to comprehend a world filled with missing cash, put upon mafiosos, blue keys, a put upon movie director (Justin Theroux), a diner named Winkie’s, a club named Silencio, and a calmly intimidating Cowboy (Monty Montgomery).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbZJ487oJlY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

What happens next is famously open to interpretation. Revealing a new set of characters, near identical in appearance, over 90 minutes in, again played by Watts and Harring, hints that perhaps everything was a dream until that point, or perhaps they are doppelgangers, or whatever you would like it to be. You really do need to see it for yourself, and come to your own conclusion, folks.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the evil scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“I know you think of yourself as a Mark Wahlberg-type character”

The panel of peril wipe the unsightly chunk of banana off the side of their mouth and slip into something more comfortable to watch this week’s film The Naked Gun (David Zucker, 1988).

Police Squad’s finest, Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), is tasked with investigating an attack on Det. Nordberg (OJ Simpson) just as the city is expecting a huge visit from Queen Elizabeth II (Jeannette Charles). Questioning local property magnate Vincent Ludwig (Ricardo Montalban) leads Drebin down a path that sees both events intertwine and begin a relationship with his assistant, the delightful Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S476PqNJkPM

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Jane digs up some startling info on her boss. Not only is he trafficking illegal goods through the city docks, but he has cut a sweet deal to have the Queen assassinated. His method? Mind control. His hitman? A baseball player, during a game that her Maj will be in attendance for! Can our incredible investigator find which player has their sights set on Queenie, or will Ludwig succeed and become slightly richer than he is already is?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Ludwig’s regicidal plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Here’s that bit from Police Squad that Ben mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo

And Gaz and Craig's appearance on the Fandomentals podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mno0arNicnZmgVGaMLz8c?si=fXd6t0bTRTOSVWJh0LY28Q 

“It’s like a meet-cute for two people who already met some time ago”

The Panel of Peril go to the travel agents to book themselves a lovely holiday. Their conditions for travel are thus: nice weather, entertainment provided by British reggae band, and strictly no terrorists. While the agent searches for the ideal trip, they watch this week’s film Speed 2: Cruise Control (Jan De Bont, 1997). Peering over their shoulder to join in the watch party is this week’s guest, Kris Tapley from the 50MPH Pod!

How can kind of a similar thing happen to the same person twice? That’s the question Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) asks herself as she and latest beau Alex Shaw (Jason Patric) fall foul of a bad guy’s evil scheme. But instead of a fairly high-speed bus, John Geiger (Willem Dafoe) has taken (cruise) control of a luxury liner for his own nefarious ends.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnvvh9PLWGQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Geiger has an axe to grind with the cruise operators who left him with copper poisoning and sent him packing once he had designed the ship’s computer systems. Well, you would, wouldn’t you? He plans to divert the Seabourn Legend off course and into the path of an oil tanker, bringing the passengers’ lives to an explosive end.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Geiger’s evil plot? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Father Ted’s version of Speed 3 is previewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSstu2tzrng

Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Rager At Sea is previewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6WUFc_8MFw

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“A haiku?”

Fighting their way past a load of goons, down a narrow corridor, the panel of peril struggle to make any headway. Finally finishing off the last of the lads (no laughing at the back there!), they slump in their chair exhausted and watch this week’s film Oldboy (Park Chan-wook, 2003).

Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik) is a bit of a d-bag. A drunken, irresponsible, womanising d-bag, to be specific. When he is inexplicably locked up in a single room for 15 years, by a cash-rich lad named Lee Woo-jin (Yoo Ji-tae) as it turns out, he changes his ways and becomes a stoic killing machine. Why was he imprisoned, and just how does new flame Mi-do (Kang Hye-jeong) fit into this intricate puzzle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNBpNcuQHI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Turns out that during their time at Evergreen, Dae-su started a scurrilous rumour that Woo-jin was having an incestuous affair with his own sister Soo-ah (Yoon Jin-seo). That rumour snowballed to the point that Soo-ah took her own life and led her broken-hearted brother on a path of long game vengeance. To tell all would be a spoiler too far. Who will come out on top of this tragic tussle and what will be left of them?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Woo-jin’s deliberate machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“All things considered, I won’t be dressing up as The Matrix for Halloween anytime soon”

Waking up from an impromptu early evening nap at their work desk, the panel of peril are alarmed to find their computer seeming to type out words of its own accord. Those words? “Settle in and watch this week’s film The Matrix (The Wachowskis, 1999).” Woah.

Thomas Anderson (Keanu Reeves) is a workaday office drone with a side-line in computer hacking. But when he is contacted by the mysterious Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) on behalf of the mysterious Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), well that is when the mystery becomes truly mystifying. The world that we know is nothing but the simulation of machines that have taken over in the real world, using humans only as a power source by plugging them into The Matrix. Woah.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKQi3bBA1y8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Being unplugged from The Matrix and joining the resistance in the real world, Neo soon learns that he is The One; the saviour of mankind who will lead the fight to overthrow the machines. But The Matrix has other ideas (it’s a tricky sod, like that) and deploys programs such as Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) and turncoats such as Cypher (Joe Pantoliano) to ensure the humans don’t get apricot one. Woah.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? (Woah)

Music by 26836267 from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Here lies Will Carling, the rugby guy who sh@gg3d Diana”

The panel of peril try to wrangle their pigs into the pigpen but repeatedly fall over and get all muddy. They shower off at the water hole and decide to watch a film instead: Unforgiven (Clint Eastwood, 1992).

1880: Ex-outlaw Bill Munny (Eastwood) was a bad, bad man before settling down and becoming a family man. He’d happily off women and children in his pursuit of dough alongside buddy Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), and now he is drawn back into that world by the Schofield Kid (Jaimz Woolvet). Pursuing a bounty put on the heads of two lads who have scarred up a sex worker’s face. Will Munny claim the  bounty? One man stands in his way – unscrupulous Sheriff Little Bill (Gene Hackman).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftTX4FoBWlE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Little Bill is no fan of bounty hunters, gun slingers, ‘n’ outlaws. Just as quickly as they arrive in the town of big Whiskey, Bill is kicking the tar out of them and sending them on their merry way. Will Bill, Ned and the Kid be able to circumnavigate the control freak lawman, and will the claiming of the bounty cost them more than they stand to gain?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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"I'm just wondering, has any of the Panel of Peril ever stayed in a cabin in the woods?"

"My sister's been to Center Parks"

The panel of peril laugh hysterically at a mounted deer’s head, then a lamp, then sit on a rocking chair to watch this week’s film, Evil Dead 2 (Sam Raimi, 1987). The chair collapses.

Ash (Bruce Campbell) is heading into his second day in a haunted, secluded cabin in the woods. His only company? Demons, Deadites and ghouls, including a particularly nasty hag named Henrietta (Ted Raimi). Can Ash hold back the hordes until dawn, or will the paranormal trouble-makers swallow his soul?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lM3NPeEG24

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Enlisting the help of Annie (Sarah Berry), Jake (Dan Hicks) and Bobbie Jo (Kassie Wesley DePaiva), Ash must retrieve the missing pages of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, roughly translated the Book of the Dead. But could it be possible that reading those missing pages is all part of Henrietta’s evil scheme?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Music: Happy Birthday to You Ska - Pixabay

“Magic Michael is my father. You can call me Magic Mike”

The panel of peril roll 2 D20s, snake eyes. They roll again: snake eyes. They roll for a third time – snake eyes. The hell with this, they collectively groan and instead switch on this week’s film Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley, 2023).

A merry band of thieves comprising bard Edgin (Chris Pine), barbarian Holga (Michelle Rodriguez) and mage Simon (Justice Smith) set course for Neverwinter in order to retrieve Edgin's daughter and head off for some precious loot. But, in a shocking twist, former gang members Forge (Hugh Grant) and Sofina (Daisy Head) block their progress at every turn. What ever shall they do?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiMinixSXII

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Forge may think that he is the one in charge as the ruler of Neverwinter, but it is actually Sofina whose scheme is truly diabolical. She plans to utilise the High Sun Games to create an army of undead in order to rule with an iron fist over all races. Oh my bloody God! If there’s anyone ill-equipped to fight such a scourge, then it’s surely a ragtag gang of losers. Or is iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Sofina’s duplicitous masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Let’s not be centaur-mental about this”

The panel of peril lay down their trusty jackhammers after a hard day’s graft at the old concrete factory. They’ll have a quick shower and pop this week’s film into their frontal cortex… it’s Total Recall (Paul Verhoeven, 1990).

Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is an ordinary Earth-bound schmo-hawk who dreams of a more exciting life… on Mars. Fortunately, memory implantation company Rekall have the means to make Quaid think he was, in fact, a secret agent… on Mars. But unfortunately for him, it turns out he already was a secret on Mars… or was he? With the shadowy Richter (Michael Ironside), and wife cum enemy Lori (Sharon Stone), on his tail this is one slightly confusing mission… on Mars.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=684nkWhd658

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Mega-capitalist Cohaagen (Ronny Cox) rules the working stiffs of Mars with an iron fist, and firm control over the oxygen supply to the colonisers. In order to quell unrest among the proles he has had his secret right-hand man Quaid (!), nee Hauser, go undercover amongst the rebels in order to find their mysterious leader Kuato and neutralise him. It’s all very simple to follow, but will the plan succeed?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan… on Mars? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Samoa Joe vs. Kenta Kobashi from Ring of Honor can be watched here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7RpSxESOFk

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“He likes his omelette empty”

The panel of peril put on a black shirt, black suit, black tie, black shoes, and black sunglasses before settling in to watch the film of the week Grosse Pointe Blank (George Armitage, 1997).

Martin (John Cusack) is a professional hitman who likes to keep things simple; no friends, acquaintances, or company meetings on his agenda thank you very much. So when fellow hitman Grocer (Dan Aykroyd) tries to enlist him in his new union, Martin is somewhat less than keen to take him up on the offer. Cue one monumental, and deadly, strop from the balding baddie.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF7t91gbSf8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Neatly tying together a visit to his high school reunion in Grosse Point with his latest hit job, Martin hopes to reconnect with jilted prom night flame Debi (Minnie Driver). Unbeknownst to him, two NSA agents (Hank Azaria and K. Todd Freeman) and the aforementioned Grocer are tailing him, waiting for a chance to pounce and catch him on the job. Will Martin and/or Debi make it through the high school reunion alive?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“It’s ephemeral, you can’t touch it”

The panel of peril know what’s up, and what’s up is having a good old chinwag about The Invisible Man from nouveau horror maestro Leigh Whannell. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2020, The Invisible Man retools HG Wells literary classic for the modern age as a tale of spousal abuse, mental health abuse and technology gone wrong. But don’t worry, it’s actually a lot of fun and not quite as grim as it sounds. Can Cecilia expose Griffin as the madman he truly is?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSBsNeYqh-k

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) is an abusive husband who has a pathological need to control everything that his wife Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss) does. When he ‘dies’, Cecilia spirals into near psychosis at the thought that he is still following and watching her – torturing her from beyond the grave… or is there a more to it than that?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Hear Tom Cruise’s bizarre scream in the trailer for The Mummy here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41vArfMDmmo

Tickets for The Big Scream Halloween Film Festival can be found here: https://www.forbiddenworldsfilmfestival.co.uk/

“Mama Fratelli as played by Rip Torn”

The panel of peril activate some sort of Rube Goldberg device, put on a hard-wearing pair of boots that are ideal for spelunking (or so the Littlewoods catalogue description said), then settle in to watch the first film of season 2, The Goonies!

The Goonies features an all-star cast of child stars (Josh Brolin, Sean Astin, Ke Huy Quan, Corey Feldman) on the hunt for One Eyed Willie’s lost treasure. But there’s a family of criminals fast on their trail named the Fratellis. Along with a mysterious sibling known only as Sloth…

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFEfHCJG4G4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Oh my, my, my, those wonderful little Goonies and their search for that pirate treasure. See how they go looking in caves and pirate ships and that. Ha ha, ho ho! But what’s this; a bunch of baddies chasing them whilst trying to evade the police and what have you? Ha ha ha, delightful! Will The Goonies find the treasure, or will the Fratellis nab it for themselves and escape with the loot?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villains’ masterplan (such as it is)? And who will be coronated this week’s most diabolical?

Music by 27202754 from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Why would you pre-make pancake batter?”

The panel of peril take a large glug from a strong bottle of something hidden within a brown bag as they trudge downtown. They’re on their way home to watch this week’s film, Little Shop Of Horrors (Frank Oz, 1986).

Seymour (Rick Moranis) and Audrey (Ellen Greene) are two unlucky-in-love florists assistants hoping for a better future, away from their dead-end jobs and Skid Row digs. Their luck appears to be in when Seymour brings a wonderful new species of plant – dubbed Audrey II (Levi Stubbs) into the store and it proves a smash hit, bringing in custom beyond their wildest dreams. But at what cost?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqFZuR6UzjA

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The cost be that the wondrous new fauna is capable of both speech and devouring human flesh. So, quite a big cost as it turns out. Sure it might pay dividends when trying to get rid of Audrey’s abusive boyfriend (Steve Martin), but Audrey II’s plan to enter every home in America will surely result in mankind’s annihilation, and therefore is probably a net negative. Can Seymour and Audrey stop the lyrical dragon before time runs out?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Audrey II’s plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Is Vienetta Italian?”

The panel of peril take a break from slamming each other’s heads inside the fridge door over and over and over again to watch this week’s film: Guest House Paradiso (Adrian Edmondson, 1999).

Richie Twat (Rik Mayall) and Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba (Edmondson) run perhaps the worst guest house on our fair isle. It’s dark, dingy, they’ll steal your belongings, insult you, feed you slop, and are situated adjacent to a nuclear facility. An unexpected guest arrives in Italian starlet Gina Carbonara (Helene Mahieu) bringing not only prestige with her, but troublesome jilted fiancé Gino Bolognese (Vincent Cassel). Two words for you: uh ohhhhhhhhhh!

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNsP8SIRGIs&t=15s

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Arriving on the scene to TAKE the hand of his lover, Gino won’t have any guff from Richie and Eddie, and isn’t shy about letting them know that. Featuring an all-star cast including Simon Pegg, Bill Nighy and Kate Ashfield, Guest House Paradiso is the Bottom spin-off that shows us the true meaning of the phrase ‘don’t eat irradiated fish, because it will make you violently ill’.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

Music: Upbeat Quirky Background Jazz - Pixabay

Music: The Show Intro - Pixabay

Watch the making of the film here: Guest House Paradiso - Behind The Scenes (youtube.com)

Read all about The Little Mermaid’s phallic castle turret here: https://reelrundown.com/animation/What-You-Didnt-See-HIdden-Disney-Images-The-Little-Mermaid

“I’ve never considered what the plural of rectum is before now”

The panel of peril sit down in the cinema to watch this week’s film before getting sucked off into the film and then being inside the film. That film? Last Action Hero (John McTiernan, 1993), of course!

Young Danny (Austin O’Brien) is something of a cinephile, and his favourite series – Jack Slater – is poised to release its fourth instalment. When he is invited to a private screening and given a ticket imbued with the power of Harry Houdini (!), he gets more than he bargained for as he enters the world of the film and meets his hero, Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4JTnLmcEEo

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Danny’s insistence on letting the characters of Slater IV has the unfortunate side effect of glass-eyed-henchman Benedict (Charles Dance) becoming self-aware and escaping to the real world. There he will enlist the help of other movie villains in a quest to eliminate star Arnold Schwarzenegger (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and therefore Slater himself. Can Danny and Slater stop this lunatic without the aid of action movie logic?

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

Sound Effect by MabelAmber from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by QubeSounds from Pixabay

“De Palma knows, the old saying goes”

Our name is Possible, Mission: Impossible, license to watch the film Mission: Impossible directed by cinematic genius Brian De Palma (1996). And that my friends is our impossible mission (impossible). And we did it.

An elite IMF team led by Jim Phelps (Jon Voight) has come a serious cropper trying to secure a non-official cover (NOC) list, which could potentially reveal the entire Impossible Mission Force’s workforce, locations, and names. The team are double-crossed in Prague eliminating Sarah (Kristin Scott Thomas), Jack (Emilio Estevez) et al leaving just Ethan (Tom Cruise) and Claire (Emmanuelle Beart) standing. Disavowed and on the run, can they swipe the real NOC list and discover the mole?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohws8y572KE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

It’s Phelps and his femme fatale wife Claire, darn it all! A cat and mouse game ensues, spanning from the CIA’s headquarters in Langley, to the Channel Tunnel rail line that runs beneath the English Channel. Time is not on Ethan’s side as the IMF, led by Kittridge (Henry Czerny), hunt Hunt down as he engages in a potentially deadly game of brinkmanship in attempting to forge the sale of the NOC list to arms dealer Max (Vanessa Redgrave) in order to draw out the Lando of the team. Yes, it is quite complicated to keep track of it all!

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Phelps’s evil plot? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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