7 On Sundays™ Podcast (STEPHANIE BOYE & DR. CHEZ LEEBY)

Purity culture is defined as a movement beginning in the 1990’s that promotes a religious view of purity to mean abstaining from sex and sometimes even dating, before marriage. Purity culture emphasizes traditional gender roles in relationships and encourages women/girls to dress modestly so that boys/men are not aroused sexually in their presence. The doctrines and teachings are rigid and stereotypical in regards to roles and burden of “purity.” 

How does purity culture play out today for young people? 

Our guest this week, Drew, grew up in a conservative Christian household and a church that preached abstinence until marriage. He attended purity “conferences” that reinforced the rigid roles and rules. Drew openly shares how he experienced the words, images, and teachings that his church provided during his teenage years. 

For Drew, and others growing up with purity culture values, the information presented about sex was confusing, guilt-inducing, and shaming. He and other boys were watching porn and thinking that after marriage, this will be the type of sex they will engage in. The goal of porn viewing is usually masturbation and orgasm. When porn becomes the means for sexual release, the porn scripts and scenes can become the expectations you have for your partner. Drew had these expectations of his wife until he began to question and explore her needs further–thank God.

It is important to note that pornography does not discriminate between religious and secular homes. It touches everyone. According to Covenant Eyes, 68% of church-going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn. Drew and his friends were not an anomaly.

In today’s SOS episode, Drew shares his personal journey to free himself from shame. He explores his feelings about the teachings he received at purity conferences, his experiences in a new marriage, and the ongoing process of unlearning harmful beliefs on both ends of the spectrum. The episode emphasizes the importance of open dialogue, education, and finding a healthy balance with sex and relationships.

Porn has the potential to destroy intimate relationships in a myriad of ways.  Luckily Drew and his wife are honing their communication skills and questioning the porn myths. They are working to understand the needs, desires, and interests (without guilt or shame) so that they both experience pleasure and true intimate connection. 

Drew provides us with an honest way to integrate our past and present understandings and consciously create healthy, reciprocal sexual relationships.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning

00:15 Personal Experiences with Purity Culture

01:46 Defining Purity Culture

02:57 Drew's Story: Growing Up in Purity Culture

03:59 Purity Conferences and the Apple Pie Analogy

06:27 Impact of Purity Culture on Relationships

10:36 Gender Roles and Double Standards

16:54 Navigating Marriage and Sexual Expectations

26:14 Challenges and Hypocrisy in Purity Culture

27:21 Marriage Pressures and Personal Reflections

28:56 Balancing Values and Realities

34:59 The Role of Masturbation in Clarity

36:41 Navigating Godly Relationships

37:24 Balancing Strengths in Relationships

40:37 Healthy Sexual Relationships

43:45 Deconstructing Faith and Shame

49:16 The Importance of Communication

54:10 Questioning Traditional Beliefs

01:02:28 Final Thoughts and Resources

Would you be able to spot the signs of a person with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)? What does dating a sociopath (someone with ASPD) look like? 

ASPD is a serious mental health condition characterized by a pattern of deceit. These individuals use their intelligence and charm to manipulate and exploit people and partners. While statistics report that only 1-4% of the population is diagnosed with ASPD, it appears that these numbers are higher. The reported numbers are lower because these individuals are very resistant to therapy and many never receive a formal diagnosis. To be diagnosed with ASPD, an individual must demonstrates a continuous pattern of behaviors with three or more of the following: persistent violation of social norms and laws, deceit, impulsivity, reckless disregard for the safety of self and others, aggression and hostility, consistent irresponsibility, and lack of remorse (DSM-5-TR). 

According to David J. Lieberman, “A sociopath has no real sense of self, so they struggle with maintaining the impression that they create and project to the world. They are already wearing a mask, and dishonesty is another mask on top of that. This means that when they lie, they might sound like a caricature of an honest person rather than a genuinely honest person.” 

So how would someone be able to spot an individual with ASPD in the wild world of dating?  

Today, we are talking to Riley.  As a college freshman, Riley had the misfortune to stumble across a sociopath and date him for several months. Tune in to hear how easily these individuals can become part of your inner circle and how difficult it is to process and heal from the mistrust and manipulation. 

Riley’s story could happen to anyone and according to the police in her college town, these situations are more common than we think. If you think you may be in a relationship with someone with ASPD, please reach out for help immediately. You are not alone!

RESOURCES

Call your local police or National Centers for Victims of Crime (NCVC) 1-800-FYI-CALL
if you suspect that you have been the victim of crimes 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 

The National Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
A service of Love is Respect,  this national, 24-hour resource is specifically designed for teens and young adults. The Helpline is accessible by phone or online chat and offers real-time, one-on-one support from peer advocates trained to offer support, information, and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned friends, parents, teachers, clergy, law enforcement, and service providers.

Love is Respect
A collaboration between Break the Cycle and the National Dating Abuse Helpline, this web resource provides  information and resources on dating violence and healthy dating attitudes and relationships for youth. The site includes an overview of the issue (e.g., early warning signs, types of abuse, the cycle of abuse), quizzes for teens to determine whether they are experiencing or inflicting abuse, a live chat feature that connects youth with a peer advocate 24/7, videos, a blog, and more. In addition to the live chat, Love is Respect connects youth to the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453. Youth can also reach out for help by texting “loveis” to 22522.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Welcome to Seven on Sundays: Navigating Young Adult Challenges

00:47 Meet the Hosts: Candid Conversations on Tough Topics

01:31 Introducing Riley’s Story

06:13 Riley's Story: The Heartbreaking Tale of Deception

15:35 Things Weren’t Adding Up

19:45 The Shocking Discovery: Unveiling a Double Life

24:25 Analyzing the Deception: Red Flags and Reflections

27:45 Unpacking the Red Flags: A Closer Look at the Lies

31:02 The Psychology Behind Grandiose Lies

33:12 Having Everyone Fooled

35:09 The Aftermath: Confrontation, Closure, and Moving On

39:34 Learning from Experience: Advice and Insights

46:25 The Importance of Empathy and Red Flags in Relationships

49:41 Riley's Journey: Healing and Reflection

58:41 Final Thoughts and Advice for Vigilance in Relationships

Today, we’re diving into part one of an incredibly moving story with Harrison Haynes. If you’ve ever struggled with bullying, dubious online relationships, loneliness, or navigating the challenges of adolescence in the digital age, this episode is for you. 

Why You Should Listen

In this episode, Harrison shares his deeply personal journey of being groomed online as a young teen and how it impacted his mental health and relationships. His story highlights the dangers of online predators, the emotional weight young people carry, and the importance of support systems. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or someone who has experienced online isolation, Harrison's wisdom and insights offer both caution and hope.

Please be advised that we will be discussing sensitive topics, including suicide and online grooming.

RESOURCES

Suicide Hotline -Call or Text 988

Website www.988lifeline.org

The Cyber Helpline -Supports victims of cybercrime    www.thecyberhelpline.com

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:17 Harrison's Early Online Friendship

01:01 Meet the Hosts and Guest Introduction

03:24 Harrison's Story: The Beginning

06:02 The Dark Turn in Friendship

07:47 Isolation and Emotional Burden

09:12 The Impact of Pornography

27:21 A Parent's Intervention

32:07 The Aftermath and Seeking Help

37:05 A Divine Intervention

39:33 Conclusion and Next Episode Teaser

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) and Domestic Violence (DV) affects millions of women worldwide. According to recent research, almost one in two women (47.3% or 59 million) in the US report experiencing IPV at some time during their lifetime (Leemis et al., 2022). According to The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, approximately 1 in 3 teens is the victim of dating violence. 

IPV and DV may be considered the same thing, but they are not. Domestic violence is any abuse happening in the home. It can involve more than just intimate partners and can mean that a victim is fearful of violence in the house, possibly by more than one person. Intimate Partner Violence implies the victim is afraid of one individual, their partner. They do not have to be living in the same home.

A Relias Media article explains, “Because the need for power and control is at the root of IPV, abusers generally need to manage every aspect and every minute of their victims’ lives, including increasing isolation from family and friends, using intimidation and emotional abuse, coercing and threatening, threatening to harm loved ones or pets, using the children, destroying important and sentimental objects, minimizing and denying the abuse, and shifting blame onto the victim.”

According to the CDC, “‘intimate partner violence’ describes physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse.” The abusers in these relationships use intimidation, emotional abuse, coercion, threats of harm, belittling, blame, minimizing, controlling, and denying behaviors (and words) to keep the victim silent, isolated, and oppressed. The root of these destructive relationships are power and control. 

How subtly does DV or IPV begin? How can young women recognize the red flags early?

Our SOS guest today, Karoline, helps us understand how these dangerous relationships progress over time. Karoline was in a committed relationship with her boyfriend for a few years before he became physically violent. 

Why did she not share his dark side with even her closest friends? They weren’t married; why didn’t she break up with him? For the person experiencing the highs and lows of the IPV cycle, these situations are very complicated and confusing. Victims want to believe that their partner will change when they promise that they will. The hard reality is that change in these situations usually does not happen because of a promise to “do better.”

If you, or anyone you know is experiencing any form of abuse, please call for help immediately. As Karoline shares, there is hope outside of the relationship. Empowered action for yourself is the first step to healing. You are not alone.

RESOURCES

If you or a loved one are in an abusive relationship, please call your local police or any of the following...

 *988 the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Call your local police or National Centers for Victims of Crime (NCVC) 1-800-FYI-CALL
if you suspect that you have been the victim of crimes 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 

The National Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
A service of Love is Respect,  this national, 24-hour resource is specifically designed for teens and young adults. The Helpline is accessible by phone or online chat and offers real-time, one-on-one support from peer advocates trained to offer support, information, and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned friends, parents, teachers, clergy, law enforcement, and service providers.

Love is Respect
A collaboration between Break the Cycle and the National Dating Abuse Helpline, this web resource provides  information and resources on dating violence and healthy dating attitudes and relationships for youth. The site includes an overview of the issue (e.g., early warning signs, types of abuse, the cycle of abuse), quizzes for teens to determine whether they are experiencing or inflicting abuse, a live chat feature that connects youth with a peer advocate 24/7, videos, a blog, and more. In addition to the live chat, Love is Respect connects youth to the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453. Youth can also reach out for help by texting “loveis” to 22522.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Content Warning

00:15 Cold Open & Introduction

01:28 A Shocking Story of Abuse Unveiled

03:36 Understanding the Dynamics of Abusive Relationships

06:18 Caroline's Harrowing Journey Through Abuse

14:52 The Cycle of Abuse and Its Red Flags

16:56 Insights on Toxic Relationships and Communication

23:23 The Importance of Recognizing and Acting on Red Flags

28:03 The Impact of Differing Social Habits and Values

29:53 The Role of Self-Worth and Fear in Staying

31:30 Confronting Abuse and Seeking Help

41:04 The Healing Journey: Therapy and Self-Discovery

50:27 The Importance of Autonomy and Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

55:16 Closing Thoughts: Empowerment and Awareness

How does a young woman get trafficked by her boyfriend? Most people think it could never happen to them. In today’s 7 On Sundays Podcast episode, Linsey shares her story of gradual and escalating grooming at the hand's her boyfriend, who then became her husband and eventually, her trafficker. This story shares how isolation, secrecy, shame, and fear kept Linsey from leaving. She lost all independence and outside support. Linsey shares the complicated nature of these relationships, especially when there are children. 

What are the long-term impacts of living with (and trying to love) a trafficker?    

Many people hope that over time, a toxic relationship will get better. They believe that their partner will change. Like Linsey, many fear leaving, because of shame, possible judgment, loss of home, income, transportation, and lifestyle. Linsey made the brave steps for her freedom and today, she educates and champions survivors of human trafficking. Finally, Linsey shares how she found forgiveness and how that has become an essential component to her healing journey. 

RESOURCES

If you suspect someone is the victim of human trafficking Call the National Human Trafficking Hotline, a national 24-hour, toll-free, multilingual anti-trafficking hotline. Call 1-888-373-7888 to report a tip; connect with anti-trafficking services in your area; or request training and technical assistance, general information, or specific anti-trafficking resources.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:03:01] Linsey shares her story of trafficking

[00:08:34] Introduction to pornography

[00:10:18] The slow progression of manipulation

[00:14:22] Swinging and exploitation

[00:18:28] Linsey’s Invisibility in her family

[00:22:31] Losing her virginity and parental reaction

[00:26:30] The importance of being seen

[00:30:32] Healing and navigating traumas

[00:35:05] The power of shame

[00:39:14] How abusers use shame as a manipulation tool

[00:42:20] Forgiveness and self-worth

[00:45:43] Trafficking as cult indoctrination

[00:47:20] Taking back her voice

[00:52:42] Society's desensitization to sexual and abusive behaviors

[00:55:28] Listening to your internal dialogue

[00:59:57] The impact of manipulative factors and isolation

[01:06:50] The power parents' words and children's perception

Do college students REALLY have an understanding of consent?

The answer is “no." Many young people believe "yes" to hooking up means "yes" to any and all sexual acts. They mistakenly believe that "yes" to some sexual act yesterday, an hour ago or last week means "yes" forever to that act. None of these things are true.

Whether due to failed sexuality education programs, rapey cultural messages, caregivers naivete and insecurity about how to properly educate children about consent, there are grave misunderstandings about the nuanced aspects of many sexual hook ups. As a result, much of what is happening during hookups (especiallly when drunk) are closer to assault than consensual sex. Hint: you can not get consent from a drunk person. 

While affirmative consent means your partner has willingly agreed to sexual acts that have been clearly communicated, it is just the legal low bar. In sexual hookups the goal should be enthusiastic consent. Not only is your partner agreeing to communicated sexual acts but they are desirous and excited to participate in them.  This is enthusiastic consent “Yes please and I can not wait to do it!” 

In this episode of 7 On Sundays™ we talk to Caroline, who has experienced sexual assault either intentionally or due to lack of education on the part of her partner. She did not consent to what happened during a hookup. The next day, the vague but scary, sickening, unwanted, and intrusive memories surface. Caroline shares her raw experiences and emotions about this harsh reality.

We are so grateful to Caroline, a heroic warrior willing to speak out to help others. She turns her experience from pain to triumph, even if only for her little sisters. Thank you Caroline.

RESOURCES

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) 800.656.HOPE,online.rainn.org y rainn.org/es

988 (National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline)

TIMESTAMP

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:54 Welcome to 7 on Sundays

01:26 Introducing Caroline's Story

03:08 Caroline's Experience of Assault

09:43 Understanding Consent

14:27 Impact on Relationships and Self-Worth

17:27 Learning to Identify Sexual Assault

Setting Boundaries in your Relationship

25:30 Finding Self-Worth During Sex

33:21 Exploring Modern Sexual Norms

38:48 Healthy Intimacy and Communication

42:11 Reflecting on Self-Worth

44:36 Wrap-up: The Power of Consent Education

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye dive deep into a sensitive and often misunderstood topic: sexual choking. Joined by returning guest Joy, the conversation explores personal experiences, societal norms, and the implications of this practice in sexual relationships.

This is a crucial listen for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of sexual relationships, particularly regarding the often-overlooked and dangerous practice of sexual choking. Joy shares her experiences and sheds light on the nuances and potentially deadly unknowns surrounding this practice.

 Listeners will gain insights into:

• Recognizing the Risks

• The Importance of Communication and Boundaries

• Challenging Societal Norms & the Cultural Implications of Pornography

•  

Join us as we delve into these critical discussions with sensitivity and awareness, empowering listeners to advocate for their own safety and well-being in intimate situations.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:48 Hosts Introduction and Episode Overview

01:30 Guest Introduction and Topic Revisit

04:02 Understanding Sensual vs. Aggressive Choking

06:07 Boundaries and Communication During Intimate Moments

08:42 Normalization of Aggressive Sexual Behaviors

17:22 Conversations About Aggressive Sexual Practices

21:26 Advice for Young People and Parents

34:11 The Importance of Clear Communication

35:28 Developing Trust in Relationships

43:27 The Role of Safety in Intimacy

49:42 Final Thoughts and Reflections

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye dive into a candid conversation with Levi, a 20-year-old college student, about the pervasive influence of hustle culture on young people. Levi shares his personal journey of navigating the pressures of achievement, societal expectations, and mental health, offering profound insights on finding balance, authenticity, and purpose. The discussion explores the spiritual and emotional dimensions of hustle culture, providing listeners with both inspiration and practical takeaways.

Resources Mentioned

●      Chi Alpha Campus Ministries: chialpha.com A national organization providing spiritual and community support for college students.

●      The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer: A book exploring the dangers of hurry culture and offering insights on slowing down to live a meaningful life.

Connect with Us

●      Website: 7onsundays.com

●      Instagram: @7onSundaysPodcast

●      Facebook: 7 on Sundays Podcast

●      Email: contact@7onsundays.com

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye welcome Danielle and Everett to discuss the complexities of friendships, particularly during college and young adulthood. They share their personal experiences navigating sorority life, forming meaningful connections, and the challenges of distinguishing genuine relationships from superficial ones. This candid conversation dives into the importance of authenticity, the evolution of friendships, and lessons learned through trials and triumphs.

Topics Discussed

●      The idealized expectations of college friendships vs. reality.

●      Navigating sorority life: the good, the bad, and the unexpected dynamics.

●      Identifying and fostering authentic connections.

●      The impact of societal and social media pressures on forming friendships.

●      Lessons learned from "ride or die" friendships that didn’t last.

●      The significance of quality over quantity in relationships.

●      Practical advice for young adults entering college and seeking meaningful friendships.

Resources Mentioned

●      Tyler Perry’s advice on friendships: LINK Madea-People are like leaves, branches, and roots (A reflective skit offering wisdom on the dynamics of true friendships.)

●      Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call 988 for free and confidential support.

Connect with Us

●      Visit our website: 7onsundays.com

●      Follow us on Instagram: @7onsundays

●      Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform.

Today’s story is about Sara, a survivor of non-consensual pornography (NCP), by her on-again-off-again hook-up we call, Dick! For legal reasons Dr. Chez and Stephanie share this particular story, not Sara herself. 

“Non-consensual pornography,” sometimes called “revenge porn,” is the sharing or distribution of electronic or printed photographs, pictures, or films that; show the genitals, anus, or female breast of the other person; or depicts that person engaged in a sexual act. The distribution, either purposefully or inadvertently, harasses, hurts, or shames the individual depicted in the photos. NCP is illegal in most states and punishments range from small fines to jail time, depending on the state.

The newest iteration of this is known as “deep-fake porn,” where an image or recording is created using part real images, part AI generated images to misrepresent someone doing something that was not actually done. 

Sara is not alone. In fact, 1 in 12 people are the victims of non-consensual pornography, and 1 in 20 admit to perpetrating this crime. The most likely victims are young people between the ages of 15-29. Women represent 90% of victims and are far less likely to be the perpetrators of this crime than men. A study in 2019 suggests the problem has grown 400%!  

In our conversations with young women, we learned that many victims felt coerced or manipulated into taking sexual pictures or videos. Offenders use these images to sell or post (without consent) on sites and/or to blackmail their partners for a variety of reasons. 

For many victims of this technological assault, the traumatic aftermath is the same as sexual assault. The severe and disruptive mental health effects include PTSD, anxiety, and depression. The public humiliation and shame confound the psychological impacts. 

Sara has successfully moved past this horrifying time in her life. She feels some sense of justice and most importantly, she feels stronger and supported. She is thriving and considering working as an advocate to speak out against non-consensual pornography and help others understand the damage it incurs. For the time being however, she is happy to share her journey with anyone who asks.

The tools and therapies that helped Sara will serve as a balm for the explosion of other victims of NCP. 

The resources listed below offer information on your rights and what to do if you are the victim of NCP. There are ways to remove the images and resources for healing. If you are a survivor of these crimes, we want you to know that you are not alone.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:28 Sarah's Story: Understanding Revenge Porn

08:06 Sarah's Journey to Recovery

16:45 Legal and Emotional Ramifications

24:17 Therapies That Helped Sarah Heal

28:52 Raising Awareness About Trauma

36:14 Ethical Considerations and Consent

39:44 The Impact of Non-Consensual Content

42:51 Sarah's Resilience and Final Thoughts

RESOURCES

What To Do if You’re the Target of Revenge Porn (or NCP)

Federal Trade Commission Consumer Advice

Know Your Rights (Legal Voice)

National Association of Attorneys General

Find an EMDR therapist

Find a Therapist Through Psychology Today

RAINN 800.656.HOPE,online.rainn.org y rainn.org/es

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye discuss the profound challenges of depression and loneliness with guest Belle. The conversation delves into Belle's personal experiences with suicidal ideation, coping mechanisms, and the impact of college life on mental health. The episode highlights the importance of recognizing depression, creating a supportive routine, and reducing the stigma around mental health. Belle shares valuable insights and practical strategies for managing depression, making meaningful connections, and helping those in crisis. Listeners are reminded that the show is for mature audiences and that mental health support is always available through the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988.

RESOURCES

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline      Call or Text  #988

Crisis Text Line text "TALK" to 741-741

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (substance abuse)

1-800-662-HELP (4357)

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:16 Belle's Personal Experience with Depression

05:22 Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact

07:04 Depression is a Numbness to Joy

09:33 Why Depression Shows up in College

13:26 The Role of Loneliness and Social Media

16:56 Hookup Culture and Depression

20:47 Suicidal Ideation and Seeking Help

29:32 Therapeutic Tools and Strategies

38:18 Final Thoughts and Resources

Do you remember your first crush? The rush of excitement when your friend told you your crush was also interested in you? The dizzying blur of getting ready for the first gathering where you will hang out? And then the opportunity presents itself to be alone, together. 

This was the experience of Hope, today’s guest, when she was just 15-years-old! And as soon as she and her crush were alone, the innocent fairytale ended. Hope, like too many young people their first foray into hooking up or relationships can be jarring and filled with immediate sexual expectations, was confused and scared. Grappling with the reality of coerced sex as well as cultural, family and religious messaging Hope felt hopeless.  

Porn influence over sexual culture and lack of realistic sex education leave many young adults in situations way over their heads and out of their control. Hope is a resilient warrior who found her biggest ally was her big sister.  Thank God for the big sisters who can offer light.  Hope is sharing her story and how she came out on the other side, she is now the light to guide others who may have experienced the same thing.

RESOURCES

National Sexual Assault Hotline FREE & CONFIDENTIAL   1.800.656.4673 

or visit RAINN.ORG or Chat online at online.rainn.org

National Domestic Dating Violence Hotlines 800.799.SAFE (7233)

and Love Is Respect 866.331.9474 (A service of the National Domestic Violence Hotline) 

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Welcome to Seven on Sundays Podcast

01:14 Hope's Courageous Journey 

07:51 The Aftermath and Realizations

10:00 Seeking Help and Learning from Experience

12:57 Empowerment and Sharing the Story

16:56 Insights on Consent and Red Flags

23:59 Healing, Therapy, and Moving Forward

30:29 Addressing the Impact of Sexual Assault & Empowering Messages for Survivors

38:12 The Control of Porn Indoctrination

41:53 The Role of Family Support in Healing

47:35 The Importance of Education on Sexual Assault and Consent

49:58 Wrap-up & Our Final Thoughts

For some parents and grandparents today, their high school relationships were “sweet” and innocent. While this was not the case for everyone in previous generations, today, the dating landscape has dramatically shifted. In current culture, many girls' ideas of relationships are informed by rom-coms at a time while their male counterparts are watching porn. Relationship and sexual expectations couldn’t be further apart.

If you listen to pop culture’s take on pornography you will hear, “Porn is absolutely not problematic” and sometimes even described as “healthy.”  Cultural narratives insist, "Everyone watches porn and if you don’t like it, you are the one with the problem.” 

With easy access and early exposure most young people have seen and many habituate pornography. Young men are more than twice as likely than young women to habituate porn.  So how does it impact relationships? Can pornography destroy a relationship? How does porn affect you and/or your partner’s mental health and attitudes about sex? Has your partner insisted you watch porn? 

What role does porn have in changing intimate relationships and sexual expectations?  How does your partner feel about themselves when you watch porn?  Is everything as “peachy” as the media and the porn industry would have you believe? 

In today’s 7 On Sundays episode, you will hear from Nicole. She shares how pornography changed her sexual relationship with her first and long-term boyfriend and made her feel like she was never enough!

RESOURCES:

If you or someone you love is struggling with porn addiction please find a certified sex therapist.

https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory 

Book: The Porn Trap by Wendy & Larry Maltz

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Introduction: A Warning for Mature Audiences

00:51 Nicole's Story: The Impact of Porn on Relationships

04:21 The Unhealthy Dynamics of Nicole's Relationship

09:19 The Role That Porn Played in Nicole’s relationship

12:17 The Mental Health Impact of Dating a Porn Addict

16:44 Can You be a Porn Addict

21:52 The Pressure to become a Porn Star

25:21 Exploring the Depths of Consent and Coercion

30:04 Reflecting on Relationship Dynamics Beyond the Bedroom

32:20 The Cultural Normalization of Pornography and Its Effects

35:40 The Quest for True Connection Beyond Physical Attraction

38:07 Career Aspirations and Moving Forward Post-Breakup

40:03 Addressing the Challenges of Porn-Induced Expectations in Relationships

54:23 The Journey Towards Healing and Self-Advocacy

56:25 Final Thoughts and Resources for Further Understanding

What's happening socially in institutions of higher learning?

Culture says that college is the time of your life when you'll meet your best friends and future spouse! Parents and others reiterate this as teens venture out to college. 

But what about when it's not? Sometimes, after all the angst and anticipation, we get to college and realize, "It just isn't what I thought it would be!" It's a WTF moment. Our guests wonder, "Did I make a mistake?" "How can I feel so alone when surrounded by so many other students?" "Am you the only one feeling this way?" Some might wonder if partying is the path to finding their tribe. A quick flip through social media shows your friends supposedly living their best lives. 

In this 7 On Sundays™ episode, our guests include a male sophomore from a university on the West Coast and a female senior attending an East Coast college. Both share their stories of unmet expectations meeting a disheartened reality. 

While studying her passion, Anna expected to find her best friends (i.e., bridesmaids) and future husband. Henry hoped to have "the best four years of his life." None of this is happening. How are these bright students navigating this? As we were, you might be surprised to hear how they are reframing the disappointments and charting a new course.

Disclaimer: 7 On Sundays™ is for mature audiences only as we discuss topics that can be triggering. Please use caution when listening.

Resources:

Sober activity suggestions: https://joinmonument.com/resources/sober-activities-fun-fulfilling/

TIMESTAMP:

[00:02:48] Interview with college students Henry and Anna

[00:03:27] Anna's college experience, expectations, and disappointments

[00:04:42] Peer comparisons and social media influence

[00:08:38] Henry's expectations vs. reality in college

[00:11:34] The challenge of going out sober

[00:18:38] Finding like-minded friends and groups in college

[00:22:18] Pressure and expectations around friendships

[00:25:13] Feeling lost in college and the discrepancy between public persona and true self

[00:28:35] The hidden struggles behind social media facades

[00:32:32] The value of sharing, authenticity, and self-discovery

[00:42:26] The importance of being comfortable alone

[00:47:37] Growing through discomfort and self-discovery

[00:51:03] Not fitting the mold of a typical college experience

[00:55:11] Finding meaning and purpose

[00:58:08] Trying to meet other’s expectations and neglecting what we already have

[01:01:51] Gratitude and our own fulfilling needs

Are drinking and college synonymous? Can you name a movie with college students where alcohol and partying are not pictured? Let us know when you find one! 

While culture promotes the college drinking lifestyle, what do students really think about it? Does it help you find friends? Date with the best intentions? Ease social anxiety? 

For many young people heading off to college, anxiety becomes more pronounced and may reach new levels away from home and all that is familiar. Becoming part of a new community requires social interactions and alcohol is often touted as a balm for the socially anxious. It has become a staple in social gatherings…”Let’s grab a drink” or “let’s hit the bars or frats.” A drink in hand is expected and some might say, “required” in any college social setting. 

In today’s episode, we talk to Abby about her experience with anxiety, diagnosed at 8 years of age, alcohol, and managing her symptoms. This girl knows this subject well! Her insight is poignant about the relationship of anxiety and alcohol. Tune in to hear from someone who has lived the ups and downs of anxiety in college. She found what works for her–and it’s not medication. We eagerly wrote down her list of tools and tips–hopefully, you will too. Many of us can relate to this issue…please know, you are not alone! 

RESOURCES

**If you struggle with severe anxiety and/or substance abuse, please reach out to your college or local counseling center for help or call *988 if you feel you need immediate crisis counseling.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Welcome and Trigger Warning

01:13 Meet the Hosts and Today's Topic: Anxiety in Youth

02:38 Abby's Journey with Anxiety: From Childhood to Therapy

04:51 The Impact of Empathy on Anxiety

06:07 Exploring Therapy and Medication for Anxiety

08:07 Anxiety Triggers and Causes

14:54 The Role of Family and Initial Therapy Experiences

19:30 Effective Coping Strategies for Anxiety

22:32 Anxiety in College: Challenges and Coping Mechanisms

28:23 Abby's Reflections and Future Aspirations

32:14 Exploring the Intersection of Physical and Mental Health

35:57 Embracing Somatic Tools for Mental Health

44:22 Therapeutic Tools and Techniques for Managing Anxiety

52:14 Family Support in Mental Health

57:03 Closing Thoughts: The Importance of Mental Health Awareness

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye engage in an insightful conversation with college sophomores Bonnie and Beth. They discuss the challenges and dangers young adults face in seeking connections, particularly through dating apps and hookups. The discussion delves into the emotional repercussions of seeking validation through shallow encounters and emphasizes the importance of building genuine, meaningful relationships. The hosts offer advice on self-worth, safety, and the significance of listening to trusted friends and family when making risky decisions. This episode is an honest exploration of the pressures and pitfalls of young adult relationships, aiming to inspire listeners to pursue meaningful connections and self-care.

RESOURCES:

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:14 Episode Overview

02:22 Bonnie's Story: Seeking Connection

13:05 Beth's Story: Mixed Signals and Heartbreak

15:58 Self-Worth and Seeking Genuine Connection

21:17 Reflecting on Personal Needs and Desires

34:15 Realizing What You Want in a Relationship

36:05 The Importance of Self-Love and Self-Knowledge

37:43 The Power of Affirmations and Self-Respect

41:35 Empowered Statements and Personal Growth

47:35 Building Genuine Connections and Intimacy

54:15 Making Safe and Thoughtful Decisions

58:24 Closing Thoughts and Final Advice

In this powerful second part of our interview with Parker, we delve deep into the impacts of growing up in a sheltered, conservative environment and the formative influence of pornography on mental health, self-esteem, and relationships. Parker courageously shares her journey of self-awareness and healing, offering listeners valuable insights into overcoming shame, understanding sexuality, and rebuilding confidence.

Resources Mentioned

●      Digital Intentionalism 7 On Sundays Podcast with Harrison Haynes (episode 
Discusses strategies to reduce digital distractions and build healthier habits.

●      Books on Body Awareness and Cycle Tracking
Explore resources that helped Parker understand her menstrual cycle and its impact on her mental health.

●      988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
A free, confidential resource for anyone in crisis.

Connect with Us

●      Website: 7onsundays.com
Find past episodes, resources, and show updates.

●      Social Media:
Instagram: @7OnSundays
Facebook: 7 On Sundays
Twitter: @7OnSundays

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye dive deep into candid discussions with Sam, a recent college graduate, who shares her journey of navigating through hookup culture and finding self-worth. The conversation explores Sam’s personal experiences, the impact of early family dynamics on her relationships, the realization of needing more than superficial validation, and how she learned to set firm boundaries. This episode is a profound look at how young adults can reconcile past traumas and choose healthier paths in their relationships.

The discussion includes insights on overcoming codependency, understanding the influence of childhood experiences on adult relationships, and the journey towards embracing self-respect and healthy interactions. Sam highlights the significance of clear boundaries and the importance of communication in fostering meaningful connections.

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:17 Sam's College Experience and Hookup Culture

03:51 Seeking Validation Through Hookups

06:34 Codependency and Early Relationships

18:03 Impact of Childhood and Parental Influence

22:51 Healing and Self-Realization

29:50 Transformation and Moving Forward

35:45 The Importance of Communication in Relationships

37:41 Empowerment Through Boundaries

38:33 Parental Influence and Personal Development

41:30 Navigating Dating and Setting Expectations

55:14 The Role of Courage in Building Relationships

57:20 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

What happens when trauma is not addressed and healed in a family? Often, untreated wounds and patterns of dysfunction, consciously or unconsciously, are repeated and carried forth within families as “intergenerational trauma.” 

While the concept of Intergenerational trauma may be a new idea to some, others live it firsthand. 

We learn much more from our forebears than language and favorite family recipes. We learn and experience imprinted paradigms for communication, relationship functioning, mental health coping strategies, and self esteem. Unfortunately, in many cases, parents model ineffective and unhealthy coping because of addiction, abuse, stress, rage and conflict in marriages and families. Children watch how a parent handles mistreatment from a partner and overwhelm. If a parent’s conflict resolution skills, self worth, therapeutic resources, and support are limited, this has an impact on all the family members.  

Today’s guest, Lilith, lived in a home with an abusive step-father and a mother attracted to emotionally unavailable and violent men. Thankfully, Lillith had a loving grandmother who helped raise her. However, her grandmother was a child of the foster care system and likely had her own unhealed emotional scars.. 

What is the fallout of this upbringing? For Lilith, the traumas run deep and her emotional struggles are at times, debilitating. But…she is determined to raise her young son differently.  Dr. Chez shares powerful, transformative tools to help Lilith begin the long journey of looking at and working through her intergenerational and individual traumas.

RESOURCES

If you or a loved one are in an abusive relationship, please call your local police or

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 

 *988 the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Content Warning and Introduction

01:21 Navigating Difficult Relationships and Self-Advocacy

07:38 Lilith's Journey: How Childhood Trauma Follows Us

18:01 Healing and Reprogramming Trauma

26:41 Generational Patterns and the Path to Healing

31:00 Exploring the Roots of Relationship Struggles

32:25 Addressing the Impact of Sexual Abuse

34:29 The Power of Words and Self-Expression

36:39 Empowerment Through Setting Boundaries and  Self-Nurturing Strategies

39:08 The Role of Parenthood in Personal Healing

48:25 Sharing to Heal: The Power of Community Support

56:19 Concluding Thoughts: Never Give Up

How do women really feel about their vaginas(vulvas)?

A pornified culture says “vaginas” (correct term is “vulvas”), need to look a certain way to not evoke mockery and shame. Whether girls watch porn or not, today they know exactly what their vulvas “should” look like.  No surprise it is almost never “porn perfect”. 

What happens psychologically when your vulva is something you view with disgust? How does it hurt your self image? Your self esteem?  How does it change what intimacy looks like for you?

On today’s episode of 7 On Sundays™ we talk to Teddy. Teddy shares her hatred of her vulva. It holds so much shame. She refuses to undress in front of others despite feeling confident in other areas of her life. 

We need to take a collective breath, and see this cultural phenomenon for what it is…incredibly unhealthy and damaging based on cultural and normative lies around body image. And we need to understand it's nefarious origins are in the most unhealthy of places, pornography.

In today, 7onSundays episode, Teddy is trying to take a “second look” at her most hated body part.

RESOURCES:

An Instagram that shares the wide ranging variation of vulvas

Instagram: The Vulva Gallery: @the.vulva.gallery

An Instagram that shares the wide ranging variation of human bodies

The Body Diversity Gallery: @thebodydiversitygallery

Amazing books about women's bodies :

Come As You Are - by Emily Nagoski, PhD

Becoming Cliterate - Dr. Laurie Mintz

SHOW TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Welcome to Seven on Sundays: A Candid Discussion on Sensitive Topics

01:31 Introducing the Topic: Genital Shaming and Dysmorphia

02:50 The Importance of Proper Terminology and Early Education

08:10 Teddy's Courageous Conversation: A Deep Dive into Insecurities

13:12 Understanding and Accepting Body Diversity

21:56 The Journey Towards Self-Love and Acceptance

32:31 Confronting Societal Standards of Perfection

33:11 Personal Journey to Self-Acceptance

34:43 Addressing Genital Shame and Cultural Narratives

38:47 The Role of Education and Parental Guidance in Body Positivity

47:2 5 Challenging Harmful Trends and Embracing Natural Beauty

49:31 The Power of Positive Self-Talk and Supportive Relationships

56:05 Wrapping Up

What's happening in hookup culture today? 

Pop culture often portrays having sex with your Tinder date as empowering. Many young people don't question this but feel empty and used from the experience. Often, sexual and cultural nonchalance clashes with the human desire to be wanted, cherished, held, and seen. This creates a disconnect. Like our guest, Joy, individuals may compromise themselves by rationalizing, "If I have sex, at least I might get the aftercare (defined as hugs/affection)."

In this  7 On Sundays™ episode, our 19-year guest, Joy, candidly shares her hookup stories, some of which are dangerous, "scary," and all unfilling. While her stories shocked and saddened us, we know she is absolutely not alone in having these experiences.

Joy integrates new tools and changes her perspective by giving herself the love she wants and deserves---She is no longer willing to be "a waiting room!"

Disclaimer:  7 On Sundays™ is for mature audiences only as we discuss sensitive topics.  Please use caution when listening.

RESOURCES:

 “Connection is the energy that exists between people when the feel seen, heard and valued: when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship"  -Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart (2021)

TIMESTAMP:

[00:03:39] Joy's background and decision to share her story

[00:04:48] Sex as a scary experience

[00:08:45] Joy’s first sexual experience and expectations

[00:12:36] The emotional toll of friends with benefits

[00:14:40] Feeling like a "Waiting Room" for men

[00:17:01] Joy's pattern of seeking connection through sex

[00:20:59] The influence of empowerment and unrealistic media portrayal of sexual experiences

[00:26:15] Disappointment in today’s hookup culture

[00:30:16] The shared experience of loneliness among young adults

[00:34:05] The undertone of violence and aggression in college

[00:34:22] A disturbing encounter and questioning consent

[00:40:41] Joy's reflection on consent and justifying the encounter

[00:42:54] Redefining the definition of consent

[00:45:40] The expectation of choking and aggressive sex

[00:47:28] The desire for aftercare and emotional connection 

[00:49:44] Misinformation from porn and its impact on women's pleasure

[00:53:08] Emotional connection is being left out in today’s sexual education

[00:57:02] Joy's journey working with a therapist towards healthier boundaries and self-understanding

[01:03:06] Moving from #MeToo to #NoMore

[01:04:28] WRAP UP

Did you have a natural curiosity about sex that led you down a path to porn? Did it become a compulsion and eventually an addiction that shaped your view of sex and relationships? Unfortunately, many of the teens and young adults we speak with answer these questions with an anonymous "yes."

RESOURCES

Your Brain On Porn website https://www.yourbrainonporn.com

The Porn Trap -  By Wendy & Larry Maltz

The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography 

UPCOMING 7 ON SUNDAYS EPISODE: CICI & The Dark Side Of Porn

TIMESTAMP

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning

01:28 The Impact of Pornography on Young Adults

05:24 Anne's Story: Early Exposure and Its Effects

09:15 Exploring the Influence of Porn on Sexual Development

14:38 First Experiences with Porn

19:58 The Female Perspective of Pornography

29:22 The Shift in Perception: From Pleasure to Disgust

31:12 Reflecting on the Porn Industry and Its Victims

33:21 Exploring the Shocking World of Pornography

36:22 Understanding the Confusion and Dissonance in Arousal

40:34 The Role of Pornography in Shaping Sexual Expectations

42:16 Navigating the Complexities of First Sexual Experiences

46:59 The Influence of Erotica and Smut on Sexual Education

47:54 Addressing the Dangers of Early Exposure to Pornography

56:13 The Importance of Open Conversations About Sexuality

01:03:27 Closing Remarks and Resources for Mental Health Support

In this episode of the 7 On Sundays podcast, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye tackle sensitive and often triggering topics surrounding the porn industry. Through Stephanie's candid conversation with former adult film star Cici, they explore the dehumanization and abuse experienced by women and men within the porn industry. They delve into the psychological and physical harm perpetuated by the industry, discussing the impact of conditioning, the lack of safety standards, and the devastating consequences for those involved. This episode highlights the need for awareness, critical thinking, and bringing humanity back into the conversation.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Welcome to 7 On Sundays

01:28 Impactful Interview with Cici

04:27 Lack of Safety and Protections

10:13 The Exploitation of Youth

16:31 The Recruiter's Trap

26:03 The Concept of 'Making Hate'

28:18 The Evolution of Pornography

30:39 The Impact of Violent Pornography

33:05 Psychological and Emotional Effects

37:22 The Industry's Dark Side

44:04 Porn Is Teaching A Twisted Version of Sex

48:02 Empowerment and Critical Thinking

51:40 Final Thoughts and Resources

Dr. Chez and Stephanie take a critical look at the time honored tradition of fraternity and sororotiy hazing.  As kids head back to school, or are going to college for the first time they will likely make the decision to rush Greek life or not. What are the good and bad aspects of the Greek system. Why are we allowing others to tell us our worth?  How is it hurting young people? how could the system be improved?  Let's dig in!

TIMESTAMPS

[00:01:30] Introduction to sorority and fraternity hazing discussion

[00:03:55] The appeal of fraternities and sororities

[00:07:05] Dr. Chez’s excitement for her daughter joining a sorority

[00:07:57] Personal experience of Dr. Chez’s son being harmed during fraternity hazing

[00:11:15] Introduction to the book "Among the Bros" and its coverage of fraternity crimes

[00:17:07] Understanding hazing laws and university conduct codes

[00:21:40] The Bystander Effect in Hazing Situations

[00:26:42] Women and identity in sororities

[00:29:45] The National Epidemic of Loneliness and Its Relation to Hazing

[00:31:15] The Impact of Greek Life on Parental Pride

[00:41:45] Making meaningful connections in college

[00:44:05] Creating college community

[00:49:03] Addressing both the physical and emotional abuse in hazing

[00:50:56] Hazing experiences in sororities

In this impactful episode of "7 on Sundays," host Stephanie Boye engages in a deeply moving conversation with Andrea Heinz, Canadian author, advocate, and former sex worker. Andrea shares her personal journey through the commercial sex industry, her advocacy for the Nordic model, and the societal structures that perpetuate exploitation. This episode sheds light on the realities of sex work, the challenges of exiting the industry, and the urgent need for education and systemic change.

TOPICS DISCUSSED

●      Andrea Heinz’s Background: From her entry into the sex trade due to financial hardship to becoming an advocate and author.

●      The Nordic Model: A legal approach to prostitution that focuses on supporting individuals in prostitution while targeting buyers and exploiters.

●      Sex Work vs. Sexual Agency: Exploring the lack of autonomy and agency in the commercial sex industry.

●      The Impact of Hypersexualized Culture: How societal narratives glamorize sex work, leading many into exploitation.

●      The Challenges of Exiting: Insights into the emotional, financial, and societal barriers faced by individuals attempting to leave the industry.

●      John Schools: Programs aimed at educating men who buy sex and reducing demand through restorative justice.

●      The Importance of Education: Strategies to educate youth and adults about the realities of the sex trade and its systemic drivers.

●      Andrea’s Advocacy Efforts: Her book, docuseries, and public speaking engagements that aim to dismantle harmful sex work ideologies.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

●      Andrea Heinz’s Book: When Men Buy Sex, Who Really Pays? Link to Purchase A powerful exploration of exploitation, survival, and advocacy within the Canadian sex trade.

●      CEASE (Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation): Website A Canadian nonprofit providing support to individuals exiting the sex trade.

●      Prostitution Narratives: Edited by Caroline Norma and Melinda Tankard Reist An anthology featuring Andrea’s essay under the alias “Kendra.”

●      Epic (EPIK): Website An organization intercepting transactions and offering support to men seeking to buy sex.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:15 Personal Stories and Industry Realities

00:59 Meet the Host and Guest

01:11 Andrea Heinz's Background and Advocacy

01:35 Understanding the Nordic Model

02:13 Andrea's Powerful Essay Excerpt

03:36 Sex Work and Sexual Agency

04:11 The Reality of Boundaries in Sex Work

04:58 Andrea's Journey and Insights

05:23 The Slippery Slope of Sex Work

06:00 The Challenges of Exiting the Industry

09:07 Legal Perspectives on Prostitution

14:05 Andrea's Personal Story

19:13 The Impact of Hyper-Sexualized Culture

25:32 The Stigma and Secrecy of Sex Work

27:49 Andrea's Public Advocacy

35:55 Understanding Trafficking and Pimping

40:46 A Story of Trafficking in an Open Marriage

41:34 Clarifying the Distinction Between Pimping and Trafficking

42:17 Personal Reflections on Trafficking and Coercion

44:06 The Complexities of Coercion in the Sex Industry

47:02 The Catalyst for Leaving the Industry

49:17 Educating Men About the Realities of Sex Work

50:19 The Impact of Pornography on Young Men

54:32 The Role of John's Schools in Rehabilitation

01:05:54 The Importance of Early Education and Intervention

01:12:11 Addressing Socioeconomic and Patriarchal Issues

01:15:41 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Connect with Us

●      Website: 7 on Sundays Podcast

●      Instagram: @7onSundays

●      Twitter: @7onSundaysPod

●      Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts

In this emotionally powerful episode, hosts Stephanie Boye and Dr. Chez Leeby engage in a heartfelt conversation with Laura and Beverly, two mothers who have navigated the profound loss of their children. Together, they share their stories, experiences with grief, and journeys toward healing. This episode touches on spirituality, connection with loved ones in spirit, and how Laura and Beverly found support and purpose through Helping Parents Heal, a supportive community for parents who have lost children.

RESOURCES

Community Recommendations

Helping Parents Heal  

An organization dedicated to helping parents who have experienced the loss of a child find peace and connection.

Website: [helpingparentsheal.org](http://helpingparentsheal.org)  

Book Recommendations

  "Dying to Be Me"  by Anita Moorjani  

  "Walking in the Garden of Souls"  by George Anderson  

  "When Bad Things Happen to Good People"  by Harold Kushner

Podcast Recommendation  

Next Level Soul – A podcast exploring spiritual topics, including near-death experiences and afterlife connections.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:17 Opening Thoughts on Life and Loss

00:55 Host and Guest Introductions

03:22 Laura's Story of Loss and Healing

08:57 Connecting with Loved Ones in Spirit

11:27 The Power of Meditation and Signs

16:14 Navigating Grief and Finding Purpose

22:16 Embracing Emotions and Support

42:01 The Power of Presence in Therapy

43:03 Soul Agreements and Spiritual Realizations

43:41 Stories of Spiritual Lessons

48:23 The Healing Journey and Community Support

55:08 Resources for Healing and Connection

01:02:46 Personal Reflections and Final Thoughts

What are the messages we get about our weight?

Family, parents, peers, doctors, social media, and partners -they all have something to say about the idealized picture of both male and female bodies.

Culture now promotes uber thin bodies (from glycemic control medications for diabetes). As our guest Ruby shares, social media platforms actually teach young followers "how to" self harm (cutting) and "how to" become anorexic. Parents unknowingly, comment on weight and eating patterns of growing teens and miss the signs. Peers, friends, and partners shame individuals around weight, even overtly as Greek life ratings or bullying. Weight related teasing is the most common form of bullying. Kids who are bullied are 1.5 more likely to binge and 1.5 more likely to use extreme methods later.

Often, eating disorders are fueled by a need to be “perfect" and a need to feel control because of past unhealed traumatic experiences.

Eating disorders (restrictive eating and a preoccupation with food, calories, and exercise) are more prevalent than ever before in females ages 18-25.

College is often a perfect storm of many new and distressing variables that can lead to an eating disorder including: 

• first time living alone, away from home, 

• first time managing your schedule and a new social context, 

• first time managing what and when and how much you eat, 

• increased workload, less structure, and a change in sleeping/eating patterns

Coupled with:

• lower self esteem and high self expectations

• pressure and preoccupation with body image and weight

• social media feeds that teach techniques for extreme dieting, self harm, and eating disorders

Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, orthorexia) can be deadly–but they are very treatable. In fact, up to 10% of people diagnosed with anorexia will die within 10 years and 20% in 20 years.  

Our guest Ruby helps us understand how her eating disorder first developed, how quickly it became extremely dangerous (losing half her body weight), and most importantly, her recovery process. 

This is a raw, real conversation with Ruby who shares her feelings about her self starvation and what feeds her hope. 

If you or anyone you know needs support and information, please call the

National Eating Disorder Hotline

• 1-800-931-2237.

• Text “NEDA” to 741-741

• 988 (National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline)

 Episode Timestamps

[00:01:44] Introduction to Ruby's journey of recovery from self-harm and disordered eating

[00:03:29] Ruby shares how social media negatively impacted her childhood and mental health

[00:04:12] How social media taught her harmful behaviors like self-harm and restrictive eating

[00:05:38] Ruby’s initial attempt at self-harm, her emotional reaction to it, and her family’s response

[00:12:52] The progression from self-harm to eating disorders

[00:13:25] The cultural and medical pressure on body image

[00:21:29] The connection between orthorexia and other eating disorders

[00:26:45] Ruby’s experience of being admitted for treatment of her eating disorder

[00:29:14] The role of parents and friends in recognizing eating disorders

[00:35:17] The impact of childhood teasing and bullying

[00:38:24] Challenging cultural norms and embracing body positivity

[00:42:22] The benefits of therapy and journaling for recovery

[00:43:48] Separating yourself from the diagnosis

[00:50:14] Wrap up

This episode of the '7 on Sundays' podcast, hosted by Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye, dive into the controversial topic of smut, a form of erotic literature that is popular among teens and young adults. With guest Anne, a college student, the discussion covers her personal journey through fanfiction and smut, the psychological and societal impacts, and the normalization of content that often parallels the explicitness of pornography. Anne shares insights on how smut shapes sexual expectations and its effects on real-life relationships. The episode explores the hidden dangers, parental ignorance, and the broad normalization among young readers while addressing the need for open conversations and self-regulation.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning

01:28 Guest Introduction and Early Exposure to Smut

02:35 Discovering Fan Fiction and Smut

04:05 Exploring Different Types of Fan Fiction

04:50 Impact of Fan Fiction on Sexual Understanding

12:58 Revisiting Old Fan Fiction

20:13 Hiding Fan Fiction from Parents

25:30 Normalization and Popularity of Smut

27:12 Violent Themes in Smut

29:24 Psychological Impact and Sexual Templates

41:45 Power Dynamics in Smut Literature

42:37 The Escalation of Smut Writing

43:52 Vanilla and Consent in Modern Relationships

46:59 The Impact of Smut on Real-Life Relationships

48:54 The Importance of Human Connection

52:42 Addressing the Influence of Smut on Youth

57:29 Final Thoughts and Reflections

In this heartfelt episode, Lexi shares her deeply personal journey of navigating physical and emotional challenges related to intimacy and sexual health. With the guidance of hosts Stephanie Boye, a seasoned sex educator, and Dr. Chez Leeby, a licensed marriage and family therapist, Lexi opens up about her experiences with hymenectomy, pelvic floor therapy, and finding the courage to advocate for her well-being. Together, they unpack the stigmas and societal pressures surrounding hookup culture, relationships, and self-discovery, offering listeners validation and insights into healing and empowerment.

Topics Discussed

- The emotional and physical challenges Lexi faced with tampons and intimacy.

- Diagnosis and treatment: Understanding hymenectomy and its impact.

- Pelvic floor therapy: Tools and techniques for overcoming pain.

- The emotional toll of societal pressures and feeling “behind.”

- Exploring hookup culture from a personal and reflective perspective.

- The importance of finding supportive doctors and safe spaces.

- Transgenerational trauma: How historical pain can manifest physically.

- Vulnerability and communication: Building trust in relationships.

Resources Mentioned

- **Pelvic Floor Therapy**: Learn more about pelvic health and therapy options [here](https://pelvicpain.org).

- **Psychology Today Therapist Directory**: Find a supportive therapist in your area: [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/).

• **"It’s Not a Trauma Olympics"** by Brené Brown: A guide to understanding and validating personal trauma.
•  

Timestamps

00:00 Trigger Warning

00:17 Coming Up In This Episode

00:51 Welcome to 7 on Sundays

01:29 Lexi's Early Struggles with Tampons

02:39 Discovering the Hymenectomy

04:08 Navigating Sexual Experiences

16:57 Pelvic Floor Therapy

20:43 Exploring Transgenerational Trauma

22:29 Exploring Historical Trauma and Female Bonding

24:23 Navigating Hookup Culture in College

25:01 Personal Reflections on Hookup Culture

Connect with Us

- **Website**: [7onSundays.com](https://7onsundays.com) 

- **Instagram**: [@7onSundays](https://instagram.com/7onSundays) 

- **Twitter**: [@7onSundaysPod](https://twitter.com/7onSundaysPod) 

- **Email**: contact@7onsundays.com 

26:02 Challenges in Current Relationships

28:51 Communicating Vulnerability in Relationships

32:03 Mindset and Physical Tools for Pain-Free Intimacy

40:37 Wrap Up

42:03 The Importance of Validation and Finding the Right Physician

44:05 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

What messages are we getting about sexual hookups from a male POV?

“It’s just part of the college experience.”  Or, “it’s no big deal.” 

Culture, including songs and media, glorifies and normalizes hookups. Parents may say, “just don’t do it.”  But…when it seems like everyone else is going for it, we may say to ourselves “why not?”  Are the gendered ideas about hookups still relevant? 

Today’s 7 On Sundays guests, John and Dave (chosen pseudonyms), are both freshmen from different parts of the country. While they do not speak for their entire gender or generation, their insight and perspectives might surprise you. 

TIMESTAMPS

[00:01:26] Intro of two young college men sharing their thoughts on dating and hookup culture

[00:04:07] Dave and John talk about hookup culture today and its definition

[00:06:11] The stigma and societal expectations of hookup culture

[00:08:20] The desire to choose relationships over hookups

[00:09:26] Societal pressure on young men to engage in hookup culture

[00:11:33] Self-actualization and young men's views of relationships

[00:14:01] The potential judgment towards girls based on their sexual behavior

[00:21:14] Entitlement and expectations associated with buying drinks for someone

[00:31:06] The importance of young people discussing tough topics

[00:33:02] Respect and expectations in hookups

[00:35:32] Consent and the potential consequences of not obtaining clear consent

[00:47:40] The influence of social media on hookup culture and perceptions of girls

[00:54:18] Fear of rejection and having confidence in dating

[01:05:50] Playing the game of relationships in the digital age

Approximately 24 million people in the United States suffer from an eating disorder, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.  It is estimated that 10-20% of female college students struggle with diagnosable eating disorders. Eating disorders are among the deadliest mental illnesses, second only to opioid addiction, resulting in over 10,000 deaths each year. While many individuals keep their eating struggles hidden, the numbers of these disorders are on the rise worldwide.

Today, our guest, Chloe shares her two year journey with anorexia, binge eating, sexual assault, emotional abuse, and bullying–all beginning in high school. She shares her story of staying in a toxic relationship and keeping it hidden from those who loved her most. Chloe is willing to openly discuss her preoccupations with her appearance all while being told she was “fat” by a boyfriend and his friends. Craving love, she became malnourished and then told she looked like a “skeleton.”  

As Chloe says, “no one talks about having toxic relationships then trying to date” after those bad experiences. She is right. No one teaches us how to have healthy relationships. Chloe felt called to teach herself how to be a good partner after being cheated on, manipulated, and emotionally abused. 

Most importantly, Chloe walks us through a personal recovery process that she created for herself. She used music and opened her voice as a path to healing. We are so grateful that she is alive, healthy, and well-nourished today thanks to a variety of self help tools she uses daily. Chloe is committed to her wellness and courageously addressing her internal battles. 

If you struggle with depression, sexual assault, or bullying and need support, please reach out to your college or community counseling centers for therapy and support. 

RESOURCES

If you or anyone you know needs support and information, please call the

National Eating Disorder Hotline

• 1-800-931-2237.

• Text “NEDA” to 741-741

• 988 (National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline)

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Welcome to Seven on Sundays

01:19 Chloe's Journey: Battling Disordered Eating and Toxic Relationships

06:40 Navigating New Relationships and Learning Self-Love

11:28 Triggering Eating Disorders

16:05 How to Support and Love Someone with an Eating Disorder

18:22 Recognizing Your In Toxic Relationships

22:50 Breaking Off a Toxic Relationship

26:12 Addressing Sexual Assault and Its Impact

26:36 Journey Through Disordered Eating and Self-Healing

29:33 The Role of Therapy and Self-Care in Recovery

34:28 Navigating Relationships and Celibacy

42:55 Wrap Up: Thoughts on Eating Disorders and

Today we are re-airing an episode from Stephanie's podcast, Laid Bare With Anonymous X (still available on spotify and all podcast platforms). In this powerful episode re-airing on 7 On Sundays, host Stephanie Boye interviews Cici, a former porn star, who candidly shares her experiences and busts myths surrounding the adult film industry. Big porn is as corrupt and deceitful as all the other BIGs - tobacco, food, pharma. The discussion focuses on the harsh realities faced by performers, including the lack of consent, painful and degrading scenes, unrealistic depictions of sex, and the psychological and physical toll on those involved. This episode aims to educate listeners about the true nature of the porn industry, encouraging critical thinking and informed choices. Viewer discretion is advised.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning

01:17 Hosts Introduction and Episode Overview: Myths and Realities of the Porn Industry

06:09 Cici's Personal Experiences and Testimonies

10:54 Debunking Common Porn Myths

12:12 Myth 1: Porn Sex Positions Are Pleasurable

18:02 Myth 2: Sex Should Last An Hour

22:32 Myth 3: Aggressive Non-consensual Sex is Acceptable

28:24 Myth 4: Size Matters

31:31 Myth 5: Women Enjoy a Facial

34:50 Myth 6: Women Like Being Called Sluts

38:48 Myth 7: All Women Love Anal Sex

48:06 Myth 8: Say Yes to Anything and Everything

50: 35 Myth 9: Porn is a True Depiction of Sex

57:38 Myth 10: Choking Is Acceptable Sex Play

01:00:36 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Stephanie Boye and Dr. Chez Leeby delve into pressing mental health issues affecting young men, featuring a candid conversation with 24-year-old college graduate Thomas. The discussion sheds light on the high rates of suicide among young adults, influenced by societal pressures, toxic masculinity, and hustle culture. Thomas recounts his personal struggles and losses, underscoring the urgency of open dialogues, group therapy, and strong support networks. The episode also explores the significance of retreats and character-building activities, advocating for practical strategies like employing therapists for fraternities. Overall, it emphasizes the need for creating environments where young men can comfortably seek help and find their purpose in early adulthood.

RESOURCES

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline      Call or Text  #988

Crisis Text Line text "TALK" to 741-741

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (substance abuse)

1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Timestamps

00:00 Trigger Warning

00:47 Hosts Introduction and Episode Overview

01:54 Discussing Suicide and Mental Health Statistics

06:08 The Danger of Hustle Culture

09:16 Thomas’s Personal Experience with Suicide

15:47 Emotional Impact and Coping Mechanisms

26:41 Toxic Masculinity and Hustle Culture

39:32 Exploring New Interests

41:09 Parental Concerns and Support

41:29 Pursuing Passion Despite Practicality

42:15 Mental Health and Expectations

43:21 The Loneliness Epidemic Among Men

45:36 Superficiality and Genuine Connections

48:52 Recognizing Red Flags in Mental Health

53:22 The Importance of Deep Conversations

01:01:58 Proposed Solutions for Mental Health Support

01:14:39 Final Thoughts and Future Plans

In this episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye converse with Hannah, a sophomore at a large public university on the West Coast, about the challenges female students face when not involved in sorority life. The discussion delves into issues such as loneliness, the pressures of Greek life, non-consensual encounters at frat parties, and the broader hookup culture. Hannah shares personal experiences and advice on maintaining self-respect and authenticity despite peer and societal pressures. The episode emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself, the power of saying 'no,' and the impact of media and pop culture on young adults. It concludes with a reminder that opting out of certain social activities is normal and that the show is not a substitute for professional mental health support.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning

01:15 Welcome to 7 on Sundays: Episode Overview

02:48 Hannah’s Story: Frat Party Experiences

05:49 Greek Life and Recruitment Stories

10:12 Fraternity Party Dynamics and Safety Concerns

25:55 Navigating Social Life Outside Greek Parties

30:34 Dealing with Peer Pressure

37:15 The Dangers of Party Culture

39:39 Personal Experience: Being Drugged

41:28 The Impact of Negative Experiences

43:24 Meeting a Healthy Relationship

45:18 Objectification and Sexualization

49:44 Shame and Body Image

59:17 Building Trust in Relationships

01:09:57 Advice for Younger Generations

01:13:19 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

This is the second part of Harrison Haynes' story, a journey that dives deep into healing and recovery from the trauma that began with online grooming.  If you missed last week's episode, we encourage you to catch up before listening to today’s continuation. Prepare yourself for a deep dive into a story of survival, resilience, and the power of vulnerability.

In this episode, Harrison bravely continues sharing his journey of healing after experiencing trauma from online grooming and self-harm. You’ll hear firsthand how moments of isolation can evolve into powerful opportunities for growth and resilience. Harrison’s story offers insights for anyone navigating recovery from trauma, struggling with loneliness, or seeking connection. His transformation offers hope and valuable lessons on community, vulnerability, and healing. Whether you are a young adult, a parent, or a survivor of trauma, this episode is filled with important takeaways.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:07 Harrison's Story: A Journey of Healing

03:47 A Life-Changing Dream

10:43 Finding Community and Support

14:26 The Power of Vulnerability

20:35 A New Path: From Atheism to Faith

28:54 Advocacy and Activism

31:53 The Importance of Open Conversations

42:15 Navigating Intimacy Beyond Pornography

43:58 The Healing Journey: Embracing Vulnerability

46:08 Unlearning Harmful Narratives

48:30 The Power of Community and Vulnerability

51:36 Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships

54:19 Parenting in the Digital Age

59:31 The Importance of Connection and Support

01:03:52 Final Reflections and Advice

01:19:01 Conclusion and Gratitude

In this 7 On Sundays Episode Dr. Chez and Stephanie explore sorority and fraternity hazing. Their guest, Sadie, shares the stories of her sorority hazing that ultimately caused the sorority to be booted from the campus and Sadie to drop out of the organization. 

In this episode of the 7 On Sundays podcast, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye dive into a candid interview with Hope, who courageously shares her experiences with two significant and emotionally abusive early relationships. Discussing the intense emotional dependency and manipulation she faced, Hope provides detailed insights into recognizing red flags, trusting intuition, and learning from unhealthy relationships. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and seeking support and therapy. Both the hosts and Hope offer valuable advice for young adults navigating similar situations.

RESOURCES

If you or a loved one are in an abusive relationship, please call your local police or

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224

 The National Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474

*988 The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Trigger Warning & Introduction

01:32 Hope's Story: Early Relationships and Emotional Manipulation

06:35 A Second Relationship: Casual to Toxic

11:20 Hope's Reflections and Lessons Learned

17isCatching Red Flags

19:50 Breaking Patterns From Your Upbringing

25:07 Relationships Shouldn’t be a Burden

30:04 Hope's Advice for Young Listeners

37:25 Therapist's Analysis and Final Thoughts

“Sexual abuse refers to any behavior that pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually that they do not want to do. It can also refer to behavior that impacts a person’s ability control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity takes place, including oral sex, rape or controlling reproductive methods and choices”

Sexual abuse “can look like unwanted kissing or touching, unwanted rough or violent sexual activity, refusing to use condoms or restricting someone’s access to birth control, sexual contact with someone intoxicated from drugs or alcohol, unconscious, asleep, or otherwise unable to give clear and informed consent, threatening, pressuring, or otherwise forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts, using sexual insults toward someone.” - LoveIsRespect.org

Every individual has the right to decide what they do or do not want to do sexually. Every individual has the power to voice their affirmative consent with each and every progressive sexual activity. This is not simply a right, it is the law. 

It is important for young people to know that not all sexual assaults are “violent attacks” by a stranger who looks the stereotypical part of the rapist. In fact, most victims of sexual assault know their assailent, and people of all genders and sexualities can be victims, or perpetrators, of sexual abuse/assault. This includes people who are married, dating, in a “friends with benefits” arrangement, or just acquaintances.  

Many young people struggle to understand the nuances of sexual assault and abuse. For most, it is hard to conceptualize that your partner, the person you love and laugh with, can also be your assaulter. 

Early relationships impact us significantly, for good or bad. They shape our expectations, triggers, and preferences. In the beginning of a new relationship, we may feel excited to share our feelings with our parents or guardians. However, we know that If the relationship becomes more intense (possibly even abusive emotionally, physically, or verbally), or sexual, it is more difficult to talk openly with parents. Kids don’t know what to say because there is a hope that things will change. Or, because they wanted a boyfriend, girls think this behavior “comes with the territory.” These relationships then continue unquestioned. Yet, these unhealthy early relationships leave emotional scars that follow them into future relationships. 

Young people may feel, like our guest Bea, that they can “fix” the relationship or that “it’s not that bad” outside of the confusing sexual encounters. Like Bea, many young women may stay in an unhealthy relationship longer than they should or would, knowing the red flags. Everyone must know these red flags and areas where boundaries (and laws) are being violated. Bea’s “first love” was confusing because while her boyfriend had positive attributes, he manipulated and coerced her behind closed doors. Bea courageously shares her insights and what she now wants for herself in relationships.

RESOURCES

Love is Respect
A collaboration between Break the Cycle and the National Dating Abuse Helpline, this web resource provides  information and resources on dating violence and healthy dating attitudes and relationships for youth. The site includes an overview of the issue (e.g., early warning signs, types of abuse, the cycle of abuse), quizzes for teens to determine whether they are experiencing or inflicting abuse, a live chat feature that connects youth with a peer advocate 24/7, videos, a blog, and more. In addition to the live chat, Love is Respect connects youth to the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453. Youth can also reach out for help by texting “loveis” to 22522.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:15 Manipulated To Have Sex

00:50 Welcome To 7 On Sundays

01:28 Bea’s Story: Emotional Manipulation and People Pleasing

08:17 Understanding and Reflecting on the Past

11:36 Breaking Up and Aftermath

14:49 Identifying Manipulation

26:10 Boundaries and People Pleasing

32:22 Exploring Boundaries and Emotional Intelligence

35:08 Baby Steps in People Pleasing Recovery

37:16 The Importance of Sexual Boundaries

41:44 Imposter Syndrome and Sexual Assault

48:20 Reflecting on Past Relationships

53:18 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

In this powerful and candid episode, hosts Stephanie Boye and Dr. Chez Leeby sit down with Parker, a thoughtful and reflective guest who shares her journey of navigating pornography addiction, self-worth, and sexual discovery while growing up in a conservative household. This episode delves into the impacts of early media exposure, shame, and societal expectations on young people’s sexual development and emotional health. Parker’s openness provides insight and hope for listeners who may feel alone in their struggles.

RESOURCES:

The Porn Myth:  Wendy and Larry Maltz

Timestamps

00:00 Trigger Warning

00:17 Coming Up In This Episode

01:15 Welcome to 7 On Sundays

02:02 Early Exposure to Media

03:16 Discovering Pornography

04:33 Struggles with Guilt and Shame

05:15 First Orgasm Experience

08:22 Confession to Mom

15:18 Impact on Self-Esteem

29:04 First Relationship and Parental Disapproval

31:55 Ongoing Struggles with Pornography

34:00 Masturbation Without Pornography

36:03 The Impact of Pornography on the Mind

36:26 Debunking Myths About Male and Female Arousal

37:53 Personal Experiences and Emotional Numbness

39:47 Struggles with Confidence and Performance

42:41 Therapy and the Path to Recovery

43:31 The Role of Communication in Relationships

53:07 Understanding Sexual Pleasure and Misconceptions

56:17 Navigating Relationships and Self-Worth

01:04:07 Concluding Thoughts and Future Conversations

01:05:48 Wrap Up

Connect with Us

●      Website: [Insert Website Link]

●      Instagram: [Insert Instagram Handle]

●      Twitter: [Insert Twitter Handle]

●      Subscribe: [Insert Podcast Subscription Link]

In this powerful episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye engage in a candid conversation with Root, a survivor of sexual trauma. Root shares her deeply personal story, shedding light on the complexities of abusive relationships and the journey towards healing.

This episode is essential for anyone looking to understand the dynamics of abusive relationships, particularly among young adults. Root’s bravery in sharing her story serves as a beacon of hope for others who may be experiencing similar situations. Listeners will gain valuable insights into:

• The significance of recognizing unhealthy patterns in relationships.

• The importance of seeking help and support from trusted individuals.

• How to reclaim one’s narrative after experiencing trauma.

Episode Discusses

• Understanding Boundaries: The discussion emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing one's worth in relationships.

• The Impact of Trauma: Root shares how trauma can manifest in various ways, affecting mental health and self-perception.

• Support Systems: The episode highlights the role of friends and family in recognizing red flags in relationships and providing support.

• Myths Around Sexual Relationships: The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on common myths surrounding consent and sexual behavior that are often perpetuated by societal norms.

Join us as we explore these critical topics with sensitivity and compassion, aiming to empower listeners to advocate for themselves and others.

RESOURCES

If you or a loved one are in an abusive relationship, please call your local police or any of the following...

 *988 the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Call your local police or National Centers for Victims of Crime (NCVC) 1-800-FYI-CALL
if you suspect that you have been the victim of crimes 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 

The National Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
A service of Love is Respect,  this national, 24-hour resource is specifically designed for teens and young adults. The Helpline is accessible by phone or online chat and offers real-time, one-on-one support from peer advocates trained to offer support, information, and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned friends, parents, teachers, clergy, law enforcement, and service providers.

Love is Respect
A collaboration between Break the Cycle and the National Dating Abuse Helpline, this web resource provides  information and resources on dating violence and healthy dating attitudes and relationships for youth. The site includes an overview of the issue (e.g., early warning signs, types of abuse, the cycle of abuse), quizzes for teens to determine whether they are experiencing or inflicting abuse, a live chat feature that connects youth with a peer advocate 24/7, videos, a blog, and more. In addition to the live chat, Love is Respect connects youth to the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453. Youth can also reach out for help by texting “loveis” to 22522.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

00:15 Setting Boundaries in Relationships

00:40 Welcome to 7 on Sundays

01:25 Introducing Root's Story

02:20 Root's First Relationship

03:11 The Abuse Unfolds

06:14 Grounding and Support

07:39 Reflecting on the Trauma

08:34 Understanding the Abuse

17:35 The Impact of Pornography

30:17 Root's Second Relationship

36:35 Understanding Deserved Love

37:29 Setting Boundaries and Self-Worth

38:03 Family Dynamics and Dysfunction

40:35 Breaking the Silence

41:49 The Importance of Therapy

45:49 Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

01:02:43 Power Dynamics in Relationships

01:08:02 The Journey to Healing

01:10:43 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

In this powerful episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Stephanie Boye and Dr. Chez Leeby dive into the story of Sophie, who opens up about her experience with OnlyFans and the complexities of navigating desire, manipulation, and self-worth. Sophie shares how a trusted relationship initially led her into content creation, which soon became a path marked by emotional challenges, self-reflection, and hard-won insights. Stephanie and Dr. Chez explore the themes of codependency, validation, and finding one's voice amid difficult dynamics.

Topics Discussed

• Sophie's Journey with OnlyFans: How a friend’s influence led her into OnlyFans and the unexpected impact it had on her self-image.

• Understanding Manipulation and Control: Identifying subtle signs of coercion and the toll they take on one’s sense of autonomy.

• The Fine Line Between Empowerment and Exploitation: How society markets empowerment and how it can sometimes be used as a tool for manipulation.

• Building Self-Worth: Insights into developing internal validation and boundaries, especially in relationships.

• Advice for Young Listeners: Recognizing the importance of gut instincts, self-reflection, and prioritizing personal values.

Resources Mentioned

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
  A foundational book on understanding codependency and building healthier relationships.

• Codependents Anonymous (CoDA)
  Website link
  A free support group for those navigating codependent relationships.

• National Human Trafficking Hotline
  Website link
  A resource for anyone needing information or support related to trafficking.

Connect with Us

Stay updated with 7 on Sundays:

• Website: www.7onSundays.com

• Instagram: @7onSundays

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:02 Stephanie and Dr. Chez Introduce the Episode

02:38 Sophie's Story Begins

03:06 The Manipulative Relationship with Adam

05:00 The Emotional Toll of OnlyFans

09:11 Reflecting on the Experience

11:53 Understanding the Dynamics of Manipulation

13:08 The Realization of Trafficking

23:18 Advice for Young Girls

35:39 Reflecting on a Defeating Experience

35:53 Understanding Trauma Bonds

36:53 People Pleasing and Validation

40:31 Empowerment vs. Exploitation

42:01 The Reality of OnlyFans

48:16 Trusting Your Gut Instincts

55:17 Concluding Thoughts and Advice

In this episode of the 7 on Sundays podcast, Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye delve into the complex challenges that young adults face during and after college life. They are joined by Lauren, who provides insightful reflections on Greek life, social expectations, and hookup culture. Lauren discusses the importance of self-exploration and emotional intimacy, highlighting the struggles that come with conforming to societal norms and the paradox of choice in college environments. The discussion emphasizes the significance of doing what you genuinely want and not caring about others' opinions to foster authenticity and genuine connections.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:53 Welcome to 7 on Sundays: Exploring College Life

04:06 Social and Academic Expectations

06:41 Hookup Culture in College

13:58 We’re Losing How to be in a Relationship

17:30 Transitioning to Post-College Dating

21:58 The Loneliness Epidemic

26:18 Navigating Greek Life and Hookups

28:36 Rewards and Gender Differences in Hookups

32:20 Fear of Gossip and Rating Systems

33:45 Flying Under the Radar in College

39:34 Advice for College Freshmen

41:48 Wrap-up: Exploring Interests Outside Greek Life

45:39 The Importance of Authentic Connections

50:37 Final Thoughts

This week, we dive deep into the critical and under-discussed topic of non-fatal strangulation with expert Brian Bennett. A retired South Carolina law enforcement veteran and police academy instructor, Brian sheds light on the alarming realities of strangulation in domestic violence, sexual contexts, and beyond. Joined by Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye, the conversation explores the physiological, psychological, and societal implications of strangulation, highlighting its role as a precursor to severe violence and the urgent need for awareness and intervention.

Topics Discussed:

●      The mechanics and dangers of non-fatal strangulation.

●      Recognizing strangulation in domestic violence and sexual contexts.

●      Long-term effects, including cognitive and physical complications.

●      The need for awareness in healthcare, education, and law enforcement.

●      Challenges in legislation and tracking strangulation cases.

●      Resources for education and support.

Resources Mentioned:

●      Institute on Strangulation Prevention: Free online training on non-fatal strangulation.

●      Nurse Joanne and Strangulation (YouTube video): A detailed explanation of why strangulation survivors need medical care.

●      Strangulation Law for SC (Facebook group): Updates, resources, and discussions around non-fatal strangulation in South Carolina.

Timestamps:

00:00 Trigger Warning

00:17 Coming Up In This Episode

00:57 Welcome and Guest Introduction

01:20 Expert Insights: Brian Bennett's Background

05:48 The Broader Scope of Strangulation

09:25 Signs and Symptoms of Strangulation

12:18 The Dangers of Sexual Strangulation

19:02 Long-Term Effects and Medical Complications

29:06 Raising Awareness and Training

30:46 Brian Bennett's Journey and Advocacy

34:08 The Need for Better Understanding and Conversations

40:15 The Dangers of Strangulation

40:57 Strangulation in Mixed Martial Arts

41:39 No Safe Strangulation

42:07 Personal Experiences and Misconceptions

44:43 Legislation and Legal Definitions

48:29 Strangulation as a Predictor of Violence

55:22 Medical Treatment and Awareness

59:20 Sexual Strangulation and Its Risks

01:07:21 Public Awareness and Education

01:08:24 Resources and Final Thoughts

01:13:34 Closing Statements

Connect with Us:

●      Website: 7onSundays.com

●      Facebook: 7 on Sundays

●      Instagram: @7onSundaysPodcast

In this enlightening episode, we welcome Harrison Haynes back to dive into the profound impacts of digital dependency and how intentional technology use can enhance our connections and well-being. Harrison, alongside hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye, explores the challenges of social media addiction, digital minimalism, and creating a life of presence. Through personal stories, actionable advice, and reflections, this episode offers a fresh perspective on digital intentionalism.

Topics Discussed

●      Technology and Relationships: How screens impact our connections and Harrison’s insights on restoring genuine relationships.

●      Post-COVID Social Dynamics: Challenges young adults face in rebuilding face-to-face connections after extended isolation.

●      Intentional Digital Practices: Harrison’s personal journey with a “dumb phone” and how it has transformed his relationships and personal growth.

●      Mindfulness and Digital Minimalism: Tips on creating spaces free from digital distractions to foster personal and communal healing.

●      Building Trust and Presence in Relationships: How setting boundaries with technology fosters stronger, more trusting relationships.

●      Weekly Digital Detox: Harrison’s practice of a regular digital detox and its benefits on his mental clarity and relationship quality.

Resources Mentioned

●      The Light Phone 2
Link
A minimalist phone designed to be used as little as possible, supporting digital intentionalism.

●      The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Link
Discusses the importance of slowing down in a hurried world, referenced by Harrison in his conversation on modern social spaces.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning

00:17 The Impact of Technology on Relationships

01:01 Welcoming Harrison Haynes

01:19 Harrison's Mission and Technology

02:06 Post-COVID Digital Dependency

03:07 The Desire for Real Connections

03:40 Social Anxiety and Digital Distractions

06:18 Creating Intentional Spaces

10:30 The Digital Detox Journey

11:39 The Light Phone Experience

17:13 Mindfulness and Digital Minimalism

24:15 Weekly Digital Detox Practice

25:55 The Impact of Constant Availability in Relationships

27:17 Navigating Long-Distance Relationships with Limited Technology

27:48 The Healing Power of Limited Phone Use

29:20 The Dangers of Codependency and Urgency

32:18 Trust and Vulnerability in Modern Relationships

41:33 Practical Tips for Digital Intentionalism

46:35 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Connect with Us

●      Website: 7onsundays.com

●      Instagram: @7onsundays

●      Twitter: @7onsundays

●      Facebook: 7 on Sundays

In this heartfelt episode of 7 on Sundays, hosts Dr. Chez Leeby and Stephanie Boye are joined by Haley, who shares her journey of overcoming an abusive relationship rooted in a restrictive religious upbringing. Through an honest conversation, Haley reflects on her experience within purity culture, the emotional impact of family dynamics, and her path to reclaiming her voice, boundaries, and self-worth. This episode highlights resilience, self-discovery, and the importance of empowering young people to make informed choices about relationships and personal identity.

Topics Discussed:

• The Impact of Purity Culture: Haley shares her experience of growing up in a fundamentalist environment that enforced rigid gender roles and limited education, leaving her unprepared for healthy relationships.

• Understanding Consent and Emotional Coercion: The conversation explores how emotional manipulation, often masked as love, can lead to a distorted sense of consent and boundaries.

• Healing Through Therapy: Haley discusses how therapy helped her address trauma, understand her own needs, and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

• Reclaiming Self-Worth: A journey from self-doubt to empowerment, Haley explains how she began to prioritize her well-being and recognize her value outside of relationships.

The Role of Friends and Mentors: Supportive friends provided Haley with essential validation and perspective, helping her recognize the abuse and take steps toward healing.

Resources Mentioned:

• 7 on Sundays Website
  7onsundays.com
  An open forum for discussing relationships, mental health, and more.

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Call 988
A free, confidential support line for mental health crises and suicidal thoughts.

In this 7 On Sundays episode, Dr. Chez and Stephanie to to Brooke, a college student who bravely shares her struggles with genital dysmorphia, a form of body dysmorphia. Genital dysmorphia involves a constant concern about the genitalia. Body dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is diagnosed when an individual has a preoccupation with an imagined defect in their appearance or an exaggerated concern with minor aspects of their physical appearance. This preoccupation causes significant disruption in social, occupational, sexual and other areas of functioning. Like our guest today, these individuals often report social isolation, anxiety, increased depression, and even suicidal thoughts (Bjornsson et al, 2010, Himanshu, 2020). Two thirds of individuals with BDD develop the disorder before age 18 (Bjornsson et al., 2010). 

 There is an increase in young people seeking plastic surgery, as our guest Brooke did. A relatively new phenomenon called, “Snapchat Dysmorphia” describes a preoccupation with wanting to look like a filtered self image from social media and seeking surgical consult for this. Increased social media screen time contributes to dissatisfied body image, particularly for young girls. Research indicates that BDD affects 2.4% of the population, however, it is likely that this number is lower due to undiagnosed and unknown individuals who struggle but do not reach out for help.

Our guest, Brooke, shares how damaging comments from peers, societal pressures, and cultural stigmas shaped her self-worth, genital dysmorphia, and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). We also discuss “the orgasm gap,” the impact of societal norms on sexual satisfaction, and the importance of open dialogue about sexual health and body image. This episode emphasizes the need to stop shaming others' bodies and to embrace self-love and acceptance over the pursuit for “perfection” (which does not exist).

RESOURCES

Emily Nagoski  “Come As You Are”

https://www.instagram.com/the.vulva.gallery/

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:17 Brooke's Story: Struggles with Genital Dysmorphia

07:41 What Triggered All This?

11:48 Cultural Critique: The Pursuit of Perfection

21:45 The History of Shaming Vaginas

24:23 The Orgasm Gap and Female Pleasure

29:30 The Importance of Open Conversations

37:42 The Impact of OCD on Body Image

39:29 Healing Through Relationships and Self-Acceptance

42:23 The Power of Positive Affirmations

43:51 Challenging Genital Shaming

48:08 Therapy and Self-Reflection

54:42 Wrap up: Stop Talking About Others Bodies