Decades From Home - A Podcast About Germany (40% German)

This week, Nic and Simon discuss why Corny bars make good podcasting fuel, they find out what a stave church is and why moving one is test of German community spirit, and why fireworks are a hazard during German New Years celebrations.

The week, Simon admits he can't use social media, Nic deals with being a massive prude and we find out what Germans like to put at the top of their mountains.

This week, Nic and Simon discuss why British communication is useless in Germany, Tesla’s new gigafactory in Northern Germany, Covid lockdown and its impact on mental health and how a 67 year old man drove for 40 years without a driving license.

This week, Nic and Simon discuss festive differences in Germany and Britain, why the names of German cities keep repeating, the small town of Fickenhof, the legal fight over Pippi Longstockings and why a naked carnival prince is too much for one German city.

A bit of a different discussion this week, we look at how we got to Germany, where we call “home” and ask ourselves what we miss about the UK.

Also, Simon explains why he’s over jokes about Dinner for One.

This week, Nic and Simon discuss changes to how German storms are named, why a new German TV show about raising children has caused a storm of complaints, the troubles of German hairdressers and why a simple sauna sparked calls to the police.

This week, Nic and Simon discuss hunting for elusive FFP2 masks, skyscrapers in Munich and Germany’s tall buildings, footballers breaking lockdown for a haircut, traditional German bakeries dying out, and Why a German man’s missing password is the key to a $240 million fortune.

This week, Nic and Simon discuss problems with passwords, baby names in Berlin, why your name is important for the covid vaccine roll out in Saxony, why Berlin’s new airport is a potential health hazard and breaking up covid house parties in house shoes.

This week Nic & Simon discuss whether pickle juice is a viable alternative to salt or grit for frozen roads, issues of recycling and waste in lockdown and do the English really get drunk the most?

This week Nic & Simon discuss an update on Tesla in Brandenburg, hidden treasure, drama at Schalke 04 and demolishing your own home.

This week Simon & Nic discuss travelling without leaving the house, Birkenstocks and German footwear, controversial changes to the German dictionary, the British pub crisis and the Millions worth of beer being thrown away in Germany.

This week Simon & Nic discuss a woman giving birth outside in -15 temperatures, Hartz IV recipients getting FFP2 masks after winning a legal battle and a father spying on his daughter’s conversations with teacher getting a heavy fine.

This week Simon & Nic discuss parental leave, Lucky numbers and German superstitions, the “wisdom” of football coaches, the campaign to support gay footballers and 1,200 new German words inspired by Covid.

This week Simon & Nic discuss Introducing Germans to good British food, our favourite German music, was Immanuel Kant a racist, an unexploded World War II bomb in Exeter and accent change when living abroad.

This week Simon & Nic discuss road rage and if Germany is less violent than the UK, how insulting people on German roads can lead to heavy fines and even jail time, one German who found the fines for insulting police officers can get very expensive very fast, the proposed new laws in UK to shutdown protests and why swearing in English is so popular in Germany and why many people get it wrong.

As Nic finishes up his work on the house, we have a chance for a SUMMER REPEAT!!!!

Simon & Nic discuss flags and national symbols as we look at different ideas on national flags coming out of Germany, the UK and the US. We discuss new flag rules in the UK, if the US has more rules than Germany when it comes to flag flying, whether flying the German national flag is still an issue in Germany and Nic tests Simon’s knowledge of the flags of the German states.

On the show this week:

We’re talking German TV, often criticised as a bit rubbish, is German TV really so bad?  

How two German comedians who are making waves with an innovative idea for prime time TV.  Are there similar British/American TV innovations

A podcast on German TV has to mention Krimi dramas or crime dramas, top of the pile is the mighty Tatort. Shown weekly since the 1970s, what makes Tatort so interesting? Is it overrated? Can anything be that good for that long?

German TV is criticised for too much trash TV, but why does Simon love German trash TV and why might it be really helpful for German learners?

There are plenty of TV remakes on German TV, are they faithful to the originals? Are there any remakes of German TV in Britain? What would be a good German TV to remake in the UK or US?

On the show this week:

We’re talking German food, specifically sandwiches, Kebabs and cake.

We search for Danish bacon in Germany and ask why is it that German sandwiches leave so many people disappointed?

Simon reminisces about drunken kebab adventures in Cardiff and campaigns forcefully for high quality lunch-time Kebabs.

Finally we talk cake and what the German tradition of Kaffee und Kuchen has in common with the very English afternoon high tea.

On the show this week:

To celebrate reaching the dizzying height of 20 episodes, Simon & Nic take on the challenge of the 20 most frequently asked questions about Germany (plus a couple of twitter suggestions).

We tackle the tough topics, such as: ‘Why is German so hard?’,  ‘What’s the deal with the Autobahn?’,  ‘Why do Germans love Paprika flavoured crisps?’ and ‘Was David Hasselhoff really the saviour of Germany?’. 

Plus, Simon tells us about his favourite German pork dishes and Nic explains why the Germans are more polite than many people think. 

On the show this week:

Simon and Nic discuss how useful English is for work and do Germans actually enjoy speaking a different language in order to do their jobs. 

We go through the horror of English buzzwords with a quick round of bullshit bingo. 

We find out the truth of German business etiquette. 

Finally we tackle the terror inducing world of honest and direct German feedback. 

On the show this week:

Simons and Nic discuss moving house as Simon settles into his new home. Is it worth getting a moving company to help and what are some of the hidden downsides to the process.

We discuss the reintroduction of wolves and other wild animals to Germany and ask what you should do if you discover a wolf wandering down your street.

Oktoberfest 2021 may be cancelled in Germany, but Simon introduces an alternative option for those still hoping for some beer fuelled fun in Dubai of all places. Can a desert really replace the traditions of Munich?

The arrival of May gives Nic a chance to talk Maypoles and how German villages are keeping traditions alive despite social distancing.

Finally, Simon tries to make Nic uncomfortable with a story about finding sex toys in a tree and why a recent discovery in Germany sparked a bomb scare.

On the Show this week

Simon tackles the hit and miss nature of German shopping online to buy a new lawnmower, while Nic explains why he likes the indifference of German customer service.

We’re discussing romance and dating in Germany this week, Simon and Nic talk about how they met their wives and learn about the financial realities of online dating in Germany. We also find some of the more niche online dating websites.

We ask if the British are really as suave and sophisticated as they appear with a guide to dating in Britain and explain why the pub is an important place to meet new people.

Finally, we welcome our first guest to the podcast as 40percentgerman.com guest contributor Dilini Algama joins us to talk about her experiences of German dating and using dating apps in Germany.

On the show this week: 

We’re diving headfirst into the topic of music as Simon & Nic take you on a tour of their current playlists and ask ‘How much German music do you really listen to?’.

Simon takes us through some of the popular genres of German music and we find out some of the more bizarre musical misunderstandings between English language music and German speakers.  

Simon & Nic discuss the revelations over German based mask wearing musician Cro .

The lads question the logic of dog licenses for pet owners 

We finish on the whether it’s really possible to fake your own death, especially if you have a very photogenic dog.

On the show this week:

We’re talking about shopping this week, we begin with Nic’s obsession with British pork pies and Simon introduces some of the harder products to find in a German shop and suggest possible alternatives to British favourites.

Simon and Nic look at the curious world of the ever present high street favourite Tchibo and ask how a shop that sells an ever changing selection of random products can be so successful. 

Finally the lads try to find the best place to pick up the weekly shop, looking at the most popular supermarkets in Germany, why it’s easy to get lost in them and why friendly customer service is overrated.  

On the show this week:

Having finished moving house, Simon tells Nic all about it. Is moving house harder in Germany? Simon explains the differences between moving in the UK and Germany, the importance of good etiquette when moving and how to best reward anyone who’s willing to help out.

The lads discuss why painting before you leave is a double edged sword, what colour Nic really wants to paint his new house and why so many Germans seem to buy kitchens but not houses.

Finally, we look at a DW.com article on what people need to know about German apartments, Nic talks  housing estates vs Plattenbau and Simon questions whether we should be putting

On this weeks show:

Simons & Nic are increasingly optimistic as lockdown restrictions being to ease, Nic celebrates the end of the mask mandate in Augsburg by going on a one man pub crawl, but is drinking on your own on a public holiday really all it’s cracked up to be? 

Despite two decades in Germany between them, your hosts still find some parts of Germany a little strange, even at home there are many things that can cause confusion. Simon bemoans the lack of mixer taps in British kitchens and toilets, while Nic explains why Germany is ready for the Zombie apocalypse.

Simon introduces us to the world of Bernd das Brot, a depressed loaf of bread that has inexplicably become an award winning kids TV show character. Does a sad loaf of bread give us an insight into the Germany condition?

To finish off the show, Simon & Nic look to a post-pandemic future and talk fests, Lederhosen and their favourite beer festival, the Erlangen Bergkirchweih. 

On the show this week:
Nic comes down with a severe case of football fever and there ain’t no vaccine for that, the lads discuss the start of Euro 21 and the teams they plan on supporting. Simon tells Nic all about Dirk Nowitzki (the insurance salesman) in honour of the giant German’s birthday.

Following on from last week, Simon and Nic talk discuss funny German words they’ve still not fully got to grips with and explain why having a childish sense of humour is useful when speaking German. 

A failure in translation brings an end to a court case in the UK, Simon asks why translating German seems so difficult for a British judge and questions whether technology is the only failing of the UK court system.

Simon & Nic celebrate the return of German hero David Hasselhoff, the new official face of the vaccine roll out in Germany. Finally, Simon introduces us to the most rebellious musician in Switzerland, or at least the most rebellious Alpine horn player in Switzerland. 

On the show this week:

We’re talking two of our favorite topics this week football and beer, although the second of these is a little tricky for Simon as he recovers from partying with his neighbours. Nic explains why JFK is unfairly remembered in Germany for claiming to be doughnut and your hosts discuss marxist footballers and why a minority of English football fans are booing their own team.

Simon questions a recent Greenpeace protest that almost ended in total disaster and asks Nic how much money the podcast could knock off the value of a major soft drinks company. Finally, we end the show by deep diving into the topic of German beer and choose their own top five German beers.

On the show this week:
Simon celebrates Sebastian Vettel’s birthday and explains why the F1 driver holds British humour in such high regard. Despite their best efforts, the lads we can’t avoid talking football especially with the England v Germany fixture taking up so much of this week’s news. Simon & Nic talk about terrible media takes, football rivalries and who to support once your favourite team exits the tournament.

A new shop in Berlin proudly selling LSD to the masses attracts Simon’s attention and gives us a chance to talk about everyone’s favourite topic, sensible drug legislation! Finally we discuss traditional German health remedies and why going to a homoeopathic practitioners conference might be more fun than you think.

On the show this week:

After 30 episodes and some hard work over the last few months, Simon deservedly has taken the week off. Without the stabilising influence of Simon, Nic could easily have gone off the rails, but luckily for us he decided on a clipshow instead.

This week go back in time to hear conversations on a the connection between a fish and German music from episode 14, East Germany’s favourite car the Trabant from episode 15, Simon’s love of kebabs from Episode 19 and an interview with 40percentgerman.com guest contributor Dilini Algama on her experiences of German dating from episode 23.

On the show this week:

Simon returns from his sick bed and joins Nic to talk about some exciting changes to the podcast, There’s also the small matter of a football game to discuss. Simon and Nic commiserate over England’s loss and take some time to talk about the wider impact of a successful tournament on English culture and politics.

We also go back to episode 13 to hear about some curious German superstitions and why saying ‘Prost’ with a pint of beer isn’t as easy as you might think.

On the show this week:
Simon kicks-off the show celebrating Jürgen Klinsmann’s birthday and reminisces about one of his favourite footballers of all time and we talk about how Germans see Britain and whether either of us feel embarrassed when we have to explain some of the extreme news stories coming out of our former home.

We’re focusing on our adopted home this week, the mighty Freistaat Bayern. We talk the many differences between the 16 German states and why Bavaria could be compared to the English county of Yorkshire. We finish the show with a quick look at some of the best cities to visit in Bavaria.

On the show this week:
We’re finally taking our first steps back into the land of the normal as Simon joins a large group of foodies for a tour of Nürnberg, while Nic ventures out to visit the Augsburg Plärrer. We discuss the anniversary of the lowering of the German voting age in 1970 and take some time to celebrate the life of everyone’s favourite Chancellor, Willy Brandt.

We discuss the curious case of the “Peppa Effect” a supposed shifting of accents seen in US children due to overexposure to the cartoon Peppa Pig and ask if this is an example of British soft power in action. We question whether it’s true that “Everyone speaks English” in Germany and if it’s possible to live here without any German language skills and why the British are so bad at learning languages.

Finally we look at how native English speakers differ between the UK and the US and why sometimes it’s better to not copy what the British or American English speakers are saying.

On the show this week:

Simon has been buying fish, but much to Nic’s surprise he doesn’t plan on eating them with some chips. We celebrate the birthday of one of the most famous spies in history as we discuss the life of Mata Hari and her exploits spying for Germany during WWI.

Due to Nic’s life getting in the way, we’re bringing you some of our favourite segments from previous shows as we go back to episode 20 to hear our discussion on the increase in the wolf population of Germany and talk about the advantages and disadvantages of rewilding the German countryside. We then jump to episode 25’s discussion on Nic’s obsession with British pork pies and Simon introduces some of the harder products to find in a German shop and suggest possible alternatives to British favourites.

Finally we finish on the question of whether David Hasselhoff was really the reason that the Berlin wall fell and why it is that so many non-Germans think he’s a Deutsch icon from episode 20.

On the show this week:

We’re back for a full episode baby! Nic has finished laying floor and painting walls in his new home and he’s not entirely sure if DIY is really his thing, does Simon have the DIY DNA or is he as equally underwhelmed with the idea of putting up shelves and playing with power tools?

Nic and Simon ask whether there is any real need to buy a house, given that renting is so popular in Germany and we find out if Nic has managed to improve his German as well as his woodworking skills while he’s been away.

Since neither of the lads have been on holiday for a while, they finish the show by talking Stadtstrand or city beaches. they ask if the Germans really understand how to have a good beach holiday and whether it’s time to introduce some of the more popular British beach attractions to the city beaches of Germany.

On the show this week:
By god it’s Johann Goethe’s birthday! Simon wants to celebrate the birth of one (if not the) greatest Germans of all time, but Nic can’t help insulting the birthday boy.

The lad’s enjoy the annual list of Jugendwort des Jahres 2021 (Youth Word of the Year) and ponder whether their young or cool enough to use any of them. They also wonder what they even mean.

In an attempt to predict what words might feature on the list next year, Simon and Nic suggest some possible entries from a list of long forgotten English insults, will Breedbate make it or is it all just the work of two Flalpdoodlers?

Finally, Nic asks if swearing in German is really such a problem or is it just the English speaking community being oversensitive and over protective of their language in Germany.

On this week’s show:
Nic learns that like many things in Germany, there are some important rules to remember when ordering a takeaway. Simon talks about his love of currywurst and defends his favourite comfort food from his co-hosts food cynicism.
The lads celebrate the upcoming release of Sam Fender’s new album and take some time out from discussing the peculiarities of German life to discuss how mental health is a central part of the Geordie musicians work and why men, especially in the UK find it difficult to talk about their feelings. They also talk about how living in a different country has impacted them.

Finally, Simon and Nic ask if Germany has a class system similar to the UK and whether social class is obsessed over in the same way as their former home.

On the show this week:

We’re welcoming a guest host to the show this week as we’re joined by the writer Courtney Tenz! We discuss whether picking random fruit off trees is worth the risk, Bavarian vegetarian options, wedding anniversary gifts and Simon celebrates the arrival of a new David Hasselhoff album partly inspired by some classic German hits.

With the Federal elections only weeks away, Courtney explains the current state of German politics. Having arrived in Germany weeks before Angela Merkel became Chancellor, Courtney discusses the impact of Merkel’s time in office and what the future might hold for Germany.

On the show this week:

We welcome Dilli Algama back to the show and just in time for Simon to reveal his mystery anniversary gift from last week’s show. We kick things off by discussing trips to the zoo, Simon introduces Dilli to the red panda and we marvel at the many places that sell beer in Germany.

We talk about Zukunftsangst this week as we look at the supposed top ten German fears. We talk about what apparently scares Germans most about the future and look at some of the ways those fears are mitigated.  

In the final segment, we take a tour of the local Apotheke or pharmacy. Nic wonders if they have to look like medieval apothecaries, Dilli tells the lads why it’s sometimes difficult to get medication from the doctor and we all ask why Homeopathy is so prevalent in German medicine. 

On the show this week:
We’re joined by Richard from Ingolstadt, allowing us to form the mighty Bavarian triangle! Simon introduces us to one of his favourite German rappers, we talk Deutschrap, American influences and why different parts of Germany produce better music.   

Simon makes Richard feel welcome by bringing us a story from the UK and introducing us to a new term “Beaning”. What is it? Why is it? And why does it make Nic hate humanity? 

Nic can’t help talking about his favourite topic following a story about the increase in vegan pies, while Richard wonders why pies aren’t as popular in Germany. 

With the federal elections in Germany only hours away, we take the Wahl-o-mat quiz to find out which political parties we’re aligned with.

On the show this week:

We’re joined by Marty this week, better known as The Honorable Husband on Twitter, to talk Oktoberfest withdrawal and the pitfalls of living and working in a different language. 

Simon celebrates the Tag der deutschen Einheit (German Unity Day) and why it’s a little different from other national days around the world.

With sausages being used for political promotion and to entice people to get the Covid vaccine in Germany, Nic asks what other countries could offer their populations to improve vaccine uptake and why German politicians seem more “normal” than in the UK.

The lads finish up with a discussion on the words and phrases connected with Angela Merkel as she heads for the exit door.

On the show this week:

Simon takes in some amatuer football and we find a possible official Decades from Home football team, while Nic celebrates a new job. Release day coincides with “Curious events Day”, so Simon questions Nic on the Loch Ness Monster and why the Royal Family are lizard aliens.

A wild boar attack in Barcelona gives us a chance to ask whether German Boars are more mild mannered than their Catalonian brethren and ponder: what does all of this have to do with nude sunbathing.

Simon goes on a saucy adventure as he looks at a survey on the regional condiment choices in the UK and we ask what British condiment choices would work for our Pommes in Germany.

To finish off, Nic looks at two recent stories from Bavaria that suggest what kind of problems we might face at the post-pandemic Oktoberfest.

On the Show this week:

We welcome Dr. Sandra Jansen to the show, just in time to talk about controversial cocktail opinions and the recent takeover of Nic’s favourite football club, Newcastle United.

However, we didn’t ask the good doctor on to only talk booze and football. Sandra is a sociolinguist and she has more than a few interesting observations about how Nic and Simon speak. She teaches us how to recognise a Glottal Stop and various other phonetic points about Simon and Nic’s very different accents.

Simon introduces us to a language ban in a London school that might be more than simply trying to improve student’s speech and we talk about why German dialects are often more appreciated than in the UK. Finally we look at some Geordie and Southern English phrases that would catch out many Germans travelling in the UK.

On the show this week:

We’re joined once again by guest-host Dilli Algama as we discuss Simon’s short but sharp experience of a house full of small children. While Nic can sympathise, Dilli impresses the lads with her creative distractions for parents and babysitters alike.

Having lived through the torment of being a ginger haired child in Britain, Nic marvels at the distinct lack of ginger hair hatred in Germany, whereas Simon points out that there are other types of hair discrimination and Dilli explains why people seem so desperate to touch her hair.

Dilli recounts her experiences of being told off by Germans for inexplicable reasons and why it is that Nic and Simon are unlikely to suffer such public abuse. Finally, we take a look at a Raccoon in Heidelberg that has given up on freedom and voluntarily moved into the local zoo.

On the show this week:

After a barrage of ridiculous headlines from our former home, we finally crack and decide talk about what the hell is going on in Britain. Is Germany really more sane or does it just feel like that by comparison? 

We discuss why Germans might want to avoid a beach holiday in Britain for the foreseeable future, why British government communication feels dystopian and why the current campaign to reform social media may have a massive flaw.

Finally, we look at a new initiative to solve the truck driver shortage by using prisoners on day release as replacement drivers and why that might actually be a good idea.

On the Show this week:

After finally finding some time to watch TV, Nic discovers his admiration for Germany’s only actor Matthias Schweighöfer, while Simon explains why many Germans may be suspicious when they meet a Richard Wagner super fan.

With Halloween out the way, there’s nothing stopping the inevitable advance of Christmas and that means two things: Nic’s going to destroy some Stollen and the return of Christmas markets to many German cities. After the pandemic, things will be different, but Simon has you covered with his overview of the changes to Nürnberg’s world famous market .

We continue the festive buzz by looking at the obscure announcement that Christmas dinner in a can will be coming to British consumers this year. Can a tin contain the power of a festive meal and will anyone want to eat what is essentially brown soup? While Britain’s quietly destroying it’s food rep, We look at possible German foods that would work well in a can.

The pandemic continues to dominate news headlines and everyone’s lives, but it’s also given many people a chance to reconsider their lives. Why are many people in Britain and Germany choosing to switch jobs and creating a supposed “Great Resignation”?

We finish on the opening of the German Bundestag and look at the new intake of German politicians. Are they as elitist as news stories here suggest or has there been some progress made in modernising the the makeup of German governance?

On the show this week:

We’re joined by Marty, the honourable husband on Twitter, to talk positive experiences of German bureaucracy, Berlin’s creaking infrastructure and why Bavarian villages are being gentrified. We also take time to enjoy one of our favourite topics: German beer!

We have an update on the winner of Jugendwort des Jahres 2021 and Marty cringes at the amount of English being introduced into casual German communication. Is this the death knell of the German language, are the kids alright or are we just worried about nothing?

Given Nic’s love of Shopping Queen, we return to the topic of reality TV. Marty shares some of his favourite guilty pleasures, Simon learns more than he ever wanted about farmer dating shows and we look at the grim existence of Germany’s Next Top Model. 

On the show this week:

Simon has broken the seal and cooked his first roast dinner of the year and Nic is desperate for the details. How were the roast potatoes, did the Yorkshire puddings get all fluffy, and what was Simon’s secret recipe for the vegetables? To accompany the food mood music, Nic is preparing for his annual favourite meal in Germany, although he’s not exactly sure how it’s made.

We dive into the deep waters of German football to ask why Bundesliga tickets are so much cheaper than tickets for the premier league. We talk about the German matchday experience, the joy of the standing section and the best stadiums to watch football in Germany.

We see out the show with a quick discussion on the possibility of cannabis legalisation in Germany. What’s changed in supposedly conservative Germany, how will Germany’s cannabis culture develop and what comparisons can be drawn from the US experience of a legal, taxable cannabis industry?

On the show this week:

Crack out the champagne, put on your best set of headphones and come join us for episode 50! We’re joined by two, yes two, guests and Dilli and Sandra return to discuss new jobs, moving to a different German state and alternative ways to deal with a large collection of romantic fiction when moving countries. 

A race between a horse and the internet in North Rhine-Westphalia leads us to discuss the German internet. We find out if our experiences in different states match-up and why rubbish WIFI isn’t always the fault of the internet companies.

To finish off the celebrations we answer 50 quick fire questions to celebrate 50 episodes. Why is Simon disgusted with Nic’s movie choices? Where would Sandra go if she could travel back in time? How is Dilli’s dream home also a zombie proof fortress? All these answers and more on the Decades from Home 50th extravaganza!

On the show this week:

We’ve finished sweeping up the confetti and recycling the champagne bottles from episode 50, so we turn our attentions to the future. For Nic that means cancelling Christmas and for Simon, buying a snow shovel. We talk the perfect weather for a crime drama and our recent appearance on The Expatcast. 

Simon takes us through the chaos of the recent Bayern Munich AGM and the limitations of the 50+1 rule in German football and we also discuss the discovery of a true breakfast kebab, complete with bacon and…salad?

A shiny new German government is about to take power after some serious negotiations since September, so we finish this week with a look at some of the new ministers and the plans for their next four years. 

On the show this week:

We’re joined by Tom the Abroad American to talk konterbier, turkey hangovers and why the British should be celebrating Thanksgiving. Nic does some emergency baking, Simon enjoys his new snow shovel and Tom tells us what it’s like to go to university in Germany.

We discuss why Germans don’t enjoy spicy food, what German foods might be improved with the addition of a serious rate of Scovilles and where to find a decent curry, at least in the south. Nic shares his dream of buying a sword, while Simon wonders if it’s finally our chance to remake The Highlander. 

With Merkel finally stepping down after her caretaker Chancellor role over the last few months, we wonder about her leaving ceremony, why German soldiers were involved and what a Nina Hagen song sounds like when played by a military band.

We finish by looking at a recent report on Corona protests in the East of Germany, and Nic takes us all through the favourites for the 2nd Deutscher Bier pokal.

On the show this week:

After disappointing news from the UK, Nic and Simon survey what remains of their Christmas plans, for Simon that means finally buying a Christmas tree, for Nic it’s navigating strange shops in search of decorations. Christmas maybe cancelled in the UK, but that doesn’t mean we have to miss out; Simon is here to help with his top plätzchen choices, while Nic happily accepts his new position as the  Lord of Christmas (Long may he reign!)

We discuss forced Christmas traditions, why mince pies are amazing and misunderstood lyrics to Christmas songs. Joshua Kimmich makes another appearance as we talk vaccines in football and Simon takes the opportunity to mention Schalke’s big win against his German hometown Nürnberg.

Nic explains why he’s now legitimately scared of German spiders and we finish with a German record amount of Christmas trees squeezed into one apartment. 

On the show this week:

It’s Christmas Day and we bring you tidings of beer world cups and how to celebrate Christmas when half your family are German and the other British. Is Christmas the 24th, the 25th or both? Can anyone celebrate back to back Christmases and hope to survive? Nic thinks he can, but one thing is for sure, if you bring a Raclette to his house, you’ll wish you hadn’t.

Since it’s Christmas, we take the chance to talk about one of our favourite things, yorkshire puddings. We also delve deeply into the importance of food to British festivities and why the typical Weihnachtsmenü can often leave a lot to be desired. Simon has a suggestion for what to do with leftovers and Nic takes some tips on working off his dinner from a famous British convict.

We finish the celebrations with an important experiment as we attempt to answer one of the most challenging questions known to humanity: which cheese goes best with a nice piece of Stollen?

On the show this week:

With festivities coming to an end, we talk about leisure drinking during Christmas, New Year’s cocktails and accidental impoliteness. Simon discusses the importance of winning video games against relatives and Nic reflects on his cheese and stollen fuelled nightmares.

We chat about plans for New Year’s Eve and why fireworks bans have some major upsides in Germany. Traditionally it’s the time of year for resolutions, but Nic would prefer not to make so many big life changes and instead wonders if there is a place for mediocre New Year’s Resolutions.

Finally, we finish the first pod of 2022 with a previously unheard conversation taken from our chat with Dr. Sandra Jansen, way back in episode 44. Is the Geordie dialect dying out and what can Bavaria teach us about saving it? 

On the show this week:

Well done, we’ve made it through the first week of 2022! We celebrate with some chat about three kings, public holidays and friends who bring the gift of beer. Nic wonders whether he’s old or if it’s only the pandemic that’s preventing him from clubbing, while Simon just wants to go to the pub with his mates. 

Thanks to a listener, Simon questions whether every kebab is really great after his forced introduction to Hawaiian style kebab, while Nic talks about his German family’s reaction to a humble PBJ sandwich. We check in on the new German government and talk about the obvious fault lines in the new coalition that the German media seem so gleeful to exploit. Is the criticism really fair or is it just a case of a slow news week?

To finish, we talk about government plans to improve the quality of food production, how that may impact the price of the average shop and how this connects to a new law that protects millions of chickens from being destroyed.

Image Credit

Photo by Fiona Smallwood on Unsplash

On the show this week:

With his mighty beard and deep voice, Simon’s worried he might be mistaken for a Yeti when clearing the snow, luckily he’s found a way to soften his image. Meanwhile, Nic would happily hire a yeti if they were any good at childcare, given the issues of finding a nursery for his daughter in Germany.

We’re talking hobbies this week. Nic takes us through the differences between Germany and Britain when it comes to choosing a hobby and Simon makes some suggestions for British hobbies that could be more popular here.

We finish up on some worrying UK statistics from the NHS that outline the dangers of taking on new hobbies, while Simon celebrates some unconventional uses for military ordinance.

On the show this week:

Following a suggestion from a listener, we dedicate this week’s show to finding the perfect football team for a new arrival to Germany. Football can be a great way to meet new people, but which team should someone choose? 

We look at the various ways people choose their football teams and how we chose our own German football teams. Is it better to be a winner, a glorious loser or the ultimate football hipster? Simon discusses why the colour of the shirt can affect a person’s choice of team and Nic explains why choosing a local team can be an important metric.

We review the many different teams from all corners of the country, why lower league teams might help you get to know the country and,  most importantly, why you should never support Bayern Munich.

On the show this week:

Nic has a strange experience while helping someone move house. While he kicks himself for not taking the opportunity to make more jokes about it at the time, Simon’s been playing the new internet sensation Wordle, even going as far as to try it in German!

We talk about taking the opportunity to travel, especially since we’ve spent so long in our homes over the last two years, but we ponder why some young Germans prefer to remain closer to home than adventuring out into the wide world.

We discuss public holidays in the UK and Germany, why masks might make you more attractive and we finish on a the first recorded image of UFOs coming from Simon’s home town of Nürnberg.

On the show this week:

Is mint sauce really a multipurpose condiment? Simons seems to think so, even if Nic is far from convinced. A discussion on condiments gives Simon a chance to introduce his new favourite segment, The Potato Quiz! Does Nic know the many types if British potato or is he correct in assuming there is only really three?

Having moves to Bavaria for the beer, among other things, we’re slightly concerned by news of dropping beer consumption in Germany. Is the pandemic to blame, are Germans really changing their drinking habits, and what has China got to do with saving German brewing?

We discuss a Munich museum that’s investigating the origins of it’s Cameroonian art collection and we ask why the British Museum seems so reluctant to return the many exhibits that come from the days of empire. We finish the show on the plight of the humble tattoo artist and discuss why recent laws passed by the EU are only making their lives harder.

Image Credit

Photo by James Discombe on Unsplash

On the show this week:

Rejoice you lovers of kebabs, Simon’s getting a new kebab shop at the end of his street! While he plans for a future smothered in chilli and garlic sauce, Nic wonders why takeaways are so rubbish in his area, is it a Germany problem or just Bavaria?

Olaf Scholz surprises the world, not with any particular policy, but by wearing a slightly baggy jumper. While sections of the German media ponder the ramifications of his sartorial choices, we discuss the issues faced by women in politics and why late night press conferences on planes might be a change from the Merkel era.

We take a break from the comings and goings of German politics and lament the dumpster fire that is the British government and why having a liar in the highest position in the country might not be such a great idea. After recovering our composure, we finish by looking at the curious case of chickens in high-vis vests.

On the show this week:

We have a very special guest this week, Journalist Abby Young-Powell joins us to discuss German sauna culture and why the British seem so reluctant to enjoy one of the most popular activities in Germany, the naked sauna. While Nic isn’t entirely convinced, Abby and Simon lead the charge for getting your sweat on!

Of course, we’re not just talking about the health benefits of a good steam, Abby has worked for many years as a freelancer in Berlin and she brings her experience to the podcast as we discuss the highs and lows of freelancing in Germany. Is it easier to work freelance in Berlin and how can someone get started?

Simon and Abby also discuss their experiences freelancing in different industries and how to avoid getting caught out by the byzantine German tax system.

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Photo by Max Vakhtbovych from Pexels

Nic and Simon discuss potential hangover cures and why the best must combine some weird ingredients. With strange combinations in mind, we chat about plans to release a fish-finger pizza and what would make the best “German” pizza.

Following on from our chat with Abby Young-Powell last week, we bring you part 2 of our discussion as we focus on the differences between Berlin and Bavaria. Do all Berliners have to have blue hair, does Bavaria have techno, and which location is the best for new arrivals in Germany?

To finish up the show, we ask Abby about the creative culture of Berlin and why it might be under threat from rising house prices and increasing gentrification of the capital.

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Photo by Alan Hardman on Unsplash

Simon is out with Covid, which leaves Nic to try and comprehend the massive changes happening in German politics since the invasion of Ukraine.

Given the current situation, it didn’t feel right to record a wholly new podcast this week, so after a short intro and discussion on Ukraine, the invasion and Germany’s response, we’ve chosen some of our favourite segments from the last year to replay.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

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Photo by Tina Hartung on Unsplash

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Simon is almost fully recovered from his brush with the Rona, but he crawls from his sick bed to join Nic for a discussion on surprise beard compliments and why the Germans aren’t as thirsty as the British for a pat on the back. We also return to Simon’s ever growing kebab update corner,

After a week off, we collect our thoughts on the current crisis in Ukraine and we take some time to discuss the numerous changes occurring in German politics and society at large. We also look at the different approaches taken by the UK and Germany when it comes to accepting refugees.

Finally, Nic’s experience in the mountains has led him to wonder if German ski culture is the worst of all the sub-cultures. Are skiers the worst, are snowboarders cool, and what are the Currywurst like?

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by William Moreland on Unsplash

We cower in fear as the skies around Bavaria turn yellow, luckily for us it’s only a saharan sandstorm. Wonders of the natural world aside, Simon and Nic discuss returning to the garden after the winter break as Germany finally comes back to life with the arrival of spring. When he’s not gardening, Simon has been putting in a shift with a new video game, although Nic is far from convinced.

We respond to some listener’s questions. we reminisce about our first meeting and try desperately to remember why on earth we started the podcast in the first place. We also take a question from one of our many Austrian listeners and talk cultural connections with Bavaria.

We finish this week with a look at changes to the Bundesliga as Schalke 04 remove their Russian sponsors from their shirts.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Leyre . on Unsplash

Despite Nic’s beer fuelled adventures on St. Patrick’s Day, it’s Simon that’s managed to get injured. We talk suspected broken toes and why ten pints of Guinness is more effective than a spa weekend or any juice cleanse.

We turn our attention to some rotten employee relations in the UK as ferry company P&O sack hundreds of staff over zoom and ask why it is that mass firing doesn’t seem to happen as often in Germany. We return to Brandenberg for an update on the Tesla factory in Grünheide as Elon Musk personally opens the doors to welcome, among others, Chancellor Olaf Scholz.

We finish off this week with a look at changes being made to language learning in UK schools as we wonder why it is that German students seem so much more adept at learning languages.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Ready made

After two long years, Nic is back in the UK! While Nic was catching flights, Simon had a “holiday” in a local hotel, which allowed him to get the inside track on the mighty FC Nürnberg, but also meant he stayed in the old National Socialist parade ground. We talk crappy corner kicks, how Nürnberg deals with the past, and why English speakers need a WWII reference before talking about Germany.

Nic has been enjoying the chance to catch up with some of his favourite Geordie food, from steak bakes to stotties, we discuss a different kind of culinary adventure and how food culture is changing in the UK. We finish the show with a trip to Sheffield to experience a night at a German theme bar.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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After celebrating being back in the UK last week, Nic’s found it slightly harder to leave than he thought. No matter, it’s episode 69 which gives us a chance to reminisce about Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and get all gooey eyed about Keanu Reeves.

After changes to the rules on gambling advertising in the UK, we take some time to discuss the murky world of gambling. Are politicians doing enough to prevent massive gambling companies from taking advantage of addicts and is Germany doing any better when it comes to supporting those with gambling addiction?

It’s Simon’s Birthday, so we see out the show with some birthday chat. Why do German parents traumatise their children by throwing yoghurt, eggs and flour at them and what gift should you buy your favourite German?

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Greenvalley Pictures on Unsplash

Finally we’re both recording from the same country as Nic escapes plague island, eventually. While he was stuck on a never ending journey home, Simon celebrated his birthday the only way he knew how, by replicating a famous British TV show.

We’re bringing you something a bit different this week. We’ve been in our secret audio vaults and discovered some lost segments from previous episodes. What is Nic’s weird hobby and why is it more fun than you might think? Never one to be out done, Simon brings us the story of one German’s rubbish hobby, and why it might require most of us to build an extension on our homes.

We finish the show with a look at the best football team names from Germany’s lower tiers and ask why calling your team Porndorf might lead to more than a few questions.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Simon is sick of all the pleasant walks he’s been on, while Nic is worried he may be damned for all eternity after almost insulting a local nun. Not to worry though, we still have Easter chocolate to comfort us!

Speaking of Easter, we discuss some of the curious Easter traditions we witnessed over the weekend, such as runaway church bells, flaming wheels, and nicely decorated village fountains. We also find some time to celebrate one of the lesser known ethnic communities within Germany, the Sorbs.

To finish, Simon talks about one of his Heros, Boris Becker, a man lauded for his tennis skills, but not for his creative financial efforts.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Xavier Teo on Unsplash

The world’s favourite cartoon super villan/saviour of the universe, Elon Musk, has dominated the news this week, at least in the English speaking media. We discuss why the German news has avoided focusing too heavily on Tesla’s “Technoking”?

Language learning has never been the UK’s strong point, after all, everyone speaks English. While true, it might be the case that they will no longer be speaking the Queen’s English as we investigate reports of a crisis in language learning sector as Germans look to other countries to get their grammar fix.

Der Spiegel recently reported in-depth on the rapid increase in obesity among British children. Is it all the fault of junk food or are we missing something. Finally, a fish restaurant has haddock enough of complaints about unruly kids and has decided that children have no plaice in their establishment. Are they right to ban families or are their rules a big load of Pollocks?

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by karl muscat on Unsplash

Nic’s dreams have finally come true as we finally rid ourselves of our placeholder theme tune and celebrate a very Bavarian collaboration with techno DJ Kloß mit Soß. With upbeat Blasmusik blaring in our ears, we turn our attention to the recent announcement that Oktoberfest will be returning in 2022 and ask whether Jürgen Klopp is Britain’s favorite German.

Having warmed up with some Bierfest chat, it would only seem sensible to actually discuss beer. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of good news from Germany’s favourite beverage as prices are set to be increased. We look at the reasons for rising prices and what impact that may have on the industry and consumers at large.

We make a disappointing visit to Simon’s favourite kebab shop and we finish with an update on Boris Becker’s legal woes.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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maria-anne via Pixabay

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

It’s been a weird week for British people as they watched the Queen’s Speech in the House of Lords, which for the first time in 59 years, didn’t actually include the Queen. Are we ready for a Elizabeth-less existence and will Prince Charles ever explain where he got all those shiny medals?

From British royalty to the nearest German equivalent, David Hasselhoff was in the news as he promoted a niederbayerisches Weinfest…for a price. We bemoan our missed opportunity to get our own personal message from the Knight Rider and wonder which other celebrities we could engage on our behalf.

Simon brings us a story from Braunschweig concerning the dangers of riding late night trams and we finish with our now beloved segment “Boris Becker Update”.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Luca J on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

It wouldn’t be the podcast if we didn’t at some point talk about the weather. While Nic was enjoying the sun in a beer garden over the weekend, Simon was slightly concerned at the chunks of pollen that could be seen all over the place.

While the sun is out, it’s probably a good time to reflect on the end of the football season in Germany as we ponder the curious delight some German football fans get from invading the pitch after games across the country. Perhaps that’s not such a bad idea, after all, it’s far better than sitting as we learn from football legend Philipp Lahm that sitting might be as dangerous as smoking! We talk sitting, smoking and how best to approach geeting fit.

To finish off the show, we return to the almost weekly topic of struggling food companies, this time it’s one of Britain’s favourite dishes, the wonderful Fish and Chips, which is under threat from lack of suppliers and the cost of living crisis.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Adrian Diaz-Sieckel on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Things are heating up in the podcast cave, so much so that Simon has shaved his beard. Now looking more man than bearded beast, Simon discusses being reunited with his neck and why you should always be careful around a beard trimmer.

Luckily for Nic and everyone else in Nürnberg, Simon did keep his beard long enough to display it a the recent Punk in Drublic music festival. We talk about a wonderful sunny Saturday of punk music, beer and diffusing arguments at the bar.

The €9 train ticket has finally gone on sale, allowing Germans to travel the rails around the country for next to nothing. Nic wonders why Bayern always has to complain about nice things, while Simon is just happy to ditch his car. We finish on a similar theme by looking at where you should go to get the most out of all this public transport with some of the best rail journeys in Germany.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Alexander Bagno on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Simon surprises us all by announcing he’s become a Lord in the UK. No one has any idea why, but he’s making demands we all use his new title. To celebrate this sudden elevation to the ranks of the aristocracy, Simon has been binge watching Downton Abbey. Between that and his new title, Nic is beginning to worry about his podcast pal.

Of course, there’s a reason for all this indulgent Britishness, it’s only the bloody Queen’s Platinum Jubilee! Granted Nic is a republican and Simon is monarchy agnostic, but surely a parade of pensioners on mobility scooters will liven up proceedings. We talk all things jubilee, ask what the hell is the point, and even find some time to talk about the perfect celebratory lunch (hint: it includes a trifle).

We also find some time to discuss the top 9 Brexit benefits that for some reason weren’t printed on the side of a bus, recent technological problems with credit cards in Germany, and we finish with a sneaky Boris Becker update.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Bild von Jhoan Cordoba auf Pixabay

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Sadly Simon is out sick this week, but Nic battles on by inviting the listeners to join in on the conversation, pity he forgot to mic them up. Instead of wasting an hour of your time and his sanity, Nic and our lovely, shiny new producer have complied a themed clip-show for your listening enjoyment!

We go back to Christmas to revisit our brave experimentation with cheese and stollen, Simon loses his mind after learning from a listener that Hawaii Kebap exist, but he quickly recovers his composure to celebrate the arrival of a new kebab shop at then end of his street.

We engage in the fun and frolics of a potato quiz, learn about the horrors of Fish Finger Pizza, and ask why Germany seems to be so rubbish at takeaway food.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Freddy G on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

After a weekend of adventures up north in Hamburg, Nic returns with tales of Disney musicals, art oggoling, and riding on Mississippi Riverboats. Simon has a lot of questions, most importantly of all, how was the fish? Moving on from holidays, Nic quizzes Simon’s knowledge of German ice cream, while Simon returns the favour with some curious ice cream flavours. Anyone for fried chicken ice cream?

Always concerned with our listeners finances, Simon brings some serious economic news as we go through the newly released Oktoberfest beer price list. Which tent has the most expensive beer, who has the cheapest, and what about the Spezi? We look at where visitors can save a bit of money, and discuss why we should be thankful Oktoberfest isn’t in Britain.

We finish this week with a story of pissed up plans, millions of euros of fraud, and a non existent Covid test centre.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

After a weekend heatwave, Simon has discovered the joys of wild swimming, but only as long as all the boats stay out of his way. Nic, on the other hand, made the counterintuitive decision to watch some horse jumping to beat the heat. He doesn’t like horses or hot weather, so this one will take some explaining.

We tackle the myth of a modern Germany as we look at a celebrity businessman’s less than innovative idea for creating Germany’s Silicon Valley, we find out why German Chancellor Olaf Scholz had trouble getting his passport, and a genuinely life changing way for people to get prescription medication.

We turn our attention to the recent AfD conference in Riesa that collapsed in acrimony, and we finish on why Nic hates shorts, even when he’s wearing them.

Link mentioned in the show: Alice Weidel und die Nazizeitung

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Greg Rosenke on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

We are joined by two very special guests this week, Marty and Marcy, who join Nic for a special Pride episode to discuss their experiences of life in Germany. We talk about culture bubbles, the price of Vegemite, and the glory of American convenience food.

After a weekend of terrible news from the US, wevdiscuss the loss of established freedoms, and the threats to LGBTQ rights. We turn to Germany and question the perception of our adopted home as a bastion of liberalism, and whether there is a big difference between the north and south of the country.

Our guests share their experiences of moving to Germany, civil partnerships, and why a translator can be the best of guests when tying the knot. Finally, Marty teaches Nic some useful German terminology, while Marcy explains what it’s like to go to Christopher Street Day.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Simon returns after a week of avoiding a house full of Covid, and not a minute to soon either. Nic needs an answer to a burning question: why do Germans enjoy eating piping hot meals, even when it’s hotter than the mouth of hell outside? We try and find an answer to this puzzler, among many other important questions.

A recent proposal to make English an official bureaucratic language gets us thinking about how life might change if we didn’t have to worry about Der, Die, Das, when we speak to the tax office. Are the plans realistic? We look into a recent decision in a Frankfurt court to fine SUV drivers more than normal for breaking traffic laws, and we celebrate as a small boy from Oldenburg is rescued from a sewer after going missing for eight days.

Finally, we take a minor disagreement to the mat with our inaugural Schland Slam segment, as we argue whether Pineapple and ham is really worthy of being Germany’s third favourite pizza topping.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Patrick Case

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Well listener, aren’t you in for a real treat! We’re joined by the the most incredible of special guests, the definitive English language voice of the Bundesliga, Derek Rae. Derek is ESPN’s lead commentator for the Bundesliga, the DFB Pokal, La Liga and the Deutsche Fußball Liga. He’s also, along with Lee Dixon & Stewart Robson, the commentator for hundreds of thousands of daily Fifa 22 games played across the world.

In a delightful conversation, Derek takes us through his childhood in Aberdeen where he discovered a love for the German language and culture, his first big break commentating on Scottish football, and how he managed to listen to German language radio without ever having to travel.

We learn what it’s like to record commentary for football games you can’t see, discuss why more British footballers should take the leap into the Bundesliga, and what aspects of German life and culture Derek would happily take with him if he could.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by 3DVisu on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

After the highs of last week’s show, we resume normal service as we discuss having family come visit us in Germany, the complex dance of German and British politeness, and why it’s impossible to find an ice cream van when you need one. Although we can’t offer you a Mr. Whippy, Simon might be able to offer you something much better: the opportunity to win a trophy!

After avoiding the chaos of British politics for a few weeks, we turn our attention to Boris Johnson’s resignation and the resulting Conservative Party leadership contest. We discuss the remaining candidates and why choosing a PM in Britain is often like voting in an 18th century election. Sticking with the exciting world of British politics, we recap the visit of Labour’s Keir Starmer to Germany and why a video angered some on German Twitter.

Turning to the relatively tranquil world of German politics, the wedding of FDP leader Christian Linder was an opportunity for politicians to dust off their finery, and their private planes, to join the festivities on the island of Sylt. Is it OK for politicians to be flying around the country while the climate crisis ravages the country? To finish we look at a recent story from TikTok, where a young man attempted a very public 360 kilometer journey, but gave up after less than 24hrs.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

The lads have been doing a bit of travelling around Germany this week. While Nic stuck to the safety of Bavaria, Simon went further afield, and on the way spotted some fellow Brits who’ve managed to avoid the traffic and make it to Germany. We talk about a recent funeral held in a forest and why that might be the most German of send offs, and we go over the recent travel chaos at various airports that’s certainly not the expected level of German organisation.

A kebab shop in Munich has recently laid claim to the title of most expensive kebab in the country, which gives us a chance to suggest our own luxury kebab recipes and how best to make a dessert kebab. All this kebab chat is hungry work, but clearly not as much as fighting in the UFC, where a young fighter wowed an recent press conference by eating two kebabs in under ten minutes.

We finish this week with a catch-up on German Comic Con, which may be smaller than its more famous American cousin, but might well be the most pleasant event of its kind in the world. We discuss German cosplayers, asking celebrities questions in a second language, and recommend some of the best graphic novels by German artists.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Dev on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

For some reason Simon and Nic are really happy this week, possibly it’s the sunny weather, but more likely it’s finally seeing an England football team win a major tournament. We share our stories of jubilation, tears and glorious lobbed goals from the final of the European Women's Championship.

After descending from cloud nine, we dive into a legal dispute between a woman and her insurance company who refuse to pay for her to get leg lengthening surgery, and discuss the some of the issues in the German health system. We celebrate the lucrative legal victory of an underdog Berlin tenant over their longtime landlord, and Nic confesses his fear of German numbers.

Finally, we learn of the demise of one of Germany’s favourite hobbies: finding a bargain. With many shops choosing to discontinue paper advertising, we ask whether the schnappenjager is an endangered species and why Germany should stop using the word porno in it’s headlines.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Pixabay

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

After enjoying a surprise Augsburg only public holiday on Monday, Nic is feeling quite relaxed, a fact that only intensifies Simon’s jealousy at having missed out. Luckily for Simon, he didn’t have to suffer through FC Augsburg’s opening game of the season, a 4-0 loss to Freiburg. Nic was there, and he’s still not fully recovered. It’s not all negatives though, Simon got a new tattoo and possibly made a new friend along the way.

In Nürnberg, an over zealous father calls the police on his daughter, which leads us to ask: is it ever ok to snitch on your children? Equally worthy of discussion is the fact we learnt about this story from a police twitter account; should the police be reporting their cases via Twitter and if so, should they try to be funny?

To finish, we discuss Das Grüne Band, an 870-mile long nature reserve that runs along the former no-man’s-land between East and West Germany.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Paulina Ponce on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Maybe we’re getting old, but usually when we talk about “getting pickled” it’s after a night on the sauce, but not this week. After receiving a delivery of vinegar, Simon’s taken to pickling anything he can get his hands on, but how do Germans feel about a pickled egg? Nic has more pressing concerns than Simon’s new hobby though; what do you do when you lose interest in a long German sentence? Is it normal to daydream while waiting for a verb to appear in German conversation and how can you train your brain to pay attention when someone uses an infinite number of commas?

New Year is still a good few months away, but Munich has been planning a party to remember…well, we say planning. The beginning of August saw the announcement of a Silvester Rammstein concert on the Theresienwiese, much to the surprise of everyone. However, this week it was cancelled after safety concerns and arguments over support for local arts and culture bubbled to the surface. What has been going on in Bavaria’s state capital?

We discuss the reappearance of 17th century Hunger Stones in many German rivers and finish with a discussion on the benefits of a plant-based diet.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Andy Makely on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Simon very much enjoys the summer camp feel to this week’s show as Nic commandeers his niece and nephew’s bunk bed for the record. The new environment blends nicely with Nic’s new sultry deep voice, a hard won benefit after a weekend spent living in the 17th century with the Sealed Knot. What’s it like to come face to face with a musket block and live to tell the tale?

Leaving the past behind, Simon and Nic talk about sharing food, Kamikaze Sandwiches, and why chicken wings are the most sensual of foods. We also wonder whether service stations in the UK are worse than in Germany and whether paying for the toilets is actually quite sensible.

With Nic getting ready to leave the UK after two week’s holidays, we talk about the many things people find weird about Britain. We discuss toilet carpeting, the dreaded two tap system and small houses.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Anguskirk

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

On the show this week

After four days back in Germany from adventures in the UK, Nic is feeling a bit weird. Thankfully, Simon is on hand to talk through the process of returning home from, well, home. One significant difference is how low-fi much of life in the south of Germany can be, but is that maybe a positive? Then again, not having to deal with British indirectness is certainly a positive about being back in Bavaria.

Speaking of Britain, there’s a new Prime Minister to discuss, and a new cabinet. We ponder what this all means for the UK and whether things will actually improve now that Boris Johnson has packed his bags and left 10 Downing Street (spoiler: probably not).

We celebrate a true German success story as a group of local butchers conquer the World Butchers' Challenge in Sacramento. What does it take to be the world’s best butcher? Sticking with interesting contests of skill, Simon introduces us all to the World Gravy Wrestling Championships in the UK, which leaves us with a serious question: which professional wrestler would be the best at fighting in a pool of delicious gravy? To finish we discuss 9th century punishments for angry bees in Worms and why Hartlepool isn’t a safe place for monkeys.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Jordane Mathieu on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Simon is away on holiday in the UK this week, but the show must go on, even if half of the show is knee deep in sausage rolls and pints of warm beer. Luckily for Nic, we’ve been able to secure a fantastic guest as we welcome historian and journalist Katja Hoyer to talk about dealing with British greetings and how to correctly pronounce the word “scone”.

It’s rather lucky we have a historian with us after a week of deep historic importance. Nic and Katja discuss the death of Queen Elizabeth II and preparations for the funeral on Monday. Nic finds out what it’s been like in Britain since the news dropped, we talk about the meeting of “Ancient customs” and 21st century realities, and we wonder why Paddington Bear plays such a prominent role.

We didn’t just ask Katja on to talk about current events though. As the author of Blood and Iron: the Rise and Fall of the German Empire 1871 -1918, Katja is the perfect person to ask about how Germany was unified, the connecting lines from 1871 to modern day Germany, and why Bismarck doesn’t get much love, in Bayern at least.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Craig Bradford on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

With Simon still galavanting around the UK, Nic enlists the help of listener favourite Dili Algama to steady the good ship Decades from Home. That being said, Nic might not have been fully prepared for the levels of German directness that Dili brings along with her.

We unpack our feelings the day after the Queen’s funeral, and wonder what five mile queues and enforced mourning mean for the UK. Thankfully we have more cheery topics to cover, such as the delights of moving house in Germany, why having a kitchen is not guaranteed, and how to avoid getting trapped in the seven circles of IKEA hell.

Dili discusses what it’s like to live in a small village in the east of Germany, why we often seek out the negatives of living here and whether we’re too German or not German enough.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Corina Rainer on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

After two weeks away from the pod, Simon is back in all his glory, but this isn’t the only thing we’re celebrating in this week’s episode. For the first time since we started the show, both Simon and Nic are in the same room for the first of two episodes recorded at our producer’s house in Bonn. Aside from being the home of our producer, there’s another good reason to be in Bonn: it’s the home of Haribo. We talk about the British equivalent of Germany’s favourite gummy sweets, our favourite Haribo choices, and we find out why Nic can’t eat a Chocolate Orange.

Simon talks about his adventures in the UK, and why taking the ferry is easily the most enjoyable way to visit our former island home. Sure, the “seasickness” wasn’t great, and the karaoke left a lot to be desired, but damn it there was a really nice dressing gown in the VIP cabin.

We finish the show by getting our dirty mitts on some bottles of Kölsch, which isn’t so much a beer as it is a way of life, and one of the many benefits of being north of the Weißwurstäquator.

Decades from Home - A podcast about Germany

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

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Photo by Meg Boulden on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

We’re back from Bonn, but we still have some important things to discuss, namely how did all that Haribo taste. Simon might be putting off trying the cake flavoured Gummibärchen, but Nic has been glorying in the wide open spaces of novelty flavour country. Nic has also been to Bamberg recently, which gives us a chance to talk Rauchbier and whether one of Bavaria’s most famous cities is really “the Venice of Germany”.

Oktoberfest ended this week, and despite many expecting it to be the busiest for years, numbers were actually down, as were beer sales. More disturbingly were the numerous reports of inappropriate behaviour and sexual harassment directed towards women working in beer tents or stands throughout the Wiesn. We look at some of these reports and what it means for Bavaria’s most famous festival.

We travel back in time for the second part of our Bonn meetup, where Simon shares his experiences of being in Britain for the Queen’s funeral, the chaos enveloping the British government, and why Britain has such a problem talking about its history. We finish the show with Simon’s recollections of being thrown out the famous Heide Park Resort.

Oktoberfest Articles:
Die fremde Hand am Hintern

"Verschwinde, hau ab!", hat die Chefin mir nachgerufen

„Wenn es abends voll wird, dann ist es nur noch eklig“

„Ich habe zehn Tage gekellnert und 100 Euro draufgezahlt“

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Itai Aarons on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

On the show this week:

Growing up is tough, especially for parents, as Nic discovers when his daughter gains the freedom to wake him up at all hours of the night. Of course, Simon is very sympathetic, although perhaps his suggestions on how to resolve the issue lacks a certain level of nuance. We welcome episode 96 with a trip down memory lane, to the year 1996 and the exploits of a certain Geordie footballer.

We review the results of the local election in Niedersachsen, and consider what it might mean for Germany and Christian Lindner’s FDP. We discuss the worrying story of apparent sabotage on rail communications in the north of Germany, and a scandal concerning Russian infiltration of cyber security infrastructure. Given the story was broken by the comedian Jan Böhmermann, we talk about other examples of satire being ahead of journalism, and whether it’s a good thing if the news is communicated in a funny way.

Simon brings us a story about copycat chocolate as a Swiss court rules against German discounter Lidl over a suspiciously familiar chocolate rabbit, and we finish off the show with a look at the impact of raising prices in German supermarkets.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

On the show this week

We have a bundle of updates from last week, with Union Berlin still flying high in the Bundesliga, among other news. We discuss the recent debate on keeping three nuclear power plants open until 2023, which is a good chance to learn some interesting new German vocabulary. Additionally, we also have to look across the channel at the ongoing idiocy of British politics.

With shops setting out their festive displays as early as possible this year, we look at the most wanted toys this Christmas.Is a rollerskating Peppa Pig or a vaping Buzz Lightyear really worth the money or should we be looking at more sustainable options?

Changes to the law in Germany mean religion will no longer be recorded for individuals when they get married, which seems to be a positive step, but has also annoyed conservatives. We talk about the continued influence of the church in people’s lives and why it can have a big impact on your tax. We finish with a story about companies forcing people back to the office, and why not turning on your webcam can be a sackable offence.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Tite Zobaran on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Even though we’ve been here for two decades between us, we still can’t get the hang of German pillows. Simon knows this better than most, especially after suffering a pillow related injury. Never let it be said we don’t suffer for this podcast! Neck pain aside, Simon did manage to get out of the house to forage for mushrooms. He must be pretty good at telling his champignons from his deathcaps, because he’s still here to tell us all about it.

The results are in for the Jugendwort des Jahres 2022 and it’s a smashing result, although we do wonder why so many new English loan words seem to be decades out of date. Turning to less pleasant news, we look at Adidas dropping Kanye West and why it took so long for the German sports giant to drop a celebrity that’s willing to spew anti-semitism.

Finally, we look at a recent potato based protest by climate activists who attacked an $110 million Monet painting with lashings of Kartoffelbrei. To Nic’s surprise, Simon is far less concerned with the protest itself and much more annoyed by what Germans consider mashed potato.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Rachel Loughman on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

On the show this week:

We’ve been enjoying the halloween spirit this week, to differing degrees of success. Nic accidently watched the scariest horror movie of all time, while Simon rewatched an old favourite which he’s sure had significantly less nudity the first time around. We also chat about a day trip to one of the weirdest, and most Bayrisch, tourist attractions in Germany.

We have a special guest this week, we’re joined by William Noah Glucroft, a freelance journalist based in Berlin. We talk trick or treating in Berlin, controversial beer opinions, and favoured pieces of German culture. Of course, we didn’t just, bring William in to chat about the niceties. We break down the first year of Germany’s traffic light coalition government and find out whether life after Angela Merkel has all been downhill.

To finish, Simon & Nic have another Boris Becker update, as we find out how the Tennis playing hero of Germany is staying fit while serving at His Majesty's pleasure.

For those of you looking to support Ukraine or the many refugees currently fleeing the conflict, please take a look at these different charities and consider donating if you can:

Ukraine Crisis Media Centre - A list of different donation pages to help the Ukrainian military response.

Disaster Emergency Committee - Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

Save the Children

Ärzte ohne Grenzen

Image Credit

Photo by Tim Simon on Unsplash

Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß