Beyond the basement (Chris Kenworthy)

Ever find yourself staring into space instead of being 'productive'? Not getting around to the things you enjoy? Maybe the old ways of brute force and planning just aren't for you. They certainly aren't for me any more.

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An  old man speaks on BBC Radio 6Music. He sounds wrought, his cockney  tones lacerated with vocal fry and weariness. He sounds familiar yet  distant. A voice speaking of and from my past.

I  recognise it, and all at once, Phil Collins becomes the harbinger of  death. This jovial, pinball-headed drummer assumes the form of the human  condition — mortality itself, squaring up to me, eyeball-to-eyeball,  toe-to-toe, sizing me up for the fight of my life.

https://medium.com/@chris_kenworthy/lets-all-play-the-phil-collins-game-51e879872854

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I'm not ashamed to say I'm drawn to rubbish. Skips, bins, fly-tipping, fruity dog eggs and obscene graffiti. Our effluent says a lot about humanity.

Or perhaps my curiosity says more about me, and my kind of people.

Last week, I spotted a fun looking skip in Armley (a run-down, yet proud district of Leeds). So I paused to film a spoof advert for a friend ("What's that? No fires? BURN IT with Beesley's Skips!").

What happened next was the last thing I expected...

A hatted, bespectacled man walking a shaggy dog approached me, with a European accent. "Ah, you find this strange too?", he asked, smiling and pointing at the skip - a hideous layer cake of sofa, carpets and mattresses. He looked like someone from a Wes Anderson film.

A fat brown rat jumped out the skip, sized us up for a fight, then clearly throught better of it, idly wandering into the overgrown weeds.

I paused for a moment, ready to spin some yarn about art, and play down my perverse interest in discarded human treasure. Then I thought, f*ck it. So I told him about the spoof video. He laughed, then we spoke about how odd, wasteful and filthy humans can be. Common ground.

It soon transpired he was an economist. And in the space of five minutes we went from bins, to the role of social economics in Keynesian theory, Kate Raworth's doughnut, and the lunacy of austerity Britain.

Not your typical fayre, on Armley's notorious town street.

I suppose, by being my unashamed, curious, weirdo self, I learned a little more about something that matters to me. Maybe I made a new friend outside my usual circles. And perhaps he'll guest on my 'Pessimist's guide to a hopeful future' podcast, or open my mind to edgier economic thinking.

Coaches often drone on about putting yourself out there, authenticity and connection. Maybe this was that: a profound illustration there's no 'right' way to do things, only your way, the way you already do, naturally.

Or maybe I'm just a curious weirdo and other curious weirdos are my tribe. We love unusual dog turds.

What's the oddest thing you've ever done that led to an unexpected connection?

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Relentless doing and making can be a way to avoid tricky feelings like disconnection. But it's also an expression of creativity and love. What is healthy doing and making? How might we let ourselves off the hook when we're not up to much else? Chris has a weekend by himself to explore all this, and makes a washstand in the process.

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Eating stale pain au chocolat in a damp car, we're wondering about our relationship with getting things done.

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Tonight at the Leeds improv Co-Lab, we'll be playing a listening game to reveal more depth in conversation, and get closer to our fellow humans. In this episode I'll explore an Authentic Relating game that helps to do this - which has value in everyday life, as well as Improv.

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Just throwing this one out to the universe. Looking for a collaborator to play with an idea I've got for subverting seriousness. Comedians, performers, stand-up, artists. Is that you? Know anyone?

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Are you one of those people affected by the weather? Does it seem like your mood tracks the sky? Chris is ranting at the clouds for his melancholy, wanting the grey damp duvet above to be anything other than what it is.

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What turns you on? No not like that... I'm talking about our instinctual drives: social, sexual and self-preservation. How they play us, if we don't know what they're up to, and how to become more aware of them. This monologue is about the one-to-one aka sexual instinct in particular - creativity and desire. In this episode I'll challenge a few stereotypes and hopefully put you back in touch with yourself. You're an animal!

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Marianne Powell and I play with authenticity - really being you in the here-and-now. To me this seems to have become one of those highly-desired, yet elusive states like happiness - the more we chase it, the harder it is to feel. What even is it though? How does it happen and why does it matter? Marianne is my friend, a purpose guide and therapist, as well as a singer songwriter.

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Final installment of excitable me mansplaining principles from improvised comedy and drama. Also, insight and reflections from the retreat as a whole.

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A quick explanation and apology for why you might have noticed guests appearing in episodes, when you thought it was just you and I playing here.

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Chris gets spooked at the dentist, feels a bit sensitive, then talks all about how we might all do well to become better listeners and communicators alongside each other. Instead of fixers and solvers. Sure, we need both. But mainly more of the former, I reckon.

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Quick newsflash on a shift in direction and an upcoming project that might pique your interest. Also, THANKS FOR LISTENING x

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When you get going it's really hard to stop, especially on focused tasks you enjoy. For me it's DIY. And the lesson I'm doomed to repeat here is not stopping and putting healthy boundaries on what enough looks like. I didn't get much sleep last night because of all yesterday's doing.

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I took a WHOLE week off. I know, what a luxury. Before, during and after that I noticed the effect disconnecting from work can have on the body and mind. Here's what I found, plus invitations on how to make the most from your time off.

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I'm scared of thunder and lightening. There, I said it. Now, what next? When we're faced with fear, uncertainty and discomfort - where do we go from there? What's an appropriate response? Join me in the midst of an extreme climatic event for a scary story without a point (well, not one that comes immediately).

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Gaz has a magnificent, racing mind. Here we attempt to unearth wisdom from how he manages thoughts into action, and what it's like living with ADHD. Bit of a departure from my usual audio blog format, but this is such a lovely, insightful interview. Hope I do him justice. I also hope it helps you feel more aware of your own thought processes too, and how you might begin to channel your genius. Yes, genius.

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Joanne Tremarco's improvised performance of a show by this name inspires Chris, almost to the point of complete emotional dysfunction, late night at the Liverpool improvisation festival. To the point he even gets her name wrong. Here I'm very excited by fooling, a performance technique I did in a workshop earlier in the day with JOANNE

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We've been exploring finding your calm, when people piss you off, upset you or otherwise knock you off-balance. I'm doing some embodiment training in Somerset, here's some helpful techniques I've been learning.

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This principle of improv invites us to reveal more of our inner world, to make more of a scene of ourselves. Not just in pursuit of more watchable performance, but so other people know what's going on for us, in life. Why leave it all to guesswork? Play it big. Link to event: bit.ly/improvleeds

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An odd thing happened recently. I realised I actually quite like Mondays these days. If you're anything like me, the start to the week often loons heavy with foreboding and an urgency to resume the grind. Here's an alternative, to reclaim your week. I'd add that this might help in how you relate to any tricky thing in your life; work, projects, people - not just Mondays.

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Gosh it's TOUGH bringing an idea to life, isn't it? Especially when you really care about the things you want to create. This could be a career, relationship, business, or (if you're me) a workshop. Here are some reflections on how we defend and deny ourselves the things which our hearts desire.

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Lessons from the dancefloor in what happens when we quieten the mind and let the body do the talking, or more accurately, listening. This one is all about how old habits show up in new ways.

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Ever second-guess yourself? Doubt yourself before you even get started? This one's for you. A recent improv adventure might offer a helpful way forward, when it comes to throwing yourself behind whatever it is you care about. Yet still be ok when things don't go to plan...

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Join me for a petit sojourn into a French forest to convene with Sasquatch and our fear of the unknown. Immersed beneath the canopy and with darkness encroaching, I wonder if there's a time and a place for those uncomfortable feelings we get, when we don't know 'what's out there'? Just a theory. Let's find out... 

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You, the REAL you, are your imagination, apparently. And the best way to meet real you is to push that button, without thinking too much.

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Misty reflections on how we humans are probably the worst judges of the things we create. And why just bringing a thing into the world might be where our role and responsibilities end.

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If you’re anything like me you avoid arguments and confrontation. I prefer the easy life - it’s only natural. Yet in choosing the path of least resistance, we can miss out on what’s on the other side of all that pain, conflict and tension. Also known as ‘rupture and repair’ with our fellow humans. Here I explore what’s on the other side with a live story from the Authentic Relating leadership retreat I’ve been on in France. Join me by the lake for the third and final instalment of reflections on how we relate to one another, and everything they didn’t teach you at school about human-ing.

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I accidentally-on-purpose crafted a really productive day, even though what came out of it was 'wrong'. Here are some reflections on what we might do to affect our state (energy, motivation, moods), and what works - so we feel hopeful, inspired and creative, regardless of outcomes. Note: not all my days are like this...

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But of an update after that anti-goal rant a few weeks back. What if, like me, you're one of those people who don't go in for 'mindset' and the intrinsic motivation of some future target? How the hell do you have anything to aim for and account for human messiness? This is my search for a better way, that works for people like us.

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This one's for anyone curious about or new to improv. I'll dispel some myths about what it is, as well as give you a flavour of what to expect when you first try it. You'll also get a sense of how I run Leeds Improv Co-Lab - my growing community of improvisers who regularly come for open play sessions.

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It's the second day of this comedy improv retreat my intuition hoodwinked me into attending. This is so much fun, so much to learn, nice people I'm having a nice time are you I can't slow my brain down please can I sleep now this is more than I can handle give me more.

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Fond-ish memories of a childhood pond. Day 4 of the #AudioMo challenge to record an audio blog every day in June. Photo by Benjamin Wong: https://unsplash.com/photos/Z_OmqGohZHc?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditShareLink

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We've all got behaviours, habits, characteristics about ourselves we'd like to change. How do you react when they show up? With regret, shame, anger? What if that's like abandoning yourself...

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Anger wants to move. If it can't, we suffer. But what even is it? How do we move it in a healthy way? I share some reflections and insight from my own experiences with anger - like waking up in a right funk this morning...

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When you're neither in nor out on the day ahead, it's possible to kind of halfheartedly do all the things, instead of committing your attention to one thing deserving of it, or checking out altogether because you need some R&R.

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I could be way off here - drawing parallels between substance abuse, and that urge to perpetually do and make, that drives people like us. But maybe there's something to this. The fact is that excessive productivity and progress destroys relationships and wellbeing, just like any other compulsive behaviour. What do you reckon?

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Playing with another of Richard Herring's emergency questions before I write about it on LinkedIn later. Somehow I turned this into an awkward dance around gender inequality, arousal and death - all natural bedfellows.

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Do kids annoy you? Or pets? What about high-vibe people? Or loafers; the rich and leisured classes; care-free folk who drift through life, unaffected. Ever feel jealous or sad you don’t? These strong reactions could be telling you something about your unmet need for play. Here I make the case for more of it in life.

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Join me in the woods for a big one, exploring the case for having a more emotionally engaged experience, and how that affects quality of life. I'll also share 3 ways to change your relationship with how you feel those tricky feelings that every part of you wants to avoid.

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This one's all about how we relate to people. What might be going on when you withdraw, go quiet, or get all sorts of mixed thoughts and feelings during conversations with others.

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Is it possible to 'get on' on life, yet be more consciously lazy? What's like life with the absence of striving. This August I checked out, and gave things more space in life. And three curious, unexpected things happened, that'll I'll share in this episode.

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I didn't have a very gentle introduction to improv. In fact, it was pretty brutal. I didn't sleep for 4 days. So here's what I'd do differently. What I will do differently, as today I host my first basics taster improv session, inviting newbies to come join and play our little community in Leeds.

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Today's emergency question that we're playing with, from Richard Herring's book of the same name. Do we instinctively act out of self interest? Are we just animals? Is there such a thing as a truly selfless act? Naturally, you'll discover all the answers to life's big questions, here in a windy park in Leeds.

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Join me for a coffee walk, reflecting on three big insights to come out of Saturday's Undefended Improv workshop in Leeds. We explore tricky conversations, why everyone is waiting for everyone else to go first, and why it's easy to drop the mask when you stay with yourself and what you really care about.

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Chris stops driving for a wee, where he meets a man with a camera in a layby. This leads to a chance encounter and a rare experience in nature.

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Usually you're so up and on it, productive, because you love getting things done. But for some reason, today you just can't get going. You're forcing yourself to get through the day. Here's what might be going on.

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In all of us, there's a part forever scanning for evidence to confirm all our worst fears. And when it finds evidence, a story begins to play. What's yours? Here's mine and how I'm trying a different, kinder response...

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The dog's being a b*****d after a week of taxing tribulations.

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Here are three big insights from the lovely improvisers who came out to play this Sunday for the third Undefended Improv workshop, this time in Liverpool, hosted with my friend Jen Hardy. In opening up, relating, and revealing what it's like really being us, we uncovered some universal truths that apply to life, whether you improvise or not. This one's for anyone tired of trying so hard to follow the rules and get everything right, keeping up appearances, yet deeply in need of more support and connection from the people around you.

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Next Monday I launch my first drop-in improv event. And this is our theme: welcoming everything. I pinched it from my second love, Authentic Relating. But what does it mean? How does welcoming everything make life better?

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Hi. I'm a beginner. By that I mean curious, enthusiastic, a learner, playful. I don't have everything sussed out. Would you want to be any other way? The world seems to expect that though - flawless experts who get things right first time, every time. I see it in politics, industry and other walks of life.

This was prompted by soon launching my own improv/authentic relating inspired workshops, and noticing the fears, hesitance, shame and doubts that get in the way of doing fun stuff we really care about.

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Before, during and after a tricky experience - how do you support yourself, if at all? When the panic, fear, shame, anger arrives, do you distract yourself or sit with it? Or like many people I expect do you just accept mild traumatizing as part of the deal you didn't sign up for when you were born?

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Looks like nature heard my previous episode and called me out on my plan to get more regular improv into my daily practice.

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Here's what happens when we put a little effort into feeling good about where we are and who we're with. These are my reflections from a recent Leeds improv Co-Lab play session I hosted, exploring these ideas to see how they improve our performance and free up our natural potential.

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Emergency questions! Each week we play with a couple of provocations from Richard Herring's book over on LinkedIn. Edgy questions that I improvise responses too. Now I'm mashing it up with this audio blog, to expand the game. https://www.linkedin.com/in/chriskenworthy

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This Friday (26th April) sees the first, regular, Authentic Relating workshop in Leeds. Come for human kindness, connection and deeper-than-usual conversation. Here I'll give you a flavour of what to expect and why you need it in your life. Info here: wearewellness.co.uk/workshops/

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If you like my s**t, check out the pessimist's guide to a hopeful future, a podcast beyond the confines of my head. Here there are other humans, with actual wisdom, and insightful interviews. Here's what season 2 is all about.

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Maybe you take your high standards and expectations for granted. There's nothing wrong with having them, but they can leave you feeling bruised and tender, if you're relentlessly striving and pushing yourself. Join me pool-side as we explore what could be going on inside, if you're sad, dissatisfied or frustrated.

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Tomorrow at The New Monday Leeds, we'll be exploring how to help your inner child go nuts, creatively, by tapping into your innate playfulness. I'll do this through the lens of improv, during a short talk at this local networking event. This is me getting some practice in, and giving you the unedited, full-fat version full of tips and tricks on how to handle uncertainty, while feeling more free and expressed.

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Chris is angry at his sat nav in a service station car park and decides to improvise a live experiment in the theory that the only way out with strong emotions is through. What will we learn? Trigger warning: loud vitriolic ranting.

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Is life something that happens to you, or something you have a say in? This one’s about how much power and agency we have, or choose, in our own lived experience. If we choose none, we can fall into a state of collapse and victimhood. If we seize it all there’s a risk of becoming a bully in a state of aggressive posturing at the world. So what’s a healthier way to meet pain (and pleasure) in life? This is the second part of my reflections from an Authentic Relating leadership retreat in France. I recorded this shortly before I facilitated a group workshop all about this exact theme - how we own (or disown) our experience, and what that means.

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Oh look, a new hairdresser has opened, I wonder what it's like? Let's try it out. How we laughed *together* at what happened next. A counterpoint to the assumption that following your intuition or desire always leads to something good.

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If, after doing a big or difficult thing, you quickly move on to the next big or difficult thing, taking your performance for granted - you probably had high expectations and low support as a youngster, like me. Perhaps you too are a lifelong perfectionist, hyper self-reliant type, or chronic overachiever. Hello, I see you. Join me as I unpick a recent experience that brings this to life, and the journey before/during/after of how this shows up. We’ll also explore how to break the pattern of dissatisfaction, disconnection and sadness that can happen when we don’t allow ourselves the care and support we need.

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A strong, evocative emotional experience can leave a residue in your system, one that lingers and is tricky to get through. Some reflections here on elation, grief, sadness and hope in the aftermath of Happy Start-up School's Summercamp.

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Last Saturday a bunch of improvisers explored what it's like to welcome and reveal your inner world, in a warm and fuzzy workshop I hosted called Undefended Improv. Here's an exploration, insights and juicy finds.

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This last week I've been in Slovenia, exploring how we relate to, express, and experience life through that thing below your neck. Join me on a mountaintop for helpful insights I picked up studying with Mr Embodiment, Mark Walsh, like how to find yourself when stressed, and what other people make of you. I recorded this while having a very direct experience of the universe; all the feels you can expect from eny immersive adventure, be it a retreat like mine, a festival or any experience full of all the things you love.

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It's another lesson I'm doomed to learn over and over again, or people like me. This week it's seeing things as either wholly bad/wrong or wholly good/right, with no room for the colourful nuance in between. Because that's where the richness of life is. And things are rarely either/or. Life is full of paradox, two seemingly opposing truths both being equally valid - like I'm excited AND I'm scared. That didn't go to plan, AND people loved it.

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What happens when we do nothing...

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Join me, on a voyage into unchartered territory - pushing the boundaries of technology and communication, on a quest to add a text box and a button to my website. Bear witness as this human being, like many others before him, takes the problem way too seriously, overcomplicates things, and loses all perspective on the situation. Time for a bit of space, maybe?

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Leeds improv Co-Lab community is 1 year old. Here's 3 lessons I've learned (hard won) about taking risks, and turning an idea or hope into a real-life event.

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A quick walkthrough of the journey into more rewarding, heartfelt and blissful improv that I'll be taking people on next month. I explain some thinking behind the workshop, what's in store and how it all goes together into a deep yet gentle learning experience.

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There's a particular kind of bliss in sharing what it's like being you, regardless of how that's met. When you write, talk or otherwise create, you're meeting a fundamental human need to be seen/heard, valued and understood. Some reflections on what's going on and how to get more in your life.

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Not baked but lightly boiled and al denté after the second day at the Maydays improviswd comedy and drama retreat. Highlights from my favourite workshops of the day, plus enlightening learns we can all plug into daily life to make it more yes, and.

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That time all the buses went wrong and I thought I could run a better public transport system than a district council. Why so serious? How might humour be a route out? Why is fun, play and compassion often the last place we want to go? What other options are there?

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What happens if you DARE to tell the truth about what it's like being you. I've just been on another retreat and I took a risk, when I had a BIG reaction to something that happened there. In this episode I explore one of the 5 practices of authentic relating.

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Dragons, giants, magic, castles and gophers. This weekend's improv intensive on storytelling and movement had it all. Here comes the feels and reflections on everything that went down. Link to information about Chris Mead, who led the weekend: https://chrismead.co/

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Companion follow-up ramble to my recent episode about committing, to an action or decision. Disjointed. Hey, I'm tired.

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Experiments in productivity and cyclical living; ways of noticing where you're at and what you're capable of. Here's my friend Vix Anderton's website, who I mention in this episode: https://vixanderton.com/get-it-done

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What does it mean to mess up, get things wrong, or for things to otherwise not quite work out as we'd planned? Happy little accidents is the theme of our next improv Co-lab session in Leeds. Yet there's something for everyone on how we relate to our inevitable mistakes.

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Today we play a little game about thoughts and feelings. https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1618206

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Do you have unrelentingly high standards? Ever beat yourself up because nothing's ever quite good enough? Can you spot flaws and mistakes in everything? It could be that you have a particularly vocal inner critic, or live with a high degree of judgement in your life. Here's my heartfelt exploration of what it's like living with judgement, how it behaves under stress and security, as well as a few helpful reframes if you relate to any of this.

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If you don't get out the house, are you a bit like a dog who hasn't been walked? Climbing the walls. Going out of your mind. If so, you could be like Ellie and I, for whom movement, nature and connection with other people is a necessity.

Ellie is my friend and a fellow coach. Together we're running a series of immersive Co-Walking events to help people like us get a more rich and meaningful experience from retreat into nature, away from the seeming madness that is modern life.

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I hear this phrase a LOT in the change work I do with individuals. People usually say it when we come up against the very value or belief you have that's at the root of some behaviour that's unhelpful, holding you back or otherwise not serving you any more. It's a denial of the very thing that defines you as a human - your ability to learn, cope and adapt.

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'Love yourself' is terrible, ambiguous advice. Same with 'self-love', implying all you need is a bubble bath to heal yourself. To help, I'm sharing three, possibly more helpful, definitions of what love is when it comes to relating to yourself, as well as others.

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These two are core practices from authentic relating that really help me navigate life's challenges. And life dealt me a sizable one recently. So I took that as an invite to practice what I preach... One of my edgier episodes. In case you're left wondering how things are after this episode - I now have a clean bill of health.

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Hoot! Yesterday we launched Leeds' first improv Co-lab event. Here's the story of the universe calling me out on an idea through to making a real thing, and everything I learned along the way.

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The last thing we need from lockdown is more podcasts by middle-aged white men; said some plonker on the Twitters I've never met, yet whose opinion I decided to heed. Isn't it funny how we let off-hand remarks like this (regardless of who made them) influence the course of our lives? That's the story behind this short public rebuttal. Yes, they're probably correct, but why do we, and should we ever pay attention to naysayers? I didn't, that's why you're listening to another podcast by a middle-aged white man. 

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Here's how to give your day a lift, completely for free. Or end it with crushing disappointment before it even began. Part of the #AudioMo experiment: https://audiomo.tumblr.com/

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Some days, events, arbitrary points in time come with emotional baggage. For me it's Mondays, a heaviness, a melancholic sigh, and the dread of expectation. Which is totally at odds with reality. This one's all about the emotional undercurrents that, if we're not aware of, can rule us. Here's how I'm working with Mondays, after years of resistance.

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I'd never heard of this improv principle until a recent workshop. Here I'm puzzling how it might help when it comes to uncertainty, and being vulnerable about what we don't know in the face of new challenges.

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The juiciest bits from my recent Berlin adventure - probing the deeper parts of human connection on an Authentic Relating level 2 course. We explore eye contact, vibes, arguments, pride, and being welcoming.

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Would you like to make better decisions? Listen along, as I put my head in the lion's jaw of contemporary capitalism. A very middle class story of how house-buying (or any situation riddled with uncertainty) becomes more tolerable, by attuning your head, heart and gut. Not only that, you gain comfort and foresight should things not play out as you'd hoped. You fool.

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You lot asked for it, here it is. Collected stories and reflections on ways to navigate the profound discomfort of job dissatisfaction, and the uncertainty of what lurks on the other side. Includes insight and tips to help you find hope in what seems like a hopeless situation.

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This one's for folk feeling stuck in the impossibility of a perennial problem. Whichever way you turn, is there a roadblock? Live and (partly) unscripted from the allotment. Inspired by June's #AudioMo challenge.

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Dressed in Lycra, lurking in the shadows of Liverpool catholic cathedral, here's some before and after reflections on week two of a new improv course I've joined.

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Tomorrow, we're exploring the 4 elements in a workshop I'm leading. Each element has a quality that can feel familiar or less so, and with it an invitation to play with a different way of showing up in the world. In this episode I explore each element and give a favour or how to get playful with your elements, and what change that can bring about.

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This morning I woke up with a start. To a memory of one of the scariest scenes I've ever played. And it wasn't even improv. Here are some reflections from the front line of terror.

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Oops. Today I find myself out of my depth (in a good way), when all I really wanted to do was pay someone a compliment. Or did I?

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