12 Week Relationships Podcast (12 Week U)

How do we all create better, more healthy, relationships? Not just with your spouse or partner, but with your family, friends, and even co-workers?

12 Week Relationships is a coaching program led by clinical psychologist, Dr. Glen Hong, and wedding photographer & educator, Pye Jirsa. It’s a practical coaching program designed to help you make long-lasting improvements through a process we call CVFT™ or Core Value Focused Therapy.

Where traditional therapy focuses on outwardly visible symptoms, CVFT™ goes straight at the Core Values and belief systems that drive our behavior. The result is a therapy process that is not only intuitive and quickly effective; it’s unique from traditional therapy in that it actually works! Our Podcast and YouTube platform is where we share our research, case studies, guest interviews as well as answer your most frequently asked questions!

So welcome to TWR (12 Week Relationships)! We couldn’t be more thrilled that you’re here.

Nearly 15 years into a broken marriage, Pye Jirsa decided to create a framework for healthy relationships when his counselor said, “You’ve read every book on my shelf, I don’t know how to help you.”

While photographing weddings, Pye collected anonymous data to help better understand the nature of healthy relationships. Simple points of behavior and interactions between the people that stood in front of his lens. Ten years of anonymous data and well over 500 case studies eventually laid the groundwork for a framework, book, and what we now call CVFT™ or Core Value Focused Therapy.

Let’s talk about triggers. First, being triggered sucks, period. Common advice might be to avoid triggers, but unless we’re to become hermits, this is not an effective solution. In this episode, we discuss the root cause of our triggers. In the process, we also uncover the natural solution within a process we call Trauma Triggered Therapy.

When Pye presented his framework to Doctor Glen, he had a big bold thesis right on the cover. Pye claimed, “outside of romantic intimacy, all relationships follow the exact same patterns.”

Yeah, if you’re surprised, Doctor Glen thought he was crazy too. But seriously though, do all healthy long-term relationships follow the same patterns? As Doctor Glen dove into Pye’s data and framework, he began to realize the same simple truth. It’s common to view all of these relationships differently, but in reality, every healthy relationship needs the same principles to succeed.

Spending 40+ hours a week in an office full of drama is something nobody wants to do. Unfortunately, the feeling of dread when going to work is all too common and it’s usually caused by simple behaviors that might seem innocent, but can stir up serious conflict between co-workers. This can have pretty negative consequences on morale and productivity, not just at work, but in your personal life as well. For those who can relate, Pye and Dr. Glen lay out 5 toxic workplace behaviors to look out for as well as proactive steps you can take to maintain a healthy office environment.

Did you know only 25% of couples in traditional therapy actually see lasting change? Pair that with the insane costs and the time invested and you’ll see that something just isn’t right. Pye and Dr. Glen dug a little deeper to see what the heck is going on and were shocked to find that therapists will often rely on opinionated, unsubstantiated, and biased approaches to “solving” relationship problems.

Traditional couple’s therapy is broken, but the therapists aren’t entirely to blame. Pye and Dr. Glen dug in to find out why the traditional approach is so ineffective. Having realistic expectations is important when seeking help and the research revealed common misconceptions couples bring into therapy that prevent them from making lasting change.

Ending a relationship is a hard call to make. However, staying in an unhealthy or toxic relationship can have serious effects on your mental and physical health. While you may consider fighting for your relationship, if you recognize any of these red flags, Pye and Dr. Glen agree that it might be time to walk away.

Long before 12 Week Relationships, Dr. Glen was a county social worker. However, what would've been a fulfilling career was overshadowed by an extremely toxic work environment that took a heavy toll on his mental and emotional health. Years into it, a brain scan revealed trauma that was shockingly similar to that of someone returning from war.

Today, Dr. Glen shares the story of his experiences and the prices he had to pay before finally making the decision to walk away and begin his steps toward healing and recovery.

Very early into his marriage, Pye realized something was wrong. An early divorce would've been relatively simple with minimal consequences. However, as he went on to have children, a business, and more emotional energy was spent trying to hold the marriage together, the stakes only grew.

Nearly 15 years later, Pye exhausted all of his options and filed for divorce. The final bill included not only massive legal, counseling, and settlement costs, but a heavy toll on his mental health as well as his relationship with his children.

Sales and business are pure psychology. To sell a product or service, you have to understand your client or customer and what makes them tick. What do they value? What is it that they truly want or need?

Understanding sales from a psychology perspective can help you provide exactly what your clients value, leading to better sales and business as well as strong client relationships based on shared values and interests.

Religion is one of the most common criteria people have when finding a partner. They must share the same belief. However, does that mean the relationship will be healthy?

Dating and marrying within a religion has its benefits such as an established community and a shared value, but it's important to also consider the deeper motivations for being a part of the religion as well as individual core values. While religion can be a great start, taking it at surface value can lead to major conflict down the road.

Not a single professional has been able to answer the question "What does a healthy relationship look like?" We're talking dozens of doctors, experts, coaches, leaders, those who we usually go to when we need relationship advice.

As a result, Pye and Dr. Glen decided to take it upon themselves to find that answer. Through years of research and case-studies, they simplified the complex subject of relationships into the core components of a what makes a relationship successful. On top of that, they've turned it into an easy and actionable framework to start improving your own relationships immediately.

So what exactly does a healthy relationship look like?
Christmas is around the corner and for those anticipating another rowdy family gathering, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss some tips for dealing with your nosy aunts and uncles and not getting sucked into any egregious exchanges of expletives that may arise.

If you're dreading an upcoming family gathering during the holidays, you're not alone. Large family gatherings are hotspots for drama and can sour what should be a great holiday experience.

For those who couldn't find an excuse in time to get out of going, Pye and Dr. Glen have some useful tips for staying out the line of fire and avoiding getting dragged into a pointless confrontation.

Stay healthy and stay strong!
Christmas is around the corner and for those anticipating another rowdy family gathering, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss some tips for dealing with your nosy aunts and uncles and not getting sucked into any egregious exchanges of expletives that may arise.

Unresolved trauma leaves an unfulfilled wound and we'll often seek out relationships that fill that wound. If that trauma is deep enough, it'll override our true core values and lead us into toxic, co-dependent relationships. This dependence is highly unhealthy and never actually satisfies what we're missing. It's simply a band-aid remedy.

The key to breaking the pattern is to identify and address the core trauma that's guiding our unhealthy relationship decisions. Until we do, it's likely we'll only continue to chase similar relationships.

People convey and desire affection in many ways and it's different for everybody. However, these differences can cause one or both partners to feel unloved and distant, even if that's not the intention. Honest communication and mutual effort is key to resolving these conflicts, and if not, it may indicate deeper differences in personal values.

In this particular scenario from one of our community questions, Pye and Dr. Glen provide advice for a long distance relationship, where the feelings of distance and dissatisfaction is exacerbated by the limited means of communication.

A successful relationship requires a counter balanced effort. This means each partner should be putting in equal amounts of effort. However, if it feels like you're the one always making the plans, shouldering the responsibilities, or not having a chance to be heard, it might be time to set proper boundaries and expectations or address a deeper wound that might be the cause of this imbalanced relationship.
In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss the trauma that can lead us to pursue or stay in one-sided relationships, what to do if we find ourselves putting in more effort, and how to set boundaries and proper expectations in future relationships.

Having controlling parents while growing up can be damaging. This often leads to feelings of guilt and shame well into adulthood. It's a trauma that can be hard to resolve, especially if the parents continue to impose even after you've moved out.

Breaking free from your parents can be especially hard because, well, they're your parents and they have their own traumas that are causing their controlling behavior. Being aware of your parents' traumas as well as your own can help you establish strict boundaries and limit their influence to begin leading your own independent life and healing your relationship with them.
In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss how to break free from a controlling parent's influence and lead independent lives free of the guilt and shame associated with a controlling and manipulative figure.

Everyone is going to have their own opinions, and you might not agree with all of them. However, these days, it feels as though we can't even agree to disagree. The ability have conversations despite disagreements is critical if we want to grow, learn, and develop ideas.

Pye and Dr. Glen discuss the importance of avoiding absolutes and not taking the opinions of others personally. It's good to know how to deescalate, because nobody's convincing anyone when a disagreement gets heated.

Dealing with self doubt is actually a normal feeling. Questioning our own accomplishments is usually a healthy indication of our own humility.

However, in severe cases, this doubt can get in the way of our ability to make decisions and pursue ideas. If you find yourself in this situation, it's a good idea to step back and see if there's an unresolved trauma that's causing these biased beliefs.

Ultimately, these feelings are hardly a reflection of reality and if we approach it with a rational perspective, we often find out over time that we were indeed, good enough.

Our body language says more than we often realize. This is important, especially on a first date, where we might get a little too fixated on leaving a good impression to realize that our body language may actually be putting off the other person.

And the importance of body language doesn't stop at first impressions. They affect our closest relationships and how we express interest and regard. Understanding the role our body language plays in the way we communicate is critical for any relationship and Pye and Dr. Glen are here to share a few tips on how we can be more aware of our own body language and the messages we may really be sending.

Ever feel like a friend is taking advantage of your good intentions? The truth is, they might be using you to get something that they want.

People who use other people might present themselves as friends, but in reality, that's only a disguise for their manipulative tactics. This is tricky to catch, especially if you're naturally empathetic and helpful, but Pye and Dr. Glen have 5 signs that if you notice these in your relationships, it might be time to start setting boundaries.

A flaw in the divorce process is that the law sees the separating partners as "enemies." A relationship ending is painful enough, but when lawyers, custody, costs, and assigning blame gets involved, it can quickly bring out the worst out of everyone.

It's important to know what to expect if you're getting divorced. The relationship is in its final stages and wounds are going to be fresh. The trauma from a nasty divorce process can last a long time so it's best to focus on the priorities, especially if children are involved, and keep the process as amicable as possible.
Understanding what to expect during the divorce process as well as the changes that will occur in the relationship as it proceeds to the final and official stages of separation is crucial and the well being of each partner and particularly the children, if involved, should be prioritized.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss how and why divorces can bring the worst out of people and ways we can keep this already painful process as amicable and cordial as possible, should you or somebody you know, be going through a divorce.

Divorce lawyers directly oversee the final stages of marriages. They have a front row seat to the complex nature of relationships. Because divorce lawyers are so exposed to conflicts in relationships, they likely have very unique and detailed perspectives on how they might go about maintaining a healthy relationship.

Today, Pye and Dr. Glen react to Glamour's "Divorce Lawyers Give Relationship Advice" and offer some insight and commentary from the perspective of psychology.

Social media is a hotbed of arguments and nasty comments. The anonymity doesn't help. However, that's also a good reason to just not engage. In the vast majority of cases, it's not worth the energy to try and convince strangers why they're wrong over the internet.

But why do we get triggered by certain comments? Pye and Dr. Glen break down what creates "Keyboard Warriors," and how to avoid falling into an all out comment war.

Leaving an unhealthy long-term relationship is a lot like breaking a drug addiction. In fact, the stages and challenges involved are nearly identical. Somebody who finds themselves unable to break free from a toxic relationship may share similar physiological dependencies to that of a drug addict. The process of leaving an unhealthy relationship can be broken down into 6 stages and Pye and Dr. Glen are here to discuss what to expect while going through this process.
Leaving an unhealthy long-term relationship is a lot like breaking a drug addiction. In fact, the stages and challenges involved are nearly identical. Somebody who finds themselves unable to break free from a toxic relationship may share similar physiological dependencies to that of a drug addict. The process of leaving an unhealthy relationship can be broken down into 6 stages and Pye and Dr. Glen are here to discuss what to expect while going through this process.

Core Values are what drives our behaviors and decisions. They shape our relationships, careers, and overall quality of life. Core Values are formed by how we grow up and our experiences throughout life and they can change over time. If our actions and decisions don't align with these values, we quickly become unhappy and unfulfilled. That's why, in order to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, we need to understand what our Core Values are and act in accordance with those values.

Sometimes, what we think are our Core Values, actually wind up being desires, expectations, or past trauma. To discover our true Core Values, we have to peel back the layers and it's normal to miss the mark as we try and uncover what's really driving our actions. To help out with the process, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss examples of what Core Values are and aren't, and ways to know if your Core Values are actually your Core Values.

Core Values play a vital role in our relationships, careers, and overall lives. They guide our decisions and actions. However, unresolved past trauma can blind our decision making and cause us to act to satisfy a wound instead, which can have negative long term consequences if left unresolved. Once we identify and resolve those past traumas, we can then lay out a strong foundation of Core Values to guide us to a healthier and fulfilling life.

Relationships with aligned Core Values are energizing and fulfilling. On the other hand, a relationship with misaligned Core Values can be emotionally taxing. This is because when Core Values are misaligned, each individual aims for different things. Without proper boundaries, this misalignment can lead to resentment and unhappiness in the relationship. Understanding our own Core Values helps us seek out connections and relationships that are deeply meaningful, purposeful, and long-lasting.

Relationships never stay the same. People change and so do their values and goals. It's a natural process. Some relationships develop together with these changes. Others form deep rifts and differences. When this happens, the relationship can begin to feel one sided or exhausting to maintain. This is a sign that a relationship may no longer be serving you and Pye and Dr. Glen share some advice on how to move forward if this happens to be the case.

People pleasers and narcissists together create the perfect storm. What the people pleaser has to give, the narcissist is happy to take. This can create an extremely co-dependent and toxic relationship that's very difficult to break out of.

To better understand the people pleaser and narcissist, Pye and Dr. Glen dive into how the wounds that fuel these behaviors are created and how to begin the process of healing and seeking out healthier relationships.

There's a lot of terrible dating advice out there. Many of them sound great and helpful at first but can in fact, damage your relationship instead. To clear the air, Pye and Dr. Glen offer their thoughts on some of the most popular dating tips and how they actually enable toxic behaviors rather than encourage healthy relationships and perspectives on love.

Like dating advice, there's plenty of bad marriage advice out there. Most of them don't even consider the nuances of each relationship, individual, and situation. Instead, they offer one-size-fits-all solutions that not only miss the target, but can make things worse. Today, Pye and Dr. Glen react to 10 pieces of bad marriage advice and offer alternative approaches and insights for solving common marital problems.

Time for community questions! Lately, we've had tons of questions coming in from our listeners through our social media pages and we'd like to dedicate some time to answer them!

While we don't offer direct advice on social media, we do enjoy these opportunities to open up discussions with our wonderful community, so please feel free to continue sending us questions! We do deeply respect privacy, so should we share your question in our episodes, all names will remain anonymous.

We'd like to welcome our very first guest on our show, Amanda Lee, creator of My Mommy the Artist.

Amanda comes from an intense religious background that led her into marriage before she was ready. The marriage quickly unraveled and after over a decade of trauma and deteriorating health, Amanda left her relationship behind. She has since made tremendous progress in recovering and gaining back control of her life.

Today, she shares the trauma from growing up in an intensely religious environment and it shaped the way she parents and approaches relationships today.

My Mommy the Artist is a platform that helps parents raise healthy, creative, and capable children.

➜ Learn more about Amanda's work at My Mommy the Artist: https://www.mymommytheartist.com/
➜ Connect with Amanda: https://www.instagram.com/mymommytheartist/

Trauma bonding can feel like real love and intimacy. This is because when we trauma bond, we're connecting over our wounds and that can provide temporary but deep comfort. However, this doesn't heal our traumas and only satisfies the needs of the wound. A relationship built around trauma bonding can quickly become toxic and co-dependent.

To help you know if trauma is guiding your relationship decisions, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss common signs of unhealed wounds and how to begin healing in order to seek out healthier relationships built around shared Core Values and goals.

Actions speak louder than words, especially in the case of relationships. We can see how two people truly feel about each other just by observing their body language. Sometimes these signs are subtle and other times, they speak volumes. As experts, Pye and Dr. Glen have intensely observed the body languages of couples over the years and share some common cues and signs that can indicate whether a relationship is healthy or not.
In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss common body languages and cues that can reveal whether a relationship is healthy or not. Stay tuned for Part 2!

Raising children is tough. Add a divorce and a toxic ex-partner and it can become unbelievably complicated. Now the children are raised in two separate homes, each out of the control of the other. How do you provide a healthy childhood with only half the time and a stubborn ex who refuses to listen?

Today, our guest, Amanda Lee of My Mommy the Artist, discusses the challenges of raising children with a toxic ex, how to put aside bitter feelings from the marriage, and the importance of setting the better and healthier example for your children.

➜ Learn more about Amanda's work at My Mommy the Artist: https://www.mymommytheartist.com/
➜ Connect with Amanda: https://www.instagram.com/mymommytheartist/

People pleasing is a trauma-based behavior that causes one to tend to someone's needs at the expense of their own. People pleasing also goes beyond simply agreeing with someone or helping out of goodwill. Instead, people pleasers act out of fear of rejected by the other person. Pleasing the needs of others becomes their definition of love. While pleasing others may satisfy the people pleaser's immediate needs, this comes at the cost of confidence, identity, and happiness.

Fortunately, people pleasing behaviors aren't permanent and Pye and Dr. Glen lay out where this behavior stems from in order to begin making effective change, setting boundaries, and putting your own needs first.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen react to moments from Love is Blind's Season 2 Premiere and reveal common dating mistakes and misperceptions that tend to disguise themselves as true love.

Love is Blind is currently one of the hottest shows on Netflix. It's an exciting dating show where potential partners get engaged without ever seeing each other!

Shayne and Natalie from Love is Blind Season 2 are a perfect example of trauma bonding. Not only that, but Pye and Dr. Glen make the argument that they are the worst possible match for one another. It may be hard to believe. After all, trauma bonding is powerful and can be mistaken for love. However, behind Shayne and Natalie's relationship are differences in values and world views that quickly unraveled by the reunion episode and all that remained seemed to be pain, blame, and clear signs that it was perhaps, for the best.

Narcissism comes in many colors and Shake and Deepti are two different shades. Nuance is important when discussing narcissism and the role it plays in trauma-based relationships, particularly Shake and Deepti's. While that nuance seems to have been completely missed by the cast of Love is Blind, Pye and Dr. Glen are here to analyze Shake and Deepti's complex relationship and the heated exchange that ensued between Shake and the cast.

Our entire mission is to simplify the complex subject of relationships and to help in your journey by sharing practical and actionable guidance, backed by science and real-world research.

Because we’re constantly looking for new science and data to improve every aspect of what we do, we're always creating new content!

This is why we're creating a newsletter called the TWR Roadmap, where Pye and Dr. Glen have an opportunity to guide you along this journey in a step-by-step format.

➜ Join the TWR Roadmap Newsletter here: https://12weekrelationships.com/
➜ One on One Coaching Waitlist : https://12weekrelationships.com/join-the-waitlist/

Children are highly complex and intuitive. They're naturally filled with creativity, energy, and emotion. It's a parent's role to foster and nurture these qualities to ensure the children grow up with the necessary skills to healthily express themselves, handle conflict, and process emotions.

Amanda Lee, creator of My Mommy the Artist, shares 4 great tips for communicating effectively with children and creating a safe learning environment as the children become exposed to new and increasingly complex challenges.

Pye and Dr. Glen asked 30+ professionals, "What does a healthy relationship look like?" And not one could provide an adequate answer and we're talking counselors, marriage therapists, relationship experts, life/relationship coaches, psychologists, etc.

Their answers were no better than the bad relationship advice floating out there in the world. You know, the statements that sound profound but offer little-to-no actionable guidance?

Upon further research, Pye and Dr. Glen discovered deep flaws in couple's therapy and the reasons that made them so statistically ineffective.

Thus, 12 Week Relationships was created, with the goal of simplifying the complex world of relationships and providing effective and actionable guidance that leads to positive and long lasting change.

Welcome to 12 Week Relationships. This video will give you an idea of what we do and how we can help you build better relationships in weeks, not years!

In order to tell whether a relationship is healthy or not, look closely at their body language and subtle behaviors. These will often reveal more than words. Certain behaviors can indicate differences in values that will later become major conflicts. Certain body language can also indicate how each partner regards one another. Keep in mind that some of these signs can be subtle. But too many in a row can be a huge red flag.

Using years of observations, Pye and Dr. Glen have compiled a list of subtle signs that can indicate a relationship's health and this is part 2 of that list.

Through years of research, Pye simplified a relationship into three simple core components: Desire, Quality Time, and Sustainability. These three make up a loop called the Stupid-Simple Relationship Method, or SSRM. If a relationship runs into trouble, it often means that one or more of these three components is missing or has begun to fade.

This stupid-simple formula is designed to help you better understand why some relationships work and others don't. And this applies to all of your relationships, not just your romantic ones.

As soon as it happened, the questions began pouring in. We're talking about the Will Smith / Chris Rock controversy at this year's Academy Awards. So what really happened?? There are some interesting arguments being made including who's really at fault or whether this was about preserving masculinity and honor. In hopes of putting to bed some claims being shared on the internet, Pye and Dr. Glen provide some experts' insight on what this incident may have really been about.

A healthy relationship is energizing and allows for each partner to be the best version of themselves without judgement. On the other hand, an unhealthy relationship leaves you feeling drained, anxious, and hesitant to be your true self. To help better understand if you're in an unhealthy relationship, Pye and Dr. Glen walk through some common signs and behaviors that may indicate a need for change.

Most of the relationships you create will fail to have long term significance. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you! This truth applies to virtually everyone. Of all the people you’ll encounter in your lifetime, a small portion will be a part of your social sphere. An even smaller portion will become close friends, and even fewer, intimate relationships.



Who you spend your time with will also significantly influence who you become, and so because our resources are so limited, we owe it to ourselves to cultivate the right relationships.

We're back with more community-submitted relationship questions!

We love collaborating with our incredible community so if you're curious about anything relationship related, you can DM us your questions on Instagram at @12weekrelationships! While we don't offer direct relationship advice, we may select your question for an upcoming Q&A episode. We respect your privacy so we promise your name will remain anonymous.

Why is it that most of our acquaintances never turn into friendships? Along the same lines, why do most of our friendships tend to fade over time? What we're getting at here is Desire.

Desire is essentially the "want" for the relationship. The emotional benefits that justify your efforts to create a new relationship or support your choice to spend time with an existing one. Without Desire, friendships and relationships fade away or simply never form.

So what creates Desire and why can it be so fleeting?

Like any relationship dynamic, some level of fighting and disagreements is expected in a family. There are healthy ways to settle disagreements but toss in a bit of dysfunction and things can quickly spin out of control.

For those constantly finding themselves in the middle of family drama, seemingly to no end, Pye and Dr. Glen lay out some real-life examples and tips for diffusing the situation as well as healthier alternatives to approaching sensitive issues with family.

When relationships grow apart, we often hear people fall back on explanations like "We just got too busy," or "We don't live near each other anymore." But the reality is that the relationship ended because it was nothing more than a casual relationship that was supported by circumstance rather than deliberate choice.

Within these situational relationships, or Situationships, Desire is not a factor because the Quality Time is created by a circumstance such as work or school, and Desire to pursue more never develops. So when the circumstance that created the Situationship is no longer there, the relationship naturally grows apart.

Situationships still provide great value, meaning, and emotional benefit to our lives within the context of the circumstance, so it's important to enjoy them for what they are while taking the time to understand what propels some relationships forward, while others remain at a distance.

Today, we're tackling some more of our community-submitted relationship questions.

Our community is important to us! We love hearing your feedback and answering your questions. If you're curious about anything relationship related, you can DM us your questions on Instagram at @12weekrelationships. While we don't offer direct relationship advice, we may select your question for an upcoming Q&A episode. Don't worry, we 100% respect your privacy so we promise your name will remain anonymous.

This is the second part of our latest relationship Q&A so be sure to check out Part 1 (Episode #52)

So far in our Roadmap episodes, we've discussed Desire and Quality Time as two key components for what makes a successful relationship and what happens when either are absent. Today, we're going to discuss the final piece of the Stupid-Simple Relationship Method: Sustainability.

Sustainability dictates our emotional cost in maintaining a relationship. When we say a relationship lacks Sustainability, what we’re saying is that the emotional costs are so high that it’s eroding our Desire to continue the relationship. Without Sustainability, we can’t close the loop and continue feeding Desire. We stop wanting the relationship because “it’s just not worth the effort.”

While within Sustainability, we can find the reasons WHY your relationships end, we can also find also the solutions on HOW to keep your relationships healthy.

Conflict is stressful and it's easy to get lost in our elevated emotions. Nobody likes feeling attacked or one may be dead set on making their point. Either way, reason can tend to take a back seat and ego take the wheel, unnecessarily fanning the flames and prolonging the conflict.

However, conflict is inevitable and necessary for growth and healthy dialogue is key to finding an effective resolution. To do so, Pye and Dr. Glen walk through 5 commonly made mistakes to avoid during conflict and provide alternative approaches to more productive conversations.

A relationship built around trauma can be difficult to spot because they can feel "right" in so many ways. They fulfill deep needs created by past traumas and we tend to mistake that fulfillment for closeness and connection. The bonds and beliefs created by these wounds can be so powerful that they can blind each partner to deep differences in values and interests that would otherwise throw the relationship into question.

Pye and Dr. Glen discuss 5 common signs that a relationship is built around trauma and how these relationships can negatively affect other areas of life if left to continue.

We talk a lot about our 12 week programs and how they're designed to help you become your own relationship expert in 12 weeks, hence our name, 12 Week Relationship.

Lately, we've been getting a ton of questions asking what are the programs actually like? What is C.V.F.T.™? What do we actually do over the course of the 12 weeks? In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen dive into the upcoming 12 Week Life & Relationships Group Coaching program and what you can expect while going through the process.

Enroll early here for the 12 Week Life & Relationships Group Coaching Program!
➜ https://bit.ly/3OMFtfl

How do we convey empathy through a digital medium? How can we communicate complex ideas in simple and relatable ways to a broader audience?

Matthias Barker is a therapist and popular content creator on topics around mental health and personal development. Widely known for his viral short-form videos, Matthias has mastered the ability to relay complex messages in a way that viewers of all ages and backgrounds can relate to and understand. Communication is at the center of it all and Pye and Matthias dig a little deeper into how he developed this critical skill through his upbringing and rise into his career as well as how we, ourselves, can become better communicators.

Learn more about Matthias' various mental health workshops:
➜ Workshops: https://matthiasjbarker.com/

Be sure to visit Matthias' podcast as well as his social media channels:
➜ Matthias J. Barker Podcast: https://apple.co/3QVTxVI
➜ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthiasjbarker/
➜ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@matthiasjbarker
➜ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MatthiasBarker

Having children or not is one of the most important decisions a couple has to make. It's a life changing choice and a difference in positions can cause deep rifts, but is calling it quits or conceding the answer? Can the difference be reconcilable? Will I or my partner change over time?

This is a common discussion among couples and one that needs to be handled with careful thought and consideration. To help, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss their perspectives on addressing this conflict and making a sound decision that won't lead down a road of regret.

Unconditional love is commonly seen as the ideal kind of love. A guaranteed and secure kind of love, much like a parent's love for their child. Unconditional love is also often expected within a romantic relationship. However, does such a love exist? Pye and Dr. Glen debate whether love and relationships can truly be unconditional or if all relationships, regardless of circumstance, are bound by some terms and expectations.

We've discussed the Narcissist vs. People Pleaser dynamic and how it's the perfect toxic storm in a previous episode, but today's episode is all about what narcissism actually is. Pye and Dr. Glen dive deep into the wide spectrum of narcissism, what exactly goes on in the mind of a narcissist, and the nuances of this often misunderstood personality disorder.

Cheaters are ultimately responsible for the act of cheating itself, but there's usually a much more complicated picture of the relationship that gets lost in the betrayal and shock. We can agree that cheating is bad, but does that make the cheater a bad person? The answer isn't so black and white.

Pete Davidson recently shared that he has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). BPD is not only easy to misunderstand, it’s a disorder shared by many highly successful people.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen do a deep dive on Borderline Personality Disorder. What is BPD? What does it look like and what can it be often confused for? How do you manage BPD or create/maintain relationships with people that have this disorder?

The end of a relationship can be devastating in many ways. Heartbreak is extremely painful and the first instinct is to try and remove that pain by any means. However, during this sensitive period, it's important to be mindful of your decisions as you heal and to help out, Pye and Dr. Glen provide some great tips for healthily processing the heartache and moving on from a relationship.

Why did we opt to call our service "coaching" rather than psychotherapy? People commonly mix them up, however, coaching and therapy are quite different in how they address the needs of their clients and particularly, the goals of the service.

In this episode, Pye & Dr. Glen discuss these differences in approaches and what to consider when deciding which one may be better for you.

Did you know that how you parent your children will affect their mental health and relationships well into adulthood? In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss attachment theory and the 6 different parenting styles that lead to either secure or insecure attachments later in the child's life.

Dr. Courtney is an accomplished psychotherapist and widely popular mental health content creator under the name "The Truth Doctor."

Today, she joins Pye in a discussion around imposter syndrome, where this feeling of being an imposter comes from, and how we can move past it to allow ourselves comfort in our accomplishments and ambitions.

Jordan Peterson recently released a video titled "Doctors & Psychotherapists: Butchers & Liars." In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen share their thoughts and reactions to Dr. Peterson's video.

This is part 2 of Pye & Dr. Glens' analysis of Jordan Peterson's recently released lecture titled "Doctors & Psychotherapists: Butchers & Liars." Part 1 in the previous episode.

Whether it be a first time topic or a prepared debate, it's important to understand key aspects of communication and how ideas are shared and received. In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen talk about the importance of knowledge, bias, and context, particularly when having contentious conversations.

We got our first 1 star review! Was it fair?

In this tense social and political environment, we're seeing individuals, groups, and companies get "canceled" and "deplatformed" for their actions and/or statements. But is "cancelling" always the right reaction? Are there alternatives? Listen in to see what Pye and Dr. Glen think about cancel culture.

Do you feel a little distant when you're with your friends or family when it used to be so effortless and easy? It might just mean that you're changing and growing.

This happens because people change at different paces and pursue differing values and interests. This is a completely normal fact of life that should be embraced, not avoided, and in this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen walk through 5 signs that you may simply be outgrowing the people around you.

A vulnerable (inverse) narcissist believes they are entitled due to a painful past experience and are manipulative and controlling, just like a grandiose narcissist.

However, the vulnerable narcissist identifies with their pain and wields it as their weapon and can be very sneaky with how they go about getting what they want, especially in relationships. Here are 5 signs that you may be dating a vulnerable (inverse) narcissist.

Is our coaching program covered by insurance? Short answer is no. Long answer is a little more complex and requires us to dig into how insurance works when it comes to therapy and coaching.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen talk about the absolute insanity of insurance for couples therapy and what to expect when seeking help for your relationship.

In today's episode, Pye and Dr. Glen share their thoughts and advice on some incredibly difficult marriage situations that some of our viewers have graciously shared with us.

If you have any questions you'd like to hear on a future episode or a story you'd like to share, you can DM us on Instagram or email us directly. All names and private information will be kept anonymous.

There's a ton of dating advice being shared on TikTok, but are they any good? Let's see what the experts have to say!

Trevor Hanson is an associate marriage & family therapist who has garnered an impressive following on social media sharing tips and advice on healing and healthy communication in relationships.

In this episode, Pye and Trevor discuss common negative patterns that appear in relationships and the true messages and emotions underneath these behaviors.

You've heard them a million times. That same basic relationship advice ad nauseum. But are they even any good?? Let's find out as Pye and Dr. Glen debunk 5 cliché pieces of marriage advice.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen continue with breaking down 5 MORE pieces of cliché marriage advice and whether they're any good or just pure junk.

How do healthy relationships work? Platonic or romantic, we all know that relationships have many moving parts, but what are those parts exactly? In this video, we're going to show you how relationships work from the standpoint of CVFT or Core Value Focused Therapy. We're going to show a framework that explains the nature of all healthy relationships, platonic or romantic. Let's dive in!

Open relationships have become more and more common, especially among younger generations. But the question is, "do open relationships ACTUALLY work?" From both a science and practical level, are open relationships actually viable, or are they just idealistic and doomed to fail?

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen define an open relationship, discuss why open relationships might be desirable, then go into what's necessary to make an open relationship sustainable long-term. Stick around, because not only will they get into the most common reasons open relationships fail, Pye and Dr. Glen will also be sharing their opinions on open relationships at the end!

They cheated... Should you stay and work it out or end the relationship? Let's take a look at the data on whether a relationship can ACTUALLY be repaired after cheating.

In today's episode, Pye and Dr. Glen dive deep into the stats and discuss the key factors to repairing a relationship and what to look for when deciding whether to stay or move on.

There's a lot of bad advice out there. Most of the time we'd just say, "to each their own." But every now and then a video masqueraded as relationship or marriage advice goes viral. This is one of those examples. Not only has this video amassed millions upon millions of views, but many of the people who watched it agreed with what was being said (which you can see from the comments).

"My husband is my boss" embraces a kind of traditionalism often found in religious environments that might sound crazy to modern and progressive cultures. But given the amount of attention this video has garnered, we felt it deserves an analysis. In this episode, we're going to not only break down the concepts presented by this matchmaker, but we're also going to talk about traditional gender roles within marriage.

What's the number one reason for divorce? According to this famous pastor, it's "immaturity" and the lack of effort.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen react to Pastor Rick Warren's painfully oversimplified, and frankly, irresponsible, take on divorce and discuss the factors that ACTUALLY contribute to the end of a marriage.

Stonewalling is a type of communication breakdown that can leave one feeling ignored, unimportant, or even dismissed altogether. Per research by the Gottman Institute, it’s also one of the leading predictors of relationship failure and divorce. While it’s a common relationship problem, it’s important to be aware of its impact in order to address it immediately.

In this episode, Pye & Dr. Glen dive into the different types of stonewalling, how it affects a relationship, and how you can stop it if you find yourself stonewalling or being stonewalled.

Relationships are a lot like gardens – they require consistent care and attention in order to thrive. We often admire beautiful gardens all while being ignorant or oblivious to the work that it took to create such a garden. Relationships are quite similar, aren't they? Just like that beautiful garden, it’s easy to see the beauty in someone else’s relationship and to want that thing for ourselves. This is where we might fall into the notion of the “grass being greener on the other side.” But the truth follows something more like what Neil Barringham said, “the grass is greener where you water it.”

Whether you’re newly dating or have been together for years, there are steps you can take to cultivate a strong and healthy partnership.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen provide tips for how to keep your relationship grass wonderfully green. It’s worth noting that we’re going to focus on marriage/partnerships, but most of these tips are going to be applicable to ALL of your long-term relationships.

Resentment is the number one indicator of divorce or separation in a relationship. Translation: The stakes are high!

However, beyond the obvious consequence of your relationship ending, there are hidden costs of resentment in a relationship that couples are often not aware of, or do not acknowledge. In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss and answer the question: How do you identify and overcome resentment?

Contempt in relationships is not only destructive, it's the single biggest predictor of relationship failure. It's a pervasive feeling of disrespect, anger, and disapproval that goes beyond just feeling frustrated with your partner.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen explore the causes of contempt in relationships, the signs that indicate its presence, its effects, and solutions to prevent its spread.

Defensiveness is a common reaction to criticism, where individuals become protective and guarded, perceiving a threat to their self-esteem or sense of identity. It is a natural response when feeling attacked, but if it becomes a habitual pattern, it can damage relationships and hinder personal growth.

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen define defensiveness and discuss how to identify and change this behavior in relationships.